Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program Big Valley are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the authors. The ideas expressed in this story are copywrited by the author.

 

True Intentions-by nutterone

 

11

 

Eugene’s wire home infuriated his family.  It told them nothing.

 

Wallent dead attempting to take herd. Stop

Able men returning within the week. Stop

Money wired to bank. Stop

Letter to follow.  Stop

Eugene

 

“What is this nonsense?”  Despite the need of a cane, Nick stormed through the foyer intending to leave.

 

“Nicholas!  Come back here and sit.  You aren’t to be moving around so much.”

 

“Mother!  How can I just sit after getting that wire? I gotta go to San Diego.”

 

“Nick!  Calm down!  Mother’s right.  We’ll just have to wait until Gene’s letter arrives with more details.”  Jarrod moved to Nick’s side and pulled him back into the parlor.

 

“Mother, you don’t think Gene’s injured do you?  Why is he sending a letter?  Isn’t he coming home?”

 

Audra had spoken everyone’s fears.  “I know as much as you do, Darling.  I agree with your brother, we will simply have to wait until the letter arrives.”

 

“But, Mother?”

 

“Audra!  We have no choice.  The letter will be here before we make it to San Diego.”

 

Nick grumbled and Jarrod handed him a drink to calm him down.  Dinner conversation was quiet as all worried about Eugene.  Victoria’s internal agony doubled.  Now she waited on two vital pieces of evidence.  If somehow Thomson had been killed, would her problem be gone?

 

The men traveled by train without needing to drive a herd and in less then two days Karl and the men rode in.  Karl went directly to the main house to deliver the letter Eugene had entrusted him. 

 

“Ma’am!”  Karl tipped his hat and handed Victoria the letter. “I suspect you’ll be wanting to read this right away.”

 

“Yes, thank you, Karl!  Are you well?”

 

“Yes, Ma’am.  We dropped a couple of the men in town to have Doc check ‘em, over again.  Eugene ordered us to.  They’ll be fine.  I suspect we can all use a good night’s sleep and a hot bath.”

 

Victoria smiled, proud of Eugene.  “You’ve earned it, Karl.  Please thank the men for me.”

 

“Will do!”

 

Victoria shut the door and clutched the letter to her chest.  Her heart raced at the words that she might find inside.  She intended to read it herself first but Nick appeared and noticed it at once.

 

“It’s about TIME!  The men are back.   Let’s get that letter open!”

 

“Nick, shouldn’t you see to the men first?”  Victoria hoped to buy some time. 

 

“No!  I need to know what happened first.”  Nick’s voice had summoned Audra and Jarrod and the family moved to the parlor.

 

“Shall I, Mother?”  Jarrod reached for the letter.  He suspected his mother was as nervous as he was.  He had watched the men ride in and noted the absence of the man who had come to haunt his dreams.  Had he died?

 

“Yes, Dear.”  She slowly handed him the letter.

 

Jarrod opened the letter and felt a bit of relief at the sight of Eugene’s strong confident handwriting.  He hadn’t been in pain writing it.  He noted the many pages thick in his hands.  They would get the whole story.

 

“Dearest Family,

What a trip this has been.  I hope all is well at home, including Nick.  I think of him many times a day hoping I am doing right by him.  Heath was a tremendous help to me and yet none of the other men realize it.  They actually thought I was in charge.”

 

“Good thing to!  I told him he better see to Gene’s needs!”

 

“Sh!  Let him read the letter.”  Seldom did his little sister silence Nick.

 

Victoria ignored her children’s banter focusing on the words, ‘Heath was’.

 

Jarrod continued.  “I know you would not be able to wait on my return for the whole story, so I have written out this lengthy explanation.”

 

Victoria’s heart leapt.  Was Gene injured and unable to come home?

 

“I hate to be the one to tell Nick this but it appears Wallent was not interested in helping us and our neighbors.  He intended to steal our herd from the beginning.  For some reason, our course never set quite right with me.  I sent Karl to check out our original path by the lake and he found it full and flourishing.  (There is great fishing there too.  We should consider a brother’s fishing trip there!)

 

Wallent didn’t show his hand after we changed routes.  It made me even more suspicious and I was not alone.  It wasn’t until just outside of San Diego that he made his move.  Wallent begged off claiming he wanted to sleep in a soft bed.  He left us that last night but returned with a large force of men.  It was only due to Heath that we are alive.  He sensed something was wrong.  He was brave enough to speak what was in my heart.  I put the men on alert and we were ready.”

 

“Of all the men to help him why did it have to be Thomson?”  Nick groaned and was again shushed by Audra.

 

“First they came at night.  We pretended to sleep.  The men from Wallent crept in and seemed to want only to take us captive.  We got the jump on them and bound them.  Just as we had secured them, shots began raining in on us. 

 

You would be proud.  We fought back.  Although they had us pinned down, Heath is an amazing sharpshooter and he was able to cut us a hole to move through.  I didn’t go to war but I have to imagine this was close to it.  It was nothing like Sample’s farm where we stood our ground.  There was chaos everywhere.  Our men fought hard and remained loyal to us even when Wallent offered to pay them off.”

 

“Thomson this and Thomson that.  Sounds to me like the kid’s got a case of hero worship.”  Nick grumbled.  His comments were met by scowls from his family.

 

“Nick?  Didn’t you hear what Gene’s just gone through?”  Jarrod wanted to read on but was stunned by Nick’s focus.

 

“What?  It sounds as if it was good for him.  He’s grown up a bit.”

 

“Nicholas!  You’re brother could have died.”

 

“But he didn’t!  Come on, Jarrod.  Read!”

 

“The gunshots seemed to go on forever but in reality it was over shortly.  Heath plunged on ahead after Wallent and I followed him.  I wanted to get Wallent badly.  Wallent was hiding behind some rocks waiting for us.  Just as we went past him he stood up and called to me.  Heath and I heard and stopped.  Wallent aimed right at me.  The next thing I know I hear a shot and feel myself flying toward the ground.  It all happened so fast.  I was pinned to the ground with Heath on top of me and he was firing at Wallent. 

 

He killed him.  Wallent is dead.  He stared at me with blank dead eyes.  I wish I could feel something for him but I don’t.  I’m glad he’s dead. 

 

Heath finally rolled off me and several of our men ran up.  The others had been run off and they were coming to help us.  Karl helped me to my feet.  I sent one group of men to handle the herd and the others to help the injured from either side.  It was only then that I noticed Heath hadn’t risen.”

 

“He’s dead?”  There was confusion in Nick’s voice this time.

 

“That’s why I am sending this letter and not coming myself.  I owe it to Heath.  He was gut shot.  As I write this, the doctor is telling me he will die within days.  I don’t believe him.  I will stay to do what I can.  I owe Heath Thomson my life.  I will do what I can to make his final days, if indeed they are his final days, as comfortable as possible.  I will wire when I know more.”

 

The room was silent. 

 

“There’s no more?”  Nick mumbled.

 

“Just, Love Gene.”  Jarrod said slowly.

 

 The silence was interrupted by a knock at the door.  Silas answered it. He had been listening in the foyer. 

 

“Mrs. Barkley?”  He hated to bother them.  “This letter just arrived for you.”  He placed it in her hands.  She noted the return address and took a deep calming breath.

 

“Another letter from Gene?”  Audra was hopeful.

 

“No, this is for me.”  She tucked it next to her.

 

Nick rose and made for the door. 

 

“I’ll go with you to see the men.”  Jarrod followed him.

 

“I’m going to town.” 

 

“What?  Nick?  We have to thank the men.”  It was unlike Nick not to put his hands first. 

 

“We need to hear from Gene.  I’m going to send a wire.”

 

“That’s a good idea.  Audra, you ride to town and send a wire to Eugene.  Jarrod and Nick, you go and thank the men.  Make sure there is something extra in their pay and give them some time off.”

 

“Mother!” 

 

“Nicholas!  I am not accustomed to having to ask twice.”

 

“But…”

Her raised eyebrows were enough.  Jarrod guessed at the contents of the letter and also guessed his mother’s desire.  She wanted to be alone.  He wanted nothing more then to read the letter as well but he also wanted current information.  He ushered his siblings out the door.

 

Victoria held the letter in her hands.  She looked at it for a long time.  She debated leaving its seal intact.  Heath must be badly injured.  If he died, would she read the information within?  Did she really want to know the story of her husband’s infidelity?  She knew the answer to her question and the guilt for even thinking it crept into her heart.

 

True Intentions 7

 

It had been too much to consider.  Victoria left the seal on Heath Thomson’s life intact.  She sensed that the letter would contain sorrow and misery and knowing the man was injured filled her with dread and powerful guilt. She retreated to her room clutching the letter in her hand.  She was tempted to get on the next train to San Diego but she resisted.  The mother in her knew that Eugene was growing during this experience.  She didn’t want to charge in and steal his thunder.  She would find strength in her home.

 

“Why are you still here?”  Heath’s voice was quiet and weak.

 

“You need me.”  Eugene was feeling confident.

 

“No, I don’t.”

 

“When you’re ready, we’ll go home together.”

 

“You can go to your home now.”

 

“I can wait.”

 

“Eugene, I ain’t goin’ back with you.”  Heath hoped the truth would encourage the kid to go.

 

“Of course, you are.  Your place is on the Barkley ranch.”

 

Heath laughed at the irony, sending waves of pain through his middle.  “No.  It’s time for me to move on.”

 

“You just get up and move on when you save the boss?”

 

Heath was drifting off.  It was too hard to continue this battle with Eugene.  “Yeah, I do.”  With those simple words, he slept.

 

Eugene watched the man sleep.  It had been three days since the doctor stopped his doom and gloom prognosis for Heath.  It had been a battle.  A bullet to a man’s middle abdomen was serious.  If the stomach was punctured or any other vital organ, the precious fluids caused serious infections that more often then not, killed the victim.  For five days Heath lay in the world between life and death.  Eugene had rarely left his side.  He cared for the man in every way.  He chatted nonstop about his life growing up Barkley.  When there seemed to be no more stories of his youth to tell Heath, he picked up newspapers and read them aloud.  He sensed that if Heath felt alone he would pass.

 

He was dozing off himself, something he frequently did, when he heard someone enter the room.  He paid no mind to the door, as he was used to the doctor checking on them.  It was the rustle of skirt, which alarmed him.

 

“Who is…”  The question died in his throat as he turned to find his mother standing before him.  “Mother!”

 

“Eugene!”  She opened her arms and he went to them.  No matter how old he was, he knew he would never find a more safe and secure place then wrapped in her loving arms.

 

Enveloped by his mother’s love, he pulled back.  “What are you doing here?”

 

“I have left you here by yourself long enough.”

 

“Mother!”

 

She ignored his indignation and looked at the pale man on the bed.  “How is he?”

 

“He’s gonna be fine, Mother.  It’s a miracle.  To be honest, there were times I didn’t expect him to make it.”

 

“But you’ve stayed by his side?”

 

“I couldn’t leave him, Mother.  He saved my life.  If he hadn’t pushed me out of the way, Wallent would have had a direct hit on me.”

 

“You were very brave.  Audra and your brothers are very proud of you.”

 

“It wasn’t me, Mother.  It was him.”  Eugene looked at the sleeping man.

 

“Darling, you aren’t giving yourself enough credit.”  He meant to argue with his mother, but she silenced him with the wave of an arm.  “He’s sleeping.  Come with me and we’ll get some dinner.  You can fill me in on everything.”

 

“I don’t want to leave him.”

 

“Darling, he’s out of danger and sleeping.  I’m sure he would understand if you wanted to spend a little time with your mother.”

 

Gene saw the set of his mother’s chin and knew he had lost.  “What’s your pleasure?”

