Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program Big Valley are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the authors. The ideas expressed in this story are copywrited by the author.

 

A Time to Rend-by nutterone

 

 

To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal ...
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance ...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.

~ecclesiastes 3:1-8

 

One~

 

“Ma, can I stop yet?”  Six-year-old Leah Barkley had only been practicing her scales for a few minutes.  This was a daily battle.  She longed to get out with the men and work around the ranch, especially the horses, until she had to leave for school.  Her mother insisted she use her time before school to practice. 

 

“No, you may not.  Continue.”

 

She displayed her displeasure, as she did every day, by pounding even harder on the keys, to the annoyance of all within the large manor home.

 

Jarrod Barkley finished his last cup of coffee and smiled at his sister-in-law as she entered the dining room and poured herself a cup of coffee.  “Our daily battle of wills?”

 

“I’m sorry you have to be the victim of her stubbornness.”

 

Jarrod laughed again.  “She’s born to it.  There’s no way I could complain.”

 

Kathleen Barkley laughed with her brother-in-law this time.  “I guess you’re right.  Why do I fight it.”

 

“Because you’re a stubborn Irish woman?”

 

“Aye.  How right you are.”

 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, reading and listening to the simple song now being played in the parlor.  The grand matriarch of the Barkley family was on her annual trip east to see Audra in Virginia and Nick, along with most of the men, were in the outer ranges branding the spring calves.  Nick’s newborn son had kept his mother, Ellen, up most of the night, so she was taking advantage of both of their sons sleeping and catching up with some rest herself.   Jarrod glanced at his pocket watch and pushed back his chair to leave. 

 

“Looks like it’s time for me to spare your ears.”

 

“Have I thanked you lately for taking her to school each day?”

 

“No, but you also know its not necessary.  I enjoy the company and time with my favorite niece each morning.”

 

“Still, thank you.”

 

He walked to Katy’s side, leaned in and kissed her cheek.  “No, thank you.”  They smiled warmly at each other and he turned to leave. He stopped at the large table in the center of the foyer and began searching through his files.  He called out to his niece.  “Leahloo, time to get your things.”

 

“Ahhhh, do I have to Uncle Jarrod?”

 

He laughed at their morning ritual.  “Yes, my Dear.  Time to go.  Ciego has the buggy hitched.”

 

“You don’t know that for sure.”

 

“Yes I do.  Now, gather your lunch and books.”

 

“Yes, Sir.”  She moved past him and met Silas in the hall toward the kitchen.  He reached out to her with her books in one hand and her lunch pail in the other.  “Here you go, Miss Leah.  Now, if you eat all this lunch likes a good girl, I think I might need some help with oatmeal cookies diz afternoon.”

 

Leah hugged the man good-bye and thanked him.  She turned and presented herself to her uncle, ready to go.  He was thumbing through his files and noticed one missing. 

 

“Sorry, Leahloo, I forgot a file upstairs.  Could you possibly wait for me?”

“Oh, Uncle Jarrod.  You should be more ready.”  She rolled her eyes with mock annoyance.

 

He laughed at the scold in her voice and kissed her forehead as he went by her to climb the stairs.

 

Katy came out of the dining room and saw her daughter.  “While I am glad I didn’t miss you, I find myself wondering why you haven’t left for school young lady.  You’ll make your uncle late.”

 

“I will not.  My uncle has forgotten something and went upstairs to get it.  You see, Ma, I’m waitin’ for him!”

 

“Heavens, that’s a change of pace.”

 

Suddenly the quiet of the morning was shaken by gunshots.  Leah’s eyes went wide with fright and she ran to her mother’s side, holding tight to her skirts.  She had been around gunfire, but it still made her nervous.

 

It all happened quickly.  Jarrod and Ellen ran into the upper hall at the same time.  Jarrod sent Ellen back into her room for safety and returned to his own to grab his own weapon.  By the time he reached the top of the stairs, he saw four men storming in the front door with guns pointed at Silas, Katy and Leah.  He held his breath to steady his nerves and determine his next step.  He decided to fire and alert them to his presence.  He assumed it would draw their attention long enough to allow the hostages below to run. 

 

A large man, brandishing a huge knife, moved toward the trio and Jarrod made his move.  He shouted and fired.  Three of the four men pointed their guns his way and he ducked backward to avoid their shots. 

 

Silas sensed Jarrod’s purpose and despite his advancing age, hurried the woman toward the rear of the house.  The movement of the people in the foyer caught the attention of one of the men and he fired.  It caught Silas in the back and he fell.  Leah screamed and Katy pushed her daughter forward as she turned back to try and help Silas.

 

“Run, Leah.  Run!”  Leah automatically responded to her mother’s shout and ran like the wind toward the kitchen and its back door.

 

Meanwhile in the foyer, shots were flying.  Two men advanced on Silas and Katy and the two other men fired at Jarrod above.  If anyone present could have concentrated on anything outside their immediate needs, they would have heard many more shots being fired and Barkley hands dying at the impact of the attacker’s bullets.

 

Katy boldly stood her ground in front of the injured and unmoving Silas.  The large man with the knife grabbed her arm and pulled her to him.  She fought him, but he was simply too large.  Seeing Katy handled so roughly enraged Jarrod and he increased the speed of fire.  Unfortunately it also required him to unveil more of his body and in that moment, two different bullets pierced his flesh. 

 

The searing pieces tore their way through him, one exiting the side of his chest, while the other lodged in the bone of his shoulder.  He fought to retain consciousness, but failed as his precious blood seeped onto the floor around him.

 

Katy’s scream ended with a glare from the tall graying man who was apparently in charge and there was silence in the house.  Outside, bullets still sounded.

 

The man, known only as Withers, called to the two other men.  “Get the girl!” 

 

Another rough looking man from outside entered the foyer.  “We got the rest of them, Boss.”

 

Katy found her voice.  “What do you want?”

 

“Nothing but your daughter.”

 

“No, please.”  Katy tried to struggle again. 

 

“Sorry.  She’s needed elsewhere.”

 

Meanwhile upstairs, Ellen secured her two young sons in their cribs and cautiously opened the door.  Peering around the door, she saw Jarrod sprawled on the floor, his gun next to him.  She then heard her sister-in-law scream and knew she had to try and help.  She shuffled quietly down the hall and moved, unobserved to Jarrod’s side.  She reached for his gun took it in her small hands and turned to the foyer below. 

 

With a voice that belied the size of her body, she shouted out.  “Let her be!”  The new gun pointed at them, didn’t phase them. 

 

Withers laughed.  “No need to get involved with this, Little Woman.  Put the gun down and we’ll get what we need and move on.”

 

She hadn’t heard the first part of the conversation.  “Just what is it you need?”

 

“The girl.  We’ll just take the girl and be off.”

 

“You’re not taking anyone.”  She pulled back the hammer on the gun.

 

The man holding Katy suddenly pushed her at the wall and it was enough to distract Ellen.  The men moved and she fired, but her bullet missed and the impact of the gun sent her sprawling backward.  As the men below made for the door, she fired again and struck the last man to enter in the center of his back.  He fell and the rest let him lie. 

 

Katy paused only long enough to make eye contact with Ellen.  She knew she would see to Jarrod and Silas.  She needed to find her daughter.  She followed Leah’s path to the kitchen and saw the open door.  She prayed her daughter was well hidden.

 

Leah had run as quick as her little legs would carry her.  She ran from the back door, out through the garden and hoped to find shelter in the trees by the creek behind the house.  The burning in her lungs forced her to stop and catch some breath.  As she rested, she heard the shots and cries from the yard and she turned to look, just in time to see Buck Johnson, one of their grooms, get hit by a bullet.  Part of her mind knew she should continue to run, but the other part knew her friends needed help.  Her large heart won the battle and she turned to run toward Buck to help him.

