Author's Note: The following is dedicated to all SB members, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for staying with the forum when you could have just as easily left forever, and to Umi-chan, owner of my soul and half of my sanity, never change.
[Written on December 18th of 2004]
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�Let�s Make a Deal�
An SB Story
Mary Hunt whistled a merry tune to herself as she raised her gaze away from the area of her desk, so neatly arranged it was, photographs of her family (a loving husband, twin daughters and a large Golden Retriever) positioned just so, that her fellow coworkers and those above her rank could view them and make comment, something Mary secretly loved boosting of whenever there was opportunity. The rest of her desk was the average set-up one would need to properly work the job she had been hired for some ten years ago, and that was a secretary, she took great pride in her occupation, never thinking it was something other may have looked down upon until now.
The women standing (no, looming) in front of her made it blatantly obvious they considered her standing in the company ladder below their notice, and so it was with a degree of strained patience they seemed to deal with Mary. The secretary found their presence odd and a little disconcerting; it had nothing to do with their appearance as both were dressed neatly in professional yet comfortable business attire, but more with how the pair has approached her desk more than anything.
Mary�s desk was located just beyond the main hallway of elevators that so many employees, business partners, and such used every day, and as one of Mary�s hobbies happened to be people watching, she had seen a great many variety of people exit and enter the elevators, each with their routine or habits, the women smiling at her broadly had no such habits, they had vacated the elevator nearly attached at the hip, and while they had waited for Mary to take note of their arrival, comments had been shared between the pair and it was clear by the number of times one of the women had snickered, they found themselves amused.
There was also a look in their eyes Mary was not sure she liked, in fact, when she�d first look up to tell the pair to take a seat and she�d be right with them, a chill had gone down her spine when she had met each woman�s eyes, it was as if inwardly both wanted to dismiss this polite and normal behavior and either run screaming back towards the hallway of elevators or pull a machinegun out and slaughter everyone around them, Mary had thought herself rather disturbed at the sudden appearance of these thoughts, but could not, for the life of her, shake them off.
The pair had seated themselves quickly, but after a few moments and hot whispers traded between them; they had abruptly stood up and taken up residence in the front of Mary�s desk, thinking quietly to herself that maybe the pair had been on television once, as they looked a tad familiar. Her voice came out a little more shaky than she expected, her boss had never had business partners or clients such as these before and she wasn�t used to hiding her emotions much. �Is there a problem? Mr. Kent is in a board meeting at the moment and will available as soon as is possible, Ms�?�
Both women were of the same height and though their body types were different, they had the same manner about them, one had light gray eyes and very dark brown hair, with a somewhat tan skin tone, the other hazel eyes, medium brown hair and pale skin, it was the second of these that spoke first, after her eyes flickered to her companion in a echo of a silent message.
�Xizos, Rydia Xizos. This is my partner in crim-er, company proceedings, Suzumi Takahashi, please do not call her Suzu, you will regret in the end, isn�t that right, Suzu-chan?� Rydia said brightly, the smile she�d donned when it became apparent she had to speak, strained at the edges. Suzu (-chan?) nodded, her expression pleasant, then returned to eyeing Mary closely, as if she would make a mental connection any minute and try to bolt and run from the pair.
�I see; would you mind telling which company you are representing today?� Mary didn�t dare try addressing either of them, as both of their names sounded too strange, and the fact Rydia had called her companion Suzu after she had advised against stuck the secretary as contradictive, like telling a stranger not to poke a bear and then doing so yourself.
To her surprise, Suzumi presented the business card to Mary instead, using both hands and held onto the card very tightly, so firm that when the woman let go, Mary left out a small yelp as one of the papered edges cut the inside of her hand. She held back an accusation as she heard a low snicker but when she looked back, the pair looked suitably apologetic and even offered a handkerchief to bandage the wound, as she lowered her head to tie the cloth, Rydia and Suzumi exchanged an evil smile, first blood had been drawn, perhaps unwillingly but it was to be the first of many.