 

Victoria took Gene’s arm steering him toward the door.  “The café next to the hotel looked charming.”

 

As they enjoyed dessert, Victoria couldn’t help but notice the change in her son.  It even pushed the worries abut Heath Thomson from her mind.  She had fought long and hard with Jarrod over this trip.  She smiled at the memory of her son’s valiant attempt to stop her.  He had almost won.  She had grown quiet considering it all. 

 

“Mother?”

 

“Huh?  Yes, Eugene.  What were you saying?”

 

“I said, what are you thinking about?  You seem a million miles away.”

 

“I’m sorry, Dear.  I guess I was.”  She smiled at him and took his hand in hers.  “I was trying to figure out just what it is about you seems so different.”

 

He smiled.  “Mother!”

 

“No, I’m fairly certain that this has been a good experience for you, despite the trials.”

 

“It has.”

 

“Are you more interested in running the ranch with Nick, now?”

 

“No.  Not at all.”

 

This surprised Victoria.  “Really?  Then it’s to be law with Jarrod?”

 

“No.”

 

“So, you haven’t made up your mind at all then.  You just feel…”

 

Eugene laughed.  It was not often he could perplex his mother.  “Medicine!”

 

Victoria’s eyes smiled with wonder and excitement.  “Medicine?  But…”

 

Eugene was concerned about her question.  “Mother?  Wouldn’t you be proud to have a doctor in the family?”

 

“Oh, Eugene.  Of course!  I just don’t see how a cattle drive could inspire you to study medicine.”

 

“It wasn’t the drive.  It was Heath.”

 

“Heath?”

 

“Yes, both directly and indirectly.  One day on the drive, he was listening to me moan on about my future.  He got a bit mad at me. Later that night, as we waited for Wallent’s attack, we talked more.  He gave me a sound piece of advice.”

 

“What was that?”  Victoria was more then curious as to the life altering advice Heath Thomson might offer her son.

 

“He said his ma once told him a man should do whatever his heart led him to and if it benefited the world in some small way, it would be the right thing.”

 

“Eugene, we have told you this.”  Victoria found herself jealous of this man’s influence over her youngest and most impressionable son.

 

“I know, Mother.  But it just sunk in coming from him and then he got shot trying to save me.”

 

“I still don’t see how that amounts to medical school.”

 

“The doctor was dealing with a bad wagon accident.  He had lots of patients and not a lot of time for Heath.  He talked me through a lot and I took over a lot of his care.  The thing is, Mother.  I loved it.  I mean I didn’t love Heath’s situation. It was so dire, but then we saved him and it felt…  It felt so good, Mother.  I just knew it then.  That’s what was in my heart.  Heath showed me.”

 

Victoria looked at her son.  The passion in his voice and eyes was overwhelming.  Her jealousy forgotten, her pride took over.  “I’m so happy for you and very proud as well.”

 

Eugene stifled a yawn but it couldn’t escape his mother’s eyes.  “You need sleep yourself.”

 

“No, I’m fine.  I need to check on Heath.”

 

“You go rest.  I’ll sit with Heath.”

 

“Mother?  You can’t.”

 

“And why not?”

 

“Well…”

 

“Go!  I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

The sun was streaming in the window when Heath next woke. 

 

“Have some water.”  He felt his head being gently lifted but before he could fully open his eyes, he knew it was someone different.  As his eyes fully focused he was shocked to discover Victoria Barkley. 

 

“Mrs. Barkley?”

 

“Good Morning, Young Man.  Welcome back.  You’ve given us some worry.”

 

“Us?”

 

She laughed softly.  “What worries my son worries us all.”

 

It was Heath’s turn to chuckle softly.  “I suspect Nick hoped I would croak.”

 

The simple statement shocked Victoria.  “I assure you, Mr. Thomson.  My son cares about all his men, especially one who saves his brother’s life.”

 

“I meant no disrespect, Ma’am.”

 

Victoria relaxed.  “None taken.  I understand you and Nick have had a stormy relationship.”

 

“That’s an understatement.  I still ain’t figured out why he let me stay.”

 

“We don’t fire good workers for no reason.  Now, how are you feeling?”

 

“A might better, Ma’am.  Thanks, but you really don’t need to stay with me.  I’ve been telling Eugene that for days.”

 

“When you’re ready to travel, we’ll leave.”

 

“No need to wait.  I won’t be coming back to Stockton, Ma’am.”

 

Victoria was stunned.  She had no idea what to say.  Her guilt immediately returned because deep down she felt a small bit of relief.  The man was going to ride out and leave them alone.  Buried within her was the heart of a lioness, ready and willing to keep her cubs from harm at any cost.  Was this man dangerous?  She had no evidence of that.  Certainly the revelation of his parentage would cause her own children pain, but they would survive it and so would she.  The lioness retreated. 

 

She still wasn’t sure whether he knew about his parentage.  She knew she couldn’t let the situation alone.  She wondered if Jarrod could live without knowing his brother.  No.  He could not.  She was going to fight for her husband’s son out of wedlock to join their family.  The irony wasn’t lost on her but she knew it was right.  “Why is that?”

 

“I don’t belong there.”

 

“Where do you belong?”

 

“Nowhere.”

 

“Everyone belongs somewhere.”  She was stunned to find herself convincing the man to shatter her world. 

 

He looked away from her penetrating gaze.  “Not everyone.”

 

“What would your mother say?”

 

“Ma’am?”  Heath didn’t like the turn of conversation and sought a way out.  “I’m kinda hungry, Ma’am.  Do you think you could ask the doctor to send in some breakfast on the way out?”  He no longer met her eyes.

 

“On my way out?”

 

“I told ya, Ma’am.  You don’t need to stay with me.  Take Eugene and head on to your home.”  He fiddled with the sheets as a distraction.

 

Her words spilled out before she could stop them.  “It can be your home, too.”

 

He turned sharply back to her.  Did she know something?  What was she saying?  Was his father’s wife actually inviting him into her home?  No, he knew he was reading too much into her words.  “I already told ya.”  He now met her eyes head on.  “I’m not coming back to Stockton.”  In a very small voice, he added.  “Anytime soon.  You’re safe.”

 

“What am I safe from?”  Victoria was doing all she could to keep her body from betraying the tension it felt.  Her breaths already struggled to move in and out with regularity. 

 

“Just let me go in peace.”  Heath debated telling her he worked for Crown.  In his mind, he knew she already knew his other truth.

 

“For how long, Heath?”

 

The moment was broken by Eugene’s arrival.  “Excellent, Heath.  You’re looking much better!  Mother, did you get any rest?”

 

Victoria drew in a deep breath.  She knew without looking that even if she sent Eugene away, Heath would say nothing.  “Yes, Dear.  Mr. Thomson had a restful night and I rested as well.  He was just asking about some breakfast.”

 

“I am a step ahead of you.  Muffins and coffee are on the way up from the café.”

 

Heath finally spoke.  “Sounds great.”

 

Eugene laughed.  “Neither for you, but I suspect some chicken broth could be arranged.”

 

Heath groaned.  “Lucky me.”

 

The muffins arrived with broth and all ate silently.  “So, what were you two discussing when I arrived?”  Eugene was innocent of the tension.

 

“I was just letting your mother know I was quitting and that you folks could head home.”

 

“And I’m sure she told you the same as me, nothing doing.  You need to come back and continue to work for us.”

 

Victoria watched Heath closely from behind her coffee cup, looking for some sign.

 

“She did try but she knows you can’t force a man to work for ya.”  Heath faked a yawn hoping both Barkleys would take the hint. 

 

“Eugene, Mr. Thomson is tired.  Let’s let him rest.”

 

Eugene bid Heath goodbye and was ushered out the door by his mother.  Victoria lingered in the doorway watching the bedridden man.  He looked up and caught her eye.

 

“I’m goin’, Ma’am.  I promise.”

 

She wanted to speak but could find no words.  She closed the door behind her wondering if he was true to his word.

 

When she and Eugene returned later that afternoon, they found Heath’s room empty and the bed remade.  Inquiries to the doctor revealed that Heath had left at noon.  After reprimanding the doctor for allowing an obviously unwell man to leave, they searched the town.  They found no trace that the man had ever been there.  His horse was even gone.  It frustrated them both.

 

“I can’t believe he would just up and leave.”  Eugene was obviously worried.

 

“Darling, we couldn’t have forced him to return with us.  He obviously decided he no longer wished to argue over it with us.”  She put her hand around his shoulders, pushing him toward the hotel.  “We’ll head home in the morning.”

 

Little did the Barkleys know that Heath had turned on his best charm with the doctor.  He hadn’t left town, in fact he merely switched rooms.  He had somehow managed to convince the doctor that it was in his best interest to get away from them.  The beleaguered doctor had finally conceded to the deception.  Hearing from the doctor the next morning that the Barkleys had left San Diego, he settled in to rest and recuperate. 

 

He thought long and hard about his decision.  There wasn’t much else he could do.  He had to accept that his wound would keep him out of action for a spell.  As it was, every move caused him pain.  The doctor had offered him powders for the pain but he had no desire to warp his mind.  He had too many things racing through it.  Crown wouldn’t be happy that he was just up and leaving but then again, Crown wouldn’t understand half of his reasons for his actions.  Heath couldn’t think of a plausible reason why he had saved Eugene.  It would have been in Crown’s best interest to let Wallent kill Eugene and take the herd.  There was no way to explain his actions to Crown.  It was simple.  He had failed Crown.  It really didn’t bother him.  He didn’t cotton to the job in the first place but it had put a few extra coins in his pocket and allowed him to observe the family. 

 

He chuckled out loud.  Maybe he should have told Mrs. Barkley and Eugene the real reason he couldn’t return with them.  ‘Crown would kill me.  I didn’t do the job he hired me for and by the way, it was me who shot Nick.”  He could imagine their shocked faces. He quickly forced Eugene’s face from his mind.  He was a good kid and hadn’t deserved to be used in this little game.  No matter what, the kid had stuck by him.  Sure, the kid credited him for his life but Heath knew he owed Eugene the same credit.

 

A chill went down his spine as he reconsidered the conversation with Mrs. Barkley.  If he wanted to, he could assume she might actually know who he was.  Did she know her husband had been unfaithful to her?  Did she know he had a bastard son?  Had she actually invited him to come into her home and live as Tom Barkley’s son?  He shook the idea from his head.  No.  Even if she did know, she merely intended to offer him a job for life.  The best any bastard could expect from his father’s family was a job for life.  He never even considered anything more.

 

He had wanted to learn more about them.  He had spent many years in wonder and many more in anger.  When the truth had been revealed his anger had bubbled over.  He knew in his heart it was the reason for taking the job with Crown.  He knew he would never have just rode into the yard and asked for a job.  Working for Crown had offered him an outlet for his anger, resentment and jealousy.  From the fight at Sample’s on, he knew the Barkleys were decent people.  They were happy and respected for good reason.  Sure, he knew he had the upper hand.  He could make their lives miserable and hurt them as deeply as he had been, growing up as he had.  What good would it do?  It wouldn’t change his past and having a confirmed job at a ranch for the rest of his life wasn’t worth it.  He didn’t think he could be there, daily, watching their wealth and not want a part of it.  No.  He needed to leave them be for now.  He knew given enough time and distance, the anger deep in his heart would recede again and his plan would go on.  He merely had to adjust his schedule.

 

True Intentions 8

 

It was obvious to Victoria that Eugene was very disappointed to have lost his new friend.  She had tried to get him to open up and talk about it but he wouldn’t.  They pushed to get home in as little time as possible.  In the process one of Victoria’s bags became damaged.  As Eugene picked up stray fallen pieces he came across a thick envelope.  He didn’t stop to consider it.  He stuffed it in his saddlebag with a few of his mother’s other items. 