 

She could see five men on horseback riding wildly through the yard, firing at anything that moved.  She reached Buck’s body unnoticed and attempted to turn the much bigger man over.  Her small body struggled and managed to turn just his upper body.  She saw a gaping hole with blood pouring out, scaring her.  She let out a small scream.

 

Leah’s scream penetrated the air and the men on horses honed in on her.  She debated just a second, before deciding she needed to run again.  She started off but was quickly run down and scooped up by one of the men, who called out, “I got the girl!”

 

The man rode over to the barn entrance with the other men as two others ran out of the front doors and mounted their waiting horses.  Withers looked back over his shoulder, expecting to see Katy follow them.  She didn’t appear.  Motion at the side of the house caught his eye and he saw her moving toward the men.  He spurred his horse and moved himself in between she and Leah. 

 

“Please.  No.  Don’t take my daughter!”

 

His only response was to throw a folded piece of paper at her.  “You follow those directions to the letter and I promise, as a man of honor, you will see your daughter again unharmed.  You do anything different, and I will kill her with my bare hands.”

 

The six men rode out in a flurry of dust and the screams of her daughter.

 

 

Two~

 

Katy Barkley stood stunned and watched the cloud of dust that contained her daughter, as it became a distant speck.  It was the moans of the men around her that shook her from her agony.  She saw Ken Wilson by the barn, trying to help another man, while bleeding from a hit to his own arm. 

 

“Ken, is anyone able to ride?”

 

“I think I am best fit, Ma’am.  I’ll get to town and get help.”

 

“Are you sure you can?”

“I will.  I got no choice.”

 

He grabbed the nearest saddled horse and rode off.  Katy focused her energy on the men outside.  Already, she had found three dead.  The tears streamed down her face, but she didn’t feel them.  She was numb.

 

As she was nearing the house, she heard Ellen calling for her.  As she ran in, she could hear the babies crying upstairs.  Jarrod was only semi-conscious, but trying to make his way down the stairs.  Ellen was trying to stem the flow of blood from Silas’ back. 

 

As much as she hated to leave the boys in terror, Katy knew Jarrod needed her more.  She moved to his side, trying to control his actions. He was pale and losing too much blood.  She ripped at her petticoats, stuffing them into his wounds.  He cried out in pain, focusing his eyes on her. 

“Hold still, Jarrod.  Help is on the way.”

 

“Le..”

 

“Just rest.  You need to save your energy.”

 

~ Hours later ~

 

Nick was pacing in the hallway outside of Jarrod’s room.  Dr. Merar had been with Jarrod for some time and each minute brought greater agony to Nick.  He hadn’t been there when his family needed him most.  When Ellen came out of the nursery, he enveloped his petite wife into his arms, both needing to be held.

 

“Are the boys settled?”  Nick whispered into his wife’s hair.

 

“Yes.”

 

“I’m sorry.”  Nick had attempted to hold his infant son, but he couldn’t control his emotions, feeding the unrest of the baby.  He had no idea how his wife had managed to hide her emotions from their sons, but she had done it and both now slept.

 

“It’s alright.”  She hugged him tighter.

 

The whole story had not been told, as too many men needed attention.  Their first priority had been the men.  In all, four Barkley hands had been killed, including Ciego, while two more still struggled for life and two others were injured.  Helen Merar, upon hearing of the deadly attack at the ranch, had gathered volunteers to help with nursing.  There was no lack of help available.  Finally, Jarrod’s door opened and Howard stepped out.

 

“How is he?”

 

“He’s hanging in there.  I think he’ll be fine, with a lot of rest.”

 

“Is he awake?”

 

“No.  He’s asleep.”  He eyed Nick closely.  “It’s exactly what he needs.  So do you all.”

“NO.  We need to get after those sorry excuses for men.”

 

“Where?  The sheriff has a posse on the trail, or have they found something?”

 

Nick’s voice was unusually quiet.  All knew that this was tearing him apart.  “No.  Nothing.”

 

“I need to go check on Silas.”  Howard Merar started to walk around Nick and Ellen, but Nick’s arm reached out to stop him.

 

“Will he make it?”

 

He was silent.  “Silas is an old man.  I just don’t know if he has it in him to survive this.”

 

Nick and Ellen followed him down the stairs.  In recent years, as both Victoria and Silas had aged, a ground floor wing had been added to the mansion.  The brother’s didn’t like their mother or Silas taking the stairs on a regular basis, so both now had rooms downstairs.  Between the four of them, Victoria, Silas, Katy and Ellen, the house was as well run as ever. 

 

Howard entered Silas’s room, pushing Katy out.  She and Helen had not left Silas’s side.  Katy stopped just outside the door, unaware of Nick and Ellen.  A stricken look came over her face and she hugged herself as tears threatened to overwhelm her.  Nick slipped from his wife’s hand, pulling Katy into his arms.  As strong as she had been, the thought of losing her daughter too, was tearing her apart.  Nick felt his shoulder grow wet as her silent tears fell.  When she had calmed and her breathing had settled, he pulled back.

 

“We have to talk.”

 

She sniffed.  “Jarrod?”

 

“He’ll be fine.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Yes, what?”

 

“We have to talk.”

 

He escorted her into the parlor, where Ellen met them with a tray of tea.

 

“Thanks for the tea, Honey, but anyone want anything stronger?”  He moved to the liquor trolley, pouring himself a full glass of whiskey and slammed it down.  He took another bottle, poured a half glass and turned to Katy.  “Katy?  A little Irish courage?”

 

She had been standing at the piano bench and didn’t hear Nick right away.  When she finally turned to him, he gave her the glass.  She drank hers equally fast.  “I’m never gonna make her play again if she doesn’t want to.”

 

“Now, that’s a bit rash.  We’ll get her home and things will settle back to normal.”

 

The front door opened and Sheriff Madden entered.

 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” 

 

“Do you have her?”

 

He shook his head.  “I’m sorry.  We lost them.”

 

“HOW?”  Nick was red faced with rage.  His vow to care for his only niece was shattering before his very eyes.

 

“Nick, let him speak.”  Katy was the voice of reason.

 

“They split up.  I still got men trailing them.”  He turned to Katy, hesitating.  “I need to see that note, Katy.”

 

“No.”

 

“Katy, please give him the note.  He can help.”  Ellen placed a soothing hand on Katy’s shoulder.

 

“No.  It says no law, or she dies.”  She paused and drew in a deep breath.  “Thank you, but we’ll handle it from here.”

 

“Katy!”

 

Nick moved to the sheriff’s side, gently ushering him toward the door.  “Let us talk to her and I’ll keep in touch.”

“Nick, I understand her fear, but these men are not just kidnappers.  They are murderers.  This is for me to handle.  You have enough going on here.”

 

“I know.  I will do what I can.”

 

Nick rejoined the women.  “So, Katy, do we get to see the letter?”

 

Before handing him the letter, she reinforced her position.  “Nick, I saw his eyes.  He’ll kill her.”  She then handed him the letter and he read it aloud.

 

“Deliver $250,000 in small bills to Mesilla.

We’ll be waiting for your arrival. 

So long as no one does anything stupid, she will live.

Do not involve the law.”

 

“Mesilla?”  Ellen was unfamiliar with it.

 

“It’s in New Mexico.”  Nick was rereading the note, hoping the words would change.

 

“Nick, I don’t have that kind of money.”

 

“Yes, we do.”

 

“But…”

 

Nick thought for a moment.  “You’re one of us.  We’ll need to liquidate some assets.  I wish Jarrod were able to help.”

