I know he
was cruel to you
He kept
you down
He never
heard the voice inside you
Never
heard the sound
Of angels
singing, you know they are around
They look
just like you, their tears fall to the ground
So smile
it's behind you now
And in
time in time
~Steve Wariner~
Jarrod watched as the woman and small child departed from the stage. Both looked tired, but even through the dust of the ride it was easy to see that the woman was attractive. She was short, no more than five foot with hair the color of midnight. When she glanced at him, Jarrod was struck by her dark blue eyes framed in long lashes. Weary and worn the woman squared her shoulders and looked around before spotting her destination. Reaching down for her daughter’s hand she took a deep breath and he could see her fear and apprehension. Just as quickly, it was gone and he continued to watch the pair as they made their way across the street. The little girl, no more than three or four hung tightly to her mother’s skirt, ducking behind her whenever anyone came near. Jarrod smiled, a normal reaction in one so young. Her mother seemed used to her daughter’s behavior and kept pace with the little girl’s smaller steps, never losing patience.
As he
made his way back to the office he couldn’t clear the woman’s image from his
mind or the little girl that trailed behind her. Working through lunch and into the evening, he hadn’t realized
how late it had gotten. Tired and
hungry, he decided to eat in town. If
he hurried he could still make dinner at the Cattlemen’s before the place
filled up for the evening meal.
Grabbing his hat and coat, he strapped on his gunbelt and made his way
down the street to the restaurant.
Already the place was crowded with dinner patrons and Jarrod was able to
secure the last table in a far corner.
Ordering a drink, he relaxed and was about to light a premeal cigar when
he saw her again. Standing at the
doorway, she was conversing with the restaurant’s host. She glanced at the crowded tables and Jarrod
watched as her face fell and she looked down in dismay at her daughter.
Jarrod
stood and made his way to the front of the room and spoke to her as she turned
away, “Excuse me, ma’am.” The woman
turned and found herself drawn to his eyes and barely heard his next words, “I
hate to see you and your daughter turned away.” He looked down at the little
girl and tried to draw her out from behind her mother’s skirts with a
smile. She vanished behind the curtain
of material and Jarrod grinned, “A shy one.”
“Jarrod
Barkley, ma’am. I’d like to offer you
my table so you and your daughter can eat.”
“Oh no I
couldn’t take your table. We’ll find
somewhere else.”
Shaking
his head, Jarrod insisted, “It’s too late for you to be wandering the streets
alone. Please, it’s far easier for me
to go elsewhere than you with the little one.
I insist.” Giving her no chance
to respond, he motioned to the maitre de.
As he approached, Jarrod issued his instructions, “Martin, could you see
these two to my table and bring me my hat.”
“Yes sir,
Mr. Barkley.” He turned to the woman, “If you follow me ma’am I’ll show you to
your table.”
She
grabbed at Martin and said quickly, “Wait.” Turning back to Jarrod, she
appeared flustered by his generosity, “Please Mr. Barkley, at least join
us. It’s the least we can do
considering.”
Jarrod’s
eyes brightened and he smiled graciously, “I don’t want to bother you...”
The woman
stuck out her hand, “Sadie...Sadie Crampton.”
Looking down at her daughter, who was warming to Jarrod’s smiles,
introduced her, “and this is Maggie.” Jarrod took her hand and held it briefly
before remembering his manners, “Mrs. Crampton.”
Dropping
on one knee, he spoke softly to the shy little girl, “Well Maggie, would you
mind if I joined you for supper?”
Maggie
looked up at her mother, her eyes filled with reluctance and a tinge of
fear. Sadie nodded at the girl and
Maggie looked at Jarrod and gave him a meek nod. He reached out to take her hand, and Maggie pulled away sharply
and ducked back behind her mother.
Sadie quickly apologized, “I’m sorry Mr. Barkley, Maggie is very shy
with men she doesn’t know.”
