Disclaimer: Do I really have to say this?
Written: 08/01
Author's note: This was a dream I once had about J/C one night
and I couldn't get it out of my mind, because it was left open.
Thanks to Kayryn Shadow for helping me fix it.
Rated: PG
 
 

It was late at night when I entered my quarters. I had gone into my
bedroom to take off my uniform, when I saw him lying in my bed.
Wrapped in my covers, my pillow tight in his arm and he was sound
asleep. I was surprised and wondering what the hell he was doing
in my bed!!!
I stepped closer and looked down at him. He looked so at peace,that
I didn't have the heart to wake him. Instead I continued to watch him
and only then did I notice how tight he really held my pillow in his
arms. He lay on his side and had it pressed against his chest, both
arms securely wrapped around it.

I don't know why but somehow it touched me deeply seeing this.
Did he imagine that the pillow was me? The ancient legend he told
me on 'new earth' popped up in my mind. "The true meaning of peace..."
was it possible, that after all these years I still had the power to give
him that peace, even when he was only sleeping in my bed? Was he
still loving me? One look at him was enough to know the answers...

I had a hard time suppressing the urge to bend down to touch his
cheeks or to run my fingers through his hair, so I simply watched him
a bit longer, watching his steady breathing and the peaceful look on
his face. I smiled.

I settled down with a woollen blanket, on the couch in the living area
then and watched the stars passing by through the window. I knew
at this moment that I still loved my angry warrior too.

He woke me up early next morning, whispering my name and gently
shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes and saw that he had squatted
down beside me. He looked embarrassed and guilty.
"Kathryn, I'm sorry!", he said. "It wasn't my intention to fall asleep in
your bed. I came to your quarters last night because I felt restless,
we haven't talked privately since that attack two days ago and I
wanted to check on you. The computer told me you were in your
quarters but you didn't answer the door nor my hails. I got worried
and used my override to let myself in. I noticed your combadge on the
table in your bedroom  and decided to wait for you to come back. I sat
down on your bed and felt so tired after almost 45 hours of working.
I can't remember but I must have fallen asleep then." He blushed and
avoided my eyes. But I smiled.

"I was on my way to bed when I noticed that I had forgotten my PADD
in the messhall. I rushed out again to get it. I had already removed
my combadge, but I didn't care, because I was off duty and thought I
would be back soon anyway. Neelix was tidying up when I entered the
messhall and we started talking---and you know Neelix--- he doesn't
know when to stop!" Chakotay smiled slightly at this, but still couldn't
look into my eyes.

"It was very late when I came back. I saw you lying in my bed,
sound asleep."

I reached out my hand and my fingers lifted his chin to forced him
to look into my eyes. He winced at my touch, then trembled and I could
almost feel the deep emotions myself which gushed through his whole
body, now clearly open to me.

"You looked so at peace that I didn't have the heart to wake you..."

He sighed and closed his eyes for a brief moment, fighting for words
and the truth.

"It... was so comfortable...your scent surrounded me...I felt calm...
at peace... yes. I immediately drifted off to sleep...feeling safe."

He swallowed and became aware that I still held his chin. Fear rose
up in his eyes that I would push him away, but I didn't. I did what I
had been longing to do all night...
My fingers wandered up his head, ran though his hair and I felt him
tremble again, when I whispered: "my angry warrior".

When he suddenly pulled back, I thought at first he would leave and
it hurt, but then he came closer and I moved over on the couch to let
him join me. I snuggled against his chest and he crushed me into his
arms, held me tight and rolled on his back, pulling me with him to lay
on top. I buried my face into his neck, his hands pressed me against
him, our legs intertwined. I heard him inhaling deeply the scent of my
hair and I felt him relax.

"I love you", he whispered after long minutes of just holding me.
This final confirmation of his feelings brought pure joy to me and I
knew then that time was unable to change it. We would always love
each other. "I love you too", I whispered back.

Not much later we fell asleep---both at peace in each other's arms.
 
 

The end