Saturday, April 19, 2003 I am rather spastically awaiting my trip to beach-and-sun-agogoland. I've been reading too much Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal, etc etc today. She uses -osity too! Like Sparkosity, but more I'm-turning-an-adjective-into-a-noun-no-matter-what-you-say-like. And I just think sparkosity sounds cool. Like "Casual Sophisticosity" too, but it has too many letters to be a screen name. Whatever. I was looking at the website for Silver Shells (where I'm staying) and *whistles shrilly* does it look like FUN. Private beach, 7500 square foot pool, indoor pool, spa, and I have the cutest sunglasses I can saunter around in. And trust me, I will saunter. And model walk. Oh yesssss.
Thursday, April 17, 2003 Spring Break. Spring Break. Spring Break. Spring Break. Lalala! I am sooooo excited. I want to go to Florida NOW. Eyeeb. Anyway, I'm done with my spastic ranting now.
Wednesday, April 16, 2003 I'm in the library. It's tutorial. I don't really have much to do... Well, except my math homework, which I just don't feel like doing at all. We have a quiz tomorrow and I'm not going to do well. Mrs. Perrault hasn't been here this week either, which makes me mad. *grumpy face* Urgh.
Tuesday, April 15, 2003 The 3200 is so not my event. When I finished, I felt like I was going to *die*. Seriously. My time was rather bad too. And it was so hot today. Urgh, I am so sticking to the 1600 from here on out.
Sunday, April 13, 2003 There are two things in this world that can be described as being "Unbuh-f*cking-believable". The first is lining canoes through chest deep rapids. The second was last nights Blue Rodeo concert. Pardon my French, but there are no other words to properly describe it. The auditorium was smaller than Pierce's, and we were in the second row, center. The band was ten feet away! And the music was INCREDIBLE. They a wonderful variety of their old and new songs, and included a lot of my favorites: Bad Timing, Bulletproof, After the Rain, Head Over Heels, Hasn't Hit Me Yet. Oh! Hasn't Hit Me Yet was so great! Greg came out right on the edge of the stage and played the acoustics, and made us sing the first verse of the song for him. It was fun- everyone there knew all the words. "Hey hey, I guess it hasn't hit me yet. I feel through this crack, and I kinda lost my head. I stand transfixed before the streetlight, watching the snow fall on this cold December night." *sigh* The entire concert was unbelievable. And songs like Girl in Green, which I didn't like too much on the CD, were absolutely amazing live. They just jammed at the end- I've never seen anyone play guitar that way. Greg had about thirty different kinds that he kept switching for every song. And the steel guitar that Bob played was very cool. I could go on about the concert all day, but I won't. ;D
Saturday, April 12, 2003 Oh, I just got an idea. I'm going to make a list of the more inspired/amusing, and all-around interesting things I've ever written on this site. lol. Hooray! More things to consume my time. Later: Ok, I finished it. Highlights
Friday, April 11, 2003 Argh. Today's practice was sucky. Well, now I'm happy to have done it, but it sucked while we were running. Five 800s! That's just cruel. Anyway, I managed it, and hit most of the split times, I think. And Sam gave me a pin for yesterday's meet too. ;D Oh! I'm sooo excited. Blue Rodeo tomorrow! Eeee! Happy!Carlin.
Wednesday, April 9, 2003 Only 3 days until Chatham. I cannot wait! Anyway, it's a half day today, so it's only like 9:20 and I'm already in third hour. It's craziness ;D I really hope that today's meet is postponed because it is sooo cold outside, and I don't think the track is going to be cleared off... And I know that most people aren't going to want to run on a snowwy, slippery track. Especially the hurdlers. Ick. Anyway, school is going by sooo fast! It's already the second week of fourth quarter. Next week we have 10:00 starts, the week after is spring break, then more 10:00 starts, then senior finals, then our finals. It's awesome. Plus, I did really well third quarter. I think I got the best grades I've gotten since middle school. 4.07 ;D Anyway, I don't have a whole lot to write- I should probably study for my latin quiz. I just don't really feel like it, and I think class gets out really soon. I love these shortened class periods. Anywho, au revior.
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Monday, April 7, 2003 I love Latin class. Really. So happy. *giant grin* Caroline was so funny so started going, "Puer! Puer! Look it says puer!" as she pointed at our worksheet. And I was like, "Yea... It does..." I mean, what did she want me to say? lol. And we were in Latin class, so it wasn't very ironic or anything. Ay yi yi. Anyway, I was sitting there all hour with my arm partially on his desk, and his arm was resting like right against mine... *sigh* It was a good hour.
Friday, April 4, 2003 Urgh, Mr. Smith bothers me. He's made this play thing into such a big deal! And is getting really mean about it. And you can tell he really wants to win just so that he looks good. Plus, now there is a terrible ice storm outside, and I know the driving conditions will be horrible tomorrow, and I just don't think it will be safe to drive to Cranbrook! But I know he'll hate me if I didn't go. Urgh.
Thursday, April 3, 2003 Brr... It is so cold outside! It's APRIL for heaven's sakes! I just finished the Track meet against North. I beat my 800 time by 1 second, lol. It was absotively, posilutely freezing though. Like 35 or something. Ay yi yi. I think I may go take a hot bath soon... Or something. I don't know.
Monday, March 31 (Last day!), 2003 I'm in school. Hooray for me. My hamstrings still hurt, but I love these chairs in the school library. I can make them really tall so my legs are all dangly. It's very nice. I feel little again :)
Sunday, March 30, 2003 My right hamstring really hurts. I think I may have pulled it yesterday. I am so bored. I could do my homework... But I just don't want to! It's not like I have any better choices, though. Agh. I wish it were warm outside again. I got so many cute pairs of summer shoes that I want to wear ;/ I'm really excited for Tuesday's meet. I think it'll be a lot of fun- I may actually finish an event this year! (haha) Tereza, Sandy, Michelle and I are doing a 800 relay (Sandy doesn't know it yet though, lol). Should be funny when she finds out... Later: I just went running. Hoorah for me. lol.
Carlin's List of Productive Things She Did This Weekend:
1. Baked (a lot of) cookies.
2. Went to long jump practice.
3. Re-read Ella Enchanted. (Well, that's kind of productive)
4. Babysat for the Szymanskis.
5. Painted her nails 4 times.
6. Cleaned her room.
7. Did the dishes twice.
8. Went running with Tereza.
9. Began her paper.
Ooh! Look how productive I've been this weekend. I'm so proud of myself. ;P
Saturday, March 29, 2003 I woke up this morning and heard voices downstairs. It really creeped me out, until I remembered the painter was coming. My mom warned me he might be pretty early. Hmm. I have long jump practice in 30 minutes. It should be so much fun! I love long jumping. It's much safer than hurdles, but I still get to jump- lol. My hands seem to be asleep right now. They are having a rather difficult time typing. *blinks sleepily* ;D
Tuesday, March 25, 2003 I can so almost cartwheel.
Monday, March 24, 2003 I just love happy days. And yes Dana, I don't care if a day is an inanimate object, it can still be happy. ;P Anyway, school went by really quickly today, and then Track was so much fun! I ran a three mile (to Three Mile, how ironic), which wasn't like "Wahoo! Fun!" or anyting, but I felt pretty good. But then I did long jump (with endorphines. Eyeeb, watch out for Happy!Hyper!Carlin) with Suzanne and Caroline and it was such quality fun. Really. I think I enjoy jumping, and long jump seems so much safer than hurdles. I mean really, you land in a sand pit, and there isn't anything to really trip over. I'll just have to remember to keep my shoe laces tied. Hmm... Anyway, I really don't want to do my homework. I have some World History, which will be so boring, and I should study for my math test tomorrow, because if I want to keep my grade at an A (which I didn't know I had, but my interim said so...), than I have to get an A, which is icky, and I don't know if I'll be able to. I'm so nervous. I'm nervous about chem too. I really need an A on the test on Wednesday because if I don't I'll probably get a B this quarter. And that would be bad bad bad. *sigh* I hate chemistry. It's so boring! It's so mathematical, and I don't enjoy math. There isn't anything creative about it. It's so uninteresting. Everything is "Do it this way, no you cannot do it that way. Why? Because I said so, and my way is always right ;/" Urgh. So much for Happy!Carlin...
Saturday, March 22, 2003 Sadies was fun, though there weren't a lot of people there. We danced a lot. More than at other dances I think, and that's saying a lot. My throat was/is really bothering me. It hurts :( Ah well. I'm so sleepy... I think I might take a quite shower before going to sleep, though. I worked up quite a sweat dancing ;)
Friday, March 21, 2003 Hmm, I think I must look rather disheveled right now. My hair is all wet ;/ I'm just too lazy to go upstairs to dry it. It's funny, I call myself lazy, but I just got home from track practice, so maybe I can just sit around for a while and not be considered lazy. Hmm. Happiness. Anyway, today was a happy day in general. Classes were all shortened, which is so nice. Also, I had five classes before lunch, so the afternoon seemed really short. Then there was track, which was icky because the weather wasn't being friendly ;( But all in all, 'twas good.
Monday, March 17, 2003Happy St. Patty's Day! lol. Today was happy. I discovered a green shirt. It's very lovely. Anyway, I think I've decided that my brain is not capable of tricking itself (myself?). I think so, at least. Gah- but if I think it, than it must be true because I can't think it if I don't think it. I think. Agk, here we go again...
Saturday, March 15, 2003 Et tu, Brute? It's the Ides of March. Poor Caesar... Anyway, I just got back from the spring MJCL Latin Convention (lol!). Carrie was elected Treasurer! It was very fun; we went swimming and ate at Cosi! I loooove Cosi. I think we need one in Grosse Pointe. It's so lovely outside, all warm and spring-like. It was 60 degrees while we were driving home. Hmm. ;D
Tuesday, March 11, 2003 I don't understand myself. I've become addicted to RfA. And not like AtE. I mean, a new chapter was released earlier today and I'm already impatient for the next. It's hopeless. On a different note, but yet still related because it's another way I don't understand myself...
Is it possible for your brain to trick itself? For you to think you think something, but for you not really to think that way? I mean, if you think you think something, don't you? Because it's your own brain that is thinking it thinks something, and if your own mind thinks it, who can tell it that it really thinks otherwise?
Well. I guess that kind of settles it. Circular logic or something.
Monday, February 24, 2003 I've been in this crazy Blue Rodeo mood today. I went and joined the postboards on BlueRodeo.com and convinced Dad to take me to a concert this spring, and am working on D/Ling all their songs that I don't already have... It's getting crazy, I tell ya. I've just been so happy today too. Happy!Carlin. And Byron is asleep and he's like the only person I could talk to about BR, that would actually CARE. Well maybe Kara, who I just "met". Anyway... Well, I don't have anything else to say. lol.
Monday, February 10, 2003 *sigh* I can't wait to go to camp this year. For some reason I've been thinking about it lately. There's only 125 days left! It feels like I just got home, but in reality there's less days until I leave again, than there are days I've been home. This year is really going by quickly. I was just thinking today how homecoming doesn't seem long ago at all, yet it was four months ago, and four months from today it will be JUNE. Whoa. That is such craziness. Time is so strange. I feel like my chemistry class takes forever to be over, but a week goes by rapidly. I don't really understand it. *sigh*
Saturday, February 8, 2003 It's strangely quiet around her. Tay is at a party, and my dad and Archer are seeing a movie. Byron's still asleep too. So, all in all, there's only Dana, my mom and I. Like I said, it's strangely quiet. Ooh, and I got (most) of the stains out of my sumo-pants! I thought the sand would *never* come out, but I scrubbed at the spots with Shout, and washed them again, and *voila!* it was magic. There's only one miniscule spot I missed, and I'll get it next time I wash them. lol. I'm still debating about whether or not I'll go to the dance tonight. I know that Leigh and Carrie aren't going. Suzanne and Susannah are, but they have dates. And Meghan and Kirsten are waiting to see who's going before they decide to decide... er-, right. Anyway, I just don't know if it'll be fun if my friends that are there have dates? I don't want to be a third (fifth?) wheel. Hmm. Ah well. I think The Shawshank Redemption is on TV tonight. Maybe I'll just stay home, make some popcorn, and watch that...