 

They rode into the Barkley yard shortly before the normal dinner hour.  Audra, Jarrod and Nick were just meeting in the parlor as mother and son entered the foyer.

 

“Mother!”  Audra screamed as she ran to her mother’s arms.  “You should have told us you were coming.”

 

“I agree.”  Jarrod and Nick arrived.  Jarrod swept his mother into his arms and Nick moved to pull Eugene into a giant bear of a hug.

 

“Nick!  Stop!  I can’t breathe.”  Eugene managed to save his own life with a little help from Audra. 

 

“Leave him alone, Nick.  It’s my turn to hug him!”  She shoved Nick aside and hugged Gene somewhat less ferociously. 

 

Jarrod had not released his mother from his embrace.  He sensed her nerves and noted that Thomson didn’t appear to be with them.  Nick broke them up.  “Welcome home, Mother.  Did you have a good trip?”

 

“It depends.  We’ll hear all about it after dinner.  You go in and eat.  Eugene and I will clean up, unpack and join you later.”

 

“No.  We can wait, Mother.”  Audra offered.

 

Jarrod, as usual, offered a compromise.  “Unpacking can wait.  Clean up and then come join us.”

 

“It’s a deal!  I hope Silas made a ton of food.  I’m starved.”  Eugene was basking in the joy of his triumphant homecoming.

 

In no time at all they sat down as a family at the table.  Victoria smiled despite herself as she watched her assembled family.  She couldn’t help but feel blessed. 

 

Nick raised his glass toward Eugene and the rest of the family followed suit.  “To my little brother, on his big triumph.  Good job, Kid!”

 

“Here! Here!”  Sounded from around the table. 

 

“You certainly did a huge job, Eugene.  We’re all proud of you.  How about you tell us all about it yourself?”  Jarrod was assuming the paternal role he so often did with all his siblings.

 

“Yeah!  Tell us everything and don’t skimp on the details.”  Nick’s pride was showing through.

 

“No!  There really isn’t anything to tell.  I wrote it all in my letter.”

 

“Letter?  That’s nothing, Boy.  We need to hear it from your lips.”  Nick pushed.

 

Victoria didn’t understand why her youngest son was not taking advantage of this opportunity to shine but knew he needed her support.  “Nicholas, you have all the details.  Eugene and I are tired and simply want to enjoy our homecoming.  Don’t pester him with questions.”

 

“Mother?”

 

“Yes, Audra?”

 

“May I ask one question?”

 

Victoria laughed.  She hadn’t intended to sound so severe.  “Of course!”

 

“Heath?  Surely, he wasn’t ready to travel home with his injuries.”

 

Neither Victoria nor Eugene was quick to answer, both caught up in their own thoughts. 

 

Audra gasped.  “Oh no!  Mother, no!”

 

Nick was also stunned.  “He’s dead?”

 

Victoria recovered first.  “Oh, heavens, no!  He’s fine.  I guess.”

 

“You guess?”  Jarrod looked stricken.  He was flooded with questions.  Had his mother confronted him?  Had he said things that hurt them?

 

Eugene spoke before Victoria could explain.  “He refused to come back with us.  He’s quitting.”

 

“Quitting?”  Jarrod and Nick spoke at the same time.

 

“I knew he’d never last here.”  Nick continued confidently.  “He had the rest of you fooled but I knew he was worthless to us.”

 

“NO!  Don’t you dare speak about him that way, Nick!  He saved my life and he really deserves the credit for saving the herd too.  Don’t you EVER speak ill of him again!”  All were stunned.  They had never seen such passion and anger from Eugene.

 

Nick stammered an apology and Eugene settled down.  Victoria soothed things over.

 

“He decided to move on.  We can’t hold him here and we won’t speak ill of him.”  Her eyes caught Jarrod’s.

 

The rest of the dinner passed smoothly.  Eugene excused himself to unpack.  Nick went outside to check on a horse and Jarrod and the ladies retired to the study.  Jarrod was trying to invent a reason to get time alone with his mother.  He was practically dying to know what had truly happened and at the same time he was somehow saddened to learn he had also just lost a brother he had never known.  He didn’t have to wait long.  Nick came back into the house to find his youngest brother moving numbly down the stairs. 

 

“Eugene?  What’s wrong?  You look like you lost your best friend.”

 

Eugene said nothing but walked right past Nick into the study.  He stopped in the doorway and looked blankly at his mother.  “This is why you came?  And this is why he left, isn’t it, Mother?”  He held up the letter.  “You sent him away?”

 

Victoria shook her head.  “No. No. No.  Eugene.  We…”

 

Nick grabbed the letter and scanned the last page briefly.  His face blanched and he cut his mother off.  “NO!  It can’t be true!  This is a lie, right Mother?”

 

Audra was lost and Jarrod paled.

 

* * * *

Heath continued to heal for an additional couple of weeks.  He had always hated being weakened in any way.  Healing was always an emotional and psychological battle for him.  He was always in battle with his body.  It cried out for rest, yet he fought it tooth and nail.  He wanted to leave and leave soon.  Every day he stayed was another day closer for Crown or the Barkleys.  He figured there was a good chance Crown would let it slip that Heath had worked for the railroad.  No matter what good might have happened, Nick Barkley would then seek his revenge. 

 

Sooner then the doctor wanted, Heath packed up his meager belongings and left San Diego.  He headed south and within days was back in familiar territory.  He crossed the border and rode as hard as his body would allow him.  When he finally reached his destination, he stabled his horse and walked purposefully toward his goal.  He pushed open the door and looked into the normal corner.  She was there, as he knew she would be.  “Lupe!”

 

Lupe and Heath had spent several days getting reacquainted.  Lupe had made it clear when they first met that there would never be a future between them.  At the time Heath hadn’t understood and continually pushed her to marry him.  He was a young kid fresh out of the military hospital.  He hadn’t been able to go home to face his mother.  He found the comfort and solace he needed in her arms.  She was older and wiser and taught him a lot about living again.  Months passed and he had been able to move on and explore his potential.  Occasionally over the years he returned to Lupe’s comforting arms.  She always welcomed him home.  “Mi Amor!“ 

 

Lupe lived in a small village near Rio Blanco, Mexico.  As in the past, Heath knew he would turn to the mines to find some work there when his cash ran out.  He hadn’t actually received his drive pay from the Barkleys so he went back to work earlier then usual.  He hated working in the mines even though he had done so off and on all his life. 

He entered Lupe’s cantina and moved immediately to her table.

 

“Mi Amor!  Did you have a good day?”

 

“As good as any man can have digging in the dirt to line another man’s pocket.”

 

“You should leave.”

 

Heath laughed.  “Yeah, but not yet.”

 

“Too busy watching the pretty senorita.  What is her name?  Teresa?”

 

Now Heath blushed.  “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

 

“Psh!  She eyes you as much as you eye her.”

 

“Don Alfredo ain’t never gonna let his only daughter date the likes of me.”

 

“Sometimes papas can’t control their daughters.”

 

“This one can.”

 

* * *

The Barkleys of Stockton were in shock.  The world that they knew and loved had been rocked to its foundation.  Not only had their father betrayed their mother but a son had also come of it.  A son who knew he was a Barkley and wanted nothing to do with them.  A son who had ridden away from all they might offer him.  Each member wondered however, just what it was they might have offered him.

 

As with many previous evenings the after dinner conversation revolved around the blond man who came so briefly into their lives and left just as quickly.

 

“Any word from the Pinkertons?”  Nick swirled the amber liquid in his glass asking the question of the air.

 

“No, Nick.  It is much too soon.  He didn’t leave an easy trail.”  Jarrod seemed tired of the conversation already.  His tone was dull and lifeless.

 

“But we know he was still in town.  The doctor did confess to hiding him.”  Eugene seemed to be the only member of the family optimistic of finding Heath.

 

“Maybe it’s for the best.”  Jarrod said out loud what many were thinking.

 

“How can you say that?”  Audra chimed in.  “We have a brother.  He needs to be here with us.”

 

“Why?”  Nick questioned her absentmindedly.

 

“He’s…”  Audra lost her words and Nick filled his in.

 

“Why have him here?  I think it’s best we call this whole search off.  He doesn’t want us and we don’t want him.”

 

“Says you, Nick.”  Eugene stood to emphasize his point in his brother’s eyes.  “He proved to us that he was one of us.”

 

“Careful, Gene.”  Jarrod moved to stand between his brothers.  “He was working for Crown the whole time.”

 

“Says Crown.  There’s no proof.”  Eugene’s defense of the man was admirable. 

 

“And as the family’s lawyer, I must point out there is no conclusive proof he is who he says he is.”

 

Victoria finally spoke.  “He has never made any claims, Jarrod.  I started this.”

 

“Just why did you start this, Mother?”  Nick felt the need to push her for an answer.  He needed to understand.  “Why would you want to doubt father’s fidelity?  Why would you scorn this family?”

“Scorn the family?  What scorn, Nicholas?”

 

“FATHER WAS UNFAITHFUL TO YOU!  TO ALL OF US!”

 

“And most of all to that boy!  You all read the report.  You know the life that man had.  He did nothing to deserve it.  He was born.  If you want to talk about scorn, you find HIM!”

 

Victoria silenced her children.  She hadn’t said much on the subject in all this time. 

 

“Mother, we just don’t know what to do.”  Jarrod’s voice now relayed the confusion they all felt.

 

“I don’t either.  I don’t think Heath knows what to do either.  That’s why we have to find him.  No matter what is going to happen, he needs to be part of the decision.”

 

“What do you mean, Mother?  No matter what is going to happen?  Surely, you can’t be thinking of…”  Nick couldn’t even finish his sentence.

 

“Thinking of what?”  Eugene and Audra spoke together.

 

Nick finished his sentence.  “You can’t seriously be thinking of bringing him into this family?”

 

“No, I can’t do that.  Only you children can.”

 

“Mother, even if he had concrete proof of his father, he has no legal rights to anything Barkley.  Surely he knows this.  That’s why he left.”  Jarrod didn’t understand his mother any better then Nick did at this moment.

 

“Perhaps he has no legal rights, but he has moral rights and we have a moral obligation.”

 

“No, Mother.  We don’t.  We owe him nothing.”

 

“Are you sure?  If you were all so confident, why do we continue to question what is best?  We all know what has to be done.”

 

Jarrod’s voice was quiet.  “So we find him and set him up with a portion of father’s estate.”

 

No one answered.

 

Another month went by and still the Barkleys found nothing.  Tensions continued to run high and everyone needed some distraction.  Nick and Jarrod were sitting in the garden one evening, smoking cigars and sipping drinks. 

 

“He really would like me to come check things over.”  Nick looked at his older brother to study his reaction.

 

“You should go.  It will be good to get away for awhile.”  Jarrod replied blankly.

 

“Duke can handle things around here.  I think I might, but…”

 

“But what?”

 

“But I’d really rather not go alone.”

 

Jarrod knew where Nick was going.  “No, Nick.  I need to be here in case word comes.”

 

“How long are we going to wait?  Jarrod, we haven’t found a thing.  It’s time to give up.”

 

“What would mother say if she heard you?”

 

“She’d say, go with Nick.”  Victoria had been observing the two from the doors.

 

“Mother!”  Jarrod hadn’t wanted her to side with Nick.  He hated when that happened.

 

“Darling, you both need a break from all this.”

 

“But…”

 

“No, buts.  We can’t continue to live like this, always on edge.  We need to move on.  If we find Heath, we’ll deal with it then.  Until then, we have to go on.”

