Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program Big Valley are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the authors. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted by the author.

 

 A Heart Ignored… by Frauee

 

 

It was a rare day on the Barkley ranch.  Victoria smiled to herself as she gazed around the lunch table.  Her entire family was home and enjoying the mid-day meal together.  She could never predict such occasions.  Jarrod was so often at his office in town or worse, in San Francisco.  Nick and Heath frequently stopped at a line shack for cold beans or packed sandwiches and ate on the go.  It seemed to her that the older she got, the harder her sons seemed to work.  Although she admired their work ethic and knew they came by it honestly, she wished she could convince them of the value of stopping to smell the roses.  A lesson she had come to learn so well in her life.  Even Audra seemed to be always in motion.  She seemed to pass seamlessly from one event or charity to another.   She decided then and there to require each of her children to work with her in some way on her rose garden.  Perhaps it was a bit obvious, but she would enjoy the time with them and no matter what, force them to smell some roses.

 

It was on occasions like this that a disturbing thought crept in to her mind.  Here she was, watching her children banter back and forth, enjoying each other’s company and making the most of each individual sense of humor; and it still crept in.  When would her children find the happiness she and Tom had found?  It distressed her.  She had four happy, well-adjusted children, no, no longer children, adults; and yet all remained single.  They had all been in love and tragically, had all lost.   Every now and again, this situation frightened her.  Were her children somehow doomed?  At times she even went so far as to wonder if the happiness accorded her in her life, somehow limited the happiness her children would find.  Was each person allowed only a certain degree of happiness?  Her mind knew this was nonsense, but still her heart ached for her children to find love and security in the arms of someone precious to them.  She herself knew to what heights such a love could carry a person and wished it for them as well. 

 

These thoughts dissipated as she pondered the true question in her heart.  Would she be blessed with grandchildren while she was still able to enjoy and spoil them?  She longed for this day perhaps even more.  The smile that had slept within woke and stretched to her face.  Jarrod, always observant of even the smallest things, brought her completely from her thoughts with a question. 

 

“Lovely Lady, whatever could be bringing that smile to your face?”

 

Victoria smiled at him with all the love a mother could impart and responded simply, “my children of course!”  The table grew momentarily quiet as all basked in their mother’s gaze.  They never ceased to appreciate the power of their mother’s love.  She continued, “I don’t think I can ever get enough of having my children near me.” 

 

It was Nick who broke the mood.  “As always you are correct mother, this was a wonderful lunch, but this is…” Heath cut him off.  “Only you would ruin this moment by reminding us of our working ranch.”  The sibling banter resumed as Nick attempted to defend his comment.  All Victoria could do was laugh.   Audra also attempted to change the topic.  She was annoyed with Nick.  His birthday was fast approaching, and he refused to allow the family to throw him a party.  “Now I told ya Audra, a nice steak dinner and then some time in the saloon with my brothers is all I want this year.  I don’t need a party.  The last thing I want to do is get all dolled up in a tuxedo and then stand guard over all the boys fawning over you all night.  It is my birthday after all.”

 

The last dishes were being cleared and coffee was being finished, when Ciego rushed in to the dining room. 

 

“Pardon Senora Barkley.  A delivery for Senor Nick has just arrived and he must come now. “

 

“For me?  I’m not expecting anything.” 

 

Curious about Ciego’s impatience, the entire family followed Nick and Ciego out.  No one could have expected the delivery they found.   Each, including Nick, was speechless.  This time it was Heath’s turn to break the silence.  “Boy Howdy, I don’t know if I have ever seen such a magnificent animal Nick.  Who’s it from?”

 

Nick just stammered nonsense, as he stared at the massive midnight-black Arabian stallion that loomed in front of him.  Around his neck was a large red bow with an envelope attached that read simply, Nicholas Barkley.  Nick continued to stand there gaping at the animal.  Jarrod could take it no longer and stepped closer to take the envelope.  Nick slapped his hand away and indicated that the card was for him.  He reached forward and nervously opened the envelope.  Inside was an equally simple note, handwritten in delicate script on fine paper.  It said, “Yes, he is yours.  Zeus is his name, papers to follow.  Happy Birthday!”  Nick was even more confused and turned to his family.

 

“Ok, now this isn’t funny.  Who did this?  Heath?  You had to have.   How did you manage to find such a fine animal here?  Where did you go?  That horse auction down in Yuma?”

 

Heath was equally dumbfounded.  “Not me Nick.  I’ve worked with lots of horses in my time, but never anything even close to this breed.  I’ve only seen ‘em in books.  I sure wish I had, but it wasn’t me.” 

 

The rest of the family nodded their heads in agreement.  The initial shock of everyone present was wearing off and it was Jarrod who turned to Ciego.

 

“Who delivered the horse?”

 

Ciego pointed in the direction of the stable, where a young man waited previously unnoticed.  Nick debated leaving the horse, but instead took the reins and walked the animal with him.  He could not bring himself to let the animal out or his sight, or it might disappear. 

“Who are you and who sent this stallion?” demanded Nick.

 

The young man was a bit on edge.  He had watched the whole seen unravel.  The image of Nick striding out of the house to find the horse had unnerved him.  He hadn’t expected the intensity of the man to be so overwhelming.  He hesitated too long.

 

“Speak up boy, what is this all about.  Who do you work for?”

 

“I uh, I dunno.  My name's Carl Tilton.  I was hired in Denver by a feller who was hired in St. Louis.  This horse has come a long way mister.  My only orders were to see that he got delivered to you in perfect condition.  I don’t know nuthin’ else ‘bout him.  He sure is one fine animal.  I don’t reckon there is a finer horse in all the world.  You’re a lucky man.”

 

Jarrod had been listening with the ears of a lawyer.  He was looking for some clue in what the man said.  He finally spoke up.  “So you would have us believe that a strange man walked up to you, paid you to deliver what is obviously a very expensive horse, and you don’t know who it was?”

 

“Well, if you put it in those words, it does sound kinda strange, but yeah, that’s what happened.  Honest.  I had no reason to doubt him.  He paid real good money and said it was a birthday gift and that there would be no problems.  All I had to do was drop him off. “  He paused a moment and then continued.  “Mister, I don’t think he is stolen, if’n that’s what yer worried about.  He has had first class care during his entire trip.  If I could tell you any more, I sure would.  If it ok with you, I would kinda like to get on the road again.  It’s a long trip back to Denver.”

 

Victoria took charge of the situation at that moment.  “Of course Mr. eh, Tilton wasn’t it?”  He nodded.  “We can certainly understand your desire to get home.  Can I fix you a sandwich before you leave?  It’s the least we can do.”

 

“That would be right nice of ya ma’am.  Thanks.  If it ain’t no bother, I would appreciate a bite to eat.”  Victoria directed him toward the house and Audra followed as well.  The brothers stood mesmerized by the horse before them.  One look at their respective faces showed them all to be in deep thought.  Heath interrupted his brother’s thoughts.  “Well, it looks like I got my work cut out for me today and for the next couple weeks.”   “Why do you say that little brother?” queried Jarrod. 

 

Nick was barely aware of the conversation around him.  Heath continued, “Well, I reckon a horse this good, needs to have a special stall and corral built for him.  Not to mention the fact that this mystery seems to have overwhelmed our brother here and he won’t be able to get anything done around here.  He’ll be too busy with his present.”

 

 “Touché, brother Heath, touché!  I do believe Nick will be occupied for some time.”

 

 The two brothers departed, leaving Nick to examine every square inch of this new mystery.  Little did they know, he had a strong idea of who had sent this precious gift, and the thought made him happier then he had been in a long time.  He knew it; she was coming home, and about time too.

 

(2)

 

Heath was right.  Nick was consumed with his new magnificent horse.  He did manage to see to some of the other typical ranch issues, but he left the bigger issues to Heath as he worked with Zeus.  He was aptly named.  He was the largest horse on the ranch, a god.  Nick had always taken good care of his animals, but his care of Zeus hovered on obsessive.  Even Heath questioned how long it was taking the animal to be groomed.

 

Although Nick had groomed him and exercised him, he could not bring himself to mount the animal.  This was creating problems for him.  Of course, he had caused the problems himself.  He, Heath and several of the hands had been watching him one day in the paddock.  Paul, one of their newer hands who had made a major mistake in Heath’s presence the day before, was trying to regain Heath’s good graces and commented that although Zeus was impressive, he didn’t think he could beat Charger.  That did it.  Poor Paul had fallen from the frying pan into the fire, as now both brothers glared at him.  He had caught his error too late.

 

Heath hoped his face did not betray his wild emotions.  Paul had just brought the one issue that Heath had hoped to avoid for as long as possible, to light.  He had never considered himself a vain or egotistical man.  Charger was in his own right, a magnificent animal.  Heath took pride every day in riding him.  His upbringing had taught him to be proud, yet humble and modest, and he did his best to always remember that.  What most would have never suspected is just how much pride Heath took in the reputation he and Charger had gained. They had never lost a race.  Sometimes, Heath felt as if they communicated with each other on a whole different level.  They could read each other’s wants and needs.  Everyone, Nick included, acknowledged them to be the best horse and rider in the Valley, if not the whole state.  From the moment the stallion had arrived, the fear of the inevitable challenge lurked in the back of his mind.  Now it was front and center and up for debate.  Inwardly he cringed at how it bothered him.  His mama would not be proud.