Tuesday, January 28, 2003 Hmm Ha Hadiddle. I thought I *failed* my chem midterm, but I didn't! *Carlin does a lil dance* Hmm. I thought I had something to say. I keep thinking that I need to come write sctuff down, and when I actually am here, trying to write, I can't remember any of it. egk. Sometimes I really worry myself. If I keep rambling, will it come to me? Probably not.
Thursday, January 23, 2003 Ehhhh. It's early-ish. Exams were this week, but I only have one left today, and that's gym. I'm considering myself done. :)
Wednesday, January 15, 2003 Release date for OotP! June 21. But guess where I'll be? Canoeing in Manitoba. Gah! Oh well...
Monday, January 13, 2003 I'm in love with my new layout. It's so ladilladly lovely. heh. I don't have much to say, things are kind of just flat and average. No crazy stuff happening. Well, midterms are next week- but those are really pretty straightfoward. Ay yi yi. I'm listening to my self-created Dixie Chicks greatest hits CD. I'm loving it. Two songs from Home: Top of the World and Travelling Soldier are soooo pretty. :)
Saturday, December 28, 2002 I'm 100% British!
Jolly good, wot! Anyone for tennis? That'll be ten ponies, guv. You're the epitome of everything that is english. Yey :) Hoist that Union Jack!
Thursday, December 26, 2002 Happy belated Christmas! ;D So, that guy who won 315 million dollars yesterday got me thinking. What would I do if I won that much money? Hmm, time for another fantastical list.
1. Buy that house on the corner of Lakeshore and Renaud.
2. Burberry.
3. Buy a condo at Steamboat.
4. Chanel.
5. Pay someone to properly teach me to knit.
6. And sew.
7. Meet Christian Coulson.
8. Marry him.
9. Make a generous donation to Miniwanca.
10. Throw many fancy shmancy parties.
11. Become friends with the Harry Potter director and convince him that an R/H snogging scene would in no way corrupt poor innocent children.
12. Buy the rights to Harry Potter and publish AtE.
13. Force Peter Jackson to film all the missing LotR scenes (Tom Bombadil, etc) until the movies perfectly mirror the books and somehow smoosh all it into one 20 hour movie.
14. Make Philip Pullman add my ending to the Amber Spyglass.
Sunday, December 22, 2002 I love it being a Sunday with no school tomorrow! ;D I made fifty dollars yesterday babysitting at the Conners. Those girls are so cute. I finally have enough money to do some X-mas shopping. I don't know what to get anyone. Agk. Mom said she'd take me shopping tomorrow, tho. I'm so excited for the dance tonight, I love formals! And my skirt is sooo gorgeous *grins*. I'm sitting in Byron's room on the computer. It'll be so nice next year when I get this room! I'll probably get Dad to move my computer up here too. And I can confidently say that the room will not be this boring and empty when I move in.
Saturday, December 21, 2002 I have the best friends in the world :)
Friday, December 20, 2002 The Two Towers was absolutely incredible. Gollum vs. Smeagol was hilarious, and I love love love the ents. Helm's Deep was the best battle scene ever written, and ever put into film. And best of all: They included Gimli and Legolas's kill count! I was soooo happy when I heard that. I squeaked. Shelob was postponed to RotK, though. Everything was perfect, except for Faramir- they totally messed him up. ;/
Monday, December 9, 2002 Agk, it's been awhile. I feel almost guilty for neglecting this for so long... I actually think it's a good sign when I don't write in here for periods of time- means I don't have much to gripe about. Anywho, life is as usual. I'm looking forward to next Tuesday because of LotR:TTT, which I have 12:01 a.m. tickets to on it's opening day. Ay yi yi.
Tuesday, October 22, 2002 So, I'm in tutorial. I don't have anything to do, 'cept my math homework... But I'll get to that later. I haven't updated here in like, so long. It's strange, I used to update at least daily. I just haven't had the time or something, I guess. Ah well. I'm hungry. When's lunch? Hmmph, half and hour. Gah.
Saturday, October 5, 2002Ahh! I just got my first varsity time! *celebrates* Anyhow, this is like the busiest weekend I've had in a looong time. I had the Saginaw meet this morning, and Liggett's homecoming tonight, and the apple orchard with the cc team tomorrow and a research paper due next week. Not to mention our spirit day is on Tuesday.
Monday, September 16, 2002 My life has once again been taken over by cc. I run, and sleep, and run and eat, and go to school, and run. It's kind of nice :P I've restarted my cc times page, and it makes me happy.
Saturday, August 10, 2002 Hmm. I'm at my cottage. Dana and Archer are running around with Molly and driving me absolutely insane. They went swimming and then got absolutely filthy. I wouldn't be surprised if they were rolling in the mud. gah. I'm bored. My dad took Dana and I on an overnite canoe trip two days ago. They are both pitiful canoers. It was kind of fun though, except when my dad leaned over too far and capsized. Ah well.
Thursday, August 1, 2002 I just got the cutest shoes from The-Store-Formerly-Known-As-Jacobson's. I got the cutest lip gloss from Chanel too. I'm happy ;) lol. I went to Chicago last weekend to drop Tay off at Northwestern. Her program sounds like it could be fun. Except for the 5 hours of class a day. But she's right on the beach, she and Kara have a nice dorm, and they've been going out after class to see movies and go shopping. I was thinking about creating a soundtrack type-thing for this summer. Some songs just totally represent this summer for me... like Crazy Game of Poker, The Middle, Complicated... Oh!, and It's Getting Hot in Here. Someone would say that while we were canoeing (eyb! it was soooo hot. Like 95, plus we had to wear our rain jackets and rainpants 24/7) and everyone would burst into song.
Saturday, July 20, 2002 OMG, OMG, OMG. So much has happened. First is that, I'm home! After being away for five weeks. My trip was awesome; all the girls were so sweet and I'm going to miss them terribly. We canoed for 10 days on the Mississagi River in Ontario, and then biked from the Keweenaw Penninsula in the U.P down through Wisconsin and crossed Lake Michigan on a ferry into Luddington. Then we rode into camp. It was incredible, we canoed 100 miles and biked 500. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but also the most fun. To see a map of where I biked, click here: Biking Map
Saturday, May 18, 2002 Darn geocities is down, so I'm writing this in wordpad. I'll post it on the site later. I've managed to download almost all of season 5 of Friends. There's only like two episodes that are still downloading, and I've got nearly all of season 6 downloading. Ya know? It's funny how nice older brothers can be once in a while. I get along with Byron probably better than anyone else. Maybe its because we have pretty limited contact. He isn't home a whole lot anymore, and if he is, he barracades himself in his room. But, we were able to talk for like 10 minutes earlier, which, trust me, is a lot for Byron. I joined Arolos Weyr, and my god, does it generate a lot of email. It's craziness, I tell you. I never meant to make you cry, and though I know I shouldn't call, it just reminds us of the cost, of everything we've lost, bad timing, thats all. I love Blue Rodeo. Some of their songs are so pretty. And it's kind of nice that nobody's heard of them. I like not having songs be played constantly on the radio. It's not special to love songs when everyone else does too.
Friday, May 17, 2002I want a Carter!
The above statement would only be understood if you watch ER, and even then, maybe not. But who wouldn't want a really nice, rich, cute doctor? I mean honestly!
Friday, May 10, 2002 Empty houses are so scary. Well, its really not empty, because Archer and Riley are here, but their both asleep. Oops, correction: Riley isn't asleep. He's quite alert when there is any sound. But he's still laying down, and he's a dog. I am so sleepy. I fell asleep in Archer's bed when I was saying goodnight to him. heh. I just don't want to go to bed... I wish a red wings game were on. I wonder what time they're playing tomorrow. *checks nhl.com* Ah... There was an hour gap in between this and the last sentence I wrote. I seemed to have been distracted. Anyway, they play at 3:00. *smiles*
Monday, May 6, 2002 I'm at school. At lunch. I'm sleepy. My head hurts. I couldn't fall asleep last night, and I kept waking up at random intervals throughout the night. Ick. My collarbone is getting better though, I can use my arm a lot better than I could before and the lump is really receding. It was so funny, the way I was dreading the Tau Beta party, and how much fun I ended up having. It wasn't really like I thought it would be. We just went in and sat down and talked. It was so funny when Jessica and I saw eachother. We were like "Oh my god! Thank goodness!" It seems that a lot of other people were kind of worried about going to the party too. The food was good, the people were nice, and I had a fun time. *smiles*
Saturday, May 4, 2002 The Red Wings just won another game. That's their 6th in a row ;) I think the Blues may come back in game 3 though, they had A LOT of good shots in the last two periods today, but Hasek stopped them. But who knows if he'll be able to do that in the next few games? *shrugs* I got my pictures, there are a few really good ones. I look funny in a few of them, though. Hmm... Ah well. Maybe I'll go add some to my scrap book now. Or scan them onto my site. Hmm...
Wednesday, May 1, 2002 I'm in foods. It's another one of those weird schedules today. I have a math test next hour that I am going to FAIL. OMG, I was trying to study and I couldn't figure out what to study. Egk. I just want to go home. And get my pictures from CVS. It's kind of sad that I'm just getting them developed now, and I took them in July (and June, come to think of it) Ok, so it's been nearly a year. Agh. lol.
Tuesday, April 30, 2002 Tomorrow's May! Only 30 days of school left. The Szymanskis are here. Natalie keeps asking me for help on her HW, and Nicole is so cute. :)
Monday, April 29, 2002 I added a really old picture of Riley to my pics page. He is sooo tiny in it! Nobody would suspect that he grew into the monster he is now. (But I love him anyway!) Aunt Maguerite died. It really was for the best. She's had no quality of life for the past 10 years. I don't even know if she knew she was living still. It's really thrown my grandma off balance though. For a long time, Aunt Maguerite took up a lot of her time. She doesn't know what to do with herself now. Hmm... School doesn't start until 10:15 again tomorrow. *grins* Nothing much to say now. Bye.
Friday, April 18, 2002 Bones that do nothing, inhibit everything.
Wednesday, April 17, 2002 *cries* I hurt.
Wednesday, April 10, 2002 I broke my collarbone
Sunday, March 31, 2002 It's Easter. We leave for Florida tomorrow. Early. Like 4 AM. I read the next Princess Diaries book today. It made me ever so happy. Books make me happy. Well, only happy books. Whatever.
Saturday, March 30, 2002 It was exactly four years ago that I cam home from France. Hm... Anyway, Byron's friends are here. It's slightly annoying. They just like invade my house. Gaugh. My back hurts. I am bored. Agh. I wish I were in Florida. I'm so excited. We're leaving on Monday! We're either going to Naples or some Key off the west coast. It should be pretty cool.
Friday, March 29, 2002 I just had a major mood-booster. I found this pair of shorts that I've had since 6th grade. They were always my favorite shorts, but when I just looked at the size, I got a bit nervous. They're size 0. I don't wear a size 0 anymore, lol. But I put them on and they actually still fit! How awesome is that!? My size 0 shorts from three years ago still fit me. I have to go pray to the god of running now.
Monday, March 25, 2002 I am so bored! It's craziness. Riley is driving me insane with his need to play fetch. Gah! There is nothing to do but sit here and reread AtE chapters. Ay yi yi! I need a good book. My mind has been absolute MUSH lately. I just feel sluggish. Icky and sluggish. I think I should go take a nice hot shower and then climb into bed. Maybe read a little bit before I go to sleep. Drink some Echinacea Cammomile tea. Life is not as cool as it should be. I just wish it were Thursday! Because then, ER would be coming on in 40 minutes and I wouldn't have school for 10 more days... *sigh* But it isn't Thursday. And why not? Because life is mean to me. I need to make a CD of my classical music. I really do. I'd use Brandenburg, Eine Kleine, Palladio, Tempo Di Valse, Saint Saens, maybe some random cello concertos. The cello is so relaxing. The deep music is just so... I mean, the violin is gorgeous too. But you can't fall asleep to the high pitched violin. And I guess I don't have any taped viola concertos. I just love the cello's music. I've always wanted to play it. But mom wouldn't let me in 4th grade. I remember how upset I was. Hm. I made another dress yesterday. I think this one turned out better than Dana's. It's really quite lovely. A pink and white plaid, sleeveless dress. It very much looks like a Taylor dress. It's nice. I love being able to sew. It makes me feel good to have a skill that is completely unique to me. Just me. The viola was mine. But Taylor took it. I guess HTMLing is mine. Nobody else has a website. Especially not one with iframes that's been up and running for nearly two years. *VBG* I am so tired. Goodnight everyone.