 

“I’m so sorry.  I can’t ask the family to sacrifice like this.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous.  We love her too.  We will do whatever we have to do to get her back safely.”

 

“We’ll need help.”

 

“I can assemble a few good men.”

 

“You’ll need another one.”

 

Nick was silent, knowing what she meant, and then at last said one word.  “No.”

 

“He can help.”

 

“He doesn’t care, remember?”

 

“He doesn’t know.”

 

“I’m not waiting around for him.  You do what you have to do; I’ll do what I have to.”

 

Wires were sent to Virginia and elsewhere.  Victoria and Audra responded that they were on their way.  No other responses were received.

 

The days ticked off as Jarrod healed and Nick scrambled to gather the money.  Silas remained unconscious.  Dr. Merar was still not willing to make a positive prognosis.  Someone always sat with him, as it helped occupy their minds.

 

~ Elsewhere in the West ~

 

The hot sun was blazing down on their backs as they chopped at the fallen tree.  The younger man stopped his work and sat down to drink from his canteen. 

 

”Boy Howdy,” he said teasing the older man.  “You sure work hard for a man your age.”

 

“And you don’t work hard enough for a man yours.”

 

They both laughed.  “Come on, take a break.”

 

The older man reluctantly sat next to him and took a long drink from his own canteen.  He had to admit; it felt good to rest.  He was tired.

 

“I don’t get you.”

 

“What’s to get?”

 

“You.  You just don’t seem to belong here.”

 

“Why not?”

“You belong doing something better.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like having your own spread.  Whatcha doing working for someone else?  You know more about ranching then Smithton.”

 

“I doubt that.”

 

“Then you’re lying to yourself.  Dont’cha want something more?”

 

He thought for a moment.  “I had it once.  It’s hard to hold on to.”

 

They finished their task and rode back to the bunkhouse in silence. 

 

“Howdy, Boys.  Hey Carson, a telegram came for you today.  Thought you were a loner?  Who’d be contacting you?”  The foreman handed him the envelope.  On the outside was scrawled his name, Tim Carson.  He opened it, scanning its contents.

 

“I gotta go.”

 

“Go?  You can’t go.”

 

“Then I quit.”

 

He left the other men in stunned silence.  He went to his bunk, packed his meager belongings and climbed upon his great bay. 

 

“If you ride off, don’t plan on coming back.”

 

“I won’t.”

 

Three~

 

Tim Carson was born just short of seven years ago, on a cold night alone on the prairie, Tim, the name of his deceased son and Carson, his wife’s father’s name.  He was now sitting on a train, riding to a place he had vowed never to see again.  It was all a bit too overwhelming.  His daughter was taken and men were murdered in the process.  The wire had not alluded to much, but subsequent newspapers had revealed the story.  He had a daughter.  No, his wife did.  No, the Barkleys lost a child.  He could lay claim to neither.

 

One week had passed since the brutal attack and kidnapping at the Barkley ranch.  Silas had finally begun to show some improvement and Jarrod was clamoring to get out of bed.  That morning had found him sneaking down the stairs unassisted.  Much to Dr. Merar’s disdain, they settled him in the parlor, wrapped in blankets.  Victoria and Audra would arrive on the afternoon train. 

 

Katy opted to remain with Jarrod, Silas and the boys, while Ellen and Nick went to town to pick up their mother and sister.  Little did the family know, another person had joined the train at the last stop. 

 

Victoria now made an annual visit to her daughter in Virginia at the first of each year.  She would reside there throughout the difficult California winter months.  Although older and frailer, she was still a commanding presence.  Audra had married a horse breeder in Virginia and they now had two young boys as well.  Audra had wisely brought a nanny to help with the children during the difficult ordeal.  Nick greeted his nephews warmly and began to herd everyone to the waiting buggy.  It took Victoria and Audra some time to load up as many people stopped them en route but eventually they were on their way.

 

The other traveler pulled his hat down low and disembarked from the train.  He prayed no one recognized his horse.  Charger had a reputation and would most likely be recognized before he would.  He climbed on the horse, riding quickly out of town.  Due to his directness, he arrived before the buggy.

 

He was stopped at the front gate by armed guards who watched his every move.  They were taking no chances.  He identified himself as Tim Carson.  A man escorted him to the front doors and there, Duke McCall took over.

 

“My God!”

 

“Duke.  How are you?”

 

“I…  I don’t know what to say.”

 

“She inside?”

 

“Ya.”

 

“Everyone else?”

 

“No.  They went to town to meet the train with your mother and sister.”

 

He smiled at his near miss.  He was tempted to correct the Barkley foreman and remind him that he had no family, but he opted for no battle this early.  There would be time enough for the war.

 

Katy heard the front door opened and assumed it was the whole crew.  She ushered young Ben ahead of her and held the baby tight.  Ben, with all the exuberance of a toddler, ran ahead of her and straight to the stranger in the foyer.

 

“Hi!”

 

“Well, howdy, Little Man.  What’s your name?”

 

“Ben.” 

 

Ben didn’t seem to think much of the stranger as he turned and tottered into the parlor where his toy train was waiting.  Katy did think a lot of the stranger.  She stood frozen on the stairs until the baby’s squirming roused her.  She moved slowly down the stairs, as if each tread was quicksand.

 

“I didn’t think you’d come.”

 

“You asked.  I came.  That was the deal.”  He admired the baby in her arms.  She deserved that.  She deserved the happiness that children brought her. 

 

“I suppose I should say, I didn’t think you’d arrive in time.”

 

“So, I’m not too late?”

 

“No.  Nick assembled the money and intends to ride out tomorrow.”

 

“Good.”

 

“He’ll fight you on it.”

 

“I know.”

 

They stood in silence.  The only noise was the choo-choo sounds from Ben in the parlor.  Several minutes passed with neither knowing just what to say.  Jarrod, waking from a nap, broke the tension.

 

“Katy?  Who is it?  It can’t be mother and Audra yet.”

 

“No, Jarrod.  He’s come home.  He’s here to help.”

 

Jarrod was shocked and started to sit up.  He moved too quickly, letting out a groan.  They rushed to his side. 

 

“Jarrod, no, you mustn’t move.”

 

“Heath!”

 

“Jarrod”  It was quiet.

 

Jarrod held out his hand and it looked as if Heath would ignore it, but at the last second, he took the outstretched hand.  Jarrod held it firmly and pulled his brother to him.  Just as his arms were about to wrap around his long lost brother, Heath pulled back.  Katy placed the baby in the cradle.  Ben disrupted the tension.

 

“Who is this?”

 

Jarrod coughed lightly and then spoke.  “It’s your uncle Heath.”

 

Both Katy and Jarrod watched Heath’s face closely for reaction.

 

“I ain’t got an uncle Heaf.  I got an uncle Nick and Uncle Joe and you Uncle Jarrod.”

 

“Ben, this is your daddy’s brother.  He’s been gone for a long while.”

 

“Are you gonna help bring Leah home?”

 

Heath was lost in a world of confusion and emotion.  He assumed the boy was Katy’s.  Had she married Nick?

 

Ben again disrupted Heath’s thoughts, but this time it was shrieks of joy.  “Mama, Papa, Nana!”  He ran to the crowd of people who had just come through the door and through himself at his grandmother.

 

“Benjamin, don’t run at your Grandma like that!” 

 

Ben ignored his mother’s reprimand and enjoyed the tight hug from the grandma he missed.  She was equally pleased.

 

“Benjamin, you’ve grown a foot!”  Audra grabbed him from her mother.

 

“No, I haven’t auntie Audra.  I still gots two.”

 

Everyone laughed. 

