Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek Voyager and all it's characters.
Written: 04/01
Rated: NC-17!!!
Author's note: I struggled a lot with this! Seems muse was on shore leave too...
Thank you to Kayryn Shadow, Sheri, Kayla and Shayenne for ideas, describtions, help
and encouragement. Thanks to rest of klub. And D! Go on with splish splash with the guns
in hot tub... ;)
 
 

Kathryn Janeway entered her quarters feeling tired and frustrated after too long a day. Cursing quietly,
she carelessly threw a PADD onto the sideboard, grabbed her uniform jacket to pull it off and hurled it
over the armrest of the couch. The jacket got a death glare when it didn't remain there but slid to the
ground. Only then did she notice that she wasn't alone.

Chakotay had waited for hours for her to come. When he could tell that she wasn't going to keep their
date, he had started to work on a few reports for her at her desk. Now he was looking at her, worried
and questioning.

"Don't tell me now, that we had a date, Chakotay."

Chakotay nodded.

"We had, for dinner."

"I forgot that completely. I'm sorry but I really need to be alone---I'd like you to go."

Chakotay got up, walked towards her stopping close in front of her. Slowly and carefully he laid his
hands on her shoulders and looked even more worried.

"And would you mind telling me what's wrong?"

She was slightly nervous when she was reminded, once again, just how well he knew her.
So well in fact that even as she was trying to sound angry to make him leave, he knew there
was more to her words than that. It was more than she could take and she freed herself more
fiercely than she had intended from his hands.

"Leave me alone!"

Chakotay wasn't prepared for her reaction and backed away, hurt and disappointed. Wordlessly he
set off to leave her quarters. He had already reached the door when she suddenly caught up with
him and grabbed his arm.

"Dammit, Chakotay! I'm still doing this to you."

Chakotay stopped and looked at her.

"When we started a relationship I swore to myself that I would never reject you again; I didn't want
to hurt you any more but now I've done it again. I'm sorry, Chakotay!"

When he saw the regret and the pleading in her eyes, he pulled her, still wordlessly, into his arms and
held her tight. This time she didn't resist. Kathryn felt his body and his hands on her back, roaming
calmly to ease her strain. She relaxed more and more, then. She put her head on his shoulder, closed
her eyes and took some deep breaths. After a while he lifted her chin with his fingertips and looked at her.

"Are you going to tell me now what's wrong?"

Kathryn hesitated. For years she had hidden her feelings behind the mask of the captain. Alone
here in the DQ this had been a difficult dance on thin ice and had tormented her most. But Chakotay
had made her realize that she wasn't alone and that she could trust him boundlessly. Their resultant
relationship was pretty new, unfamiliar and still a little uncomfortable to her, but when she looked up
into his dark loving eyes, she couldn't help but open herself to him.

"I feel so awful..."

She closed her eyes and bent her head back, shaking slightly. Chakotay's hands slowly went up to
her shoulders and massaged them carefully.

"I can count the hours I've slept in the last few days on one hand. I've barely eaten anything, just
drunk a vast amount of coffee and this headache will kill me soon..."

Kathryn could suppress a sob, but not the single tear which ran down her cheek. Chakotay
stopped his massage only to pull her back tight into his arms.

"...and we hardly have seen each other because of the different shifts. I missed you, but i
nstead of being happy, finally to be together with you, I pushed you away..."

"I have already forgiven you that."

Kathryn looked up to him.

"You always show so much understanding towards me..."

"I love you, Kathryn..."

Another tear escaped her eye and he carefully reached out his thumb to wipe it away.
She closed her eyes again and leant her head back against his shoulder. After a long time of
just holding her, he pulled her with him to the couch and laid her down. He squatted down next
to her and watched her, still worried. She looked pale, eyes tired.

"You're exhausted and need some rest, Kathryn! The repairs are almost done, nothing serious
anymore, so I want you to take a day off and join the next group for shore leave tomorrow.
Kumpan is a very beautiful planet, lots of crew members told me."

"I can't!"

"Oh, you can and you will, or I'll be forced to inform the doctor about your condition and he can
make that an order, you know..."

"Don't you dare!"

Chakotay smiled.

