Picture HK - National day - lanterns everywhere. Alice happy, even Claire gave me a smile - I knew Berger was going to make runs! Hasn't hit one in front of square for a quite a while, our Berger. Magnificent weather - all you bastards that have returned to Oz and old Blimey eat your hearts out - cricket in October/November HK - remember !!
The toss is crucial at the gap. Win and it allows the fielding team to have a few relaxing beers while the lads get on with it in the middle. Lose the toss and everybody is flufing about dropping catches and getting hot.
I am currently on a roll. I have now learned that 'numbers' is the call. I have been fucked around for 4 years since they took the head off! I was given a choice of coins - a pesata or HK$10 - the latter thank you and I'll go the 'chin', multi m'gois - Boothy is skipper of Witherers. 4 centuries in 4 knocks himself. He is an Australian. Thought I would make him feel at home. I put it this way: 'You and your lads can run around in the sun while Rodders and I enjoy an ale and Stead and Berger
tan your hides, now piss off and start fielding practice because you will be doing plenty'. I'm sure it is what Steve Waugh would have said to the Poms if he could gather that many words in his brain.
They bowled and they bowled, in-swingers, cutters, offies and Chinamen but only because it was National Day. Berger and Stead absolutely impenetrable; Berger, himself a broad smile when he walked to the wicket. First wicket falls at 177, as you would expect, playing on the grass at the Gap and CCC batting first.
The marvellous thing about HK cricket is the magnificent incompetence that accompanies talent. Berger who really is like a cat on a hot tin roof calls Stead (just the 92 off 53 balls in 58 mins - thanks Alice) for a quick single to silly mid-off and it goes to his right hand and yes, the fielder is right handed. Bugger off Stead you were slowing us down. Good call Nigel, there was probably 2 in that if they hit the stumps and there was an unfortunate ricochet.
Of course the Berger was a little pissed off - which is good because he bats at his best then and thrashed the bowling for an imperial 75. The Doc, Crap Gamblers reject, perfect for CCC, belted 16 off the 10 balls he was offered.
CCC a scrambling 219 for 4.
Of course Weatherman has been dropped because he has shaggers back.
Jet from the service station end and Fothers from the swimming pool. Fothers cleans up Melloy in his first over, thank you. He's not bowling badly after being refused the opportunity to go to the nets and forced (minimal) to drink a Philippine San Mig instead of finding a length, astute captaincy - yet another tip for Rodders to learn about the art of domestic skippering. Anthony Booth came in and pissed around for a fair while until he played the best shot of his life when he stroked one to cover where the skipper moved one way then the next and then was carried off the ground. Now I know that you would like to know the medical ins and outs of this, but suffice it to say I was in fucking agony. Thank you to those who carried me off the ground.
When I left Witherers were rooted - at 59 for 1 in the 15th over.
Stead, HK rep and super star took over (but please make allowances, little domestic Saturday experience). When I returned I had the extreme please of watching Berger drop Boothy on 60 followed by Grocer drop him on 75 and 88 - yes twice, thank you, and thanks to Alice who faithfully record every missed chance. These were not diving miracle chances, just your regulation CCC in and out, the sort we CCC skippers have come to love over the years. Boothy, the only guy capable of hitting it off the square, went on to make a CCC-assisted 118 no. In the end they needed 3 to win off the last ball.
Grocer's mate, whose mind was elsewhere because of police harassment and the bunch of airline tickets in his pocket, bowled a great last over. Yes they made 2, but the boyos came away proudly with a TIE at the GAP and an undertaking from Grocer's mate not to fly Cathay. A victory all round really.
To those of you who helped me over the fence on Saturday, my sincere thanks. I must say I was not really with it, early on because of the pain and later because of a combination of medications and carlsberg.
Anyway guys and Alice, thanks. You will be disappointed to know that I may return this season.
Best comment: There was a loud 'crack' sound as I went down in a heap and I thought I had broken my hip but the pain was not severe enough when I weight bear and so I asked in general conversation from where my team-mates thought the 'cracking sound' originated. Weatherman answered, "Me clapping"!
Watching you have an orgasm on the edge of the square will remain with me for a life-time. Now I know why they shoot horses! Hope the pain has gone and you are on the road to recovery.
Do you want me to bring, along with the sandwiches and beer, some WD40 for the wheel chair at oour next game?