 

“Hey, anyone care to say hello to me?”  Jarrod’s weakened voice reached the foyer.

 

They laughed again, shifting into the parlor.  Victoria immediately moved to her eldest and checked him for fever.

 

“Mother, really.”

 

Audra’s children, twin boys, Todd and Joseph Jr., a year older than Ben, sat down and became lost in the train set before them.  Heath had moved to the window but had yet to be noticed.  Jarrod and Katy temporarily forgot him.

 

“Katy, Darling, how are you handling this?”  Victoria took her hands and pulled her to the chair across from Jarrod.

 

“I…  I can’t help but think there was something I should have done.”

 

“No, Dear.”

 

“I just want her back.”

 

“We’ll have her home in no time!  I got our best men riding out with me in the morning.”  Nick’s voice was confident, but tinged with nervousness.

 

“You do now.”  A grin spread across Jarrod’s face.

 

“And just what is that supposed to mean?”

 

“He means me.”  Heath stepped from the window.  Audra gasped and ran to him.  She threw her arms around him, but the welcome was not returned.

 

Ellen picked up the baby when he began to cry as the tension thickened the air.  Victoria suggested she, Ellen and Audra take the children in for a snack and then short naps.  They still needed to see Silas as well.

 

After the others had left, there was more silence.

 

“We don’t need you here.”

 

“Katy sent for me.”

 

“I know.  I told her not to.  You don’t deserve to be here.”

 

“She’s my daughter.”

 

“Oh yea, what’s she look like?  What’s her favorite food?  Toy?  What side of the bed does she sleep on?”  He paused and watched the haunted look fall on Heath’s face, but felt no remorse.  “You may have sired her, but you ain’t no father.  Father’s don’t run out.”

 

“Oh, they don’t?”  The irony of the statement was lost on no one in the room. 

 

Nick grew silent.  He moved to the fireplace and stared at its empty hearth. 

 

“I need to know exactly what happened.”

 

Nick lost his temper.  “So, Now we have to relive the whole experience because you just now showed up.  Where have you been, BROTHER?”

 

Katy said nothing for some time.  “You can argue, fight or kill each other when OUR daughter is HOME!  Nick, we need him.  You can’t go storming in there with an army or she will get killed.  Whether you like it or not, we need HIM!”

 

“She’s right, Nick.”  Heath bit his lower lip and Jarrod attempted to soothe his brother’s temper. 

 

Nick’s head slumped in defeat.  “So what happens when we get her home?”

 

“I’ll g…”

 

Katy cut off Heath’s reply.  “Let’s get her home first.”

 

They spent the next hour discussing the plan.  There were several loud arguments.  Everyone in the house was stunned to hear Heath’s voice raised just as often as Nick’s.  When there was nothing left to say, Heath left the house.

 

Katy attempted to follow him, but was stopped by Victoria. 

 

“Kathleen, may I go and talk to him?”

 

Katy was silent as she held an internal debate.  “Please, Victoria.  I know you care, but I really need to talk to him first.”

 

“I understand.”

 

Her absent husband assumed his typical stance at the fence around the corral.  He leaned on its top rail with one foot propped on its bottom.  With the sun setting against his profile, golden rays reflecting off his still sun-kissed hair, she was stirred with longing.  The feelings tried to overwhelm her, tears touching the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill forth in large quantities.  She approached him slowly, using the time to regain control of her emotions.

 

“Your mother has taken over the kitchen.  She’s making fried chicken.  It almost makes me hungry.”

 

He was tempted to remind her that Victoria Barkley was not his mother, at least not anymore.  He decided to forego the route that would lead to a battle, opting for polite conversation.  “You need to eat.  Keep your strength up.  She’s gonna need you when we get her home.”

 

“She has a name.  Leah.”

 

“I know.”

 

“She’s beautiful.  She looks like you.  She has large bright blue eyes and golden blonde hair.  Of course, she has your button nose too.”  She chuckled to herself as she envisioned her daughter in her mind, causing tears to again well.  She saw by the set of his jaw, that he was struggling to maintain his blank expression.  She knew, despite any words he would say, that this was killing him inside.

 

“I won’t tell her who I am.”

 

“What?”

 

“It will be easier for her, if she doesn’t know me.”

 

“How can you say that?  You’re her father!”

 

“You heard Nick.  It takes a lot more then simply siring her to be her father.”  He laughed for a second. 


”What’s so funny?”

 

“When I saw you on the stairs, I thought Ben and the baby were yours.  I thought you had remarried.”

 

“Never.”

 

He ignored her response, continuing on.  “Then for a second, I thought you had married Nick.”

 

“What? Nick is very happily married to Ellen.  More importantly, I don’t love him like that.  I love you.”

 

“You should, you know, remarry.”

 

“I told you I wouldn’t.”

 

“Don’t say that.  You can file for desertion.  Jarrod will help you.  You can find a man you deserve and have lots more children.”

 

“I won’t do that.  You’re my husband.  You always will be, even if…”

 

“Even if I go again?  I will.”

 

An idea suddenly came to her.  “Why not divorce?”

 

“What?”

 

“Why don’t we divorce?”

 

He was startled and she knew it.  His voice was soft and quiet.  “If that’s what you want.”

 

“Why?  Isn’t it what you want?  Then you would be free of me.”

 

That raised his hackles.  “I don’t wa…” He stopped himself in time.

 

“I don’t either.”

 

Four~

 

Ellen hesitated, but called to the couple.  “Dinner is ready.”

 

Katy replied over her shoulder.  “On our way.”

 

She turned to go, sensing Heath’s resistance.  “Don’t want to let Nick eat it all, do you?”

 

“I’m not hungry.”

 

“Heath, Please.  It’s your first night home.”

 

“I told ya.  I ain’t home.”

 

“You have to eat.”

 

“I’ll get something at the bunkhouse or cook up some beans later.”

 

“Cook some beans?”

 

“I’ll be back at sunrise to help stow the gear.”

 

“You’re not staying?”

“No.”

 

“Heath, please.  I need you.”

 

“No, Kathleen.  You don’t. It’s best not to depend on me.”

 

“So, you think if you go away for nearly seven years you can still read me?”

 

“No, I don’t presume anything.”  He paused.  “But I can’t stay, much less under that roof.”

 

Kathleen Mary Barkley was now angry, altering her stance to show him.  “You’re scared.  Scared that if you stay or get too close, you might want to come home for good.”

 

“I always have been.  ‘S no secret.”  He strode over to the barn, grabbed Charger and rode off to places unknown.

 

As Katy entered the foyer, Nick was helping Jarrod into the dining room.  Ben was following his cousins, however, stopped to ask her where his “new” uncle was.  She told him that he wasn’t coming in.  He accepted it, moving to rejoin the others.  She did notice Nick’s head twitch at the news.

 

Dinner was only remotely normal.  Jarrod was arguing with his mother about going with the men in the morning.  She, of course, refused to allow it.  He insisted that he could easily ride in the train and then the wagon that would haul the strong box of money.  Hardly anyone ate a meal, most just picking at the food.  Ben, Todd and Joe Jr. were chattering nonstop, unaware of the tension in the room.

 

As the family turned in for the evening, Jarrod and Victoria were still arguing.  Nick silenced them both.  “Let Jarrod come.  He might be the only thing that keeps me from killing him.”  They both knew he meant Heath.

 

Tim Carson rode out that night, repeating his new name over and over again.  He needed to convince himself that Heath Barkley truly was dead.  He had spent years adjusting to life without them.  He didn’t want to lose that work now.  He couldn’t.  Those years had been the hardest of his life.  He always assumed that his childhood, or his time at Carterson would be the biggest challenges of his life.  They both paled in comparison to trying to live life without the ones he loved most in the world.  Yet, it was because of them, that it was necessary.

