"Dear Yahoo! GeoCities,
I am not satisfied with your web-hosting service. Hosting my pages on Yahoo! GeoCities was intended to make me a popular and influential individual on the Internet. Since this has not happened, I am imploring you to either improve your service, or I will be forced to shut down Yahoo! GeoCities.
Respectfully,
crispywafer"
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"Dear Mr. Wafer,
We are sorry for the inconvenience our service has caused you. However, we can provide a refund which, as a member of our free service, comes to a total of $0.00. Again, we apologize for any problems that hosting your pages at Yahoo! GeoCities may have inadvertently caused.
Sincerely,
Yahoo! GeoCities"
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"Dear Yahoo! GeoCities,
I appreciate your efforts to provide me a refund. However, Yahoo! GeoCities is still unable or unwilling to make me both popular and influential on the Internet. This is unacceptable. Once again, my terms are this: Either you upgrade your site for the express purpose of making me the most popular and influential person on the Internet, or I will be forced to shut down Yahoo! GeoCities.
Thank you,
crispywafer"
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"Dear Mr. Wafer,
We at Yahoo! GeoCities are always looking for ways to improve our customer experience on the Internet. We are sorry that we are unable to comply with your latest request at this time. There are currently no plans to implement a program such as the one you have described. We wish you the best of luck in your endeavor to "shut down Yahoo! GeoCities."
Sincerely,
Yahoo! GeoCities"
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"Dear Yahoo! GeoCities,
Unfortunately, your lack of understanding and/or motivation to address your service's lack of success at making me a popular and influential individual on the Internet has left me no alternative but to remove my support and protection at this time. It is with a sense of great sadness that I must turn my back on a service which once held so much potential for making me the most influential and popular person on the Internet.
Also, though I may now be forced to rely upon the relatively inexperienced new-comers MySpace and Facebook (whose development I have also been fostering), I am confident that, once complete, these will be sufficient to secure my lasting popularity and influence on the Internet.
Good-bye to you, Yahoo! GeoCities,
crispywafer"
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"Dear Current Yahoo! GeoCities Customer,
After careful consideration, we have decided to close GeoCities.
Sincerely,
Yahoo! GeoCities"
FNORD!