THE SETTING is an Afro-centrically decorated kitchen with a large wooden table that takes up most of the space stage center; it is cluttered with dirty dishes. There is a stove stage right and a sink up stage right next to the stove separated by counter space. Each character sits on a metal chair with plastic covered back and seat cushions that in no way match the table or anything else in the kitchen.
CHARACTERS:
DANA:A twenty-year-old college student who is home for Thanksgiving. Tall, thin, and lighter skinned than the other women.
AUNT BABY:One of Dana's fraternal aunts. A heavy set black woman in her late thirties who is very religious and therefore well covered by a long sleeved shirt and ankle length skirt.
MAMA:Dana's fifty-year-old mother. Another heavy set black woman who smokes too much and is addicted to coffee. Her face is the only thing that resembles her daughter.
G-MAMA?Dana?s seventy-year-old fraternal grandmother who smokes and drinks about as much coffee as her daughter-in-law
AUNT NICIE:Dana's other fraternal aunt. Heavy set black woman, but not as heavy as Aunt Baby. Much less conservative than her sister; wears tight fitted jeans and a low-cut shirt.
LIGHTS UP on five women; four of whom are heavy set black women and one of whom is a slender, young woman. The young woman sits at the up stage center part of the table with her two aunts on the stage left side of her and her mother and grandmother on the stage right side of her. There is a distant sound of a football game on TV. going on somewhere offstage and soft jazz music coming from a stereo sitting on the kitchen counter.
AUNT BABY
So Dana, are you happy to be home for Thanksgiving? How are your classes going? Are you keeping your nose in those books and your eyes off those boys?
DANA
Sure, Aunt Baby, but I'm honestly looking forward to going back to school. My classes are great and I'm too busy with homework most of the time to pay much attention to guys. I basically just work, go to class, then come home and do homework.
MAMA
But of course she still has time to party on the weekends, don't you Dana? That's why she can't wait to get back to school, isn't it Dana?
DANA
I party occasionally. I've been to a few clubs and some house parties, but I'm not really old enough yet to really do the whole bar scene. I don't think that's my thing anyway.
AUNT NICIE
What about those fraternity parties? You go to any of them?
DANA
No, not at all. I don?t really hang out with anyone who?s in a fraternity or sorority to even get invited to something like that. I don?t even think I know someone who knows someone who's in a fraternity or sorority to even go with them.
G-MAMA
Well that's good. I heard about those fraternities and all that stuff they do to kids nowadays. You don't wanna get mixed up with that stuff anyway. (she takes a drag of her cigarette and blows it into Dana's face) That hazing stuff that those white folks do is just plain stupid if you ask me.
DANA
G-Mama, it's not just white people that do those things, it's some sororities and some fraternities; they don't all do it.
G-MAMA
You can't tell me that no black folks would do nothing like that to their own peoples. Ain't none of us dumb enough to put somebody's life in danger like that just to join a club. (she takes a sip of coffee)
DANA
All I'm saying is that it's not a black or white issue, it's about certain people taking things too far and it's not just white frat boys that do it.
AUNT BABY
You trying to stick up for some white folks or something? You got your nerve telling us what white folks will or won't do. Don?t forget we came from the south where white folks was always doing some crazy stuff for no good reason. You just better watch your little self hangin' round with them.
MAMA
Dana can't help being attached to them, Nicie. She's been dating one of them for a while now. Guess she forgot to tell y'all that.
AUNT NICIE
You gone and done what? Dated a white man? Don't you know they don't want nothing good from a black girl? You better watch yourself.
DANA
Mama, why'd you have to tell Aunt Nicie that? You make it sound like just because I'm going out with a guy that's not black, there must be something wrong with my relationship. If you must know, things are going quite well between Nick and me and he hasn't even mentioned anything inappropriate.
AUNT BABY
Not yet, but he will. You just wait and see what happens. I tell you those men are full of sin and they're just waiting for the right time to bring you right into sin with them.
(All women shake their heads in agreement)
AUNT NICIE
What they're trying to say is that if you're going to sin, at least wait until you're old enough to do it out of your Mama's house and for the love of God do it with a black man. We don't want you bringing any Dalmatian babies home.
MAMA
That's not what I meant at all. I mean, of course I don't want her bringing any little half-breeds home from school with her, but I don't want her bringing anything home with her; no babies, from no men, and especially no diseases from that white boy; you know they don't wash too well. (she takes a drag of her cigarette and blows it at Dana)
DANA
That?s not true! Nick is clean; he showers regularly.
G-MAMA
White people have lice. Don't you remember when you were in pre-school and you got the lice from that little white girl in your class just from taking a nap next to her?