Friday, March 22, 2002 *shivers* It is so cold out! I've been home for at least half an hour and my hands still feel like ice. We only had to run two one miles today, but it was just so freezing! I felt awesome though. I beat Iris and Heather in the second mile (Iris has tendonitis though). Actually I beat everyone except for one person in the second mile. It was totally awesome. I'm so happy that it is Friday. Only four more days of school until spring break. I just hope that it warms up a bit. Riley is such an angel. He's been curled up in the corner for a while now, I think that he's sound asleep. He is such a sweetie. Mom came home last night and showed me all of the stuff from William and Mary. It looked so cool! And Byron really liked it; it'd be weird to have him be so far away though. It's hard to imagine really... I really want to get away from Michigan for my college years, and come back to raise a family. But, I see Byron doing the opposite, staying in Mich for college and then moving out of state to live. I'd miss him if he did though...
Tuesday, March 19, 2002 *giggles* I had a terrible day today until Track. Zan and I did long jump because there was no hurdling and we're slackers. It was so much fun tho! We both are pretty bad at the long jump, but we were both so giddy that it was tons of fun. We've decided to write Cass and Zeis on the back of our sweatshirts. It should be good times... lol. I found the most GORGEOUS dress on buttericks.com yesterday. I am totally going to make it out of some satin-y craberry fabric for homecoming this year. It'll be so pretty! I made Dana a dress on Sunday. I was so proud. It's a sleeveless sundress made out of this cute small pink/red plaid. Ooooh. I love it. I want to make Tay something for her birthday. Maybe I'll get to that this weekend ;)
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 I've started moving files over to geocities. I really liked the old envy.nu server: there weren't any ads! But at least geocities has pop-ups, and only one. The new envy.nu has banners on every subpage. It's so cluttered! Ah well. Track has started up, and it's good fun. I think I might want to do hurdles this year, but I might want to continue distance as well... Ay yi yi. The decisions, the decisions. lol. I was amazed at how happy I was the first day we did the stretching routine. It was so weird how such a normal activity a few months ago made me so excited. I loved cross country, and while this isn't the same, it's pretty close. I've started working on Dana's quilt again. I think I've done most, or all of the cutting. I love my rotary cutter. I'm hoping I can get that finished by mid-April. I'm hoping, but at the pace I've been working, it could be quite a while. I think it's going to look really nice though. The fabric I chose for the gold is so gorgeous. Ah! Class is starting!
Monday, February 25, 2002 Thank goodness! Envy.nu went out of business and I thought this site was lost. But, I've had my files transferred and everything is ok now. I think I may move to a different server though. I really like envy.nu, but the new management has way more ads and such. They are so ugly. I'll look into something else, and I'll make sure to keep back up files on my harddrive this time. :)
Thursday, January 10, 2002 What is it about this time of year? I seem to go through an annual depression. I don't understand why. It's so weird. ack. life is being mean. i don't get it. *shakes head* i just don't. i feel rather annoying. not like i'm annoying myself, which i used to do quite often. but like i'm an annoyance to other people. a lot of other people. i hate it, and when i stop to think, i realize that i'm probably not an annoyance to my friends. but i can't seem to shake the feeling that i am. maybe because it's happened before, i think it'll happen again. but if something has already happened, does it mean its less likely to happen again? or does it prove that it is possible, and that it could well happen again? now i'm just confused. i've felt unnormally stressed lately, and i can't understand why. I've had a lot of hw, but less than i've had at other, unstressed times. i realized that my need for my journal is based on my long term mood. during a lot of eighth grade i felt depressed, and i wrote in my journal A LOT. And for the past few months, i've been letting my journal go a bit; a good sign i think. but just in the past week, i've had urges to write a lot more, i find myself sitting and staring at walls, spending too much time trying to focus on homework, and worrying about tests. it doesn't make sense at all! i've got chills running through my arms, and i get all shaky about once a day. My hands won't stay steady, and often my legs and arms won't either. i can't fall asleep at night, and i can't wake up in the morning. what's going on? seriously, i don't understand my oh-so-sudden change of mind. things were going well. i need a break. a really long one.
Sunday, January 6, 2002 I have a lot of respect and awe for Regan. I went to her gymnastics tournament yesterday, and WOW. She got first on the bars, second on vault, fifth on floor and was 6th all around. She did incredibly! I don't even know how you can stand up on the beam, let alone do flips on it. goodness.
Tuesday, December 18, 2001 Yea, long time no write. Ick. I've had a few minor crisis's. Nothing too serious, and I think they're dulling down for the most part. 'Cept for my science test. I haven't actually gotten it back yet, but I KNOW I did horrible. Ick again. I'm at school, it's Lunch time. Only a week until Christmas and 3.5 days of school left. *sigh* I'm scared to go to bio. Agk... And English, my teacher is so mean! We have 4 papers and an oral report this month. How horrible? Just a bit longer though. I can make it. *sheesh*. I hope. I watched Titanic last night, and I almost made it through without crying! Really, just the VERY last scene where Rose dies, it made me cry. It was a happy cry though, 'cause it was a reunion type thing. Ah well. Bye then.
Saturday, DECEMBER 1, 2001 Did I ever mention how much I love December? Best month, despite the school of course. But even that is abbreviated! I am in a strangely good mood. I just feel good. Mentally and physically. My skin is as clear as ever, my hair looks *cute* up in braids. I just made 25$ babysitting for a lil angel! Everything is happy. Oh its goodness.
Friday, November 9, 2001 Stupid orchestra concert. It's all its falt. If we hadn't had it I could've asked sooner, and then I wouldn't be so upset. I hate it when something totally unexpected and great happens, but then something totally unexpected and terrible happens that cancels out the first thing, and so, everything is just bad. No fun. It's not fair. Things are never fair. Why can't it be like 4 in the afternoon? Why couldn't I have asked earlier. It's not fair. It's just not. I hate it so much. Everything is not cool. I am so grumpy. However, Grumpy isn't the right word. There isn't a good word. Dissapointed in a mad way. Angry at myself. It's so stupid. None of my agk egk egh agh words even fit the situation. This is a full blown GRRRRRRRPRJKHGD:igjkl;ajklrggh!!!!!!!!! *creases brow and frowns* *looks slightly viscious* *kjjkkdrtgshnjkl/lawejkl;iourssgnsdk;*
Tuesday, November 6, 2001 I hate Taylor. She is such a brat. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. Selfish, inconsiderate, never thinks of anyone else. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her.
Sunday, November 4, 2001 I am utterly hopeless. Guess what my goal today was? To learn how to quilt. Guess what my resource was? The internet. Did I accomplish my goal? Yes! One problem. I don't have any fabric and my dear sweet mother *cough* says I can't buy any because I don't have a sewing maching (yet). I don't need a sewing machine. I have good ole needle and thread. Really. I can do this! *grumbles* See? I really am hopeless. My mother makes no sense at all. None. Nope nope nope. *sigh*. I need a life. I need a hobby. Well I have a hobby. Or I would if my mother would let me go to JoAnn Fabrics. I think I have some serious problems. Really. Have you ever heard of a person who is obsessed with quilting and their mother refuses to let them? I like a disfunctional life. Really I do. *eyeeb*
Wednesday, October 31, 2001 HALLOWEEN! lol. A lot has happened. I had regionals and get this, I got a 23:52!!!! I was sooo estastic. It was so great. But now the season is OVER! Ahhh! It's so sad. It's highly depressing. I have to go cry now. lol. Tonight, Tereza's having a party and I'm bringing IT. I watched most of it last night. It's such a good plot, and really creepy but with such bad acting! lol. I love it. Mwahaha.
Saturday, October 20, 2001 Yesterday was so much fun! The freshman mixer was last night and it was so great. Sooo much better than any dances I've ever been to. For a few reasons: 1. Only people in my grade. 2. More space. 3. Ice cream. 4. Volleyball 5. I felt pretty ;D It was really a blast. I tangoed, and ballet-ed, and made up a game consisting of a gym floor and lots of little light beams (hehe), and I won a 5$ gift certificate to the school store, and I got glow stick stuff all over me *i glowed*. :) The only bad part was when Phil dropped me. *notgettingintoit* And today was awesome too. I got my best time in cross country. *yay* and I found out that Brennon can be highly amusing. But only because he was so clueles... Ah, I'll explain. At the dance last night, Suzanne asked where Laura went and I said, "Oh, probably off snogging Brennon." And then I was like, "OH! Bad image." lol. Well, later I told Brennon he should go snog Laura, and he's like "Ok." But he never did. I didn't expect him too. Well I kept telling him too all night. He never did (I wouldn't want to know if he had...) Anyway, today at cc, he was like "What's snogging anyway?" So I pulled out my trusty copy of Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging (good book. very good. hilariously good.) I just happened to have the book with me... heh. And so, I showed him the definition of snogging and he flipped out. Aw. It was hilarious. He laughed at himself too. It wasn't just me. Really.
Monday, October 15, 2001 I woke up this morning and couldn't move my head. My throat hurts. I'm sick. Blargh.
Sunday, October 14, 2001 I saw Pearl Harbor last night. I cried. It was sooo sad. But not as sad as Moulin Rouge... Anyway, my throat hurts and I'm in a relatively grumpy mood. I need sleep. Sleep is very good.... Friday, September, 21, 2001 I just nearly had a heart attack. Envy.nu didn't recognize my account and it said I didn't have an account. I flipped. *sigh* But its ok now. *deepbreaths*
Monday, September 17, 2001 Long time no write! Whew! So much has happened. I met these two cool guys, Phill and Robbie. Leigh has a crush on Phill. Everyone knows it, even him. lol. Poor Laura feels left out cause everyone is going and making new friends. *sigh* I'm having so much fun at south! Its so awesome! :) This entire Homecoming thing is cool. *grins* I've been so happy lately. With cross country and everything. That seretonin really does wonders. I got a 29:19 yesterday! Thats the best EVER! I was so happy. And it was on the most difficult course we'll run this year. How awesome?! It feels like Middle school never happened. everything has been wiped clean. Started over. its so good
Tuesday, September, 4, 2001 water and hydrogen bonds. i see no connection
Friday, August 31, 2001 Byron's friends are soooo weird. They're taking random stuff from my house, taping it together and they're going to leave on Hunter's doorstep. *shrugs* I started school. Blargh.
Tuesday, August 21, 2001 I am so tired. Just completely exhausted. Leigh's party was last night, and I got four hours of sleep because I had to get up for cross country. So on four hours of sleep, I had to run for an hour and a half. Oh joy. I got home and tried to take a nap, but it was too loud and I only was able to sleep for about half an hour. There is a pasta party later. I don't know if I am going or not. Oh well. I may just stay home and try to sleep :) Thursday, August 16, 2001 Ooh. I got my hair cut. It is so cute! Ooh I love it. *grins* I need to get Leigh a birthday present and I don't have any ideas on what to get her. Grr. The village needs new stores. Oh well, I'll think of something.
Tuesday, August 14, 2001 I think my endurance is getting better, I ran two miles today and I didn't start to get tired until after the first mile. I ended up at Moross, so I had to get back to South. I run/walked the way back. Esh
Monday, August 6, 2001 School approaches. Ahh! It's scary. Anyway, on a different note, I joined another Weyr. I like the owner of this one. I based my persona off Taytay. Hehe, except I smoothed over a few of her less-finer points and improvised a lot. Hehe, but it looks like Tay! *grins*. We're going up north tomorrow night. I love it there. The house is going to be so great! I WANT TO GO SKIING. eeeeeee.
Sunday, August 5, 2001 My lips are exceedingly shiny. Hehe. It's slightly amusing, although they feel sticky. Agk. Nevermind.
Saturday, August 4, 2001 I want eighth grade to come back.