 

He found himself in front of the burnt out remains of a once grand home.  The pain at which the memories flooded back into his brain caused him to cry out.  It threatened to consume him.

 

“Papa?”

 

“Ya, Tim.”

 

“Tomorrow, when you come get me, can we go look at that pony again?”

 

Heath smiled at his son’s barely contained excitement.  “I think that might be a good idea.  I’ll ask your ma.”

 

“Ask his ma, what?”

 

She kissed her son on the head and waited for a response.

 

“Tim wants to go check out that pony tomorrow when we get back.”

 

“I don’t know.  It’s still a week before his birthday.”

 

“Ma…”

 

“Perhaps if you’re a good boy for your aunt and uncle, we can arrange that.”

 

Tim, the spitting image of his father, except for his mother’s green eyes, hugged his mother tight.  “I will be, Ma.  I promise.”

 

“See that you are, Son.”  Heath ruffled his son’s hair. 

 

Back in the present, Heath found himself wondering if it would have made a difference had he told his son he loved him.  He hadn’t.  He had ruffled his hair instead, missing a key opportunity.  He left, riding further before making his small camp for the night.

 

Predawn was cold and dreary.  It was a perfect fit for the occupants of the stately home.  Heath had already loaded the wagon with the necessary supplies, when Victoria found him.

 

“You got an early start, Darling.”  She reached her hand out and touched his arm.  She needed it.  She was just old enough to no longer trust her eyes.  She needed to feel his strong arm and the pulse that beat beneath its weathered exterior. 

 

He reacted by pulling his arm away.  “Please don’t.  I’m not stayin’.”

 

“Of course not.  You’re going to bring your daughter home.”

 

“She’s not mine.”

 

Victoria laughed.  “She most certainly is.  Kathleen told you how she looks like you, but she has your spirit too.  She is addicted to horses.  For the most part she is quiet, observing everything.  You can’t hide anything from that child.” She laughed again.  “She does have her mother’s fiery Irish temper.  I suppose that could be Barkley too.”

 

“I’m sure you’ve all taken good care of her and she’s well loved.”

 

“She is.  But none of us could replace you.”

 

“Thank you.  Thanks for taking care of Katy and Leah, too I guess.”

 

“You knew we would.”

 

“Ya.”

“I never agreed with your leaving.”

 

“I never expected you to.”

 

“You’re my son and you always will be.”

 

“It’s best you give up that idea.”

 

“I disagree.  Heath, bring her back.”

 

“We will.”

 

“And stay.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

Victoria argued no more.  She knew in her heart, as she always had, he need only look in his daughter’s eyes once, and he’d be home.  There was nothing in life she was more certain of.  He would not make the same mistake as his father.

 

The rest of the family gathered in front of the house to wish the small group farewell.  The fussing baby clung to Ellen’s neck as she hugged Nick and wished him Godspeed.  Nick held her tightly a few extra minutes.  Kissing his son on the head, he turned to Katy.

 

“We’ll have her home before you know it.”

 

“I know.  Take care of yourselves.  We want ALL of you home.”

 

Kissing his wife and son once again, Nick climbed on his horse.  Jarrod was slowly climbing onto the wagon seat.  Since he wasn’t up to driving, Carl Weathers, one of the trusted hands, did so.   Heath waited patiently off to the side, feeling Katy’s eyes bore through him.  She approached him. 

 

“Take care of yourself.”

 

“I’ll get her home safely.  I promise.”

 

She noted his use of the pronoun and his inability to look at her.  “I know you will.  That’s why I sent for you.”

 

“Let’s move!”  Nick’s voice bellowed in the quiet predawn air.

 

They had made arrangements at the bank to store the strong box.  Henry Pierson, the bank manager, met them at this early hour and facilitated the removal of the box to the wagon.  They next met the early train, where they loaded the entire wagon into a private car for the duration of their train travels.  The Barkley passenger car was next to it and the brothers settled themselves, leaving the hands to guard the wagon.  Heath settled into the farthest corner of the car, away from his brothers. 

 

Jarrod might normally have been rocked to sleep by the swaying motion of the train, but that same once comforting motion, served only to jar his recuperating shoulder.  He chose instead, to watch his blond brother through half-slit eyes.  He had changed in seven years, hadn’t they all?  Had his hair darkened, or was it merely the small patches of grey forming at his temples?  He was thinner, a battle the family had long fought with him.  Perhaps most striking were the additional laugh lines near his eyes, not from laughing, but life and the choices he had made.  Gradually, Jarrod succumbed to the sleep his body craved, misplacing his musings.

 

He snaked his arm around his wife’s waist and pulled her close.  “Beth, maybe we should learn a little something from my little brother.”

 

Beth kissed her husband’s cheek.  “And what might that be?”

 

“A night away?  A trip to San Francisco, fancy restaurants, romantic hotel suites?”

 

“mmm…  Sounds wonderful, maybe in a few months.”

 

“Months?”

 

“Darling, I am not quite ready to leave your daughter, nor is she ready for me to leave.”

 

As if on cue, cries emanated from a nearby room, causing mother and father to smile at each other. 

 

“Ma!  Tori’s crying.  Stop her!”  JT Barkley entered his parent’s room with his hands on his hips.

 

“Yes, Darling.  I’ll see to her immediately.”  Beth swept past her husband and son, leaving them alone in the room.

 

“Pa?”

 

“Yes, Son?”

 

“Can we go get Tim?”

 

Jarrod laughed at his son’s excitement.  After the attack on Beth by Cass Hyatt, it had been many months before she healed from the near deadly assault.  He had hunted Hyatt like an animal, stopping just short of killing him.  The were careful the first few years, not wanting to get pregnant before Beth’s body was fully ready.  In that time, Heath had met Kathleen, married and delivered Tim in their first year of marriage.  The first Barkley grandchild had brought lots of commotion with him and soon Beth and Jarrod delivered Jarrod Thomas Junior, JT.  The two boys were the best of friends.  Four short months ago Victoria Elizabeth had joined their family as well.

 

“No, JT.  Heath and Katy will bring him this morning.  Have you finished your chores?”

 

JT grew suspiciously quiet.  “I figured Tim could help me.”

 

“I don’t think so.  I’m sure Tim would much rather fish.”

 

He lightly swatted his son on his behind and he scampered off to complete his chores.

 

Jarrod poured himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen and sat on the front porch reading a paper.  They had built their dream home on the lake.  He sometimes pinched himself from the happiness and contentment he felt.

 

Five~

 

Nick couldn’t rest like his brothers.  He paced in their wagon and then went back to the other to spell the other men.  How could they just rest?  Didn’t they understand the implications?  Leah was out there in the hands of monsters.  He understood Jarrod.  Not only was he recovering, but he was always calm, a trait inherited from their mother.  The older he got, the more often he found himself wishing he had a bit more Victoria Barkley in him.     It’s what made Jarrod such a good lawyer.  That way was never intended for him.  His blood burned with the passions of the land, when it was calm, so was he.  When it spurned and raged, he did as well.  Just as man would never tame Mother Nature, Nick would never tame his passions.  One of those passions was certainly scared and alone right now.  He hoped he would have the opportunity to tear this man, Withers, apart limb from limb.  A bullet would be too good for him.  The sick monster needed to look into the eyes of a man whose rage was forged from the love a child. 

 

He had tried to understand, even accept Heath’s decision to leave.  In this moment, logic failed him and rage took over.  How could a man who professed such love for his family, leave them?  His absence had left a gapping hole in Nick’s heart, which had often been filled with anger, until he met Ellen.  He tried to imagine a situation so dire that he would leave his wife and children.   He tried to imagine abandoning his wife during the delivery of his sons.  He pounded his fist into the side of the wagon to release some energy.

