Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program Big Valley are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the authors. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted by the author.

 

 Hearts Evolving… by Frauee

 

Liam Winthrop may have always been known as a rascal, but one of his strengths had always been reading people.  This skill had been the single driving force in creating his fortune.  He was seldom wrong.  He had seen Heath’s eyes and Nick’s kiss.  He also knew that his daughter was blind to what was happening around her. She had no clue the effect she had on men.  She felt love for both men certainly, but not passion, at least not yet.  Her heart was pure. 

 

If he did not do something, she and the brothers would all pay the price.  She could never live with herself if she came between the brothers, nor would she ever risk her own love again.  Liam also knew the brothers did not see anything coming.  He had to get her away to save them all.

 

Liam would not be able to simply leave with his daughter.  It would have to be a carefully executed plan.  He would phase out her dependence on Stockton.  His plan involved an extended stay in San Francisco.  He informed his daughter the next afternoon, that he had hoped to spend some quality time with her.  They could spend a month or so avoiding the dreary weather on the ranch.  They could see all the new shows and catch up on “civilized” life.  He used her love of her father, theater and the arts against her.  She reluctantly agreed.

 

On January 2nd, they bid farewell to the Barkley’s and promised to be home soon.  Victoria threw Liam a knowing glance as the train pulled away.  She only hoped that he knew what he was doing.

 

January flew by.  The city was big enough to keep his daughter occupied.  The time was strengthened by visits from various members of the family, especially Jarrod, who was working on a case in town.  She was involved enough with her current life, that the instant in Heath’s arms was all but forgot.  Nick had come to call and taken her to dinner on several occasions.  

 

She had enjoyed these visits immensely.  He had taken her to dinner, dancing and the theater.  She knew these were not his usual Frisco haunts, and she was charmed by his efforts.  Each evening had ended with a perfectly gallant Nick, escorting her to the door of her suite, and a kiss good night.  They held hands and snuggled together in carriages, as only new young lovers know how. 

 

January blended into February and Nick had just paid a particularly memorable visit.  He had presented himself at lunchtime.  She was just preparing to go out and was surprised by the rap at the door.  As she opened the door, the largest and most fragrant bouquet of yellow roses she had ever seen overwhelmed her.  Standing behind the magnificent flowers was one Nicholas J. Barkley, dressed in his finest day suit. 

 

“Nick, what on earth are you doing here so early?  I wasn’t expecting you until dinner.”

 

It had been Nick’s habit to arrive on the late afternoon train from Stockton and then return on the early morning train the next day.  Ever the gentleman, he always spent the night at Jarrod’s townhouse.

 

“I had a thought.  I saw these flowers and knew they needed to be in your presence.  Of course, they pale in comparison, but then, everything does.” 

 

“Oh Nick.  They are lovely.  Your thoughts are awfully poetic today.  To what do I owe the honor of you missing a day of work on your beloved ranch?”  She kissed him on the cheek. 

 

“Simply you.  I woke up this morning and missed you so much, I decided to play hooky.”  He paused a moment and swept her in to his arms.  “Now is that any way to reward me for my good behavior.  A peck on the cheek?”

 

“No my hero, you deserve this.”  She reached her hand up and cupped the side of his face as if to pull his head down for a kiss, and promptly, yet gently, slapped him.

 

“Hey, what was that for?  I thought you would enjoy a visit and a few more hours of my company.”  Not willing to be bested, he grabbed her at the waist and placed what he felt was a proper kiss on her lips.  She responded in kind.  “Now that’s more like it.  Why did you hit me anyway?”

 

“I didn’t hit you for heaven’s sake.  That was a tap.  You yourself said you are playing hooky.  How many times this month have you left to come visit and dumped all the work on Heath?  You owe him you know.”

 

“I know.  But he understands.  You could solve the problem very easily.  Come home!”

 

“I know Nick, but papa insists we stay a while longer.  He continues to talk about the Orient.  I know he wants to go, but I think he expects I will go with him.  Nick, I don’t know how to tell him I don’t want to go.  I can’t hurt him like that.  I figure the longer I keep him in San Francisco, the better.”

 

“I could talk to him if you like.  He’d have to understand if it came from me.”

 

This spiked her dander.  “Why on earth do you think my father would listen to you more then me?”

 

Nick started to outline his arguments.   He was after all a man, and men understood each other better.  He started to open his mouth, but saw the expression on her face and closed it again.  He read the tension in her body and knew she was just waiting to spring.   He would not give her the satisfaction.  Instead, he changed the topic.  “So, what does a hungry cowboy have to do to get some food around here?”  It didn’t work.

 

“Don’t you dare change the topic Nick Barkley.  What made you think my father would listen to you and not me?  Answer me!”

 

“No way.  Just forget I said anything.  I can’t win this.  I concede.  You win.  I was wrong.  You like that?  I was wrong!” 

 

She smiled and this time, it was she who initiated the kiss.  “Let’s go get some lunch.”

 

"We could order something and stay in."

 

"Not on your life hero!" and she pulled him in to the hall.

 

They had spent a wonderfully romantic day together, strolling about the city.  She enjoyed this side of Nick.  He was happy and relaxed.  When she returned to her suite the next evening, she found her room possessed by every imaginable flower.  There were vases everywhere.  She felt as if she was in a dream.  After searching a few minutes, she finally located a card.  She smiled.  Her hero.

 

Dizzy,

Unless you truly wished it, your father would have to go through me to whisk you away to the Orient. 

            Love, Nick

Liam received a mixed blessing in the following days. Isabel came down with a cold. Liam played the ever-doting father and kept her confined as long as possible. He took no pleasure in having his daughter ill, but it only helped him delay what he saw as the inevitable conflict. She was all but seething with desire to get out of her suite after ten days. During that time, Nick made no attempt to visit, as he had been stricken with a cold as well. The two knew they were the butt of many jokes in the family and would be for some time to come.

February slipped away and the warm spring winds had descended on the state. Liam could tell he would have to move soon. Isabel spoke daily of a return to the ranch. Due to the hectic season on the ranch, Nick’s visits had become less frequent. Liam used this to his advantage. Isabel never lacked for ways to be involved and stayed busy with various charities and even helped out at a school when several teachers became ill with the flu. Liam was always amazed at how his daughter could make friends and become involved wherever she was living. He had felt blessed when his found his wife. These blessings were magnified daily in his daughter.

One warm sunny day, Isabel and a friend were dining out for lunch and they ran in to Jarrod, who was arriving for his own lunch date.

“Jarrod, your timing is horrible. You could have joined us, but we were just getting ready to leave.” Isabel thought a moment and added, “We could stay for dessert.”

“Thank you darling, but I am actually meeting two people here for lunch, and here comes one now.” Jarrod indicated to the doorway, where Bonnie Carson had just entered. Izzy and Jarrod exchanged smiles. “Besides, aren’t we going out for dinner and the opera premiere tonight?”

“Of course, I can’t wait. I am relieved to know you are in good company. Who is your other guest?

“Heath is traveling in for the day. He is meeting us here.”

“Excellent. There he is now.” She pointed to the doors and waved as Heath saw them and approached.

“Good afternoon everyone.” Heath began, “Brother Jarrod I had no idea we were joining such lovely company.” All smiled.

“Well Brother Heath, we are sitting there, as these two lovely ladies are nearly finished it seems.”

‘What brings you to the big city Heath?” Inquired Isabel.

“Hera” replied Heath without hesitation with a seriousness in his eyes.

“What? Is something wrong? Nick hasn’t gone and done something stupid has he?” She was near panic.

Heath chuckled and there was a gleam in his eyes. “No, she’s fine. But she sure misses you. If you’re going to stay much longer, we should really move her here with you.”

“The city is no place for that fair lady. Besides, she belongs with Zeus. I’ll be home soon enough.” The thought of home lightened her mood and relieved her stress. They chatted for a short time to catch up and then bid their goodbyes. Jarrod indicated their waiting table and they adjourned.

During their lunch, Bonnie had extended an invitation to Jarrod to attend the same performance with her tonight. He told her he already had plans. Then thought again, and turned to Heath. “Heath, you could take Isabel couldn’t you? You don’t have to go back tonight. It would serve Nick right. You deserve a little time away.”

Heath had every intention of saying no, and could not believe his ears when his voice said “Sure. But you will have to loan me some of your fancy duds.” He didn’t even like opera. After a moment of internal paralysis, he realized she would not be expecting him. A slightly wicked smile came across his face and he decided it was best left a surprise.

Liam had already gone out for the evening, when Heath arrived at the hotel lobby. He had no idea Heath would be escorting Isabel tonight. Isabel had arranged to meet Jarrod in the lobby at 7, and Heath had arrived early. Isabel entered the lobby and he saw her eyes searching. He approached her and bowed, as Nick had done before.

“My lady, the lawyer Barkley received an offer he could not refuse and begs you to accept me as his replacement this evening.”

Her smile grew. “Really, How very ungentlemanly of him.” She watched his face fall a bit. “Thank goodness you were here to rescue me. I would be delighted.” She paused another moment, drinking in his smile and those eyes. “I thought you hated opera?”

“I do. But I have missed you. Although, the way Nick goes on about you, it doesn't seem like you are gone.”

She noted the genuine sincerity in his voice.

“If you don’t mind, I let Jarrod use the reservations he had made. I had somewhere else in mind to take you, if you trust me.”

“Have no fear my Lord, I have every faith in you.” She responded as they departed.

They began walking toward the riverfront. Despite being engrossed in the conversation, she did notice that the area was becoming a bit seedier. With anyone else, she might have worried. They finally stopped and she turned to see a small cantina named “Angelina’s”. From the outside it did not look like much. She was a bit disappointed to think Heath would bring her here, however these thoughts quickly disappeared as they entered.

Inside was a warm and cozy inn. Small, intimate tables lined with crisp white clothes were spaced about the room. Amazing aromas filled their noses and immediately intoxicated them. The tall white candles, stuck into bottles that cast an inviting glow over the room, enhanced the atmosphere. There was enough light to see, but yet the room remained mysterious and private. They were shown a table by a round Greek looking man. It was perfect.

They ate and talked and drank for what seemed like hours. It was Heath who looked at his watch and notice they were extremely late for the show. “As much as I hate to interrupt this, we will most likely miss the entire first act, if we don’t get a move on.”

“To hell with the first act.” She obnoxiously replied. She was not sure if that was her or the ouzo talking. Heath smiled. His brother was a lucky man.

“Now Bella, (pronounced with the Spanish “J” sound on the ll) what would Jarrod think?” He watched her face. He had never called her that aloud. For a moment his mind recoiled in horror, that was what he had called her in his dream. The dream he had worked so hard to forget. The dream had returned on many occasions. His mind and heart were battling.

Her mind too was reeling. She felt so close to him this evening. Since their first introduction, conversation had always flowed easily. There were many things they could talk about. One of their favorites was ways to rile Nick. He was often the brunt of their teasing. She had pretended to ignore the new nickname. She felt honored, and yet somehow it worried her. She was new to love and serious relationships, was this allowed? She dragged her thoughts back to Heath’s comments and questioned him.

“How would Jarrod know if we saw the show?”

“Um. Bonnie had invited him to see it as well.” The words tumbled from his lips.

“So he ditched me for another woman? I see. Well, then we must be sure to put in an appearance.” She saw this as a chance to avoid her thoughts.

He called for the bill and paid and then assisted her with her wraps. They were in an uncomfortable silence. She always felt that Heath could see right through her. She was silently praying this was not the case. She needed her feelings to herself right now. It was the nickname, Bella. It felt so right. No one had ever called her that before. She found herself hoping he would do it again. She found herself thrilled at this secret name between them.

The silence was mutual. His thoughts echoed hers almost identically. She was beautiful. It was natural for “Bella” to spill from his lips. He was so engrossed in his thoughts and she in hers, that neither noticed the two men following them until it was too late.

 

Hearts Evolving (2)

 

The shabby man swooped down in front of the couple.  He was abnormally large, at least a head taller then Heath and perhaps twice as wide.  When he opened his mouth to speak, he exposed few teeth and an even fouler odor then his body.  Isabel shrunk closer to Heath’s side.  In an instant, Heath’s arm moved around her waist, prepared to redirect her  if necessary.

 

“Well, now, what do we have ‘ere?  A lovely couple out in this part of town ought to know better.”  The man noticed Heath just hint at motion and stopped him short.

 

“Now hold on laddie, no sudden moves.  All I wants is yer wallet and maybe the lady’s jewels.”

 

Heath’s mind had assessed the situation and was ready.  He saw no way around the shove he would need to give Isabel to get her from harm’s reach, but it would be better then the alternative.  He was a fraction of a second away from action, when the, as yet unseen partner of this horrid man reached up and grabbed Isabel’s shoulders and yanked her from Heath’s arm.

 

Before Heath could react, a thick knife was pressed to Isabel’s neck.  She uttered a brief yelp at first, but now remained silent.  In her eyes he saw fear, yet surprisingly, confidence.  

 

“Jeez lad, make this easy on yerself and the lady, hand over the wallet and we’ll be on our way.”

 

The second man stepped back to allow Heath more space and as he did so, emphasized the importance of his action, by dragging the knife across Isabel’s neck.  Heath could have died when he saw the thin trail of blood begin down her neck.  She still made no sound.

 

Just as Heath began to move toward his wallet, he caught Isabel’s eyes.  He saw the flicker for just a moment and understood.  Before the man handling her knew what was happening, she had brought her elbow up as high as she could and drove it back down with unforeseen ferocity into his stomach.  It was enough.  She pushed his arm away and moved.  Heath had seen the opportunity and swung hard at the larger man in front of him.  The quick, unexpected moves of the couple had startled the two men momentarily.  Heath reached to Isabel and propelled her forward as the knife from the second man slashed out at him.  They ran off, leaving the two muggers in their tracks.

 

Heath would have liked to go back and finish the two off.  But he knew his responsibility was to get Isabel to safety. 

 

They had made their way back to her suite before Isabel noticed the blood from a deep gash on Heath’s arm.   She abruptly left the sitting room.  Heath decided she was disgusted with him and wanted to be alone.  When she returned a few minutes later, she showed no outward signs of disapproval.  Indeed, she fussed over his arm. 

 

“I asked the desk to send for a doctor.  This needs stitches and I don’t think you want me to do it.”  She smiled into his face. “Thank you for saving me tonight.”

 

“It was stupid.  I had no business bringing you there.  I’m sorry.”

 

She saw the pain in his eyes.  “No Heath, it was wonderful and I would like to go back again.  This wasn’t your fault.  It can happen anywhere in this city anymore.”  She paused.  “I’m just glad you were there.”

 

His voice was very quiet.  “It was you who saved us.  If you hadn’t hit him, I don’t know that we would be having this conversation.”

 

She smiled, “Well, then we can both thank Nick.  As children, Jarrod use to always trap me. “  She stopped to watch Heath’s face light up at the suggestion of Jarrod’s wild side.  He laughed aloud as she continued.  “Nick taught me that trick so I could get away.  I have never used it on anyone but Jarrod.”  They both laughed now.