Thursday, August 2, 2001 I feel like crying, and I don't have a good reason to. In fact I don't have any reason to. I just have these chills that keep running down my arms and legs and I feel depressed. I'm not frowning, but my mouth is sorta locked in this sad little expression. Actually, as I look in the mirror, my face looks pretty... but just so sad. Anyway, I just don't know. It's so weird. I want to talk with one of my friends in some long, deep conversation. But it's 10:00 and I can't call anyone without having a really good reason to. And Leigh's out of town, I'd call her if I could... Oh well.
Tuesday, July 31, 2001 *grumbles* I am mad at Scholastic, or Bloomsbury, or whoever decides when the next Harry Potter book comes out. It was supposed to be this month! Now I heard it won't be until 2002! Uh! Not cool. Heh. I have no life. I painted the two upstairs bedrooms at the cottage last weekend. It was so much harder than I thought it would be! We had to prime, paint the ceiling and paint the walls (2 coats). Agk. Anyway, the house is coming along amazingly. The once ENTIRELY wood panel-ed downstairs is now dry walled and painted. The linoleum in the kitchen is being installed on Wednesday, and the Carpet for the whole house is going in next week. We redid the entire kitchen, and knocked a few walls out. All the bedrooms have been painted happy cheery colors and 2 of the 4 rooms have quilts and matching shams that coordinate with the walls and carpet. All in all, you wouldn't recognize the house from a month ago ;D I have never been more physically exhausted that I was today. I went to bed late last night, and had to get up early this morning for cross country. Then I had to run 3.5 miles. In 90 degree weather. OMG. I got home and I quickly showered and went shopping. All I had eaten from when I woke up until 4:00 was a bagel and a tub of yogurt. I had no energy. I used all of it running and I felt really sick. Agk. I'm better now tho ;D
Monday, July 23, 2001 Wow. It's been nearly a month... Camp was a lot of fun this year. I was stuck in 50 bay tho, but then again, so were all the other 9th graders. I had a great time, the best thing was the high ropes course. It was so awesome! Especially the "giant's ladder". It was this huge swinging rope ladder with each rung only 1.5 inches wide and 6 ft between the rungs. It was really hard but I had a great feeling of accomplishment when I completed my goal. Goal: get to the top and do a dance. heh. It was a partner event so, Sarah Kogan did it with me. She was in my cabin 2 years ago. We were the only group to get to the top! And we were the first to go. *grins* It's good to be home tho. Next year I'm doing the adventurer trip. I go to camp for five weeks, but while I'm there I do this 3 week canoeing/biking trip in the U.P. and Canada. It's outward bound-ish. *grins*
Wednesday, June 27, 2001 Only 4 days until my birthday! eeeee! I am so excited to go to camp. THREE WEEKS. I mean, how cool is that?! It's so awesome. I made a souffle today but i don't think it worked. it has to be in the refrigerator overnight. i'll see what happens to it tomorrow... the creamcheese got kinda chunky though. it wouldn't mix right. agk. lol! I had a disscussion today with abbee about good words. agk, egk, arg, blargh, etc. hehe! I am in such a cheerfully happy go lucky mood. I'm running again tomorrow. gotta get my endurance built up. I am so into being healthy and active lately. Watch what ya eat, run 2.6 miles every other day. I feel good. I feel happy. I keep squishing up my face into a lil excited grin thing. eh. heh. i am getting tingly now from being all cheerful. I don't know what it is, i just feel so good right now. so alive. so likable and beautiful and perfect. Caroline was all funny today cause some guy in a car whistled at us as they drove by today while we were walking home from the village. lol. I didn't hear it cause there was this strange beeping noise coming from someone's backyard. I was distracted. lol. *sigh* i think I'll go to bed early tonight. But I am at least waiting until it gets dark. I love the summer!
Sunday, June 24, 2001 I burned a lifehouse CD. I was mad cause I got left at home with Archer so I used one of Byron's blank CDs. It's not like he doesn't have a million anyway. Only a week until my birthday and Miniwanca! That makes me so happy! eee.
Friday, June 22, 2001 I am so sleepy! Suzanne slept over last night. We stayed up til 2:15, and I woke up at 9:00 and I am sooo tired! Egh. *eyesdrooping*
Monday, June 18, 2001 Laura told me to make a "Things that are right with my like" list. So I did. Here it is:
Things that are right with my life:
1. I learned how to put on eyeliner
2. My dog is a cutie
3. I have friends
4. I ran 2 miles yesterday
5. I love music. specifically Lifehouse
6. My website is awesome.
7. I can type quickly
8. I got a B on the test I thought I failed
9. I am going to camp in two weeks
10. My mom bought me new shoes
11. I look better in the summer
Saturday, June 16, 2001 Schools out. I was sad. I cried. I am so neutral on everything right now. No feelings. If somebody walked up to me and just started to scream and yell at me and say terrible things i'd probably be able to stare blankly at them with no expression whatsoever. I hate when i am like this. I feel so uninteresting. I need to alter the things wrong with my life... Eleven things that are wrong with my life
1. my eyes are two different shapes
2. nblm
3. i have no muscle
4. i can't hold interesting conversations
5. my dog ate my flip flops
6. my dog ate my blue jeans... while i was wearing them
7. the computer causes depression
8 my eyes are still two different shapes
9. nblm still
10. I have no guy-friends
11. Eighth grade is over, and I'm going to get lost in South.
br> Monday, June 4, 2001 8 school days until the last day of school. *grins*. only 4 school days until cedar point *grinsmore* i don't like who I am. i want to change.
Saturday, June 2, 2001 Ten things that are wrong with my life
1. my eyes are two different shapes (god, this annoys me)
2. nblm
3. school isn't over
4. i hate math and my math teacher is crazy
5. i can't put on eyeliner (it just won't work!)
6. my dog ate my flip flops
7. my dog ate my blue jeans... while i was wearing them
8. the computer causes depression
9 my eyes are still two different shapes
10. nblm still
Wednesday, May 30, 2001 I went to a baseball game yesterday, and I now understand the nickname "Baseball Boy". Carrie can be so weird...
Tuesday, May 29, 2001 It's Tuesday, but it feels like Monday. I went swimming yesterday. It wasn't that cold. Until you got out. Eep...
Sunday, May 27, 2001 Laure-Anne is here. She's a lil cutie ;D. Dana really likes her now. Hmm... Laure-Anne must be less annoying when she isn't at home. ;D
Saturday, May 26, 2001 Mom's B-day. It's hectic around here. Taylor, Byron and Dad have gone to Indy. Mama wants us to got with her to Village grille for Mom's b-day, Aunt Karen wants to take us to one of the clubs (Hunt club, Yacht Club, Country Club). I want to just say with Mom and Archer and not include the extended family. But then again, they aren't Mom's extended family. They are her family. "Something else to hide behind. The fearful always preyed unpon your confidence." I want to be skinnier. Ever since swimming ended I've been getting more and more flub. It's very annoying. I must have lost all my swimming skills by now. It's slightly depressing.
Sunday, May 20, 2001 Two thoughts that just fit. why is it that i can talk to people just fine over the internet, but when i see them in person, there is no conversation? Are hopes ever too far away, or can you catch them when they dip closer to your outstretched arms?
Friday, May 18, 2001 Popular isn't coming back next year! That is so totally unfair! UGH! *sob* Today was interesting... I watched Gladiator with Carrie and Leigh. Tomorrow is the St. Joan of Arc fair! Yay! ;D eh eh eh. I've been feeling weird lately. Not like sick to my stomach weird, but overly hyper and getting weird thoughts... Nevermind. i've also been thinking up these great questions, example: If you could be invisable for a day, what would you do? and If what you did for a day didn't matter, what would you do? and If you could read one person's mind, whose would it be? Yea. I wish I could read a certain someone's mind. EGH LE BLAH!
Tuesday, May 15, 2001 So not fair. Sooooo not fair. Carrie says someone likes me, but she won't tell me who! Grrrrr
Monday, May 14, 2001 I've had this weird thing for dark blue shirts lately. LoL. Baseball boy has been wearing them a lot often. I'm starting to really like them now... LoL! Byron was buying new clothes, and I told him he should get a dark blue polo. He looked at me weirdly. *sigh* I am so obsessed. It's funny. Dana comes home tonight. AJ called earlier to take to her. It was so cute! He is such a sweetie. Awww...
Sunday, May 13, 2001 Got home from festival. It was fun. Leigh, Carrie and I went on the ripcord type thing. I HAD TO PULL THE RIPCORD. IT WAS SOOOO SCARY. For a minute we were falling because there was some slack in the cord. Oh it was fun. But scary. I want to do it again at cedar point. I love rollercoasters. *grins*. Leigh thought I was insane yesterday. I was staring at someone and i noticed her looking at me weirdly. so i looked down and squeaked because i didn't want people to notice me staring and she was like 'what the heck?' it was funny. when i looked back up, the person i was gazing at was gone. hmmph. blah. *sigh* hopeless, but i like it that way.
Thurdsday, May 10, 2001 I've been happy. Truly happy. Not that fake stuff that lasts for a few hours. But emotionally, physically, mentally HAPPY. That's what happens when I work soo hard at something and get it right. It doesn't happen a lot, but Oh! When It does... I hope my happy streak lasts a few days. I should be happy more often. too bad i'm not
Wednesday, May 9, 2001 The weak will seek the weaker til they've broken them. could you get it back again? would it be the same? I feel pretty again today. and I'm not even wearing makeup. My hair just blow dried PERFECTLY. ;D Only problem is my dumb eyes that are two different shapes. *grumbles* Ah. well. Later: My leg is bleeding, my mucsle's KILL, my elbow stings, I am soaked in sweat. But I am finally happy. It took a lot of tear bringing frustration on hurdling. But I am happy. FINALLY. Sunday, May 6, 2001 I say things that I don't know if I mean. Then people get the wrong impression, and I end up annoying myself again. How do I know if I'm expressing myself or burrowing deeper into sadness by creating a mask of someone I think I am?
Saturday, May 5, 2001 Last night I fell asleep in Dana's bed while my mom was saying goodnight to Archer. I awoke one to find myself still in her bed. I kept waking up every few hours scared, like I didn't know where I was. Plus, I was freezing. At four I got back into my own room. I got a good rest tho. 9:45-730 isn't bad. I must've been really tired. Egh, I'm obsessing more and more. I annoy myself. *sitting in school, staring at the back of his head.* why do I do this? blah. Later: My hopes, my dreams, crushed by fading footsteps.
Sunday, April 29, 2001 Wow, over a week since my last entry... "Smile and wait, ain't got nothing to say." That's a good quote. I like it. ;D I get like that. Find a nice quote. memorize it, tell everyone else I know it. Yea... Nevermind. Did I already explain the dance in Up? I hope so. It was slightly depressing (aren't thet always?) but overall fun. Whenever I go to one of those dances I always feel overly selfconscious. Maybe that's why I don't really care that much about them, Taylor gets obsessed with them *stupidtaylorwakingmeupat800saturdaymorningsoshecangetadanceticket* hehe. everyone in line yesterday seemed half asleep. Jay turned to me and asked what time the tickets went on sale, I said 9 and he like groaned and turned around muttering like he had just awoken. I didn't quite get that considering we were almost at the room where the tickets were being sold and it was 9:30. Taylor looked at me perculiarly and later was like "What was his problem?" It was funny. Blah. I kept thinking my skirt was too short. I still think it was. Hmmph. Everyone else said it wasn't but I still felt awkward, I feel awkward a lot. It seems like no matter how hard I try to fit in with people I really like and admire, I'm not really accepted. I may try and convince myself I am, and other people may act like it, but I'm not. I feel like an outcast often. It's become... well I guess, normal. Very few of my friends I can *really* be myself around. Some I have to be more outgoing with, others I have to tone it down a little with. I'm the only person who has anything near my personality. I'm stuck in the middle of two types of people and I don't fit anywhere. I'm a square peg with the choice of fitting into a round hole or a triangular hole. I don't fit anywhere. Call me a misfit
Saturday, April 21, 2001 I got my 1st draft sheet done today. I did ALL of it. ;D The library is so helpful. Dana got all her homework she was missing while she is in France done too. She's so excited. It'll be weird not having her here. It was nice when Taylor was gone. My own room and stuff. Yea. Dana's cute tho. And her friends are so sweet. Aw, well. Lady Marmalade is a cool song. I want to see Moulin Rouge. But what does Voulezs-vous pouches auf view mois mean? I don't even thing I spelled that right. Actually, I KNOW I didn't spell that right. I saw Josie and the Pussycats yesterday. It was a good movie. And the music in it was awesome. I want the soundtrack! ;D Ah well.