 

Nick smiled broadly.  He knew he had won.  “So, when do you want to leave, Big Brother?”

 

Jarrod groaned.  “How about the day after tomorrow?”

 

Nick sprang up.  “Sure thing.  I’ll get right on it.”

 

“Oh, Nick?  Are we riding the whole way to Mexico?”

 

Nick laughed.  “Of course, Brother Dear, why?  You worried about something other then your lily-white hands?”

 

Jarrod groaned again and then hit on his answer.  “As a matter of fact, I was.  Coco isn’t as young as she once was.  It’s a long way for her.”

 

Nick was stunned.  He had no response but to mumble.

 

* * *

“Mi Amor!  I do so appreciate it when you clean up before you come to me.”  In this harsh world, the smell of soap always smelled good to a woman.

 

“I know, Lupe.  Ya know I’d do anything for you.”  Heath slid into the seat next to her and a beer was immediately served to him.

 

“Long day?”

“Yep.”  He drew in a long drink of the cold brew.  “The deeper we go, the less safe it is.  I been telling the bosses that those shoring timbers ain’t gonna hold the weight of that mountain, but don’t no one want to listen to me.”

 

“Surely, Don Alfredo would listen?”

 

“No.  Can’t get to him.  It’s as if the managers are shielding him.”

 

“Can you talk to him through Teresa?”

 

“Nope, she’s gone to Mexico City for a couple weeks.”

 

“You need to be safe, Mi Amor.”

 

He leaned in and stole a kiss.  “Anything you say!”

 

“Anything?”

 

He spread a few more kisses along her jaw line.  “Anything.”  He stopped abruptly.  “As soon as I get some grub in this belly of mine.”

 

Lupe laughed at him.  “Typical Gringo!”

 

* * *

 

“Don Alfredo, your hospitality is as gracious and beautiful as your daughter.”  Nick was a tiny bit drunk and very boisterous but he was not alone.

 

“Gracias!  She is a beauty, my daughter.  She is chased by more gringos then I’d like.”

 

“Really?  I didn’t know there were many gringos in the area.”  Jarrod’s interest was piqued.

 

“Just enough to worry an old man, Señor.  We have a few who come down from the States to work here.”

 

“I had no idea.  Forgive my bluntness, but why would a man come down to Mexico to work in the mines.  There is plenty of mining in the States.”

 

“Why does any man flee a country?  Mostly to hide out.”

 

A cold shudder passed through Nick’s body at the comment.  He forced the notion from his mind.  Had Heath escaped to Mexico? 

 

The same shudder passed through Jarrod.  ‘Damn it!  Why hadn’t we thought of that?  He had come here before.  The report told us as much.’

 

“Don Alfredo, is there a place I might send a wire?”  Jarrod and Nick exchanged knowing glances.

 

“Unfortunately, it is not local.  It is about an hours ride from here.  Is there some way I can be of assistance?”

 

“No, thank you.  I just thought of a wire I should have sent.” 

 

Nick knew Jarrod would wire the Pinkerton’s to use their connections in Mexico.  It was a long shot, but one they had to explore.

 

* * *

“Mother?” 

 

“Hmm?  Yes, Dear?” 

 

“You’re somewhere else.  Missing the boys?”

 

“Audra, of course I do.  I always miss my children when they’re away from home.”

 

“Are you proud of Gene?”

 

“For going to medical school?  Certainly.  Doctor Barkley has a very nice ring to it.  I even caught Gene talking to Howard about going into practice here in Stockton.”

 

“Then why are you so quiet?”

 

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t know I was.”

 

“Were you thinking about him?”

 

“Heath?”

 

“Well, actually, I meant Father.”

 

“Your father?”

 

“Yes, do you think he’d be proud of Gene’s decision?”

 

Victoria smiled at her daughter.  “I know he is.”

 

“Do you think he’s proud of him?”  Victoria knew whom she meant.

 

“He hasn’t had an easy life. I am sure he’s done some things that wouldn’t make a parent proud, but yes, I think he’d be proud.  Your father loved his children.”

 

Audra’s voice grew quiet.  “It’s because of him that Gene wants to be a doctor.  Isn’t that something?”

 

“He was a quiet man who had a big impact on this family, whether he knew it or not.”

 

“Do you really want to find him, Mother?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Why?”

 

“You have to ask?”

 

“Yes, Mother, I do.  I guess I don’t understand why you would want to find him.”

 

Victoria thought about her words for a few moments.  “I’m not sure either.  I…”

She couldn’t continue.

 

“Please, Mother, I know it must be hard.  Why?”

 

“I’m selfish.”

 

“What?  That makes no sense.  If you were selfish, you would send him away.  There is every chance he can destroy this family.  At the very least, he can shatter the image many people hold of Father.  You know they want to put a statue of Father in the square.”

 

Victoria smiled, a sense of calm coming over her.  “First of all, he can’t destroy this family.  And yes, I am selfish.  When I look at my children, I see a part of their father in each one.  I can’t help but think that Heath will bring me yet another part of him.  I suppose that doesn’t make any sense.”

 

Audra smiled.  “No, it does.  It makes sense to me.  That’s why I liked him so much, I suppose.”  Audra stopped then blurted out.  “Oh Mother!  You must have been so worried when he took me to the dance!”

 

Both women laughed.

 

True Intentions 9

 

Nick was sitting alone outside watching the night sky.  Jarrod hated to interrupt him, but felt compelled.  “Nick?”

 

Nick’s peace was startled.  “Jarrod?  Whatcha need?”

 

Jarrod smiled, offering Nick a drink, hoping to disarm him. “Nothing.”

 

Nick eyed his older brother suspiciously.  “Nothing?”

 

Jarrod chuckled.  “Well…”

 

“Ah ha!  I knew it.  What is it?”

 

“Do you want me to send that wire tomorrow?”

 

“What?  Of course.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Why would you even ask?”

 

“You hate him.”

 

Nick was silent.  “I never hated him.  I didn’t trust him and now it seems I have good reason.”

“Good reason to not trust him?  I must argue that.”

 

“He deceived us!”

 

“Perhaps.  Can you blame him?  What would have happened if he rode in and simply told us who he was?”

 

Nick was silent for a time.  “I’da busted his chops.”

 

“So, do you want me to send the wire?”

 

Nick groaned, “Yes.”

 

Jarrod was frustrated.  He needed to get Nick to open up and it wasn’t happening.  “Nick!”

 

“What do you want from me?”  Nick turned fiercely on his brother.

 

“I need you to talk about this.  I need to know what you really feel.  The whole family needs to know.”

 

“Don’t you get it?  I DON’T KNOW!” 

 

“Yes, you do.  You’re lying. Say it, Nick.  Say it!”

 

“Say what?  What do you want me to say?  I have a new brother?  A brother I can’t trust?  A brother, who’s very existence shames our family and the memory of our father?  A brother who most likely worked for our biggest enemy?  WHAT DO YOU WANT from me?”  Nick was quickly losing his zeal.

 

“What else?”

 

Nick bit his lower lip. 

 

“Nick, holding it in isn’t gonna help.  We have to be ready for him when we find him.”

 

Nick again set his shoulders.

 

“We will find him.  We will deal with this.  He is a Barkley!”

 

That was too much for Nick.  “He’s no Barkley!”

 

“He is, Nick.”  Jarrod suddenly saw his brother through new eyes.  “That’s it isn’t it?”

 

“What?”

 

“He’s a Barkley.”

 

“I told ya, he ain’t no Barkley and no matter what happens he’ll never bear the name.”

 

“He’s earned it as much as we have.”

 

“No!” 

 

The anguish in Nick’s voice bothered Jarrod.  For the first time, he wondered if there truly was no hope for a relationship between the two.  Jarrod softened his voice.  “What are you afraid of, Nick?”

 

“AFRAID?”

 

“Why is it you just can’t accept him?  This isn’t just Father’s affair.  There is more to it.”

 

As if Nick had heard nothing, he went on.  “He doesn’t belong here.  He doesn’t want us.  Why are we forcing this?  If he wanted to be a Barkley, he would have stayed and fought.  A Barkley would fight!”

 

“Yep, you’re right.  He’s not a fighter.  He didn’t work in the mines at six, get kicked out of school, go to war, survive Carterson, fight at Sample’s farm, save Gene on the drive, twice?  Or leave town to not cause Mother anguish?  Hell, he even took all your pressure as a hand.  He’s no fighter.  He’s done nothing to earn the title of Barkley.  After all, he wasn’t born to it like we were.”

 

Nick practically whimpered.  “Stop it.  Just stop it!”

 

“What is it, Nick?”

 

“He’s good.”  Nick’s voice was so quiet, Jarrod had to lean in to hear him.  “He works a ranch as if it was a natural part of him.  Gene loves him.  Hell, Audra loves him.  You’re all just chomping at the bit to welcome him in.”  He took in a deep cleansing breath.  “Father would have loved him.”  

 

Jarrod knew just what that cost Nick and dared a response. “Father loved us all.  You’re right. He would have loved Heath, too.”  He paused.  “That’s no reason to hate him, Nick.”

 

“You think I’m jealous, don’t you?”

 

“No.  I think you are as hurt as we all are.  None of us has the answers.”

 

“What if he wants to run the ranch?”

 

“First of all, the ranch is yours.  You’re elder.  Secondly, we don’t even know if he would stay.”

 

“Are we inviting him to stay?”

 

“I thought so.”

 

“No avoiding it then?”

 

“No.”

 

“I remember wondering how Mother and Father were gonna have enough love for Eugene and Audra when they came along.”

 

“They did.”

 

“But Father isn’t here.  It would fall to us to love him.”

 

“You don’t have to.”

 

In a voice barely above a whisper.  “He’s my brother.”

 

The two brothers sat in emotionally exhausted silence.  The moon had moved across the sky before Nick spoke again.

 

“So we find him.  Do we fight to keep him with us?”

 

“You said it.”

 

“What did I say?”

 

“He’s our brother.  Would you keep me?”

 

“Knowing what I know now?”  Nick grinned at Jarrod, who swatted his younger brother.  “And what’s this ‘elder’ business?”

 

* * *

“Chavez!  I mean to see him NOW!”  Heath’s anger was palpable.

 

“No.  Don Alfredo has no need to see you.  He has important guests.  If you are worried, you talk to me!”

 

“I have talked to you.  You refuse to do anything.”

 

“There is nothing to do.  You are wrong.”

 

“I ain’t wrong.  Those timbers are gonna give and the mountain is gonna come down on all those men.”

 

“I disagree.”

 

“Maybe you’d care more if I mentioned how that mountain was gonna come down on your gold.  You think I don’t know how you been skimming?”

 

“Señor.  Get back to work.”

 

“Whatcha gonna do? Fire me?”

 

“If I do, remember, you won’t get paid for the month.”

 

Heath grumbled. He couldn’t afford to lose a month’s wages.  He turned to go.  Chavez grabbed his arm.

 

“It’s best you keep your mouth shut.  You know nothing.”

 

“If that mountain comes down, you’ll lose everything.  Just remember, I warned you.”

 

Just as Chavez was about to release Heath, the door to the inner office began to open.  Chavez quickly shoved Heath out the door and closed it behind him. 

 

Don Alfredo noted the action.  “Chavez?  Anything wrong?”

 

“No, Señor!  Just a gringo making trouble.”

 

“Trouble?”  It was Jarrod who spoke.

 

“No, Señor.  No problems, just whining.  Gringo’s do that.”

 

“Chavez, these are Señors Barkley.  They are co-owners of the mine.”

 

“Si, you have mentioned them before.”  Chavez turned to the brothers.  “Do you find everything satisfactory?”