 

 Suddenly the laughter stopped for Heath.  In that instant, all he could see was the dried blood on her neck.  He knew she would always have a scar.  What in the hell had he been thinking, taking her there?  She was class and distinction.  She did not belong in that part of town.  Now she would always bear the mark of his stupidity.  How had he thought he had a chance with her?  Nick would have never brought her there.  He wondered if he would ever truly be a part of his new life.  She would have been safe with Nick.  That was it.  Hell, Nick had saved her life even tonight by teaching her that move.  She was supposed to be with Nick, not him.    The realization brought him his first comfort.  The fates did not intend for him to love this woman, and this was their way of showing him. 

 

The alarmed entrance of Liam Winthrop interrupted his thoughts.  He immediately saw the blood on his daughter’s neck and began to yell for the doctor to hurry.  He had just returned from his own evening when he overheard the desk clerk sending the doctor to his daughter’s room.  He had rushed ahead and practically flown to her room.

 

“My God Izzy, what happened?  Are you all right?  Where the hell is Jarrod?”  He had not noticed Heath yet.

 

Adding to the chaos was the arrival of Jarrod.  He first saw Heath’s injured arm and asked whoever was listening, “What happened?  Is everyone all right?”  He had noticed the absence of Heath and Isabel at the performance and could not shake a bad feeling and come to check on them.

 

Isabel spoke up.  “Calm down everyone, for heaven’s sake.  There is no need for this commotion.  Heath and I were walking to the theater and two men tried to mug us.”  She looked straight at her father and emphasized her words, “I am FINE!” then returned her focus to the assembled group, which included the doctor, who had slipped in and already begun to treat Heath’s arm.  “As you can see, Heath’s arm was cut and now the doctor is here.”

 

As the doctor worked, Isabel retold a simplified version of the events.  She instinctively left some details out and for that Heath was grateful.  He was beating himself up enough and had no desire to go any rounds with Liam or Jarrod.  After cleaning the wound, the doctor decided not to stitch the wound.  He felt it was better to leave it open, in case of infection.  He bound it securely, placed Heath’s arm in a sling and sent the brother’s home with care instructions. 

 

On his way out the door, Heath stopped and Liam and Jarrod went past.  He turned back to Isabel and quietly said, “I am really sorry to ruin your evening.”

 

She smiled at him warmly and hugged him, “You didn’t.  Really, It was lovely.  I meant it when I said I would like to go again.”

 

Liam asked the doctor to double check the cut on her neck.  To appease him, she gave in.  Meanwhile, Liam continued to walk Jarrod and Nick to the lobby.  Jarrod left to secure a carriage.  Heath was tired.  It had been a long day and was turning in to an even longer night.  He prayed Jarrod would be quick.  He feared Liam’s words. 

 

“She is very young you know.”  Liam’s voice was quiet and filled with love.

 

“I’m sorry sir.  You know I never meant for her to get hurt.”

 

“Did you understand?  Did you see what was going on?”

 

“I do now.  Don’t worry.  It will never happen again.”

 

“Can you live with that?”  In that one question, Heath knew what he and Liam were truly talking about.

 

“Yes, I can.  Remember what I told you?  Things happen for a reason.  We don’t necessarily know why, but we have to accept that our journey shapes us. ”

 

“You’re a good man Heath.  Someday, you’re going to make some woman a fine husband.”

 

Just not your daughter, was all Heath could think.  Jarrod soon returned and they departed.  His mind was at peace, except for how to tell Nick what happened.  He suspected his jaw was in for a blow tomorrow.

 

 

 * * * * *

 

Heath thought fireworks would occur in Stockton when Nick found out what had happened.  He was wrong.  The real show occurred in the sitting room on the top floor of the California Inn.  Tempers were so incensed; some might have thought an earthquake was destroying the city.

 

Liam had left his room early the next morning and gone down to the docks.  His first visit was to a business associate of his, a man named Willis.  He gave the man the description of the two men from last night and told him how it was to be handled.  He next visited the offices of the captain of his fastest ship.  No one but the captain knew that Liam owned the ship.  Very few people, his daughter included, had knowledge of just how extensive his wealth was.  He liked it that way.  He laid out their plans and ordered the man to prepare.  The captain assured him they would be ready for the departure.  His requirements met, he returned to the hotel.

 

Liam took his daughter outside on their private patio and sat her down in one of the chairs.  There was a chill in the March air, but it felt good to them both to be outside.

 

“I think it is time for us to move on darling.  The Orient, don’t you think?”

 

“No papa, please.  We only just got back.  We can’t leave so soon.  We can go back to Stockton.  It’s our home.” 

 

“It is not our home.  We don’t want to overstay our welcome.”  He tried, but it was tough to ignore the pleading in her voice.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous, they are as much my family as you.  I may not have a claim to the ranch itself, but you forget; Nick and I have started Barkley-Winthrop.  I can not leave.”

 

He knew what he was about to do would change his daughter forever, but he could not devise another way around it.  “Just what else have you started with Nick?”

 

He hadn’t expected the slap from his daughter to sting as much as it did. 

 

“What do you mean by that?”

 

It was out there.  There was no going back now.  “What are your plans for Nick?”

 

“I don’t know.  What difference does it make?” 

 

“What about Heath?”

 

The question shocked her.  Her head was spinning.  “What exactly are you implying father?”

 

Liam grew quiet and introspective.  His voice was just above a whisper.  “God, you are so much like your mother.  So pure of heart.  I can believe you don’t see it, but I know if you are honest with yourself, you must feel it.”

 

“Feel what papa?  Love?  Of course I love them both.  They mean so much to me.”

 

“Sweetheart, you are too old to love them both.  You are playing a dangerous game and someone is going to get hurt.  Do you think that you can assure your place in the family by marrying one of the brothers?””

 

She was stunned and so confused.  Her heart ached.  She couldn’t speak.  The tears streamed down her face.

 

“No, I…” she found her voice, “So, your solution is to run away.  Just like you always have?”  She was a kind woman, but there was no doubting her ability to deliver a fatal blow, she had learned it form her father.  He had underestimated his daughter.  He did not know she could sink to this depth. 

 

“If we stay,” for emphasis he added, “you stay, you will destroy all they have built.” 

 

She found new confidence.  “You’re wrong.  You see it your way, I see it another.  I have not committed to either one and perhaps I never will.  If I have caused them pain, I can fix it.  There has to be a way.  You wouldn’t know, because you always run away.  You did not just underestimate me, but them as well.  We can get through any damage I may have caused.   I have not spoken of the kind of love you describe with either.  You’re wrong.  I would never hurt either one. “  There was a long silence.  “I will not be going with you, you must know this.”

 

“I can’t leave you here.  I have never forced you to do anything, but I will if I must.  We leave the day after tomorrow.”

 

His last comments brought about anger in her that she had never known.  She planned her words to deliver maximum effect.   In a strong and confident voice she began.  “You have never forced me to do anything?  You have never allowed me to do anything other then your will.   When have you ever allowed me to decide for myself?  I am not a child father.  I do not need to be protected and guided.  I will find my own way.  I must, even if I make mistakes.”  She paused for a breath and then added,  “I love you papa.  I really do and I will consider your words, but I will not go with you.”  She turned and left the patio.  He said his final words to her loud enough for her to hear as she departed.

 

“Are you prepared to lose them all in your attempt to run your own life?”

 

He was stunned.  He staggered to his room and fell to his knees against his bed and cried.  How had this happened?  His mind was thinking of the ways he could get his daughter on the ship.  His heart knew and eventually admitted; he had lost.  She was her own woman.  She would make her own decisions.  There was nothing more he could do.  Now he had to decide.  Would he stay and be here for the fall or should he go and let her accept what happens?  She would have to stand on her own someday.  Was this the time?

 

It came to him in the quiet of the late day.  He was going.  He was not running.  He was allowing his daughter to live, right or wrong.  He would not be able to keep out of the coming situation.  If he stayed, he certainly could be there to pick up the pieces; but she would have to learn heartache on her own.  She would still have the family, he hoped.  He had to have faith, faith in his daughter and in the Barkley’s.   Maybe, just maybe, she would walk this dangerous path and walk out the other side with all hearts intact.  She would certainly grow as a woman.  He decided.   He had a ship to catch.

 

Later that evening, five men, led by the man known only as Willis, circled a couple of shabbier men near the docks and backed them down an alley.  Willis, leading the four looming men, spoke.  “Liam Winthrop sends his regards.  He wants to repay the hospitality you showed his daughter last night.”  The man smiled and then added, “tenfold.”  This would be fun.

 

 

 

 

Hearts Evolving (3)

 

Heath and Nick were riding fence lines for the day and Audra had traveled to Denver on a visit.  Jarrod was at his office in Stockton and even Silas was visiting friends for a few days.   When she showed up on the porch of the grand white house, she had no idea Victoria would be alone.  She knocked on the door.  She had never knocked before.  She was afraid.  What if Victoria knew it all and rejected her too?  As the grand lady opened the door, Isabel all but collapsed into her arms and burst in to tears.  All Victoria could do was hold the hysterical girl.

 

As the afternoon went on, Victoria had managed to get Isabel up to her room.  In between tears and with much patience, Victoria managed to uncover that Liam had left for the Orient.  She plied the distraught girl with food and drink, but she would have none of it.  For long periods, Victoria simply held the girl in her arms.  She suspected there had been more to Liam’s departure then Isabel let on to, but she was not going to push her, yet.

 

Jarrod returned late in the afternoon and saw the bags in the foyer.  He recognized them as Isabel’s and went upstairs to find her.  He found the door to her room ajar and saw his mother comforting her.  He overheard snatches of her words through her gasping tears.

 

“I just…couldn’t…. go with him…  I’m horrible…aren’t I?”

 

Victoria reassured her and noticed Jarrod observing the scene and waved him away.

 

Jarrod was having a drink and reading the paper in the parlor as Nick and Heath returned.

They were so busy arguing about who got the tub first, that they had not noticed the luggage.

 

“Where’s mother?  I’m starved.”  Asked Nick.

 

Heath was in a good mood.  He chided his big brother.  “Boy Howdy Nick, how can you say that?  You ate your own plus half my lunch.”

 

“I did not.  Jarrod, don’t believe him.”  He thought a moment, and then added, “Well, even if I did.  I guess that just proves who works harder around here.”

 

Jarrod’s reply was expressionless.  “Mother’s up with Izzy, but I wouldn’t disturb them.  It seems Liam has left.  Isabel refused to go with him.  She’s pretty upset.”

 

“Izzy?  She’s here?  ’Bout time she stood up to him.  She’s old enough to decide for herself.  Why’s she so upset?”  Nick wandered over to the fruit bowl.

 

Heath replied first.  “Jeez Nick, have a heart.”

 

Jarrod then added, “Nick, even though you forget, Isabel is a woman and women are prone to emotional fits.  They don’t always keep their cool like us, right?”  He added a smile.

 

“Well then big brother, perhaps I should go up there and provide her a shoulder to cry on?  Maybe teach her how men handle disappointment” offered Nick to the assembled.

 

“Ya gonna teach her to fight Nick?” queried Heath.  Nick glared at him and gave him a mock laugh.  Jarrod continued.

 

“I don’t think so.  Mother waved me off.  I think she is trying to calm her down.”

 

“Damn, with Silas gone, I suppose that means there’s no dinner!”

 

“That’s my brother…. Thinking with his stomach, not his heart.”  Both Jarrod and Nick chuckled at Heath’s comment.  Deep down, it surprised them all.  It was unlike Nick not to run to her side, despite their protests.

 

Victoria eventually came down the back stairs.  She found her kitchen ransacked and food everywhere.  It reminded her of the time they had made her breakfast in bed as young boys.  She had known it was the though that counted.  She joined her sons in the parlor and explained what had happened.  Nick offered to go to Izzy, but Victoria convinced him to wait.  She had finally cried herself to sleep and she seemed to need the rest.  She then rounded her sons off to the kitchen to clean up the mess they had made.

 

Nick entered the room quietly.  In the soft glow of the lamp, she appeared to be resting well.  Looking at her sleeping, he wondered how Liam could have left her.  She inspired men to care for her with no effort at all.  He knew he always would.  He gently set the plate on the side table.  He hoped she might wake and be hungry.  Although he knew she wouldn’t eat it.  His history with her had often demonstrated her denial of food when something was bothering her.  Next to the plate, he set a note.  It read, “come find me if you need me”.  He leaned down and kissed her cheek and departed.  

 

She was awake.  She heard Nick enter the room.  She was simply not ready to face him.  She was still not certain her father wasn’t at least partially right.  After he left, she clutched the envelope in her hand tighter.  In it was a letter from her father.  She had refused to see him before he left.  She had heard his door close and moments later the knock at hers.  She had ignored it.  He then slid the letter under the door and she heard his footsteps trail off.  She had no idea how long she had simply sat staring at the envelope on the floor.  She finally brought herself to pick it up and read its contents.  She had read it so many times; she now knew each letter by heart.  Folded in the paper, was a ticket, an open-ended ticket to Hong Kong.  She then thought about his words.

 

“My darling Izzy,

You were right.  I have always controlled your actions.  I understand that you now need to live your own life.  I need you to understand that I am leaving, so that I am not tempted to interfere.  We both know I would.  If I could, I would never allow any pain to enter your heart.  Parents are not perfect, despite our best efforts.  I love you.  Nothing you do or say can ever change that.  You are the single greatest gift in my life.  No man could be prouder.    I hope you find the right love.  Search your heart until you do.  The answer is there.  And never forget that you can always come to me.

Papa”

 

She so wanted to be right.  She needed to prove to her father that she could resolve the situation he had described.  She was not convinced it was as bad as her father predicted.  She felt confident, she would learn to read the situation and decide the best course of action.  She knew in her heart, she might have to leave.  She would hold on to the ticket from her father.  She would try to be in the lives of all Barkley’s, but if she got between them, she would go.

 

The family did not pry in her first few days at the ranch.  They left her to her time and space.  She spent a great deal of time riding.  She had missed the freedom of a horse.  She had missed Hera.  She kept her feelings carefully guarded from the family.  As the days passed, she had relaxed and even begun to smile again.  Heath and Nick invited her with them, but both kept things very brotherly.  Heath had already decided he was not pursuing a relationship with Isabel, and Victoria had discreetly taken Nick aside and encouraged him to be a brother, not a suitor.  He had understood her message and complied.

 

Audra returned and the family was complete.  Life was reverting to normalcy.  Isabel continually watched her behaviors and attitudes toward the two men.  To most they seemed once again, the musketeers.  She and Nick continued to talk and plan for the stables they were creating.  They often sought out Heath’s advice.  Everything was perfect on the surface, but she guarded her innermost thoughts as if they were priceless jewels.  She did not allow herself to think on either one of the two men with any thoughts of romance and was careful not to be alone with either.  They had all been attending various socials, and Izzy had been allowing other suitors to call on her.  She would make her plan work. 

 

One morning she met Heath and Nick in the yard.  They were hitching the wagon to pick up supplies.  She quickly saddled Hera and asked if she could ride along.  She had some things to pick up in town.  They chatted casually on the ride in.  A relaxed relationship was again present between the three. 

