Buffy blinked once, and then she launched herself into Angel's arms. "You woke up! I knew you would! Oh, I'm so relieved. I was so worried, and then I had to leave the country and oh my goodness it's good to see you conscious again!"
She pulled back to look at him, joyful tears flowing down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here when you woke up," she whispered.
Angel looked at the tiny woman in his arms for a moment. "You must be Buffy."
Her forehead puckered in confusion at the statement. Angel leaned over to whisper in Willow's ear. "That is her, right?"
Buffy released her grip on Angel's neck and backed away uncertainly. "What is going on?" she asked quietly. She noticed that Willow patted Angel's arm reassuringly as she stepped forward to explain.
"Buffy, some...stuff happened while you were gone. Angel woke up-"
"When?"
"A few days ago. He woke up, but, well, he has amnesia."
"You mean he doesn't remember who he is?"
"No, no, he knows who he is. When he woke up, he thought it was 1996. He's only lost three years, but he didn't remember any of us."
Buffy stood motionless as she assimilated what Willow had said. Then she turned to Angel. "So you don't remember me," she said dully, making a statement, not asking a question.
Angel shook his head.
Willow put her arms around Buffy as she began to cry softly. Angel felt terrible for being the cause of her obvious pain, but part of him saw Willow comforting her and marvelled at how wonderful a friend she was.
"Why don't we all sit down," Giles said quietly, leading Buffy towards the table. Angel and Willow sat down opposite of the still teary-eyed slayer.
****
'This is just so typical,' Buffy thought as Whistler began to recount his history with Angel. 'Buffy meets guy, guy disappears, guy turns out to be vampire, vampire leaves her for her own good, vampire shows up when prophecy says Buffy will die, vampire and Buffy go to Spring Fling together, Buffy leaves for the summer, Buffy comes back and acts like bitch to vampire, vampire gets jealous, vampire treats Buffy like a child, Buffy and vampire finally get together, vampire is kidnapped and tortured by his childe, Buffy rescues vampire, Buffy nurses vampire back to health, Buffy and vampire's relationship progresses, Buffy and vampire sleep together, vampire turns evil and begins killing Buffy's friends, vampire gets soul back and Buffy sends him to hell, Buffy runs away, Buffy comes back, Buffy moves on with human guy and vampire returns from hell, Buffy and vampire have on again off again relationship until one day, vampire hits his head as they fight to stop another Armageddon, vampire goes into a coma, Buffy goes to England, vampire wakes up and out of all of it, doesn't remember a _damn_ _thing_.'
In her frustration, Buffy dug her nails into her trembling palm.
Nothing was ever easy in her life. First she's the Chosen One, then she dies, then her boyfriend doesn't remember her-- it was just too much. She wanted things to be the way they had been, back when she was fighting the Bezoar. She and Angel had been in love, and their lives (well, her life, his unlife) had been full of possibility. She remembered the look in his eyes back in those days. Unabashed love had shone in his gaze, unmarred by the fear that his love might steal his soul. She wished that she could see that look in his eyes again, just for a moment.
And then she did.
And he was looking at Willow.
Buffy froze, and she could almost hear her own pulse, she was so still. Suddenly, she saw it all so clearly. Angel waking up from a century of misery to find Willow caring for him. Unlike the boys who had ignored her for so long, Buffy had always been aware of her 'Wily Willow charms'.
She had seen Willow's delicate beauty, loved her tender and generous spirit.
And now, Angel did too.
"I get it," she said suddenly, interrupting Whistler. She looked at Xander. "Not-so-secret admirer. I get it."
Xander exchanged a panicked glance with Giles, who was clutching the arms of his chair in dread. Whistler eased back into his seat, having experienced Buffy in a fury. Only Angel and Willow remained clueless.
Angel, because he hadn't been paying attention to anything other than Willow's mouth, and Willow because she was truly unaware that the change in Angel's behavior had anything to do with her.
"What?" she asked, suddenly alarmed by the look on her best friend's face.
That was about when Buffy lost it. "How could you do this to me?" she yelled, her eyes flashing. "Don't you ever think of anyone but yourself?"
"Buffy, that's hardly fair," Giles interrupted, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Screw fair! No one cares about fair in regards to me!" she shrugged off his hands furiously, looking across the table with venom in her eyes. "Why do you get to take everything that is mine?!" she shrieked.
Willow's chin began to tremble, and Xander stood angrily. "Buffy, this isn't Willow's fault."
Buffy looked at him in genuine confusion. "What makes you think I was talking to Willow?"
"Well- Angel, and Willow, so--"
"I would never say such hateful things to Willow!" she exclaimed. "It isn't her fault that people love her." Buffy stood up, more pissed off than before. She walked around the table, but she was headed towards a spot a few feet behind Willow's chair.
"I was talking to the God...Damned...Hellmouth!" She fell to her knees, pounding the spot on the recently repaired library floor with her fists. Her body was shaking with sobs as she beat the floor with all her strength.
"I hate you...I hate you...I hate you..." she repeated endlessly as Giles quickly crossed to her side. He gathered her up in his arms and carried her trembling body into his office.
As he closed the door behind him, everyone remaining at the table looked at one another unhappily. Angel was the first to break the silence.
"I'm sorry, but- are you telling me the Hellmouth is right here in the library?"
Xander's only response was to drop his head into his hands.