 

Nick was having similar thoughts.   He had always been a bit jealous of Heath’s reputation with horses.  But he also knew that Heath had a gift with horses and that was nothing to be jealous of or mess with.  It was simply who Heath was.  Nick had come to depend on Heath and his judgment with horses.   As Heath struggled, so did Nick.  He knew in his heart that no one or nothing could beat this animal.  He also knew that one day, he and Heath would race, and he felt Heath would lose.  He found pride in that thought, and yet it worried him.  Heath had fought hard to claim his rights as a Barkley.  His success with horses was one way he had earned the respect of many in the valley.  If Nick were to knock him off the pedestal, what would the repercussions be?  There were still those who would never accept his little brother.  For as much as he wanted to win that race, he wished also that there were some way to avoid it. 

 

 Duke McCall, who had come upon the scene, broke the tension.  “That’ll be one amazing race and I hope I am blessed to be able to see it.  What that stallion has in strength, Charger makes up for in passion.  It’ll be a dandy one.”

 

Nick was indignant.  “Are you saying you don’t think that stallion has passion?  Are you blind?  Look at him.  He is perfection.”

 

Duke smiled.  “Well Nick, he might be passionate, but you can’t judge passion until you see him handled.  And as far as I know, you ain’t put a saddle on him yet have ya?”  All the men, including Heath, nodded in agreement.

 

Nick was searching frantically in his mind for a response.  He knew he needed to try him out, but in his mind, he knew he wanted to wait until she came.  He wanted her there the first time he rode him.  “Isn’t Heath always saying, you can’t rush a horse?  This is new country to him.  I want to make sure he is ready before I turn him loose on the valley.  Besides, this isn’t some simple working horse.  He’s gonna sire a whole new line of the finest horses the Barkley stables have ever produced.”  Without allowing for anyone to reply, Nick left the group.

 

Later that evening, Nick found himself again, gazing at his new stallion.  As each day passed, he became more convinced she had sent it.  For the briefest of moments, he allowed himself to think about her.  He had buried her in his heart.  He had been ignoring her these last 6 years.  When she left, it was for a trip.  He had no idea she would stay away so long. The longer she was away, the deeper he buried her.  Oh, he got the letters and he responded to them, but never with more then general details.  He never opened his heart to her.   He laughed to no one in particular.  Even the family sensed the need for her not to be discussed.  He knew he was not the only one who missed her. 

 

He knew deep down too, that he was angry with her.  No, not angry, but disappointed.  He had come to rely on her.  She was certainly young, but she understood him like no one else and he missed that.  He again laughed at just how twisted around her little finger he was, even after all these years.  He had especially missed her when his father had died.  Why had she not come home?  She had to have known he needed her.  The anger and disappointment welled up inside.  With his finger, he caught the stray tear that started down his cheek.  She was coming home and she was sending him a message.  She missed him too.   But when?  His birthday.  He knew her plan.  Tantalize him and then overwhelm him with her return.   He was prepared.

* * * * *

Birthday magic wove its spell for Nick.  It began with the weather.  They had suffered a week of cold, blustery November rains.  It was dreary for everyone, including Nick.  He worked even harder to protect Zeus from these conditions.  He even spoke to Heath about building some kind of indoor arena to protect “the horses” in weather like this.  Heath did not tell his older brother he felt he had finally gone over the edge, but rather nodded his head in alleged agreement. 

The rains had stopped during the night and a slightly warm breeze had kicked up and begun to dry everything out by morning.  Nick woke to gorgeous sunshine streaming in through his windows.  He lay there in bed, enjoying the warm beams on his face, as he pondered what the day would bring.  When would she arrive?  Early or late?  Would she suspect a party and plan to make an entrance?  He wondered if she was in cahoots with a member of the family.  Mother?  She was capable of keeping such a secret. No, Jarrod.  Jarrod was her accomplice.  He was lawyer.  He was practiced in the art of deception.  Nick felt a bit guilty at having these thoughts about his own brother.

A light rap at the door broke his thoughts.  He croaked an early morning welcome to whoever stood on the other side.  The door opened and the whoosh of his mother’s entering form could be heard and felt.  She swooped down and kissed him on the cheek.

“Happy Birthday darling.  I am glad to see you slept in a bit for your birthday.  What shall it be, breakfast in bed alone, or presents at the table with your family?”  It might have surprised some that this active, energetic, still young man would even consider a quiet breakfast alone in his room on his birthday, but every so often he did and his mother respected that in extending the offer. 

“I think laying around with all this beautiful sunshine would be a terrible start to the day, I’ll be down shortly.”  Victoria smiled and kissed his forehead, as she so often had as a child and left the room.  Nick languidly washed the sleep from his face, donned some clothes and headed out the door.  As he entered the dining room, he found his beloved family waiting.  They all noticed the spring in his step.  He was truly happy.  Heath resisted as long as he could, as Nick settled in at his seat and began to eat.

“Boy howdy Nick, I would have never have figured this kind of enthusiasm for a man your age.  Are you sure you shouldn’t take it easier?  Birthdays don’t make you any younger ya know!”

“Try as you will baby brother, you can’t get me today.  I feel great.  It’s my birthday and before I sleep tonight, I will have the papers on Zeus.”

“What makes you so certain Nick?  Have you had another message from your secret admirer?” asked Jarrod.

“Nope, lets just say, with age comes wisdom.”

“Really?” choked out Heath behind a laugh.

“Do you want to open presents now Nick?” inquired Audra impatiently.

“Sure, lets have at ‘em” came Nick’s childish response.

Jarrod and Heath left quickly to bring the piles of presents to the table.  Nick enjoyed opening each one.  Although never extravagant, birthdays had always brought out the generous side of the family.  Nick has enjoying each and every gift.  Victoria was taken back 20 years in time to Nick’s favorite birthday.  He had turned 7 and received the present of a lifetime.  She observed the same sense of joy in him.  She smiled with happiness.   When it seemed he had opened all his gifts, he thanked one and all and began to leave. 

“Not so fast big brother.  We have one more for you.”

Heath and Jarrod left once more, while Audra moved to stand behind her brother.  She added, “This one is from all of us, so close your eyes.”  To emphasize her point, she covered his eyes with her small hands.  He attempted to swat them away, but she held on.

“No peeking!” was Victoria’s command.

The brothers soon returned and Nick was instructed to open his eyes.  The family smiled as he audibly gasped.  Before him sat the finest saddle he had ever seen.  He reached out and touched it with reverence.  It was the softest leather had had ever felt.  He was amazed at the craftsmanship.  He was stunned and speechless.

It was Heath who explained, “We figured if you were going to have the finest horse in the state, you had better have a saddle worthy of him as well.”  He quickly added, “Got any more excuses as to why he can’t be ridden yet?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be riding him soon enough.  Maybe even today.  Thank you.  This is really a masterpiece.”  Nick hugged each member of his family in turn.  Despite being a family holiday, there was still work to be done and all redirected themselves to their various tasks at hand.  They would re-gather this evening for more festivities. 

While saddling up their horses for the day, both Jarrod and Heath commented to Nick that he seemed jittery.  Nick shooed them away and went about his work.  As it was his birthday, they would not do any major efforts today.  Jarrod had a few things to see to in Stockton at his office and Heath went to pick up a part that had come in.  Nick of course, went to Zeus.  “Soon big boy, soon!”

The trained stormed in to the Stockton station right on time.  She could not contain her enthusiasm.  She had longed to return home for so long now.  The man traveling with her smiled.  He knew just how excited she was to be back.  It was the closest thing to a home he had ever had, and yet he could not think of it as such, but she did.  Deep down, he knew he had kept her away to long.  She did not often show it, but it drained her spirit.  He knew in his heart, he was the only reason she had ever left.  As much as she loved the valley, she loved her father more.  She would not leave him.  He hoped she would not one day regret her devotion.  He worried that he had pushed her too far.  Much of her happiness would depend on the reception she was about to receive.  He deserved whatever he got; she did not.  She had insisted on the surprise.  She could not have born rejection in advance. 

Having traveled for 6 years, they had accumulated many bags.  While Liam Henry Winthrop saw to the bags, his daughter rushed to the end of the train.  Men had already moved in to try and unload her precious cargo, but she wanted to see to it herself.  She was glad she had thought to change into a riding skirt.  She climbed the ramp and entered the car.  She took a few moments to calm the animal before her.  She was a beauty.  She was a deep brown, almost black and the hand they hired to travel with her, had groomed her to perfection.  She nodded to the man and made a small whistling sound.  The mare immediately followed her.  She did reach up and grab her reins as they neared the ramp.  She knew the horse had a perfect temperament and had been fine at all other stops, but she still took no chances. 

She led the horse around to the front of the station and met her father.  He could not help but notice her glow.  They stopped for a moment and looked around.  Stockton had definitely grown in the past 6 years, but still much stayed the same.  Her father informed her that it would be awhile, as he arranged for a surrey and loaded their bags.  Part of him felt it was presumptuous to assume they would be staying at the ranch, but he planned to bring their bags with anyway.  Honestly, he did not ever trust leaving the jewels packed in her bags with anyone else.  Certain things he would always see to himself.

He watched as her face displayed her disappointment.  “Why don’t you start one Barkley at a time?  Jarrod has offices here, why don’t you go see if he is in.  I will find it and meet you there.”  She smiled, gathered up her skirt and climbed on to her horse.  Her father chuckled.  He worried about her jewels while she worried about the horse.  Yep, his daughter was home.

She rode along the main street and spied the sign displaying Jarrod’s name just up ahead.  She dismounted and paused for just a moment as she tied the animal to the post.  She knew she could trust most folks, but the real treat was the horse.  She was the only one the horse allowed on her back.  If anyone tried to take her, they would be sorry.  When she wanted to be, she was one spirited mare.

Her happiness was overwhelming her and she wasn’t paying close attention as she entered the office.  She bumped into a young man, waiting in the outer office.   She stammered her apologies and took a closer look at the man.  He was a cowboy.  He did not appear extra special in demeanor; she wondered what business he had with Jarrod.  He was amazing to look at.  He was tall and broad shouldered, with sun kissed blond hair and the most incredible blue eyes she had ever seen.  She knew if she stared too long, she would get lost in the depth of those pools.  

