USA: Beware the Canadian Invasion!
          It seems odd for two countries which so often boast of having such a long record of peace, but it seems that the United States and Canada have had quite alot of fun over the years dreaming about attacking each other. There could be any number of reasons for this. If I were to make a guess I would say alot of it, on the US side comes down to the fact that while the United States revolted and broke away violently from Great Britain, Canada remained loyal and gained independence slowly and peacefully, keeping strong ties with the "Mother Country" until fairly recently. As a result, America has always been a little annoyed by Canada being seen by the rest of the English-speaking world as the "good" North Americans. On the Canadian side it might have something to do with the fact that the United States has invaded Canada a few times and American arrogance was particularly hard felt in the War of 1812 when American politicians boasted that the Kentucky militia alone could conquer Canada and that the US was so obviously superior that Canadians would welcome the invasion with open arms.
          The United States would also have reason to be a little annoyed that every effort they made to conquer Canada has ended in failure. During the American Revolution the future United States invaded Quebec only to be defeated by Sir Guy Carleton and the Canadian winter. In the War of 1812 it was Sir Isaac Brock who saved the day, defeating American armies which had him vastly outnumbered. In the aftermath of the American Civil War there was also the so-called "Fenian Raids" which were an effort by Irish veterans of the US Army to invade Canada and hold the country hostage in order to force Britain to give up Ireland. The Canadian militia had little trouble defeating these supposedly hardened veterans and yet, the United States has never taken Canada seriously as a major power; which might also be a reason for Canadian dreams of "getting back" at the USA.
          Believe it or not, Canada actually had a plan to invade the United States before World War II.  Brigadier General James "Buster" Brown was the Canadian officer behind "Defence Scheme No.1" in 1921. Brown was Director of Military Operations and Intelligence and devised a plan for an invasion of the United States *if* the United States ever attacked Canada (which, incidentally the US had a plan to do in the event of war between the USA and the British Empire -Plan Red). Brown and some of his officers went on an under-cover spy mission in the northern US to determine points of attack. The "scheme" called for Canadian troops to attack Seattle, Great Falls, Minneapolis and Albany. This would hopefully give the Canadians a head-start and enable them to fight defensively with a somewhat "scorched earth" policy back into their own country. Some Canadian leaders actually thought the plan might have worked, but of course no conflict ever came about and the idea was scrapped in 1928 when there was less of a chance of conflict between the US and the British Commonwealth.
          Since then, despite all the peace and friendship, it seems that both countries still enjoy playing with the idea of a Canadian-American War. Such a conflict has been featured in numerous works of fiction, probably the best known being controversial American filmmaker Michael Moore's movie "Canadian Bacon" which dealt with a phony Cold War between the US and Canada that almost went nuclear, poking fun at the stereotypes both countries have toward each other. The film's tagline was "Surrender pronto, or we'll bomb Toronto". The very crude US animated film "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut" also portrayed a war between the US and Canada in which the Canadian Air Force launches a surprise attack on the US by bombing the Bladwin brothers. The United States responded by putting all Canadians in the USA in concentration camps, mocking the actions taken against Japanese-Americans following the bombing of Pearl Harbor. So, it seems it is a subject both nations like to talk about, though it probably would not be so were it not for the fact that Canada and America have been such close friends in recent times. So, watch out America! Who knows when Canada will strike back?!
       WHEN CANADA ATTACKS! 13 Canadian War Aims:

I) Canadian rules football will be enforced across America
II) U.S. healthcare with be socialized
III) "The Star Spangled Banner" will be scrapped as the national anthem and replaced by something more peaceful and inclusive
IV) Saying "uh" instead of "eh" will be punishable by a $50 fine
V) Every Christmas will be white, even if the snow has to be trucked in
VI) All packaging, signs and documents will have to be
written in English, French and Spanish
VII) Elizabeth II will become Queen of America
VIII) The Vice President will become the Prime Minister of
America and the President will be Governor-General
IX) U.S. currency will become multi-colored -er, coloured
X) Americans will be forced to be nice to everyone they
meet, even if they don't really mean it
XI) The last letter of the alphabet will officially be "Zed"
XII) Silverware will be renamed cutlery
XIII) Smarties will replace M&M's by law
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