 

Isabel was to pick up a stack of blankets for the orphanage.  Audra had received the donation and Isabel had offered to pick it up.  She had no clue it would be 20 blankets.  She asked Mrs. Hadley to hold them, as she would return with the wagon.  She climbed on Hera and rode over to the feed and grain store.  Nick and Heath were coming out one at a time filling the wagon.  Heath saw her first.

 

“I thought you had some blankets to get.”

 

“There were more then I expected, so I thought perhaps we could get them with the wagon when you’re done.  Of course, I was going to go check out the new fabrics at Marie’s before Audra gets them all, but...”

 

Nick cut her off.  “We got a whole wagon full Dizzy, maybe you had better make other arrangements.”

 

“Boy Howdy Nick, its just blankets.  We can throw them on top.”  She had perfected her imitation of Heath and she and Heath exchanged smiles as Nick began his typical lecture.

 

“Darn it girl, you have got to stop hanging around Heath.  No proper lady uses expressions such as “boy howdy”.  Hell, Heath shouldn’t even use it.”

 

It was as Nick was speaking that Clara Murphy was walking by with some friends.  She was an older widow, who made everyone else’s business her own and seemed to think she decided the morals of the town.  Although the Barkley’s were always cordial with her, she was not considered to be a friend. 

 

As she walked by, she said under her breath, but loud enough to be heard, “proper lady, hmph..  more like white trash pretending…”

 

More of her comments were not heard as she had passed them.  The three were quiet, each trying to find the right words.  It was Heath who spoke first, although he had only heard the later half of the woman’s words.

 

“Sorry about that Izzy, I been called it lots and it doesn’t mean anything to me anymore, but you shouldn’t have to hear ‘em talk like that.  Don’t know as how I ever did anything to her, but…”

 

Isabel cut him off.  She knew he had not understood.   “She wasn’t talking about you Heath.  She meant me.”  Her voice was quiet.  “Maybe you two could finish up here and I’ll go get the blankets.”  She turned to leave.

 

Nick finally spoke.  “Hey, ignore her.  You always have.”  He paused a moment and the suggested she go to Marie’s.  He and Heath would get the blankets and bring them home.  She could enjoy some time shopping and buy something girly.  She did not feel right backing down and leaving her job to them, but she also knew she could not face the inquisition in Heath’s eyes, so she left.

 

On the way home, Nick could feel the question burning through Heath.  He was surprised he had held out this long. 

 

“So, go on now boy, out with it.” 

 

“Why does Widow Murphy have anything against Isabel?”

 

Nick’s answer was terse.  “Because she is a closed-minded idiot.” 

 

“Gee Nick, thanks.  That explains it all.”  Heath slugged him on the arm in payment for the lack of information.  “I might not have been able to figure that out for myself.”

 

“She blames Izzy ‘cuz of her heritage.”  Nick finally added.  Heath was more curious then ever.  He understood questions of heritage all too well.  He pushed Nick to elaborate.

 

Nick chose his words and began the story.  “You remember us telling you about Lillian, Izzy’s mother, right?”

 

“Ya, the way I hear it, you were like a puppy, so in love with her.”

 

They both smiled at the image of the young Nick in love.  Nick got serious again, and continued.  “It didn’t help Izzy to have a father who had quite the reputation with the ladies.  He is a charmer that Liam.  He broke a lot of hearts when he had come back from his most recent travels toting the beautiful Lillian on his arm.” 

 

Heath took advantage of the moment and interrupted.  “So are you telling me that old lady Murphy is pinning for Liam and takes it out on Isabel?”

 

“No.  Let me finish the story.  Its on account of Lillian’s prior life.”

 

“Nick get on with the story and quit stallin’.  What was she a murderer, adulteress?”

 

“She had owned the largest brothel in New Orleans.  Folks figure she was a whore.”  He watched the expected shock cover Heath’s face and then his attempt to hide his shock.  “The ladies of Stockton simply could not handle the fact that Liam had ignored them and married her.”

 

“I was just a kid, so a lot of it did not make sense to me then.  I do remember the slurs they would hurl at her.  And then of course I would see them at church on Sunday. They never allowed Lillian to attend.  When Izzy finally came along, I remember the bitches whispering that she got what she deserved and that Liam had the devils spawn to prove it.  God it was horrible.”

 

Both men rode on silently for a few minutes.  Heath’s mind was racing.  He understood, he understood all too well.  His comprehension of Isabel jumped to new levels and depths.  Damn if this wasn’t just one more layer in that woman’s soul.  It had been some time since he had felt like a woman had bewitched him, and yet she had done nothing at all.

 

Nick too was lost in thought.  Until this moment, he had never been able to completely imagine what life must have been like for Heath as a child.  Now, as he relived Isabel’s experiences, he realized just how painful Heath’s path had been.  They were similar in many ways; however, he had been there for Izzy, not Heath.  His heart ached for his brother like never before.  It dawn on him that it was perhaps this latent, unacknowledged bond, which had helped the two grow so quickly in friendship.  Nick began to consider how much they really had in common. 

 

Later that day, he came across Isabel sitting under a huge oak tree by the river.  She hadn’t gone to the store as discussed, she had come straight here.  She always came here.  It was her sacred spot and now he was here.  She wasn’t ready for this.  She cursed him.  She did not want to deal with him at this moment.  He was the last person.

 

“What brings you here?  Audra get the good fabrics before you?”

 

“I wanted be here, alone, if you don’t mind.  It is my spot.”

 

“What?  You are mistaken.  This is most definitely my spot.  I come here all the time to think, and fish.”   He smiled with a coy grin.

 

It was true.  This was his favorite hideaway on the ranch.  It was a large spacious area, with lots of trees and soft grass leading up to the river.  The massive oak tree dominated the entire area.  He always thought of the tree as the guardian.  He identified with it.  The water was merely a tributary, so there was no river traffic.  Up the knoll about 100 yards were the remains of an old house.  There was not much left but the foundation.  He felt the people who lived there must have been crazy to have let it go. 

 

If he ever left the main house and wanted to build, this was the spot.  He had often imagined his home here, nothing grand, just a simple home for he and his family.   He would make sure that his window and the front porch opened up to present he and his wife with the awe inspiring view of the Sierra Nevada range each morning and night.  The beauty and tranquility of the area mesmerized him always.  He could think here.  It did not surprise him to find her here too.

 

“Then sir, you are trespassing.”  She responded with no smile.

 

“Trespassing you say?  I do believe this is Barkley land.  I can have you run in for trespassing, but I know a good lawyer.”  He tried lightening her mood.  This morning’s incident seemed to be sticking with her.  It was unlike her.

 

“Won’t you be embarrassed then?  This isn’t Barkley land.  My father owns it.  He bought it when he first came out.  Barkley’s were neighbors, so he figured it was a good spot.”  Without meaning or wanting to, she smiled as she remembered the arguments that Tom and her father used to have.   She found herself sharing her thoughts.  “Tom argued that he saw it first and had intended to buy this section, but my dad was first in line at the land office and he got it.  Papa used to tease Tom that he did it to lure Victoria away from him.  She loves this spot as well.  He once offered to trade Tom this land for Victoria.” 

 

“As much as I love this spot, I think he chose wisely.”  He decided.  They both laughed.  It felt good.  She stared at those amazing blue eyes for perhaps a moment too long and then went on.

 

“The family pretty much leaves it be, just picnics.  Most people think it is theirs.  The ranch surrounds it now.”  Her heart had lightened and she found herself again looking up into his vivid eyes.  The sun reflecting in them made them sparkle with joy. 

 

“He built the house when he first arrived.  He used to say he didn’t know why he felt possessed to put a house here, but he did.  He barely used it until he brought my mother back.”  She became quiet for a moment and then asked.  “I suppose Nick explained to you why the good woman of Stockton hate me and my curly hair?”

 

“Yeah.  Its no use trying to figure some people out is it.”  They sat in silence for a while.

They both knew they understood each other at that moment.

 

“Want to know why I like to come here?”  She interrupted the silence.

 

“You own it?”  He chided.

 

“No, the freedom.”  Unexpectedly she stood up and began to spin on her feet.  He could only sit there in wonder at the sight before him.  Eventually she came crashing down to the ground in a lump at his feet. She giggled uncontrollably.  In between bursts of laughter, she managed to croak out, “I can’t believe I did that in front of anyone, much less you.”

 

“Have you considered talking to Doc Merar?  He might be able to find you a doctor in San Francisco.”  He was completely charmed, yet hopelessly lost at her condition.

 

She calmed herself.  “No doctor necessary.  It’s freedom.  I love it when the world spins.  It reminds me a being loved.”

 

“Anyone ever tell you you’re nuts?”  She slapped at him.

 

“Remember how I got the name dizzy?  All the men would hold me in their arms and spin me above their heads.  I felt like I was flying, like a bird.  It felt so free.”  She could see that he only partially understood, so she continued.  “Yet all the time that I was free, I had someone who loved me holding on tight.”

 

A smile came across his face.  He understood.  “So, freedom, because you knew someone was there to catch you.” 

 

“Yes!  I guess it defeats the image I try to project, huh?  Independent, headstrong young woman…who secretly wants someone to hold her and be there, just in case.  Crazy, I guess.”  She grew quiet again.

 

 “Not at all.  I think everyone wants to have someone catch them, but it’s hard to admit.  I used to think I would be fine taking my path through life alone.  I never expected anything else.  Then I came here, and.”  He stopped.  She could see that he was choked up.  His voice was quiet.  “It was so hard for me to let them in, and now I can’t even imagine life without them.” And then he made the ultimate admission.  She could see what this was costing him and she was overwhelmed at his willingness to share with her.  “I, I am not whole with out them.  I don’t know where I would be.  It scares me sometimes.” 

 

She longed to reach out and take his hand, indeed, take him into her arms and hold him.  She wanted it more then anything in the world, but something held her back.  Her father’s words came rushing in at just that moment.  After what he had just said, how could she risk coming between them.  She felt the next best thing was to change the subject.

 

“Do you ever swing?”

 

This roused him from his thoughts.  “Huh?”

 

She smiled and went on, “Swing?  It is even better then spinning.  It is closer to flying.  Papa used to promise me that he would put a swing in this tree for me.  I begged him until he finally tried.  He couldn’t do it.  The lowest branch is simply too high.  There is no ladder tall enough.  I was devastated.  It was the first and only time my father has let me down.”

 

“First and only?  Spoken like a dedicated daughter.  Seems to me, he let you down not so long ago.”

 

“Leaving?  No, we both needed that.  I need to grow up and he needs to be himself.”

 

“I think your pretty growed up.”  He gazed at her face and explored her every detail.  “Show me this house of yours.”

 

He stood and then helped her up and they strolled up to the foundation of her true home.  As they did, she told him of her plans.  She felt this was the perfect location for Barkley-Winthrop and she outlined where she planned to build the necessary buildings.  Heath was impressed with her plans.  She had it all well worked out.  Barkley-Winthrop would be a fine union.  Heath couldn’t help think how suited her childish streak was to his brother.  She would keep him a happy man.

 

 

Hearts Evolving (4)

 

To quell the attraction she had felt for Heath that day by the river, Isabel did her best to avoid being alone with him.  Summer was full upon them and other then the avoidance, she was happy.  Nick was often her escort to socials.  It felt so natural.  It seemed to her he had slowed down his pursuit.  Although they were often seen socially, they were not exclusive.  It was even becoming a joke in the family.   Jarrod often teased one or the other about the direction of their relationship.  They assured him, he would be the first to know, if there was anything to know.  Victoria merely observed and waited.

 

A spell of bad summer storms had sprung up and Heath and Nick were occupied with fighting the flooding and repairing damage around the ranch.  Things were unsettled everywhere.  It surprised the women of the mansion when Doctor Merar rode up one afternoon. 

 

“Howard, what a surprise.  I do hope this is a social call.”  Exclaimed Victoria as she ushered him into the parlor, where the three women had been taking tea.

 

“I wish it were.  I came to ask Izzy a favor.”  He looked to her.  “A fever has broken out in one of the camps.  It is taking hold quite quickly.  They don’t have a doctor, so I am going up to try and contain it.”

 

“That’s horrible.  How can we help?”  Came Victoria’s request.

 

“I was hoping I could convince Izzy to go along and help nurse.”

 

It was Audra who spoke first, “Why, we can both go.”

 

Isabel turned to the doctor and asked why he had specifically requested her.

 

“They got an influx of new refugees.  According to the foreman, many barely speak English and in their delirium, your language skills might help.”

 

Without hesitation, she responded, “I’ll go change and pack a bag now.  Audra, there is no need for us both to go, besides, you were going to San Francisco in a few days.  Don’t cancel your plans.” 

 

Victoria agreed.  She worried enough about Izzy going, and both of her daughters going would cause her many sleepless nights.   She could see the hurt look in Audra’s eyes.  “Sweetheart,  Doctor Merar can wire us in a few days if he needs additional help.”  Howard nodded and seeing that the situation was resolved, Izzy excused herself to go and pack a light bag.  She returned quickly and set off with the doctor.

 

Nick was infuriated with his mother for allowing Isabel to go.  “How could you expose her to that?  God only knows what could happen.  At least one of us should have gone with her.  She shouldn’t be there alone.”

 

“Now Nicholas, watch your tone.”  She assumed the air of a woman to be reckoned with.  “She is a grown woman and made her decision.  I applaud her.  And as far as going with her, who has the time to be gone right now?”  She softened her tone and added, “She’ll be fine Nick.  Don’t worry.  Howard won’t let anything happen to her.”

 

Five days later Howard Merar’s buggy pulled up outside the house at dinnertime.  No one had expected them and all rushed out to meet the returning warriors.  His wagging finger abruptly silenced them.  Next to him in the wagon, slumped against the side, was a sleeping Isabel.   Nick was instantly alarmed and all could see it.  He pushed through and reached in to gently check her.  There seemed to be no fever.  She seemed to be merely sleeping.   Ignoring his family, he lifted her out, careful not to disturb her.  He turned with her in his arms and carried her to her room.  Jarrod rushed ahead and opened her door and pulled the bed linens down.  Nick placed her in the sheets and pulled them up to her shoulders.  A small cough brought his attention to the doorway and his mother summoned him.

 

It was Dr. Merar who spoke first.  “I’m sorry to have frightened you.  She is fine, just exhausted.  There are a lot of men alive thanks to her work.  She barely rested.  She’ll be fine.  We were going to wait until tomorrow to return, but she wanted to come home tonight and she fell asleep on the way.  I didn’t have the heart to wake her.”

 

“You’re sure she’s fine?” Came Nick’s concerned question.  He looked back over his shoulder to watch her sleeping. 

 

“I suspect she will sleep all night and most of tomorrow, but yeah, she’s fine Nick.”

 

All watched as Nick seemed to finally relax.  “Thanks Doc!”

 

Victoria asked him to stay to dinner, but he desired to be home with his own family after the time away.  Howard asked Victoria to extend his thanks to her again.  She had made a fine nurse.  After seeing Howard off, the family went in to dinner.

