June 30, 2006
Life gets harder to live with as the days go by. Last night, i spoke with a friend and she was overflowing with happiness. I kept pushing away my cynical self, and pray that she will continue to enjoy her life and her lover.
There is a dearth of happy endings, and nothing amazes me more than to see old couples holding hands and looking at each other as though they were in the first bloom of loving. I am filled with envy, and the knowledge that I cannot have that just wrings my heart into tight knots of longing for a cessation of all things for me.
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