“No problem ma’am.  Can I help you with something?”

Heath also found the site before him amazing.  She was average height, but very slender.  She had large green eyes that intrigued him.  She was well dress in a very pretty riding skirt and matching jacket.  It definitely accentuated her fine features.  Her brown hair was neatly pulled back into a stylish arrangement on the back of her head.  What interested Heath most was his unexplained attraction to this woman?  To be honest, she was not a raving beauty, but there was something almost magical about her.  

“I was looking for Mr. Barkley.”

“Which one?”  Heath found himself hoping she would say his name, but knew that was dumb, it was after all, Jarrod’s office.

She was a bit curious by his question as well, “well, um, Jarrod.  Jarrod Barkley, this is his office isn’t it?”

“Oh yeah, I’m sorry.  I don’t know what I was thinking. Ah, I’m Heath, Heath Barkley.”

“Oh my,” she exclaimed, “I am so happy to meet you.  I have been dying to meet you ever since I got the letters about your arrival.  Nicky did not make it easy on you I suspect.”

She began to continue on, and Heath wondered who she was and how she knew about him and how Nick would ever let anyone call him Nicky.  Jarrod, by this time, had heard voices in the outer office and opened the door.  She stood in the doorway, stunned.   Heath noticed his speechless reaction.  This was someone important.  The young woman turned to him and smiled.

“Remember me?”

“Oh my God.  It can’t be.  Look at you.  You’re all grown up.  Why, last time I saw you, you were a foot shorter and still wearing braids.  Please tell me you are here to stay!”

Heath was surprised by his brother’s reaction.  They both seemed to have forgotten he was even in the room.  It felt odd.

“Well, I can’t tell you anything until I get a hug.” 

It was Jarrod who rushed forward and grabbed her in a huge, expressive hug.  Again, Heath was shocked.  This was so unlike Jarrod.  He was always so calm and cool.  Heath added, for anyone who might be listening, “Well, I can see you two have some catching up to do, so I suppose I’ll see you back at the ranch.  It was nice to meet you, em, Miss…” He stopped; they had barely heard a word he said.  Jarrod was firing off questions and she was answering as fast as he asked.  He slipped out the door.  Outside he came across the magnificent mare tethered to the post.  “Boy howdy,” he thought, “I need to find out who she belongs to.  She is perfect for Zeus.  Imagine the foals they would create.”

The couple in the office was oblivious to the rest of the world.  Neither noticed Liam enter the room.  He coughed once, and then again a little louder.  Finally, he said in a loud voice, “Hello!”  Both people stopped at once and laughed.  Seeing Liam, Jarrod moved toward him and shook his hand firmly.  “My God its good to see you both.  Please tell me you are home to stay. And of course, you will stay at the ranch.”

“Well now Jarrod, I was not so sure we would be welcome at the ranch.  A lot has happened since we left.” 

Jarrod could see the uncertainty in Liam’s eyes as he spoke the words.  He also sensed the tension in the girl.  No, she was a woman now.  He corrected himself and added “Nonsense!  What on earth would make you feel that you would not be welcomed with open arms, as you always have been.”

She answered first, “We should have come home when your father was killed Jarrod.”

Jarrod reflected a moment.  “It couldn’t have been easy staying away.  Please tell me that this is not the reason you have been gone so long.”

“No, but my last words to your father were not how I would have chosen to end our relationship.  God, he was my best friend.  It was months before the wire caught up to us and by then, I just couldn’t see how we could help.”

“No, when you came home is not important, you are here now and that is what counts.  Let’s head out to the ranch.  I can’t wait to see the family’s response.  Heath, oh my.  Where did Heath go?”

“Oh Heavens, some first impression I must have made.  First I bump in to him, then we ignore him.”  She stopped her train of thought a moment, and a panicked expression visited her face.  “Will he tell the family before we get there? Oh no, I never even gave him my name.  Please, let’s go.  That was no way to be introduced to my newest brother.”

A Heart Ignored (4)

The trio stopped only long enough to pick up Jarrod’s horse and then made their way to the ranch.  Warm feelings and memories came flooding back to her as she rode and took it all in.  Her memories had not let her down.  It was all the same.  Her father had forced her to ride in the surrey, rather then on horseback.  “You will make a proper arrival young lady.”  Jarrod chuckled to himself.  Liam had always struggled to keep his daughter ladylike.   Convincing her to wear a dress; had always been a battle.   The men chatted about changes and improvements.  They both noted the look of pure joy pasted to her face.  Jarrod smiled at a thought that entered his mind.  “It was you, wasn’t it?”  He did not realize he had said it out loud until she responded.

“He likes him, doesn’t he?” she asked quietly.

“Yes, no doubt about that.  I think he knows it was you.  He hasn’t said anything, but my instinct tells me, he knows.”

“Does he ever talk about me Jarrod?” 

“Honestly, no.  I think it is hard for him to admit he misses a scrawny little girl who followed him like a puppy.  Men do have pride you know.  I don’t think Heath even knows the whole story.  He has seen a few pictures though.” 

They continued on in silence.  Liam’s guilt was beginning to get the best of him.  His mind knew that taking his daughter away from this valley was the best thing he had ever done as a father.  If he had stayed, he would have been dead at Tom’s side.   He instead, had laid the world at her feet.  His heart knew that taking her away from this valley, from Nick, was the single worst thing he had ever done.  He doubted that he had really understood the relationship between the two.  She was so much younger then Nick.  And yet Nick had never complained about her presence, at least not seriously.   He anxiously awaited this reunion.

As they pulled up to the house, there was no containing her.  She bounded out of her seat, not waiting for assistance and ran to the door and flung it open, as she had her entire life.  Jarrod and Liam followed behind her, not wanting to miss a moment.  She called out to whoever would hear, “anyone here to welcome a stray home?”  At this sound, Victoria rounded the hall at the top of the stairs and stopped in her tracks.  She was frozen in time.  Before her stood the little girl who had come into the house so many times before, and yet not.  It was in all actuality, a beautiful young woman.  She was spell bound. 

“Mum?”

At this one word, spoken with pure love, Victoria’s heart burst open and she all but flew down the stairs and swept the girl into the most enormous hug she could muster.  For what seemed forever, she held the girl.  Not wanting to let go.  Afraid it was a dream.  It seemed as if years had gone by, she stepped back and took the woman’s young face in her hands and examined her. 

“Your all grown up.  How could you?  Where is my little sprite?”

“I’m right here.  I missed you so much.”

By this time, both women were crying.  Audra had entered the foyer from the rear of the house and also stood in disbelief.  Victoria saw Audra enter and stepped aside to allow the girls to greet each other.  The time had flown.  The last time these two were together, they were giddy schoolgirls, sharing a room out of desire, playing pranks and annoying the boys.    Now, two young women, so close in age, held each other tightly.  Audra was insisting on hearing everything. 

Leaving the girls, Victoria turned to the man with her son.  A man she knew so well; yet had also not seen in six long years.  Their eyes met and both understood.  He stepped up to Victoria, kissed her forehead and held her in his arms.  For an instant, she felt a longing she had not felt in years.  Oh how she wished he had been here after Tom died.  She could have used those arms to hold her and those shoulders to cry on.   She looked him in the eyes, and said, “welcome home Liam.  It’s been too long.”

“I wasn’t sure you would welcome us home.” He quietly stated.

She immediately saw he had been suffering.  She remembered the night he announced that he would be leaving.  Tom had been furious.  They argued back and forth for hours.  Tom maintained that since the railroads were acting up, he needed Liam more then ever.  He yelled time and time again, that Liam had to stop running away and stand and fight for something.  Tom had said out loud, for the first time, all the slanderous things that had been continually hurled in Liam’s face.  Tom had never dared before. 

He and Liam had grown up together.  They had come west together.  But Liam was never one to settle down.  He was always drifting and trying new businesses.  Ironically, most thought he was a no-account drifter, who used the Barkley’s.  Tom knew better.  Although living a simple life, Liam was amassing a huge fortune, most likely dwarfing his own growing estate.   Liam argued that he was not going to risk his life and his daughter’s life over something as meaningless as land. 

That had been the straw, the raindrop that felled the damn.  Tom felt as if the man he considered closer then a brother had slapped him in the face.  Within a week, they had packed up their belongings and headed east for a European trip.  Liam told Victoria that he would see to it, his daughter, the only thing he lived for, would have the best of everything.  He was right.  She had the best of everything materially, and now she was home, to reclaim her heart.  Victoria was overjoyed.   “Tom was a stubborn man.  Then again, so are you.  Despite what happened, he did understand, and he would have been the first to welcome you back, as I do now.”  They hugged again.

Jarrod broke everyone’s various attentions, by indicating that there was still a proper introduction and a very important reunion to conduct.  He asked where Heath and Nick were.  Victoria replied that a problem in the feed loft had occurred and they were both out trying to fix it.

The group walked to the stable, Victoria’s arm tightly around the young woman’s waist.  They could hear the commotion from inside.  Despite their excitement, they were hesitant to interrupt the crew working, so they waited.  After a few minutes, it seemed to be settling down and Jarrod called to Nick and Heath.  Heath turned first and saw the group, including the woman from earlier.  In the commotion, he had forgotten all about her.  He grabbed Nick’s arm and turned him around to see the group slowly approaching.  Nick stopped for only a split second and resumed working.  Heath watched the hurt look pass across the woman’s face, and he motioned to Nick again.  Nick finally relented and they both moved to the entrance of the stable. 