Wednesday, April 18, 2001 I got my hair highlited. Eee! I think it looks good. Other than my hair, this has been the worst vacation ever it seems like my friends are avoiding me. I have done NOTHING all week. I've stayed home all week. Everytime I call someone, nobody can do anything! UGH. I feel like I've had no life for the past week. This is so not fun.
Tuesday, April 17, 2001 Nothing to do. I am so bored. egh. I get my hair highlited tomorrow. ;D and I'm babysitting for the woods on Saturday. They are soooo cute! ;D *sigh* Little girls are so fun to babysit for. Last time I was there, we had a tea party. I was the servant. LOL! anyway nothing else really to say.
Monday, April 16, 2001 Sugar high children... Eck.
Sunday, April 15, 2001 It's easter. I'm tired. Archer's on a sugar high. Riley loves jellybeans. I want real food. Egh.
Thursday, April 12, 2001 Not a lot to say. I feel pretty today. I just do. My hair looks good, my skin looks clear (oh the joys of chanel), and i LOVE the new shirt I am wearing. Orange is such an awesome color, and it looks cute on me! Do I sound like I'm bragging? I hope not, cause yesterday I looked hidieous!
Tuesday, April 10, 2001 I want to go cry, but i don't have the willpower to get up right now. everything is crumbling.
Sunday, April 8, 2001 DC was so much fun! *grins* not much to say. i'll write more in the Up section.
Monday, April 2, 2001 Yawn. I am bored. No homework, no nothin'. I had Inklings after school. It was my first meeting, Justin's too. We decided on the theme for this year's. It's decades. That was our second choice last year. I think it'll be cool... ;D yep yep. Annie gave me some top secret news that I can't share until Wednesday... ;D My mummy is being a poophead. Everything I do is WRONG WRONG WRONG! Such as- Tangoing in the kitchen with Dana, chopping onions the wrong way, getting home from school. *hnhhgvbfjuyhntfgvb <--- Bangs head on keyboad. *grr* I can't wait to get to Washington. A few days with no pesky sisters, no annoying lil bros, no discouraging and over expecting parents.
Sunday, April 1, 2001 I was planning on writing a nice long entry but Dana is being very annoying, and I have to go help her. Later:If you would stop the world from making sense.
Saturday, March 31, 2001 March is nearly over. Cool. April should go by quickly too. D.C. and spring break. ;D gtg Later: Over. All over. God this is so depressing. Tom Sawyer was so much fun. Nobody would be able to understand what it meant to me to be in that.
Friday, March 30, 2001 Carrie and I had so much fun in the village. I just got home. Its like 11. The shows today went well. The school liked us. As Mike put it, "You guys were good, I slept a little during this one but I slept a lot more during the Music Man." Sure, that made me feel special. ;D Do you ever feel like your secrets give you away? another quote from Lifehouse. OMG Byron just said so how's _______. How the hell does he know who I like? Oh. DAMNIT! He read one of my IMs to Abbee while I was away from my comp. *stupididiotbrothers*
Thursday, March 29, 2001 show went well. i feel unloved again. the last straw was when my parents refused to buy me running shoes. how am i going to be on the track team? Why am I crying? straw that broke the camels back. I gave up swimming. I really want to continue hurdling. I can't without shoes. God, this must seem so materialistic, but it's so important to me. *sob* and this time i am actually crying. not just saying *sob*
Wednesday, March 28, 2001 Happy B-day Taytay. I am so tired. Rehearsal was so tiring. there is a show tomorrow. I was falling asleep upstairs and my mom says, 'why don't you sleep in tomorrow and go to school late? I just looked at her blankly and said, 'we have a show tomorrow at 9, i have to be at school by 8.' *sigh* I WANT TO KNOW IF ANYONE READS THIS. I really want to know if people read this. Please please please tell me.
Tuesday, March 27, 2001 I just caught myself obsessing! Ah! No! *kicksherself* why? This has never happened before to me. Ugh, I know how you feel/felt Abbee!
Monday, March 26, 2001 Rehearsal was so funny. I had to do my quick-backstage-change. Well, it wasn't quick enough and i had to go onstage with no apron, slip, and my dress was unzipped. lol! Later: Two random thoughts: 1. How do you know if someone is flirting with you? 2. Do you ever feel mean for simply thinking a selfish thought?
Sunday, March 25, 2001 I get my puppy tomorrow! Ooh! I want Riley. He's so cute. And Riley is my puppy, not a guy! lol. Anyway, I've fallen in love with Lifehouse. OMG their music is so good. And I don't know, i can like find ways to relate to it. *sigh* Somewhere in Between and Simon are really really good songs! Later:Let me tell you one thing. Today I saw the funniest thing I have EVER seen. Ben, Szymon and Eric all wearing make-up. OMG IT WAS THE BEST. I attacked Ben with a powder puff. And i put Eric's eyeliner on for him. Aww, they looked so perdy. lol! LOL LOL LOL
Saturday, March 24, 2001 I woke up at 6:30 today. I couldn't sleep and I'm not tired. It's weird. I finished watching Dune before Archer woke up. It was good. Arch woke up at about 8:00. Anyway. I did some yoga this morning for my health thing. ;D I think today'll be a good day.
Friday, March 23, 2001 *hurt* I feel hurt. Although, I guess it isn't a good reason to be. Actually, it's a perfectly good reason, but it isn't practical. I'd explain it, but if certain people read this, I'd feel like an idiot. *sigh* *sob* nblm. NOBODY as in nobody, not just guys. *sigh* I feel unloved.
Thursday, March 22, 2001 There is something wrong with me. I flipped out during play practice. Crying, breaking things, yelling at people. What the hell is wrong with me?
Tuesday, March 20, 2001 Please if you are reading this e-mail me. [email protected] I want to know who the people reading about my life are. I want to to know if it is interesting, or if I bore you by my complaining. Please. E-mail me. Later:Bored. Procrastinating. god. Even Later:to quote a new song: my body's weak so just give me a reason. geben Sie mir einen Grund
Monday, March 19, 2001 I have a half day today. It is 11:45, school starts at 12:25. I'll be leaving in about 20 minutes. I got a lot done today. I woke up at 9:00 and finished my math homework and science lab. Then I made a waffle and worked on my periodic table. Then I made macaroni, unpacked my suitcase from camping, got dressed and checked my e-mail twice. All that in 3 hours. I am cool. LoL. There isn't a whole lot to say. I'm in a stable mood right now. None of my usual ranting about my petty teenage problems. LoL. I'm cheerful, and i don't mind going to school today 'cause it is only 4 classes, and i don't have science, which i hate. I have Orchestra (easy), english (usually interesting), Math (always interesting with Ms. Krantz... lol), and Health (boring but easy). So, thats all folks Later: Completely incomplete. Seriously joking. I contradict myself... OK that had nothing to do with anything. Well, except for the completely incomplete part. I am able to relate to that song so well... Everyday a new lyric will pop out at me and I'll go Wow! It's me in a song. *sigh*
Sunday, March 18, 2001 I got my costume for Tom Sawyer. Mrs. DeFauw made an entire dress, decided she didn't like it, and made another one. Awww... I woulda just used the one she didn't like. She didn't have to make TWO. Anyway, I wondering about the dress, it seems 1600s-ish. Who knows, I guess it also seems Aunt Polly-ish. I'll see what Mrs. Raynal says. I also have the mourning outfit which is cool. I get this funny hat/veil thing. Hehe. Das Lassen gehen von allen, die ich habe angehalten an. German is my friend. So are my quotes. Later: Ok, I just had a weird time with Byron, Isabel and their screwy friends... We went to Brian's house to get him, and I wrote HI on his garage door with tape... Then we kidnapped him and took him to 7 eleven where we stocked up on pop rocks and slurpies. We then went to Farmer Jack (or armer ack as the sign said) and we were going to play bowling with a frozen turkey and pop bottles, but instead isabel and i stocked up on toilet paper. Then we went to go bet Brad, but he couldn't come, so we went to Liggett and danced on the field. Weird. Fun. lol. Tuesday, March 14, 2001 Don't you wish you could tell your friends exactly what you think? I never do. But i just did. And now I feel weird. Mean. *grr* oh damn it. Later: nobody can relate to me. that's why i relate to books, music, ideas, etc so often. i obsess easily; dragonbooks, his dark materials. i long to fit in, i try so hard that i mold myself and change, just to act differently around some people. then, for a moment there is a glimpse of myself. i show it to a single person, and it doesn't fit. i end up feeling mean and wrong and oh... ya know? probably not. to quote a song and I don't care if your frickin song, abby. i'm loosing all i've held on to. this just isnt working. i need to stop trying so hard.
Saturday, February 24, 2001 I have a lot to say, but I don't want to.
Thursday, February 22, 2001 Now I'm listening to Manic Monday. lol. This is the best song. Crimson110: i'm bored
FairyFlos6: me 2
Crimson110: ;(
Crimson110: i like the Corrs.
FairyFlos6: yep
Crimson110: ;D
Crimson110: i like Manic Monday too
Crimson110: I just downloaded it. it's the best song. ;P
Crimson110: lol
FairyFlos6: thats an OOLLLDDDD song
Crimson110: i know
Crimson110: i was singing it upstairs so i came down here and downloaded it
FairyFlos6: lol
Crimson110: just another manic monday. wish it were sunday cause thats my funday
Crimson110: Did you watch the Grammies last night?
FairyFlos6: i saw the end of elton john and eminems duet
Crimson110: that was cool.
FairyFlos6: that was really weird
Crimson110: taylor said it was disturbing
FairyFlos6: yeah, do you know that elton john is gay
Crimson110: yea
FairyFlos6: thats why
Crimson110: thats why what?
FairyFlos6: thats why it was weird
Crimson110: oh
Crimson110: ok
Crimson110: I wonder if Archer brushed his hair yet
Crimson110: nope
Crimson110: he's attacking the tangle tamer
Crimson110: unsuccessfully may i add
FairyFlos6: lol
Crimson110: ew. he sprayed it on me
Crimson110: now i'm all sticky
FairyFlos6: lol again
Crimson110: lalalala
Wednesday, February 21, 2001 I love the Corrs! Their song Hurt Before is sooo pretty. ;D Anyway, no school. I finished Mars. I have to find Return to Mars now. Sheesh, where'd Byron put that? Oh well.
Tuesday, February 20, 2001 This person is IMing me, and she won't tell me who she is. Marshmallowy3, anyone know him/her? Here's the IM.
marshmallow3: carlin?
Crimson110: yes
Crimson110: who is this?
marshmallow3: nm, tell you later
Crimson110: uh
Crimson110: please tell me who you are
marshmallow3: in due time i will
Crimson110: I have an insaitable curiosity. tell me now.
marshmallow3: lol, sorry, i can't
Crimson110: why not?
Crimson110: you IM me, and then you won't tell me who you are. I believe I have the right to know who I am talking to.