 

As Howard had predicted, Isabel had slept through most of the day.  When Nick returned from the day’s work, he cleaned up and went straight to her room.  As he opened the door, he saw her stirring and decided it was time for her to wake up. 

 

In a voice only Nick could create, he shouted, “Wake up lazy, the day’s almost over.  This is a working ranch ya know!”

 

Izzy sat bolt upright in bed and shook her head to clear her mind.  She was disoriented for a moment until she realized Nick’s voice wasn’t a dream and she was home.

 

“Gee thanks Nick…  I always love being frightened awake in the morning.”

 

“Morning?  Hell, its time for dinner.  You slept all night and most of the day.  You can thank me for waking you sleeping beauty.”

 

“Nick, if you were my prince charming, you would have woken me with a kiss, NOT a bellow.”  She rubbed her eyes and glared at him.

 

“Oh, like this?”  He crossed the room in seconds and sat on the bed and kissed her.  He hadn’t kissed her for months.  It felt so good to him.  He had missed her. 

 

She was still asleep enough to enjoy the kiss, but something nagged at her.  And that something appeared in the door seconds later.  Heath looked in and told them dinner was ready.  He smiled as he watched the two.

 

“You hungry?”

 

“Starved.  I bet I’ll eat more then you tonight.  Let me clean up and I’ll meet you downstairs.”  She kissed him quickly and motioned for him to leave so she could change.

It felt good to be home.

 

Heath subconsciously found himself riding by the Winthrop homestead more often.  Deep down, he knew he was hoping to stumble across Isabel.  The whole situation confused him.  If he was utterly honest with himself, he was attracted to her and yet, he felt she was right for Nick.  They both couldn’t have her and Nick had known her longer.  Hell, he had promised to marry her on the day of her birth.  Despite his best attempts to control it, his heart gave a little leap as he saw her sitting under the tree one fine late summer day. 

 

As he rode up and dismounted, he noticed that she was asleep.  The letter she had been reading was spread across her lap.  She looked perfect.  He indulged himself for a moment until she stirred.

 

“Nice nap?”  He smiled at her.  “It’s sure a nice day for it.”

 

“Um, I must have dozed off.  It’s a letter from my father.  He’s having a good time, despite my absence.  He is fascinated by the environment.”  She stretched a bit.  He indicated the other letters by her side.  She smiled, “thank you notes from some of the men at the camp.  One contained a marriage proposal.  I suppose I should tell him no, don’t you think.” 

 

Heath smiled at her.  So, Everyone wanted to marry this woman.  He studied her face as she continued to stretch.  She seemed very uncomfortable.  He began to add up what he was seeing.  Her face was flushed and her cheeks bright pink, while her eyes seemed a bit glassy. 

 

“You feeling ok?”

 

“I guess, maybe just a little tired.  Why?  Do I look horrible?”

 

Again, before Heath could control himself, “No, beautiful.”

 

They both grew silent.  Heath’s body was rebelling.  It wouldn’t do anything his head told it to.  His heart was in control and it told his hand to reach out and touch her face.  She did not pull away.  There was no stopping this moment.  Time seemed suspended.  She trembled a little.  It was her coughing fit, which broke the spell.  She had not time to react.

 

Heath recovered.  “You are sick.”  He reached up and felt her forehead and felt the warmth of fever.  The romantic moment forgotten, he took her arm and began to help her up.

 

She began to stand as well.  “I’m sure its nothing, just a slight cold.  Don’t worry.”

 

As she got to her feet, her legs went weak.  She couldn’t hold her weight and Heath scooped her into his arms.

 

“Thanks.   Just help me to Hera.  I can ride back.”

 

He knew better then that.  He walked over to Hera, took her reins and walked back to Charger.  All the while, Isabel snuggled into his arms.  As they reached Charger, he helped her on to his back and quickly climbed in behind her.  Once again, she settled in to his arms.  In her fevered state, her mind was swimming.  She was in Nick’s, no Heath’s arms.  It felt so perfect, so right.  She had never felt this fit with Nick.  It was as if her body had been molded to fit here.  She was overwhelmed and lost in her own thoughts.  Heath kept the horse’s gait fast, but comfortable.  It lulled her to sleep. 

 

Nick saw the approaching forms and recognized his brother with Isabel in his arms.  Immediately alarmed, Nick jumped on to Coco and rode out to them. 

 

“Nick, she’s sick.  Go get the doc.”  Before Heath had finished, Nick was off to town.

 

Heath rode up to the house and called for help.  Jarrod was working at home and came running with Victoria.  They all helped Heath get Izzy off the horse and into the house.  By the time Nick was back with the doctor, Victoria had managed to get her changed in to a nightdress and settled in to the bed with lots of warms quilts to calm the shivers, which had now begun.

 

The family, other then Victoria who remained with Izzy, gathered in the hall outside Isabel’s room.  Nick was pacing back and forth, demanding the doctor under his breath.  When Doctor Merar finally came out, he all but pounced on the man. 

 

“Unfortunately, it’s the same fever.  Funny that it kept dormant this long.”

 

“I don’t care about how long its been dormant, is she gonna be alright?” Demanded Nick.

 

“She has got a battle to fight, but I suspect she’ll be fine.”

 

Nick cut him off.  “Suspect, you suspect?”  Heath grabbed Nick’s arm and the simple gesture calmed his nerves.  “Sorry, continue please.”

 

“We need to deal with the fever, but if we can keep it under control, she’ll be fine.  Jarrod, how about some ice to cool the water.  The sooner we can bring her fever down, the better.”

 

Jarrod was off and the rest entered the room.  Izzy lay on the bed cocooned in blankets.  Her body was still, but her head slowly tossed back and forth.  She mumbled, but nothing anyone could understand.  Nick moved to the other side of her bed, opposite Victoria and whispered in her ear.  It seemed to calm her.  The family each settled into their roles for what promised to be a long night.

 

Isabel’s dreams were filled with the two men.   She kept reliving the moment in Heath’s arms.  She murmured unintelligibly.  In her mind, she was choosing Heath.  It was Heath she loved like a woman.  It was Heath with whom, she was dreaming of marriage and future children.  It was all Heath.  She loved Heath.  But then she thought of Nick.  If he loved her like she suspected, it would cause him such pain.  Oh no…

 

“Nick!” came the first clear word from her lips.  Nick had heard it and grabbed her hand even tighter and spoke quietly to her.  “I’m here.  Hold on and it will be better soon.  I promise.  Everything’s going to be ok.  I love you!”  He leaned forward and kissed her hot forehead gingerly.  He knew she needed him and she did love him. 

 

Unfortunately, so did Heath.  He had been wrong.  He had thought he saw the same feelings in her eyes, but it was Nick she was asking for.  Heath knew how strong the subconscious mind was.  Hers was calling for Nick.  He was foolish to let himself believe for that instant that they had something between them.  His heart hurt.  He turned and went to the parlor for a drink.  This was going to be hard.

 

Hearts Evolving (5)

 

The typically healthy Isabel turned the corner quickly.  All the family was relieved to see her improving.   Victoria became convinced of her improvement as she prattled on about getting out of bed.  She was every bit as difficult to keep down as any of her sons. 

 

For her part, Isabel was happy and animated as ever, on the outside.  Inside she was a mess.  She knew she needed to talk to Nick.  She had to find out what his feelings truly were.  And Heath?  He had barely come to see her, and never alone.  She longed to talk to him as well.  She knew he had to have felt it.  When he touched her face, it sent a surge through her that she could never describe.  God, her father had been right.  She was doomed.  Her mind tossed back and forth between the two men.  The whole situation smacked her in the face and she felt helpless. 

 

Thoughts of the two men kept invading her rest.  There was Nick, her best friend for life.  She loved him.  With him, she was comfortable and felt loved.  She knew him, his thoughts and his reactions.  She knew what he would say, before he did.  She felt she could predict his every mood, even action.  She could handle Nick.  More importantly, Nick knew her.  She had had no secrets, until now, nothing new to learn.  They both knew what they were getting in and from a relationship.  The feelings were all too familiar. 

 

Then there was Heath.  He was a mystery, something new and exciting.  She did not think the feelings of love she had for him were possible.  How could they be?  She found herself hoping against hope that her feelings for Heath were a crush, a fascination at best.  His eyes haunted her, frightened her.  She felt as if they looked straight through her to the depths of her soul.  Can someone really fall in love from a touch? 

 

How could she choose?  She tried to be logical, consider her options.  Choose Nick?  Heath?  Neither?  Let them choose?  If she was at all correct in her impressions, she felt her first three options would result in a heartache and guilt.  Letting them choose would destroy them as brothers, so it really wasn’t an option.  She cursed logic.  It had no business in matters of the heart.  For just a moment she allowed herself to wonder if they saw the situation the same way.  Did they see the problem?  Were they agonizing about it as she was?  Why did they not speak to her and make their feelings known?

 

Nick was.  During her recovery, Nick had been exceptionally attentive.  Daily he brought a fresh bouquet of flowers, many from various fields around the ranch.  He read to her when her eyes were tired and played poker with her until she felt ready to take on Heath.  She could not have known that by her calling his name, she had sealed their fates.  She did not even remember having called to him.  She remembered only her thoughts of Heath.  

 

Nick did not know she had called out his name in regret of the pain to come.  He knew only that she had called for him in her hour of need and that was all he needed.  He had already ordered a ring.  Now he need only wait for the right time to propose.  He had even gone so far as to write to Liam asking for her hand.  He knew he wouldn’t get a response in time, but thought the attempt would win him points.

 

On the fifth day of what she considered to be her imprisonment, she caught Heath walking by the door.  She called to him and summoned her strength.

 

“Did you need something?”  He had been avoiding her.  He was working on ways of getting over her.  She would not be the first woman he had lost.  He knew in time he would heal.  He was worried though, as those other woman had left his life.  They were memories.  She would be here, every day.  He wished he could talk to someone about his problem.  But who?  He could not bear Nick knowing that he had such feelings for Izzy.  He was not even sure he could trust Jarrod with this matter, so he kept it to himself.

 

“Um, no, I guess, I mean, that day at the tree.”  She fought for the right words. “Well, um” She saw nothing in his face.  No hint at understanding what she was getting at.  How could he?  Had it all been a dream?  A product of her fever?  She died inside.  Finally she said simply, “Thank you.  I haven’t said thank you for helping me.”

 

He was using every ounce of his strength to hold this most important of poker faces.  He suspected she wanted talk about the incident.  He hoped it would disappear.  If they discussed it, they would always have the memory of this awkward moment.  If he ignored it, perhaps she would be able to chalk it up to her imagination.  Would she get the message?  “I am always willing to help a damsel in distress.  I thought you knew that about me.  I’m just glad your better.”  He managed to flash her his winning smile.  “Was there anything else you needed?”

 

She wanted to die, and it was a slow agony.  “I… I got a new catalog.  I saw some spurs that I thought I might order for Nick’s birthday.”  She was recovering quickly enough.  “If I don’t order them soon, they won’t arrive in time.  Could you place the order for me?”  She indicated the page in the catalog.  He took the catalog and added, “my pleasure.  Spurs are gonna seem a might, um, small, compared to Zeus, don’t you think?”

 

She genuinely smiled now, “I will never be able to match him, so why try.”

 

“I’ll take care of it today.”

 

“Thank you” Her heart shattered with those two words.  Her anguish had been for nothing.  Perhaps it had all been a product of her illness.  She was glad when heath back out and closed the door.  She rolled onto her side, curled up into a tight ball and cried.  She cried until nothing more would flow from her eyes and the pillow was wet and then pounded her pillow.  How dare her mind have played such a trick on her!

 

As soon as Isabel was fully up and around, Nick began all out courting, Nick style.  It was obvious to everyone, including Isabel.  Although one usually associates spring with new love, for the valley, it was fall.  Isabel felt she had nothing more to lose.  She had been wrong about Heath.  She accepted Nick’s advances happily. 

 

One evening, in mid-September, Isabel and Nick were dining out in Stockton.  Nick had confided only in Heath, that tonight he would ask Isabel to marry him.  Heath had congratulated him.  He felt like the happiest and luckiest man on earth.  After a wonderful dinner, he ordered a bottle of the house’s finest champagne.  There were at a table tucked into a corner, affording them the utmost in privacy.  Nick had requested the table.  He wanted the evening to be perfect.  After the waiter had poured them each a glass of the sparkling nectar, he left them alone, as instructed.

 

“My hero, so special this evening.  To what do I owe the honor?”  Any other woman might have read the signs and known what was coming, but not Isabel.  The reality of what was about to happen, didn’t hit her, until Nick rose form the table, took her hand in his and bent down on one knee in front of her. 

 

“Isabella Hope Winthrop, You must know I love you.  I have held you in my heart and arms since the day you were born.  The only way I see my life complete is if you were to do me the great honor, of becoming my wife.”

 

 She was overwhelmed by the sheer brilliance that shown from his eyes.  The moisture beginning to well in the corners of his eyes did in her heart.  This was love, pure love.  It was magic and she was caught up in it. 

 

“Oh Nick.”  She watched every inch of his face.  She smiled and prepared the one word he wanted to hear.  “No.”

 

What?  She screamed inside her head.  What had she just said?  She watched Nick’s face die right in front of her.  “Oh my god, no Nick.”

 

“You already said that, no need to make it any plainer.  I got the point.”  He quickly rose from his knee and grabbed the flute to down his acidic drink in one gulp. 

 

“Nick, please listen.  It’s not like that.  I love you, I do.  But I can’t, I mean, I am not ready to marry you.”  She groaned.  “I’m so sorry, that came out all wrong.  I didn’t mean to say it like that.  You went to all this trouble. I didn’t mean to ruin it.  It was lovely.”

 

“So let me get this straight, you love me.  I love you.  But you’re not ready for marriage.  To me or anyone?”  He was angry.  She could feel it.

 

“Not now.  Please.  I don’t know how to make you understand.”

 

He grew quiet.  “So, where are we?  I love you.”

 

His quiet tones were matched by hers.  “I need time, please.”

 

“Alright”

 

“Please say you understand and that you’ll ask again.”  She practically begged him.

 

“I can say it, but it doesn’t mean I understand it.  What would change if we were married?”  He paused a moment.  “Oh yeah, I know.  You could go to sleep and wake up each morning in the arms of the man who worships you for the rest of your life.”  He paused again and said even softer.  “Yeah, I can see why you don’t want that.”

 

“Nick.  I’m sorry.  I don’t know how else to say it.  I do love the picture you paint.  I’m just not ready to be part of it yet.”

 

A smirking waiter brought them the check when Nick summoned him and encountered a very different Nick Barkley.  He had expected joy, but found confusion.  It was obvious to the waiter, that things had not gone as planned.  He felt sorry for the cowboy.  Even the wealthy Barkley’s had hearts that got broken.  It was good to know.

 

Nick paid the bill and escorted Izzy out the door.  She turned to him.

 

“Can we walk?”  She felt they both could use some fresh air.   He agreed and directed her down the street.