MAMA
We had to keep you at home and wash your hair with that special shampoo and check your head over and over again for those little eggs. (she cringes)
DANA
That was one person and it could have been anyone. It just happened to be a white person that time.
AUNT NICIE
Listen to your Mama and grandma, they know what they're talkin' 'bout. Ain't no black person ever got lice from another black person. And we still can't figure out how you got it. Probably 'cause you were too young to get a perm yet. Lice can't live in black hair normally, 'cause of the way we perm and oil our hair. They ain't go nothin' to live off of up there.
DANA
Still, that was one case and it happened years ago. It has nothing to do with my relationship with Nick a whole seventeen years after my lice scare.
AUNT BABY
It has everything to do with it. It just goes to show that white folks don't know how to stay clean enough to keep them nasty bugs off themselves. Think what you want to, just don't be sharin' no hairbrushes or combs with no white folks unless you wanna get those lice again.
G-MAMA
Just what do you see in this white boy that you can't get in a black man?
DANA
I'm just not as attracted to black men as I am to men of other races.
(silence)
(Mama gets up from the table and starts to clear the dishes away and put them into the sink)
DANA
(trapped in the middle of the infuriated women) I don't mean that I'm not attracted to them at all, I just mean that I prefer to not date them.
(beat)
(Aunt Nicie breaks the silence)
AUNT NICIE
Well I don't know what happened to you after you went away to college. You used to date some fine black men when you was in high school. Now, all of a sudden, they're just not good enough for you?
(Dana tries to answer but is interrupted)
MAMA
I almost regret sending her to those private schools. She's gone off and got uppity. Now she thinks she's too good to date her own kind. She has to go off and find some white boy.
AUNT BABY
I just can't believe I'm hearing this from my own niece. What's wrong with her that she can't just find a good black man to go out with? I know she should be concentrating on her studies, but if she insists on going out the least she can do is do it with her own kind.
G-MAMA
I realize my baby is growing up and until now I thought she was going on the right path, but now I'm not so sure. In my day we didn't have no choice about dating no white boy and we was satisfied with who we could date.
AUNT NICIE
(to Aunt Baby) Even when I was in business school we didn't have no problems dating folks that looked like us. We met a nice guy and found out if he had a friend for our friend and we went out; that was it.
AUNT BABY
I haven't had a problem finding a man, I just choose to spend my time praising the Lord instead of looking for satisfaction elsewhere. I know I'm looking in the right place thought, 'cause those church going men are saved, sanctified, and filled with the Holy Ghost.
(Aunt Nicie and Aunt Baby have a separate conversation on one side of the table while Mama sits back down next to G-Mama and has a conversation with her. Dana tries to pay attention to both.)
MAMA
(to G-Mama) I just don't know what to do with her now. She's almost grown and it's a little late to try to change the way she was brought up, now. But, she should know that this dating white boys is only going to lead to trouble.
G-MAMA
(to Mama) I don't know what you did either, but you better find some way to fix it quick before you end up with a real situation on your hands, if you know what I mean.
AUNT NICIE
(jumping in on Mama and G-Mama's conversation) You don't actually think that Dana would try to bring one of them white boys home to marry do you?
(the conversations stop and everyone stares right at Dana for the answer to the last question)
MAMA
(sarcastically) Well Miss Dana, do you think I'll have the pleasure of calling this white meat my son-in-law?
DANA
(flustered and getting angry) His name is Nick and we haven't been dating long enough to say whether or not we will be getting married. If we do, it won't be anytime soon and you all will be the first to know.
MAMA
And why won't it be soon that you'll drop this bomb on your family? Are you afraid we'll eat him? We don't eat live meat; we'd have to kill him first. And besides, we don't like white meat anyway.
(they laugh)
DANA
He's an African and African-American studies major and he's planning to go to Africa all of next year to study abroad. You can't meet him if he's not here.
G-MAMA
He's a what? And he's going where?
AUNT BABY
(confused) She said he's an African studies major and he's going to Africa?
AUNT NICIE
That's what I thought she said.
G-MAMA
What exactly does that mean?
AUNT NICIE
It means that he studies African-American and African history and culture and he's going to Africa to get a better understanding of it.
G-MAMA
So he's studying black people? In college?
DANA
That's right. He's so intrigued by the beautifully deep culture and history of our people that he's made it his life's work to learn as much as he can about us so he can impart his knowledge to his people. Now don't you all feel a little silly about all those mean things you said about white people?
(beat)
MAMA
(takes a sip of her coffee and a drag of her cigarette) He's probably just studying you for a school project.
Dana sighs and gives up. She rolls her eyes and drops her head down onto her arms, which are resting on the table in front of her, and shakes her head.
LIGHTS FADE