 

He had come home late from another night in town.  For seven months he had attempted to lose the pain in wicked ways.  Nothing worked.  He stumbled at the top of the stairs and saw Katy exit her room, clutching at her bulging abdomen.

 

“Nick?  Help.  Please.”  She stopped and took several deep breaths.

 

Nick was instantly sobered. Victoria had been called to San Francisco when Audra, visiting friends, had taken a fall.  It should have been fine; Katy had several weeks before her delivery date.  There was only he and Jarrod to help.  “Go back to bed.  We’ll get help.” Without knocking, he entered his brother’s room, shaking him awake.

 

Jarrod was groggy but could smell the alcohol.  “Nick, for heavens sake, whatever it is can wait until you’re sober.”

 

“I gotta go for the doc.  Katy’s in labor.”

 

Jarrod sat instantly up.  “You’re in no condition to ride well.  I’ll go.”

 

“You think I’m in any condition to help her?”

 

“You’ll be more help here then falling out of the saddle.”

 

Jarrod quickly dressed, leaving his brother alone, outside the room Katy and Heath had once shared.  Katy’s moans could be heard from within; cursing his younger brother’s name, he entered.  

 

“Nick…” She said his name through gritted teeth, holding out her hand.

 

He approached her, talking her hand firmly in his.  “I’m here.  I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

 

The doctor arrived, ushering Nick from the room.  Katy refused to release his hand.  Howard Merar could tell there was no time for an argument, nodding to Nick to stay.

In no time at all, an amazing pink, wrinkled bundle with a button nose and big sapphire eyes was thrust into Katy’s waiting arms.  Nick sat next to her, stunned by the awe of it all. 

 

Through quiet tears of joy, Katy spoke softly to her new daughter.  “You look just like him you know.  He’ll be so proud.”  She turned her body, showing Nick more of the child.  “Would you like to hold your niece?”

 

He took the tiny bundle in his arms, holding her close.  He was speechless.

 

Jarrod joined them, offering his congratulations.  “What’s this beauty’s name?”

 

“Leah Louisa, after our mothers.”

 

“Uncle Nick, do I get to hold Leahloo or are you going to hold her forever?”

 

Nick reluctantly handed the child to his brother.  He silently vowed to never let her out of his sight.  He would serve the child, as her father should have. 

 

Carl and the other hand, Jeb Marsden returned to the wagon.  “We got watch now, Boss.”

 

“We’ll be back to guard at the stops.”

 

He knew the men wanted him to leave, having no desire to rejoin his brothers; he moved slowly.  Jarrod was sound asleep and Heath continued to huddle in the corner.  Nick sat at a table, reading the newspaper before him.  After a few hours, a conductor came through to let them know a stop was forthcoming. Nick decided to let Jarrod sleep, indicating to Heath.

 

“We’ll need to guard the box during stops.”

 

“Thanks to all your press coverage.”

 

“My press coverage?  You act like we released the information.”

 

“Didn’t ya?”

 

“NO.”

 

“Every man in the west will be after that trunk.”

 

“Well, aren’t we glad the great Heath Barkley is here to save us all!”

 

Heath lunged at Nick, slamming him against the wall of the car.  “Don’t do this, Nick. Don’t or I swear…”

 

“Swear what, Brother?”  His tone of voice revealed the hatred so long brewing within him.  “You left US.  Never forget that!”

 

Unnoticed, Jarrod laid his hand on Heath’s shoulder.  “There’s no time for this.”

 

Heath released his grip and the three moved into the next car for the duration of the stop.  They didn’t need to stay long; it was a short stop.  As they reentered their own car, Jarrod suggested they get some lunch.  Nick immediately volunteered to order something from the steward.  As soon as he had left, Jarrod turned to Heath.

 

“Heath…”

 

“I don’t wanna talk, Jarrod.”

 

“He loves her.”

 

“I expect so.”

 

“I think he blames himself.”

 

“He was out on the range.”

 

“But I wasn’t.”

 

“You did what you could.  Wasn’t your fault.”

 

“It’s funny.  The human mind has an immeasurable capacity to learn, grow and direct; yet the heart controls us.  Doesn’t matter how logical a situation is, the heart forces the mind to play second fiddle.  Hearts are so powerful, but so fragile.”

 

“Real poetic, Jarrod.  What’s your point?”

 

“It wasn’t your fault, Heath.  No one blamed you then and no one blames you now.”

 

“You’re wrong.  I blame me, then and now.”

 

Nick returned, cutting off their conversation.  “Lunch’ll be here shortly.”

 

Jarrod and Nick sat down at the table and ate when the steward arrived.  Heath declined.  Jarrod began to argue with him, but Nick waved him off.  “He’s a grown man.  He’ll eat if he wants.”

 

Heath returned to his corner and his memories as he dozed.

 

“Heath, Tim seems a bit warm.  Maybe we shouldn’t go?”

 

“Katy, we’ve been planning this night for months.  I’m sure it’s nothing.  Besides, Beth and Jarrod can handle anything.”

 

“But, Heath…”

 

“So you don’t want to hear this Irish tenor?”  He flashed her his famous lopsided grin.

 

She smiled, unable to resist him, ever.  “Fine.  You win, Mr. Barkley.”

 

“I win?  Never.  You, Mrs. Barkley, always win.”  He kissed her full on the mouth.

 

“Heath!  Stop it.”  She gave him a devilish smile.  “Save that for tonight.  I hear we have a fireplace in the room.”

 

“Mrs. Barkley, you shock me!”  He allowed the horses more rein, speeding them up.

 

Jarrod too, drifted back in time after lunch.

 

Beth stood on the porch next to him, Tori on one arm and a glass of lemonade in her hand.  “Wish you were out there with them?”

 

He accepted the cool glass and the baby.  “Me?  No way.  I couldn’t keep up with them.”

 

“Have they stopped once?”

 

“Not at all.”

 

She sat next to him and they both watched the boys scamper and frolic on the shore of the lake.  They knew it wouldn’t be long before one or the other went in.

 

“If Heath and Katy hurry, they could provide a playmate for Tori.”

 

“Elizabeth Barkley, where is your mind?”

 

She chuckled.  “Katy is getting impatient.  She’d like another baby soon.”

 

“How about you?”

 

“Jarrod!  We have a baby right now!”

 

“I know and she’s perfect.  How many more can we have?”

 

“How many more would you like?”

 

Tori giggled at the attention her father was giving her toes.  “As many as we can?”

 

Beth leaned in and kissed her husband.  “Sounds perfect.”  Their kiss deepened until a large splash was heard from in front of them.  They looked up and saw that JT had gone in and was in the process of pulling his cousin in after him. 

 

~ Mesilla, New Mexico ~

 

Leah Barkley was doing her best to stay brave.  It had been a long, hard journey.  They had stuffed her in a large trunk during the first part of the trip and then transferred her to the back of a wagon with her hands and feet tied.  She hardly ate, only when they threatened her.  She did accept water from her captors. 

 

They seemed to have arrived at their destination.  She looked around the sparse room, wondering when her uncles would come and save her.  A knock at the door startled her.

Withers entered carrying clothes and a metal pitcher of water.

 

“Wash up and change into these clothes.”

 

“NO!”

 

He grabbed her arm and repeated his command.  “You stink.  I don’t want your smell luring anyone here before we’re ready.”

 

She decided to control her Irish/Barkley temper and obeyed.  “When are you coming?”

 

Six~

 

At each stop the brothers guarded the rear car.  The silence between them was deafening.