Monday, February 19, 2001 *grrs* OK. well. *grumble*
Sunday, Februrary 11, 2001 I was confirmed today ;D Isn't that cool? The name I chose was Margaret and now Uncle David keeps calling me Maggie, Magpie, Marge and Margie. It's really annoying. Oh well. lol. I've had the song "There are worst things I could do" from Grease stuck in my head all weekend. I just listened to it on Napster. Now it's on I Hope You Dance. I love this song. It's so pretty, and it is always on the radio. Although, not nearly as much as Like a Bird. Ooh! I have to go open presents now... hehe ;D
Saturday, February 10, 2001 I haven't eaten in 29 hours. I'm not actually that hungry tho, you'd be surprised, I haven't really been hungry at all today, it's weird. I did the fasting thing the Carrie. It was so much fun. We went late night bowling and today we did this scavenger hunt. We had to take pictures of ourselves in certain places all over Grosse Pointe. Some of them included in jail, with a famous person, with a random person in front of their house, with boats, and on a playscape. It was fun. We also had to wear mudmasks, and now I'm going to go take a shower to get the last of that off my face. ;D
Friday, February 9, 2001 Fasting... I'm not really hungry, but I keep reaching for an orange or something, then I remember I can't eat. lol. I feel pretty. LoL. It's weird to say, but it's true. I felt icky when I got home from school, so I took a shower, blow dried my hair, curled it and put on my makeup. Now I feel pretty. Mr. Lucsious isn't on tonight. *sob* but, I won't be home anyway, ;D I have to memorize ALL my lines by WEDNESDAY *coughgoodluckcough* I won't ever do it. ;P Anyway I get this not thing in my stomach whenever I see *him's* current gf. Ooooh, I get so jealous. *grumbles* It's not like I have ANY chance at all, but still, I like to think I do. Blah. ok, bye.
Tuesday, February 6, 2001 Grrr... Abby better be right. They can't last long. Not that I have a chance, but oh grrr
Later: Anonymous e-mails are fun. *giggles*
Sunday, January 28, 2001*happy* Ok... time for a recap- I tried out for the play at school (tom sawyer) and I actually got called back. And then I actually got a role. That was completely unexpected. I have like never acted. I'm Aunt Polly. That makes me verrrry happy. I read through the script and I have to hug like every character! Tom (Ben), Sidney (Michael Kelly), Mrs. Harper (Carrie!), Mary (Abby) and I get to yell at pretty much everyone too. This could be fun... lol. Last night Kenzie had a sleepover party. I got 4 frickin' hours of sleep. *sleepy* Anyway, we went to Laser Edge which was pretty fun, but there was this scary looking, goth, heavy, heavy metal band there. They sucked completely. Anyway, apparently John Raguse and Kenzie are going out? So, John was there but he was like flirting with everyone else at the party. I hate that kid. ugh. I watched Grease with Suzanne in Kenzie's HUGE, COMFY chairs. *ilovethosechairs* Then me, and some other people had an interesting convo with Michelle about Mrs. Krantz and boys. She says they don't get any better in highschool. Then we watched pretty woman. This morning we watched She's All That. That is such a cute movie! Anyway, I got NO sleep. So, I may fall asleep at the keyboard... Byron took Archer and I out to lunch with Isabel and Archer. Archer was really hyper. Isabel and I were trying to persuade Byron to get a new hair cut. He needs it. gg Byron is home from his haircut.
Tuesday, January 16, 2001 Nothing
Monday, January 15, 2001 Have you ever felt like crying for no reason? I do. Anyway. I was looking in the side view mirror at myself in the car. I was wondering what I'd look like as a boy and since it was slightly dark, I could kinda blur out parts of my hair and stuff. I thought I saw Byron looking out at me through the mirror. That freaked me out. I read Ender's Shadow again. I love that book. More than Ender's Game because it has a happy ending. ;D There is one paragraph about Bean, it goes like this (it takes place right after Ender leaves for Command School):
Once Bean identified the problem he was able to control it. He did his breathing and soon fell asleep, his hand rested next to his mouth as if he wasn't sure whether to suck on his fingertips or bite his nails. He was a soldier and if you had asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he wouldn't have known what you meant.
This kid is 6 years old! Does that not break your heart? OMG. It kills me. *sob* Oh, and I have another song to add to my list of associations. You Won't Be Mine by Matchbox 20 (great song) reminds me of The Amber Spyglass. Part of the lyrics go "You will be rich in love and you will carry on, but no, oh no, you won't be mine" See cause Lyra is gone, and she's sad and Will is sad and they can't ever see eachother again. *sob again* I need a life.
Thurssday, January 11, 2001 I am so tired, but that isn't unusual. I'm always tired. I woke up at 6:50 and thought the clock said 7:50. I got freaked out, lol. I don't think. oops! gg
Wednesday, January 10, 2001 Digital presentations again. I hate Front Page Web Editor. The pages look really crappy. If it was just an HTML editor it'd be cool, cause I make too many mistakes that I have to fix in HTML. Although the editors don't always work anyway. I don't think they know iframes. I have an A- in English. ;D Yay. I got a A on one of my essays. I got a C on another ;x Ohwell. Together they average out to a B, so no prob there. 007 is sitting next to me again. What's with that? It's not his seat. It's weird. LoL. I don't get it. Laura invited me into her group for solos and ensambles cause Jessie abandoned me. *sob* LoL. So, It's Me, Laura, Jessie, Caitlen, and Ian. Eh. I don't think Caitlen and Ian like me, but who cares there is noooo way I am doing a solo. Yup yup. *THANK'S LAURA!* Anyway, we went skiing over break. Otsego is getting sooo boring OMG. Boyne was a lot of fun, and Nub's was a blast. We skied from like 10 to 4:30, when the lifts closed. I wonder, if you had a snowmobile and could get up the hill yourself, would you need to buy a lift ticket? That's an interesting thought. LoL. gg. Middeldorf is talking...
Sunday, December 24, 2000 Lucky Abby. She finally is going out with Eric. After she stopped obsessing. Ironic isn't it? Does anyone actually read this? E-mail [email protected] if you do. I'd like to know if I can put more personal stuff here, but if people are actually reading it, then no way. Well, there's a lot to recap. I'll start with the Friday before last... Carrie's mom took us to Jacobsons to get our make up done. I was so hyper, it was insane. I found quite a few expressions for my face I didn't know were possible. LoL. My mom liked how the people at the Chanel counter did my makeup so much she bought me all the makeup. Whoa. Its a christmas present. The dance was a lot of fun 'cept that Carrie got really sad half way through it. I'm not sure why but it may have something to do with 007 (no its not James Bond. *ahem* Thats a code name Carrie and I use for a certain guy...) Anyway, who knows, she wouldn't tell me, but I had fun anyway. I told Carrie who I like before she got all sad. Ends up we agree on that. LoL. Thats how 007 came about. Actually its a really long story and I'm not getting into it. School last week was really boring. 'cept for English because we had sooo much stuff due on Friday. But, now we're on break *finally*. My family went to Church this morning to hear Dana sing. She's so cute, and the only one in my family with a good voice. ;D Ok, well that's all folks.
Thursday, December 7, 2000 Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! It's been snowing since like 2:00! It's 5:00 now. I am so happy!
Saturday, December 2, 2000 I re-read Ella Enchanted and Just Ella. (Two Cinderella remake type books). They are two of my favorite books. Cute, fun books. ;D. One thing that makes those two books so lovable is their more realistic romance. It's not an instant, love-at-first-sight thing like in the original Cinderella. In fact, in Just Ella, Ella doesn't even fall in love with the Prince ;D Do you ever wish your Prince Charming would show up one day? ;x Well, I've been thinking about that. *sigh* I love a tiny bit of romance in a good book. I truly, truly do. I can't express anything very well. It doesn't work. I try and try until either I give up, or burst into sad, hopeless tears. Nobody witnesses this. I keep it bottled up until I'm alone. I'm hopeless. Truly I am.
Tuesday, November 28, 2000 I hate Mrs. Danko. She grades way too harshly and she doesn't explain anything! Erg. I wrote my folktale for English. It's called "How the Sheep got it's Baa" Very original, lol. I went to the dance on Wednesday, I bought this *cute* shirt for it. I finally danced with a guy there too. LoL, I didn't even know him either. Eh, whatever. I'm going to the christmas dance too, my skirt that I'm wearing came in today. Yipee. I wanted to write something here, and I can't remember what... Damn it. Oh well.
Monday, November 20, 2000 Wow. My journal is getting pretty long. My entries have changed in their composition a lot too. Recently I've been writing a random jumble of thoughts from my head. Before that it was an overview of my day. Whatever. Rebecca is playing hangman, with Britney Spears as the hanging person. I hope she loses. Oops. She won. Britney shall live another day. I'm leaving.
Thursday, November 9, 2000 I just don't care anymore. About a lot. I just don't. I can't explain what I mean exactly, and if I could, I wouldn't. *sigh* I need someone to read my thoughts I write down without them having any preknowledge of me at all, and have them not reply. But just as so someone who can't already have judged me can listen. So I know they listen.
Sunday, October 29, 2000 I HATE ESSAYS! Any way shape or form, they are my worst enemy. @#$!&^% I love when we go off daylights savings time, more sleep for me. Zzz... I reread the third Harry Potter book again today. All of it. Cover to cover. That one's my favorite. I need a hobby. LoL. Actually, no i don't I'm busy enough. My lips are chapped, my back hurts, I don't want to write an essay, I don't want to go to school, I ate too much candy. WHINE! I've been in a whining mood a lot lately. I just want to sit down and complain. complain, complain to anyone who'll listen. Although, I don't know anyone who's going to want to listen. Oh well.
Tuesday, October 24, 2000 Tired, must sleep. Tired, must sleep... My head hurts, I can't read because the words are flashing in my head. My face is bright red, I am burning hot, i want to sleep. I feel weak because I got blood drawn. I have to much homework, way too much homework, way to much homework. *sigh* I've been wanting to whine like that all day. I'll leave you alone now.
Friday, October 20,2000 I'm in school again. Not a lot has happened today. I'm wearing my beautious new skirt. I got new Steve Maddens yesterday. ;D *grins* Hmm... I have the feeling I'm going to have a lot of e-mail when I get home considering I didn't check much of it this morning. I'm making an effort to post more on Pangea. I really want to bond at the hatching. I think I'll make a new character sometime soon, although one is enough for me, I don't know how some of the main posters do it. Class is over in two minutes, then it's A2. Yawn. A2 is soooo boring! They should rename it 'Pointless class where the school thinks you're learning things about yourself and other pointless idiotic subjects that would have made sense in kindergarten." GG
Friday, October 13, 2000 Friday the 13! Ooh, spooky. LoL. Nah, not really. Anyway, nothing has happened. I'm bored, swim practice is later. *sigh*
Thursday, October 12, 2000 Yippee! The ER season premeire is on tonight. That makes me extremely happy. JOY! On a less happy note, I've got more evil swim practice with evil Suzette. *sigh* it's time to be sleepy... oops. gtg.
Tuesday, October 10, 2000 *Sleepy* Dan isn't in town so Suzette was running practice today. She's a really good coach, i worked really hard, but I am soooo tired. *sigh* I'll go to bed soon. It's sad. Lyd and I have been having less and less meaningful conversations lately. That's what I loved about talking to her. We could talk about everything and anything. And we did. She always knows how to cheer me up and calm me down and bring my problems out so I can get them off my chest. however recently it's been, "Hi, sup, nothing, nm here either, etc, etc." *sigh* I can't wait til she's at school with me again. I need her so much. She is the friend I will always trust with anything no matter what. I don't trust ANYONE nearly as much as her. In fact I hardly trust anyone else. I never want to drift apart. She told me that what she'd always liked about me was that I was never mad at anyone. She was somewhat right. I get mad. I just don't show it often. I got the 'Good Humor Award' from Mrs. Petersen in 4th grade 'cause she never saw me mad. Nobody really does although lately I've been cracking. It happened at the end of the school year with Leigh, it happened at Laura's party and it happened while I was online a few days ago. I'm holding too much in, than it bursts out all at once and I have everyone mad at me. Well not everyone. Not all the time. But Lydia is the only one who has always stuck by me. We've never gotten into a fight. *sigh again* Have I changed at all in the past three years? I'll have to think about that. I'd say, yea. I try to be less annoying, tag along-y, pestering, etc. I think it's worked. Oh well. K, bye.
Sunday, October 8, 2000 I have decided that online journals are not good. You can't gripe about someone for fear they'll read it. *eep* God, I am tired. But I don't want to go to bed. it's only 10:00 I went camping this weekend. It was 40 degrees at the high. *COLD* 8th grade sucks.
