Losing someone is profoundly painful and distressing. I was psychologically upended. Disbelief was my very first reaction. As if a big and sharp axe ruptured my head, face�my whole body when I heard the tremulous incident. Then as I begin to realize the significance of it, feelings of sadness, grief and despair overwhelmed me. It was a lonely and frightening experience. I was depressed - feeling disappointed, frustrated and hopeless after realizing that the reality cannot be changed. I was blank, numbed, unable to concentrate, ruminating and dreaming about Mom. I want to reverse the situation! I want to bring her back! But it only makes the matter worse. They said that there is no way round grief apart from going through it. Grief over the loss of a loved is a natural process that allows me, the bereaved to mourn my loss and then free myself for life without the departed person. I kept repeating that to myself. And, I even went away from home to recollect myself. But, there is always this empty space in my heart. Accepting the reality of loss. Acknowledging the beloved is dead, and accepting that death cannot be reversed. This task is not for me yet eventhough I am trying so hard to do it. I am still working through my emotional grief and pain. For the very first time, I now admit that I am unbelievably sad about my Mom's death. I just wanted to say it to her in all aspects that I really and will forever love her so dearly.