 

They had walked about 100 yards from the restaurant, when a voice down an alley called out for help.  Nick told Izzy to wait, but she followed him a few seconds behind. 

 

“What’s up?  What kind of help do you need mister?” asked Nick of the tall, thin stranger before him.

 

“Not much.  I was more interested in the little lady.”  He pulled out a gun and aimed it at Nick’s chest. 

 

In that instant, Isabel recognized him as one of the men who had tried to hold up she and Heath. 

 

The man began his story.  “If it isn’t the high and mighty, Isabella Winthrop.  Ya know how I knew your name?  It’s on account of your daddy.  Ya see he sent his goons out after us after that night on the docks.  In the process, my brother, you remember him right?  Well, he never recovered.  He died a slow painful death.”

 

Nick was attempting to buy enough time to get Isabel to safety.  He was cursing her for not following his instructions.  Damn woman!  Before Nick could take advantage of the move, the man turned the gun to aim at Isabel.  Nick cringed inside.

 

“I managed to survive, but not without thinking how nice it would be to pay you back.  ‘Course, I was hoping your other lover would be here…  the blond one, but this one will have to do until I find him.”

 

Nick saw his chance.  As the man moved the gun back toward him, he lunged forward.  The move worked exactly as he had planned.  The stunned man fired the weapon, but Nick was able to block the shot from hitting Izzy.  Nick’s lunge had driven him into the tall man and they both tumbled over.  The shot had alerted people and a commotion was beginning.  In the scuffle, the gun had fallen free and Isabel rushed in to pick it up. 

 

The tall man pushed Nick off him and stood up.  He made a move toward Izzy and she fired once, and then again.  “Bitch!”  He shouted as he staggered a step and fell forward at her feet.  The shock of killing a man did not last beyond the look toward Nick.  By this time, people, the sheriff included, were filling the alley.  “Nick, oh God, no Nick!”  To anyone who would listen, she cried out for a doctor. 

 

She fell to his side and turned him to her.  There was so much blood.  She pulled his large limp form into her arms and prayed for him.  This was wrong.  How could the evening have turned so wrong?  He was dying and she felt it.  She could feel his life slipping from her.  “Nick, hang on.  Help’s coming.  Don’t leave me!”

 

She looked down and in the partial light, saw his eyes staring up at her.  “Dizzy?”

 

“That’s it Nick, hold on.”

 

His voice was so quiet, she hardly heard him.  “You did well.”  He gasped for air and gave her a faint smile.  “Sure you’re not ready to marry me?”

 

She smiled.  Her words were meant to comfort him. “I guess you’re right.”  She flashed him a winning smile to comfort him.  “I am ready.”  She was trying anything to keep him with her.  “Ask me again.”

 

“No knee?”  She was buoyed by his humor, even in such a dire situation.  Sheriff Madden was now stuffing a cloth in the wound to try and stem the flow of life force.  Nick cried out in pain. 

 

“Shhh..  Its ok!”  She tried to sooth him as best she could.

 

She again met his eyes.  “Marry me?”  His voice was so very quiet and weak. 

 

“Yes, Nick, I will.  You name the time and place.  I’ll be there with a beautiful white dress.  I’ll make your eyes pop out of your head.”

 

 His last words, before slipping into unconsciousness, were, “You already do.”

 

 

Hearts Evolving (6)

 

Men had arrived to carry Nick to the doctor’s house.  Sheriff Madden gently pried Isabel from Nick’s side so the men could get to him.  He had heard their exchange.  He didn’t enjoy being privy to the scene.  If things did not go well, it would make things all the more tragic.  He prayed the Barkley stubbornness persisted.

 

A man had been sent to the ranch and Isabel sat silently, almost dazed in the parlor of the Merar home waiting for news.  It had seemed like forever here by herself.  She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear the family enter.  She was startled as she felt an arm go around her shoulders and she turned to see Victoria’s concerned eyes.

 

“Are you alright sweet heart?”  She looked like hell itself.  Her dress and arms were covered in what Victoria knew had to be Nick’s blood.  There was pain in her eyes and an aura of desperation about her.

 

“Nick, he,” She couldn’t even say the words.  She was terrified that Nick would die.  The doctor had been with him so long now without word.

 

Victoria held the girl and Heath moved to her side and took her hand.  “The doctor is with him.  He’s tough.  He’ll be fine.” 

 

She looked at his face and panicked.  “Oh God Heath, it was him.”

 

“Him who?”  Heath was as lost as the rest of the family.  They all needed to know what had happened, but she was too shaken to be pushed.

 

She choked up again, unable to answer his question with words.  She brought her hand to her throat and touched the faint scar.  Heath immediately understood. 

 

How could he have known?  Heath was lost.  The attempted mugging had occurred months ago in San Francisco.  How could the man have identified them, much less, why had he traveled here for revenge?

 

Victoria’s strength calmed Isabel and she sucked in her breath.  The sheriff was now present and very interested in hearing why he had a corpse in the icehouse tonight. 

 

“Papa.  He had them hunted down it seems.”  She paused and continued to relay.  “His brother, the large one, he died.”  Her fear for Nick overwhelmed her again and she slumped fully into Victoria’s embrace.  “He was going to kill us.  He wanted you too Heath.”

 

Jarrod turned to the Sheriff.  “Any reason to believe otherwise?”

 

“No, I’ll wire San Francisco to help with an identification.  I’ll check back in on Nick soon.  Let me know if I can help.”  He turned to Isabel, “Sorry ma’am.”

 

They took seats around the parlor and waited silently for the doctor.  Isabel continued to slump against Victoria’s shoulder.  Heath watched her closely.  He wondered if Nick had given her the ring yet.  She wasn’t wearing it, but that wouldn’t be unusual.  They would wait until the family was told.  He wondered for just a moment about the man killed in the alley tonight.  This one man kept crossing paths with this family at the wrong times. He wondered what might have happened if they had not been attacked that night.  Somehow he figured he and Izzy would be together now.   He also  wondered if his brother had proposed or not and whether he would live to marry the woman of his dreams, thanks to this same man.  Life was too complex sometimes.  For just a moment, he longed for the days when all he had worried about was the next day.  He had had no promise or hope for the future.    Life was simpler then.  He expected less from it.

 

Doctor Merar’s footsteps were finally heard coming from his surgery.    

 

“He’s resting.  When he is a bit more stable, we’ll move him to a bed.”  The family breathed a collective sigh of relief.  He was alive. 

 

“I won’t lie to you.  It was close.  The bullet did a lot of damage to his chest, but missed his heart.  If he hadn’t been here in town, I suspect he wouldn’t have made it.  If we can  get him to rest long enough, he’ll be fine.”

 

“Can we see him?”  Heath was the first to ask.

 

“He’s sleeping.  He’s also running a slight fever, but I think we can control it.  Let’s not have everyone hanging around all night, but sure, go in and watch him breath for yourselves.”

 

They followed him down the hall to the surgery.  Inside on the table, was a quiet and pale Nick.  Everyone was always unnerved to see Nick still.  He always seemed to be in motion.  The reassurance they needed was in the slow, but steady rise and fall of his chest.  Ignoring everyone else, Isabel went to his side and took his hand. 

 

“I’m here Hero.  I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Jarrod sat staring out his office window.  It was a dreary day.  A cold, late November rain had been falling for days.  It fit his mood.  He was the eldest.  He had always felt it was his job to protect his younger siblings.  He felt the heavy weight of responsibility for them.  He wished he were anyone else right now.  He needed the Wisdom of Solomon for this and it wasn’t in him.  Part of him wanted to stay out, the other part wondered if he could make a difference.  The past weeks had left him a victim of coincidental circumstance. 

 

Upon discovery of Nick’s survival, Victoria had sent Heath and Audra back to the ranch to fetch Isabel a change of clothes.  She had tried to convince Izzy to go herself, but that was useless.  They had returned and secured rooms at the hotel for the family.  They had anticipated shifts at Nick’s side for several days.  Victoria took the clothes and moved to Izzy’s side. 

 

“Sweet heart, let’s go over to the hotel and clean up.  With a hot bath and change of clothes, you will feel so much better.”  She saw the upcoming denial in the girl’s face.  “If Nick wakes and sees you in this state, it won’t do him any good will it?”  It wasn’t working.  Isabel had not yet seen his eyes.  She was not convinced he would live yet.

 

Helen Merar had been in the doorway and offered an alternative.  “Dear, why don’t we just run you a hot bath upstairs.  That way we can get you the minute he begins to wake.”

 

This had made more sense to her and she relented.  Audra and Victoria accompanied her as Mrs. Merar led the way.  Doctor Merar came to check on Nick shortly after they left.  Heath and Jarrod had assumed positions on either side of Nick and they both watched the man’s face for signs of Nick’s condition.  His faint smile reassured them both.  He turned to leave the room, when he felt his pocket and stopped.

 

“I tossed his clothing into the trash.  I set his wallet in the drawer, but I thought perhaps someone else might want to hold on to this beauty.  I guess he didn’t get to ask her before the incident.  Shame.  They make a great couple.”

 

Jarrod held his hand out and took the ring box.  He raised an eyebrow at Heath, who twisted his face. 

 

“Did you know about this little brother?”

 

“Yeah, he kinda mentioned his plans yesterday.”

 

A smile spread across Jarrod’s face.  “So, it seems Nick’s word is good as gold, even when given as a boy.  Honestly, I never did picture them married.”  What was that? Jarrod thought to himself.  He thought he saw a strange expression cross Heath’s face for just a fleeting moment.  The lawyer in him couldn’t let it pass.  “How about you?  Do you think Nick has finally found the right woman?”

 

Heath felt Jarrod was reading his mind.  He could agree with his brother, but then he might have to explain why.  This was not something he was prepared to admit sitting at the bedside of his injured brother.  He struggled for a response that would satisfy Jarrod.  “I think they love each other, some marriages begin on less then that.” 

 

Jarrod knew that Heath was being evasive, but why?  It hit him like a ton of bricks, could Heath be in love with Izzy himself?  He studied the man’s face.  Of course!  Damned hindsight!  He should have seen it coming.  Isabel would have bowled him over like no other.  They all knew what it was like to experience hurricane Isabel, but it was new to Heath.  In many ways they were very well suited to each other.  What an idiot he was to have not seen it sooner.  Heath would never speak up if it meant hurting Nick.  He longed to question Heath more, but he held back.  This would not be an easy ride and nothing could happen until he found out what had happened that evening.   He would need to talk to Isabel as well.  He feared what was to come.

 

Nick healed in typical fashion.  Just days after his injury, he was clamoring and insistent on rising from his bed and getting some work done.  They compromised and allowed him to be transported back to the ranch.  This made matters worse, as now he would claim to see the work that needed doing.  Isabel had Victoria’s ability to handle the cowboy, so between the two, they would always win the battles. 

 

Nick spent a great deal of time thinking about that evening.  Jarrod had delivered the ring back to Nick with a question plastered to his face, but Nick had simply thanked him and took it.  He and Isabel had not discussed it either.  He wanted to, but she kept telling him to wait until he was better.  No one at the Barkley ranch was discussing anything remotely close to relationships.

 

Nick had been allowed to venture downstairs for the first time and Isabel found him sitting, deep in thought next to the fire in the study.  She watched him marveling.  Not many people saw this quiet reflective side of the man.  She hesitated to disturb him, but it was time for his medication.  She silently approached him and touched his shoulder.

 

“Penny for your thoughts.”  She smiled warmly and ran her fingers through his thick black hair.

 

He looked up at her and smiled, turning his head to capture her hand between his hair and shoulder.    She kept it there.  He was irresistible.  “You.  My thoughts are always of you, and that you can have for free.  Save your pennies.  You’re going to need them for tonight’s poker game with Heath.”  They both laughed.

 

She handed him the glass she had held in her other hand and he drank it down.  He had given up arguing with her over it.  Then his smile faded.  She saw it and knew he wanted to talk.  She had tried to avoid the conversation.  She was getting so used to avoiding things.  She readied herself for this one and sat at his feet.

 

“Yes.”

 

“I’ve been thinking a lot about us.  About that night and what you said.”  He paused.  “You really didn’t mean it in the alley did you?”

 

She tried being shocked, or flippant, but her voice came out hesitant. “Don’t be silly Nick, Why would you say that?” 

 

“When I woke up, I expected congratulations from the family, but you didn’t tell them.”

 

She stumbled over her answer.  “I thought it was best to wait until we could tell them together.  We can announce our engagement tonight at dinner if you like.”

 

“Is that what you would like?”  He questioned.

 

“I want whatever is best for you Nick.  I love you.”

 

“But you love someone else more.  Is that it Isabel?  Is there someone else?”

 

Her mind screamed.  How could he know?  She didn’t even know for sure what her feelings were.  Then she caught the next phrase he added.

 

“In Europe perhaps?”

 

He knew there was someone else, but had no idea who it was.  She hadn’t spent enough time with any one person since her return.  She saw in his face, how painful this conversation was for him.

 

“Now Izzy, I know you love me.  I figure you’re confused.  Maybe I shouldn’t have surprised you with the proposal.  You said you weren’t ready and that is the only reason I can figure that makes sense.  You aren’t sure which of us is the right man.  I’d like to think he’s something special to have won your heart.”

 

She was silent.  She was stunned.  Her heart ached.  She knew in that instant, she didn’t deserve the love he was giving her.  Her father was right.  She had caused him only pain.

 

“I guess that just about confirms it for me.  You want to tell me about him?  Or maybe tell me where we stand?”

 

“Nick, I” She lost any words which might have seemed helpful.  The part of her that saw Nick as a big comforting brother, wanted desperately to tell him of her feelings for Heath, but this one time, she had no idea how he would react.  It would be easier for him to fight a stranger.

 

He finished the conversation.  “I won’t say anything if you don’t.  There is no need for the family to know.  I want you to love me and marry me with all your heart.  I deserve that.  WE deserve that.  If you can’t, then don’t pretend with me.  Respect me enough for that Dizzy.”

 

The tears streamed down her cheeks.  She couldn’t look him in the eyes.  He had no right to be this good to her.  To make matters worse, he painfully got to the ground and placed his arms around her and held her as she wept.  

 

After some time sitting there together, he raised her head with his hand and looked into her eyes.  He saw her devotion.  He knew she would do anything for him.  She would have married him.  She would have loved him and raised his children and comforted him in their old age.  She would have done it all for him.  He knew it, and for this reason, he loved her still.  In that instant, he knew they both deserved better. 

 

“I should leave.  Papa knew it.  Its what we argued about.”  The confession cost her dearly.

 

“No, you’re not going anywhere.  I couldn’t bare to lose you again.”

 

“But Nick, you must hate me.  How can you stand to even look at me?”

 

“You’re looking at me right?  Do you want to leave for me or for you?  It’ll be alright Dizzy.  I promise.” 

 

The child that had always listened and done what this man asked of her heard and believed him. 

 

Later that evening, the sons of Tom Barkley were all sitting together in the study.  They laughed, told stories and had a few drinks.  It was a relaxed and easy time.   The women were in the parlor, putting finishing touches on a quilt for a newlywed couple in the valley. 

