| DAY 4 |
| DAY 4 I awoke the next morning, my lower torso cryogenically frozen, and my upper torso, swollen wit bug bites. I quickly changed out of my evening apparel, and started breakfast. Well, actually we started a fire before breakfast. Miraculously, a couple of embers actually managed to stay lit throughout the night. (That just shows our camping prowess. Leave a fire unattended during the night. Great job guys.) Most surprising was Mr. Winfield, who not only seemed to approve of our efforts, but applauded them as well. The stoves that we cooked out breakfast on, were neat little contraptions and breakfast kicked ass. It�s kinda weird. The only breakfast that I really enjoyed on the entire trip was the one made by half asleep students, who had almost no cooking experience except for the occasional nuking of a pizza pocket, that was cooked on a tiny fuel burner. After finishing breakfast, we washed our stuff in the river, and broke camp. Looking back on the whole ordeal� Uh, I mean experience, it was a sham. We hiked for one hour in hellish conditions, slept, ate breakfast, and then hiked back! Our packs were considerably lighter, but it was still heavy. Of course everything was planned in advance, so we had the delight of hiking back at 12 noon. Nothing like lugging an 80 LB bag in the hottest part of a humid, muggy, and altogether horrible day. To make matters worse, we lost Mr. Winfield! Eventually, all good thing must come to an end, fortunately this wasn�t a good thing� Damn! OK, back to action. We eventually escaped hell, and finally got back to our cabins and had a brief moment of relaxation. That lasted for about two seconds, and almost immediately, we had to pack up to leave tomorrow. (BooHoo) We broke up into groups, and started to do different jobs, all of them demeaning. After being cooped up in a tiny trailer for copious amounts of time, doing repetitive jobs like counting poles and finding the keys for a bunker full of explosive material. After we changed and prepared for a dip in the pool. The �dip turned out to be a �huge splash�. Honing my cannon balling skills, I practiced a multitude of bombs, and at the same time doused several people including CJ, Dinu, and Charlotte with the waves produced. Nothing like killing three birds with one stone eh? After may brief practice, I decided to don the snorkel and goggles to magically transform into PEVERT MAN! Basically trying to pants the masses, I almost succeeded, but of course there was a small problem. My arch nemesis, the drawstring, managed to hinder my attempts. Bane of my existence! Well, like almost everything I do, there was a backfire to my scheme, unknowingly, Me had been examining my technique, and almost managed to pants me. Luckily utilizing my smarts, wit, and� Oh whatever. My drawstring saved me. After the dip into lake, we went back to the cabins. In anticipation for the nightly repast, we waited patiently. Oh crap! I totally forgot about something! Between swimming and cleaning up the bunks, we were allowed a brief moments respite in the moose room. There, several pointless events occurred. CJ and Franny were having the time of their lives, throwing their hats at each other, trying to catch them on their heads. I was busily playing the Hokey Pokey on that piano, and everyone else was running around trying to steal each other�s pillows. At one point, Kevin, and Shylar found two megaphones and tried to turn them on, this lead to a loud deafening siren that not only startled everyone in the room, but also summoned down a lifeguard who thought we were in trouble. Ok, back in a flash. (Flash) Right. Now where was I? Ah yes. The time between swimming and dinner was probably the most obscene and hilarious hours I�ve spent in a long time. Speckled with anecdotes involving ones female parental unit and of course mills. It all started with Kevin letting out a fart that could only be described as a vile, pungent, tear jerking (bad way), vomit invoking, silent but deadly mist of doom that quickly engulfed the entire room. Not to be undone in the category of utter vileness, this action prompted Mills to follow suit, and sitting in front of the fan released an explosion of gastronomical proportions that prompted Mr. Winfield to open all to doors, risking the hell swarm. |