“Understandable,
Mrs. Crampton.” Jarrod gestured towards his table, “Please, this way.” On the way back to his table, Jarrod was
running her words through his head. She
hadn’t said strangers or people, but rather men. The statement seemed unusual but he quickly forgot it as they
were seated and sensing Sadie’s awkwardness, eased into a conversation.
They
ordered a meal and Jarrod found himself captivated by Sadie’s lilting voice and
gorgeous eyes. Sadie too enjoyed the
company and began relating her story as if she’d known him all her life. He was easy to talk to and seemed to
actually take an interest in what she had to say, a novelty to her. Jarrod was startled by her revelation but
years as a lawyer allowed him to mask his feelings and he guided the
conversation throughout the meal and handed her his handkerchief when tears
fell.
It was
difficult to speak of the cruelties she and Maggie had endured, but this man, a
stranger really, helped lift it from the dark place she’d hidden it and she
felt better when it was all out in the open.
Remarkably, Jarrod Barkley did not place blame as so many others had, he
simply listened and nodded his understanding, offering support when the telling
became difficult. They sat for hours
talking, long after little Maggie curled up in Sadie’s lap and fell
asleep. Only when they realized the
place was empty but for them did they reluctantly rise to leave. Jarrod offered, “Can I walk you to the
hotel?”
Sadie
smiled warmly, “I’d like that.”
Jarrod
beamed and asked as he held out his arm, “Would you like me to carry her?”
“No, if
she wakes up in your arms it will only frighten her.” Sadie ducked her head,
embarrassed, “I’m sorry. She has a hard time with anyone but me.”
“Considering
what you’ve told me, it’s to be expected.”
Jarrod stepped aside and let Sadie go first and walked beside her, his
hand pressed lightly to her back as he led her outside and across the street to
the hotel. Jarrod saw her to her room
and hesitated only briefly as he dropped a light kiss on her cheek, “You are a
remarkable woman, Sadie Crampton. If
you’ll let me, I’d like to see you again.”
He added with a smile, “and Maggie too of course.”
“I don’t
know, Mr. Barkley. It seems unfair to you to have to...” Sadie tried to finish
but Jarrod’s finger dropped to her lips and silenced her.
“It’s
Jarrod and I insist. Sunday, after
church, we could go on a picnic. I’m sure my family would love to meet you.”
Sadie
smiled at his persistence, “We’d like that...Jarrod. We’ll see you Sunday
then.”
“I’m
looking forward to it.” Jarrod replaced his hat and his steps seemed much
lighter as he made his way to the livery.
Living in
the shadows baby, let me in
If you
let his memory hold you back, you let him win
Shackles
on your soul are rusty waiting for release
All I
want to do is love you and give you peace
Victoria
walked into the study expecting to find Jarrod hard at work, but instead found
him standing at the patio doors just staring out absently. He’d been preoccupied lately, and she was
sure a certain young lady had something to do with it. Moving around the study, picking up here
and there she asked, “Would you like to talk about it?”
Jarrod
turned to her as if surprised she was even in the room, but quickly recovered,
“What Mother?”
“You’ve
been staring out the window. I thought maybe you would like to talk about
whatever is bothering you.”
Walking
to her, he leaned down and kissed her, “You know me too well, Lovely
Lady.” Jarrod lead her to the settee
and let her sit before moving to his own chair opposite hers. Sitting down, he stretched out in the chair
and blurted out, “I’ve asked Sadie to marry me.”
“Oh
Jarrod that’s wonderful!”
Jarrod
flashed her a sardonic grin, “It would be if she would say yes.”
“Maybe
she just needs some time to think about it.”
Victoria remembered their conversation of several months ago, shortly
after Jarrod met Sadie and Maggie.