Wednesday, September 20, 2000 Long time, no see. err... No write. LoL. School's started again. :P Not fun. I'm in Digital Presentations currently. I finished the current project. Freetime, hehehe. Anyway. Not much has happened. Well actually, thats not true. Lyd and I have been talking a lot recently. Online that is. Dreams have been a common topic. I've had some weird ones. Such as Dad chasing me up the stairs. And winning a competition for like 15 year olds and killing a murderer with a fork and being extremely sad about it and everyone else thinking I am a hero. I've read Ender's Game too much lately. *sigh* Lyd had a dream she was a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich and benjamin was going to eat her, then Daniel said "No wait! I think Lydia is in there!" LoL! That is the weirdest/funniest dream I've heard in a long time. Anyway. I made her and Leigh read Ender's Game. Have I talked about that book yet? Its soooooo incredibly good. Better than the Dragonbooks. And that it hard to do. ;D Ender's Shadow, The Speaker for the Dead, and Xenocide are up there too. I want to read Children of the Mind, but Byron's friend Puja has it. She's supposed to give it back to him at school today. I WANT IT! I want to know what happens to Ender and Novinha! Is Novinha going to stay all Christian and in the Nun house? So sad. Poor Ender. Poor Planter too. Poor a lot of people. Poor Valentine and Qing Xiao and all those other people. Good for Miro. Bad for Ouanda. *sigh* I love my books. I wish I could litterly force people to read some. They are really, so inctredibly good. All of them. Muh Books. They really are. All the books I read and love become "Muh (My) Books" People think of them and they think of me ranting and raving about how much i loooooove them. Ender's Game,and Ender's Shadow, Speaker for the Dead and Xenocide. ALLLL the Dragonbooks. Dragonflight and Dragonquest, The White Dragon and Dragonsdawn, The Dolphins of Pern and All the Weyrs of Pern. The Masterharper of Pern. The 'Nolly books: Dragonsong, Dragonsinger, Dragondrums. The Renegades of Pern. I miss any? I doubt it. Muh Books. I'll add more to the list as they come. Well. That's that. We're here to tell ya bout scarcity, about making choices and what all people need. So here's the story 'bout lil Joe and how when he was playing he cut his toe! He needed a bandage and a lil neosporin, but nobody could actually get it for him. He had a problem he couldn't figure out, he had a problem that is no doubt. He had ten cents so he went to the store but they didn't have any badaids any more. So he went on home to tell his mama, but all she could find was a couple of bananas. So he ate the banana and he took the peel, wrapped it 'round his toe so it would heal. Usin' what you have, usin what you know, that's the way to fix your toe!---Excerpt from 5th grade economics rap. LoL. There's another verse. I'll do that later. Yep, well. The Pangeas_Dragons is getting good too. ;D Ok. That be all. BYE!
Tuesday, August 29, 2000 Does anyone else think it is strange that the only times I've written this month are on dates that end in 9? Oh well... There's something weird with what I associate things with. Certain books, songs and smells bring back very vivid memories. Sigh... The song "Amazed" always reminds me of Dragonbooks. Particularily Dragonflight. I guess because it would fit soooo well in this one scene. F'lar is going insane cause Lessa is gone and he's having flashbacks of everything she's done and "is amazed by her". Sweet and sappy. Oh well... The song "Little Black Back Pack" by Stroke9 reminds me of sitting in Carol's rented house up north sitting in the window over the stairs reading "Dragonquest" OK! I am dragonbook obsessed. The song "Head Over Feet" by Alanis Morrisette always reminds me of Lyd. :) We used to do cartwheels and stuff to that song. Some of the lyrics go "You're my best friend. Best friend with out a bet" :). The smell of Crayola Scented Markers remind me of 4th grade and a book called "The Ear the Eye and the Arm" by Nancy Farmer. It is such a good book. The song "I don't want to miss a thing" by Aerosmith is my most recent association. I heard it in the car today and started thinking of a recent post on Pangeas Dragons. Raven is sitting there with Nara, knowing she was bitten by a vampire. Knowing she would turn into one any minute. Holding her. Getting ready to kill her if she turned on him with newly grown fangs. Can you imagine that? Having to watch the one you love turning into an undead and then killing her? *Shudders* I almost burst out crying when I heard the song in the car. Just call me emotional. :P Space Camp and my assortment of computers remind me of Ender's Game (READ IT!). That's all my parents fault though. The smell of roses reminds me of France. I don't know why... Sigh. That was all on my mind and I felt like writing it all down. Bye!
Saturday, August 19, 2000 Hmm... Nothing going on. My hatching for Samarah is tomorrow. That'll be fun I guess. Mmm...The harbor lights party was yesterday. JP and Eric were freakish idiots. They tore apart Alexis's monkey. We tricked them into thinking that Liza moved to the Ukraine. Ahh, the gullible idiots. Hehehe
Wednesday, August 9, 2000 Waahh... I just got all the forms for school today. I don't want to go back to school. *sniff* I still have a whole month but it is very depressing. I got my hair cut today. It was just a trim, but it looks so *cute* ;D Yipee. Okie than. Toodles
Friday, July 21, 2000: I just found a submission I sent to a real life zine. I reread it and it made me sad. It's below. It is really hard to express myself. I am not unusually creative and therefore do not have a way to get my feelings out extremely easily. I am bottled up. My only relief is my diary. I try to write poetry to explain myself, but while it may open up into my soul, people say "the vocabulary is screwed up" "it's not creative" "the rhythm is wrong" "it doesn't rhyme". Do I care?! Nobody can understand. On the outside I may be bubbly, hyper and fun, but on the inside I feel left out, excluded, unimportant. I feel so miniscule. I was dumped by an entire group of friends, and I feel drifting from others. It hurts me to think that so many people take this same situation and end it with a gun, pills, or a rope. How could they hurt so many people like that? My thoughts never seem in the same place at once. My subjects change so easily, and I know my writing is choppy. But it feels really good just to dump my problems on a computer screen and instantly send them away, with the click of a mouse button.
I also just found a card I got from Margaret on my 11th birthday. You never would have known what she really thought about me from it. It was all happy cheerful. "From one troublemaker to another, happy birthday. P.S. Remember the roof? Hehe" yea I remember. And it hurts to think about 5th grade. a lot. GOD this completely sucks.
Friday, July 14, 2000: I get my braces off in three weeks. That means before school pics. YAY! Palmer asked me out online today. I'm seriously hoping it was a joke. I said no *duh*. I hate babysitting... It gives me the creeps. Being home. Alone. I keep hearing noises so I go into my basement turn on napster and put on the headphones. Ahhhh all scary noises are no longer "hearable". I wish Dana and Taytay would get home soon... I wish Byron wasn't outwest. I truly do miss him. Not that I'd ever tell him, or anyone for that matter. *sigh* I feel sad. I can't figure out why. I wish someone were here. Too bad Archer fell asleep. He isn't the best person to talk to. Someone's upstairs. EEK! Ok. I'm gonna go creep upstairs...
Saturday, July 8, 2000: The 4th Harry Potter book came out today. Amazon.com delivered it to me at 8:00 in the morning. I then read nonstop until 10:00 at night. I finished the book :) LoL It was 750 pages. Lovely good too. My sister is now reading my copy of the book and Byron is reading his own copy. I have been dying to tell someone who dies. My bro and sis keep on discussing "I think it'll be one of the twins. No point having two identical characters" "What if it was Hagrid? Or McGonagall?" "I seriously doubt it was Ron. It's too early for him to die" "Carlin! I think I know who it is... Cedric Diggory." Of course I am sitting there with my hands over my mouth squealing and mumbling. I have a hard time with secrets. Well Byron was right. it is Cedric, but i smiled and forced myself not to laugh and Byron said I was lucky, cause he couldn't read my expressions like he could Taylor's. He couldn't tell if i was laughing cause he was right or wrong. LoL. I have the same reactions no matter what. Happy, bouncy, AND BURSTING TO BLAB. I had to tell someone so I thought a nonhuman computer might work. sorta. well it has. sorta. UGH! Has nobody else finished it yet? Probably not. In 5 minutes it will have been released for exactly 24 hours. HMMPH. Oh well. Poor Carlin who has had NOTHING to do today but read. Sheesh. Goodbye.
Sunday, July 2, 2000: Happy birthday to me a day late. I am tired. hanging at the pool all day is actually extremely tiring. Is it really almost 8:00? Whoa. I gotta eat dinner... Hmmm... Ok bye.
Thursday, June 29, 2000: I went to the 7:30 practice again and I am tired again. You'd think I'd have learned by now not to go to that practice. I want to make a new site. But I don't feel like actually making it. I just want to have it. LoL. Ok Bye
Tueday June 27, 2000: I am so tired. I went to the 7:30 practice this morning. We have a meet later so they didn't work us *too* hard. I feel kinda sneaky for some reason... I dunno. It was funny, last night I was talking to this person in the same weyr as me. I think she's like 30. She doesn't know my real age, and I ain't telling her. Anyway. *sigh* sleepy time...
Saturday June 18, 2000: I went to Cedar Point yesterday. Ooh, fun fun. The Millenium Force was soooo fun. And we only had a 1 hour wait! Thats really short, i was told the line was 4 hours. The 80 degree drop was cool, i felt my stomach flip flop. The Mantus was boring, so was the Gemini. The Magnum is one of muh faves and the Raptor broke. Again. It's broken every time I've tried to go on it! I am bad luck. Peggi and I went on Snake River Falls 3 times, there wasn't a single line! We were sopping wet the whole way home. The power tower was really cool too. I didn't wear any shoes on it... I was sitting 240 feet in the air shrieking "I'm not wearing any shoes! What the heck is wrong with this. I am sitting 240 feet in the air without any shooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeessssss." At that point we started to fall. LoL. The demon drop didn't have any line 'cos people went on the power tower instead. That was cool too. The meanstreak was hilarious because it was soooo wobbly, which made it quite uncomfortable... Anyways, i just listed like every ride I went on cept for a few. OOOOOOOOKKKKKKK that was probably boring. Am I right? Well I wrote another part of my story. Actually I did it a while ago. I'll post it below. I went to TCBY to get ice cream *YUM* and Chris Peplin rides by. I then get on the internet and he IMs me and is like "were you just in the village?" yes "eating ice cream?" yes "oh". That kid is annoying and completly weird. I still don't know why the heck he cares whether or not i eat ice cream. I've written like a lot today. Hmm... Ok well ToodleZ.
Meranah watched as the two young dragons repetitively tangled up in eachother. She hoped niether would injure themselves in attempt to find their lifemate. Someone moved in front of her, spoiling her view. Annoyed, she moved to where she could see the cracking eggs. Suddenly the cluster of candidates broke apart as the small green dragon searched for the one she wanted. All Meranah could do was stare as the dragon plopped herself down in front of her and looked lovingly upward.
{{It�s me, Lerenth! Won�t you please be mine?}}
[[Oh! Of course!]] Meranah didn't even have time to speak the words as they flowed from her mind to Lerenth's.
{{I am sooo hungry...}}
"Oh! Of course! Let's get you some food"
Meranah couldn't help grinning as she lead Lerenth from the Hatching Ground, not even noticing the burning of her feet. After finding Lerenth a try of meat, she settled down under a tree, one hand holding the tray.
[[Don't eat too fast! You'll choke!]]
{{But I am sooo hungry...}} Lerenth reluctently slowed her eating.
When Lerenth was finished eating, Meranah could feel how tired the young green was and soon they were both sound asleep under the tree.
Thursday June 15, 2000: Happy Birthday, Suzanne! Today was the last day of school. I am finally an eighth grader! Coolness. Suzanne and I got seats on the edge so that we could dash into the eighth grader's seats. Fun fun. We all wore dresses like we said we would. It was like a bet or something. Whatever. I went to Leigh and Laura's party. There was another party going on too and we "mingled" that's Suzanne's word. hmmm... Anyway it was fun, my nose is sunburned. I refuse to use sunblock. I swear, one of these days I am gonna get skin cancer, but hey! I like tans. My yearbook is signed full. Lotsa siggys. Anyway nothing more happenin'. ToodleZ all and HAPPY SUMMER!