Later that day, the conductor told the Barkleys that their cars needed to be switched to a new line at the next stop.  The new train wouldn’t be in for an hour and then would be staying for six hours.  Nick thanked him and asked him to send them dinner for four.

 

When the conductor had left, Jarrod asked the obvious question.  “Ah, Brother Nick, dinner for four?  There are five of us.  I have never known you to miss a meal.”

 

“There’s only four of us been eatin’.”

 

“Nick…”

 

Heath stood.  “I’m goin’ for a walk.  When I get back, I’ll watch the money so the men can eat.”

 

The door hadn’t latched behind him, so Nick slammed it, hard. 

 

“Nicholas Barkley, what was that all about?”

 

Nick grinned at his brother.  He seldom addressed him by his full name.  “What?”

 

“How could you treat him like that?”

 

“He hasn’t eaten anything since he came.  There was a time when you would have pinned him to the ground and forced food in his mouth.”

 

“And there WAS a time when he cared about this family.  Things change!”

 

“Nick…”

 

“How many times you gonna say my name?  What do you want me to do?  He left!  He turned his back on us and you want me to forget that?  Pretend it didn’t happen?”

 

“And yet he’s here.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“Did you ever wonder how Katy got him here so soon?”

 

“He saw the papers…”

 

“No, You know Katy wired him.”

 

Nick was silent.  “You mean she knew where he was?”

 

“I don’t know.  But he got here pretty quick.”

 

Heath came back with the steward bringing the dinners, going directly to the rear car and sending the two guards forward.  He looked at the sandwich in his hand, wishing he had the energy to eat it. 

 

He checked his gun for the hundredth time, seeing to its smooth operation.  He had always feared guns around his children.  Once when he had caught Tim touching his holster, he had reacted with such rage, it had made Tim cry.  It had shocked them both.  Later, as he held his sobbing son, he told him of his fears.  Guns were not toys.  They hurt people.  He made sure Tim knew he was not to touch a gun until his father taught him.  He never got the chance.

 

The wire arrived in San Francisco late at night.  It hadn’t said much, just “Come home immediately.”  They caught the first train home and Nick met them.

 

“Nick, what’s wrong?  Tim got sick didn’t he?”  Katy turned to Heath.  “I told you he was sick.”

 

Heath ignored her.  He couldn’t take his eyes off the pain in Nick’s eyes.  “Nick, what is it?”

 

He couldn’t look them in the eyes anymore, dropping his head.  He thought he could do it.  He thought he could be strong for them.  “Fire.”

 

“Fire?  Where?”

 

“Jarrod’s”

 

“Tim?”

 

“They were trapped.”

 

Katy went pale, grasping Heath’s arm for strength, finding none.  “Is he all right?”


”He’s…” Nick’s voice caught in his throat.  “He’s dead.”

 

~ Stockton ~

 

“Kathleen, won’t you come in?  It’s chilly outside.”

 

Katy was wrapped up in her own arms, rocking on the porch.  “Not yet, Mother.”

 

Victoria returned in a few minutes with an afghan, wrapping it around her shoulders. 

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Is there anything I can do?”

“No.  The waiting is so hard.  I just want my little girl back.”

 

Victoria wrapped her arms around the hurting mother.  “You’re still cold.”

 

“It’s alright.  At least I can feel the cold, the rest of me is numb.”

 

“Not numb, just tired.”

 

“Is it wrong?”

 

“What, Dear?”

 

“I want him home, too.”

 

“We all do.  I pray each hour, that not only will Leah be home soon, but Heath as well.”

 

“So, its not wrong?”

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

“Is this a private party or can anyone join?”  Ellen and Audra were peering at them from the doorway.

 

“It’s a party for Barkley women, so you must join us.”  Katy offered them a small smile to back up her words.

 

“Are the children all asleep?”

 

“Yes, finally.  I never thought they would settle down.”

 

“They certainly are enjoying themselves.”

 

“Out of every darkness, shines a bright light somewhere.” 

 

The three women were surprised by Katy’s words.  “What?”

 

“My mother used to say that.  She said, that’s why you shouldn’t cry when it seemed dark.  She said, if you were truly living life, you accepted the good with the bad and found something to gain from even the darkest night.”

 

“Your mother was very wise.”

 

“Yes, she was.”

 

“Too bad your mother couldn’t teach Heath that.”  Audra immediately clamped her hand across her mouth.  “I’m so sorry.  I can’t believe I said that.”

 

Katy laughed.  “Why?  Everyone was thinking it.  Besides, your right, however, it is my job to show him…” She paused.  “And I will.”

 

They sat quietly together, listening to the night sounds and sending their prayers to the bright stars above.  One by one they turned in.  Katy lay on her bed, feeling scared and alone. 

 

The days had been long and slow.  Heath was quiet, yet supporting her throughout the ordeal.  They stood alone over their son’s grave, buried next to his grandfather. 

 

“I’m tired of being sorry.”

 

“You have no reason to be sorry.”

 

“I bring nothing but pain to this family.”

 

“That’s not true!  Nick would beat you for talkin’ like that.”

 

Heath turned, walking away from his son’s grave.  Katy followed.

 

“Don’t walk away from me.”

 

“I should have years ago.”

 

“Should have what?”

 

“Walked away.”

 

She grabbed his arm with surprising strength, turning him to her.  “Talk to me!”

 

“You just don’t understand.  You can’t, no one can.”

 

“Understand what?  I can’t if you don’t talk to me.”

 

“No matter how hard I try, I can’t escape my past.  Someone is always reaching out to pull me back.”

 

“And?”

 

“And it end’s up hurting the ones I love in the process.  I have only brought them, and you, pain.”

 

“Heath Barkley, you have brought me more joy, love and happiness then I could have ever hoped for.”

 

“And your son is dead.”

 

“It wasn’t your fault.”

 

“He was out to hurt me.  Me!  Now, everyone suffers, and they paid the ultimate price.  I ain’t brought nothing to this family worth that!”

 

Tears ran down Katy’s face.  “Please, Heath.  Don’t say such things.  I need you now.”

 

“And I will always be here for you, always.”

 

Seven~

 

Jarrod remained in the private car, watching over it, while the rest settled into the storage car.  It was going to be a long night.  The potential for attack made them all increasingly nervous. 

 

Nick could no longer handle the stifling air in the car.  “I’m gonna check outside.”

 

He surveyed the area.  Nothing was moving, except him.  They were a few hours from Phoenix; from there they would continue on the train until Silver City.  The rest of the journey to Mesilla would be on horse.  He had to admit, the money was safer on the moving train, than out in the open.  He had learned the hard way, to always consider safety. There was nothing or no one that could be taken for granted or trusted.

 

“Heath, a cold beer would just about hit the spot, don’t ya think?”

 

“Well, Big Brother, I must admit, sometimes you do have good ideas.”  Taking off his work gloves, a broad grin formed on his face.  “And since it was your idea, I guess that means you’re buyin’!”

 

Nick slapped his brother on the back.  “I just happen to feel pretty generous.”

 

They rode to town, stopping at their favorite saloon.

 

“Two cold beers, Harry.”

 

“That’s a shame, Nick.  I’m running a special on warm ones.”

 

“Ha! Ha!  I pay ya for your beer, not your humor!”

 

Harry slid the beers down to them.  In no time, a satisfied “Aahh!” was heard round the room. 

 

“That was a great idea, Nick.  Now, let’s git home.”

 

“Home?  It’s still early.  How’s about we find us a game to join?”

 

“Nick…”

 

Nick grew suddenly somber.  “I know.  I know.  You got a pretty lil’ wife to get home to.”

 

“Don’t say it like that Nick.”

