Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program Big Valley are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the authors. The ideas expressed in this story are copywrited by the author.

This story contains graphic adult content. If you are under 18 please leave now!!

 

Demons of Silence- By Buckaroo42

Part 27

Jarrod staggered to his horse and somehow managed to mount the animal despite the excruciating pain in his ribs and head.  Nick and Heath quickly mounted their own horses and followed after their older brother.  His pace was difficult to keep up with and it was several miles before Jarrod’s horse slowed and he began to slump forward in the saddle.  Heath spurred his horse forward and reached down to grab Jingo’s reins.  Nick moved in close to Jarrod, alert to the possibility that Jarrod might slip out of his saddle. 

The moon cast just enough light for Nick to see that the side of Jarrod’s face was covered in blood.  Nick looked up and spoke to Heath, who was now leading Jingo. “Pull up Heath, Jarrod’s bleeding!”

Stopping the horses, both men dismounted. Nick stepped up beside Jarrod and spoke gently, “Jarrod, can we getcha off your horse? Yer bleedin’ pretty bad there big brother.”  Jarrod stirred and tried to dismount.  Seeing him struggle, both brothers tried to help, but were pushed away.  They could hear a hitch in Jarrod’s breathing every time he took a breath, but still he refused their help as he slowly eased himself off his horse.  When his feet hit the ground, Jarrod grabbed the saddle horn to keep himself from falling and leaned into the saddle for support, his legs barely keeping him upright.

Ignoring Jarrod’s protests, Nick and Heath both reached out and helped him to the ground.  Nick fiddled with the knot in his bandana, and got it off. Heath retrieved one of the canteens and handed it to Nick, who poured some water on the bandana.  He spoke low and soft as he worked to clean up the side of Jarrod’s face. “What do you say we ride back to town and see the doctor?”  Jarrod shook his aching head, instantly regretting it, and pointed towards home.

Holding the wad of cloth to the cut on his brother’s head, Nick sighed at Jarrod’s stubbornness and looked up at Heath. “Can you see if there’s somethin’ we can bandage this with?”

“Sure Nick, I got a spare shirt you can use.” Heath got the shirt and tore it into strips.  Handing Nick a folded square of cloth, Heath waited until Nick had it in place, then he began wrapping Jarrod’s head. As he worked, he asked with concern, “How are yer ribs, Jarrod? Are they busted ya think?”  First Jarrod shook his head, then he added a reluctant shrug.  He didn’t think they were broken, but he wasn’t sure.  All he knew for sure was that it hurt to breath.  Heath finished and tried to lift his brother’s shirt to take a look at the damaged ribs.  Jarrod shifted away from Heath’s hands and glared at his younger brother.

Frustrated, Nick snapped at Jarrod, “Don’t be so damn stubborn Jarrod, he ain’t gonna hurt ya!”

Duly admonished, Jarrod untucked his own shirt and lifted it so his brothers could see his ribs.  Heath whistled, “Boy howdy Jarrod. That some nice bruisin’ ya got there.” Heath looked Jarrod in the eye and reached out his hand, stopping short of touching his older brother and asked softly, “Can I see if they’re broke?”  Jarrod dropped his head in resignation and sighed, then slowly nodded his head.  Heath touched the bruise and the area around it.  Jarrod flinched away from the pain, and his breathing increased. Leaning forward,  Jarrod let Nick hold him as Heath prodded his ribs. Finally done, Nick felt Jarrod relax and he eased him out of his arms.

Jarrod’s head dropped to his chest and Nick looked at Heath for a diagnosis.  “Well?”

Heath sat back with a small smile, “I don’t reckon they’re broke.  Gonna be mighty sore for a while though.”

Nick questioned Jarrod, “Think you can ride?”  Jarrod nodded and was helped to his feet. Taking a second to steady himself, Jarrod grabbed the saddle horn, and attempted to lift his foot into the stirrup.  Heath came to his rescue and lifting his foot, placed it in the stirrup for him.  Between Nick and Heath and a token effort on Jarrod’s part they managed to get him back into the saddle. Heath patted his brother’s leg as he stood looking up at Jarrod worriedly, “You gonna make it?”

Taking the reins Heath handed him, Jarrod sat up straighter and nodded. Heath mounted his own horse and the three brothers headed for home.  By the time they got home, Jarrod was pale and sweaty from the long ride.  He offered no resistance when his brothers helped him from his horse and all but carried him into the house.  Moving quietly, so as not to wake their mother, they got Jarrod into the study to further see to his injuries. Heath rounded up some clean bandages and some ointment and Nick got everybody a drink.  Jarrod downed it, hoping it would help dull the pain in his head and his ribs.  His head throbbed to the beat of his heart and Heath’s ministrations were doing nothing towards relieving the pain.  Frustrated and tired, Jarrod finally had enough and pushed Heath’s hands away from his head. 

Sensing his older brother’s growing anxiety, Heath backed off, “It’s okay Jarrod. I’m done.” Jarrod dropped his head in his hands and tried to rub away the pain, with no success.  He could feel the anger and helplessness build and he just wanted it to go away.  His brothers were powerless to help him and the rage continued to build.  He wanted to scream his anger, his frustration, his helplessness.  He didn’t want to live like this anymore.  Morton was right, he was crazy or at least headed that way.  He was tired of living in fear.  He wanted his life back. 

Wrapping his arm around his sore ribs he got to his feet. Staggering a bit, he furiously brushed away his brother’s helping hands.  He glared at them in anger, willing them to go away, yet knowing full well they wouldn’t leave him.  Instead he did his best to ignore them.  Making his way to his desk, Jarrod searched in earnest for information.  He pulled out files and haphazardly pawed through the papers, searching for a clue. Anything that would relieve the anxiety. The anxiety of not knowing.  Not knowing where they were.  He had to know where they were.  Know where they were so he could hunt them down.  Hunt them down and put an end to the silence.  The self-imposed silence only those who forced it, could lift.  The pile of papers grew larger, and Jarrod continued his frantic search. Heath and Nick watched in silent disbelief, afraid to leave their older brother in his present state, yet at the same time afraid to interfere.  Both men had enough experience at this point to be wary of Jarrod when his mood shifted like this.  Admittedly, neither had ever seen Jarrod in such a state of angry panic. Exhausted from his efforts, Jarrod slumped down in his chair and threw his arms across the mound of papers on his desk.  Panting, he dropped his head between his outstretched arms and the sweat of his efforts dripped on the papers beneath him.

Very cautiously, Nick and Heath approached Jarrod.  Nick started to reach for him and Heath pulled back his arm, stopping him with a nervous shake of his head.  Nick sighed in frustration and worry, but was drawn ever closer to his suffering brother. “Jarrod?” Nick spoke softly, not wanting to startle his older brother.

Both Nick and Heath took several steps backward, when Jarrod stood so quickly, his chair was slammed in to the wall behind him with considerable force. His hands were planted on the stacks of paper and his body tensed and trembled at the unfairness of his situation.  In a final fit of rage, Jarrod angrily swiped the papers to the floor.  Grabbing the edge of the desk, his muscles strained and his teeth clenched in anger as he lifted it off the floor and sent it crashing forward.  The effort was too much for his already battered body and he dropped to his knees, grabbing his screaming ribs.

Nick and Heath both rushed forward and dropped beside him.  Both men touched his back in an automatic gesture of comfort and Jarrod kicked his way back to the wall.  Forced backward and with no place to go, Jarrod lifted his hands and pleaded with his eyes for them to stay away.  Sitting back on his haunches, Heath stayed his ground as did Nick.  “What is it Jarrod? Can you tell us what’s going on?”

Jarrod pulled his knees to his chest and shook his head, the confusion and frustration evident in his face.  Dropping his head on his knees, Nick and Heath watched as their big brother shed silent tears of despair.  Nick’s heart ached to see his older brother suffer so and his own tears threatened to overflow.  Heath hung his head, feeling every bit of Jarrod’s pain. 

After several minutes, Jarrod lifted his head and leaned it back against the wall, his eyes red and raw. Embarrassed by his outburst, he dropped his head and looked down at the papers that were scattered around him.  His eyes suddenly stopped on a single newspaper clipping, the one he searched for in a blind panic and he slowly reached out to pick it up, his entire concentration focused on the tiny scrap of information.  Wiping his eyes, he pulled the paper closer and read the words.  Clenching it tightly in his hands, he hung his head and his body shook with emotion.  Worried Jarrod was going to fall apart again, Nick and Heath both moved in and each man took a seat beside their brother, then they realized that Jarrod was no longer crying, he was laughing.   His silent laughter was almost hysterical as Jarrod found the irony of the whole situation humorous.  Glancing at both brothers and seeing their concern, Jarrod’s laughter stopped and he held out the crumbled paper with a trembling hand.  Heath took it and pressed out the wrinkles before reading it.  Finishing, he handed it across to Nick. The three men sat silently against the wall and contemplated the news on the paper.

Alerted by the crashing desk, Mother, Audra and Ruth burst into the room at that particular moment and stared in horror at the mess.  Scanning the room, their eyes rested on the men and their mouths opened in surprise and wonder at the scene before them.

Something had obviously taken place tonight and at first Victoria was only concerned for her sons. Jarrod had a bandage around his head and both Nick and Heath were sporting bruises on their faces.  Eyeing them carefully, she caught the familiar gleam in Jarrod’s eye. Her heart soared and she decided the situation was best left for her sons to resolve.  Taking Audra and Ruth by the arms, she started to leave the room, then turned back with a small smile, “I trust you will have this all taken care of by morning.”

All three brothers smiled, and Nick replied sheepishly, “Yes, Mother.”

“Good night then.  Don’t stay up too late.”

Nick and Heath both replied together, “Yes Mother.”

Waiting for them to leave, Heath pulled his knees up and rested his arms on them.  He spoke nonchalantly, “You know older brother, if you wanted to know where the Keller’s lived all ya had to do was ask.”

Jarrod looked at Heath in disbelief, then turned to glare at Nick when he heard him snicker.  Nick was holding his hand over his mouth in an attempt to hide his laughter.  Seeing Heath’s subtle humor, Jarrod smiled and turned back to witness Heath’s lop-sided grin go to all out laughter.  Chuckling, Jarrod pushed Heath over in retaliation, and before long it turned into a full scale wrestling match between the brothers.  Mindful of Jarrod’s ribs, both Nick and Heath let Jarrod get the upper hand and they were back to leaning against the wall in no time.

Nick sighed with pleasure and relief, then questioned his older brother, “Does this mean we finally get to go after them sons-of-a-bitches?”

Nodding, Jarrod’s face grew solemn with his desire to see justice finally go full circle.  He glanced sideways at Heath and raised an inquiring eyebrow. Heath smiled, “We was just waitin’ on you to tell us when.”

Jarrod looked quickly from brother to brother in confusion.  Nick’s voice was somber as he explained, “Well, we didn’t figure it was somethin’ we could do for you big brother.” 

Jarrod took the piece of paper and shook it at his brothers, and Heath caught on right away. “They’re back at their ranch Jarrod.” 

An involuntary shudder passed through Jarrod and Nick added, “They showed up back there a couple of weeks ago.  Up until then, we had no idea where they were.  From what the Pinkerton’s told us, Tim Keller pretty much runs that country up there. He probably figures they’re safe since nobody’s made any attempt to go after them.”

Jarrod’s face took on a determined look and his anger took him to his feet. Heath and Nick both followed and quickly restrained him, Nick grabbed him and looked him in the eye, “You ain’t in no condition to be makin’ a trip like that right now.” Nick smiled ruefully, “Give yerself some time to heal and we’ll all go after ‘em.”

“Nick’s right big brother. The longer we wait, the better our chances of takin’ ‘em by surprise.”

Jarrod nodded at his brother’s logic, but knew it would be difficult to wait now that he’d worked up the courage to face his tormentors.  He only hoped that his courage wouldn’t fade if he had to wait too long.

Part 28

His courage never faded and before the week was out his resolve to confront the Kellers was even more determined.   Victoria and Ruth were none too pleased with the brother’s plans to head to Oregon.  Victoria spoke to her sons, her voice bitter, “And what are you going to do when you find them, kill them?”

Nick planted his hands on his hips and glared at his mother, “If we have too.”

Jarrod stood in the alcove and leaned against the door jam of the patio doors, listening to Nick argue with his mother, his own thoughts on their impending encounter with the Keller brother’s.  He knew in his head it would be wrong to kill them outright, but his heart was screaming for revenge.  Lost in thought he didn’t hear Ruth approach as she came to stand beside him.  Pulling her to his side, Jarrod wrapped his arm around her waist and gave her a tender kiss.  Ruth smiled up at him and asked worriedly, “How are you doing?”

Jarrod shrugged, not sure how he was doing.  Ruth hesitated then began to speak, “I’m worried about you doing this Jarrod?” Pulling her closer he tried to reassure her.  Ruth had spent a considerable amount of time thinking about their plan to head to Oregon and she just didn’t like it.  Reluctant to say anything before, she could hold her tongue no longer, “Jarrod, don’t you think it’s awful dangerous going into their territory.  If they are as powerful as the Pinkerton’s say they are, you are taking a risk just going up there.” Jarrod held her at arms length and listened as Ruth continued. “I was just thinking. Wouldn’t it be better to get them to come to you. Fight them on your home ground, so to speak.”  Ruth was relieved as she realized she had Jarrod’s full attention.  “Seems to me if they thought you had opened up your law practice and had ignored their warnings again they just might come down here and check it out.”  Jarrod stood contemplating the idea and his eyes lit up as his brain worked out the details.  Grabbing Ruth, he pulled her into the room where his family was gathered.  Standing before his family, Jarrod nodded at Ruth to tell them her idea. Shyly, Ruth related her plan.

Nick was the first to speak up in protest, “You just want to let them ride in here and start all over.”

Jarrod shook his head and Ruth explained, “You’ll be waiting for them this time.  When they show up all you have to do is turn them over to the sheriff.”

Angrily Nick waved his arm towards his sister, “What about Audra?” As he spoke he took his place behind her chair and dropped his hand onto her shoulder.

Audra paled at the implications but protested calmly, “I’ll be fine. I don’t think they ever had any intention of hurting me the first time.” She looked at her brothers as she continued, “They were empty threats. They have to know that won’t work this time around.  Ruth is right.  You will all be much safer this way.” Trying to reassure them, Audra added cheerfully, “Besides it won’t hurt me stay home for a while.” Audra was relieved when she saw her brothers nod in agreement to what she had proposed.  Victoria couldn’t have been prouder of Audra than she was right then.  Her daughter was willing to give up her freedom so her brothers could resolve the situation in a safe environment.  Nick too was proud of her as he gave her shoulder a squeeze and Audra couldn’t help but smile at his silent praise.

Heath chimed in, “What makes you think they’ll show up?  They know they’re safe in Oregon, why even bother?”

Ruth looked at Jarrod and said hesitatingly, “From what you have all told me, Tim Keller doesn’t like to lose. If he thinks for one minute that Jarrod is back to living his life, he’ll think he failed and he isn’t the kind of man who takes too kindly to that.”  Ruth smiled slyly and added, “A well placed telegram or news article might even bring him here quicker.”

Heath gave her a lop-sided grin, “Boy howdy Ruth, I like the way you think.”

Nick still wasn’t convinced, “And how do you convince everyone Jarrod is gonna be practicing law when he can’t talk.”

Ruth’s face fell for a moment. She was so used to Jarrod not talking it hadn’t even occurred to her. She appeared to be thinking on it, then suddenly blurted out in excitement to Jarrod, “How about this?  Since you’ve been away so long, it is going to take time to get your office and paperwork in order.  You could use that as an excuse and you wouldn’t have to actually take on any clients that way. You would only need to go to the office a couple times a week, just enough to put on a good show.” Ruth was rambling, but she really wanted this to work, and she tried to sound convincing.  “You decided to catch up on the legal work for the ranch first and plan to take on new clients in say... two months. That should give them plenty of time to make a move.”  Jarrod smiled at his wife’s enthusiasm and nodded in agreement.  Ruth wasn’t finished and played her final card. She resisted the urge to wince as she spoke, afraid of Jarrod’s response. “I could be your secretary and play interference.”  As expected, Jarrod shook his head vehemently, not wanting to put his wife in any danger.  Ruth continued to argue her point, “If you are going to make this work, you are going to need someone you can trust not to say a word.  I know you don’t want me to do this Jarrod, but I really think I it would help if I was the one to do this. ”  Jarrod was lost in thought, not at all too sure Ruth wouldn’t be the best for such a job.  She was one of the few that he didn’t have to struggle to communicate with.