"That's blackmail!"

"I know."

Chakotay bent forwards and kissed the tip of her nose, still smiling.

"So you agree?"

He looked deep into her eyes and she only nodded.

"Good."

When he kissed the tip of her nose again, she grabbed the back of his head and pulled him
down, to kiss him on his mouth. The kiss was gentle but grew more and more passionate.
Breathless they separated after a long while.

"Stay tonight, Chakotay."

Chakotay smiled again.

"I want you to rest. If I stay you'll be more exhausted than you are already..."

"But it's been a while..."

"I know..."

They kissed again and even though it was difficult for him, he pulled away and stood up.

"Oh, there is another thing. You have to put Tuvok in command..."

Chakotay ignored her questioning look and walked towards the door.

"...because I have the day off tomorrow too. I'll pick you up at 0900 hours."

And before she could protest he was out of the door.
 

"Good morning!"

Chakotay entered Kathryn's quarters. He was dressed in black pants and in a white
shirt and wore one of his irresistible smiles on his face. He was sure she would still be
upset because he had forced her to take the day off, but one look at her was enough to
tell him that this wasn't the case. She had put on the light-blue dress, he loved so much
and smiled back at him.He put down the basket he was carrying in his hands and closed
the distance between them.

"You look better today. Slept well?"

He ran his fingers gently through her hair and Kathryn nodded.

"Very well after one of my favorite bath sessions. But now tell me, where are you going
to take me?"

She pointed at the basket.

"That is a surprise!"

He took her hand, grabbed the basket and pulled her with him.

"You'll see, come on."

#####

The air was filled with the gentle sound of splashing water as the stream tripped down
the hillside in a series of small waterfalls. The water tumbled over the rocks throwing
up droplets to sparkle in the sunshine before finally reaching the base of the hill where
the end of the cascade was hidden by a fine mist that caught the light and scattered it
into tiny rainbows. A pool of clear blue water lay at the base of the waterfall, the ripples
from the stream fading to a glassy stillness. The pool lay in the middle of a grassy clearing,
the short turf was sprinkled with wild flowers which released a soft fragrance into the
warm air. It was a perfect place to relax.

"Oh Chakotay! This is beautiful!"

Kathryn went to the edge of the pool and watched the water cascading down, lost in thoughts.
He put down the basket and smiled, then he spread out a blanket on the soft grass, sat down
and emptied the basket.

She didn't hear him come and was startled when she felt his strong arms securely wrapped
around her waist from behind, but she immediately relaxed at his touch and laid her arms
on his. He rested his chin on her shoulder and together they continued to watch the waterfall for
a while.

"Do you feel like having a second breakfast? I guess your first was only a cup of coffee this morning?"

When she only nodded, he took her hand and led her to the blanket.
 

#####

"What is all this about?"

"Oh, I won't tell! Make yourself comfortable and wait."

Again Chakotay was surprised when Kathryn stretched out on the blanket without any
further questions or pleads to tell her, but he knew she was curious as hell. She only propped
her head up on one elbow, enjoyed the sun and watched him.

He poured liquid batter into a pan and placed it on the activated burner, then he disclosed
the secret.

"I'm going to make us crêpes."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, Tom gave me the recipe."

"Tom?--- of course, who else?"

Kathryn smiled and Chakotay turned the crêpes with a spatula. Then he spread chocolate
nut cream on a crêpe and folded it. He put the hot crêpe on a napkin and moved on his
knees closer to her and sat down. She still laid there, head propped up on one elbow, smiling.
He looked down at her, eyes locked.

"Mmmmm, that smells good..."

She got up then and snuggled up against him, her head into his lap.

"You said I need some rest--- I have now--- so feed me!"

Smiling, he carefully ripped off the first piece of the crêpe with his fingers, brought it to her mouth
and put it in. She closed her eyes and sighed when she felt the sweet chocolate nut cream on her
tongue.

"Mmmmm, and it's delicious too--- more!"