Nick’s face was unreadable.  Victoria was frightened.  Would her son reject them?  The girl moved ahead of the group and approached the two men.  The pain was obvious on her face.  This was her worst nightmare.  As she got closer, Nick turned from her.  He heard her whisper his name.  He was trying so hard to keep up the front, but he lost it and turned back to her, with a huge smile on his face. 

“Happy Birthday Nicky! 

She literally leapt into his arms.  He grabbed her and pulled her into his chest with all his might.  Were she not so happy, she would have admitted to being choked.  He was crushing her with his outpouring of love.  Nick did lighten up as he realized she was gasping for air.  He spun her around and then set her back on her feet.

“Welcome back Dizzy!”

 

A Heart Ignored (5)

“Look at you.  Part of me would have never recognized you.”

There was nothing she could say.  He had pulled her in to his arms again, and she merely took it all in, tears streamed down her face.  She had no idea how long they stood there.  After looking on for a few minutes, Victoria tapped Nick on the arm and pointed to Heath, who was waiting patiently for not only an introduction, but an explanation as well.  Nick relented and released her.  He then took her arm and guided her to Heath. 

“Heath, allow me to introduce to you, Miss Isabella Hope Winthrop, daughter of that ugly man over there, Liam Winthrop.”  This said, Nick moved aside and strode over to Liam to greet him as well.  Upon reaching Liam, he leaned in and said very quietly, “It’s about damn time mister.”

Meanwhile, Victoria moved in to continue the introduction she had found lacking on Nick’s part.  “Isabel, this is Heath.”

Isabel interrupted, “I am so sorry about earlier.  I am afraid I got carried away with my return.  I am very happy to meet you.  The entire family wrote very highly of you.  Sounds like you are the perfect addition to the family.  I have been looking forward to meeting you.”  Heath blushed at the forthright praise.  She was amused.  He was just as Audra had said. 

“As I said before, no problem.  Miss Winthrop.  I recognize the name from pictures in the album.  Welcome home seems in order.” Gallantly replied Heath.

“Oh heavens, don’t you dare call me Miss Winthrop.  Izzy please.  Isabel if you must.”

Victoria continued her introduction.  “So you two have met?”

“Not officially mother, I was in Jarrod’s office when she arrived, but we weren’t formally introduced.”

Isabel smiled at Heath’s use of mother.  Victoria had written her about the first time he had addressed her as so.  It had made her so happy.  She felt as if Tom had sent them a gift from beyond.  She had never let on if the circumstances of his birth had bothered her.  Of course, she was too much a lady for that, even if it did.

“Liam and your father grew up together back east.  When Tom and I moved west, he came along.  Of course, he did not settle, but he visited often enough to remain a member of the family.   He surprised us one December and returned with a beautiful bride, Lillian.  He actually set up a house.  We knew then and there it had to be love.”  She smiled back at Liam and continued.  “After a few years, this darling girl came in to the world.  I suspect she spent more of her childhood here in this house, then her own.  But they had to be off to see the world over 6 years ago and now they finally have returned home.”

Heath longed to ask a few more questions, such as where they lived and what had happened to Lillian, but he resisted.  Nick had moved back to take Isabel’s arm.

“So, Dizzy, Zeus?”

It was as if the rest of the group disappeared and Nick and Isabel were enveloped in their own bubble.  She smiled at him.

“Just a little something I picked up.  I thought you might like him.  How’s he handle?”

Nick stumbled over his words. “Well, you see, um, Dizzy, I haven’t taken him out yet.  I was waiting for you.”

“Nicky!  Dammit!  That is one piece of horse perfection and you have left him lollygagging around.  I thought you knew about horses.  Ya idiot!  Go get him saddled, while I get my horse.  You don’t seem to deserve it, but the gift isn’t over.”

She hit him on the back to usher him along and turned back to the group.  There were all laughing but Heath.  He was completely caught off guard.  He had never heard anyone talk to Nick like that and return unharmed, much less a woman.   It was no wonder the family responded like this to her return.  She had some powerful hold over people.  He even felt it creeping in on him.

“Nicky and I are going riding.  We have some serious catching up to do.”

She passed them and moved over to the surrey they arrived in.  The group followed, too happy to speak.  Heath saw immediately, that she was about to mount the mare he had seen earlier.  She sure was some woman and she sure seemed to know her horses.  He wondered if it was her skill or her father’s.  He was betting it was hers.  A smile came across his face.  He was going to enjoy having her around.  At the very least, he would enjoy watching her handle Nick.  She mounted up, bid the group goodbye and rode over to where Nick was waiting. 

His family had been right; his new saddle was perfect.  As she approached, he mounted Zeus for the first time.  It felt good.  He felt power like he had never felt on a horse before.  It was then that he noticed the mare she was riding.  It was almost an equally perfect mount.  It did not surprise him; she had always known a good horse, even as a young girl.  He used to think he had taught her everything she knew.  But she grew beyond that, and he knew it was more a gift, like Heath.  Oh god, heaven help him if Heath and Dizzy decided to gang up on him.  He knew at that moment, his life would never be the same again.  He thought perhaps, it was even perfect and he smiled.

The image before her was exactly as she had imagined.  Nick look like a god on Zeus’s back.   She had selected the names for a reason.  She joined Nick and they started down the road at a saunter.  As if reading each other’s minds, they both took off at the same time.  They raced through fields for a long time.  After a while, they stopped at a stream to rest the horses. 

“That is a pretty amazing piece of horseflesh you got there yourself dizzy.”

“I hoped you’d say that.”  She glanced around the area and saw the large tree on the knoll above them.  “I’m glad you stopped here.”  She walked up the hill, Nick following close behind.  “I’m so sorry Nick.  I should have been here.”  She finished just as they both stopped in front of Tom Barkley’s grave.  He looked over and saw the tears in her eyes.  “I miss him.  I keep expecting him to grab me and give me a big old bear hug like he used to.”

“I miss him to, everyday.” He paused a minute.  “It’s ok that you weren’t here.  For heaven’s sake, you were just a kid.  What, 14?  It wasn’t your place to heal my pain.  I was the adult, remember?  I think your dad was right getting you away.”

“I could have helped some.  We could have helped each other.”

“You’re looking back with adult eyes.  That isn’t fair.  Its really ok.”

He hugged her.  It occurred to him that it was just not the same.  Her body had obviously grown up and his had changed some too, she did not fit like she had as a child.  It still felt good, warm and comforting, but not the same.  He wiped the tear that had fallen down her cheeks and changed the topic.

“So, tell me about this horse of yours.”

“Horse of ours”

“Huh?  I don’t understand, certainly you’re not giving me both horses.  My god, Zeus is horse enough for a lifetime.”

“Ask me her name.”

“So, still play games huh, ok, I’ll bite.  What’s her name?”

“Hera”

It hit him.  Zeus and Hera.  They were gods themselves, who went on to create an impressive line of gods, if you believe mythology. 

“I’m home Nick, and I want Barkley-Winthrop.  Zeus and Hera can be our standard.  Nicky, I looked all over the world for the two horses that would start our dynasty.  They are it.  Unless you were just making promises to a child?  Did you mean it Nick?  Will you be my partner, like you always promised?”  She handed him a packet of legal documents.  “Jarrod can check the whole thing over.”

“Yes”

 

4

The rest of the family adjourned to the parlor to catch up.  Heath felt Liam’s eyes intently on him.  It made him uncomfortable and he attempted to change the topic.  “So, how is it, that this young woman has such a hold on my big brother?”  He had opted to use big brother, rather then Nick.  He felt the need to establish his place in the family with this newcomer.

Liam laughed.  “Nick was in love with my wife.”

Heath, who had just taken a sip of his water, gasped and spit the water out.  He grabbed a napkin and quickly mopped his face.  “What?”

Victoria’s eyes were bright with amusement as she continued.  “When Liam arrived with Lillian, Nick was only four.  He fell instantly in love with her, as only a 4 year old could.  He followed her everywhere.  One day, he even asked her to marry him.   I’ll never forget that day.  He was so sincere.  Lillian, not wanting to break his poor heart, said they could talk about it again when he was a little older.”

Jarrod interrupted her.  “Didn’t he ask again the next day?”

Victoria nodded.  “Yes he did.  He said that he was older; would she marry him now?  It went on like that for a long time.  He never gave up.  Finally Tom sat him down and explained that Lillian was married to Liam already and that she really was too old for him.  He made the mistake then.”

“ah, hem  I don’t think it was a mistake.  Tom was a smart guy.”  Added Liam.

“What was the supposed mistake?” inquired Heath.  He was caught up in the story.  He was enjoying this image of Nick.  All too often, the family did not talk of their childhoods.  They thought it bothered him.

“He told Nick, that someday, perhaps Lillian and Liam would have a little girl and then Nick could marry her.”  Victoria paused to recall the look on Nick’s face.  “Nick was fine with that solution.  He still worshipped Lillian, but he had stopped the proposals.”

Liam took over the story from there.  “When Lili finally conceived a child, Nick was so proud.  But we lost the baby.  I’ll never forget what he said, when we told him.  He said, “Uncle Liam, it must have been a boy.  God is gonna send you a girl for me to marry, don’t you forget it.”  The room fell silent.  “Well, God must listen to little boys, because we became pregnant again.”

Jarrod took over.  “I remember how happy he was.  Lili had told him the baby was going to come around his birthday.  She asked him if he thought that was a good present.  He ran around the house for weeks saying “I’m getting a baby.”  Everyone laughed and then grew silent.

“Izzy began to make her appearance, the day before Nick’s birthday.   It was a horribly long labor and she developed complications.” Victoria added quietly.

“It was the worst day of my life.  How is a man supposed to answer when the doctor approaches you and asks whom you want to save, your wife or child?  I still have nightmares.  I never did answer him.  Victoria called him back upstairs and Lili breathed her last breath as Izzy breathed her first.”