Ever protective of Ruth, Nick remained the devil’s advocate. “I still don’t like it.”

Victoria, who had remained silent throughout the conversation, finally spoke up. “Both ideas have their faults, but I must agree that Ruth’s seems to hold the least amount of risk for all of you. Jarrod, you will be with Ruth all the time and I insist that several of our men be posted around town when Nick or Heath is not with you.  We can put extra men on the house, even if it means hiring more help.  I do not want any of you putting yourselves in harms way.” The silver-haired matriarch spoke with an authority not to be denied. “I don’t want any unnecessary killing. Do I make myself clear?” She gave each of her sons a look that demanded their obedience.  She waited for the reluctant nod from each of them before speaking to Ruth, “At the first sign of trouble you will be escorted to the ranch. I don’t want you in any danger.”

Ruth nodded and Victoria asked Nick, “Can we have the Pinkerton’s keep an eye on the Kellers so we know what they are doing without tipping them off?”

Nick smiled, “I think that can be arranged Mother.  I’ll send a telegram first thing in the morning”

Jarrod moved so he stood behind Ruth. Wrapping his arms around her waist he leaned around and gave her a kiss.  She was happy to see him beam with pride when she twisted her head around to see his face.  She smiled in response and he squeezed her close to him.

Silas entered at that moment and announced dinner.  Victoria gathered her family around her as they went to dinner, grateful that her sons wouldn’t be leaving tomorrow as they had originally planned.  While there were still dangers involved in this new plan, it seemed easier to accept, knowing they wouldn’t be far from home.

*******************************************************************************

Jarrod was restless that night and Ruth lay in bed worried about what affect meeting the Kellers would have on her husband.  It wasn’t long before Jarrod began thrashing in his sleep and Ruth knew exactly what affect it would have on him.

Cautiously, Ruth reached out and touched Jarrod to awaken him.  He was already soaked to the skin and his breathing strained by the dreams.  “Jarrod, wake up sweetheart. It’s just a dream.”  Jarrod bolted upright, panting in deep gasping breaths.  His eyes darted from side to side, the terror evident in his face.  Recognition came when he heard Ruth’s voice, “Shhhhh... It was just a dream, Jarrod.”  His body slumped in relief and he inhaled the cool night air hoping to calm his ragged nerves.  Flopping back on the bed, he raised his forearm and covered his eyes when Ruth shifted across the bed and turned up the light enough to see by.  Jarrod winced at the light and Ruth apologized, “Sorry, but you need to get out of those wet clothes.”

Sighing, Jarrod nodded and sat up.  Sitting on the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor, he scrubbed his still shaking hands through his now wet hair in despair.  Ruth went to the bureau and retrieved dry pants for him.  Standing up, he quickly removed his wet clothes and replaced them with the dry ones Ruth handed him.  Once they were settled in bed again, Ruth asked worriedly, “Are you worried about all this Jarrod?”  Jarrod nodded, grateful Ruth was able to read him so well.  Taking her hand in his, he squeezed it gently. Ruth snuggled into his side and draped her arm across his chest as she spoke, “I know you’re worried and scared, sweetheart, but this time you’ll have Nick and Heath watching out for the Kellers too.  You aren’t facing this alone. They will do everything in their power to see that nothing happens.”

Rolling over, Jarrod laid above her and gazed into her dark eyes, thinking how lucky he was to have found someone as understanding as her to share his life with.  To think that he never would have found her again under different circumstances was frightening.  It scared him even more knowing he would have traded not finding her for never having had to suffer what he did at the hands of her brother. He didn’t resent her for her brothers failings, he was grateful beyond words that she had been there for him. He knew with every ounce of his being, that he never would have made it through his ordeal if she hadn’t been there for him at the end of every day.  That, more than anything, made agreeing with her plan so much easier to accept then going to Oregon.  He wasn’t all too sure he was ready to face the world without Ruth by his side.  He accepted the fact that he was still very dependent on her for support. Maybe with time he would get better, but with all that they had gone through and all that they had shared, he knew she would always be at his side.  He had found his soul mate in Ruth, and despite all that he had endured, he had come away from it with something worth living for.

Lowering his head, Jarrod kissed her gently and Ruth could feel all his love in that simple gesture. When he pulled away from the kiss, Ruth returned it with a quiet, heartfelt, “I love you too.”

The moisture gathered in both pairs of eyes and the next kiss was more passionate than the one before. It wasn’t long before their desires overtook them and they lay exhausted in the darkness, each one grateful they had found the other, yet wondering if the love they now shared was worth the cost of one man’s damaged soul.

Part 29

The next week went quickly as they set their plan in motion.  Jarrod and Ruth put in an appearance at his office two days a week, but nothing was every accomplished.  With Jarrod unable to write, there was little he could actually do.  Neither Ruth nor Jarrod had even considered what they would actually do once they were at the office, so Ruth generally took a book or something to occupy her time, while Jarrod read through his old law books.  All visitors were handled by Ruth, who told each one politely that Mr. Barkley wasn’t taking on any new cases at the present time or he was simply too busy to see them, could they come back at a later date.   They varied the days they went in, making it harder for the local businessmen to pin him down.  Ruth’s innate ability to ramble usually kept them from coming back.  The first time Jarrod heard her go on and on from the sanctity of his office, he laughed so hard he was in tears by the time the poor man could manage to make his escape.  Her straight-faced delivery and sweet disposition making it all the more hilarious.  It became the highlight of his day if someone was actually brave enough to enter into Ruth’s realm.  They both came to enjoy the time they spent together away from the family.  A few ranch hands could always be found in town on the same days Jarrod and Ruth worked. 

Times were not all easy for Jarrod. Since his decision to go after the Kellers he suffered the nightmares.  Maybe not every night but frequently enough that he was beginning to show signs of fatigue and lack of sleep.  Ruth was aware of it, but he struggled to hide it from his family. His haggard appearance after a bad night was generally enough to let his family know he was suffering from nightmares again.  It had been three weeks and the Kellers were still not making any move to come to them.

*****************************************************************************

The front door slammed and Victoria cringed at the sound as she waited for the telltale bellow that followed, “MOTHER!”

“Must you yell Nicholas?”

Contrite, Nick apologized, “Sorry Mother. Where is everybody?”

“Jarrod and Ruth are in the study, Heath is getting cleaned up and Audra is resting I believe,” said Victoria.

 Nick moved to the bottom of the stairs and ignoring his mother’s earlier warning hollered up the stairs, “Heath, Audra come down here!” 

Victoria smiled and rolled her eyes. “Nick, please don’t yell!”

Nick looked at her and smiled, “Sorry Mother, but we got some good  news today.” He told her as he held up the telegram. He handed it to her and went to get Jarrod and Ruth, only to have them meet him along the way. Following Nick out to the foyer, they could see Audra coming down the stairs with Heath right behind her. 

Still buttoning his shirt, Heath looked at Nick and grinned, “What’s got you so all fired up Nick?”

Nick slapped his gloves into his hand and smiled at the family, “Our boys are on the move.  They left Oregon yesterday.”

Jarrod paled a bit, but ducked his head to hide his sudden shock at the news. He wanted this. Wanted it to be over, but he couldn’t help but be just a little fearful at the same time.  Ruth put her arm in his and hugged him. Jarrod clasped his hand over hers and gave her a warm smile. 

Heath took the telegram from his mother and read it himself, then said. “You reckon they’re already around then?”

“Won’t be long, that’s for sure.  I talked to the men and put double guards on the house and I got men posted on all the roads leading into the ranch.  They ain’t gonna make a move without us knowin’ about it.”

Victoria voiced her concern, “I hope you’re right son.  I don’t want anyone getting hurt over this.”

Nick walked to his mother and wrapped his arm around her, “Now don’t worry Mother. We got this all worked out.  Nothing is gonna happen.”  The five pairs of eyes watching him didn’t seem so convinced.

But Nick was right...nothing happened.  Two weeks after the telegram, the Kellers still hadn’t made a move.  Everyone was at nerve’s end, especially Jarrod, from sitting around the ranch waiting for something to happen.  Nick wouldn’t let anyone off the ranch, but the Kellers had made no attempt to come onto the property.  Frustrated, Jarrod decided to force the issue and his brothers found him in the barn saddling his horse.

“Now where do you think you’re going?” hollered Nick.

Jarrod tightened Jingo’s cinch and glared at Nick, his whole frame screaming his determination. Heath stepped up to him and grabbed his arm. “You can’t just ride out of here and let them catch you.”

Shrugging off Heath’s grasp, Jarrod pulled the rifle out of his scabbard and checked the load, then did the same thing with his pistol. Nick continued his tirade, “You think you can handle them alone big brother?  You tried that, remember. It didn’t work!”

Jarrod’s eyes were dark with fury as he pointed to his chest then to the barn door. Nick grabbed him as Jarrod lead Jingo out of the barn.  Nick never saw it coming.  Jarrod released the reins, turned on Nick and landed a powerful blow to Nick’s chin, sending him into oblivion.  Heath rushed forward, intent on stopping Jarrod and found himself facing his brother’s forty-five. One look at Jarrod’s hard cold eyes and Heath raised his hands in defeat.  Instead he dropped next to Nick, as he watched Jarrod ride off.

Tapping Nick’s face, Heath tried to waken him, “Come on Nick. We ain’t got time for this. Wake up!”

Nick came around slowly, moaning at the pain in his jaw. “Hmmmm.”  Nick looked around and sat up, rubbing his tender jaw. Noticing Jarrod was missing, he yelled at Heath, “Well don’t just sit there gawkin’ at me, go after him.”

Heath quickly removed himself from Nick and went to saddle up his own horse.  Nick joined him after a few false starts and the two of them were soon mounted and ready to head after their stubborn older brother. Nick alerted Duke McCall to get all the men together, except those guarding the women, and told him to follow as soon as possible. Jarrod only had about a fifteen or twenty minute head start, and Nick hoped they would catch up to him before he got himself into any trouble.

Jarrod rode Jingo hard, knowing his brothers were likely to be right behind him.  He didn’t know where he was going but he knew he had to get off the ranch if he was to flush out the Kellers.  He was counting on the fact that his brothers would be able to follow any trail he left behind.   He headed for town thinking that was the road the Kellers most likely had staked out.  His eyes nervously scanned the hills and trees for signs of his adversaries.  He was about a mile out of town when he pulled up and let Jingo rest for a minute.  He turned back to check the road behind him for signs of Nick or Heath, and could see no sign of them.  He’d been trying not to think about Nick’s wrath or Heath’s silent disapproval when they finally caught up with him.  Jarrod knew it wasn’t the brightest idea he’d ever had, but damn it he was tired of waiting.  Tired of the nightmares, and tired of seeing his family trapped at home because of their fear for him.  He couldn’t allow it to go on and yet here he sat, no closer to resolving it than he was before.  Disgusted with the whole thing, he nudged Jingo towards town.  The sooner he made the journey to town the sooner he could get back home.  Jarrod made it another hundred yards when a single shot rang out and his world became dark.

*

Jarrod came around slowly, his head pounded wildly and nausea threatening to overtake him.  It took him several seconds to realize that he was laying across Jingo’s saddle, bound by his hands and feet.  The blood from the gunshot wound ran down his face and dripped to the road beneath him. The bright sunlight and the bouncing of his horse were more then he could handle and he lost the contents of his stomach as well.  Despite the pain and sick felling, a small smile graced his pale features. That ought  to give Nick and Heath something to follow.  The Kellers were riding at a bruising speed and Jarrod had to strain to keep himself balanced on Jingo.  Cursing his stupidity at such an irrational plan, Jarrod could only watch the road go by and wonder where they were going and what was going to happen when they got their.  His nausea from the head wound continued to assault him, but Jarrod let it happen, hoping his brothers weren’t too far behind. 

Part 30

Jarrod wasn’t sure how long they traveled before they finally stopped. He’d lost consciousness several times throughout the trip and had no idea where he was.  All his blood seemed to have collected in his arms and legs and they throbbed in time with his heart.  His wrists were raw and bloody from the chaffing ropes that bound him.  His heart raced when he heard footsteps approach and he was ill prepared when his ropes were suddenly cut.  Someone grabbed his shoulder and roughly pushed him off the saddle. His whole body seemed to scream out as he fell to the ground in a heap.  The movement was enough to make his head spin and he fought back the bile that rose in his throat, and everything around him came in twos.  Jarrod managed to sit up and slowly shook his head trying to clear away the dizziness and focus on his surroundings.  Oblivious to everything around him, Jarrod tried to get to his knees when he heard a voice.  It seemed distant somehow, and yet it’s unmistakable timbre made his whole body tense with fear.  A fear he refused to allow to the surface.  Gathering all his strength and resolve, Jarrod made it to his knees and leaned back on his haunches. His face a mask,  he took notice of his surroundings  He seemed to be in some sort of canyon, surrounded by steep hills of rock and brush and the four Kellers stood all around him, casting daggers. Jarrod ignored them and waited.

“So Counselor, you ruined all our hard work.  While I am impressed with your stamina, it seems all our planning was for nothing.  Our man in Texas obviously didn’t do as instructed.” Tim Keller began the all to familiar circling and Jarrod watched him warily and waited.  “Our sister is the reason for all you went through and you chose to ignore the lesson.  You know lawyer man she still don’t let no one near her, she still don’t talk, she doesn’t trust anyone, not even her own family.  And here you are, going back to the very same life we thought we beat out of you.”  Tim stopped and stood in front of him, and his tone grew more malicious as he taunted Jarrod “I hear tell you got your practice up and running again.” Tim leaned in and spoke low and spiteful, “I hear you even got you a new wife.” Jarrod looked up sharply at his tormentor and saw the gleam in his eye.  Jarrod blanched at Keller’s implications, then the rage began to build quicker than Tim Keller could react.  In a blink of an eye, Jarrod launched himself at Keller and used his head to land a searing blow to the man’s middle.  Staggering a bit as he hit such a large mass, Jarrod recovered enough to turn on the man and deliver a powerful blow to his chin, effectively dropping the large man to the ground.  Turning towards the other brothers, he crouched low, ready to take on his opponents.  Tim lay on the ground groaning, while his brothers remained indecisive as they watched Jarrod eye them furiously.  Tim came around enough to realize that Jarrod was unrestrained and shouted to his brothers angrily, “Take him! He ain’t armed.”  So used to following their older brother’s orders, they all three advanced on Jarrod at once.  In minutes, his battered body was being held by two brother’s while the third pounded away at him.

Jarrod struggled against his tormentors, despite the pain, when a single shot froze the Kellers in their tracks and a familiar bellow filled the air, “THAT’S ENOUGH! LET HIM GO!” Jarrod closed his eyes and sighed in relief at Nick’s voice.

Tim Keller reacted with speed that belied his bulk and quickly had Jarrod in a choke hold, his eyes darting to the surrounding area in search of the shooter.  Through the fog, Jarrod heard Nick’s voice again, “I SAID LET HIM GO. NOW!”

Tim Keller had lost something when his sister had been assaulted. He had lost his own soul and his world revolved around seeking revenge against the one man he thought responsible.  He was the one who orchestrated this trip to Stockton against his brother’s strong opposition. They were willing to let it go, but Tim’s obsession with revenge brought them to this place. They knew he was irrational about it but still they watched in stunned disbelief as he grabbed Jarrod and dragged him towards cover, pulling his gun and shooting towards the disembodied voice.  The rocks and bushes seemed to explode in gunfire and Jess, Rob and Jeb had no choice but to take cover and return fire, loyal to Tim even in his present state.  Distanced from Tim, they fought a battle all their own, and one by one they lost the fight, until only Tim and Jarrod remained.  The men above ceased fire, afraid of hitting Jarrod, and waited for Tim Keller to make his next move. 