 

Jarrod could hold his tongue no more.  “Nick, Is it dumb of me to ask why you were carrying an engagement ring that night?”

 

Heath found himself holding his breath.  No one noticed him.  After a long silence, Nick began.  “I was going to ask Izzy to marry me, but I didn’t.”  He felt guilty for lying to his brothers.

 

“Why not?”

 

“It’s a long story and really none of your business Jarrod, but essentially, I think there’s someone else.”

 

“What?”  Came both Jarrod and Heath simultaneously. 

 

“She wouldn’t say, but I think her heart is torn.”

 

Heath’s heart was racing.  He knew his brothers would be there to see it explode from his chest.  She loved someone else.  Could it be him?

 

“I figure it is some guy in Europe.  We started to get close and she realized her feelings for him as well.  If it is meant to be, it will, but not now.  She needs time to sort it all out.”  He paused a moment and then added.  “Don’t say anything Jarrod.  She is upset about the whole thing and feels pretty guilty.  She already threatened to leave, but I think I convinced her to stay.”

 

“I trust your judgment.  If you are fine, I am fine little brother.”

 

Heath’s heart fell.  He knew it wasn’t a man in Europe.  He knew it had to be him, but it was obvious that Nick needed it to be someone in Europe.  Nick would not be prepared for his own brother to be the man who had stolen his love.  This was fast becoming a never-ending hell, and yet, he had an idea, a small glimmer of hope.

 

Hearts Evolving (7)

 

Jarrod found himself unable to sleep that night.  The whole situation perplexed him.  Nick and Isabel were not to be.  Heath may or may not be in love with Izzy and vice versa.  His heart believed he knew the truth.  They loved each other and neither wanted to hurt Nick.  No matter what, Jarrod knew that unless it was handled very carefully, Nick could be hurt even more.  He knew Nick had talked calmly, but inside, he had to be hurting, if nothing other then his pride. 

 

His mind debated the pros and cons of getting involved.  If he did, he might smooth over a path for Heath and Izzy.  Then again, considering the Barkley men’s luck with women, he could also screw the whole thing up.  He even considered elaborate scams.  If he could somehow trick Nick into setting Heath and Izzy up himself, there would be no problems.  He quickly ended this line of thought.  His heart told him duplicity would only make matters worse.   Ultimately, he decided that he would employ his powers of observation to help make his decision.

 

Heath slept very well that night.  If all went according to plan, he would search the woman’s soul and win her heart.  Given enough time, and even distance if necessary, it would work.  He felt the first feelings of optimism.  He rose even earlier then usual and went about getting chores done so he could free up time to enact phase one of his plan that afternoon.

 

BWHE BWHE BWHE           

 

Heath barely slept the night before Nick’s birthday.  It was going to be a perfect day.  He could not anticipate anything but perfection.  He wouldn’t have cared if it poured rain.  His optimism knew no bounds.  It felt good.  His plan was working out even better then he expected, as Nick and Victoria were going to San Francisco for the day.  There was a special auction Victoria wanted to attend.  She had requested Nick’s presence.  She felt it would be very nice to spend time with him alone on his special day.  Initially he rebuffed her.  She then offered to buy him the biggest steak at his favorite restaurant and promised the family they would be home in time for dinner, so he consented to go.  It was a far cry from the previous birthday, much calmer. 

 

They enjoyed a traditional family birthday breakfast filled with laughter, smiles and presents and then the traveling duo departed with Jarrod who was going to town on business.  Audra had accepted an appointment with a friend and also quickly departed.  On his way out to do some work, Heath snared Izzy’s arm and asked her if she would consider going for a ride with him that afternoon.  She agreed and Heath’s spirit escalated.

 

Heath’s offer had surprised her, but she accepted.  If Nick was right and all could return to normal for her, she had to eventually be alone with him.  It was unavoidable.  Little did Heath know that the hope the breakup had inspired in him; had cemented her heart against him.  She believed it would be the ultimate betrayal and she would not hurt Nick like that, ever.  She owed him that much at least.

 

They met at the stables and Heath had already saddled Hera for her.  A short time in to their ride, Heath stopped and asked her to allow him an indulgence.  She found the request strange, but consented and he tied his kerchief around her eyes.  She continually asked him where they were going and what he had planned, but he gave nothing away.  He was glad she couldn’t see the smile that was plastered to his face.

 

They stopped and he helped her dismount.  She was very nervous and insisted he remove the blindfold.  He begged her patience and pulled her along.  The next thing she knew, he guided her onto a shaky seat.  He moved behind her and lifted the blindfold as he gave the swing a push.  As her eyes adjusted to the sunlight, they did a double take as she flew through the air.  She was swinging.  Tears came to her eyes as she looked around and saw that she was moving through the air next to the river from a swing tied to the lowest branch of the beloved old oak tree.  She had no idea how he had done it, but she was flying.

 

Heath stood back and watched her.  His heart soared higher with each pass she made.  She was smiling and laughing.  She threw her head back and stretched her legs out.  He wanted to capture this moment and hold it forever.  He knew if he played his cards right, these feelings would be his on a daily basis for the rest of his life.  He wanted it, like nothing he had ever wanted before.

 

She began to slow down and eventually came to a stop.  He moved to stand in front of her. 

 

“How?  Why? Heath it’s fabulous.  It’s my dream.  I don’t know what to say.”

 

“My mama always told me “thank you” never hurt.”  They both glowed with happiness.

 

“Thank you!”  She gushed.  “But why?”  She was afraid of his reason.  It felt very much like being courted and she didn’t want that.

 

“Happy Birthday” He had no idea those two little words were going to destroy the moment.  He had never understood why the family had gone along with her.  How could they just ignore her birth and still celebrate Nick’s?

 

Her face fell and she said quietly.  “You shouldn’t have.”  A birthday gift, she mused to herself.  She would have almost preferred courting.

 

“It took a little planning, but I believe if you want something bad enough, you’ll find a way to have it.”  He hoped she understood his double meaning.  Her reaction was beginning to frighten him.

 

“No, you really shouldn’t have.”  She abruptly stood up and ran to her horse.  She mounted and took off before Heath could stop her.

 

She was pounding on Hera to ride faster and pushed her harder then she had ever pushed an animal.  She knew it was wrong and cursed herself for taking her feelings out on the magnificent beast.   She fought to control her own emotions as the horse fought to obey her mistress’s demands.  She eased up just a bit. The wind in her face was not calming her as it usually did.  “Damn him”, she thought to herself.  How was she supposed to live near him, when he behaved like this?  She repeated to herself, “I will not further hurt Nick.  I will not.”

 

Heath had mounted up and pushed Charger equally hard.  Whereas Hera did not understand why she was being pushed to her limits, Charger seemed to read his master’s mind and gave all he had in the pursuit of the woman.  Man and horse became one.  It was the only way they could have made up the distance.  He drew nearer and yelled at her to stop.  She refused and spurred Hera even more.  Heath would have none of this and amazingly rode Charger up along side of Hera and pulled the angry woman off her mount.  He held her firmly.  He knew what he was doing was dangerous.  If he missed or dropped her, the powerful rear legs of either horse would trample her.

 

Hera, losing her rider, continued on.  She seemed to want to take advantage of the freedom.  Heath held Isabel tightly and pulled her over his saddle.  He knew it was uncomfortable for her, but did so anyway and turned back to the river. 

 

She yelled and cursed at him the entire way.  He smiled despite the situation.  She could put sailors to shame with that mouth.  Upon arrival back at the tree, he dropped her and dismounted.  She stood up and slapped him hard.  It hurt and he knew it would leave a mark. 

 

She seethed.  “How dare you!  How dare you treat me like this?”  She slapped him again.

 

Heath knew she was feisty, but this was more anger then he could have expected.

 

“How could you?”  He baited her. 

 

“Me?  What did I do?”  She stood looking at him incredulously.

 

“Boy howdy, for someone who knows horses, how could you treat your horse that way?”  He watched her mouth begin a protest, but he kept right on, allowing her no opportunity.

“AND, How can you be so rude to someone who gives you a gift, much left a gift he went to a lot of effort for?”

 

He had done it.   Her shoulders were quaking and tears formed in her eyes.  She fought to control her emotions and there was silence between them.  In a voice, barely above a whisper, she responded.  “I told you last year, I don’t celebrate birthdays.”

 

“Wrong.  You said you did not celebrate your birthday.  Well, how I see it, you aren’t celebrating your birthday, I am.”

 

She was speechless.  She tried several times to begin a response, but couldn’t, so he spoke.

 

“I don’t pretend to understand why you won’t even acknowledge your own birthday, or why the family goes along with it.  But you can’t stop me from celebrating the day of your birth.”

 

“Why do you care?”

 

“I do, isn’t that enough?”

 

“No.  Nick wouldn’t even have done this.  Why did you?”

 

He ignored her request.  “Tell me why you don’t acknowledge it, help me understand.”

 

Part of her wanted nothing to do with opening up to this cowboy, but she couldn’t fight the desire to have him understand her.  “She died for me.  Everything changed.  They were so happy together and then she died.  She wasn’t supposed to have children.  She had been warned.  My father was never the same.”

 

“But she did have you.  Your parents wanted you.  How can you deny them a celebration of your life?  She gave her life for you and it seems to me your disrespecting her.  And of course your father changed, every man does when he holds his child in his arms.”

 

“You’re not saying anything that hasn’t been said before Heath.  I am entitled to my opinion.  Logic doesn’t apply to matters of the heart.”  She lied.  No one had pointed out the obvious change in a man when he became a father.  She wouldn’t let on.  She felt suddenly confident.  He had nothing new in his armory.  She would win the battle and the war.

 

“So how did you manage to win this war?”  She was surprised that his words echoed her thoughts.  Was he actually reading her mind?

 

“I just did.  I can be kinda stubborn when I want to be.”  She smiled.  She wondered if she hadn’t just met her match.

 

“I hadn’t noticed.”  She found herself laughing with him.

 

“I would leave.”

 

“What?”

 

“Whenever they talked about it, or brought in a cake or a present, I would leave.”

 

“Boy howdy, you got gumption.”

 

“Papa and your father tried locking me in the room one year.  I screamed until they let me go.  Finally, after all the arguments and pleading, they gave up, even Nick.”

 

“Damn them” he muttered.  She was moved by his exclamation. 

 

“I was a brat.  Sometimes I can’t believe I got away with it.” She fell silent and he could tell she was lost in memories.  After a few minutes, he prompted her.

 

“Maybe its time to grow up?”  He watched her face for a reaction and then felt safe to continue.  “Let’s try it again.  Happy Birthday Bella.”

 

She waited a long moment.  Her thoughts were consumed.  He called her Bella again.  She could feel him staring at her.  “Thank you”

 

“You’re welcome.  Now, lets swing a bit more and then go have the cake I had Silas make for you.”

 

“Oh no Heath, you didn’t.”

 

He winked and flashed her a smile that could melt steel, “Just kidding, your birthday celebration is just between us.  He took her hand and kissed it, then guided her back to the swing and gently pushed her.  Phase one was a complete success.

 

As he pushed her on the swing, she was angry inside.  Just when she had been assured of victory in this battle, he called in reinforcements and won.  This was not a good step for her, or was it?  Could she win this battle or would she have to leave?

 

The incident was not just between them.  Jarrod had been feeling like a ride.  He left the buggy in town and picked up Jingo for the journey home.  He followed the trail that led him across the Winthrop homestead.  He hoped to enjoy the fall colors around that bend of the river.  He had witness the entire scene.  He smiled as he watched the future lovers and then winced, as he feared his hotheaded brother’s reaction.  His family had survived lost loves before, but never had they encountered a situation like this.  He hoped this too, was something they would survive and emerge stronger for.

 

That evening, after all enjoyed dinner, Isabel decreed she wanted to learn the game of billiards better.  She was tired of watching the boys play.  They all agreed to help and set about teaching her.  The laughter was plentiful, as all had a different style to be sure.  Victoria and Audra looked on with amusement.  When the night had grown long, they took chairs around the fire and sat quietly, simply enjoying each other’s presence.  Nick finally spoke.

 

“Dizzy, did you know that someone managed to hang a swing in that old oak tree near your place?  Mother and I saw it coming home tonight.  Don’t know how the blame fool did it, but we should watch to be sure no one is hanging around there.” 

 

“I know.  I swung on it today.”  She quietly replied. 

 

“You did it?”  Nick was astounded.  He remembered the afternoon Liam and his father had tried hanging a swing.  It had been comical.

 

“No, Heath did it.”

 

“Huh?”  Several faces in the family glanced his way.

 

Then, even more quietly, she added.  “For my birthday”

 

The entire family realized the impact of those three words for her.  The disbelief was apparent in their faces.  She read it as well and attempted to deflect some of the attention.

 

“Oh, Close your mouths everyone.  I had to grow up sometime, didn’t I?”

 

Victoria began, but was cut off by Isabel.  “Sweat heart, if we had known…”

 

“Don’t worry.  I’m not ready for gifts or a party or anything.  Small steps.”  She smiled and the room relaxed.  Heath marveled inside at his victory.

 

Hearts Evolving (8)

 

Time flew by and the holidays passed without event.  Isabel suspected Heath’s intentions, but neither put voice to them.  Heath knew that time was to his advantage.  There was no need to rush anything.  Given enough time, Nick would be over Isabel and Isabel would warm to him.  Even Jarrod had relaxed.  He had given the trio intense scrutiny though out the holidays, looking for a slip up, but there was none to be had.  If Heath was courting Isabel, he was beyond stealthy.   There were still no dances, no hand holding, no stray glances, nor kisses.  He was the perfect gentleman.  The brothers would later refer to this time, as the calm before the storm.

 

One cold blustery day, Heath and Nick were working to repair a wall on the barn that had been damaged by a bronc.  Nick was quiet.  Heath had noticed that his brother had become prone to long bouts of silence and a grouchy temper.  They happened often enough to be noticed and with growing frequency, today for example.  Heath sensed Nick might want to talk, he only hoped it was not about Isabel.  He spent the holidays hoping that Nick would go to Jarrod with any of those concerns.  He knew it would go badly if he had to try and advise Nick.  He was still banking on time to ease the pain.  He clung to the belief that he would eventually win Isabel’s hand with the blessings of his older brother.

 

Nick felt guilty.  During the day, he could escape his maniacal thoughts; he had distractions.   As he lay in bed each night, they assaulted him with tenacity.  He hated the idea that had formed in his head recently.  He missed the feelings of closeness with Izzy.  He missed the thrill of the courtship.  He missed holding her and the smile he felt she had shared with him only.  Hmph!  Obviously she didn’t share it only with him; there was someone else, a mystery man.  He couldn’t fight this man.  Losing in an open battle would have been far easier then this unknown torment.  When he managed to elude Jarrod’s probing eyes, he had watched Isabel’s every move.  He had to know who it was. There was no one consistently around her but Jarrod and Heath.  Heath.  Could it be?  Did Isabel divide her love between the two of them?   It was driving him slowly insane.  He thought he could get over her in time, but instead, his agony seemed to increase.