 

“Si, Señor Chavez.  You and Don Alfredo have done a fine job.”

 

“Oh, no, Señor.  I am but only a worker for Don Alfredo.”

 

Jarrod laughed.  “Well, he gives you more credit.  Thank you.”  Jarrod turned to Nick and Don Alfredo.  “I’ll be off.  See you later this afternoon.”

 

The four men moved to the patio outside the office.  Nick couldn’t help but notice the blond head moving into the mine entrance, but he was too far away for much detail.  He pushed the thought from his mind.  There was no way the man they’d been hunting for months could be here under their very own noses.

 

Several hours later, Nick scanned the horizon for the figure of his returning brother.  He couldn’t explain it, but he was on edge.  In short time, he was rewarded with the form of an approaching rider.  He waved a greeting and it was returned.  Suddenly, the ground began to rumble.  Nick’s first thought was earthquake.  As the earth seemed to settle, screams could be heard from within the mine and a huge cloud of dust came bellowing out.  Men on the outside immediately sprung into action.

 

Nick and Don Alfredo ran to the entrance, helping men get away.  Chavez appeared from inside. 

 

“How bad is it?”  Nick yelled above the chaos.

 

“Too soon to tell.  We must wait for the dust to clear.”

 

Nick angrily tied his bandana around his face.  “There’s no time to wait!  Get in there.  Men will certainly need our help.”

 

“Si, Señor!”

 

 

As Nick and Jarrod prepared to go into the mine, they were stopped by a blur crashing into Chavez.  Chavez did his best to fight off the attack and the Barkleys attempted to pull the man off as Don Alfredo called for a cease.

 

Heath didn’t realize who had pulled him off.  He was too intent on Chavez to care.  “I told you this would happen but you were too worried about your money.”

 

Nick and Jarrod didn’t recognize the man they held either, he was too covered in soot.  Don Alfredo stepped in between Chavez and Heath.  “What are you talking about?”

 

“I told him the timbers weren’t gonna hold.”

 

“He did?  And isn’t it ironic that he survived and accuses me?  I didn’t have enough time to do anything.  He did this.  He set this up!”   Chavez was desperate.   Men had started to look his way. 

 

Nick let his grip lax and looked more closely at the man.  The voice had sounded familiar.  “Thomson?”

 

Heath was equally stunned to see Nick and Jarrod Barkley behind him.  “What the hell are you doing here?  Never mind!”  He turned to Don Alfredo.  “Chavez has known for weeks that this was going to happen.  He refused to do anything.”  

 

“Is this true?”

 

“No.  He makes trouble.”

 

“We don’t have time for this.  There are men in there who need help.”

 

Four men went into the shaft.  Don Alfredo stayed outside to coordinate rescue efforts.  As they worked their way down, they met men coming out.  Jarrod tried to have a conversation with Heath as they moved forward in the dim light.

 

“Have you been here the whole time?  We’ve had half the Pinkerton force looking for you.”

 

Heath stopped.  “This is no time to talk, Counselor.  Men are dying.”

 

Jarrod shook his head.  “I’m sorry.   We’ve…  Well, we’ve been worried about you.”

 

“Why?”

 

Jarrod was at a loss for words.  “Because…  You know why.”

 

“I don’t need anything from you…”

 

Jarrod cut him off.  “I think you do.  And I think the rest of the family deserves a chance to need something from you.”

 

Heath was angry.  He had no desire to deal with the Barkleys again.  “DAMN IT!  Men are dying down there.  That’s a lot more important then easing your guilty conscience.”

 

Heath moved further down the narrowing shaft.  It was getting harder and harder to move through the debris.  As they stumbled upon bodies, they did their best to free the living.  All too often, they found corpses.  One young man’s skull, Heath thought his name was Diego, was crushed.  His face horribly distorted and the back of his head, obviously crushed beneath a rock.  Further down from Diego, the group came across a blocked passage.  They worked together, carefully opening a path.  On the other side, they found four men.  Jarrod and Nick moved to help the men out and Chavez moved even further down the shaft with Heath.

 

“You know you caused this.”

 

“I don’t really care.  I have enough money to move on and you have no proof of your accusation.”

 

The walls around them began to rumble again and the men dove to avoid falling rocks and timbers.  It was a mild collapse, but worried both men enough to hurry.

 

“You sound pretty confident.”

 

Heath couldn’t see the smile on Chavez’s face.  He was clearing a new path.  “Oh, I am, Señor.  I am.”

 

Heath cleared a hole and wedged his body through.  On the other side, he found a half conscious man.  “We’ve got a survivor here.”

 

“Send him through.”

 

Heath helped the man move into the tunnel he had formed.  On the other side, Chavez questioned the injured man.  “Is there anyone else farther down?”

 

“No.”  Was all the man could muster before succumbing to unconsciousness. 

 

Heath was pulling himself back through.  “Let’s get him out of here.”

 

“I will do so.”

 

Heath moved to slip under the injured man’s arm on one side but stopped when he heard an all too familiar click. 

 

“I do not think you will be helping him, Señor.”  Chavez knew he couldn’t fire more then once, so he drove the gun down on Heath’s head, stunning him.  He pushed away carrying the bulky weight of the unconscious man.  As he moved away from Heath, the tunnel began to echo with the voices of the returning Barkleys.  Chavez knew he had to act quickly.  He began to shout, causing rocks to slide, and in the chaos, he fired his gun.

 

Nick’s arm reached out to stop Jarrod.  “Did you hear that?”

 

“Sounded like gun fire.  Who would be stupid enough to fire a gun in an unstable shaft?  He could bring the whole mountain down.”

 

“Let’s go find out.”  They hurried as fast as they could, meeting up with Chavez.

 

“Vamanos!  The whole thing is coming down.” 

 

“Wait!  Where’s Thomson?”  Nick asked.

 

“And what was that gun shot?”  Jarrod added.

 

“He is dead.  He attacked me and I had to shoot him.  He did this you see.”  He paused only a moment, worried they weren’t believing him.  “We must go!”

 

Jarrod looked at Nick.  “Who do you believe?”

 

Nick answered by continuing down the shaft toward Heath.  Jarrod followed.  They fought tumbling debris the whole way.  It pelted their bodies, causing cuts and deep bruises but neither noticed it.

 

Nick stopped short and waved his torch toward the figure lying on the ground.  The site before them terrified them both. 

 

Heath lay on his back.  Several smaller boulders covered his lower body.  Nick and Jarrod made quick work of freeing it.  His right arm however, was smashed underneath a large boulder. 

 

Heath had come round and managed to take stock of his situation.  Moving his free hand, he arched his body until he could pull his knife from the sheath in his boot. 

 

Nick laid a hand on Heath’s chest to settle him.  “Hold still.  We’ll get more help to move this thing off ya.”

 

Jarrod understood.  “I’ll be right back with more men.”  He left.

 

“Won’t work.”  Heath’s voice betrayed his pain.

 

“Damn.  And you’re Tom Barkley’s son?  Where the hell is that stubbornness I saw on the ranch?”

 

From where it came from, Heath would never know.  “You was lookin’ in a mirror.”

 

Nick laughed and so did Heath, which led to a coughing fit.  Rocks again showered down upon the two men.  Nick leaned over Heath, attempting to shelter him from further abuse.

 

“No time.  Go!”

 

“I ain’t leavin’ ya here.”

 

“Gotta do it.”

 

Nick knew what Heath wanted and refused.  “Ain’t gotta do nothin’!  You just hush and wait for Big Brother!”

 

Heath moved his free arm again.  He held the knife at the base of the rock, which pinned his arm, just below the elbow. 

 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

 

“Can’t wait for a Doc to do it.”

 

“Ain’t no body cuttin’ off any arms.”

 

Again more rocks began to fall on them.

 

Heath pleaded.  “We gotta get out.  It’s the only way.  This mountains gonna come down on us at any second.”  He plunged the knife into his arm, screaming at the pain.

 

Nick held the knife still stopping the rocking motion Heath had begun.  “STOP IT!”

 

“Nick.  Please.” 

 

Nick was shocked to hear his first name.  “No!”

 

“Nick, I been workin’ in a mine since I was six.  Even then I made myself one promise…”

 

Nick cut him off.  “Find your family?”

 

Heath coughed, ignoring Nick’s words.  “I wasn’t gonna die in some godforsaken dark mine shaft.  Get me out, Please!”

 

 

True Intentions 10

 

There was a small part of Nick, as with all humans, so deep inside him that it hardly ever had the ability to rear its head that wanted Heath to die.  All the problems would end.  There would be no public shame for his family.  Yet, looking in to the pained eyes of the man who was his brother, he saw a part of his father and he would never betray his father.  That part of him would remain buried as always.  “Ya Idiot!  Ya gotta make a tourniquet first, else you’re gonna bleed to death.”  Nick took his bandana and began to tie it tightly around Heath’s upper arm.

 

“Saright.”  Heath whispered.

 

As he worked, Nick replied.  “What’s alright?”

 

“Dyin’.”

 

“No, it ain’t.”

 

“Saves us all a lot of grief.”

 

Nick was dreading his next move, but didn’t know if Heath would have the strength to work quickly enough to cut his own arm off.  Nick would have to do it.  He held the handle of the knife and moved as quickly as he could through sinew, muscle and finally bone.  Heath’s screams stopped as he fell into oblivion. 

 

“You freed him?”  Jarrod then saw what had been done and gasped.  “Nick!”

 

“No choice.  Now, let’s get him out of here.”  Nick refused to acknowledge further what he had had to do.

 

Jarrod was mesmerized by the site of the bloody stump of an arm hanging before him and yet knowing there had been no choice.  “We have to stop the bleeding.”

 

“It’s too much blood for a bullet.”

 

“Gonna have to cauterize another way.”

 

“How?”

 

“Where’s the knife?”

 

Nick gestured with his head.  He had left the knife lying on the ground, not wanting this reminder with him.  Jarrod retrieved it and immediately stuck it in the flame of the torch, praying there would be enough heat to at least slow the bleeding.  The ground rumbled and more debris fell.

 

“Hurry, Jarrod!”

 

“I’m trying.”  Jarrod could see the slight red glow to the blade and quickly stuck it on the end of the stump.  Both men gagged at the smell of burning flesh. 

 

“Again!  It wasn’t enough.”  Nick cradled the unconscious man a little closer, sickened to be inflicting such inhumane pain.

 

Jarrod repeated his steps and soon, enough of a burn was created that the blood flow was minimal.  Again, rocks rained down around them and they carried their brother as gently as possible toward daylight. 

 

Don Alfredo sensed the demise of the shaft before it actually happened.  He turned from the relief efforts to watch the mine entrance.

 

Through falling rocks and timbers, Jarrod and Nick carried their brother forward.  The whole time praying they would all make it out.  The increasing light told them they were closer, but the increase in rumble from deep within the mountain continued to worry them.   As if an avalanche from within was pushing them out, they flew out of the shaft into the sunlight, engulfed by a cloud of dust.  The roar of the final closing of the shaft behind them overwhelmed everyone.

 

Don Alfredo stood still, hardly breathing, watching the dust cloud abate, and praying the Barkleys would somehow survive.  As the dust cleared, he saw three figures lying in the dirt.  Two coughed and sputtered, freeing their congested lungs.  The third lay motionless.

 

Jarrod was the first to notice Heath’s stillness.  “Nick!”  He pointed to Heath.

 

Nick pulled the man into his arms, back up and began to pound on his back.  Jarrod willed the man to cough, knowing they needed to clear his lungs as well.  Nick pounded with ferocity.  “Damn you!  COUGH!  You ain’t dyin’ on me now!”