Tim Keller didn’t realize that he held in his grasp the man he’d created. The old Jarrod would have never been able to fight a man Keller’s size and expect to win. The old Jarrod wouldn’t have had to deal with the terror of having someone too close to him. The old Jarrod had never been so beaten down that it was unthinkable to ever be so powerless again.  The old Jarrod wouldn’t have been able to ignore the pain that screamed for him to give in. No this was the man that Tim Keller had created, the man that would be his undoing.   All the things that made Jarrod who he was surfaced in a deep, burning rage and exploded.  Twisting in Keller’s grasp, Jarrod slammed his elbow into the man’s face. Taking no time to see if it was effective, Jarrod pummeled Keller with debilitating blows to the stomach, ribs, and kidneys, intent on slowing the big man down.  Still dizzy from the blow to his face, Tim Keller’s reaction time was slowed considerably.  Jarrod’s rage consumed him and he was oblivious to Tim Keller’s eventual whimpering and pleas for it to stop.  When Jarrod felt himself being torn away from his adversary, he struggled to return and put an end to his silent suffering. 

Heath and Nick were hard pressed to hold on to Jarrod as he fought to get back to Keller, who now had several guns trained on him.  They pulled Jarrod back to one of the high boulders and used their own bodies to pin him to the rock. Straining against them, Jarrod was panting with unsuppressed fury.  Only when Nick yelled, did it start to clear away, “IT’S OVER JARROD!” 

Jarrod looked around, as if suddenly aware of his surroundings.  His brothers held him tight against the rock at his back and Tim Keller lay opposite him on the ground, cowering in fear.  Everything suddenly caught up with him, and his knees buckled.  Nick and Heath were there in an instant, and lowered him to the ground.  Pulling his legs to his chest, Jarrod buried his head in his knees and tried to calm his gasping breaths.  All the pain and suffering surfaced and Jarrod couldn’t stop the moan that escaped his lips. Duke, seeing that Jarrod was in good hands, ordered the men to remove the bodies and take what was left of Tim Keller back to town.  With a backward glance, he left the three brothers their privacy and rode to the ranch to inform Victoria and get word to the doctor.

Nick and Heath huddled at Jarrod’s side and wrapped their arms around him in comfort.  Startled by their touch, Jarrod lifted his head and looked at his brothers with total despair.  The tears ran freely, mingling with blood from his head wound.  Jarrod began to shake from the shock and soon his body was trembling as he struggled to stop the overflow of emotions.  Nick pulled him close and whispered soft and gentle, “It’s okay big brother. It’s over.” 

Heath held Jarrod from the side and leaned against his shoulder. His voice broke as he uttered, “Let it out Jarrod. Don’t fight it no more.”

Jarrod lifted his head, stared at his brothers and all his resolve crumbled at the love they cast upon him.  With a gasping breath, he cried in anguish, “Oh god, it’s over!”  His body gave in to all the physical and emotional pain and he sobbed in great heaves in his brother’s arms. Wrapping his arms around them, Jarrod’s fingers grasped for more and pulling them in close,  let them comfort him.  His body shook with gasping sobs as his brothers whispered reassurances the whole time, their own voices filled with the heartache they were feeling.  For a long time they held him, and only when his body succumbed to the pain and exhaustion did they finally release their hold on him.  In a state of half consciousness, Jarrod muttered, “Let’s go home.”

Wiping away tears, Nick grinned and said softly, “You got it, big brother.” He laid his hand on his Jarrod’s shoulder and let go a big sigh of relief.

Heath smiled down on him and patted him gently on the back and said quietly, “Just relax, we’ll get you home.”

Ever so slowly they checked Jarrod for injuries. They cleaned and bandaged his head and wrists and managed to wrap his ribs tight enough for the trip home.  They put him up on Nick’s horse and Nick slid in behind him mindful of his brother’s injuries.  Jarrod slumped back into his chest and Nick held on to him firmly, relishing the chance to hold him so close.  Heath watched Nick’s eyes fill with tears and turned back to get Jingo’s reins and mount his own horse. As he rode even with Nick, he touched his older brother’s back and said sympathetically, “Let’s go home Nick.”  Nick only nodded and spurred his horse into a slow walk.  It would take them longer to get home, but neither brother wanted to make the trip any more painful for Jarrod.

They traveled for a couple of hours and had to stop several times to give Jarrod some relief from the pain.  He remained quiet throughout the journey and Nick and Heath both wondered if their older brother had retreated back into his world of silence.  They finally hit the road for home and were met by Mother, Audra and Ruth in one of the buckboards.  Stopping only long enough to transfer Jarrod over to the heavily padded wagon, they continued the journey home.  Victoria knelt beside Jarrod while Ruth sat with his head in her lap as he drifted in and out of consciousness and both women shed tears for his safe return. Audra sat up front, as Heath drove the wagon, his arm wrapped around her in comfort.  Nick rode beside the wagon and watched the family ride for home, grateful they were all back together and hopefully on the road to recovery.  Nick was under no illusion that it would be easy, but his older brother’s silence had been lifted and his demons would have a voice.

Part 31

Heath stopped the wagon outside the stately mansion at full dark and after helping his sister down, went around and helped his mother down, while Nick helped Ruth.  Nick watched Jarrod struggle to sit up and jumped into the wagon to help his older brother.

“Easy there Jarrod, let me help you.” Nick put his hand under Jarrod’s back and lifted him to a sitting position.  Jarrod gasped at the strain on his ribs and the intense throbbing in his head, and took several seconds to regain his composure. Brushing off Nick’s help, he scooted to the edge of the wagon and swung his legs over the back.  He eased his feet to the ground and carefully tested his stability before he let go of the wagon. Jarrod was pale and sweaty from the effort and Heath eyed his brother carefully, ready to help if needed.  Jarrod’s movements were slow and every breath stabbed at his ribs.  Ruth rushed to his side and slipped under his arm and he draped it across her shoulders letting her share the burden. Heath grabbed his other side and the two of them managed to get him inside.  The family stayed close by as Jarrod made the slow descent up the stairs.  Almost to the top, Jarrod’s strength faded and both Heath and Ruth cried out, “Nick, help!”

Reaching around Ruth, Nick grabbed his older brother’s belt and held on until he could replace Ruth at Jarrod’s side. Between Nick and Heath, Jarrod was half carried to his room.  Ruth covered her mouth to stop her cry of alarm, and Victoria wrapped her arm around the young woman’s waist as the three women followed the brothers. Getting Jarrod settled, Victoria found Silas and issued orders for water and towels.  Nick knelt on the bed and unbuttoned his brothers shirt so they could clean him up and check his injuries. Jarrod’s face was clenched in pain and his breathing was forced and labored.  Heath helped him sit up and Nick leaned in to support Jarrod’s frame while Heath removed the shirt.  Nick held his older brother tenderly against his shoulder muttering words of reassurance, “Just try and relax, and we’ll get you cleaned up.”

Heath had just removed Jarrod’s shirt and cut away the wrap that bound his ribs, when Victoria and Audra gasped. Not just at the severity of bruising Jarrod had suffered but also at the degree of scarring on his back.  Victoria covered her mouth, and her eyes filled with unshed tears. Audra tried to stop her sobs, and had to turn her eyes away from the sight. Ruth, more used to his scars, went to Audra and consoled her young sister-in-law.  Victoria gathered her composure and wet one of the towels Silas had fetched and handed it to Heath. Using the towel, Heath cleaned up his brothers back of dirt and grime then helped Nick lie him down before doing the front.  Heath traded his mother for a clean towel and Jarrod grimaced as they rearranged him on the bed.  Heath watched Jarrod bite his lip to stop the groan that threatened to escape and leaning down, he whispered in his ear, “Don’t fight it big brother. You don’t have to be so quiet anymore. That’s my job, remember?”   Jarrod tried to smile, but failing, gave Heath a small bow of his head.

As tenderly as possible, Nick and Heath cleaned Jarrod’s battered face, but decided to leave the bandage over the bullet wound in place, lest it start bleeding again.  As they were finishing, Silas ushered Doc Merar into the room.  He smiled at the family and eyed his patient on the bed, “I’ve been seeing way to much of you lately Jarrod.  It was nice when at least one of you managed to stay out of trouble.”  The family smiled at the doctor’s reference to his more than frequent visits to mend either Nick or Heath.  Glad that his joke had relieved some of the tension, he shooed them out of the room so he could examine Jarrod, allowing only Ruth to aid him in the examination.  Knowing this would involve a hands on examination he wanted to make sure Ruth would be there for reassurance.  He’d had a long talk with Victoria regarding Jarrod several weeks ago and was well aware of the young man’s aversion to strangers.

“Okay Jarrod, let’s get this over with as quickly as possible.  Ruth can you sit in front of him so he can lean on you when I check those ribs.”  Ruth nodded and climbed on to the bed and waited while the doctor palpitated Jarrod’s stomach and ribs.  Jarrod’s breathing increased and the sweat was pooling on his chest as the doctor touched and prodded him. Finally satisfied, he helped Jarrod sit up.  Leaning against Ruth, Jarrod buried his head in her shoulder while the doctor worked.  Ruth heard an occasional gasp of pain, but he never cried out.  By the time the doctor was finished, Jarrod was exhausted and white from the strain.  Propping him up on a few pillows to ease his breathing, Jarrod drifted in and out of sleep, as the doctor cleaned his wrists and head wound.  Howard shook his patient awake and spoke to him, “Jarrod, you’re going to need a few stitches, but because of your head wound, I can’t give you any pain killer.  You think you can hold still for me?”

Jarrod nodded weakly, and found himself drifting off again, only to be awakened once more. “Come on Jarrod I need you to stay awake for me. I don’t want you jumping when I do this.  It will only take a few minutes.” Ruth reached out and took his hand as the doctor worked.  Jarrod didn’t even flinch when the stitches were put in, but Ruth felt him squeeze her hand a time or two.   Finally satisfied, Doc Merar patted his patients leg and spoke, “You’ll be fine Jarrod.” Turning to Ruth he added final instructions, “I want you to keep his wrists and that head wound clean and make sure he gets plenty of rest and fluids.  He has two broken ribs and I don’t want him moving around unless it is absolutely necessary for at least a week.” 

“Thank you doctor.” Ruth tried to get up to see him out but the doctor stopped her.

“You stay with your husband Mrs. Barkley, I’ll see myself out and inform the family how he’s fairing.”

Ruth nodded and watched him leave, grateful Jarrod had come through the whole episode with only broken ribs.  Taking a seat near his bed, Ruth watched him as he slept. 

Much later, Victoria entered with a tray of food, “I brought you some supper.”   Setting it down on the table, she reached across and lightly touched her son’s forehead checking for any sign of fever.  He was warm, but not overly so and Victoria breathed a sigh of relief.  Turning towards Ruth, she spoke, “You  need to eat dear.”

Ruth shook her head, “I’m not very hungry.”

“I know, but you really need to try and eat something. We can’t have you getting sick.” Victoria pulled a chair of her own close to the bed and sat with Ruth.  Victoria managed to get Ruth to eat,  and was satisfied to note that she finished most of the tray despite her protests about not being hungry. They sat silently for a long time, each lost in their own thoughts, before Victoria spoke quietly, “Have I ever told you how very grateful I am that Jarrod has you Ruth.  If two people were ever meant to be together it is you two.  Despite all that my son has been through, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so content as he is when he is with you.”

Victoria’s words brought tears to Ruth’s eyes and she couldn’t help but think about her recent thoughts on being with Jarrod. Noticing her daughter-in-laws sudden sadness, Victoria grew concerned, “What is it Ruth?”  Ruth shook her head, but Victoria remained persistent. “I can see that something is bothering you. Are you and Jarrod having any trouble?” She reached out and took Ruth’s hand and held it in her own, and looked at her sympathetically.

Wanting to reassure her mother-in-law, Ruth shook her head, “No, no nothing like that.”

“Then what is it dear?”

Ruth dropped her head to her chest, and when she lifted it, the threatening tears started to fall. Her voice broken as she spoke, “I would trade all... that I’ve shared with Jarrod... if he hadn’t had to suffer... at the hands of... my brother.”

“Oh Ruth, is that what you think? That you wouldn’t have Jarrod if he hadn’t had to go through all that.”  Ruth nodded through her tears and Victoria handed the young woman a handkerchief.  Grasping the hand she held tighter, Victoria made Ruth look at her as she spoke, “Jarrod would have ended up at your brother’s whether you were there or not.  I...no we...are grateful that you were there for him.” Victoria’s voice filled with sorrow as she continued, “You offered him more than anyone else did at a time when he needed it most.  You could have turned your back on him,” Ruth shook her head and Victoria gave her a small smile, “but you didn’t.  I honestly believe that without you, my son wouldn’t be where he is today.” Ruth wiped at her tears and tried to give Victoria a smile of thanks.

“You loved him even then didn’t you dear?”

Ruth looked at her mother-in-law with wide eyes, wondering how she could have guessed something like that.  Puzzled, she asked, “How did you know?”

Patting her hand, Victoria smiled, “When you talked about how you came to be together I could see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice.”

Blushing, Ruth explained. “When Jarrod helped me after my husband died, I was so very grateful to him.  The week he spent helping me was the best I’d had in a long time.  He was so nice and I really enjoyed just being with him. He treated me like I was a real person and I never forgot that. The day he put me on that stage, I wondered if I would ever be able to repay him for that simple act of kindness that he had shown me.  After I left, I would find myself thinking about his laughter or his smile or even that little mischievous gleam he would get in his eye.”  Realizing what she had just said, Ruth ducked her head in embarrassment.

Victoria smiled and patted her hand, “I know exactly what you mean dear.”  Victoria rose from her seat and placed her hand on Ruth’s shoulder as she turned to leave. “I will send Silas up with some tea.  I will be here later on to take your place and I want you to try and get some rest.” Ruth looked up ready to argue, took note of her mother-in-laws stern glance and nodded reluctantly. “Call if you need anything, dear.”

Ruth smiled gratefully, “Yes, Mother.” Victoria was caught off guard by Ruth’s endearment, and couldn’t stop the satisfied smile that graced her face.  Yes, her son was a very lucky man indeed.

Part 32

Ruth stayed with Jarrod and finally had to call on the family when it was apparent her husband was developing a fever.  The fever was rising, but had yet to reach a point where they had to resort to drastic measures to relieve it.  Jarrod stirred and moaned at the pain his sudden movements caused. Opening his eyes, Ruth reached out sympathetically and took Jarrod’s hot hand in her own.

Jarrod looked at her through glazed eyes and whispered hoarsely, “Hot.” His face was flush and he licked dryly at his lips.

Ruth poured a glass of water and lifted his head helping him drink as she spoke softly, “You have a fever sweetheart. That’s why you’re hot.”  Jarrod nodded, but his fever was keeping him from really understanding what was being said. He laid his head back and Ruth watched as his eyes closed against his will and he was soon dozing in a restless sleep.  The family watched over him, using cool towels in an attempt to bring his rising fever down.  It continued to rise and with the increase in fever came the delirium. 

Jarrod tossed and turned painfully, and cried out in his sleep, “Oh god, nooooooooo.” His family listened to his anguished pleas and as the fever rose, Jarrod fought harder against the demons invading his fever induced delirium.  Afraid Jarrod would hurt himself, Nick rushed forward and tried to stop his brother’s thrashing, with a soft, gentle voice, “Shhhh big brother. We ain’t gonna let nothin’ happen to you. You need to rest.”  Jarrod bucked wildly and screamed as Nick tried to restrain him.

Worried for Jarrod, Victoria raised her voice in alarm, “Nick, you have to hold him down or he’s going to hurt himself.”