There was silence in the room for some time. 

“She was so small.  We could never seem to get her warm or stop her crying.  Nick snuck into the nursery and looked down at her.  He took her tiny hand in his and said “I’m Nick.  It’s our birthday.  You are my gift from Miss Lili.  When you grow up, your gonna marry me, so I reckon I can start taking care of you now. She stopped crying.  It was amazing.”

“The rest is history!  She never left his side”

Audra, seeing an opportunity to join the story, corrected him, “she did too.  It sure seems to me that she spent an awful lot of time with me.  She has always been like my sister Heath.”

Heath summarized the ending, “so at the ripe old age of seven, Nick became betrothed?  I wish I had been here for that.”  He still had a lot more questions, but he knew they would have to wait.  Did the love of his brother’s life just return home to him?

The comment stunned Jarrod and Victoria.  It was the first time, Heath had ever expressed such a regret so openly.   Heath did venture another question.  “so, today is Isabel’s birthday too?”

“No” came the response from the doorway.  She had overheard what Heath had asked.  “I don’t celebrate birthdays.  This is Nicky’s special day.” 

“Nick, handed the papers to Jarrod and said “file those for us will you big brother.”

“What are they?  Shouldn’t I read them first?  Nick you didn’t sign something did you?”

“Yes I did.  Those documents create “Barkley-Winthrop Stables”, he looked at Izzy and smiled while he added, “just as we always planned.”  Then he dropped down lower and whispered something for only her ears.  “Dizzy, ya gotta knock off the Nicky part now.  I do run this ranch ya know!”  She smiled back at him.  “Occasionally, in private?”  He winked at her.

The questions flooded into Heath’s mind.  Nick had just gone in to business?  Where did that leave him?  Was he going to follow through on all the promises he had made this girl?

At that moment, Silas entered the room to announce dinner.  Seeing him, Izzy threw herself at him and gave him a big hug.  He hugged her back and welcomed her home.  She excused herself and ran to clean up for dinner.  As she predicted, her luggage was there, in her old room, right next to Audra’s.  It was so good to be home. 

A Heart Ignored (4)

The cool fall days seemed to be passing faster then normal.  Nick and Heath were caught up in winter preparations.  It was not a great time of year.  There was typically a cold biting wind and frequent rains.  The fact that Isabel often joined them out at work sites; surprised and impressed Heath.  She had some nature.   It was not uncommon for her to ride out with them in the morning and then stay until well past lunch.  He found himself growing fond of her.  He could see why Nick was devoted to her.  She had the ability to make you feel like you were the most important person in the world.  She did it so naturally. 

Heath could sense that Nick and Isabel tried to keep their conversations inclusive of him.  They made every attempt to make him feel comfortable in their presence.  What they did not realize; was how unsuccessful they often were.  Inevitably, they would spend a great deal of time discussing their plans for Barkley-Winthrop.  Sometimes Heath chuckled to himself during the conversations.  It sounded more like planning a marriage, then a business.  He had thought a lot on this subject.  If Nick, even as a child, had planned to marry this girl, he most likely would.  It certainly made sense of the fact that he had not yet married.  Somewhere in the back of his heart, he must have been waiting for her return.  It would be a good marriage.  Heath was happy for them.   He liked the thought of many years to come enjoying their company.  He smiled inwardly.

Today’s lunch was no different.  They had brought sandwiches with them from Silas and sat down under a large tree to eat. 

“I just don’t think that is the right location” complained Nick.

“What do you mean?  It’s perfect.  It is close to the main ranch and yet far enough away to be considered separate.   The space is great too” argued Isabel.

“Dizzy, I can’t be that far from the ranch.”

“Duh, I will live there.”

“There isn’t even a house.  You can’t live in the burnt out ruins of the cabin.”

“Oh my, I had not thought of that,” came her sarcastic reply.  “maybe, just maybe, we could build a house and then stables and corrals and outbuildings.” 

“You mean to tell me, that you think you can run the place yourself.  There is NO WAY you are living out there alone.”

“I wouldn’t be alone, I am sure we will need to employ some hands.”

“Oh, even better.  A beautiful single woman with a bunch of cowboys.  Yep, ah huh, Mother and your father are going to love that.”

“Oh seriously Nicky, you are so old fashioned.  Woman run ranches by themselves.  This isn’t the 1770’s.   Heath, what do you think?”

Heath had been quietly observing the argument and was startled to be brought into it.  Before he could say anything, Nick jumped in.

“Now don’t go bringing him into this.  He is not a part of Barkley-Winthrop.”

It was the moment Heath had dreaded more then the horse race.  The truth was now known.  He played no part in his brother’s future plans.  He did not expect to be part of their marriage, but he was interested in their horse business.   He had expected this moment to hurt, but could not have imagined the sharp, cold dagger that he felt spear his heart.  He knew he had not been able to keep these emotions off his face, and he also knew Isabel had seen it.  Nick was not facing him, but her eyes reacted to his and she saw straight through him.  It was an equally unnerving feeling.

She attempted to recover for him.  “His name is Barkley and we would be idiots if he was not part of Barkley-Winthrop.  He knows horseflesh better then anyone I have ever met, including you.  Don’t be an ass.”

Nick was shocked.  She had teased him plenty and called him lots of names, but never anything like this.  She had meant each and every one of those words.  She was right of course.  He wanted to respond, but could not find the words.  An approaching rider disrupted his thoughts. 

“Nick,” Paul stopped and was swept away by the sight of Isabel before him.  It was obvious he was smitten.  Nick saw it as well, and demanded his attention.  “What?”  Paul caught himself and continued, “Mike Duggin is up at the house and was wondering if he could talk to you.  It sounded important, so he asked us to get you.” 

“Fine.  Heath, you OK to finish this?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you at dinner.”

Nick turned to Isabel, “Dizzy, you want to get your stuff?”

She surprised him, “No, I will stay and keep Heath company.  We still have a lot of getting acquainted to do.”

On that note, a bemused Nick rode off with Paul and Isabel turned to Heath.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“’Bout what? Paul?  I reckon all the hands are watching you.”

She laughed, “No, I mean Nick’s comments.  He doesn’t always think before he speaks.  He didn’t mean it.”

Heath was quiet a moment, “I think he did.  You are pretty special to him.  I think he likes the idea of having you all to himself.”

“I don’t think that’s it.  I feel like he ignores a lot of what I feel.  I thought it would be different, but I think he looks at me and sees the child that left.  I haven’t grown up in his eyes. “  She paused, searching his face to see if she could continue.  She needed to talk to someone about this.   For some reason, she had the feeling she could tell heath anything. “The day I came back, I told him I was sorry I had not been there when Tom died.  I told him I had needed to be there.  He laughed it off and said that I was a child.  He didn’t see, that my heart had needed to grieve too.  Neither did my father.  They assumed because I was a child, I was fine.  I wasn’t.”

“That why you have ridden up to his grave each morning before breakfast?” he asked.

“How did you know?” She was confused.  She had no idea Heath paid this kind of attention to her.  She was a bit scared and at the same time flattered. 

“I followed you the first morning.”  He watched her face now register dismay, but he continued.  “It had been a while since you had been on the ranch, so I wanted to be sure you knew what you were doing.  I didn’t mean to pry.  I only followed you the first morning.  After that, I just noted you continuing to ride out that direction each morning.  I was only guessing that you stopped.”

She was quiet.  It did not bother her that Heath had followed.  She felt it was a good thing, a sign of just what a wonderful man he was.   She found herself liking the attention from him.   “You need to tell him how he hurt you today.”

“You told him how you feel?”

“no”

“you first”

Isabel wasn’t one to back down from a challenge.   Nick knew this about her.  She was amazed Heath had figured her out so fast.  She loved Nick and she knew the conversation she was about to have with him would hurt him.  She knew however, that it was needed.  If only to get him to see how he had treated Heath.  She would have her opportunity after dinner.  It had become their custom to “put the babies to bed” after dinner.  They would make one final check that Zeus and Hera, their future, were secure for the night.  Heath watched them go tonight and wondered if she would indeed say anything and what she would say.  He went up to his room, prepared for a very grouchy Nick in the morning.  He figured his conversation with Nick would have to wait.

Nick could see that she was stalling.  He knew she wanted to talk.  He hated that.  He was not a “speak from the heart” kind of guy, unless it was truly necessary.  Perhaps it was a weakness.  He believe that his family understood that he loved each one enough to die for.  He did not always profess his love for them.  He loved Dizzy the same way.  He supposed she needed this talk to reassure herself that she did have a hold on his heart.  He was unprepared for the first question out of her mouth.

“Nicky, who do you see when you look at me?”

“What?  What kind of a question is that?  You’re a beautiful woman. Anyone with eyes could see that.  Hell, a blind man could probably see your beauty.”

She could not help but smile and honestly had no response.  This was Nick, always unexpected.  “Is that all you see?”

“Can’t we just cut to the chase?  I figure you want to talk about what happened with Heath today.  I’m sorry.  I’ll talk to him tomorrow and we’ll be fine.  We always are.  What does that have to do with how I see you?”

“You treat me the same way you treat him.”

“Well, hell, I love you both, if that’s what you mean.”  He was growing more confused by the minute.

“no.. oh I don’t know.  I’m not saying this right.”  She was becoming equally as flustered.

“I am a tough ol’ cowboy, just spit it out.  I have heard lots of hard things in my life.”  He looked into her face, really looked into her eyes, perhaps for the first true time.  He saw the depth of emotion.  She truly was struggling with the words.  “Nothing you say could make me love you less.”  A tear slid down her cheek and this riled him even more.  “Out with it now!”