 

Don Alfredo approached the group.  Chavez also watched them.  Each man had a different goal.  The tension in the air was thick.  Finally a scratchy cough came from prone lips, followed by another and another.  While one group of men felt a wave of relief, one man slipped away unnoticed.

 

“Where’s the doctor?”  Jarrod demanded.

 

“We have none.”  Don Alfredo felt very small at that moment.

 

“Who’s treating the other men?”

 

“The women of the area are very capable.”

 

Nick cut in.  “He needs a doctor.”

 

Don Alfredo decided in that moment that honesty would be best.  “Señors, you will have to travel far to find anyone able to treat these wounds.  I think it is best we settle him in and make his passing as comfortable as possible.”

 

“NO!  You don’t understand.  This man is our brother.  He will not die!”  Nick was filled with passion.

 

“Señor?”  It was obvious that Don Alfredo was stunned.  “I had no idea.”

 

“Please, Don Alfredo, it is a long story.  We will do anything we can to save him.”  Jarrod attempted to calm the emotional environment.

 

“Señor, although I appreciate that this man means something to you, look at him.  He has lost an arm.  This injury is serious.  Even if he survives the blood loss and infection, what will he do with only one arm?  What life will he have?  Let him go.”

 

“How dare you?  Jarrod just told you.  We will do whatever is necessary.”  Nick turned to some men nearby who were watching the exchange.  “Go get a wagon and your best horses.”  The men didn’t move.  “NOW!”  They didn’t even wait for a nod from Don Alfredo and left.

 

Nick turned to Don Alfredo.  “Go to your house and bring us all the mattresses and pillows we can fill a wagon with.”

 

“Señor!  You can’t be thinking…”

 

“YES!  He is.  Now kindly do as he asked!”  Jarrod backed his brother’s unspoken plan completely.

 

Seeing that there was nothing he could do at the moment, Nick tried to calm his nerves.  He relived the experience of cutting the arm over and over again.  It was if he had left his body and was watching himself do it over and over again.  The bile rose into his throat.  He leaned over and retched, emptying his stomach. 

 

He felt Jarrod’s firm hand on his shoulder.  “You had no other choice.  I’m proud of you.  I don’t know if I could have done it.”

 

Nick looked pasted his elder brother at his prone younger brother.  “I only hope I don’t live to regret it.”

 

Jarrod turned Nick to face him.  “You won’t.  I promise.”

 

In short time, the wagon was filled with soft mattresses and pillows and Heath was laid within.  While they waited, Jarrod and Nick cleaned and dressed his wounds as best they could.  His lost arm was not his only injury.  He had severe bruises everywhere and his left leg was broken.  They set it and splinted it.  Both men forced the bile back down their throats as they worked on his arm stump.  Despite the cauterizing, it still seeped blood.  They were somewhat relieved by the small groans Heath made.  They only hoped, he would continue to fight.

 

They gathered necessary supplies and headed north as soon as possible, leaving Don Alfredo to handle the remains of the mine and bury the dead.  They promised they would return when they could.  They were blessed with a bright night and Nick drove the wagon late into it.  Jarrod finally called for a halt. 

 

“Nick, we need to stop!”

 

“Jarrod, I can go further.”

 

“It’s not about you.  It’s about him.  It will be easier for him if we stop to change his bandages and get some water into him.”

 

Nick pulled the wagon to a stop near a small stream.  He quickly dismounted and ran to the stream to fill his canteen with fresh water.  Returning, he saw quickly why Jarrod had demanded the stop.  Heath face was flushed with fever and blood was weeping from the bandaged arm.  “How is he?”

 

Jarrod didn’t answer the question.  “Hand me the bandages.  We need to change this.”

Jarrod used his knife to cut away the old bandages and dabbed at the ugly wound with a clean cloth.”

 

“Didn’t one of them women give us some salve?”  Nick looked through the bundles.

 

“Yes, in that one.”  Jarrod pointed to a satchel.  Nick opened it and handed Jarrod the jar.

 

Jarrod gulped, dipping a corner of the cloth into the ointment.  He spread it liberally onto the wound.  Heath moaned at the onslaught.  Jarrod prayed he would fall to oblivion again and be spared this.  His prayers were rejected.  Heath opened his eyes, staring at the inflictor of pain.  He said nothing but stared up at the sky.  Jarrod ignored the anguished eyes and began to apply a fresh, clean dressing. 

 

Nick maneuvered his way behind Heath and slipped his arm under his head.  “Here, drink this.”

 

Heath accepted a few small sips.  “Thanks.”  His voice was barely above a whisper.

 

“You need more.”

 

Heath shook his head minutely and mumbled.  “Ain’t worth it.”

 

“Shut up and drink.  We’re gonna move on soon.  It can’t be too far for a doctor.”  Nick pushed the water again.

 

“No.  Ain’t gonna make it.  Don’t try.”  Heath was distraught, but no one really knew which situation bothered him more, the injury or relying on the Barkleys.

 

Jarrod broke in.  “Heath, you have every chance to make it.  Drink the water.”

 

Heath managed a small chuckle.  “I thought Nick was the bossy one.”  He lost his half smile.  “Ain’t no place in the world for a one armed cowboy, especially a bastard one.”

 

Jarrod was about to say he wasn’t right, but Nick cut him off.  “Then why the hell did you make me do it?  If you was plannin’ on dying anyway, we should’ve just left ya in that mine.  Don’t think what I did in there I would’ve done for just anyone.  Damn ingrate!”

 

“Nick!”  Jarrod hissed.

 

“Didn’t ask you for more then gettin’ me outa mine.  Didn’t wanna die there.”  Heath was half moaning through his words.

 

“Hell!  This was all for nothing.  See, Jarrod.  He ain’t no Barkley.  He’s a no good liar.”

 

“Nick!”  Jarrod was growing angry at Nick’s treatment of Heath.

 

“Don’t ‘Nick’ me!  If he really was a Barkley, he wouldn’t give up.  Stop fussing with him.  We can leave him by that tree over there and head home.”

 

“NICK…”  Jarrod’s tirade was cut off by Heath’s soft voice.

 

“Why you wastin’ time trying to rile me?”

 

Nick smiled.  “We’ve been searchin’ for you for some time now.  I ain’t about to see all that go for waste.  You’re our brother and this is what we do.”

 

“Rile each other?”  The slight drawl was soft and slow.

 

Jarrod finally chuckled.  “All too often.”

 

Heath was losing the battle to stay awake.  His attempt to appear strong in front of these men was draining him quickly.  “Ain’t no use for a one armed…”  He drifted off.

 

Nick finished his words.   “Cowboy.”  He brushed the damp hair from Heath’s forehead.  “But we’ll find something for ya.  You’ve done enough.  Fought far too long.  I suspect maybe you can just sit back and enjoy being in the Barkley family.”  He paused and looked at Jarrod, who met his eyes and then continued.  “Fight on, Little Brother.  We’ll find a use for ya.”

 

***

 

Jarrod pushed the drape back from the window.  Barstow, California was the first city they came to that had a doctor they thought worthy of the task of saving their brother.  They had found other doctors, but they all gave Heath up for dead.  So for two days, they did what they could for Heath as they moved north.  Here, they came across Doctor Mackin who agreed there was hope.  For three more days, they slept little and waited on the desperately sick man.  There were so many times when it seemed they would lose him.  They were all exhausted. 

 

“The fever is down.”  Dr. Mackin expected more joy.

 

Nick grumbled from a chair in the corner as Jarrod turned from the window.  “For good?”

 

“We can only hope.  I’d like to get some broth into him.  He needs strength.”

Nick stood up and stretched.  “Give me a bowl.  I’ll get it into him.”

 

The doctor laughed.  He had learned early on not to challenge this man.  He was determined if nothing else.  “I’ll send it up.”

 

Jarrod moved to Heath’s bedside, resting his palm on the blond’s brow.  “It is down.  Maybe he’ll wake up.”

 

“He needs his rest.”

 

“Nick, since when don’t you want him to wake up?”

 

“I been thinking about it, about him.”

 

“And?”

 

“I think we ought to try and get him home before he recovers.”

 

“What?”  Jarrod was stunned.  “Why?”

 

“He’s stubborn.”

 

“And?”

 

“You heard him.  He don’t see much future for himself.  I figure if we get him home and surround him by Barkleys we might be able to help him.”

Jarrod chuckled.  “You don’t think you and I are enough Barkley to handle one of him?”

 

Nick was serious.  “No.  I don’t.  He responds better to Gene and Audra.  He’ll need them.”

 

Jarrod then realized how serious Nick was.  “It will be hard on him to move him too early.”

 

“Yep, but losing an arm’ll be hard on him, too.”

 

The doctor returned carrying a large tray.  On it was more then broth.  There were two steaming cups of coffee and some biscuits.  “Nourishment for everyone!”

 

The brothers gratefully accepted the coffee, sipping slowly, as the doctor expertly got the broth down the man’s throat.  Nick watched him closely, learning his technique.  He wanted to be prepared for the trip home.

 

“Doc?”

 

“Yes, Mr. Barkley?”

 

“I told you, it’s Nick.”

 

“Ok, Nick?  What do you need other then sleep?”

 

Nick chuckled.  “When can we take him home?”

 

Ben Mackin was stunned.  “Take him home?  His fever just broke.  It might be months before he’s on his feet.”

 

“But, he’d be ok in a train car, layin’ down?”

 

“Maybe in a few weeks, when he’s stronger.”

 

“When he’s stronger, he’ll try and leave on his own.”  Jarrod spoke about the issue for the first time.  “I think what my brother is trying to say, is that we believe Heath needs to be home, surrounded by his family to heal from this ordeal.”

 

“I take it we’re talking about more then the physical wounds?”

“Yes.  To make a long story short, Heath is our half-brother but has never known the strength a family can provide.”  Jarrod looked at Nick, who nodded in agreement.

 

“I assume all in your house feel the same way?”

 

“Why do you ask?”  Jarrod was very intrigued by the question.

 

“The man has lost his arm.  Honestly, most men don’t die of the actual injury.  They die as a result of the traumatic change in life.  They feel useless.  If he has to battle more then just returning from this injury, you may actually lose rather than save him.”

 

Both Barkleys considered the man’s words.  They knew he was right, but they also knew their family.  The biggest factor was going to be Heath. 

 

“Gentlemen, may I be honest?”

 

“Of course, Doctor.” 

 

“I can’t help but feel you might be forcing this man to go somewhere against his will.”

 

“Well…”  Nick stammered.

 

“I can’t let you just take him.  By your own words, he is a stranger to you.”

 

“Perhaps, but he needs us.”

 

“I agree.  He needs help.  But I need to hear from him, that yours is the help he needs.”

 

“But…”  Nick continued, frustrated.

 

“If you try and take him with out his consent, I will have the sheriff after you.”  The tone of the doctor’s voice told them not to argue and legally Jarrod knew he was right.

 

“Agreed.”

 

They settled in to wait for Heath to wake.  The brothers prayed Heath would wake and not fight the plan, but yet both knew there was a better chance he would.  Two days later, Heath opened his eyes.  Jarrod was alone in the room with him.  A small cough alerted Jarrod to Heath’s awareness.

 

“Welcome back.  How about some water?”

 

Heath said nothing but made a small nod. 

 

“You’ve been resting well.  That’s good.  You need it.”

 

After accepting the water, Heath found his voice.  “Where?”

 

“We’re in Barstow.”

 

“How long?”

 

“Well, it took us two days to get here and it’s been five more since then.”

 

Jarrod was astounded when Heath tried to get up.  Whoa!  Stay still!”  He gently pushed Heath back onto the pillows.  “You are nowhere near ready to be going anywhere.”

 

Heath hadn’t heard Jarrod’s words.  He was staring at the space that once would have held his right arm.  A look of pure loss crossed his face.

 

“It’s healing well.”  Jarrod couldn’t think of anything that would comfort him.

 

“It hurts.”  Before Jarrod could respond, Heath went on as if Jarrod wasn’t present.  “But it can’t can it?” 

 

“I’ve read about amputation.  They call that phantom pain.”

 

“Don’t feel phantom.”  Heath suddenly found some inner pride and needed to change the subject.  “Why are you still here?”

 

“What do you mean?  Where else would we be?”

 

“We?”

 

“Nick’s resting.”

 

“You can go.”

Jarrod chuckled.  “That routine might have worked on Mother and Eugene months ago, but Nick and I know better.”

 

“Why are you doing this?”

 

Jarrod reached over and helped Heath with another drink.  “You need us.”

 

“Never needed you before, don’t suppose I need you now.”

 

Jarrod groaned inside, wishing Nick were there.  This wasn’t easy.  He opted for the direct approach.  “You had two arms before.  Sooner or later you’re going to have to accept help.”

 

“Not from you.”

 

“Why not?  That’s what brothers are for.”

 

Heath was tired and growing very frustrated.  “I don’t need your charity.”

 

“It’s not charity.  You’re a Barkley.  You deserve the name, the family and share of the estate.”

 

“And then send me on my way.”

 

“No.”

 

Heath laughed softly.  “You’re trying to tell me, you’re gonna open your arms and wallets to the bastard son?”

 

“We don’t see you that way.”

 

“I’m tired.”  Heath turned his head and shut his eyes.  It was too much.

 

The next time Heath woke Nick was in the room. 

 

“Damn.  I owe Jarrod.”

 

“Huh?” 

 

Nick helped Heath with more water and explained.  “I told him you had green eyes.  He said they were blue.”  His voice grew more serious.  “I never paid attention to your eyes when you were working on the ranch.”

 

Heath sputtered.  “Do you notice all your hands’ eyes?”

 

“No, I guess I don’t at that.” 

 

Heath tried to sit up, but it wasn’t working with only one arm.  Nick noticed the movements in the stump.  He helped lift him and he settled into the pillows.

 

“I always wanted green eyes.”  Heath was stunned that he was revealing so much and immediately clamped down.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Nothing!” 

 

“It sounds to me like you wished you had green eyes.  Why’s that?”  Nick was taking advantage of the slip up.

 

Heath shook his head and looked to the window. 

 

Nick jabbed Heath lightly in the ribs.  “Come on!  Why green eyes?”

 

Heath knew he would never give up.  “My mama had green eyes.  I always wanted them too.”

 

“You didn’t like blue ones?”

 

“It was the only thing she ever said about him.”

 

“About Father?”

 

“Yeah.  All she ever said about him was that I had his eyes.  It always bothered me.”

 

“Why?”

 

Heath glared at him.  “Why wouldn’t it bother me to remind my ma of the man who branded her a whore and left her with a bastard?”

 

The tension was interrupted by Jarrod’s arrival.  “So, you’re awake.  Excellent.  What have you two been talking about?”

 

“Eye color.”

 

“So, I win huh?  Pay up, Little Brother.”  Nick reached into his pocket and handed Jarrod several bills.  “You know it was a sucker bet, right?”

 

Nick stammered.  “Sure, of course I did.”  Then he got annoyed.  “Why are you sucker betting your own brother?”

 

“Because, someone has to teach you these valuable lessons.  That’s my job!”

 

Nick growled. 

 

“So, feeling up to some food, Little Brother?”  Jarrod asked.

 

Heath said nothing.  He didn’t even recognize that Jarrod was referring to him.  Jarrod asked again.  Nick said nothing, so Heath replied for him.  “Go get food.”

 

Jarrod looked at him.  “What would you like?”

 

Heath was taken aback.  “Me?”

 

“I did ask what you wanted.  Nick can get whatever he likes.”

 

“Why did you call me that?”

 

“Call you what?  Little Brother?  Because you are my little brother.”

 

Nick interjected.  “It’s annoying, isn’t it?”

 

Jarrod shot him a grin and looked back to Heath.  Heath moaned.  “Don’t call me that.”

 

“Good luck with that.  I’ve been trying for years.  Thank goodness Eugene came along because I’d have to deck him if he kept calling me ‘Baby Brother’.”

 

“Yeah, good thing Eugene came along.”  Everyone noted the irony in Heath’s voice. 

 

Nick tried to make up for his faux pas.  “And you, of course.”

 

“Look, I told Jarrod and now I’ll tell you both.  LEAVE!  I don’t need you.”

 

“See, I told you Jarrod.  He’s ready to head home.”

 

Heath glared at him.  “I ain’t goin’ no where with you.”

 

Nick stood firm.  “You’re coming home and that’s final, so you better start accepting that NOW!”

 

“How are you gonna make me?”

 

“You’re not exactly in a position to fight me and win.”

 

“Don’t bet on it.”

 

True Intentions 11

 

The doctor halted the debate over Heath’s future.  He didn’t want his patient getting so agitated.  Jarrod and Nick settled into non-threatening behaviors whenever Heath was awake.  It wasn’t often.  Heath’s body needed to heal and sleep was the magical cure for his physical anguish.  His emotional anguish knew no cure and he was reminded of this each time he opened his eyes and met one of his brothers. 

 

Jarrod knocked on the doctor’s office door.  “Dr. Mackin?  You asked to see me?”

 

“Yes, Jarrod.  Come in.” 

 

Jarrod entered and sat in the offered seat.  “Did you need something?”

 

“No, in fact, I have something for you.”

 

“Oh?”

 

Jarrod accepted the book offered to him with curiosity.  “Thank you, but…”

 

“It is a book I sent for from the nearest army doctor.  A lot of men lost limbs in the war.  It might help you help Heath.”

 

“So, you believe we mean no harm to Heath?”

 

“I believe you are genuinely interested in helping him.  I’m still not convinced he’s going to let you help him.”

 

“Therein lies our problem.”  Jarrod flipped through the pages and then hesitantly asked.  “Can he really find a profitable life?  Did we do the right thing?”  Jarrod had held one of his hands in his pocket the previous night and tried to imagine a few of the obstacles Heath would have to either learn to overcome or allow help.  He began to despair when he realized how hard it was to even button trousers with only one hand and it certainly wasn’t something a man wanted help with.  Jarrod found himself wondering if it was a life worth living.

 

“It won’t be a life such as you and I know it, but he can find something he can do.”

Jarrod’s raised eyebrow encouraged him to go on.  “He will have to be willing to relearn all he has ever known, things you and I take for granted.  Most men go on to productive lives.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Are you prepared to endure the frustration and anger he’ll certainly exhibit?”

 

“We are as a family.”

 

The doctor smiled.  “That’s why I am going to help you take him home.”

 

Jarrod smiled broadly.  “He’ll fight us.”

 

“Yes and no.  It is a bit early to release him, but with the proper medications and comforts in the wagon, he can go.”

 

“I already sent for our private car.  He’ll be comfortable, but if he fights us?”

 

“He needs sleep.  He doesn’t have enough energy to fight too much.”

 

“He says he does.”

 

“He may say it…”

 

Jarrod shared the good news with Nick, who immediately left to start preparing the supplies they would need. Jarrod sat next to the slumbering man reading the book the doctor had supplied.  It was highly specific and very dry reading.  Jarrod found himself nodding off, despite knowing the information might be valuable.

 

Heath woke again to the sharp pains emanating from a limb long since buried underneath half a mountain.  It unnerved him to know his own mind could betray him.  He had always relied on his sharp mind and strong body to get him through his most desperate hours.  Now, it appeared he had neither.  How could he go to the Barkley’s like this?  It would never work.  His dream was now completely shattered. 

 

He watched Jarrod sleep.  His brother.  This man was his brother, well, his half-brother.  He studied the man.  Jarrod was suave, sophisticated and intelligent.  Everyone knew he ran the finances of the Barkleys and did it well.  All that work and he still managed to keep a successful law career, independent of the family work. 

 

Then there was Nick.  The Barkley ranch was well over 10,000 acres and he ran it all.  His skill and expertise was obvious in all aspects of the ranch.  There was nothing about the life that Nick didn’t do and do well.  Despite the hostility between the two men, he had to respect a man who knew the earth and Nick had guts.  Heath wasn’t sure Jarrod would have taken his arm.  Nick did.  He allowed himself just a moment to imagine running the ranch with Nick.  A small smile was just forming on his lips when another pain spread through his upper body, reminding him of his shattered dream and hopeless future.

 

He must have allowed a small groan to escape and it was enough to wake Jarrod.  “Good news!  The doctor is letting us go.”

 

“I let you go a long time ago.”

 

Jarrod chuckled ignoring the tone and attitude.  “All of us are going.”  He wasn’t going to avoid the battle any longer.

 

“How many times have I told you I ain’t goin’ with ya?”

 

“You can keep saying it, but it doesn’t change that you are.”

 

“WHY should I?”

 

“Because you belong with us, your family.”

 

“My family is dead.  I got no need of another.”

 

No one heard Nick enter.  “OK, Fine.  You’re not coming with us because of family.”

Both men looked at Nick and he continued.  “You work for us and we take care of our own.”

 

“I don’t work for you.”

 

“You were when that mine came down on your arm, so you’re our responsibility.  Don’t forget, we are major owners in that mine.”  Without even waiting for a reply, Nick changed the subject and turned to Jarrod.  “Let’s leave this boy alone and get some dinner.”

 

Jarrod began to object, but Nick pulled his arm.  “Give this boy a moment’s peace.”

They left the room to Heath grumbling over being called a boy.

 

“Eat up, Brother Jarrod.  It’s gonna be a tough journey home and I know you’ll get sick of train food.”

 

Both men ordered steaks and discussed the plans for their return journey.  When the food arrived, Nick declared it to be the best steak he had ever eaten. 

 

“This couldn’t be better unless it were Barkley beef.”  Nick was stuffing his mouth with the tender meat.

 

“Indeed it is, Brother Nick.  This was a good idea.”

 

“Of course, it is.  It was mine.”  He paused a moment.  “Ya know.  I have another great idea.”  He waved the waitress over and ordered another dinner.

 

Jarrod laughed.  “Nick, train food isn’t that bad.”

 

“What’s that?  That wasn’t for me.  I’m gonna take it over to Heath.  He needs a good meal in him.”

 

“That is a good idea.”

 

When the steak arrived, Nick quickly left to bring it to Heath.  The plate was piled high with a thick juicy steak, mashed potatoes and green beans.  He entered Heath’s room and watched a small smile come across the young man’s face at the sight of his prize.  Even Heath couldn’t pretend he didn’t want the treat. 

 

“I thought you might like something other then soft foods.”  Nick winked.  “I think this is just about the best steak I ever ate, so I brought one for you.”

 

Heath was so intent on the steak; he didn’t know what he was saying.  “A cold beer and steak.  Nothing better.”

 

“By god!  You’re right.  Hang on.”  Nick left as quickly as he had come.

 

Heath eyed the tasty food.  The steak tempted him, the smell tantalizing his nostrils.  He picked up the fork and worked on the potatoes and beans, finishing them quickly.  He hadn’t realized how hungry he really was.  He stared again at the steak, its juices swirling around the now empty plate.  He set the fork down and picked up his knife.  It wasn’t sharp enough to cut the tender meat unassisted.  The meat slid across the plate as he attempted to cut through it.  He dropped the knife in frustration.  Drawing a deep breath, he decided to try again. Retrieving the knife, he again tried slicing through it, this time with more pressure.  The steak slid off the other end of the plate, into his lap. 