Nick was straining to keep Jarrod on the bed and Heath joined in the effort as the two of them worked to pin their older brother to the bed. Even in his weakened state, Jarrod was a quite a match for the two of them. His screams grew louder and more terrified, “Nooooooo. Please! Not this. Oh God...don’t!” After several minutes, his body lost all it’s fight and Jarrod whispered in a small and desperate voice, “Please... don’t touch me.”  Jarrod’s eyes were wide with fear and tears rolled down his checks as he lay on the bed mumbling incoherently.  Shocked at Jarrod’s pleas, Nick stepped back from the bed and watched his older brother through moisture laden eyes as he fought back the rising nausea. Thankfully, Ruth hadn’t summoned Audra hours earlier and she still lay asleep in her room. The rest of the family was grateful she hadn’t had to witness Jarrod’s torment. 

Victoria tried to deny what she was hearing, hoping with all her heart that she was wrong, but one look at Heath’s tear stained face and she knew the sudden truth of what her oldest son has suffered. Tears coursed down her cheeks and she uttered painfully, “Oh dear God!”

Covering her mouth, she couldn’t stop the gasp of horror and Nick quickly gathered her in his arms. Wanting to comfort her, Nick was unable to find words that would erase the heart-wrenching truth, and simply held her close as they listened to Jarrod beg for relief from his captor.  Ruth sat beside him and cried tears for the man she loved, knowing more than any of them the truth of Jarrod’s humiliation.  Fighting the urge to flee her guilt, Ruth stayed by her husband’s side with her head bend in shame, lest she have to look his family in the eye.  Still sitting at his big brother’s side, Heath reached across and clasped his sister-in-laws hand.  Looking up reluctantly, Ruth stared into his saddened blue eyes and saw an understanding she wasn’t expecting and couldn’t stop the sob that escaped.  Ruth bowed her head in gratitude at his kindness and returned to bathing Jarrod in the cool clothes as he struggled in vain against the demons.  And so it went for several more hours, before the fever began to spike and fearing for Jarrod’s life they rushed him into the tub. 

Heath was puzzled by the glare that Nick kept casting his way as they helped Jarrod to the bathroom.  Ignoring it, Heath helped Nick get Jarrod undressed while Ruth and Victoria readied his bath.  Jarrod no longer resisted their efforts and his lack of struggle was disconcerting. His eyes were vacant and lost and he let them do what was needed without resistance.  Everything was done in silence as all of them were lost in their own thoughts and truly at a loss of words.  They removed all his bandages and thoroughly cleaned his wounds as they poured cup after cup of cool water over his scorching body.  They were all soaked by the time they changed the water for the fourth time and Jarrod’s body began shivering, a sign the fever had broken. Leaning over the edge of the tub, Jarrod’s eyes were closed in exhaustion.  His younger brothers lifted him carefully from the tub, and Jarrod was unable to stop the cry of pain despite their best efforts. Ruth and Victoria left them to fix Jarrod’s room with clean bedding.

Sitting Jarrod on the commode, Nick spoke quietly to him, “It’s okay big brother. We’ll get you dried off and dressed and you’ll be back in bed in no time.” Heath helped Jarrod into pajama pants and he and Nick picked Jarrod up and returned him to his room.  Before they laid him down to sleep, Victoria insisted on rewrapping all of his injuries.  Finally settled, Jarrod fell quickly into a fitful sleep.

Ruth went to sit beside him and was stopped by Victoria’s motherly voice of authority, “Ruth, why don’t you go change, and I’ll sit with him until you get back?” Ruth, suddenly realizing she was still wet, left to do as she was told, knowing that to argue would be pointless. Turning towards Nick and Heath, Victoria issued a similar command, “You two need to get out of those wet clothes and get some sleep.”

“You need some sleep too Mother, I’ll stay with him,” said Nick. 

“I’m fine son. I have no intention of leaving him tonight anyway. Besides the night isn’t over yet and we may need you again.  You will be of much better use if you’re rested.” Victoria’s tone brooked no argument and both men  nodded reluctantly, knowing full well that sleep wasn’t likely to come tonight.

Heath walked over and kissed her lightly on the cheek, “Are you alright Mother?”

“I’ll be fine son. Go get some rest.”

Heath stopped at Jarrod’s bedside and resting his hand on his chest, whispered, “Love you big brother.” Reluctantly he got up and headed towards the door. Turning back, he gave his mother a small smile, “Goodnight Mother.”

“Goodnight Heath.” Heath left, leaving only Nick and their mother.

“I’m gonna go down and get me a drink before bed, can I bring you anything Mother?”

Victoria reached out and held his arm as she spoke to him, very much aware of how Jarrod’s revelation had affected her middle son. “Are you okay, Nick?”  Tears gathered in Nick’s eyes and he shook his head, then wrapped his strong arms around her slight frame and buried his head in her shoulder. After several long moments, he released her and slightly embarrassed, wiped away his tears as Victoria did the same.

Squaring his shoulders, he stared at his older brother as he lay sleeping and uttered softly, “It don’t matter what they did to him, he’s still my brother. Nothin’ they did will change that.”

Victoria looked at him with a smile in her eyes, “Your father would be proud of you Nicholas.”

Nick smiled faintly and bid her goodnight, but not before taking a moment to talk to Jarrod. Leaning over Jarrod, he clasped his hand behind his neck and touched his forehead to his older brother’s and said in a soft, low tone, “You get better big brother. I love you.” Gently releasing his hold, he stared for a few seconds and strode quietly from the room.

Entering the study after a change of clothes, Nick was surprised to find Heath stroking the fire with a drink in hand.  Glaring at Heath as he entered, Nick fixed himself a drink, downed it and fixed another. Heath ignored Nick as he stood looking down into the fire and was surprised when Nick grabbed his arm and spun him around. Planting his hands on his hips, Nick glowered at Heath and spoke sternly, “You knew all along didn’t you?”

Heath pulled away from Nick’s glare and sat down in front of the fire, “I suspected as much.”

Nick leaned closer to Heath and scowled, “And you didn’t think it was important enough to tell us?”

Ignoring Nick’s temper, Heath lifted his gaze and responded softly, “Wasn’t my place.”

“What does that mean, it wasn’t your place?” said Nick angrily as he waited impatiently for an answer.

Heath’s own anger was steadily rising at  Nick’s accusations and he snapped at his older brother, “Just that Nick. It wasn’t my place to be tellin’ ya. That was up to Jarrod to tell ya, if he wanted you to know.”  Heath could see the hurt in Nick’s eyes and added softly, “How was I supposed to tell you somethin’ like that Nick?” 

Nick’s anger dissipated at Heath’s remorseful look and sighed,  “Aw hell Heath. I don’t know.” Nick started pacing to release his pent up emotions and sighed, “I just never expected something like...that!” Hesitating, Nick finally added, “That’s why he don’t want nobody  touchin’ him ain’t it?”

Heath only nodded and Nick was concerned by his younger brother’s haunted look.  Taking a seat on the table in front of Heath, Nick asked in a voice barely above a whisper, “Did you uh...did the same thing happen... ?” Nick couldn’t finish his question, but he got his answer when Heath dropped his head to his chest and released a heavy sigh.  Nick lost his composure and grabbing Heath’s neck pulled him to his chest. “Awwww little brother. Why didn’t ya say something?”

Heath pulled away from Nick’s  embrace and returned his stare to the fire and replied, “Same reason Jarrod didn’t I reckon.”

“That’s what you talked to him about on the train, ain’t it?” asked Nick.

Heath nodded but didn’t say anything, afraid if he tried to speak he would lose the precious control he had over his own emotions.

Nick turned and stared into the fire and inquired, “So what do we do for Jarrod?”

“Be there for him, big brother.” Heath’s voice dropped off as he added, “Just be there.” Nick put a comforting hand on his brother’s back and the two sat silently staring into the dying embers.

Part 33

Jarrod woke up slowly, his ribs making even breathing a difficultly.  He opened his eyes and squinted against the bright sunlight pouring into the room.  He frowned in pain at the harshness of the light as he glanced around the room, but his face softened as his eyes dropped to the form kneeling at his bedside, with her head on the bed. Lost in sleep, she wasn’t even aware he had woken up. The effort of lifting his hand to touch his wife was both painful and exhausting, but clenching his teeth against the pain, he rested his hand on her head.  With a deep sigh, he closed his eyes and relished the feel of her silky hair beneath his fingers.  Jarrod stroked her hair for several minutes before Ruth began to stir. Stilling his hand, he hoped that she would remain asleep, yet wishing she would wake.  As if aware of his innermost thoughts, Ruth lifted her head and blinked sleepily, vaguely aware that the hand that was caressing her hair was now caressing her cheek. Turning into his hand, she kissed his palm and was rewarded with a small smile.  Blue eyes locked onto brown eyes as Jarrod spoke tenderly, “My precious one. I love you so much.”

Ruth blinked back her tears, hearing the love in her husband’s voice.  Since his return home, they had not had a chance to have a private conversation and these were his first real words directed at her.  Holding his hand to her cheek, Ruth rose up and sat with one knee on the bed beside Jarrod.  Looking back into his gaze she said passionately, “I love you too.”  Ever so carefully, Ruth leaned forward and touched her lips lightly to Jarrod’s.  As she leaned away from the kiss, Jarrod clasped her neck and held her to his lips as he fervently returned her kiss.  Only when it became painful to breath did he finally release her.  Flushed at the intensity of feelings his kiss had elicited, Ruth pulled back and was alarmed by the grimace on Jarrod’s face.  “Are you okay?”

Jarrod wrapped his arm around his aching ribs and forced himself to relax.  Finally slumped into the mound of pillows, he closed his eyes and nodded.  As his features relaxed, Ruth smiled and said playfully, “Probably not your smartest move sweetheart.”

A small smile graced his face and he opened one eye, “No, it probably wasn’t.” He took her hand in his and grinned, “But it was worth it.” Ruth smiled as she shook her head at Jarrod’s lack of remorse.

Their moment alone was broken by the sound of knocking and they both glanced towards the door to see Victoria enter with a breakfast tray.  A smile graced her face when she realized Jarrod was awake and apparently feeling better. Setting the tray on the small table in the room, she went to her son’s side and kissed him lightly on the cheek.  Victoria was happy to note that despite his haggard appearance he was cool beneath her touch.  “Good morning Jarrod, Ruth.”

Jarrod smiled and greeted his mother, “Good morning Mother.”

Victoria spoke to Ruth, “I thought you might like a chance to freshen up this morning Ruth, while I sit with Jarrod.”

Ruth gave Jarrod a light kiss, earning her another of his smiles, and she told Victoria, “That sounds wonderful. I’ll see you both in a bit.” 

Jarrod noticed his mother eyeing him carefully, and patted her hand affectionately, “I’ll be fine Mother. Though I doubt Nick is going to get much work out of me for a least a couple of days.”  His lighthearted ribbing at his brother earned him a laugh from his mother.  Jarrod tried to straighten and as his face paled at the onslaught of pain, Victoria gently pushed him back down.

“I can guarantee that it will be longer than a couple of days before I even let you out of that bed young man,” admonished Victoria.  “Right now I want to see you eat something.”

The effort to stay awake was taking its toll and he shook his head as he replied, “No thank you Mother.  Maybe later.” 

Victoria, seeing the pain etched in his features, insisted, “I want you to take some of the medicine Howard left for the pain.  It will help you sleep better.”  She fixed him the medicine and helped him drink it despite his protests. “I’ll have Silas bring you some stew later.”  Jarrod grinned wryly at his mother’s determination and as the medicine took hold, he was no longer able to stay awake and drifted into a deep healing sleep.

****************************************************************************

Over the next week, Jarrod slept a lot and whenever he woke, he found either Ruth or one of the family watching over him.  On this particular day, it was his brother Heath that had elected himself to entertain his older brother.  They were playing poker and Heath had to fight for every hand he won. Gone was the easily readable face of the old Jarrod. In his place, sat a man that could mask his emotions as well as he could his own.  It was unnerving and Heath decided it was high time he and his older brother had a talk.

“Mind if we talk big brother?”

Jarrod looked at Heath with surprise, never expecting such words to come from his quiet and reserved younger brother.  Composing himself, Jarrod arched an eyebrow of inquiry, “What’s on your mind Heath?”

Looking at Jarrod, Heath hesitated before he replied reluctantly, “It’s more about what’s on your mind Jarrod.”

Jarrod frowned, “What do you mean?”

Heath moved to the end of the bed and sat facing Jarrod.  His arms rested on his raised knee and he fiddled with the button on his sleeve. Jarrod smiled at the unconscious habit his brother had when he was nervous.  Heath spoke quietly, “I just wanted you to know that if you need somebody to talk to, I’m here for you.”

Jarrod’s smile disappeared and he shook his head, “I don’t feel much like talking about it Heath.”

“Didn’t reckon ya would, but keepin’ locked in ain’t gonna do ya no good either.”

Jarrod bristled, “That’s like calling the kettle black, isn’t it?”

Heath shot him a lop-sided grin, “Yeah, I suppose it is, ain’t it?”  Jarrod was surprised by Heath candor, and watched him curiously.  Heath lifted his gaze and said with conviction, “I know what happens when ya keep it bottled up inside and I don’t want to see that happen to you Jarrod. Yer too good a man for that.”

Nick, who had been eavesdropping in the doorway, chose that moment to make his presence known. “I agree with Heath here.” Striding in to the room, Nick plopped down into the chair beside the bed and added to his younger brother’s sentiments. “We’re here for you Jarrod, ain’t nothin’ gonna change that.”

Jarrod’s face hardened and he glared at Nick, then said harshly,  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Nick leaned forward into his hands and scrubbed his hands through his dark hair with a sigh.  Lifting his head slowly, he locked his eyes on his older brothers as he sighed softly, “We know what happened to you Jarrod.”

Shocked by Nick’s words, Jarrod grabbed his ribs and sat up.  Shifting his weight to the edge of the bed he tried to stand.  Before Nick or Heath could get to him, Jarrod made it unsteadily to his feet. As his brothers approached, Jarrod warned them off with a darkened, angry look. His words were no less furious, “You don’t know anything Nick!”  Panting from the excursion, Jarrod’s look dared his brothers to refute his words. His eyes darted angrily from Nick to Heath.

It was Heath who finally spoke up. His voice was sympathetic as he told Jarrod, “When you had that fever, you pretty much spelled it out for ‘em.”

Stunned by Heath’s revelation, he grabbed onto the bed to steady himself, “Oh god, not Mother and Audra too.”

Rushing to Jarrod’s side, Nick grabbed him and helped him sit on the edge of the bed.  Jarrod’s whole frame slumped in despair and Nick dropped down to squat in front of him as Heath moved closer to kneel beside him.  Nick said reassuringly, “Audra didn’t hear any of it, Jarrod.”

Jarrod lifted his head sharply, his eyes were wide as he asked with alarm, “But Mother did?”

Nick closed his eyes and gave him a quick bow of his head.  Jarrod exploded off the bed and pushed Nick aside as he tried to flee the room.  Heath moved with amazing speed and headed him off at the door.  Grabbing his arm, Heath pulled Jarrod back into the room but he wasn’t quick enough to dodge Jarrod’s outstretched hand as he grabbed onto Heath’s neck.  Struggling to breath in his brother’s hold, Heath recognized the look in his older brother’s eyes and knew he was no longer in the here and now.  Nick did his best to plead with Jarrod to release Heath, but his older brother refused to let go, unaware that Nick was even there.   Heath tried to strong arm his way out of Jarrod’s grip, but the lack of oxygen was depleting his strength.  Noticing the blueness creep into Heath’s face, Nick did the only thing he could think off.  Lifting his hand. he brought it down on Jarrod’s sore ribs, tempering his blow so it only got Jarrod’s attention and didn’t further damage the healing ribs.  The effect was immediate and Jarrod dropped to his knees at the explosion of pain in his side.  Gasping for breath, he held his ribs and tried to will away the all too familiar pain. 

Nick fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around his brother as he cried, “I’m sorry big brother. I didn’t want to hurt ya like that.”  Looking over Jarrod’s shoulder, Nick cast Heath a concerned look.  Heath was in his own struggle for air and it took sometime before he gave Nick the look of okay he was waiting for.  Nick turned his empathy back to his older brother and reassured him, “It don’t matter Jarrod. Nothin matters but you bein’ back where you belong.  We’ll get through the rest of it, I promise.”