“Niiick…  I am not a little girl with a 13-year old heart that you can ignore anymore.”

“What?  I don’t understand.  You tell me one time I have ever ignored your heart.”

“The last 6 years,” she whispered.

“I think father and I would have come back years ago.  All you had to do was ask.  You never did.  In our letters, you stated only the facts.  You never said you missed me.  You never opened up.  You were writing to a child, but the child grew up.  I kept waiting for you to say, “come home Dizzy, we need you.” but you didn’t.  The other day, at your father’s grave, you didn’t listen to what I was saying.  I needed to be here too.  I was grieving.  I lost him too.  I needed you to write and say, come home, but you didn’t.”

“I just don’t understand what you want from me.” Nick replied after a lengthy, uncomfortable silence.

“Oh, I don’t know now.  None of this is making sense.  I don’t know if you shut your heart down, or if I feel you really were ignoring mine.  But it seems like since I have been home, you really might have truly missed me.”

“I did.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

His mind was reeling.  He thought he had.  He really did not understand.  All this was making no sense to him.  When did she become this emotional woman?  As soon as the thought went through his brain, it seemed as if it stopped and slapped him.  She was a woman now.  This was a woman seeking to understand a man and his actions.  Gone was his shadow, his dizzy.  Gone was the little girl who knew she was loved, simply from the bear hugs and kisses on the forehead.  In her place had grown a young woman who was seeking to understand his behavior toward her, her place in his life.    The realization did not help him.  What was his relationship with her?  He knew he loved her.  He knew he would hate to see her go, but what did that mean?  He fought for something, some way to answer her and calm her fears.

“You were a child.  You froze in time when you boarded that train so long ago.  I’m sorry if I hurt you.  I don’t know what else to say.”

“Say that you do know that I am all grown up.  Say that you know I have a heart, and it gets hurt, say…”

He cut her off.  “Stop this.  It’s not going anywhere.  I needed to wake up and I think I pretty much have.  You are grown up.”  She looked up into his face with a quirky smile.  He pulled her in to his arms and held her tight.  No, she did not quite fit, but it still felt right.  She was most definitely a woman, with all her emotions and insecurities.  Damn if he hadn’t thought Audra was worry enough, now his Dizzy was back, and a full-fledged woman.  Women!  Barkley-Winthrop was going to keep him on his toes.

****

The next morning, Nick met Isabel at her bedroom door.  “Good?” he asked.

“Good!” She responded as a smile crossed her lips.  He placed his arm lightly around her waist and turned her toward the stairs.

As they reached the bottom landing, Heath came in the front door.  He smiled as she gave him a knowing wink.  “Excellent,” he thought to himself.  They may have taken the first step.  He found himself wondering if Nick realized he was in love with her.   He certainly knew he loved her, but did he know he was “in” love with her?  He joined the family at the table and the familiar banter began.  He loved meals with his family.  He would never tire of this quality time.

“Dizzy, please pass the salt” asked Nick.

She passed him the salt as asked and it occurred to Heath.  “I think I am owed another story.  Why do you call her “Dizzy”?”

Heath was surprised when it was Jarrod who answered.  “Isabel became dizzy due to father and Nick.  She was always a bit on the small side and so they used to love to grab her, raise her in the air and spin her around.  You could hear her laughter around the entire ranch.”

“That’s our Dizzy,” continued Liam.  “She loved it so much, that when they weren’t around, or couldn’t spin her, she would twirl in circles until she couldn’t stand anymore.  She would sit on the ground for the longest time until she could get her bearings back.”

Isabel had been silent, but blushing bright red through the whole telling.  She finally spoke.  “Do we have to share every story?”

Nick interrupted.  “Yeah, if you’re going to tell the story, at least get it right.  I call her Dizzy, because she was ditsy and her name is Isabel.  Get it, D-Izzy.”

Victoria reprimanded him before Isabel could.  “Nick…don’t say such things.”  Everyone broke into semi-quiet laughter and Isabel glared at Nick with a large smile.  As they rose from the table, Isabel noticed her hem was ripped and excused herself to go and change.  Heath had also needed to get something from his room and followed her. 

Heath was a step or two behind her when it happened.  She caught her shoe on the ripped hem and stumbled.  Had it not been for Heath’s quick actions, she might have had a deadly spill.  He saw her begin to stumble and in an instant had moved himself into position to catch her as she fell.  He held her for a moment as she righted herself.  She apologized for her clumsiness, thanked him profusely and continued her assent.  Liam had watched the scene unfold from the landing below and had held his breath as he watched Tom’s son save his daughter.  He was grateful to Heath.  Then he saw his daughter and the look that crossed her face.  It worried him. 

Nick and Heath rode out to the north pasture and worked in relative silence for the better part of the day.  Isabel had gone into town with Jarrod and Liam, so it was a return to the comfort they had once known.  As they finished up their work, Nick summoned his courage and told Heath he was sorry.

He played along.  “For what Nick?”

“Yesterday.  I didn’t mean what I said about you not being part of Barkley-Winthrop.  It’s funny.  Dizzy told me last night that she thought I was ignoring her heart.  I didn’t quite understand that, but I do think that maybe, since she came back, I have been ignoring yours little brother.”

It was more then Heath had expected.  He was prepared to brush the situation aside after the initial comment.  He was both overwhelmed and reassured by his brother’s expression of love.  He decided to strike while the iron was hot.  “Not a problem Brother, but thank you for saying it.  To be honest, I would be lying, if I didn’t admit to finding a few streaks of jealousy lately.  She sure is a special woman.”

“That she is.  She was worried about you.”

“She has no need to worry about me.  I know ya.  I know how you feel, even if I might forget for a spell.  I am more worried about you.”

“Do tell, why worry about me?”

“I think maybe it’s your own heart you’re ignoring.  Didn’t you promise to marry that girl the day she was born, hell before she was born?  Well, now she’s a woman, a might wonderful woman too.  Are you being honest with yourself?  I’ve never known Nick Barkley to break his word.”

Nick was speechless.  Was Heath implying that his feelings for Isabel had somehow changed?  They mounted up silently.  Each consumed by their thoughts during the ride back to the ranch.  As they approached a large stretch of open field, Nick turned to Heath and said, “We have other unfinished business.”  They both needed a change in thoughts.  Heath immediately understood and took a deep breath.  “I agree.  But how about, we keep it between ourselves, no matter what happens?  To that old oak at the river?” 

“Agreed”

Immediately the two men yelled “ha” simultaneously and spurred their respective mounts on.  It had all come down to this day.  Heath and Charger.   Nick and Zeus.  It was a glorious day for both men and a great day for brothers too.

A Heart Ignored (5)

Many in the house that night would have been interested to learn of the number of restless people in the house.  As Audra, Jarrod, and Victoria slumbered peacefully unaware, there were four others restlessly tossing and turning. 

Nick was wide-awake thinking about Heath’s words.  He had really not thought about marrying Isabel.  He had always thought it was make believe, a game from childhood.  He hadn’t really thought about marrying her when she was little.  He simply loved her company, like his sister Audra.  However, if he were honest, as he was trying to be, he had never spent the kind of time with Audra that he had with Isabel.  He did it again.  He was referring to her as Isabel.  Were these all signs?  The discussion last night with her? The one today with Heath?  He couldn’t even bring himself to call her by her childhood name anymore.  Did he love her?  Love her more?  In a new way?  Then it hit him.  Did she love him?  Was that what last night was about?  She loved him and she was having problems telling him?  Had she spent her time away planning on a future as his wife?  It was overwhelming him.   Tomorrow would be a long day.

Isabel was not sure why she could not sleep.  She was not sure why the faces of these two men kept interrupting her attempts to quiet her mind for rest.  The bold brash passionate man she had always loved and now this new one.  He was quiet, gentle, and yet also passionate.  She shivered as she remembered the brief instant in his arms.  It had felt so different from being in Nick’s arms, arms she knew so well.  It confused her.  What was she thinking?  These two men were like brothers to her.  She had always loved Nick and was coming to love Heath more and more on a daily basis.  He inspired love and loyalty, as he gave it so freely.  He was a wonderful man.  There was no doubt.  Obviously she had found him attractive from their first meeting.  He had those incredible eyes.   Still, she could not shake the sense of dread.  It was wrong to have these kinds of feelings.  She vowed to shove them down, deep in her heart.  She had convinced herself enough to drop off finally to sleep.

Heath had begun the night in quiet, deep slumber.  He felt confident that he had set his brother on the road to marital bliss.  He figured it would not be long before they expressed their love and then married.  He wondered if they would credit him for their happiness?  These thoughts comforted him as he drifted off to sleep.  It was the dream that now kept him awake.  What kind of a brother was he?  He spent his day, planning to join the pair and his night, dreaming about his own joining with her.  The dream had been so vivid.  He saw the whole event.  He had seen their whole lives play out.  They had married, made love, raised a family and grown old together.  It wasn’t his dream.  It was his brother’s.  He disavowed it.  He rose from the bed, splashed some water on his face and started downstairs.

He was drawn to the light.  He knocked quietly at the door and slowly entered.  If anyone had fallen asleep on the settee, he did not want to wake him or her.  As his eyes adjusted to the lights in the room, he saw Liam standing at the fireplace, deep in thought.

Heath did not know, that Liam had also not been able to sleep.  He had tossed and turned, worried for his daughter and the Barkley’s.  The fleeting look on his daughter’s face while she was in Heath’s arms sent warnings through out his body.  It had matched the look in her eye on previous occasions.  He had always dreamed of seeing his beloved daughter marry a Barkley son.  It was a dream secretly shared by both sets of parents.  They had all assumed it would be Nick.  What he feared was worse.  He saw it in both their eyes.  He was not psychic, but anyone who was looking for it would see that there was trouble coming between the three. 