 

He had no idea why it was on this morning in particular that he had woken so determined to know the truth.  Today he would have his answers.  He glanced at Heath, his brother, the man he had come to depend on for his life.  It was now, or never.  He knew he wouldn’t be able to live with never and so he began his interrogation.  He wasn’t proud of the manner in which he was about to conduct himself, but saw no other option.

 

“I’ve been holding on to some thoughts for a spell.  I decided maybe I need another opinion.”  Nick was manipulating the discussion, running it like the ranch, in his own way.

 

“I’m all ears Nick.” Although he sounded confident, inside Heath was repeating, “not Bella, not Bella”.   Not today.  It’s not the time.

 

Heath was so caught up in his unexpected panic, that he hadn’t heard Nick’s question.  “What Nick?”

 

“I said; where did you get the idea to hang that swing?”

 

“At the oak?  Isabel told me one day how she loved to soar through the air and had always wanted a swing.”  Heath was terrified of where this was going. 

 

“Sure was an awful nice thing of you to do.”  Nick hated pushing forward, but he had to know the truth.

 

Heath scrambled for a sensible reason, one that might delay the conversation or at least make sense to his brother on some level.  “I just never could figure why the family didn’t insist on celebrating her birthday.  It seemed like a good way to break the stalemate.  I figured I could be the right person to do it.  I wasn’t here then.”

 

“You think we didn’t want to celebrate her birthday?  Hell, we tried.”  Nick found his cause being distracted by this course of discussion.  It wasn’t going as he hoped.  He needed to change it quickly, before he lost his nerve.  This is what he had become, a man afraid of the truth about a woman’s love.  The indestructible Nick Barkley brought to his knees and about to be laid bare. 

 

“I didn’t say that Nick.  Boy howdy, I don’t know.  I just did. Why does it bother you?”

 

His mind screamed at the mistake he had just made.  Why did it bother him?  Obviously.  This was a face of Nick he had never seen before.  The pain in his heart was evident by the absence of life in his eyes.  The sparkle of his enthusiasm was gone, replaced by immeasurable sadness.  In many ways, he was a shell and Heath knew he was to blame.  Despite his confidence to the contrary, he knew in that moment that he could not love this woman without pain to his brother.  He felt himself falling.  He understood the despair Nick must be feeling, as he felt it himself.  They were both being forced to choose between love and brotherhood.    

 

Heath’s last comment and subsequent silence had been the opening Nick had been waiting for, and yet he held his tongue.  Heath too, sensed it was all going to come down to this moment.  There was no going back.  They were two vulnerable and exposed men.  He feared only one would come out of this intact. 

 

“Get on with it big brother.”

 

“It’s just weird.  That’s a pretty intimate memory she shared with you.”

 

Heath willed the floodgates open. Get it over with.  “Say what you really want to Nick.”

 

“I lied.”  He had expected an accusation, not this simple confession.

 

“’bout what?”  The agony was only just beginning for the brothers.

 

“I did propose to Isabel.  At first she said no, then said she needed time, and then she said yes when I asked her again in the alley.  That wasn’t fair.  She thought I was bleeding to death.”

 

Heath had no idea it had gone that far that night.  It startled him.  In that moment, he knew Nick was trying to impart the depths of his grief.  Heath allowed him his dignity and the moment.  “Uh huh.  I can see why that would be a problem.  What happened?”  He prayed his voice did not reveal the tension he felt. 

 

“I told you.  I broke it off.  But, you see, that’s the problem. Nothing has changed.”  They were silent a moment.  “If she loves this guy enough to leave me, why doesn’t she see him?  Maybe, she just didn’t really love me?  I don’t get it.”  Nick searched every inch of Heath’s face for a reaction.  Heath was sporting his high stakes poker face and Nick knew it.  If they had been playing poker, it would have been written into the record books as each man fought for his soul.

 

“She loves ya Nick.  What does she say about how you feel?”

 

“I haven’t told her.”

 

“Why?”  His breath was coming more slowly.  He fought for control.

 

“I told her everything would be ok.  I can’t.  Heath, has she said anything to you?”  Welcome to my parlor, said the spider to the fly.  Would his brother own up or lie to his face.  It never even occurred to Nick that he was wrong.

 

Heath was glad he could honestly answer, “No”.  Heath turned and went into the barn for more supplies.  He needed to get away.  He needed to decide his next move.  He needed time to find the words to explain what had happened, or in this case, what had not happened.  He put himself in Nick’s boots; he knew what he must be thinking.  How would he convince him?

 

Nick believed Heath’s answer, but at the same time, got what he wanted.  Nick had seen it for just a fleeting second.  He saw a flurry of emotions pass through Heath’s eyes and recognized his need for a sudden departure.   Nick stopped his work and sat down on the cold ground.  He was angry.  He was lost.  The pieces were falling in to place, without Heath saying anything.  Why hadn’t he seen it?  They had a lot in common.  What had the attacker said, her other lover, the blond one?  It made no sense.  He wouldn’t even dance with her.  Oh my God! He had been blind.  What kind of a game were they playing with him?  How could they sneak around behind his back?  He was in that instant consumed by a physical rage, fed these long weeks by his pain. 

 

“HOW COULD YOU?  HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, MY OWN BROTHER!”  Nick sprang to his feet and charged an unsuspecting Heath.  He pummeled him relentlessly.  With the first hit, Heath became helpless.  He couldn’t bring himself to fight back.  He felt the pain on his body that Nick felt in his heart.  He deserved it.  He accepted the punches.  If allowing Nick’s fists to break his body somehow helped Nick, it was the least he could do.  He attempted to defend himself only by shielding his body.  In the background, men were scrambling, not sure of what to do.  They had seen the brother’s scuffle before, but this was ferocious. 

 

Nick was a man possessed.  He hardly noticed that Heath wasn’t fighting back, barely defending himself.  Nick grabbed him by the neck, he wasn’t holding his brother tightly enough to strangle him, but rather he began to pound Heath’s head against the post on which he had pinned him.  Heath grabbed at Nick’s arms too late and he felt his world burst into shattering pain as it all went dark.  Heath slumped unconscious against the post and Nick began to kick him.        

 

The commotion got the attention of those in the house and Victoria, Isabel and Jarrod came running out.  Jarrod indicated to several of the men to help him break it up, as Victoria was demanding Nick to stop.  The men pulled the outraged brother off of Heath.   Victoria rushed to Heath’s side and began to check his injuries.  She organized the men.  One was sent for the doctor and four others were ordered to carry Heath inside.

 

Nick had regrouped enough to see his mother barking out orders to help his inert brother.  “Leave the bastard be.  He doesn’t deserve anything from you, from any of us.  He’s just here to stab us in the back!”

 

She turned on him as if she was 10 feet tall.  Her presence enveloped the room.  “Nicholas, I have no idea what is going on, but you will not tell me what to do, ever.  You have beaten your own brother and he needs help.”  Victoria’s stance was strong, but her eyes were brimmed with tears.  Why had it come to this?  Jarrod was using his own body to block Nick from moving anywhere.  Nick’s body seethed with unspent energy. It seemed an untapped well that would not drain.  Jarrod watched from the corner of his eye.  Isabel stared at the scene in horror.  She knew exactly what had happened.  He feared for her and longed for her to leave.  Nick had not yet noticed her.

 

The men moved in and gently lifted the beaten blond.  He showed no signs of wakening and this worried them.  Victoria stepped past Nick and guided the men in.  As she passed Jarrod, she stated simply, “Handle this.”

 

Nick watched the men carry his Judas brother past.  He felt nothing.  He saw the bloody beaten form and felt no remorse.  He had betrayed him and that was more then he could stand.  He had trusted this man like no other and this was his repayment.  Jarrod was shooing the gawkers back to work and for a moment let his focus on Nick lapse.  It was enough.  Nick saw Isabel near the door.

 

He stormed in and stopped just short of her.  She cowered.  Tears flowed down her face, her body trembled with fear and she bit her lip hard enough to bleed.  He knew she was terrified.  Her fear fed him.  So, she was as guilty as he was.  He had never been so tempted to hit a woman in his life.  He was not sure why he didn’t.  Jarrod moved in on the couple and prepared to move Nick if necessary.  He hoped he had it within him to handle Nick physically.  If Heath were not the focus of his rage, he was sure he could have calmed Nick down from this state.  He was furious with Isabel for not fleeing the barn sooner. 

 

Isabel looked into his eyes and saw the horrific pain he was feeling.  She summoned a small bit of resolve.  She thought she had more in her, but all that came out was a pathetic sounding, “Nick”.

 

His voice was ice cold while red-hot anger boiled under the surface.  “Was this your plan?  Turn me against my brother?  Turn him against me?  You were laughing at us the whole time you were manipulating us, right?  Why?  How could you?”

 

Her voice trembled, “no Nick, it’s not like that.  You have to understand, nothing…”

 

He restrained himself no longer.  He roared up in her face effectively cutting off any attempted defense she could offer.  “GET OUT!”  Jarrod quickly moved between them, hoping to shield her.  He called over his shoulder for her to go to her room.  She began to move away, praying it was not too late and that he would calm down and eventually listen to the truth.  “NO,” Nick yelled.  “You don’t live here anymore.”

 

He pursued her and grabbed her.  So severe was his pull on her arm that anyone in the area could hear the vicious pop as her shoulder dislocated.  She screamed in pain and grabbed her arm.  Jarrod moved in, but was shoved aside by Nick.  “Stay out of this lawyer and stay away from her.  This is between us!”  Fear paralyzed her and she waited for what she felt would be a fatal blow.  She saw nothing in his face that she could recognize.  

 

His voice became slow and perfectly controlled again.  “You won’t darken the doorway of this house again.  If you so much as set foot across the gate of the ranch I will kill you with my bare hands.  Hell, if I see you again, I’ll kill you.  You might as well be dead.”  He moved past her, shoving her to the ground as he went.

 

 She sat there stunned.  She felt numb, as if dead already.  Jarrod came to her side and tried to help her up.  “He’s upset Izzy, don’t worry.  He didn’t mean it.  He’s going to want to die himself when he realizes what he’s done.  You know his bark is worse then his bite.”  He was rambling, desperate for some relief from the tension.  He knew Nick had always had a temper, but nothing like this.  She didn’t seem to know he was there.  She looked him in the eyes at last, but said nothing.  Her eyes and expression were vacant.  For what seemed like the first time in his life, Jarrod had no idea what to do.  He needed to go after Nick and beat him to within an inch of his life, or help his mother care for Heath’s injuries, and yet, he dared not leave Izzy’s side.  “Let’s get you to the bunkhouse for now.  You’re freezing out here with no wrap.”

 

Without a word, she moved, not to the bunkhouse, but to the stable.  One of the hands had returned with a horse that was still saddled.  It was a workhorse, belonging only to the ranch, no one in specific.  Before the still stunned Jarrod knew what she was doing, she had mounted and spurred the horse on.   He ordered a nearby hand to saddle Jingo, but then saw the doctor’s carriage approach.  He would have to find Izzy later.  He knew she would go to her tree and decided he would have to risk her exposure to the weather.  Right now, he felt compelled to see to his younger brothers.  Why hadn’t he been able to stop this day from coming?  Why?

 

He met the doctor at the door and explained what had happened.  He heard Nick thrashing in the study, so escorted the man to Heath’s room, where they found his mother already tending to Heath.   She left Audra with Heath and took Jarrod into the hallway.

 

“Where is Nick?”  Her voice was full of anguish as she forced her brain to develop a sense of calm.  It had not taken much to determine what had happened.  She was angry with herself for not attempting to resolve the situation sooner.

 

“He’s in the study.”

 

“And Isabel?  Did Nick see her?  Is she OK?”

 

“No, Nick, well… Mother, not only did he threaten to kill her, he hurt her.”  He paused, reliving the scene again.  It shook him to his core.  “She rode off.  Doctor Merar will need to see her too.”  He began to berate himself.  He should have gone after her immediately.  His was awed at the control his mother seemed to possess.

 

“Go and get her Jarrod.  Bring her in through the kitchen, I am going to talk to Nick as soon as I am finished with Heath.”

 

“How is he?”  Jarrod feared he was going to drown in the whirl of emotions storming through him. 

 

“He hasn’t even stirred.  God help us all, but especially Nick, if he doesn’t make it.”

 

She reached her hand to his cheek and held his face.  She sensed his loss and took comfort in being able to console at least one of her sons.  He took her hand and held it for a moment and then turned to descend the stairs. 

 

He thought about walking past the door and going directly to his waiting horse, but he stopped. 

 

Nick was starring into the fire.  He held a bottle in his left hand, but no glass in the right.  He brought the lip of the bottle to his mouth and drank deeply.  Jarrod had no idea where the words came from, but he felt no fear of his brother at that moment and it emboldened him.

 

“Perhaps if you had tried that approach first, Heath would not be unconscious upstairs and Isabel would be here.”

 

Nick seemed to ignore him and yet Jarrod knew he was listening.  If Jarrod could count on one thing from Nick, it was the fact that he always listened to his big brother.  He didn’t always do what he asked, but he listened.  They had always given that to each other.  Getting no response, he went on.

 

“You’re wrong you know.”

 

Nick’s anger flared up and he turned on his brother.  “The hell I am, did you hear either of them deny it?”

 

“Deny what Nick?  What’s the problem here, your pride or your heart?  You want them to deny that they share an attraction or that they love you so much, they opted to remain apart rather then risk losing or hurting you.”

 

“Yeah, right.”  He was confused.  Why did he not feel better? He had his enemy, his own brother.  “He hung the damn swing.”  He paused a moment then added, “I guess they must have been successful, because I ain’t hurting one bit.  Nope, not Nick.  I sat right here telling Heath that I thought there was someone else and he said nothing.  Nothing Jarrod.  Why didn’t he tell me?”  Nick was breaking down.  Nothing was making sense to him.

 

“Damn it Nick!  How is Heath supposed to tell the brother he idolizes that he is in love with the same woman?  You know Heath better then any of us, what would you expect him to do?  He sacrificed himself, like he always does.  There is no way that even you could have put Heath in that bed, unless he had let you.”  Jarrod was worried because Nick did not seem capable of reason, almost incoherent.

 

“I saw you watching them.  You knew it.  Everyone seems to have known it.  When did I become the fool?”

 

Jarrod thought long on his words.  “I suspected they had feelings for each other, but I couldn’t confirm it.  They have made absolutely no indication of their feelings.  They were too frightened.  I doubt they have even talked about it themselves.”

 

“But the swing, the damn swing.  Why didn’t I think to build her the damn thing?  Things might have been different…”  Nick dropped into a nearby chair and slumped, his head shaking back and forth. 

 

“Because you really don’t love her like you think you do.  That swing was the act of a man passionately in love with a woman.  If you were that man, you might have done it.”  Both men were startled by the calm voice of their mother.  “Jarrod, I thought I sent you to fetch Isabel.  It is getting dark and cold.  I want her home.”  He longed to ask after Heath, but not wanting to further disappoint his mother, he left.