He ripped off the next piece, then another. In the meantime the chocolate nut cream had liquefied
in the hot crêpes and already covered all his fingertips. She noticed this when he was on his way
with the next piece to her mouth. She opened her mouth, let him in and immediately shut it again,
so that his fingertips were captured between her lips and teeth. She finished chewing the crêpes,
then her tongue darted out to lick and lips sucked to clean his fingertips. Chakotay looked down
at her and his eyes darkened. The sensual nibbling and sucking was sending frissons of feeling
coursing through his body and sent him helplessly into the spiral of arousal.
She released his fingers and he continued to rip off pieces to feed her. He made sure that his fingers
were covered with chocolate nut cream again and again and every time she licked and sucked it away.
They both knew what they were doing. Soon the crêpe was eaten up and they looked at each other
again, eyes full of lust.

"More?"

Kathryn nodded but grabbed his neck with her hands as soon as he made the first movement
to leave her. She pulled him down to her, his hands went around to take hold of her head and
shoulders when he lifted her. Slowly he closed the remaining distance and kissed her. He could
still taste the chocolate nut cream when his tongue entered her mouth to meet hers. He wanted
to taste more and deepened the kiss, his tongue thoroughly searching every corner of her mouth.

Both moaned when they separated to catch their breath. He put her down into his lap once more
and she could feel his growing erection on the back of her head. She instinctively pressed her head
deeper into it, causing him to moan again. Then an evil grin played around her lips.

"One of us needs to cool down, don't you think?"

With that she suddenly got up, laughing at him.

"And I know exactly how!"

She escaped to the edge of the pool, when he got up too to pull her back down. He followed
her slowly, knowing what she had in mind. Kathryn took off her sandals, stepped into the
refreshing water and waited for him, still laughing. He watched her and loved to see her this way,
happy, beautiful and free. He also took off his shoes and bent down to roll up his pants, then
stepped into the pool.

"Stay away!"

"Or what?"

Kathryn bent down, using her hands to gather as much water as possible and splashed it in
his direction. Chakotay managed to get out of the way, smiling about his success.

"You'll have to do better."

He tried to close the distance between them, but she always backed away from him.
Again she bent down to splash him with water and this time he realized he was too close.
A load of water hit his chest, another his face. She laughed and he used that moment to
approach her fully, grabbing her waist. Surprised she stumbled backwards, lost her balance
and fell down, pulling him with her. Soaking wet from head to toe they looked at each other,
lying side by side in the pool. She laughed even more and splashed at him once again.

"Stop that, you little beast!"

Chakotay grabbed her wrists and used his body to pin her down beneath him, their faces
only inches apart. Drops of water fell down from his face and hair when their eyes locked.
His breathing quickened, eyes cloudy with desire for her. She felt his erection pressing into
her belly, before his mouth crushed down on hers, hard and hot. Helplessly she responded,
wanting it as badly as he. He released her wrists and mouth then and her hands came up to
run through his hair and over his back, eyes locked again.

"I want to make love to you Kathryn---now!"

He picked her up out of the water, carried her back to the blanket, put her down and
looked down at her. Her dress was stuck to her like a second skin and revealed her female
curves. He reached out a hand and gently tucked a curl of wet hair behind her ear, making
her shiver. She ran her fingers lightly over his chest. The wet white shirt didn't hide his strong
muscles and proud nipples anymore. He turned her around to open the fastening on the back
of her dress pushing the fabric aside and down to the ground as he kissed her shoulders and
neck. His fingers opened her bra and slipped it off her arms. Then his hands went to cover
her taut breasts, fingers touching, stroking and kneading. She took in a sharp breath when his
hands removed her panties in a swift motionand came back to touch her. He found her wet
and slushy when his fingers caressed the sensitive flesh between her legs.

"Hmm, looks like we discovered another one with the need to cool down..."

He grabbed her waist and pulled her against him, making sure her bare skin touched his wet
clothes as much as possible. The coolness of it was uncomfortable and he knew it. She groaned
and this time it was his turn to laugh. He turned her in his arms to face him and they smiled at
each other.

"We are even now--- let's make love."