He prayed for a solution as he gazed unaware into the fire.  This family he loved had seen enough pain to last ten lifetimes and what father could wish for his daughter the pain of a divided heart.  He knew the only solution was to deny them all.   He would not act rashly, but at the first confirmation of his suspicions, he would take his daughter and leave.  She would hate him.  But he knew she would leave with him.  They would see the Orient.  She would eventually come to like that.  He would do what he had to, to spare them all. 

It was these thoughts on which Heath intruded.  He coughed and Liam turned and acknowledged him.  Heath indicated the liquor cart.  Liam nodded and Heath poured them both a drink.  He had not spent any time alone with Liam.  Deep down Heath had been bothered by the quizzical look Liam had given him upon arrival.  He had neither done nor said anything out of line since, but it still left him a bit wary. 

“A restless night abounds for us” began Liam.

“Yeah, I thought maybe this might help settle me down,” Heath added, indicating his drink.

Liam had had no intention of saying what he did, but it came tumbling out nonetheless.

“I knew about what had happened in Strawberry.  I’m sorry.”

Heath was blown away by this confession.  He hadn’t expected it at all.  He wasn’t even sure what to say.  It was Liam that continued.

“Your father told me when he returned.  He had to tell someone.  He felt so guilty, like he had let everyone down, both Victoria and your mother.”  “I was naïve.  I told him to forget about it.  I can only hope some day you and God might forgive me for my involvement.  I wish I could go back and tell him to check.”

Heath was still stunned.  The words that began to flow surprised him.  He had no idea he would share them with another human, much less one he had known very shortly and until now been suspicious of.

“Although now and again, I wish things had been different.  I believe we all walk the path we are supposed to in life.  Things happen for a reason.  We don’t necessarily know why, but we have to accept that our journey shapes us.  I can’t change the past; only shape my future.  I don’t hold your silence against you.”

“I don’t deserve that, but thank you.”  He paused a moment and then continued.  “You are so like him.  It unnerved me at first.  I grew up with Tom.  I saw you and thought he had come back to us. You’re a gift to this family Heath.  I only wish Tom could have known you in person.  He would be so proud.”

“What did you mean by know me in person?” a perplexed Heath asked. 

“He is watchin’ you now.  He is proud son.  Very proud, for what it’s worth.”

Heath’s silence indicated to Liam, that Heath had not resolved all the issues with his life.  He knew he was entitled to the doubt.  Liam smiled to himself.  Tom’s youngest son was something special. 

Heath broke the silence.  “Well, dawn won’t come any later, I reckon I better try to get some sleep before the rooster starts crowing.   Good night.”

“Good night Heath.  Thanks for listening.”

The conversation with Liam had been good for Heath, if only for the distraction of thoughts it provided.  He returned to his room and was able to drift into a less then perfect, but better then nothing, sleep.

At breakfast the next morning, there was an awkward silence.  Victoria was the first to notice it.  Audra was her usual buoyant self. She was chatting on excitedly about tonight’s dance.  It was the first major event of the holiday season.  All had been looking forward to the evening out.  She knew Jarrod was occupied with trying to resolve his most recent case, but she had no idea why the rest of the men in the room were so unusually somber.  She debated broaching the subject, but in no time the boys had finished.  They each in turn commented on needing to get the day’s work done in time to prepare for the festivities.  Victoria was not the only one at the table to notice Isabel’s return to her animated self after the departure of the boys.  She promised herself she would take her aside later in the day. 

The opportunity to talk to Isabel presented itself sooner then expected.  She found Izzy reading in the parlor after breakfast. 

“What are you reading?”

“Jarrod lent me his newest Twain book.  They are harder to come by in Europe, so I think I am behind.”

“Darling, I don’t want to intrude, but something seems to be bothering you, would you like to talk?”

She looked at the woman who was as much a mother as anything else to her and smiled.  “Do you think that I will ever grow to be as wise as you mum?”  Mother had never been the right term, but mum had always seemed perfect.  She enjoyed owning this special endearment with Victoria, who she knew, loved her like one of her own children. 

“I don’t know that it is so much wisdom, or a good pair of eyes.  You’re not joining the boys today?  Did you have an argument?”

“No, nothing like that.  I don’t know.  I was confused inside.”

“About what?”  Victoria asked, but feared she already knew the answer.

“I suppose its nothing, maybe just overwhelming to be back.  I think I just assumed life would be the same as before I left.  That was silly.  I just spent last evening telling Nick to treat me differently, and yet I wanted all to be the same.  It was silly really.”

“And Heath?  How does Heath fit?”

“That’s my point.  We all have to learn how we fit together.” 

Victoria could avoid the question no longer.  She decided the only way to help the girl, and her sons, was to bring it out.  “Do you love either one?”

Isabel laughed.  “Heavens, it surprised me that I would come to love Heath so quickly, but of course, I love them both.  For a brief moment last night, I thought maybe I had other feelings for them, but that would be so hard.”

It was Victoria’s turn to be surprised.  Isabel’s response was not one of a woman “in” love with two men.  It was a woman who loved two men.  Her face betrayed her thoughts and Isabel read them clearly.

“Oh no Mum, it’s not like that.  I mean, well, no.”  She paused to gather her words.  “Mum, I have spent the last six years seeing the world and all it has to offer.  I have no desire to settle down and be married, at least not yet.  I want to see what I can do with my life for a while.  I know that must sound silly.  I think I was caught in temporary insanity for a moment.  I’m better now.”  She grew silent.  Had Nick misinterpreted her words on the previous night?

Victoria smiled at the woman before her with pride.  She believed her.  She silently promised herself to watch Nick and Heath closely.  If she sensed they were interested in more, she would talk to them, but for now, she would let the situation develop as it would.  Or perhaps, Isabel was now woman enough to handle it herself?

Liam had overheard their conversation.  As he had so many times in his daughter’s life, he silently thanked Victoria for being there.  He was not sure how he would have raised his daughter alone.  So, he had either over reacted, or under estimated his daughter.  She was back in control and not ready to link her destiny with any Barkley brother.  He was thankful.  He still suspected that the triangle would occur, but he relied on the fact that time would help them all handle it better.  He hoped.  He also wondered which brother would eventually win his daughter’s hand.  Perhaps he should work on manipulating Jarrod?  He was perhaps a bit too old, but still, a good match.  He groaned at his own thoughts.  He still had the Orient.  It was looking better by the day.

As if he had read his mind, Jarrod entered the front door.  Victoria heard his entry and moved from her spot at Isabel’s side. 

“Jarrod, you’re home early.”  She nodded to Liam.  She decided he must have been listening.  She knew he shared her concerns.

“I finished early and decided that I was due a bit of quality time with the lovely Isabel, if she was so inclined.”  He finished and nodded in her direction.

“I have been waiting for you to ask.”

“I thought perhaps a picnic over at your old place.  I know you enjoy it there.  It is a bit cold, but we could build a fire.  I still need to hear all the adventures from your travels that you have been filling Nick and Heath with.  I can’t have my little brother’s knowing more then me.” 

She laughed and left to change.   

Later that evening, everyone had assembled in the foyer, waiting on Audra and Isabel.  The two near sisters were laughing and deliriously enjoying the preparation and anticipation of the evening’s events.  Victoria had wanted to throw the Winthrop’s a welcome home party, but they both had rejected the idea.  The holidays were hectic enough; neither wanted a fuss made over their return.

None of the men gathered below, save Liam, was prepared for the vision that descended the stairs that evening.  Audra had come down first and warned them, but it had not prepared them.  As Isabel floated down the stairs, they each in turn, held their breath.  She was dressed in a fine green silk dress that fit her to perfection and highlighted her near perfect body and large green eyes.  At her neck, was a simple, yet tasteful strand of emeralds.  Her hair hung long and curly down her back.  The front pulled back in combs of pure ivory and more emeralds.  It was Heath who shattered the moment.

“Boy Howdy if we aren’t in the company of the loveliest ladies in Stockton.  Maybe all of California.”

The others nodded their agreement and the women thanked them in turn.  After wraps were applied, the three women were escorted to the waiting carriage.  Nick helped his mother to the front seat and climbed in next to her.  Jarrod helped Audra in and followed her and Heath assisted Isabel into the third seat and sat next to her.  Liam had mounted his horse and moved next to the carriage. 

During the ride, Heath could not help but star at the curls which framed Izzy’s face.  He couldn’t stop himself from asking. 

“You must have spent all day getting those curls Isabel.” 

Both she and Audra laughed.  “No, actually, I spend most of a day getting rid of them.”

“You don’t say, why?”

“My hair is naturally curly.  All I have to do is wash it and this is the result.”

Heath did not understand why she would spend the time straightening it, and he asked her why.

“When I was young, the “proper” woman of the town felt my hair was scandalous.  They felt curly hair was a sign of the devil.  It was easier to just straighten it, then continue to fight the battle.”

Everyone in the buggy laughed.  They all had fond memories of Izzy’s battles over her hair.  Heath was enjoying the thought of her devilish side.  Only Liam did not join in.  The conversation had struck a nerve.  How would Stockton society now accept his daughter, all these years later?  Those damn biddies had made his daughter’s life miserable.  She had no control over her lineage.  He had lavished his daughter with the finest clothes and jewels in an attempt to hid these supposed blemishes.  He knew it would not work here, but no one in Europe had known or cared.  It had been a relaxing time for a father.  Well, as long as you did not find the constant flow of proposals stressful. 

In no time, they had arrived at the Smither’s ranch.  The house was festively lit and decorated to the nines.  As soon as the group entered, they were all moved in different directions.  Audra and Isabel were immediately surrounded by hoards of eager bachelors.  Their dance cards were swiftly filled and before they knew it, they were swept on to the dance floor. 