Jarrod wanted the family to meet them and planned a picnic for everyone
that next Sunday. His hopes for a
perfect outing were dashed when young Maggie refused contact with anyone. The little girl was terrified of all of
them, and Jarrod, truly worried for the child’s well being, finally took Sadie
and Maggie home. Returning home, he
related to the family what Sadie had told him. Sadie’s husband, Maggie’s father, was very abusive to both of
them and had been since Maggie’s birth.
He lived to torment them and did so at every opportunity. Sadie wasn’t allowed off their farm without
permission, something he rarely gave.
Things went from bad to worse when he began using Maggie to control
Sadie. He had no love for his daughter
and Maggie was terrified of him. When
Sadie found him using Maggie for his own needs, she selflessly attacked him and
was wounded. When the neighbors came by
several days later, Jim Crampton was dead and Sadie was near death. Maggie witnessed it all and the trauma of
abuse left her terrified of any man.
Fortunately, Sadie was cleared of all charges, the judge having ruled it
self defense. The town had no love loss
for the man and they all helped Sadie and Maggie get back on their feet. As soon as Sadie was strong enough she left
in search of a better life for her and her daughter, thankful that her dead
husband was such a miser. Arriving in
Stockton, she found work as the librarian and she and Maggie were finally
settling in to a better life.
It wasn’t
unusual to see the two of them out with Jarrod or the Barkley family. It was clear that Jarrod was smitten by the
dark haired beauty and her daughter.
After the initial picnic fiasco, all of them worked extra hard to pull young
Maggie out of her shell. Even after all
the months of courting Sadie, Maggie only barely tolerated Jarrod’s
presence.
Victoria
looked at Jarrod and asked, “Do you think Maggie is the reason she is holding
back?”
“Yes
Mother I do.” Jarrod shook his head
sadly, “I just don’t know what else to do.
I love Maggie as much as I do her mother but nothing I do seems to make
a difference.” Frustrated, Jarrod sighed, “She hates me.”
“No son,
Maggie doesn’t hate you. You may not
see it, but the rest of us do. That
little girl watches everything you do.
I think she just needs more time.
I think they both need a little more time to decide if they can trust
you with their love.”
Jarrod
leaned forward on his elbows and spoke softly, “I hope you’re right Mother.”
Epilogue
All I
want to do is love you and give you peace
So smile
it's behind you now
And in
time in time
It was
getting late and Jarrod needed to get up, but he was reluctant to move. In his arms lay his angel and at the other
end of the settee sat his other one. Both of them had fallen asleep after a
long day out picnicking with the family.
After a year of patient waiting, there were days when he wondered if he
would ever win them over. Sighing loudly, he woke them both and Maggie almost
fell off his chest when she realized where she’d fallen asleep.
Jarrod’s
face fell for only a second before he quickly hid his disappointment. Sadie saw it anyway and looked at him with a
sympathetic smile. Maggie started to
leave Jarrod’s embrace, when she suddenly stopped. Looking up into his blue
eyes, her voice held a tinge of fear as her little hand found his face, “Can I
ask you something?”
It was
hard to hide his joy, but she was as serious as any four-year-old could be, so
he held his happiness in check. “Of course Maggie. You can ask me
anything.” Maggie turned to her mother
and with a nod from Sadie, Maggie looked at Jarrod and he could see the tears
begin to build. “Maggie honey, don’t cry. You have nothing to be afraid of. I would
never do anything to hurt you or your mother.”
Maggie nodded, but the tears fell anyway and
she stuttered, “I know you wouldn’t Jarrod. I just wanted to know if you’d be
my papa.”
Jarrod
looked at her and then her mother in shock and when Sadie closed her eyes and
nodded, Jarrod wrapped his arms around Maggie and hugged her fiercely, “Yes,
Maggie. I’ll be your Papa.” Maggie wrapped her arms around his neck then buried
herself in his chest as tears came unbidden to Jarrod’s eyes. Reaching out his
hand, he pulled Sadie into their embrace and with a small kiss to her cheek
he whispered to both of them, “I love
you.”