Jarrod lifted his head up, and looked at Nick through red-rimmed eyes, his face desolate.  His voice hoarse and broken as he spoke, “How can you say that Nick, knowing what they did to me?”

Heartbroken by his brother’s admission, Nick grabbed Jarrod by both arms and held him as he looked him in the eye, his own tears threatening to fall. “Would you do any less for me...” Tilting his head towards Heath, he added, “or for Heath?”

Turning his head to look at Heath, Jarrod saw nothing but love in his younger brother’s eyes.  Heath scooted closer to the pair and spoke softly to his oldest brother, “What happened ain’t gonna change what we feel for ya Jarrod.  Yer always gonna be our big brother.”  Jarrod listened to Heath’s heartfelt words and turned back towards Nick for confirmation.  Kneeling in front of him, Nick nodded reassuringly to him and Jarrod’s resolve collapsed with a single indrawn breath of air.  Nick watched Jarrod give in and pulled him towards his chest and held his head in comfort.  Heath sat beside them and rubbed slow circles of comfort on his brother’s back as Jarrod released his torment in great gulps.

“I couldn’t stop him...I tried so hard to make it stop...It went on for days.”  Nick was no longer able to hold back his emotions and cried silent tears of anguish as Heath tried to console Jarrod, his own emotions too near the surface to hold back.

“There was nothing you could have done big brother.  You got nothin’ to be ashamed of.”  Startled by his own revelation, Heath’s head dropped to Jarrod’s shoulder as his own burden of guilt and shame were lifted by the truth of his words.  They sat for some time on the floor as some of Jarrod’s demons let loose their hold on him.  

Jarrod stirred in his brother’s arms and said in a tired voice, tinted with mirth, “You better get me back in bed before Mother gets home or she’ll have your hide for letting me out of bed.”

Nick pulled back from the trio, sat back on his haunches and planted his hands on his thighs. Glaring at his older brother’s audacity, he howled, “We did not let you out of bed!”  Heath snickered at how easily Jarrod could put a spur in Nick and was rewarded with his own glare, “You ain’t getting’ out of this so easy, little brother. She ain’t gonna be any easier on you than she is me, if we don’t get him settled before she gets back.”

Heath lost his smile, and took his place at Jarrod’s side and helped Nick lift him to his feet.  Between the two of them they got him settled into bed and sat as their older brother drifted towards an exhausted sleep.  Just before he lost the fight, Jarrod looked his brothers in the eye and said sleepily, “A man couldn’t ask for better brothers than you.” If he’d been able to hold his eyes open any longer, he would have noticed the smiles that graced his brother’s faces.

Part 34

Jarrod lay in the darkness that night, with Ruth beside him. It was comforting to have her back by his side as he slept at night.  He wished his ribs allowed for closer contact, but Ruth remained adamant about keeping her distance, worried she might hurt him. 

He whispered softly, “Ruth, are you awake?”

“Um uh.”

“Why didn’t you tell me they knew?”

Rolling closer, Ruth carefully snuggled against him, “I didn’t know how to tell you. I wasn’t sure how you would react.” Rubbing his chest as she added, “I was afraid of what you might do and I didn’t want you to hurt your ribs again. Why?”

Jarrod rubbed her bare arm as it lay across his chest,  and his voice sounded distant as he replied, “They wanted to talk about it the other day.”

Ruth pressed closer to him and said with sorrow, “Oh Jarrod, I’m so sorry.  I should have said something.”

Jarrod sighed loudly, “I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“Did it help to talk about it?”

Ruth waited for him to say something, but he never did. Finally she began speaking in hushed tones, the darkness seeming to make everything so much louder. “My mama used to tell me that the things that are the most important to us are usually those things that are the hardest to talk about.  She said that words can’t always tell the listener just how important something really is. Something that is so important that to even speak about it brings tears to our eyes may seem trivial to someone else.  The importance of it is somehow lost when we say the words. That fear is what makes finding the words so hard.”

Jarrod kissed her forehead and said sincerely, “Your mother was a wise woman.”

Ruth asked her original question, “Did it help to talk about it?”

Jarrod grinned at his wife’s tenacity, then his voice dropped as he replied, “Maybe a little. I’m sorry they found out, but I admit that it doesn’t seem quite as important as it did before.”

“Maybe because it wasn’t so important to them as you feared it would be.”

The room was silent for several minutes before Jarrod finally uttered, “I don’t think your mother was the only wise one.  You have a wisdom all your own, my precious one.”

Remaining silent, Ruth’s heart skipped a beat and she blushed at his praise.  Her heart soared at the special name he’d bestowed upon her and hoped it would forever be hers.  Tracing light circles around his abdomen,  she continued to tease him, moving her hand ever lower.  As she reached his waistband and he sucked in some air, she knew she had his attention.  Grabbing her hand, Jarrod tried to still her movement.  Ruth whispered, “Just relax and let me do this for you. Please.  I want so badly to just be able to touch you.”  Jarrod sighed and slowly released his grip to let her continue.

Ruth sighed in relief as he released her hand and she moved her fingers to the skin just under his pajamas.  Not quite touching his manhood, she could tell by the tautness of his pants that he was already in a full state of arousal. Leaving his pants in place she slipped her hand farther down, ever careful not to actually touch him.  The effect on Jarrod was obvious.  Moving past his throbbing member, she caressed his thigh and rubbed her hand closer and closer to his soft sac beneath his throbbing manhood.  When she brushed against it, Jarrod gasped at the contact.  His movement was severely limited by his sore ribs, and it only seemed to heighten the sensation.  Tenderly enclosing his balls, Jarrod had to bite back a groan of pleasure as Ruth rolled the orbs around with her fingers.  Jarrod moaned, "Oh god, Ruth. Do you know what you're doing to me?"

Ruth smiled and continued to squeeze and caress his sac.  When she removed her hand, Jarrod gasped and moaned at the lose of contact and muttered desperately, "Oh please, don't stop!"  Barely did he get the words out and she touched the base of his manhood. Jarrod drew in a deep ragged breath as her touch sent fire through him.  Ever so slowly she traced the vein that ran the length of his hardness until she got to the tip.  Using the moisture that was already leaking out, she rubbed the tip teasingly slow.  As she traced the ridge of his member Jarrod threw his head back and moaned with pleasure, his arousal jutting upward in response to her light caresses.  Removing her hand from his pants, Jarrod lay breathless and waited, afraid if he tried to speak it would come out as a whimper.  Ruth pulled on his waistband and Jarrod wasted no time lifting himself up enough so she could remove his pants.  It was Ruth's turn to gasp as she rested her eyes upon him. Engorged with blood, his manhood stood impressive it all its glory.  It amazed her that something so big around could fit inside of her and that thought alone brought wetness to her own core. Reminding her self that this was for Jarrod and not for herself, she calmed herself to the  task.  Tracing her finger down his length, she grasped the base and squeezed gently. Unable to arch his back, Jarrod thrashed his head from side to side at the sensations her touch elicited. His breathing came in gasps and his voice was hoarse with desire, as she slowly began to stroke him, "I'm...not...gonna...last."

Ruth could no longer fight her own rising desire and moved so she could use his thigh to relieve the painful throbbing at her core.  As she moved her hand faster, her own body rubbed against his leg. Feeling her wetness touch his skin, almost took Jarrod over the edge, but he fought the urge and lifted his leg, grinding it against Ruth.  Her own moan of pleasure and impending release send a surge of blood through his manhood.  "Oh god Ruth, faster. Please, faster!"  Ruth's hand stroked faster as she rubbed against him furiously.  Unable to stop her climax, Ruth tensed at the impending explosion and buried her head in his side as she tried to muffle the scream that came with her release.  The only thing stopping Jarrod from following was the grip that she still had upon him.  Throwing his head back at the painful pleasure that coursed through him, he trembled with desire as he waited for her to relax. 

As she began to recover, she was ashamed at her lack of control. Breathless she stuttered,  "Oh god Jarrod. I'm so sorry."

His body shook with desire and he felt her hand relax and he couldn't help the sudden gasp for air. His voice was barely a whisper as he pleaded, "Please Ruth! Move your hand faster. I need you."  Ruth resumed her efforts but teased him with slow even strokes.  His thrashing started and Ruth knew he wouldn't last much longer and she used her other hand to grab his sac as she stroked his member.  Gasping for air, and trying to thrust into her hand, Jarrod was desperate for release as he begged, "Faster, oh god Ruth faster."  Covering her hand with his own, he guided her movements to a furious pace and his thrusting became erratic in his struggle for release.  As she held his sac, she felt it pull up in her grasp and then felt him tense beneath her hands.  His hand left hers and he grasped the bed sheets in a knuckle white grip as his hips shot off the bed.  Still stroking his member,  Ruth almost came again as Jarrod practically screamed his release, "OH God......... Ruth!!!!"

The fire burned from deep inside and he felt it erupt in a sporadic stream as he shot his seed forth to coat his belly.  Collapsing onto the bed his hips continued to thrust into Ruth's hand as she milked him dry.  As he finished his release, his body surrendered in one final shudder and Jarrod couldn't stop the groan of satisfaction. His breathing was labored and Ruth was suddenly fearful that she might have caused his ribs further damage.  Moving up to his side, she asked worriedly, "Jarrod, are your ribs okay? I'm so sorry, I should..." 

Ruth didn’t get to say anymore as he lifted a still shaky finger to her lips and smiled, “What ribs?” Sighing in relief, Ruth snuggled close to his side and it wasn’t long before they both drifted into sleep.

*******************************************************************************

 

Three weeks into his convalescence, Jarrod found out that Tim Keller would be having a hearing to determine if he was mentally capable to stand trial, and the days leading up to the trial created a tremendous amount of anxiety for Jarrod.  As much as Tim Keller deserved justice, Jarrod would have much rather the man spent the remainder of his days in an asylum rather than go to trial.  A trial meant a public inquiry and the thought of having everyone hear of the details of his torture, was more than a private man like Jarrod could bear.  The condition of Tim Keller was sketchy at best, but from what Jarrod had been able to find out, the man had withdrawn into his own private shell.  The presiding judge insisted Jarrod be at the hearing and that only added to his increasing anxiety.  He had no desire to ever see Keller again let alone be in the same room with him.  Where at one time he may have been sympathetic to a man’s whose sister had suffered such a tragedy, Tim Keller had taken his revenge to a higher demented state, and Jarrod could find no mercy for the man.

Jarrod wasn’t sleeping well, but tried hard to keep it from Ruth. As with most nights recently, he pretended sleep and waited until her breathing evened out, letting him know she had drifted off.  Carefully easing himself from their bed, he put on his pants and a shirt, not bothering to button it and slipped from the room.  Making his way downstairs to the study, he stoked the fire before adding some logs. The room wasn’t cold, but there was a little chill and the fire’s heat was comforting.  He sat near the fire, nursing a glass of scotch and he was only vaguely aware that his mother had entered the room as he stared at the blue wisps of flame as they danced across the logs.

Victoria wasn’t surprised to see her oldest sitting before the fire as she came into the room.  She’d heard him get up and would have been more surprised if he hadn’t been here.  It was a habit he’d acquired years ago whenever he needed to resolve some inner conflict.  Taking her place beside him, she inquired softly, “Anything you want to talk about Jarrod?”

Jarrod glanced sideways and gave her a wistful smile, “I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

Placing her arm in his, Victoria replied, “Are you worried about the hearing?”

“No…yes…” Jarrod shrugged in confusion, his eyes staring into the fire. “I don’t know.  I’d rather not have to deal with it at all.”

“Running from it won’t make it go away, son.”

“No, but it would be easier,” smirked Jarrod.

Resting her hand on his arm, Victoria told him, “Nothing worth doing is ever easy.”

Jarrod turned and looked at his mother with a small smile, “You sound like Ruth.”

Victoria grinned at the comparison, “She is quite a remarkable young woman Jarrod.  I thank God everyday that you have someone as special as her to help you through all this.”

“So do I Mother.  She is someone I never expected to find again.” Lost in thought for a few seconds, his voice spoke of his love for Ruth, “When I met her that first time, I was captivated by her. Despite her recent loss, she still maintained a sense of humor. I regretted that day I put her on the stage, knowing I would probably never see her again.”

“You loved her even then didn’t you son?” said Victoria matter-of-factly.

“Yes, I suppose I did.”  Reflecting on the past, Jarrod’s features suddenly saddened and he sighed, “I didn’t know who she was when I met her that second time, but there was something inside of me that told me I could trust her.”  His voice dropped as he continued, “I never would have made it out of there without her, Mother, and not just because she helped me escape.”  Jarrod blinked a few times and Victoria could see how difficult it was for him to speak of his captivity.  Remaining silent, she let him compose himself.  Once again under control, Jarrod spoke, “She took care of me and showed me compassion at a time when I needed it most.”  Jarrod looked at his mother and said with conviction, “I never would have survived without her.  She is what allowed me to keep my sanity.”

Victoria tried to hold back her tears of sorrow for her eldest son, but they spilled over and fell down her cheek.  “I wish you had never had to go through what you did son.  It is hard for a mother to see her children suffer, no matter how old they get.”

Jarrod patted his mother’s hand in reassurance, “I’m fine now Mother, and every day gets a little easier.”  Seeing his mother’s sadness, Jarrod added lightly as he changed the subject, “I wonder if I can get my younger brother to give me a weekend off. I would like to take my wife to San Francisco for a belayed honeymoon.  It wouldn’t be much, but it would be nice to spend some time together. Just the two of us.”

Smiling, Victoria chuckled, “I think Nick can be persuaded to do anything involving Ruth. He seems to have a soft spot where she is concerned.”

His eyes gleamed as he laughed, “I think you may be right about that Mother.” 

Victoria’s eyes sparkled as she heard the first genuine laugh from her son since his return home.  “Why don’t you plan on leaving right after the hearing son.  I’m sure the time away will do you some good.”

Jarrod stood up and looked down at her with a smile,  “That sounds like an excellent idea Mother.  Now I just need to convince Ruth.”

 

It was Victoria’s turn to laugh, “I somehow don’t think that will be much of a problem.”

Jarrod helped her to her feet and they headed towards the door as he responded, “Neither do I Mother...neither do I.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

Three days later Jarrod and Ruth were headed to San Francisco via his private rail car.  Despite Jarrod’s fears, the hearing went almost too smoothly to even believe.  Keller’s lawyer presented such a convincing picture of Tim Keller’s present mental instability that the judge agreed that no trial would be necessary as long as the man remained in the state institution for the mentally unstable.  If he were ever to recover, he would then be accountable for his actions. Keller’s lawyer assured the judge that he didn’t think that was likely to be any time soon.  Jarrod’s relief was palpable as he left the courtroom that day surrounded by his family.  It was a turning point in Jarrod’s recovery and he felt a lightness he hadn’t felt in months.  Turning towards his wife he whispered, “You and I have the whole weekend to ourselves and I plan to make the most of it.”

Jarrod was surprised at the evil grin she gave him, “Oh me too Jarrod…me too!”  Stunned by her response he stopped in his tracks and had to hurry to catch up with her, “Hey what do you mean by that?”  He grew even more curious when all he got for an answer was a laugh…

Part 35

As soon as they boarded the train, Ruth set her plan into motion.  Jarrod was still wary of her touch, and Ruth was going to take advantage of the situation and hopefully by the end of the weekend he would welcome her caresses as much as she welcomed his.  She took some time after they boarded to freshen up and in no time at all she joined Jarrod for a bite to eat, thankful he had planned ahead and had a meal delivered when they boarded.  Jarrod was in no way prepared for the plans that Ruth had for that weekend.

Sitting at the small table eating fried chicken, Jarrod couldn’t take his eyes off of Ruth as she licked and sucked the juices off her fingers.  His eyes widened and his body responded to the eroticism of such an innocent action.  She continued her normal chatter, seemingly oblivious to what she was doing to him.  Watching as she inserted her thumb into her mouth, he suppressed a moan as she pulled it out ever so slowly, making sure to get all of the chicken off.  Shifting in his seat to relieve some of his discomfort, Ruth used her napkin to hide the smile that graced her face. 