Liam watched his daughter as his fears were alleviated.  Joy burst from her face.  She was enjoying herself and no father could have resisted a smile.  Perhaps things had changed in Stockton.

The Barkley brother’s were no less attended.  The brother’s were often the most popular present and why not.  They were handsome, wealthy and good-natured.  It was an intoxicating combination.    The entire family was enjoying the evening.

During the evening, Nick had a momentary pause and his eyes sought out Isabel.  He saw her waltzing with the Tomkin’s boy.  She was enjoying herself as evidenced by the huge smile on her face.  It suddenly occurred to him, that she deserved this.  He felt foolish.  She was a young woman who was entitled to dance with and be courted by a variety of men.  He relaxed.  He loved her and always would.  If there was going to be something more, it would either stand the test of time, or fade away.    He was consumed by the desire to dance with her.  He hadn’t so far.  Her card had been filled. 

He approached the couple and tapped the boy on his shoulder.  “May I cut in?”

Despite having waited all night to dance with this vision, he knew better then to deny Nick Barkley, so young Tomkins grudgingly moved aside.  Isabel smiled at Nick.  “I was wondering how long you would wait.”

“Wait for what?” Nick replied.

“To dance with me.  The last time we danced.  I stood on your toes.”  There was a look of love in her eyes.

“You don’t still do that do you?”  The sparkle in his eyes could have lit the room.  They continued to whirl around the room.

Heath watched the two hold each other in dance.  His dream must have been a fluke.  No one could watch them and see anything but them belonging together.  He would bury the dream deep within him.    He was good at this. He had had plenty of opportunities to practice.  She was not for him.

 

A Heart Ignored (6)

 

The holiday season flew by with a flurry of activities.  The young people were oblivious to the scrutiny being given them by their parents.  Liam was growing restless from it all.  Victoria recognized the all too familiar symptoms.  For as much as she kept a watchful eye over the “trio”, she did not want to see the Winthrop's leave.  She understood that Liam had always needed to be traveling, seeing and trying new things.  Isabel had inherited a small part of this wanderlust, but Victoria felt confident, she, unlike her father, would settle in one place.  Her heart had always been with the ranch.   She wondered if Isabel would simply up and leave when next Liam had a whim, or if she was strong enough to defy her father.  Victoria prepared herself for either inevitability.

 

Liam’s present to the family had been time together.  He arranged for an entire floor at the California Inn in San Francisco.  It was a new and very modern hotel.  The staff was impeccable and the rooms had beautiful views of either the growing downtown skyline or the ocean.  Victoria suspected he had planned the trip as a break for himself, but no matter the true intent, she was looking forward to the time with her family.  They would depart on December 29th and return January 2nd. 

 

Nick had at first grumbled about the time away from the ranch, but quickly succumbed to everyone else’s enthusiasm.  Victoria suspected Isabel had done some arm-twisting.  There would be a huge New Year’s Eve celebration for all to enjoy.  There would be shopping and brunches for the women and the gaming tables for the men.  A good time was planned for all.

 

The evening before departure, Jarrod, Victoria, Liam and Audra waited in the parlor for the others to come home.  They exchanged plans for their trip.  It was Jarrod who greeted the missing members of the household first.

 

“Well, if it isn’t the three musketeers finally returned from battling the cardinal.  Let’s hope they are hungry enough to hurry and prepare for dinner after their bold feats of bravado.”

 

Everyone laughed at the new nickname.  It certainly rang true.  The trio was seldom apart.  “I’m sorry we’re late.  It’s my fault.  As we were started back, I began goofing around and made us late.” explained Izzy.  Nick and Heath exchanged a knowing glance.  Victoria knew that Izzy had just lied to cover for something Nick and Heath had actually done, but she said nothing.  They had become inseparable.  She knew eventually she would find out what had truly transpired to make them late.   She shooed them off to clean up and join them.

 

As they waited, Victoria lost herself in thought.  She had decided that she had worried too soon.  The “musketeers” seemed to be forming a bond of friendship and sibling affection.  Things seemed to be settling in nicely.  Perhaps it was time to relax and enjoy their happiness.  There seemed to be no apparent trauma on the horizon. 

 

****

 

The trip had turned out to be everything they had all hoped for.  There seemed no end to the entertainment provided both by themselves and the city.  All were relaxed and anticipating the gala event that evening.

 

As they had become accustom to during the holiday season, the men dressed in their finest evening wear and were waiting in the lobby for the women to arrive.  This evening was no exception, but proved to be worth the wait, as the three women appeared at the top of the stairs.  They were all visions.  Victoria was positively regal in her vivid purple gown.  Audra illuminated the lobby with her presence and Nick thought to himself, Isabel radiated above them all.  This would be a special night.  Heath had secretly echoed Nick’s thoughts.  Although it had not been the intention, all eyes turned to the women as they came down the stairs and greeted the men. 

 

“Tonight Heath, ya hear me.  No excuses!  You owe her.”  Nick had turned to Heath to deliver the command.  Jarrod sought clarification.  “Just what must our little brother do tonight Nick?  Anything I will have to bail him out of tomorrow?”

 

“No.  Did you know, that in all the parties we have attended, he hasn’t danced even once with Izzy?  I told him he had better tonight, or she was going be offended.  He should start the new year off right.”

 

“Well good luck to you little brother, I know from experience she is a lovely dancer and her card fills fast.”

 

Heath nodded and gave his brothers half a smile.  It was not the first time Nick had been on his case about this.  It had happened after each event.  He had avoided dancing with her each time.  He could not explain why, to himself or them.  He just knew; he could not dance with her.  Despite Nick’s ribbing, he would once again, avoid this particular partner.

 

Heath had successfully avoided the dance all evening.  It was close to midnight.  He knew he would not stay at the gala much longer.  He planned to saunter across the street to the saloon.   He saw Nick approach and tried to turn and avoid him, but could not go quickly enough and he felt Nick’s hand on his arm. 

 

“Oh no you don’t.  You just tried to ditch me didn’t you?”  Nick scowled. “Jeez Heath, its just a dance.  What is the big deal?”

 

“Boy Howdy Nick, I just don’t understand why this is such a big deal for you. There are a lot of women in this room I haven’t danced with.  I don’t see you forcing me into their arms.”  Heath knew his tone had sounded harsher then necessary.  He needed to kill time. Nick ignored the tone and

took his arm and to direct him across the room to where Izzy had just finished a dance with her father.  Nick bowed deeply and began his spiel.

 

“Pardon me mademoiselle, my brother saw you from afar and desires a dance.  Alas, he is too shy to ask himself.  Would thou be so kind as to grant the poor man a dance at this time?”  Nick was having fun.

 

Liam cringed.  Isabel laughed and extended her arm to Heath and smiled brightly.  “If the gentleman truly wishes a dance, I would be a fool to deny him.”

 

Heath would later come to hold that moment as one of the most special of his life.  He took her hand in his and felt his world collide.  In that one instant, he felt a sensation he could have never described.  He looked into her eyes and knew she felt it as well.  Liam saw the look and knew it was all over.

 

He moved her closer to him, assuming the dancing pose.  Her eyes never left his.  He was not sure anyone else in the world existed.  He held that precious feeling for a few fleeting seconds, until he felt a familiar hand on his shoulder.

 

“Looks like you lost out again Brother.”  It was Nick.  The music had stopped and a countdown begun.  “I believe I win the ladies hand for midnight, and the New Year’s kiss.  Tough timing.  You shouldn’t have waited so long.”

 

Liam was agonizing more and more inside and did his utmost to control his panic at witnessing the scene before him.  He fully expected Heath to hold on to her, not relent, but he didn’t.  Heath stepped aside.

 

Nick took Isabel’s hands in his as he turned to face her.  The director was just calling out the seconds and the crowd was counting down.

 

Five….  Liam held his breath.

 

Four….   Heath’s mind and heart were spinning.

 

Three….   Isabel was dazed and overwhelmed, yet the smile never left her face.

 

Two….  Nick was confident.  He had been planning this moment for weeks.

 

One!

 

“Happy New Year Izzy!”  And he took her chin lightly in his hand and bent down to kiss her.  It was not a kiss on the forehead or cheek, but full on her lips.  It was a kiss of introduction, man meets woman.  It would not have been considered improper for two people courting.

 

Izzy had been quietly taking in the whole exchange.  There was no use fighting it.  She had felt something with Heath.  She wondered what it was.  And then there was Nick, and had she heard him right?  He intended to, no, he was kissing her.  She made no move to stop him.  She accepted it.  His hand was gentle and loving on her chin.  The whole experience surprised her.  This was not a kiss she expected from Nick.  His lips were soft and warm against hers.  It tingled.    She found herself kissing him back, and everyone could see it.  They had just unofficially announced themselves a couple.

 

The rest of the family gathered and all hugged and kissed and congratulated each other and wished all a Happy New Year.  Victoria had seen the kiss.  She could not help but smile.  Every mother wanted her children to be happy.  There was a storm perhaps growing, but for now, she was happy for these two children she loved so well.  An outsider looking on; would have seen nothing but a happy family.

 

Heath watched the couple and convinced himself that nothing had happened.  He had not felt anything different about her.  It was the drink and the heat of the room and the anticipation.  He told himself he was happy for his brother and Isabel.  He knew he loved and was loved by his brother.  He never doubted that.  He knew also, that he had brought his brother and family pain when he arrived.  He had destroyed a part of Nick's life.  He would never do that to him again.  It did not matter that he would have to bury these feelings deep within him.  It was not the first time.  He could do it again.

 

Liam watched the kiss and began planning the itinerary.  It would again be a long night.