Wednesday June 14, 2000: Tomorrow is the last day of school. I am so happy to become an eighth grader. The announcements today put it perfectly "Well eighth graders, your at the bottom of the pile again, freshman. 7th graders you have rule of the school now. And 6th graders.... well you'll be seventh graders." I am still mad at Leigh. She just doesn't seem to get it. She isn't mad at me but honestly! I've lived with that "I'm right, you're wrong" thing for too long. I wish she'd apologize or something. I just can't feel happy and bouncy around her. I apologized in a note yesterday and she said nothing about it. UGH! How utterly annoying. When I was crying to Lyd last night on IM, she rode over to my house to talk to me at 9:00. She is sooo sweet! :) She is the bestest friend I could ever ask for. Awwww, now i feel kinda sad. I need her at Pierce. Everyone is leaving me... Later: Hmm.. talkin with Abby, thinkin about nothin in particular. She seems to change moods often. First it was sad, than elated, now worried. Sheesh. I had an interesting convo with Dana. She makes no sense and is very humorous to talk to. I wonder what she's gonna say to mom... D'oh. Next time someone remind me that too many vanilla wafers=tummy ache. Ugh. I am getting bored of all my fav songs. Napster has some bad points, such as listening to music too often. I gotta run. ToodleZ
Tuesday June 13, 2000: I am currently at school. It is soooo hot. Suzanne's reading my site :) Emily is kinda annoying me. Anyways... Nobody is in our foods class, so we got to go to the computer lab. Fun fun. I am having a terrible day. Leigh and I got into a huge fight. Laura is mad at me and is Suzy really my friend? I was yelling at everyone and I am in a really bad mood. Suzanne has been a saint. She is really nice and trying to cheer me up. I can't stand having people mad at me. Right when I get the Allison thing resolved (sorta) everything blows up in my face. ARGH! The one thing I can look foward to this week is getting outta school and CEDAR POINT. YAY!
Monday June 12, 2000: I am happy. I impressed a green dragon, Lerenth. That makes me happy. Anyway, thats all part of muh lil online weyr thing. So... nothing happened today in school. It was probably the most boring school day I've ever had. Hmmm... I can't wait to be an eighth grader next year. Be able to pick on my lil 6th grade sis. hehehe... She comes home today. Poop. I liked having my own room. I say, keep her in France. humph. ToodelZ
The next two hatchings were a bit confusing. Two eggs, relatively the same
size, started rolling towards each other at the same time. Within moments,
they collided and both eggs shattered revealing the contents in each. From
what remained of the pinkish egg came a sea green dragonet and the cream
colored egg revealed a sky blue dragonet. Both looked at each other,
shaking their heads to clear them from the collision. Looking at the crowd
of candidates standing around, each spotted the one they wanted and headed
straight for them at the same time. Unfortunately for them, each one that
they chose, happened to be on the opposite side of each other, causing them
to come crashing against each other again. The little blue got up and made a
beeline for his choice before the green moved again, and skidded to a halt
in front of Zeylin.
{{Hi, I�m Drayth. Sorry it took me so long to get here, I seem to have a
problem of running into my clutchmates. Can we go eat now?}}
The green sat for a few more moments to catch her breath before starting off
again. Loosing site of the brown hair girl frightened the green and she
immediately stood and ran towards the area where she spotted her last.
Flapping her wings wildly, she forced the candidates that were too close to
skitter out of the way, till the only one left was the one she sought.
Plopping down on the sands again, a bit tired from the fiasco, she looked up
lovingly to Meranah.
{{It�s me, Lerenth! Won�t you please be mine?}}
Meranah to Green Lerenth (THATS ME!)
Sunday June 11, 2000: Nothing happened yet. It's only 11:00. Abby is apparently elated. I am listening to music. I don't think anyone really reads this anyway. It's more for my benefit. I always like writing down everything I've done, wahts happened and how I feel. I have had the same diary since 3rd grade, and it's in 3 parts. All the books I like the most always fall apart. Humph. Just like my I mean Leigh's dragonbook. I killed so badly she said i could keep it. i should try that strategie more often. I have had a really good weekend, a lot has happened but yet hardly anything has happened. I haven't left the house much and I've been pretty lazy, but I dunno. I wrote three parts to my story, I am waiting for the hatching to be over to write the 4th. I got along with Byron all weekend *wow*. I talked to a lot of my friends and I just feel really good. So I dunno. OK ToodleZ Friday June 9, 2000: I had another good day :) It was soooo incredibly hot, yeesh. i went to swim practice (ahh nice cool water). None of the peeps I knew were there but that was great with me. They are all Tay's age and I need my own friends! There was this girl, Michelle, who I met. She's almost 14. Anyway, I hung at the club for a while, I babysat Archer and earned $7.50. There was also this lady I met there who apparently lives behind me. She wants me to babysit her 20 month old this summer. MORE MONEY! Abby is currently sobbing and yelling at herself to me. I am trying to cheer her up. Notice the word trying. I wrote another short story thing for the online weyr. Both of em are below. ToodleZ
Meranah was more than nervous as she half stepped, half fell out of the Telgar WeaverCraftHall into the brilliant midday sunshine. As her head snapped up to the brown dragon 50 meters ahead of her, her nervousness ebbed and was replaced with a frightening excitement. She looked back to Leila with a pleading look of "save me". All she recieved in return was an encouraging smile and a wave. Meranah let herself be directed closer to the frightening creature ahead of her, but with short, choppy steps and wobbly legs. She tried to recap on what had happened in the past hour...
A call went up through the courtyard; an excited call. All heads swung up to the sky and Meranah rushed to her window. A wing of dragons were was circling to land on the field below, the field she had just spent hours cleaning. With an annoyed sigh, she shut her window and went back to her studying.
Not even a half hour later, loud excited voices came closer to her quarters, and a loud, hard rap was issued against her solid wood door. She rose from her bed, crowded with notes and other materials from previous lessons, unlatched the door, forcfully and swung it open. Standing before her was Master Mervere and a tall man with noticably tanned skin whom she had never seen before.
"Excuse me if I am interrupting anything," he began, "But if you would please accompany me downstairs, or if we could step in here... ".
"Oh, well my quarters are slightly cramped and well, quite unorganized at the time. I think we'd better step into a larger room", Meranah fumbled over her words, she was quite uncomfortable in the company of any adult, much less this complete stranger. There was something about him she decided; a way that he silently seemed to demand courtesy and respect.
"Of course, than we shall step downstairs. What I have to say won't last long."
Meranah silently followed this man, Master Mervere leading the way for both of them into a small den.
"First, I'd like to introduce myself. My name is K'der, rider of bronze Yarseth. You may or may not have heard that a clutch has been laid at Mornings Dawn Weyr. My wing has been sent on search to find suitable candidates for Melianth's clutch. You, Meranah have been searched out."
Meranah was speechless. She stared at K'der, blinked, shook her head and managed to studder out, "M..Me?"
"Yes, you, Meranah", Mervere chimed in, "It will be a shame to lose you. You were a wonderful apprentice, but go! This is a wonderful chance for you."
"Will you come with me back to Mornings Dawn?"
Meranah was suddenly so filled with hope she was no longer shy of the bronze rider. Slowly she opened her mouth and "Yes" bubbled out from her lips. With a small smile K'der nodded. The clutch is due to hatch quite soon. We shall be departing in approximately an hour."
"Leila!," Master Mervere bellowed down the corrider.
"Sir?"
"Help Meranah pack a bag; she's leaving shortly", Mervere answered quickly, "I need a word with K'der before they go", and with that he was off and down the hallway.
Leila shrugged and jogged up the steep wooden stairs. Meranah's door was ajar, so Leila let herself in and made a mental note to herself to tell Meranah to tidy up. Then she remembered Master Mervere's instructions, "Help Merahan pack a bag", but where was she going?
"Meranah?"
"Hmm? Oh, Leila!," Meranah emerged from behind a chest, "Will you help me pack? I haven't much time".
"But where are you going?"
"I've been searched to go to Mornings Dawn Weyr!"
"Oh, Meranah. That's wonderful."
"Is it really?", Meranah suddenly had one of her frequent mood swings, " I am so nervous. What if I make a fool of myself? What if..."
"What if the sun goes out tomorrow and we all freeze?" Leila interrupted, "We'll deal with it when we get there, Mer." Meranah sighed and Leila finished packing for her. "Come on Mer, let's get you downstairs."
With a deep breath, Meranah continued walking, this time with a steadier gait.
"This is Cameth, Meranah, he and N'vas will take you to the weyr", K'der said in her ear before striding to his own beast. Meranah grabbed hold of the arm extended down toward her and managed, not easily, to pull herself up asride the dragon. With a steady leap and several downbeats with his arms, the dragon was aloft and soon after they were all enveloped between.
Next part...
Meranah stood off to the side of the other candidates, watching them. Two of them were giggling uncontrollably and Meranah couldn't help smiling while she watched them. Soon three candidates were giggling and Meranah began to feel less tense. She knew hardly anyone's name and wasn't going to dare ask them. She sighed to herself, wishing she had more courage, but for now she was perfectly content where she was, observing. Besides even if she did know everyone else, she was too nervous right now to have a conversation. She took a deep breath, relaxed her shoulders and waited for the hatching to begin.
Thursday June 8, 2000: I feel so proud of myself. I guess I don't have that great of a reason to, but I do. If you know me well, than you know I am obsessed with this one series of books. Well anyway I joined this online Weyr thing (it has to do with the book) it's a role playing game/site/thing. You have to write stories about your character and I finished one and I think it's good. Everybody I show it to likes it, but can't really understand it because they haven't read the books. So, I am proud of myself for writing a cool lil short story. Cheesy, eh? Ah, oh well. Student council results were announced today. Ben is secretary *smiles*. Kristen Shultes is treasurer (she really deserves it), Lia Simcina is V.P. and Michelle Fikany is president. Oh well I liked 1/2 the results. We had field day today and i won every single one of my events *yay!* that makes me feel proud too. I've had a good day. That always cheers me up. Hmm gotta go. ToodelZ
Tuesday, June 6, 2000: Suzanne and Libby are humorous. They wrote notes to Jay and Dave R-R telling them they liked them. They didn't really get a response yet. They both claim they lost their notes. I nearly got a heart attack today. Suzanne tol me she asked Ben out for me. I could've crushed her head. Then she said she was kidding. HAHA. I talked to Lyd yesterday. she invited me to cedar point with her. YIPPEE! and i might get to miss 1/2 day of school on friday because of it. school gets out soon :) I went to somerset today and I felt like such as Grosse Pointer. GOD.
ToodleZ
Tuesday, May 15, 2000: we won the festival in Chicago! *YIPPEE* fun fun. anyway i had so much homework last night and i stayed up til 11;15 finishing it. i am dead tired. i have yet another track meet today and i had one yesterday too. we lost. badly. we have a completely defeated season. You know what really makes me mad? People who hurt my friends *cough*Allison*cough* Just wanted to say that. i have to get my bottom braces today :(
Wednesday, May 10, 2000: i was so tired today. I stayed up late last night so i could see my godmother who came in from chicago. track practice was cancelled afterschool today. *YIPPEE!* hmmm... i have nothing to say so maybe i'll write more later.
Tuesday,May 9, 2000: whew! another exhausting day. i am much too busy. i had swim practice for 1 hour and 45 minutes. i haven't been swimming for about 3 weeks so i am out of it but i gotta get ready for the summer season. i have to babysit tonight and i just don't feel like it. humph. s'all very depressiating. i got spacers in my lower teeth and have to get braces next week, BAH! didja know i'm a very insecure person? well i am, i don't know who i am talking to so if ya didn't know i thought i'd tell you. i mean all my friends are like "I LIKE BOB!" or "I LIKE JOE!" and i stay silent. insecuriation (new word...) hmmmm.... ToodleZ Carlin
Monday, May 8, 2000: ugh, what an exhausting day. my hip bones *ache*. we had a track meet today, and lost. as usual. this time only by one point. the stupid officials messed up my hurdles and gave me the wrong kind! ugh, what fools. anyway, i feel like a have something to do, and i don't know what! it's utterly annoying. Archer (lil bro) is driving me insane. he won't leave me alone. he is insisting on watching this *evil* wee sing tape which i have seen so many darn times i have memorized one of the dances in it. school today sucked, as usual. although orchestra isn't too bad cause we get to go to six flags in chicago on friday. *YAY*. by the way, everyone like my new site? ToodleZ for now, Carlin