Leaning across the table, Ruth pointed to the bowl of fresh strawberries, “Can you hand me that please.”

Jarrod stuttered, “Uh...sure.”  When she took the bowl from him, she lightly brushed his fingers and Jarrod was sure he could feel a tingle of electricity pass between them.  Taking the strawberries from him, she then asked, “Oh, pass me the cream. I just love cream with my strawberries.”  Jarrod did as he was asked and tried to ignore the fact that his hand shook slightly as he handed her the cream.

“Thank you.”  Ruth took a single strawberry and dipped it in the cream.  Lifting it to her mouth, she paused to lick the cream that ran down the side of the strawberry. Pursing her lips and closing her eyes, she sighed sensuously, “Mmmmm, that tastes so good.” 

Jarrod couldn’t stop the hitch in his breath and couldn’t have looked away even if he’d wanted to.  His  hand automatically dropped beneath the table as he tried to rearrange the ever tightening material of his pants.  His eyes were completely focused on her mouth as she slowly consumed the strawberry, cream and all.  When his eyes finally found hers, he found them staring intently at him, and he realized that she wasn’t as innocent as he had first believed.  Her eyes burned with a  desire that rivaled his own.  Getting up from the table she grabbed the strawberries and cream and sauntered over to the chaise lounge by the window. With a look over her shoulder she beckoned him with a voice that dripped with seduction, “Care to join me?”

Too stunned to move for a moment, he watched her sit and start in on yet another strawberry.  Instead of licking the cream off this time, she stuck the whole tip into her mouth and sucked the thick cream off the ripe fruit.  Unable to stop himself, he jerked at the sensations that flowed through him and he was quickly seated beside her, mesmerized by her actions.  He was even more surprised when she set the strawberries down and dropped down to kneel between his legs. Looking up into his eyes, she could see they were dark with desire and she took a deep breath to calm her own emotions.

Kneeling between his legs, she rubbed his calves as she spoke hesitantly, all of a sudden a little unsure of her brashness, “I know you’re uncomfortable sometimes with my caresses, but I want so badly to show you how much I love you.”  Her touch on his calves was driving him to distraction and all he could do was nod weakly at her words as she added, “I want this weekend to be a chance for us Jarrod.  For me to help you get over that fear.”  With a seductive smile she told him, “By the end of this weekend, I’m hoping you’ll be begging me to touch you.”

In his present state, all Jarrod managed was a groan.

Ruth slowly slid her hands up from his calves toward his thighs and watched as Jarrod leaned his head back and closed his eyes.  Eyeing his groin, it was pretty obvious he was excited by her actions.  His erection burgeoned against his pants and Ruth ran a fingernail along the length of it.  Jarrod gripped the edges of the lounge and moaned in pleasure at her touch.  Rising up on her knees, Ruth leaned in and slowly undid the buttons of his shirt with one hand while she used the other to trace Jarrod’s erection through his pants.  His breathing increased, and he couldn’t stop the urge to arch towards her hand.  With his shirt unbuttoned, Ruth moved both hands to his chest and caressed him in broad circles. Feeling him flinch under her touch, she said softly with authority, “Look at me Jarrod, see that it’s me.”

Lifting his head and opening his eyes, Jarrod watched as Ruth’s hands played up and down his chest and abdomen.  Her fingers stopped their caress and rested near his nipples, and he unwillingly found himself holding his breath.  Tenderly, she reached out and made lazy circles around the darkened nubs.  Jarrod gasped at the sensation, and watched as she leaned forward and flicked her tongue across the taut nipple.  He tried to pull her into his arms, but Ruth resisted his efforts and pushed him back into the seat. “Just keep your eyes open and watch me, my love.” 

Ruth slid her mouth across to the other nub and lavished it with her tongue as her hand dropped once more to his waistline.  The contact burned like fire and Jarrod jerked at the sudden sensations.  Unbuckling his belt, Ruth slowly unbuttoned his pants and Jarrod all but sighed in relief as his erection was suddenly freed from the confining material.  “Ahhhhhh...,”  moaned Jarrod as he threw his head back.  Ruth pulled at his waistband and Jarrod lifted his hips enough for her to pull his pants down.  Jarrod watched in fascination as Ruth slid her tongue around the crown of his engorged erection.

“Oh god, you don’t know what you are doing to me,” muttered Jarrod, his voice husky with desire.

Glancing upward, Ruth smiled and ran her tongue down the vein on the underside of his manhood. Jarrod’s hands grabbed the couch in a death grip as he fought to hold onto to what control he had left. His chest heaved as he tried to get some much needed air into his lungs.  Resting her hand on his hard abdomen, Ruth used her other hand to grasp the base of his erection and guide it to her mouth.  Enclosing just the tip of the large head, she used her tongue to caress the crown.  Jarrod fought the urge to thrust, as he held his breath at the onslaught of emotions, only releasing air when she began to take more of him into her mouth.  Using her hand, she wrapped it around his erection and stroked him as she slid her mouth up and down his shaft.  The movement of the train served to  push him in and out of her mouth and Jarrod knew he wasn’t going to last.  Sucking and stroking him to the edge, Ruth suddenly released him and sat back.  With the warmth of her mouth gone, Jarrod jerked upright panting for air.  His eyes were wild with desire as he questioned her with his eyes, unable to speak all of a sudden.  Ruth smiled mischievously as she took the bowl of cream and slowly drizzled it over his throbbing member.  The coolness of the cream on his superheated erection, brought forth a loud groan from Jarrod, and his head fell backward in pleasure. Calling him back to her, Ruth insisted he keeps his eyes upon her actions.  His whole body shook in anticipation as he watched her lower her head and begin licking and sucking the cream off his overly sensitive skin.  He was powerless to stop her and once again melted into the cushions as she removed every drop of the milky substance.  With every suck or lick, his erection jutted towards her, straining for more contact.  Three more times she covered him in cream, and three more times she licked him clean.  When she finally engulfed him in her mouth, Jarrod was past the point of no return.  Grasping her head lightly, he no longer fought the urge to thrust, and made small movements into her mouth as she sucked him deep into her mouth.  The more he thrust, the more she tried to take in.  His moans of satisfaction, turned her on incredibly, and she reached under him and took his sac in her hand.  Rolling his balls with her fingers, Jarrod stiffened and felt the burn of desire begin in the pit of his belly and he thrust his hips upward, needing his release. 

Ruth felt him grow even larger in her mouth as he grasped her and held her as he thrust harder and faster.  His breathing came in gasps as he shouted, “OH GODDDDDDDDDDDD!”  Holding his breath,  he arched sharply, and Ruth instinctively began to swallow as he shot his seed down her throat.   Ruth swallowed and sucked until he stopped thrusting and his soft member slipped from her mouth.  She smiled up at him, as he lay back trying to suck in air, his sweat-soaked chest heaving at the effort.  Rising from the floor, she moved to sit beside him and traced a fingernail along his abdominal muscles and watched in satisfaction as they rippled beneath her touch. Jarrod shuttered and moaned weakly, “Oh my precious one.  I love you so much.”  Pulling her into his embrace, he held her close as he closed his eyes and basked in the feel of her next to him. They sat for several minutes, when the train whistle sounded, signaling their arrival in San Francisco.  Both of them jumped in surprise, and after of few seconds of panic, Jarrod shakily got dressed while Ruth went to freshen up once again. 

It was full dark by the time they left the train depot.  Jarrod had hired an enclosed carriage for the half hour ride to his townhouse, knowing the ride would be much cooler this time of year.  Once inside the privacy of the carriage, Jarrod began showering Ruth with light kisses.  Her own desires were still too near the surface and Jarrod quickly realized she was putty in his hands.  Sitting more sideways on the seat he pulled her legs into his lap and ran his hand across her dress covered thighs at the same time he kissed her neck with tender kisses.  Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her close and slowly eased her dress up so he could have access to her heated core.  As he lifted her dress and realized she had forgone her pantaloons and was naked but for her petticoats. The thought shot a pointed message to his groin.  Feeling his growing erection, Ruth tried to push against him, her own body aching for release.  She whimpered against his shoulder as his hand pressed between her legs and began moving towards the apex of her thighs.  Slipping his hand upwards, he drew in a breath as he felt the wetness coating her womanhood.  Dropping his head, he captured her lips, letting his tongue force its way into her mouth as a finger played with her nub.  She moaned into his mouth and he kissed her passionately as he rubbed his finger in ever faster circles.  Releasing her mouth, he kissed her neck and throat and tried to get to her breasts with his mouth as his fingers continued to pleasure her.  Nipping at her tight peaks through the material of her dress, he slowly inserted a finger into her moist center and felt his erection strain against her leg as she pushed down to deepen the contact. Urged on by her motions, Jarrod inserted another finger while he used his thumb to play with her blood filled center of pleasure.   Ruth buried her head into Jarrod’s chest as she fought the urge to scream at the rising tide of sensations.  Letting her thrust onto his hand, he increased the motion of his thumb as he felt her tighten around his fingers.  Holding herself tightly to his fingers, Jarrod felt the quiver of her climax and she started to scream his name, “JAR...!”  He captured her mouth in his and silenced her scream with a crushing kiss.  She quivered around his fingers, before finally slumping against him, breathless.  Jarrod’s was panting for release of his own, when suddenly the carriage stopped, signally their arrival at his townhouse.  Ruth quickly straightened her dress and tried to make herself presentable.  Jarrod’s problem was much more obvious and was hoping that his jacket and the darkness would cover his huge erection.  Exciting the carriage, Jarrod kept Ruth in front of him as he instructed the driver he would get the baggage.  Retrieving their few items, he made sure he paid the driver, then grabbing the bags, followed after Ruth at a brisk, but painful walk. 

Ruth waited at the door for Jarrod, and when he stepped up beside her, she moved around behind him and reaching forward, slipped her hands into his pockets.  She asked playfully, “Do you have your keys my love?” Her hands dug deep into his pockets and she grasped his rock hard member through the material.  His erection seemed to grow beneath her hands as he gasped, “Ruth, please let go or I’m going to embarrass myself right here.”

She chuckled softly, “Oh you don’t know how much of a thrill that would be to see you lose control like that.”

Jarrod’s head dropped and he used every ounce of control not to lose control at the sound of her words.  She was driving him crazy and he wanted nothing more than to pound into her until he found his release.  As if sensing his new level of control, Ruth reluctantly released him so he could open the door.  She was unprepared for his reaction as soon as the door shut behind them.  Dropping the bags on to the floor, Jarrod grabbed his wife and pushed her back into the door.  His body pressed tightly against her as he rubbed his erection against her core.  Taking her mouth in his, he pushed his tongue into her mouth and ravished her with it.  Caught up in Jarrod’s recklessness, Ruth returned his kiss with equal fervor.  As he kissed her, he found the buttons at the front of her dress and tried to release them with shaking hands.  Frustrated by the slowness, he grabbed the material and forced the dress open, sending the few remaining buttons flying.  Pulling it to off her shoulders he let it drop to the floor and buried his cloth covered erection against her wet center.  Ruth clawed at his jacket and slipped it off his shoulders, then tried to remove his shirt.  Jarrod pulled back from her enough to unclasp his pants. In one quick motion, he removed his pants and his shoes and stood before her naked but for his shirt.  Wanting to be able to see and touch his bare skin, Ruth quickly worked the buttons as he played with her breasts.  Finally done, Jarrod pulled his shirt off and crushed his chest to hers as he thrust his erection into her belly.  Panting harshly with desire he lifted her leg and grabbing his hardened erection, he found her opening and in one thrust pushed himself deep inside her.

Ruth screamed as he penetrated her, “OHHHHHHHHHH JARROD!!”  He held her tightly against the door, his head buried in her shoulder and didn’t move, relishing in the feel of her warmth as it surrounded his member.  Ruth was frantic in her own desire and pleaded, “Move! I need you to move!”

Urged on by her cries, Jarrod slowly eased himself out and thrust sharply back into her several times.  Wanting to feel more of him next to her, Ruth wrapped her legs around his hips and lowered herself down on to him,  causing his erection to push  even deeper.  His large blood filled erection filled her completely and she sighed in satisfaction, driving Jarrod even further over the edge. Taking her mouth in his once again, he thrust his tongue into her mouth as he thrust his member into her core.  Ruth wrapped he arms around him and dug her fingers into his back. Their bodies screamed for release as he pounded into her, frantic for relief from the painful pleasure that overtook them.  His thrusts became erratic as he neared release and when he felt her tighten around him,  his body thrust faster and harder in response to her eminent climax.  When she screamed his name, signaling her release, he held down on her hips as he thrust upward sharply, his breaths coming in grunts as he rammed himself into her.  With one final thrust, his body tensed as the fire raced through him and he exploded inside of her as her own contractions milked his erection.  In a final attempt to finish, Jarrod’s body thrust weakly a few more times before his legs gave out and he fell to the floor, still buried deep inside of Ruth.  Making no move to remove himself, Ruth buried her head against his heaving chest and tried to catch her own breath.  Holding her with one arm, he had to use the other to steady himself, afraid they would both crash to the floor if he didn’t.  With his legs outstretched and Ruth still straddling him, he felt his member begin to soften and he sighed in satisfaction.  When Ruth leaned in and licked some of the sweat from his chest, he chuckled softly, “I am going to need at least a little rest before I can do justice to you, my precious.”

Ruth lifted her head and said with a twinkle in her eye, “I’ll wait, but not for long.”

Jarrod groaned and eased himself back to lie on the floor. Looking up at her as she sat above him, he smiled mischievously,  “Where have you been hiding?”

Ruth laughed and Jarrod felt a slight stir in his groin as he watched her round breasts jump at her laughter, “I’ve been here all along and by the end of this weekend you will let me come play whenever I want.”

Holding Ruth in his lap as the sat on the floor of his foyer, Jarrod said breathlessly, “You have no idea what you do to me.  I would do anything in my power to make you happy.”  Lifting her head with a  tender touch of his hand, his blue eyes looked deep into her brown ones and he said sincerely, “You know that don’t you?”  Ruth nodded and they shared a tender kiss before Jarrod helped her to her feet and carried her up the stairs to bed. 

By the following Monday morning,  Ruth was correct when she predicted that Jarrod would beg for her touch before the weekend was out. Her constant attention, combined with his own desire, made it impossible for Jarrod to deny his need of her caresses.   In fact, he only made until Saturday night before Ruth got her wish and he happily spent Sunday returning the favor.

They telegraphed the family informing them they would be spending an extra week in San Francisco.  Jarrod was as carefree as Ruth had ever seen him, and but for a few instances he thoroughly enjoyed his time in the city with his wife.  He bought her clothes and jewelry and took her out to eat at all the finest restaurants.  The went to the opera, the theatre and visited several museums, but they had the best time when it was just the two of them.  It took them back to a simpler time when they only had each other, a time that would forever be special to both of them.

The happy couple returned home, and brought with them a newfound inner piece.  Jarrod accepted his family with open arms and they were all happy to note that he had shaved off that damn moustache, returning to his former clean shaven self.  If asked why he done it, his answer would have been simply, “I didn’t need it anymore.”

Part 36

The weeks passed and Jarrod settled into a routine of working the ranch with his brothers. No one questioned his place on the ranch, but everyone wondered if and when he would ever return to his former profession.  With the help of Ruth and the rest of the family, Jarrod was slowly finding his way back to his former self, at least where it mattered most. 

*****************************************************************************

Nick slammed the front door on his way into the house, and after throwing his hat on the table, tromped into the parlor to get himself a stiff drink.

Victoria entered shortly after he did, “Nicholas, must you slam the front door?”  She watched him pace a few steps and turn back sharply to repeat the same steps, his anger evident.  “What is it that has you so upset?”  Grabbing her needlework, she sat down and began working as she listened to Nick.

 

“JARROD!” Nick stopped and waved his arm in the air, “That son of yours was supposed to meet the buyers for our peaches so we could finalize the contract and he never showed up.”

Used to Nick’s overreactions, she replied calmly as she sat doing her needlework, “I’m sure he had a very good reason, Nick.” Ignoring the sound of his angry spurs as he paced, she added. “Jarrod takes his work very seriously.”

Nick stopped his pacing and planted his hands on his hips, “Does he Mother? I’m not so sure anymore. We can barely get him to do the work for the ranch if it means he has to act as our attorney.”

Victoria shot him a surprised look and said angrily, “And for good reasons. I will not have you or anyone else pushing him into something he is not ready for. Do you understand me, Nicholas?”

His anger was not so easily pushed aside by his mother’s words, and his words were still loud, “He ain’t meant to be out there.  Jarrod ain’t no rancher, he’s a...”

So caught up in their conversation, neither Victoria or Nick had seen Jarrod and Heath enter the room, until Nick felt himself being spun around and came face to face with his irate older brother. Seeing Jarrod, Nick’s fury resurfaced, and he ignored Jarrod’s seething look as he yelled,  “Where the hell were you today? I needed you in town today?”

Still reeling under Nick’s original comment when he entered the room, Jarrod did his best to ignore his brother’s wrath, and stood toe to toe with him, neither man backing down. Jarrod was tired and mad and it was reflected in his voice, “I was busy, Nick!”

Nick bellowed at him, as he waved his gloves in Jarrod’s face. “You were busy! What was so damn important that you couldn’t go to town?” 

Fed up, Jarrod angrily swatted his brother’s hand away and started to advance on him. Heath joined the impending skirmish and pulled Jarrod back away from Nick, who stood his ground daring Jarrod to make the first move. 

“That’s enough! Both of you!” demanded Victoria as she stood up, from her place on settee. Jarrod twisted from Heath’s grasp and was stopped in his tracks when his mother planted a firm hand in his chest, “I said that is enough.”  Looking down at the tiny hand that held him, he lifted his gaze to stare fiercely at Nick, then turned and headed to the bar.  Victoria turned towards Nick and said firmly, “You both need to calm down and discuss this civilly.”  Nick tried to hold onto his anger but found himself backing down under his mother’s scowl.

“Fine,” said a disgusted Nick.  He watched Jarrod return with a drink and went out of his way to avoid him on his way to refill his own  Victoria could see that Jarrod was filthy and he looked exhausted, something Nick had failed to notice.  She joined him where he stood at the fireplace and questioned him, “What happened that you couldn’t go to town, son?” She knew her son well enough to know that he would never shirk his responsibilities unless he had a very good reason.

Jarrod gave Nick a pointed look as he spoke, “I was on my way to TOWN...when I came across one of our prize bulls. He was bogged down in the mud over in the south water tank.”  He spoke directly at Nick and emphasized his words, “I couldn’t very well leave him, now could I?”

It was then that Nick finally took a good look at his brother and could see the evidence of Jarrod’s apparent struggle to get the bull out of the mud.  He had obviously tried to brush the dried dirt and grime from his boots and clothes but some still lingered as a reminder of his afternoon in the mud.

Nick’s features softened and he frowned with concern, “Did you get him out?”

 

Jarrod nodded and Nick answered with remorse for his previous outburst, “Aw hell Jarrod, I’m sorry.”

“Nicholas!” chastised Victoria.

Nick apologized reluctantly, “Sorry Mother.”  Nick went to Jarrod and lightly touched his arm and was startled when Jarrod pulled his arm roughly from his grasp.  Confused, he questioned Jarrod, “I said I was sorry. What’s got you so fired up?”

Tired from the day, Jarrod said hotly, “What did you mean when you said I’m no rancher?”  Jarrod thrust his outstretched hands towards his brother, “Where the hell do you think these came from?”

Nick looked at his brother’s hands. They were no longer the lily white hands he’d teased his brother about for years, but bore the mark of months of hard work. His head dropped with a sigh, “That’s not what I meant Jarrod.”

Jarrod glared at Nick as he emphasized his words,  “What did you mean?”  Jarrod felt Heath’s hand rest on his shoulder and he shrugged it off as he stood face to face with Nick, “WELL?”

Nick looked nervously at his mother and then at Heath and realized he’d be on his own for this one. With a heavy sigh, he tried to explain. “I was talking to Mother about the peaches and I was sayin’ that you don’t seem all that interested in doin’ the legal work for the ranch.”

Jarrod listened, but was by no means pacified by his brothers words, “And what does that have to do with the other?”

Nick paced nervously as he tried to explain. “You ain’t meant to be a rancher.” Nick saw the fire in Jarrod’s eyes and he quickly added, “I’m not saying you don’t do a good job at it.” Nick chuckled, “You’ve impressed even me, older brother.”  Victoria and Heath both smiled at Nick’s compliment, and Jarrod visibly relaxed as he listened to his brother, “I just wonder when yer gonna go back to bein’ a lawyer.”  Nick’s next words were spoken with heartfelt sincerity, “That’s where you really belong.  In that courtroom. That’s where you come alive.  When you have something that gnaws at you so badly you just gotta find justice.  You latch onto it and you don’t let go until you make it right. That’s where you belong, big brother” 

Staring at his younger brother, Jarrod was amazed at the depth of Nick’s words.  Gone was the gruff cowboy and in his place stood a brother who really seemed to understand what being an attorney meant to his older brother, and yet Jarrod refused to give in to Nick’s words.  He slumped into his favorite chair and spoke quietly, “I wish it were that simple Nick.”

Nick tried to go to Jarrod, but it was Victoria who silenced him with a raised hand. Instead she walked over and sat on the table facing her eldest son.  Taking his hand in hers she said compassionately, “We do understand, son.  But all of us know that you will never be truly happy working on the ranch. No one is trying to push you away. If that is what you want to do, then you will have all our support.  We just want you to do what is best for you.”

Jarrod squeezed his mother’s hands and said softly, “Thank you Mother.”  Patting her hand he looked up at Nick and said hopefully, “I will go into town and see if I can catch our buyers. I may still be able to salvage our contract.”

Heath grinned at Jarrod, “It’ll keep ‘til tomorrow.  I went in and explained that you had other pressing matters and would they meet with you tomorrow.”  Jarrod raised his eyebrow, inquiring as to what they had said and Heath answered, “They’ll meet you at the Cattleman’s at noon.”  Jarrod smiled in relief.

Nick bellowed, “Why in the hell didn’t you say something earlier?”

 

Heath answered innocently, “Bout what Nick?” Victoria smiled and Jarrod suppressed a grin as he watched his brothers banter back and forth.

Nick sighed with frustration, “About the buyers.”

Heath teased Nick, “You never gave me the chance. You were carryin’ on somethin’ fierce when I came in.”

No longer able to control it, both Jarrod and their mother burst out laughing as Heath teased Nick.  Heath laughed at Nick’s disgusted look and it wasn’t long before Nick himself was laughing.  Ruth and Audra walked in at that moment and couldn’t help but smile at everyone’s laughter.  Ruth walked towards her husband and he rose from his chair and greeted her with a peck on the cheek.  Seeing the dirt that encrusted his clothes, Ruth playfully pushed him back. “You stink.” 

Nick and Heath only laughed harder and Jarrod couldn’t help but play along, “Well... I thought about a bath”  He leaned in and whispered just loud enough for all to hear, “Care to join me?” 

Ruth blushed all the way to her toes as she pushed him back once more, “Oh, you. Go get your bath.”

Nick was bend over grabbing his sides as he howled with laughter, “Oh, Ruth you should see your face.  I’ve seen strawberries that weren’t as red as that.”  Ruth looked sharply at Jarrod and he winked as his own face shaded at Nick’s comment. 

Jarrod lifted his hands in defeat, “I’m going for my bath.  I hope supper is ready when I’m done, because unlike my brother’s here, I put in a full days work and I am starving.”  Giving them no chance for a rebuttal he hastily made his way upstairs.

It was Ruth’s turn to laugh as Nick tried to yell at Jarrod’s retreating form, “I’ll show you what a hard day of work is big brother.  We got them broncs to bust tomorrow, so we’ll see just how tough you really are.” 

Jarrod stopped on the stairs and smiled down at Nick and said cockily, “We’ll we just might have to make some wagers tomorrow little brother, so come with your pockets full.”

Genuinely pleased that Jarrod had responded to his ribbing he pointed at him and said with delight, “You got it, big brother.”  With that Jarrod tipped an imaginary hat at Nick and finished his climb up the stairs.

Nick returned to his smiling family and said with determination, “I’m gonna clean him out tomorrow.”

Heath laughed, “I wouldn’t count yer money just yet Nick.  He’s a lot tougher than he used ta be.”

Nick slapped him on the back playfully, “That he is little brother. That he is.”  

Part 37

The days went to weeks and the brothers continued to work the ranch.  It was an opportunity they had never had before and each one cherished the time they spent together.  It wasn’t uncommon to find Heath and Jarrod absorbed in a private conversation somewhere when the work allowed them some time alone.  Nick never begrudged them the time and if truth be told he was thankful that they had each other. Maybe it was destiny, maybe it was fate.  Nick didn’t care. All he knew was, that together the two of them were healing old wounds and exorcizing their demons.  He was glad they could confide in one another, knowing in his heart that to have to listen to the atrocities they had suffered would have been too much for his sensitive soul to bear.  He would find them at odd places on the ranch and if he saw them deep in conversation, a small smile would grace his face and he would turn and leave them alone, then raise his eyes to heaven and thank the powers that be that his brother was home safely.

What Nick didn’t realize was that he too was nudging Jarrod in a direction that would bring his brother full circle.  Ever since Nick’s conversation, Jarrod couldn’t help but think about his days as a lawyer.  Whenever the chance arose, Nick was sure to point out the benefits of law over ranching.  He never pushed or was forceful, just a matter-of-fact comment here and there.   At first Jarrod found it irritating, but with time he realized that it was Nick’s way of helping him in a way only Nick could.  Nick’s tenacity was legendary and he wasn’t about to let Jarrod take the easy way out.  So ever so slowly, Jarrod’s mind began drifting back to his previous profession as Nick’s words began to take hold on him.

It was Ruth that finally took the plunge and decided it was time to have a heart to heart with her husband.  Gathered at breakfast one morning she made her plans known.  Looking at Nick from across the table she asked in tone that let Nick know it wasn’t actually a request but more of an order, “I thought I would borrow Jarrod this afternoon, do you think you can spare him?” 

Nick choked on his food and Heath playfully patted his back, “Just say yes Nick. You don’t stand a chance.”

Nick glared at Heath then grumbled teasingly at his sister-in-law, “And pray tell what is so important that he needs to miss an afternoon of work?”

Jarrod frowned at the two of them, “Do you mind not talking about me like I’m not in the room?”

Nick ignored Jarrod and waited for Ruth’s answer, “I thought we might go on picnic. That’s not a problem is it?”

Shaking his head, Nick directed his answer at Ruth, completely ignoring Jarrod’s look of contempt, “I reckon I can spare him for one afternoon, if you don’t make a habit out of it.  Can’t have my men runnin’ off whenever they please ya know.”

Ruth smiled sweetly, as the rest of the family did their best to hide their laughter, “Oh I wouldn’t think of taking advantage of your good nature Nick, it happens so rarely.”  That was it. The whole family, with the exception of Nick howled with laughter.  Nick sat stunned for a moment, noticed her wink and gave in to the merriment in the room.

Jarrod chuckled at his brother, “She got you again brother Nick.”  Nick shrugged, knowing it was difficult at best to beat Ruth in a verbal battle.  She kept her sparring it to a minimum, so he never suspected it and was usually caught off guard when she did bait him.  He smiled back and wondered if he would ever find someone to compliment his life the way Ruth did his brother’s.  Jarrod turned to Ruth and teased her, “I heard through the grapevine that I am going on a picnic today. I was wondering if you would care to join me?”

Resting her hand on his as it lay on the table, Ruth replied, “I’d be delighted. What a wonderful idea.”

Jarrod lifted her hand with his and kissed it lightly, “I will be here around noon to pick you up.”

Nick stood, and teased his older brother, “Well, if yer goin’ on a picnic, we better get a move on if I’m gonna get any work at all out of you.”  Heath and Jarrod both got up reluctantly and joined Nick as he strolled towards the door and Heath asked Nick, “Ya know Nick, it don’t seem fair that older brother gets a day off and we gotta work. Maybe we oughta go fishin’ this afternoon.”

Smiling at Heath, Nick agreed, “Now that sounds like a plan little brother.  Well...the sooner we get done with fixin’ that corral, the sooner we can go fishin’.” Nick planted a hand on his brothers’ backs and pushed them both out the door.

*******************************************************************************

 

The two of them enjoyed a picnic and Jarrod lay happily stretched out on the picnic blanket, with Ruth using his stomach as a pillow.  He lightly caressed her hair, loving the feel of its silkiness between his fingers.  Ruth sighed in contentment and it wasn’t long before she broke the silence, “Do you think you’ll ever go back to being a lawyer, Jarrod?”

Jarrod quit playing with her hair and put his hands behind his head as he answered, “If you had asked me that a couple of months ago, I would have given you a very firm no.”

“And now?”

“I don’t know.  Being able to work with Nick and Heath has given me an opportunity to get to know them like I never have before, and it’s given me a new perspective on just how hard they work to keep the ranch running smoothly.  I can understand why they enjoy it as much as they do...”

“But...” Ruth rolled over and moved up to lie beside him, and lifting up to her elbows she rested her head in her hands.

Jarrod looked up at her and said reluctantly, “Oh, I don’t know. It’s rewarding work and I find I actually enjoy the physical aspect of it, but...I find myself missing the thrill and the challenge of being an attorney.”  Jarrod sat thinking for some time before he continued, his voice reflecting a certain sadness, “I want to go back and be who I was before, I just don’t know if I can anymore.  I loved being an attorney, but there is a certain responsibility that goes with it that I’m not sure I’m worthy of upholding anymore.”

Ruth reached across and held his face in her hand, “You’re not perfect Jarrod... no one expects you do be.  You don’t have a magic looking glass that tells you who is innocent and who is guilty.  You have to trust that most of the time you can sense that the person you are defending is telling you the truth.  Admittedly, Amy Keller was an unfortunate victim, but if you hadn’t defended Brewer someone else would have and he still would’ve been free to hurt her.” Ruth caressed his cheek and spoke tenderly, “You are one of the most sensitive individuals I know Jarrod.  It is that sensitivity that makes you such a fine attorney. It is also what makes you feel as you do when people are wrongly accused. Your sensitivity is also what makes you hurt so bad when you think you have failed in your profession. I can’t make this decision for you my love, it is something you have to be comfortable with.”  Ruth smiled impishly as she added, “I would however like to say that if you decide to go forward with this, nothing says you have to return to the same workload you had before.  Start off small and see if it is something you can handle, then gradually build your case load to a level that you can live with.”

Jarrod smiled at her, “But that is just your opinion, right?  You’re not trying to influence me in any way.”  Jarrod chuckled at her blush and remarked playfully, “I think that all my years in college are wasted on you, my precious. You already have me far outclassed when it comes to presenting a case.”

Ruth smiled shyly, then asked him seriously, “Are you going to give it a try?”

“I think I would like to begin moving in that direction.  While I admit the thought is a little daunting, it doesn’t seem to want to leave me and I guess I won’t know until I try.”

Grasping him around the middle, Ruth lay her head upon his stomach and they both lay in silence enjoying their peaceful afternoon.  It was a short time later that they decided it was time to head home and Jarrod helped Ruth pack up everything into saddlebags and it wasn’t long before they were on the way to the house.  Just after they started out Ruth looked at Jarrod as he sat astride Jingo and her mind drifted back to the days when she rode behind him instead of on her own horse. 

Jarrod noticed her wistful look and frowned, “What has you so deep in thought?”

Startled from her musings, Ruth shook her head and hoped that he hadn’t noticed the flush that rose in her cheeks, “Nothing.”

 

Jarrod persisted, “Tell me.”

Ruth stuttered, “It’s nothing really.”  Jarrod looked at her curiously and Ruth relented, “I was thinking of when I used to ride behind you.  I was wondering...”  Ruth blushed even more as she whispered her unusual request, “if you would take your shirt off and let me do that for just a little while.  I used to love it when I could be so close to you.”