When Mary felt she had the cut under control, she examined the business card, they apparently worked for a company by the name of SB Inc. though the secretary had never before heard of it so she assumed it must have been a relatively new company, the card also listed both of their names along with the name of their employer, the phone number of said business but oddly enough, it did not say what the company produced or where SB Inc. was located.
A nagging doubt began to make itself present in Mary�s mind, perhaps this was a not a �legitimate� company and the pair was trying to scam the company she worked for out of money, it would not have been the first time, however she did not speak these thoughts out loud, she wasn�t often wrong in these hunches but one never knew.
�Do you have an appointment?� Suzumi visibly flinched, a tic pulsing near the woman�s forehead, Rydia patted her companion�s shoulder and nodded silently to Mary, telling her the time they were to be expected inside her boss� office, after checking, the secretary found this to be true and could find no reason to deny them entry past her but still her gut feeling told her something was not right, distracted Mary explained that though she was sure their business meeting was important, the weekly board meeting took precedence no matter how long it ended up running.
Even Rydia seemed to react negatively to this news, and after a moment of thought, put an arm around Suzumi�s shoulders and herded her into a corner so the pair could talk quietly amongst themselves, though Mary did not usually eavesdrop, she did minutely move her rolling chair over towards the corner they were situated in to see if she could over hear a bit of the conversation, citing the fact they were unusual characters as her reason to invade their privacy.
She only caught a few words, but even those only clinched the fact the two were up to wrong doing, and just as she was about to press the button on the far left of her desk floor that would summon forth security guards and inevitably policeman, something cold and solid pressed itself against her throat, and as Mary turned her head, she stared openly at the expression of absolute glee on Suzumi�s face as she leveled what appeared to be a thick stick with barbed wire wrapped fully around it at her throat, obviously longing to finish what she had started with the rather bad paper cut on Mary�s hand.
Rydia had disappeared for the moment, but shortly returned dragging a large cart covered with a tablecloth behind her, she didn�t even pause to glance at the secretary�s dilemma and in fact, drew one of her hands across her throat, one finger outstretched to signify a universal message, get rid of the bitch.
The last thing Mary Hunt recalled before her body was turned into an anti-stress instrument was Suzumi�s mocking laughter and the squeaking of the metal wheels of the cart as Rydia pushed it beyond her.
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�Note to self, the next time we play sane to enter a building like this, drop the act as soon as we�re inside, having to stand there and deal with that secretary�s bullshit was more than I can take,� Suzu said plainly, delivering one last kick to said woman�s dead body (or what used to be a body) before going to join Rydia, who had uncovered the cart and was currently looking for an item on the cart�s bottom.
�Agreed, the way she watched us from the elevator was more than enough reason to kill her on sight, however I think our biggest problem at this point is how to make our entrance into their precious board meeting. We could go for flashy, smoke bombs and sparklers maybe?� Rydia suggested grinning, holding up a box of the mild fireworks pointedly.
�No, we did that last time, too many potential test subjects disappeared in the confusion,� Suzu replied, though her main complaint about the idea didn�t seem that major of a loss for their cause considering the dismissal tone of her voice. Rydia sighed lightly before putting the fireworks back into their previous position in the far corner of the cart bottom; she had been eager to play with some type of fire the last few days, but these business trips of theirs made it near to impossible.
The business card they had given the secretary had not been doctored in any way, there was indeed a company called SB Inc., and they had just come until new management, per the Screaming Banshee�s hostile and rather bloody takeover, some key elements had been kept though, such as the main company president and the foreign representatives who had been overseas at the time of the takeover, the latter especially because they didn�t care who ran the company as long as they got their paychecks, and SB needed that kind of brought loyalty.
It had been deliberated once the Screaming Banshee�s members had gathered, that if Wuffer�s Tea had succeeded so well in just one message board online, what would happen if they were able to mass manufacture the beverage and sell it to the unsuspecting masses of the world, considering how addicted those of SB were, they stood to make an infinite amount of capital.
