little sayings I never understood how we as people came to use such stupid phrazes as "it takes one to know one" this is not true sometimes it takes 2 or even 3 just to know one. I feel that way about a lot of sayings so here is a list.

"dont take any wooden nickels". Why not, what if I want wooden nickels? And why do people say this, did they really make wood nickels at one time. I think nobody is takeing them so I want them, they must be in a big pile somewhere and I think I can some how make some money off of them.

"that's how the cookie crumbels." How, how does is crumbel, badly? I heard someone say this when someone had something bad happen to them. I guess cookies crumbel badly. But how can it do that, what, did the cookie get hit by a truck?

"it's like killing two birds with one stone." OK, why do I want to kill birds with a stone? I guess if you kill birds you are doing good but if a cookie crumbels you are doing bad. Did I miss something here.

"dumb as a door knob." I actually think door knobs are pretty smart. If they dont like you they wait untill you get really drunk and then place them selves on the door right where you will get hit in the nut's with it. Now that takes some planning.

Here are a few in one. I think you can lead a gift horse to watter but you cant make him drink, whatever you do, dont look him in the mouth. Aparently that means troble.

"A bird in the hand is better then 2 in the bush" I agree if any other birds come near the bush I put my bird in I will hit them with a stone.

"dont cry over spilt milk" How many people actually cry for this reason? I think if you cry when you spill milk then you are a pussy and we need to get rid of you.

Here is something else they say but this only aplys to you if you shave your head. I have had my head shaved for some time now and this is what I get from people. "nice hair cut" or "I like your hair". How can you like my hair and shouldent you be saying "nice shave you got there"? I think I should be hearing nice skelp not hair even nice skull would do.

For another rant kinda like this one, go the the last rant on this page.

MUSIC! What the fuck is it with all this shit where we have to break down music into groups? Let's just skip the fact that most music lately sux so bad that they dont deserve to even be placed in groups and move on with the rant. We only need 2 maybie 3 kinds of music. Most of it is the same. I can't tell the differance between Rap, hip hop, ragay, soul and R&B. So there you got your first group "BLACK", that is all you need a big fucking black section in store's for all that kind of music. Moveing on, pop, rock, hard rock, alt and metal (there are more kinds here but you get the idea). There is our next group "WHITE", put that across from the black section. Now we have a new mixed kind om music and is it geting a bigger following everyday. I am talking about this fucking stupid cross between rock and rap, like limp bizkit. I hate this shit but it is getting big so we need a new and third group of music. Thisone is called "ORIEO", just like the cookie a cross between black and white, you can put that shit in the back of the fucking store between the other 2 kinds of music. And there you go 3 kinds of music, fast and easy.

TV Why does TV have to suck, all the time, every day nommatter when you trun it on? Ok ie, take HBO, what is up with the sitcom bullshit they r trying to show us now? The mind of a married man is stupid, dont get me wrong I like tit's as much as the next guy but when men get a little older they come to realize that, sometimes tit's are just a ploy. This show is geared to adult males, so us guy,s will watch it once and see tit's then we watch it again just waiting for the tit seen. I saw this show 2 time's and both times there was this nuid chick, but it was the same chick, mem dont watch a sit com for the same chick. Face it HBO, you can only break a tabo one time and you did it with dream on, so show us something funny or show us something to jerk off to, the mind of a married man is neather one of them so get it the fuck off the air.

INSANITY IS NOT JUST FOR CHRISTMAS ANYMORE.

Hey everybody let's go fishing for chickin nugets. I am not crazy, everyone else is. When I look around I cant help but to come to the realization that people are nuts. We have people going through the wendys drive through noding at the speakers. You drive on a parkway and park in a drive way, if the 7-11 is open 24 hrs a day then why are there loks on the doors? Why is is that you can cut a worm in half and get 2 worms but you cant do the same thing with a cow? The world is full of crazyness and I think we just have to laugh at it.

FOOD
What the hell is up with all this food they are trying to sell us lately? Ok poptarts, I like poptarts at least I did, untill the poptart sticks. Everybody knows that the best part of a poptart is the nice frut filled middle. You put them a toster, then take them to a plat and promtly remoive the eges. So what the fuck is up with them trying to sell us poptart sticks? All they are is a poptart wits two times the edge. They give you less good stuff. Moveing on, I have people that eat there walfuls wrong. Some people dont fill all the holes with stuff. When you are going to spread and/or pore something on a waful you have to fill up all the god damn holes. Not doing this is skiping a little flavor spot. Lets face it walfuls are only really flavored with what we put on them. If you dont eat walfus right or if you buy poptart sticks then FUCK YOU!!

Something? Nothing?

Is the real just what you can see hear touch and smell, I think not. People dont ask questions anymore. What is time? It flys when you are haveing fun and drags on when you are not. When you are in a dream state it is not there at all. When you dream are you really alive, half dead or in another world. Is that world the real world? Are we somebody elses dream? People seem to think we stoped evolving after we became what we are today. I think that is very narrow minded. What makes you think that we are done, and who says that we cant take the next stage ourselves. We just may be able to if we ask more questions and think for ourselves. Are you really there when I am not with you?
Condoms
Most componys have slogns and if you just add the word condoms to a part of that slogon is becomes quite amuseing.
Chevy condoms like a rock
Ford condoms have you driven one lately
Visa condoms it's everywhere you want to be
TNN condoms we got pop
army condoms be all you can be
Cambels condoms MMMMM MMMM good
Snickers condoms satisfys the hunger inside you
Pringels condoms once you pop you cant stop
Lays condoms bet you cant eat just one
Miller condoms never bitter
Well you get the idea so start thinking of them on your own.

I hate to poop

Ok I know why we have to poop but I hate the idea, Just knowing that you have to poop means there is no god. If there was a god you would not have to poop. Sometimes I have to whipe over and over again and still have shit stuck to me, that really sux. And why do you always have to poop after you just get out of the shower and are all nice and clean, then you poo and you ass gets all dirty again, you feel like you should rewash your ass or something. And dont you hate the fact that you just have to sit there every day or so and take a poop? I have better things to do with my time then take a shit. The world would be a better place with no poo in it.
Will you people just listen to yourselves? We as people say some stupid things. How can there ever be more of something then you can shake a stick at? I mean why cant you shake a stick at a whole bunch of something? Dont catch your death, just let it fall and you got nothing to worry about. People say some stupid things just look at how funny they sound when you follow the logic of what you are saying. Black people do this more then anybody, it is even in there names. Did you ever notice that black names sound like componys or STD.s? I am just waiting for the day I am walking down the street and I hear a black woman yelling "Hepititus-B, you owt siyde ta langn U gonna catch yer deth" Now that would be funny.
MORE RANTS TO COME VERY SOON. click here to go back home

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws