I, Fixer
I'm a fixer. I'm not a glorified fucking concierge. I don't get people things. I don't hook them up with mutually interested people and wish them the best. I fix problems. I am well-paid for what I do, because my business it to provide results. I know it sounds cliché. To be honest, most of my life is a cliché. Corrupt politicians? Check. Back room deals? Check. Undoing things that have already happened? You bet. So the fuck what?
Everyone has their price. For most people, naturally, it's money. But when fixing someone's usually earth-shattering problem, it is incumbent upon me to understand the variables and account for them. Some people want favors owed to them. Some people just want little things taken care of � little in the grand scheme, but for many of them, they are the culmination of a life's work, a life of service, or sometimes, the steps necessary to keep a life from coming to a premature end.
A lot of people just want to feel like they're juiced into the action. They provide some information, keeping everything me in mind whenever they hear anything that may be, and occasionally is, important. So you have to keep them in line, making them feel appreciated for providing you with the same information that a dozen other people have already told you about. You keep them happy, and make them feel important. It is, frankly, a lot like running spies. You have to keep them in line, and more often than not they will give up everything they know just because they want to tell someone.
And you have to keep them in line. The best way to do that is to ensure the promise of something good happening to them. To paraphrase a political cartoonist, you don't need an actual prize to motivate people — the promise alone is sufficient in almost all cases. More importantly, this is the most important way business gets done; how problems get fixed. Most problems, as bad as they are, are often only one phone call or visit away from being resolved or otherwise mitigated. People will do favors for friends and those they care for, not necessarily like family, but insofar as they are concerned for someone's welfare. It may sound cold, but playing on people's personal concerns is how 90% of business gets done.
You never do anything illegal. Let me repeat that. You never do anything illegal. You can stretch the definition of the law until it's straining and threads are coming loose from it, but (with great rarity) you never break the law. Why the fuck do you think that most fixers are lawyers? That's what we do for a living. More important to most people, like ourselves, we know the plays; we know the players. It's also not so much that you become a lawyer to become a fixer. No one grows up saying, "I want to do this for a living." But the people who take this on are the alpha personalities who go to law school or graduate business school (or both. Watch out for those fucks. They are not to be trusted, ever.) anyway.
How the business works is pretty simple: Someone asks you to fix something. In most cases, "someone" is your boss. Most non-lawyer fixers work for people, taking some random job in the firm or agency or whatever, and that's all they do. Someone may also be an acquaintance of your boss or friend or whom ever it is you're fixing for. Fixers who are lawyers have the ultimate out: The person they serve is a client. That makes moving money so much easier for when that becomes an issue.
Once you get a job, you take into consideration the circumstances and variables, and come up with a solution. Instant recall of who knows what, or who can do what is critical. God bless technology for making this so much easier. The act of fixing is quite simple. In 90% of cases, you make a phone call. People are eager to help, for the aforementioned reasons. Sometimes money gets involved, but it's usually not much and often times not as much as you might expect. Most of them times, it means doing a favor for them later.
The other 10% of the time, it takes personal contact with people in a position to solve a problem, or rarely, it means having to do work yourself. Most of the time, the actual work gets done by other people. This is often why it's so useful to have a fixer with a law degree. But really, it just requires someone smart enough and dedicated enough to get the job done correctly and as quickly and quietly as possible. And when the job is done, that is it. You don't ever talk about anything you do with anyone unless they're involved. You say "thank you" � with a note, or less formally, an e-mail � and make them feel important. And you always honor every promise you make and marker you give out.
One thing that often gets asked is, what about truly independent fixers? Well, surprisingly enough they are few and far between. The most common reason is, quite frankly, because they aren't much of a necessity. Even when business involves dealing with enemies, most people are quite civil. Relying on dealing with subordinates like one's self often puts enough layers between whatever hostility exists that it can be dealt with, or quite honestly, ignored. That's the funny thing about our bosses or clients. When they have to be, they can be quite compartmentalized. Political differences abound, but at the end of the day two men will sit down and have drinks and resolve most of their problems without incident, and without us.
Independent fixers are dangerous, though. They are the ones who are likely to get involved in quasi-legal or illegal activities; the ones who walk out of a meeting with a paper bag full of cash. The other thing about them is that they don't have any leverage to push based on who they work for because they can work for anyone and no one. They have to rely on their own personal influence, and since most of the people they deal with are other fixers like myself, that means that they have to be able to do things that we or other fixers we know can't do. This is why the few independent fixers are well connected and quite experienced. They are the fixers for fixers. Seriously. When I say they have to rely on themselves, that's the main way they can: When one of us fucks up, we call one of them. And we pay dearly for their help.
If you are an agent, an operative, a criminal — for those who deal with the street fixer or indie who does deal in that — you must understand one simple truth: You work for fixers.
You are an asset, and they will be your friend to your face, but behind your back you are nothing. You are disposable. They will forget you in a second. And if you put them in harm's way, then you are a problem that they will "fix" using people just like you. You think I am kidding? I am not. They will fuck you, and you will regret ever having done business with them. They are respected, and more importantly politicians, cops, and society at large protect them from on high. You get hurt. They get paid. It's not fair, but that's how business works. If you think for one second that they are working for you, or on your behalf, then you are fucking delusional and sooner or later reality will cold-cock your stupid ass when you're not looking.