So had begun the storming of all the major companies around the world, Rydia and Suzu had taken the northeast, Blade and Crawler the southwest and HAX had disappeared somewhat between the south and west, no one was especially worried as they were sure he would show up eventually, one couldn�t stay lost in the United States forever, unless you wanted them to but that�s only dependant of a person�s murderous tendencies.
Suzu�s eyes went glassy as she took note of the green cylinder shaped container resting just to the side of the chilled batch of fresh Wuffer�s Tea resting on the top level of the cart, when her gaze met Rydia�s, there were actual tears in Suzu�s eyes before the sometimes assassin for hire glomped her companion tightly then the rocket launcher, rubbing her face against the side of the weapon nearest to her lovingly.
Grinning widely, Rydia took a pile of throwing stars, taking care to put on a thick leather glove beforehand, and her ever so trustworthy Uzi, nodding to her partner in crime, Suzu glomped the rocket launcher one time then fired, holding the weapon steady expertly. The wooden doors someone had painstaking lacquered and decorated exploded inward, pieces of the door and fire heralding the arrival of the pair as they stepped through the smoke, weapons held at ready in case anyone decided to take a risk and try to run for the stairs or elevators just beyond Rydia and Suzu.
Disappointedly, no one thought fleeing would be a good course and instead all of the businessmen seated within the large office stared in curiosity, confusion and other such emotions before the man seated at the head of the table, Mr. Kent, Suzu assumed, stood and tried to say something in protest, as if they hadn�t been interrupted by people who happened to be armed. Of course, Mr. Kent received a rocket up the nether region for his input and as each man turned to regard Suzu in undisguised horror, Rydia gave her companion a thumbs-up and headed just past the ruined doors to retrieve her cart.
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She had just barely started the slideshow presentation when a hand abruptly rose in the now dark room, she couldn�t tell which man had raised his hand but if it was Gerald again, Rydia was quite damn sure what her answer for him was going to be, however when the person stood and walked towards the projector Suzu had opted to run for her, Rydia forgot where she was, what she was doing and perhaps half her identify as she tackled HAX to the floor and glomped him happily.
When Rydia let him stand again, Suzu glomped him once then went back to her task at the projector, which was currently displaying a graph that mapped how addicted one became to Wuffer�s Tea over a certain period of time, the assassin for hire wasn�t sure about her friends but she was positively craving some of the beverage just by looking at the graph.
So far, they had only needed to kill another two businessmen, one by the name of Leo had asked why they couldn�t just steal the batch of Wuffer�s Tea Suzu had created, and mass produce it on their own, the pair�s answer had been nonverbal as the Penguimooooooose had unexpectedly exited the Heero Hole and unknowingly ripped Leo limb from limb before heading further into the building to rack havoc, and as Rydia and Suzu had yet to tame the Penguimooooooose, they let it do as it please.
The second man hadn�t done anything, but he�d sat in his chair really quietly, and as Rydia preferred people who actually made a show of listening to her, even if they were just acting as if they were, it was irritating to not have one fall into the line of the others. His death had been special, Rydia had attempted to give him acupuncture with the throwing stars she had picked up from the cart earlier, as a result; he died within two hours due to extensive blood loss.
HAX watched the proceedings quietly, giving his input occasionally but for the most part, leaving it up to the reliable psychotic hands of Rydia and Suzu, which he should have known better for doing in the first place, for as soon as the batch of Wuffer�s Tea had been served to the businessmen (their overall aim wasn�t so much about getting sponsoring from as many companies as possible as it was about making hopeless addicts out of everyone they could, millionaires, janitors, CEOs, consumers, bums, well you get the idea), upon first sip, all but two businessmen lived to take a second sip, and even then there was only one survivor out of the pair.
All the SB members present stared at the businessman, so far, Wuffer�s Tea had been far too lethal for the average person to drink, and it was a bit of surprise to see one had indeed beat the odds, it was only when Suzu begun poking the man with a stick experimentally that he slumped over and hit his head against the table surface with a hard thwack, indicating that while he hadn�t died, most or all of his brain had been fried making him a vegetable.
Back to the drawing board.
Back?