Jarrod brought Jingo closer to Ruth and reached out to hold her hand, “Don’t be afraid to ask me for something like that?  You have done so much for me and you ask for so little.” Taking her hand he brought it to his lips and kissed her fingers briefly as he said lovingly, “If all it takes is for me to take my shirt off so we can ride double to make you smile, then I will gladly do so.”  Dismounting, Jarrod walked around his horse to help Ruth down from hers.  Jarrod removed his vest and had Ruth hold it while he removed his shirt.  Ruth was well aware of how self-conscious Jarrod felt without a shirt and it made his willingness to do it for her all the more special.  She watched as his muscles rippled with every move of his body, and she had to consciously control her breathing.  Months of hard work had toned his body to perfection and she began to wonder if this was such a good idea after all.

Jarrod mounted Jingo and reached down his hand to help her up and Ruth slipped in easily behind him.  Hesitating for only a second, she wrapped her arms around his waist and sighed with contentment at the familiarity of their position.  This time however, there was no flinching away from her touch, and Jarrod actually relaxed back into her as she rested her head against his back.  They rode in silence for several minutes, before either one found any words.

Jarrod clasped her hand and held it tightly to his chest as he spoke, “Have I ever told you that I have loved you from the first time we met?”  Surprised by his admission, Ruth pulled away and Jarrod turned his head around to see her look of shock.  “Does that surprise you?”

Ruth nodded and Jarrod smiled at her reaction, then added sadly, “I hated the day I had to put you on that stage, knowing I would never get to see you again.”  Ruth pressed her head into his back to stop the tears that threatened to fall and Jarrod turned forward as he continued to talk. His words came with difficulty as he spoke in a low tone, “When you helped me back in Texas, I didn’t know who you were, but I felt deep inside that I could trust you somehow... You were my lifeline back then.” Jarrod’s voice broke as he finished, “I am forever grateful, that for whatever reason, that it was you that was there for me, when everything else was so...overwhelming.  I know in my heart that without you... I wouldn’t be sitting here looking forward to a future filled with such happiness.  You, more than anyone else has shown me that no matter what they took from me, they couldn’t take that part that makes me who I am.”  Jarrod turned in the saddle and gazed into Ruth’s tear filled eyes as he whispered softly, “That part can never be taken from me again...because it belongs to you.”

Ruth began crying in earnest and Jarrod quickly dismounted to take her in his arms.  He held her as she wept and listened to her declare her love for him, “Oh Jarrod, I love you so much.  I never wanted to get on that stage that day either.  I rode away feeling as if I would never find anyone as caring and as considerate as you were of me.  I spent many a day wondering what had become of you.”   Ruth pulled away and suddenly turned her back on Jarrod as her shoulders shook with emotion, “I am so sorry for what my brother did you.  I would gladly give up everything if you hadn’t had to go through that.”

Jarrod moved up behind her and pulled her to his chest as he wrapped his strong arms around her. Leaning forward he buried his head in her shoulder and whispered, “Shhhh... You were not responsible for what your brother did. It’s over, and for whatever reason we are together. I want to be here for you always. To grow old with you by my side.  I love you so much, that sometimes it hurts just to leave your side.”

 

Ruth twisted in her husband’s grasp and buried herself against him, relishing in the feel of him as he held her tight.  Lifting her head to gaze up at him, she saw her own desire mirrored in his eyes and she pleaded quietly, “Love me!”  Jarrod leaned down and caught her lips in his own as he delivered a slow lingering kiss.  It would be several hours before they returned home from their picnic that day.

Part 38

A couple of months later, Jarrod was practicing law on a very limited basis. He knew in time he would take on more, but for now he was comfortable with the time he split between the office and the ranch.  While he felt good being back in his former profession, he knew it would never return to the same level as before.  Jarrod valued life too much now to let a job take his time away from wife and family.  Stockton was his home, and that was where he would be practicing law, not in San Francisco away from those he loved.  

*******************************************************************************

All three brother’s leaned against the corral fence as they watched the bronc rider take his chance on the rank horse.  The whole valley looked forward to the annual rodeo and today was no exception.  The legendary rivalry between the Barkley’s and the Morton’s made the event one of the valley’s biggest of the season.

Heath and Nick had made excellent rides earlier and the Morton’s were desperate for one of the Barkley hands to make a bad ride so they could have a chance at taking the event.  Jarrod stood beside his brothers dressed in a suit, having no intention of making a ride himself. 

Tom and J.D. Morton, along with their father Rufus, sidled up next to the Barkley’s.  Jarrod nudged Heath, and nodded his head towards the Morton’s. “We have company it seems.”

Heath turned to Nick, who was absorbed in the action, and said, “I think we got them Morton’s worried a bit there Nick.”

Nick leaned forward over and glanced down the rail as the Morton’s nervously watched another Barkley hand make a good ride.  Nick hollered at the Morton’s enthusiastically, “You runnin’ outta riders yet Morton or are you ready to concede defeat?”  Heath and Jarrod joined in Nick’s laughter as they taunted the rival ranchers.

Rufus glared at the three brothers, “J.D. still has his ride and we still have a few more riders.”

Nick strode to the other side of Jarrod and stood closer to the Morton’s, “Seems to me it just ain’t gonna be enough this year Rufus.  Yer boys just can’t hold up against what we got this year.”

Frustrated by Nick’s words, Rufus shot a look at them and goaded, “How bout you put yer money where your mouth is?  Way I hear it,  Jarrod there has been doing some ridin’.  How bout we make a wager between ole J.D. and the lawyer?”

Jarrod stepped forward and addressed Rufus calmly, refusing to be baited into their scheme, “As you can see I’m hardly dressed to ride in a rodeo.”  

Rufus looked him up and down and said with disgust, “Too good to ride?  I ain’t never figured on no Barkley bein’ a coward.”

Nick and Heath both reacted immediately and were able to stop Jarrod as he tried to launched himself at the elder Morton.  Tom and J.D. were both grinning at his reaction, “Looks like he ain’t as tough as his brothers here.  I think yer right Pa, he put them lawyer duds on and he’s too good for ranch work.”

 

J.D. slapped his brother playfully as he took up the taunt, “He don’t look tough enough to take on a bronc anyways.  I hear tell they saved the best for last.  Too bad. I coulda used me something to laugh at today.  The lawyer laying in the dirt in his Sunday best.”  The Morton’s howled with laughter while Nick and Heath struggled to hold Jarrod. 

Still holding his brother,  it was Heath that glared at the Morton’s and demanded, “How much you wanna wager?”

Jarrod stopped resisting his brothers and stared at Heath in surprise.  He turned sharply towards the now quiet Morton’s and noticed they too were shocked by Heath’s challenge.

Rufus recovered quickly and a grin appeared as he said, “I reckon it would be worth five hundred dollars just to see the lawyer there eat dirt like the rest of us.”

Trying to advance on Rufus, Jarrod stepped forward when Nick suddenly planted his hand in his brother’s chest and turned to glare at the Morton’s as he held Jarrod at bay, “I think if you wanna see my brother ride, were gonna have to raise that to a thousand.”

“Nick!” hissed Jarrod. His eyes were telling Nick that he was crazy for even considering such a bet.  Jarrod never had the chance to protest, when Mr. Morton sealed the deal with an outstretched hand, “That will be the easiest money I ever made. Ain’t no lawyer gonna beat J.D. here.”

Nick stared angrily at him and said tersely, “I wouldn’t be countin’ yer money just yet, Morton.” Nick grabbed Rufus’s hand and shook it fiercely, “Yer on. One hour.”

The three brothers watched the Morton’s leave and Jarrod all but shouted his anger, “What the hell do you two think you are doing? I’m no bronc rider.”

Heath put his hand on Jarrod’s back and started leading him away from the corral, With a lopsided grin, Heath playfully told his older brother, “I don’t know Jarrod... you looked pretty good a couple months ago when you cleaned Nick’s pockets.”

“That was different.”

Nick clasped Jarrod’s neck affectionately, “You’ll do just fine.”

Heath pulled off his gloves and handed them to Jarrod, then proceeded to do the same with his chap’s.  About the time Jarrod had removed his jacket, tie and gun belt, and was lacing up the chaps, the woman showed up.  Victoria was the first to comment, “What are you doing in that get up, Jarrod?”

Jarrod smiled nervously, “It would seem that I am going to be riding this afternoon.” Audra giggled and his mother looked surprised.  He looked at Ruth to see her reaction, and all she was doing was staring at his borrowed chaps.  “Ruth?”

Ruth muttered, “Uh?” The whole family laughed and Ruth looked up with a very red face as she realized she’d been caught.  Jarrod smiled and pulled her into an embrace.  Ruth buried her face into his chest and asked, “So you’re riding today?”

Kissing her head, Jarrod said, “So it would seem.”

Ruth looked up at him and asked excitedly, “Can we watch?”

Jarrod laughed and glanced at his mother and sister’s expectant faces, “Well... I certainly couldn’t ask for a more beautiful group of spectators.  If you wish to see me make of fool of myself, ladies, then by all means you may watch.” Jarrod playfully gave them a gentlemanly bow.  It was nice to see Jarrod make light of his upcoming ride, and the family rallied around him.

 

J.D. stood in the shoot fixing to mount one of the meaner horses. The rodeo organizers had gotten wind of the upcoming ride and decided to raise the odds by picking one the ranker horses.  J.D. was hoping Jarrod would draw to ride first so he would know the time he had to beat but his luck failed him.  He glanced nervously at his family as they stood on the rails around the shoot, and wished his father hadn’t bet so much money on this ride.  With his jacket off and dressed to ride, the lawyer didn’t look near as beatable as he had that morning. Jarrod looked more formidable than J.D. remembered.  It didn’t help that a large crowd had gathered to watch the big money ride of the day.

His thoughts were interrupted by Nick’s loud voice, “You ain’t havin’ second thoughts are ya, J.D.?”

J.D. sneered and his brother Tom hollered back, “On a sure bet? You gotta be dreamin’ Barkley!”

Stepping over the shoot, J.D. mounted the angry bronc. He grabbed the rope and after settling himself into the saddle, he nodded. The gate opened and he struggled to stay atop the wild bronc.  It was only a matter of seconds, before he felt himself flying through the air only to land in a heap in the dirt.  Sputtering out the dirt in his mouth, he grabbed his hat and used it to slap the dirt from his clothes.  Both his father and brother were scowling at his pathetic ride while Nick Barkley taunted him, “Nice ride Morton. You sure showed him.” 

The crowd exploded with laughter and J.D. angrily stalked back to his family and received a less than friendly welcome.  Jarrod was still nervous, but some of the pressure of having to make a long ride had been alleviated.  He just needed to stay on for a brief time and the day would belong to the Barkleys. 

The horse they picked for Jarrod was no less wild than the horse J.D. rode and the beast snorted as Jarrod approached the shoot.  Nick and Heath flanked him and he found their presence comforting, as he climbed the rail.  Jarrod was just getting ready to mount when Ruth ran forward and climbed up beside him and whispered in his ear.  Jarrod looked at her sharply and smiled.  Shaking his head in amusement, he watched her join his mother and sister at the corral, his nervousness was now gone and in its place was new determination.   Sitting astride the horse, Jarrod hung on and the gate was opened at the nod of his head.  The horse jumped as it cleared the gate and only Jarrod’s strength kept him on board as the horse attempted to buck off its rider.  Jarrod was only vaguely aware of his family’s shouts of encouragement.  Counting seconds in his head, he stayed on well past what J.D. had done, insuring himself the victory.  With the ease of a seasoned rider, he let loose the rein and let the horses momentum aid his dismount, making a perfect landing on his feet. Clear of the horse, he took off his hat and bowed to the applauding crowd.  Walking towards his family, he couldn’t help but smile at their jubilation.  Nick and Heath joined him on his side of the fence and they all walked towards where the dejected Morton’s were standing.

Nick stepped forward and planting his hands on his hips,  tilted his head towards Jarrod as he told the Morton’s, “I believe you owe my brother some money.” 

Not saying a word, Rufus handed Jarrod the money, who slapped Nick in the chest with it, “I believe a beer is in order, little brother.”  Jarrod turned to Heath and added, “What do you think Heath, a beer sound good to you?”

“Sounds even better with you buyin’.” Heath joined his brothers as they started to climb but changed his mind and walked back over the few steps to say a few words to the Morton’s. With a lop-sided grin he told them matter-of-factly, “He’s a lot tougher than he looks.”

Nick and Jarrod both laughed, as the Morton’s hung their heads, at the truth of their little brother’s words.  Nick slapped his hand on Jarrod’s back and said with pride, “You had a great ride there, big brother. Couldn’t have done better myself.”

 

Heath had joined them and added his own praise at Jarrod’s ride, “I don’t suppose you’d reconsider workin’ full time at the ranch again, would ya?”

Shaking his head, Jarrod grinned, “Sorry little brother. You’re gonna have to take what you can get.”

The three joined the women and after much hugging and kissing in celebration, the three brothers headed down the street to the saloon in search of a well-deserved beer.  

An hour later, Jarrod left his brothers to their celebrating and informed the women he would meet them at home.  They had all learned that when Jarrod made such a statement it was his way of getting some time alone, and they graciously respected his request.

The family spent another hour in town, since Audra and Victoria wanted to shop and Ruth had an  errand of her own to run.  When they returned home and Jarrod still hadn’t arrived, his brothers wanted to mount a search, but Ruth told them with a smile, “I know where he is.  If one of you would be so kind as to saddle a horse for me I believe I will join him for what looks to be a beautiful sunset.”

Heath headed back into the barn, with Ruth at his side and he asked, “You sure he’ll be there?”

Ruth chuckled, “Where else would he be?” 

“I reckon yer probably right,” said Heath with a knowing grin.

Ruth was headed out in no time and after a short ride her intuition proved to be true.  Not a mile from the mansion, stood the framework for a large, but modest home.  It would be their home in a few short months and neither Jarrod nor Ruth could wait.  They both loved the time they spent in the main house, but this would be theirs and would give them more privacy, something in short supply at the family home.  Through the upright walls of wood, Ruth could see Jarrod looking out over the small valley that the house sat in.  Whether by luck or design, the sun began it’s decent and was framed by the valley’s entrance.

Having arrived over an hour ago, Jarrod had spent the time reflecting on the past. He was grateful that his torture almost eight months prior, was slowly fading into the past.  He still bore the scars of those terrible days, and strangers could still cause him anxiety if they crowded him, but he had learned to control the fear that followed such episodes, thereby lessening their affect.   Where before he was seldom seen wearing a gun, nowadays it was unusual to catch him out without one. It was an added security that no one who knew him questioned.    He’d learned to trust his family and only when he left home did he feel the need to take a canteen of fresh water with him.  Of all the demons that had invaded his soul, that one alone could not be shaken.  It was the one thing that represented all he had struggled for and lost during his captivity... his dignity. The mind is a powerful thing, and Jarrod’s mind would always remember the humiliation he had suffered at another man’s hands.  He would never allow himself to fall under another man’s power like that again, and if that meant an  irrational mistrust of water, then it was a small price to pay.  Ruth had stood by him in his darkest hours and his family had been invaluable in providing support and understanding as he found his way back to his former life, something he never thought would be possible. It was true, that love heals all things and he, despite all that had happened, was stronger for it.  

He heard Ruth approach, and a smile graced his face. When she reached him, he kissed her lightly and pulled her to his side, “How did you know I would be here?”

Ruth giggled, “Lucky guess.”

“Did you call off the posse?”

 

“Yes,” laughed Ruth.  Moving to lean back into her husbands chest, she looked to the western sky. “It looks like it’s going to be a wonderful sunset.”

“Um uh.”  Jarrod wrapped one arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist and he asked curiously, “What did the doctor say?”

Ruth grasped the hand that held her stomach and moved it to press against her abdomen. Jarrod rubbed it with small caresses then dropped his head to her shoulder and kissed her neck. Lifting his head, he tightened his hold  and together they watched the sunset.  Ruth smiled with satisfaction.  Jarrod never said a word, but that was alright.  Ruth understood everything he was telling her. 

 

THE END