 

Nick was quiet, too quiet.  He had not acknowledged his mothers words, but he had heard them.  Victoria moved to stand in front of him.  She wanted so badly to yell and scream at him, to rage as he had, but she knew in an instant, there was nothing she could do or say that would punish him more then he was punishing himself already.  She took his face and raised his chin to her.  He tried to close his eyes.  The extent of his recent insanity was beginning to weigh on him.  “Don’t you dare close your eyes!   You can’t escape what has happened today.  You can only hope your brother and Isabel forgive you.”  He opened his eyes and studied his mother’s soft gray ones.  He focused on them and gathered his thoughts.  She smiled in a weak attempt to easy his pain, “I suspect they will.”  

 

“What about you?  Not the son you would hope for huh?”

 

“Nicholas, I am only sorry that your pain got to this point.  I wish you could have come to me.” 

 

“I…  I wanted to love her as my wife, but couldn’t.  Deep down I knew it.”  This was a despondent Nick reaching out to her.  Victoria grasped on to him, hoping to bring him back from the edge.

 

“You love her and she loves you, but I suspect you were both more in love with the romantic idea of each other.  There is no doubt you share a special relationship, but we should have never allowed you to carry the burden of that childhood dream.”  The reality of her words absorbed him and offered him his first real comfort.

 

He broke down.  His entire body quaked and his tears flew uncontrolled down his face and onto her hand.  “Oh God mother, What have I done?  The things I said.”  She sat on the arm of the chair, cradling and rocking him as when he was a child.  Moments such as this had been rare.  He had always worn his emotions on his sleeve.  You always knew where you stood with him.  Nothing in his life had prepared him for this experience.  This flow of bottled up emotions was indication of the despair he had felt and Victoria wept with him.

 

The room had grown dark, when Audra quietly knocked at the door.  She was scared to interrupt them, but the doctor had to leave and the room was quiet.  Victoria stepped up and blocked Nick from his sister’s view as she entered.  He appreciated her protection.  As far as he knew, he could still salvage some dignity in Audra’s eyes, he had failed everyone else today.

 

“Mother, the doctor needs to see you.  He has to go, but Jarrod hasn’t returned.”

 

Victoria walked to her daughter and took her by the arm.  They met the doctor in the foyer.

 

“How is Heath?”  She was completely in control.

 

“I won’ t lie to you.  He is pretty busted up.  There are 2 broken ribs and lots of bruises.  I stitched up the head wound, but he still has a very serious concussion.  I want someone to stay with him at all times.  It would be better if he woke up sooner then later.  He’ll have bad headaches and black outs.  You know the procedure.  I left the powders upstairs.  I don’t think he’ll even try to get out of bed before I get back.  I’ll stop in later.  Then I can check Izzy over.  If something changes before then, send a man for me.”

 

Victoria moved with him and held the door, “Thank you Howard.”

 

She saw him hesitate.  “Victoria, Heath and Nick have fought before, but never like this.  I know they are both your sons, but shall I notify the sheriff?” 

 

Jarrod’s voice surprised them all.  “Not about the fight.  We need a search party.”

 

Hearts Evolving  (End)

 

Jarrod filled the stunned silence.  “I can’t find her anywhere.”  He read the fear in their faces, but continued.  “I have already told Duke to organize the men for search parties.  Doc if you can ask the sheriff to stop out, we can get more men moving.”  He agreed and they formed their plan.

 

Isabel had indeed ridden to her tree.  One mere glance at the swing and the comfort the area had always brought her was gone.  Using her good arm, she held tighter to her mount and rode further.  She had no idea where she was going.  She felt nothing, neither the cold in her body, nor the pain running down her arm and across her chest.   She knew her life, at least here, was over.  Her father had been right.  She had lost it all and gained nothing but a dead heart.

 

Nick paced.  He had been given two options, stay in his room or the study.  He had suggested to his mother that he should ride out in search of Izzy or sit with Heath.  Although she knew he needed to see the two people and attempt reconciliation, she decided they might not be ready for him.  She had ordered him to remain where he was.  To her it felt as if he was a small boy being punished for some indiscretion.  There wasn’t a defiant bone left in him.  He readily did as his mother asked.  He was in no shape to argue.  He knew he needed his family like never before.

 

The night went by and the family’s despair grew.  Search crews had found no sign of Isabel.  Tracking her was not easy, as no one was quite sure of the shoe of the horse she was riding.  It was a busy ranch and there were a lot of trails.   They hoped that morning’s light would bring them more to work with.   Inside the house was no better off.  Heath had shown no signs of consciousness.  Doctor Merar had returned and his face displayed his concern.

 

“The longer he stays unconscious, the worse the prognosis.”  He paused a moment and then further added; “Victoria, do you think it is possible that he doesn’t want to rejoin the living?  The fight with Nick?”

 

Victoria had been thinking the same for several hours.  She had ordered Nick to stay away from Heath for fear that it would panic him and exacerbate his injuries.  Now she must rethink her decision.  Audra saw the doctor out and Victoria returned to her spot by Heath’s side.  She spoke quietly to him, reassuring him that it was all right.  She spent a great deal of time praying that her family would be healed.  She may be a biased mother, but she didn’t think her family deserved this agony.

 

Isabel was near frozen as the horse drew to a stop outside the town’s small hotel.  She had no idea where she was as she slid off the horse’s back and stood holding the saddle for strength.  She figured it must be late.  The hotel was dark.  She hoped someone was within.  She gathered her wits and moved to the door.  She knocked and got no response, so she knocked harder.  Eventually a sleepy innkeeper came to the door and admitted her.  She knew she must look a fright, so she told the man she had been attacked on the road. 

 

By some bizarre twist of fate, she had a five dollar gold piece.  Her father had always taught her to be prepared, and so each morning she tucked the piece into a small pocket that was sewn into the waistband of each of her dresses.  She thanked her father.  It would not be enough, but it would be a start.  He showed her to a room and offered to fetch the local healer, as they had no doctor.  She thanked him, but rejected his offer.  The pain was all she could feel and somehow it comforted her.  The next morning, she slipped downstairs and asked the owner about the nearest train stop.  He said it was 10 miles to Manteca.  He began to set a place at the table for her breakfast, but instead she paid him and rode on. 

 

Nick had moved to his room.  It allowed him to be closer to his brother.  He watched from a distance and grew more despondent.  It was late the following afternoon and Heath had still not shown any sign of recovery, nor had they found Izzy.  He knew deep in his heart, he had to be at his brother’s side, but dared not cross his mother. 

 

A knock at the door gave him his chance.  Victoria hesitantly left the room.  She promised herself she would not be gone long.  Nick slowly moved to his brother’s side.  He felt like he was violating his brother once again.   For a long time, he stared at him.  He was pale and still.  A white bandage swabbed his head.  He had caused this.  His brother lay at death’s doorway because of him.  With the utmost of care, he gently took his brother’s hand and leaned in close to talk to him.

 

“Heath.  You’re worrying everyone here.  I know I don’t deserve to have you wake up for me, but at least for mother.  She needs you right now.  I…  I don’t know what came over me.  I didn’t mean for this to happen.  I just hurt so badly…  I.. God Heath, I am so sorry.  You gotta wake up.  You gotta get better so you can kick my ass from here to San Francisco.  I don’t expect you to ever forgive me, but you can’t do this.  You gotta wake up.  Ya hear me boy, ya GOTTA WAKE UP NOW!”

 

“Nick!”  It was Audra.  “Haven’t you done enough?  He doesn’t need you yelling at him.  Get away now!”

 

“Someone’s gotta get through to him sis.  He can’t keep on like this.”

 

“This makes sense to you Nick?  You put him in that bed and you think he’ll just wake up for you now?”  His hopes of not involving Audra in this affair were dashed.  He had never seen her so angry. 

 

She started to reprimand him further, but a slight movement caught her eye.  She pushed Nick aside and took Heath’s hand herself.  “Heath, wake up big brother.”  They watched his eyes search his lids.  He was trying.  Nick opened his mouth to encourage him, but Audra shot him a look of disgust.  “Go get mother.  She’ll get through to him.”  He did as his sister instructed and they both hurried back.  Victoria ran into the room and flew to his side.

 

“Darling, time to wake up.  Come one, open those eyes for me.”  She pleaded with him.

 

Nick was not in the frame of mind to be patient and watch this.  “Damn it Heath, your mother told you to open your eyes.”  This was met by glares from both his mother and sister.  Nick’s temper, even controlled, was not welcome here.  As Victoria looked back to Heath though, she met his confused blue orbs.  Through his eyes she could see his mind searching.  “It’s all right Heath.  Everything will be all right.  Rest.”  She smiled down at him in reassurance.

 

Heath longed to do as his mother asked, but there was something more important.  It nagged at him despite everything he remembered happening.  “Nick”

 

His mother misunderstood his intent.  “It’s OK.  Nick’s not here.”  She shot a glance over her shoulder at Nick, removing him from the room without words.

 

“No” he croaked, “need Nick”   Mother and daughter were stunned.

 

It hadn’t been loud, but it was just the hope that Nick had needed.  He pushed his sister from her spot and offered Heath a drink of water.

 

“Here you go little brother.  Drink this.  You’ll have to forgive mother, she’s tired or she would have gotten you a drink herself.”  He slowly reached out to lift Heath’s head.  He noted a slight cringe of what must have been fear as his hand approached, but he needed to ignore it.  He lifted his brother’s head and helped him drink the needed water.  Victoria and Audra looked on, eyes brimming with tears. 

 

Heath smiled ever so slightly, “Thanks brother.”  For just a moment Nick’s heart lurched, perhaps his brother didn’t fully remember what had happened.  It seemed too easy. 

 

“Heath, I’m sorry.” 

 

Victoria crossed the floor and led Audra from the room.  She sensed Audra’s uneasy departure.  “It’ll be fine.  Leave them be.”

 

In the room, the brothers sat in silence. Heath was finding it difficult to stay awake, but fought the coming sleep.  He needed to talk to Nick first.  His voice was quiet and nervous.  “I should have said something.  I couldn’t help it Nick.  I..  I never betrayed you, neither did she.  We couldn’t have.  God Nick, I am the one who is sorry.”  He closed his eyes and fought unsuccessfully to keep his tears within. 

 

“You’re an idiot.  This isn’t your fault.  I don’t know what happened to me.  I don’t know who that person was yesterday.  It scares me that he lives inside me Heath.  I could have killed you.”  He made no attempt to hide his tears from his beloved brother.

 

“Not on your best day big brother, not on your best!”  Nick’s heart surged.  He grasped his brother’s hand even tighter and for the first time in what seemed forever, allowed himself a small smile.

 

After their initial confessions, they struggled to find the right words.  There was a certain comfort in having the truth out.  Nick was growing more nervous though.  Heath didn’t know about Izzy.  Serving his penance, he knew he needed to tell his brother everything.

 

“Heath, there’s more.”

 

“Izzy?”

 

“God help me Heath, I hurt her.”

 

Heath had begun to doze off, but came instantly fully awake.  “God Nick, you hurt a woman, much less Isabel.  What the hell were you thinking?”

 

Victoria was standing just outside the door, she wanted to move in, but held back, waiting to see what Nick said.

 

“I wasn’t.  I hurt her arm.  I think I broke it.  She rode off.”  He stopped.  He trembled to even think about what he had said to her.  His voice was quiet and lifeless.  “I told her I would kill her.”

 

“What?”  Heath had sat bolt upright and it cost him.  He immediately grabbed his side and the action sent further stabs of pain through his head. 

 

Victoria heard Heath’s cry of pain and flew in to the room.  “Nick, get out!”  She moved to Heath’s side and measured out an adequate amount of the healing powder into his glass.  “Drink this Heath, it will help.”  He did as instructed without argument.  He settled back down in to the pillows and was soon asleep.  Just before drifting off, he began to mumble.  Victoria stroked his hair and encouraged him to relax.  She could just make out his final words before sleeping, “Izzy”.

 

She could barely stand and the steps down to the platform seemed insurmountable.  She slowly climbed down and moved across to a waiting carriage.  The days since her rapid departure had left her body weak, but her mind and spirit all but dead.  In no time, the driver reined in the horses at the door.  She would be safe here.  No one would suspect this was her safe house.  The gaudy lights greeted her as she pushed open the door and collapsed.

 

BWHEBWHEBWHE

 

Days passed and Heath improved but there was no sign of Isabel.  She seemed to have vanished.  Victoria allowed Nick to visit Heath daily for short periods of time, but she was never far away.  Nick hated the sentence, but he knew he owed it to Heath not to overwhelm him.  They talked openly, each discussing their thoughts on what had happened.  They were healing the bond that had been so nearly severed. 

 

Heath was well enough to join the family for dinner a week after the explosion of insanity caused by Nick’s emotions.  They waited in the parlor for Jarrod’s return.  Heath and Nick began a game of checkers to pass the time.  Jarrod entered and apologized for his delay.  He had received the desired wire from a deputy in Manteca.  Isabel had last been seen there and he was investigating for the family.

 

“Isabel arrived in Manteca and ordered a sizeable wire transaction, enough that we won’t be able to track her by banks.  She bought some new clothes and then four train tickets, to four different locations.  No one saw which train she actually boarded, but she is gone.”

 

No one stirred.  They had hoped for more.  Victoria spoke first, “Did she see a doctor?”

 

“No, The doctor never treated her.  The train clerk said her arm was in a sling though.”  And as if anyone cared, Jarrod added, “There are sending a man to deliver the horse.”

 

Silas interrupted their silence and informed them that dinner was served.  They stood to go.  Jarrod took both Audra and Victoria on his arm. 

 

Nick stopped them, “Jarrod, when will the Pinkerton’s find her?”

 

“Soon, I hope.  We hurt her, but she maybe just needs time.”  They all looked to Heath with grieving eyes as he spoke.  He gave them a half smile and clapped his brother on the back to guide him in to dinner.  “Let’s eat big brother.  I’m looking forward to dinner with my family tonight.”   They walked to the dining room.

 

Nick now stopped Heath.  “I’ll make this right Heath.  I promise I’ll bring her home.”

 

“I know.  I know.  We will.”

 

He fidgeted in the carriage.  He blamed fate.  He had been on a ship that would have brought him home in time for Christmas.  He was going to surprise his daughter.  He had missed her.  They had been forced to suspend their trip midway on some godforsaken island when nearly half the crew had become ill.  Liam had been spared, but he had arrived too late.  The wire had been waiting for him in port and he came directly here.  He had no idea of what condition her would find his daughter.  He smiled at her choice of hide-a-way. 

 

He entered her chamber and held his breath.  She lay in the bed, pale and lifeless.  She did not even acknowledged his arrival until he sat on the bed and took the hand of her uninjured arm.  He knew she had refused to see a doctor, so he had brought one with him.

 

“I’m home sweet heart.  It’s going to be ok.  Papa’s home.”

 

She finally looked into his face and the tears spilled from hers.  Between sobs, she managed “You were right.  It all went so horribly wrong.”  She pulled herself up and he received his daughter into his arms and held on to her with all the love he had felt on the day of her birth.    He whispered into her hair as he held her. “No worries my dear, no one will hurt you again.  He’ll pay for this.  He’ll pay.”

 

TBC …