| That would not be the end of the exploits of our dear friend mills. Attempting to surpass his previous actions, he decided to kick it up a notch. He went into the lavatory, to expel some waste. This would seem natural enough; but then again, we are talking about Mills here. Not only did he manage to drive him out of the bathroom, but also forced the student body to evacuate the building! Deciding that this was too much, I decided to take it upon my own design to rectify the wrongdoing that had occurred. While Mills was still doing his �Thang� I quickly took my rape alarm, held my breath, and turned it on, screaming �FIRE FIRE!� This prompted Mills to rush out of the lavatory, and burst out of the cabin. An entourage of about 20 or so people met the scene with a round of applause. For dinner we had fish sticks. You would think that after a couple of days, the chefs would know to make more food, but of course, they ran out. It�s really annoying when the cooks do something right, but it runs out, and you have to finish a meal on soggy broccoli. Finally, it was time for showers! Since I didn�t feel rushed, I decided to take mine last. Huge mistake. Somehow, just before I was to finally shower, no longer being rushed by others. Derek managed to tear off the showerhead with his brute strength, resulting in an emergency to repair the broken line. It got fixed, but then just before it was my turn the water began to get really hot as I started, and managed to turn my shoulder a bright crimson (Hee hee, crimson.). I then found out that in order to finish my shower, I had to shower in the girl�s dorm! (Rowr) After the showers, we all piled into the girl�s dorm, and gave out imaginary awards. Some winners were the PFD award to Chris due to his inability to swim, My cannon balling award, CJ with his gullible award, and the replacement Mo award to Mu. When we went to the dorms we had a huge pillow fight. Of course there was the highly predictable Franny beatdown of CJ, but also a Mills VS everyone else. Surprisingly, not only did Mills manage to survive the onslaught, but went Xena all over on Phil's ass. This was not to be the end of CJ�s torment. Chris decided to hide in CJ�s sheets (hide my ass) and as predicted, CJ got the crap scared out of him. I think I went deaf for about 3 minutes after the event. It might not be too obvious, but CJ screams like a girl. Well, since I�m pressured by Mu to tell this portion of the story, I�ll tell it, but just for the record, I didn�t like it at all. So, had been trying really hard to kick Mu in the Balls, and I mean really hard, but there was always something in the way. He had thwarted my earlier attempts, but this time I was really close. My foot reached within one inch of its target, when all of a sudden, Mr. Winfield appears out of nowhere, and sticks a bat in my way! Of all people! It had to be a teacher! Isn�t there a law about teacher neutrality of something?! Needless to say, It hurt like a bitch. After that incident, we all decided to get some shuteye. Well, it was actually supposed to be the final Mills: Live at the Acropolis, but everyone was dead tired, so we all democratically decided to get some shut eye. QUESTIONABLE QUOTES AND OTHER SHIT -Toe: (Totally distorting canto-pop lyrics �I am cloud, you wind. Blow me� Hero of the morning hour-Large Chef Guy on ATV: Brought water -Francis: Fiddling with crotch buckles �what is this? Mr. Winfield: �What? You never was it before?� -Mills: �Oh my god man, Mills gotta go!� -Mills: (IN THE BATHROOM) �DAH DAH DAH DOO DOO DA� -Mills: �ARRRRRG!� James: �Don�t force it! You�ll blow your O-ring!� -Mrs. G: �What are you guys doing? Are you packing?� Phil: �No, Mills is taking a shit!� Terminology MOM-Nickname for mills. Referring to parental and feminine nature of guy MOM COCK-Nuff said. -Andrew: �He�s so fine, He�s so fine, He�s so fine he blows my mind!� (Referring to Dan the lifeguard) Fastest sprinter-Mills. Impervious to pain award-Shylar survived scarring burn and brutal attack on burn. Interesting-Last supper occurs on a Monday� Hmm blasted religious types messing with minds. Crowning Achievement-Toe and Mu beat Sabreen and Hanifah to the finish in the canoe Special achievement-CJ, even with mills holding him back manages to finish in top 5 Interesting encounter-Mu manages to step in a pile of Moose Shit. |