 

As if he were drunk, he said.  “You’re right, I forgot Tim.  Can’t believe I forgot him.”

 

Heath understood his brother’s sobering mood.  Both he and Jarrod were happily married and Nick longed for the same.  Heath knew that a special woman was destined for Nick, he just hadn’t met her yet. 

 

“How about Saturday night?  We’ll play all night like we used to.”

 

Nick laughed.  “Nope.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Now who’s forgetting?  You’re taking that wife of yours to San Francisco, remember?”

 

“Boy howdy, I forgot.  I promise Nick, soon, real soon.”  As an afterthought, he added.  “Will get Jarrod too.  It’ll be just like old times.”

 

“Ya, just like old times.”  They both knew he didn’t mean it.

 

Heath decided for another beer, indicating to Harry to deliver two more.  As he waited, he noticed a man sitting at a table in the corner, watching them.  He seemed familiar, but he couldn’t place him.

 

“Nick, you recognize that guy in the corner?” 

 

Nick glanced over his shoulder only longer enough to shake his head.  “Nope.  Why?  You?”

 

“He seems familiar…”

 

“Well, go ask him.”

 

“Nah…”

 

They finished their beers, standing to leave.  The man in the corner did likewise, following them out.  Heath sensed him following and slowly mounted Charger, waiting for him to make his move.  Nick noticed as well.

 

“You’re Heath Thomson, ain’t ya?”  He had finally spoken.

 

“I was.  Do I know you?”

 

“Was?  You hiding out from the law yourself now?  Seems to me the only reason to change your name.”

 

Nick cut in.  “I don’t see as how it is any of your business.  What do you want?”

 

“Heh, heh.  I guess you’re right.  I jes wanted to thank ‘im.”

 

“Why?”

 

“You arrested me down in Abilene some years back.”

 

“And?”

 

“Like I said.  I wanna thank ya.  I spent four years in a Texas prison.”

 

“You served your time.”

 

“Yep. I’m a free man.  Thanks to you.”

 

“Come on, Heath.  Let’s go.”

 

Nick was so lost in his thoughts; he didn’t hear Heath approach.

 

“If you’re on guard duty, it’s best not to let your mind wander.”  There was hostility in Heath’s voice.

 

“It ain’t wanderin’.”  Nick refused to admit his mistake.

 

“Ya, that’s why I snuck up on ya.”

 

“You just admitted you were sneaking.”

 

Heath was in no mood for the argument.  Years ago, they would have argued in fun.  This would have been serious, possibly coming to blows they could ill afford.  Walking away, he absently rolled a cigarette.  Refusing to acknowledge them, he heard Nick’s footsteps coming to him.

 

“How’d she find you?”

 

Heath was silent, releasing the smoke slowly from his lungs, enjoying the feel of its burn.

 

Nick grabbed his arm.  There was uncertainty in his tone.  “Has she known where you were this whole time?”

 

Heath knew Nick was about to think the worst of his wife.  “No.”

 

“So, how did she know?”

 

“She didn’t.”

 

“Then HOW did you get here?”

 

Heath took another long drag of his cigarette before speaking.  “When I left, I gave her the name of a man to contact, who would know how to forward wires to me.”

 

“What?”

 

“I told her if she needed me, to wire him.”

 

“So you trusted some STRANGER and not your own FAMILY?!”

 

“He’s no stranger.”

 

“But obviously he meant more to you then we did!”

 

“NO.  It’s not like that.  He…  Never mind.”

 

“Don’t you tell me never mind, BOY.  You hurt this family and you OWE US an explanation.  You told your wife if she needed you, she could contact this man.  Do you think there was a day she DIDN’T need you?  Or us, what about us?  We needed you too!”  Nick’s body shook from anger.

 

“She’s done just fine.  So have you.”

 

“Ya, we’ve done fine.  I sure as hell didn’t want you at my side during my wedding, or when my boys were born.  Much less, when YOUR own daughter was born.  That’s OK.  I was there when Leah was born.  I held her first, ya know.  I did your job.  I did it.”  His voice was dripping with anger and sarcasm.

 

Heath dropped the cigarette from his hand, grinding it with his foot.  “Thanks.”  He turned, walking away.

 

“DON’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME, BOY!”  Nick charged after his brother, grabbing his shoulders, turning the blond to him.

 

“Did it once.  Don’t suspect it’ll be much of a problem to do it again.”

 

He was sprawling on the ground before he knew what hit him.  He laughed, knowing what hit him.  He just hadn’t expected it just yet. 

 

Heath’s laughter annoyed Nick further and he heaved the man back to his feet, flattening him a second time.  This time, Heath retaliated.  Kicking out with his legs, Nick fell over.  Heath sprang on to him, pounding his tight fists into his older brother’s chest and abdomen. 

 

The gunshot forced them both to instantly stop.  Jarrod stood before them with a level of anger on his face, never before seen by either of his younger brothers.  He looked past them.

 

“Have you two got the car secured?”

 

“Yes, Sir.”

 

“Good.  I’m taking these two with me into the other car for a moment.”  He motioned for his brothers to precede him into the private car.  Like two-year-old boys caught with their hands in a forbidden cookie jar, they did as he bid.

 

“Jarrod.”  They both spoke simultaneously, silenced by Jarrod’s glare.

 

“Not ONE word!”  He paused and collected his thoughts.  “There is a little girl out there who wants nothing more then to come home and the two men she loves most in the world are brawling like kids!”

 

Repentant, but unwilling to give in, Nick began.  “Heath…”

 

“I said, NOT ONE WORD!”  He turned to face Nick, not noticing the smirk that had come across Heath’s face.  “You think you are the only one who wants to grind him into the ground?  NO.  You’re NOT.”  Heath paled.  “There will be time enough when Leah is safe in her mother’s arms, until then, YOU WILL CONTROL YOURSELF AND FIGHT THE RIGHT PEOPLE!  Understood?”

 

Nick said nothing, knowing Jarrod was right.  Heath was too stunned at what his brother had said to say anything himself.

 

“Boss!”  They hadn’t noticed Jeb enter the car.

 

Nick looked beyond Jarrod.  “What?”

 

“We got movement outside, ‘bout 50 yards out.”

 

The three brothers went on instant alert, the earlier conflict forgotten.   The only light came from a few lanterns hanging on the ends of each car.  Nick looked in all directions, but saw nothing. 

 

”Where?  I don’t see anything.”  It was difficult to see anything due to cloud cover.

 

Jeb pointed in the direction of the movement.  “There.  The moon was out and I saw someone sink low.”

 

Heath looked up at the sky.  “We can’t see them, but they can sure see us.  Put out those lanterns.”  Carl and Jeb rushed to follow Heath’s orders.  When the lights were out, he turned to Nick.  “Let’s go.”

 

As in days of old, Nick prepared to follow his younger brother without question until Jarrod grabbed his arm.  “Wait!  What if that’s what they want?”

 

The thought hadn’t entered Nick’s mind.  He stopped and resumed his position near Jarrod.

 

“Fine.  You four stay here and guard.  I’ll check it out.” 

 

Before they could respond, the darkness enveloped him.  When Nick discovered he was holding his breath, he also realized all four were on one side of the car.  “You two head to the other side.”  They did so, leaving the brothers alone.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“For what?”

 

“For reminding me what this is about back there.”

 

“Leah needs us.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Heath needs us too.”

 

“What?”

 

“This isn’t easy for him.”

 

“Why should it be?”

 

“It’s his daughter.”

 

“He doesn’t care.”

 

“Yes, he does.  That’s why he left.”

 

A cry pierced the quiet night, freezing both brothers.

 

 

continued in part 2

 

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