Chakotay released her and stepped back. He removed his shirt and slowly opened his pants.
She followed it closely. The clicking sounds of his belt and the pulling sounds of the zipper
made her close her eyes in anticipation of what to come. She heard his pants slide to the ground
and opened her eyes again, only to see that his boxers had followed his pants. He pulled her back
into his arms and together they laid down face to face on the blanket. They kissed and their hands
were all over each others bodies. He looked deep into her eyes, when he pulled her closer, lifted
her leg and put it across his hip. She could feel his solid erection right in front of her entrance.

"I want us to do this slow, very very slow, Kathryn."

He didn't wait for her approval but began to enter her. She could feel his tip parting her folds,
followed by the long thick shaft in a slow almost unbearable motion. She groaned in pleasure,
squirmed and panted hard, tried to urge him on to thrust when he remained still deep inside her.

"Ssssshhhhhh, calm down, Kathryn!"

He wrapped his arms around her back and held her tight to him.

"I don't want us to concentrate on our lust, our need for release or satisfaction. I want us to
concentrate on our togetherness, our union. Let's touch and feel us for a long long time."

He felt her nodding when she buried her face into his neck. She took several deep breaths to
fight her overpowering arousal. Gradually she relaxed and he touched her hair, her face, her arms,
her breast, her belly, her back, each place he could reach. She returned the touch and searched his
mouth for a kiss. Only then did he start the first thrusts. As slowly as had entered her, he withdrawal
most fully, then slid back deep into her, but stopped after only a few and began to touch her again
for long minutes. This sequence went on, touching, kissing, thrusting and starting with touching again.
Kathryn was soon lost in overwhelming feelings, feelings she had never experienced before and which
conquered her whole being. She never though it would be possible, but she could feel him so close
and not only his body, his presence, his spirit and his soul as well. She began to cry.

Worried he stopped all his motions and looked at her. He knew what she was feeling,
he experienced the same strong emotions and it touched him deeply seeing her cry now.

"I'm sorry, Chakotay."

Her voice trembled and he took her tighter into his arms to soothe her.

"No, please,--- let it out, love!"

He cupped her face with his hands then and kissed away some of her tears. He remained still,
time went by and eventually it was her who resumed their lovemaking.

"I need that release--- please Chakotay..."

He started to thrust, slow, but he went on, slid in and out of her. Their breathing and heartbeat
quickened. He bent down to suck on her nipples for the first time and she moaned. His thrusts
grew harder, faster and deeper and she felt her climax building deep inside her. She used her
inner muscles to squeeze him and he cried out. Being in her tight, wet, intense heat for that long
had left its mark on him. He increased the pace once more and it was all she needed to go over
the edge. Waves of pleasure forced their way through every cell in her body, made her shudder
violently and scream. Seeing and feeling her explosion, he joined her in her release, spilling his
seed deep inside her. She collapsed against his chest, unable to move for an eternity. She snuggled
closer after a while and was immediately sound asleep. He smiled and felt his own exhaustion take over.
 

Two hours later he woke up and looked directly into her blue eyes. She smiled at him, but he knew her
too well not to see the strange expression in them. It confused him.

"What's wrong, Kathryn?"

"Take a look back over the past few hours, Chakotay. Did something attract your attention?"

"Hmm. Only that you were so unusually passive all the time and accepted everything that I did."

"I let you lead, yes. I promised myself last night to do that, because I still feel guilty for pushing you
away."

"I already said that I have forgiven you."

"Please hear me out! This whole day is a test for me, to see how comfortable it is for me."

"And?"

"I got used to it pushing you away all these years. I thought it was better for me to be alone,
not to give way to someone, but I can't deny you any longer in my life. This whole day, this
lovemaking has intensified my feelings for you in so many ways."

She touched his cheek and looked deep into his eyes.

"I love, trust and need you, Chakotay! I can't say how much--- this goes beyond my imagination.
And I promise and this time to you too, that I'll do all I can to ensure that I never push you away
again."

He closed his eyes after he heard her words. He had never felt happier in his life.
 

They spent the rest of the day swimming in the pool, eating more crêpes and some fruits he
also brought along, lying in the sun and sleeping or just listening to the splashing sounds of
the waterfall. When the sun went down behind the rocks they made love again. It wasn't
easy for her to leave this peaceful place a short while later, but the sense of gratitude was
greater than the feeling of loss.
 

The End                                                                                                   email me