 

Heath couldn’t contain the cry of anger.  Nick heard it, too and hurried with the beer.  He entered the room and stopped in the doorway, seeing the anger and pent up emotion on the crippled man’s face. 

 

Heath looked up.  “GO AWAY!”

 

Nick sucked in a deep breath and continued into the room.  He set the beer on the tray and began talking.  “I guess I should’ve cut that up before I rushed off for this beer.  Why don’t you enjoy that, while I fix this up for you?”

 

“NO!”  Heath grabbed Nick’s hand as it reached for the knife and fork. 

 

“Come on, you need some help.”

 

“NO!”  Heath pushed at the arm.

 

Nick’s voice became very quiet.  “Please, Heath.  Let us help figure all this out.  Don’t keep fighting us.  Give us a try.”

 

Nick’s words sunk in slowly.  They stayed locked in their nonphysical battle.  Heath finally released Nick’s arm and he began to cut.  Heath’s body seemed to lose all its tension and became fairly lax.  Nick could sense it and was therefore surprised when the hand returned to his arm.

 

“Please stop.  You can’t be there forever.  I gotta figure this out myself.”

 

Nick relented, but cautioned.  “No, you don’t have to do this alone.”

 

Heath didn’t acknowledge his words.  He stuck his fork into a precut piece, eating several.  When those pieces were gone, he stuck his fork into the remaining piece and moved it to his mouth, where he took a bite. 

 

Jarrod, unaware of the battle within, entered jovially with a tray loaded with strawberry shortcake.  He stopped short upon witnessing the scene before him.  “I thought we could all share dessert.”

 

Heath took another deliberate bite of the steak.  When he had swallowed, he looked pointedly at Nick.  “Is this really what you want at your table?”

 

“Yes.”

 

 

Heath felt as if his life could get no worse.  He had nothing left to fight with.  He gave up.  He no longer even attempted to do anything for himself.  He allowed the Barkleys to wash him, dress him and all but lift the fork to his mouth, when they could entice him to eat anything.  Jarrod, having read up, was expecting the depression.  Nick stumbled his way around it as best he could.  He couldn’t blame the man but didn’t know how to help him either. 

 

They loaded Heath into the private car and hoped the train would head due north.  If Heath were communicating, he might have let them know if the journey’s pace was too much for him, but he wasn’t.  Jarrod and Nick did their best to gauge his circumstances.  The sway of the car seemed to lull Heath to sleep.  They wired ahead for a wagon at the station and to hold the family back.  Heath needed privacy for his arrival.

 

Jarrod pulled on the reins, halting the horses at the main doors to the Barkley home.  He’d felt the tension ease since riding under the iron gate.  Nick was riding Coco along side and smiled as well. 

 

Heath had seen the gate from the rear of the wagon as well.  For the first time in days, he acknowledged his situation.  Drawing in a deep breath, he fought to find some of the pride, buried so deep inside him.  His dream might be shattered but he would walk tall when returning.  In reality, he knew he was crawling back and it hurt perhaps more then losing the arm.

 

As soon as the wagon stopped, the main doors flew open and Victoria, Eugene and Audra swooped in on Nick and Jarrod.  Heath pulled himself up and scooted to the end of the wagon and crawled over the edge.  His feet touched ground unassisted and a small twinge of the pride he sought surged forward.  He glanced at the family reunion and turned quickly toward the bunkhouse.  He started walking away from the house.

 

After exchanging hugs and kisses, Audra looked to Jarrod.  “How’s Heath?”

 

“Ask him yourself.”  Inside, Jarrod was hoping Eugene and Audra might be able to get through to the man.

 

The family moved toward the back of the wagon and found it empty.  Nick glanced around and saw Heath hobbling away.  He shoudn’t have been trying to walk on his busted leg.  He ran after him and the rest of the family followed him.

 

“Where you goin’, Boy?”  Nick grabbed at Heath’s good arm, stopping him.

 

Heath was pulled easily around.  “I’m headed for the bunkhouse.”

 

Victoria heard the exchange.  “You’re not staying in the bunkhouse.  We have a room in the house for you.”

 

Heath’s first thought was the attic, or maybe a small room off the back of the kitchen.  He wondered if there was an official servants’ wing to the house.  “No, thanks, Ma’am.”

 

“You can’t stay in the bunkhouse.”  Nick pulled him again.  “Come on.”

 

Anger flared in Heath.  “I don’t belong in that house.”

 

Victoria ignored the anger.  “Why not?  You have as much right as any of us.”

 

“No, Ma’am.  As I said before and your son can confirm, I got no rights.”

 

Victoria stood firm.  “You do here.”

 

Heath chuckled.  “For how long?”  Heath indicated his missing arm.  “I got enough to deal with, I don’t need to deal with that house.”

 

Jarrod tried logic.  “So you expect our hands to help you with your needs?”

 

Heath weakened.  “I don’t expect anyone to help me.”

 

Nick finally saw his chance to try and build on this spark of pride.  “Gonna cut your own steaks, now?”

 

Heath glared at him hating the reminder of his ultimate defeat.  “Don’t need to cut beans.”  He turned his back to the family again and started to move.

 

Nick laughed.  “Ya pig headed fool!  How ya gonna open the cans?”

 

Heath stopped.  He had absolutely no idea what to do.  He was lost.  Victoria moved to his side and laid her hand on his good arm.

 

“I can’t do it.”  Heath’s voice was almost helpless with frustration and anger.

 

“Yes, you can.  You’re right.  This isn’t going to be easy.”  She added as an after thought.  “for any of us, but we have to try.”

 

“Why?  Why do you want this?”

 

“Because you belong here.”

 

“I told you.  I want nothing from ya.”

 

“Ah, but you miss the point.  I want something from you.”

 

Heath shook his head, astounded by this woman’s insistence.  “I got nothing for you.”

 

“You’re wrong.  You are a part of my husband and I want all of him I can claim.  So I claim you.”

 

The situation seemed to be at a standstill.  Heath’s head and emotions were swimming and his body was failing.  Jarrod broke the tension.  “She says we get our stubborn streak from Father.  As you can see, she has a fair share of it herself.  Can you trust me on this one thing, Heath?  I’ve never known anyone that can beat her.  Give up now!”

 

“Please, Heath.  Come inside.”  Audra’s pleading voice cut the air.  Heath figured the girl got just about whatever she wanted with that angelic voice.  He knew he was defeated when Eugene joined the pleading.

 

Heath said nothing but walked toward the doors. 

 

True Intentions 12

 

Heath struggled to do for himself and the family waded through indecision.  Everyone was lost on how to help the young man.  They continually offered to help him and he continually refused.  Eugene wanted to delay his return to school, but Victoria insisted that he needed to go back.  It would only add to Heath’s strain to know he was keeping Gene from his education.  He argued that Heath would respond to him but since it showed no evidence of being true, he left.  Jarrod argued that they had to let him fend for himself but Nick insisted that the only reason Heath had come was for their help.

 

“Then why does he fight us?”  Audra was as frustrated as the rest.

 

“Pride.”  Nick was confident.  “He doesn’t know us and he’s trying to learn to do as much as possible with one hand and not even his proper hand.”

 

Victoria smiled inside at her son’s change in attitude.  It was almost as if a brotherly bond had already formed.  She found herself wondering when and why it had happened.  She promised to ask him about it sometime. 

 

“That makes sense, Nick.  But it still doesn’t help us.”  Audra bristled with frustration now.

 

In an unusual show of affection, Nick pulled Audra into a hug and kissed her cheek.  “No, it doesn’t but I do have a couple ideas.”

 

The family listened as Nick laid out his plan.

 

Heath kept to himself as much as possible, preferring not to have an audience for his efforts.  He managed to dress himself but it took forever and he never looked neat.  His biggest frustration so far was the buttons on his jeans.  He seldom consumed fluids, as relieving himself was now an extreme effort.  He never even used the fancy indoor plumbing, as he would have tied up the room for too long.  He spent hours in his room, buttoning and unbuttoning his clothing.  Often he could think of nothing else to do so he would sit and stare at the stump of his arm.  For the first time in many years, he felt sorry for himself.  He tried reading but was quickly frustrated when the book would close on him as he turned a page.  If someone stopped to talk, he would feign sleep.  He wasn’t ready for idle chatter.  In the beginning, he would sit in the chair by the window and watch the men work with horses in the corral but it was too much. 

 

One afternoon, sitting alone in his room, he watched a group of men wrangle a horse with a wild streak.  It was obvious he wanted nothing to do with gentling and fought for his freedom and independence.  Heath identified with him.  Strangely enough, he decided the men were using the wrong approach.  He longed to go down and try to settle him but knew his days of bronc busting were over.  On that day, alone in his room he broke down.  Tears erupted from his eyes and despair and desperation took hold of his heart.  He found no value in his life.

 

Victoria had insisted on his presence at meals.  It was part of her own plan.  She was very careful with the menu, ensuring that it was filled with foods easy to cut with a fork.  She and Silas combed recipe books and were continually adding new items to their repertoire of dishes.  Heath recognized her efforts immediately and silently thanked her for giving him some dignity.  He had no desire to have his food cut up for him in the presence of this family.   

 

He entered the parlor slowly, last as always.  “Evening, everyone.”  There was no cheer in Heath’s voice.  He was simply using the courtesy his mother had taught him.

 

“Heath!”  All greeted him warmly.

 

“Mother, the thought of your chicken gumbo more then makes up for my stomach groaning for a steak and baked potato.”  Nick realized immediately the mistake he had made.   Victoria quickly covered for him.

 

“I know how you love it, Dear.”

 

Heath’s eyes were glued straight to the floor.  He wanted nothing more than to shrivel up into the wall and disappear.  He was no different then Nick.  He thought a steak sounded great.  For a brief second, he knew his pride was not only holding him back but hurting the Barkleys as well. 

 

Silas called them to dinner and Nick and Jarrod offered their arms to the women.  Heath watched them go.  He followed slowly, supporting his body on a cane.  His sedentary life did enable his leg to heal quickly.  When he entered the dining room he pulled out his chair, sat down and awkwardly pulled himself to the table.  Grace was lead by Jarrod and the family chatted about their days as they ate.  Heath would be loathed to admit it but he enjoyed listening to the family’s banter.  Once or twice he even longed to take part in it.  They would ask him questions and he would always answer politely and succinctly.  At first, it had been hard but he was used to it now.

 

“Heath?”

 

Heath hadn’t even heard Nick refer to him.  “Huh?”

 

“I saw you watching that stallion out in the corral today.  Think you could help him?”

 

“How?”

 

“I don’t know, but it seems to me you had a real fine way with horses.”

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I…” He had no answer.  It wouldn’t hurt him to look at the horse.  “I suppose I could walk out there after dinner.”

 

“Excellent.”

 

When dinner was finished Nick, Jarrod and Heath walked out to see the horse.

 

“He’s feisty, Nick.  Why’d you get him?”  Jarrod questioned.

 

“He’s got great lines.  He’s just a bit wild.”

 

Heath looked longingly at him.  “He wants to be free.”

 

Heath made some small nicking noises and the stallion came to his hand.  He rested his bum leg against the fence and leaned into the horse.  The horse nudged the outstretched hand, as if sensing a friend.  Nick and Jarrod stared in amazement.  They had high hopes for this attempt and so far it was going far better then they could have dreamed.

 

“Ya know, Heath.  You could really help me with him.”

 

“How, Nick?  I can’t exactly ride him.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I only got one arm, or hadn’t you noticed?”

 

“I noticed, but that don’t mean you can’t ride.”

 

“How am I gonna handle the reins?”

 

It was Jarrod who answered.  “Like you said, you got one arm.”