I thought it was time to do something new with the trilogy. I actually began working on an all-new Mr. T adventure; however, trying to complete grad school and starting a new job have sidelined that for some time.
So, I thought it might be fun if I asked my readers to vote on their favorite site. However, I live in Florida, so forget about that; I don't have the time for that either.
As a service to my readers, I thought I would incorporate some of the best responses I've gotten into the site. They are followed by my own response.
We'll begin with the nastiest one I've received to date. This was received from pippamckenna @ something or other .com, regarding my inclusion of Australian country singer Sherrie Austin:
I really hate to have to put a fellow T fan in place, but hell, priorities are priorities...
Well, you HAD my interested for, ohh, the first dozen pages or so...
Then, in the words of Mr. T, you got stupid, fool.
Why you felt the need to dedicate an entire page to bashing Sherri� Austin, I don't know, but sorry, that shit ain't cool...
First off, to claim Sherri� would go as low as to pose nude and take the "quick" way is a load of shit, considering the fact she's busted her ass off on her career for half her life, and has ONE HIT and 500,000 in career sales to show for it... My guess is like every other moron who can't see below the surface, Sherri� wouldn't stoop as low as to pull a Shania Twain, and in fact, resents even being compared to that worthless bitch Shania... Only someone who ASSUMES would think "Gee, Sherri� looks like Shania, so she must be like Shania".. Nope, sorry.. If she felt the need to use her body to get ahead, she would be selling with the likes of Shania and that fellow fake bitch, Faith Hill.. 500,000 in 3 years ishardly topping the charts...
If she wanted to use her body to get ahead - like you TRY to claim - she would've by now, and wouldn't HAVE BEEN CUT BY HER RECORD LABEL FOR POOR SALES.
Secondly, what the hell was she doing on Spiceworld anyway? If you know anything about her, she'd be one of the last people he'd "throw", considering the fact she does honest charity work for children that most people DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT... She routinely visits sick children in hospitals and keeps it hidden from the press, because she feels charity work should be done out of compassion, not as a publicity stunt (see: Twain, Shania)... Yeah, I could see T throwing that arrogant bitch Shania.. But Sherri�? Not likely..
Not just that, but I really loved the "Fosters" comment.. Ohhh, yes, all Australians sit around and drink Fosters all the time.. Uh huh. Yep.
I happen to know a couple of Sherri�'s friends.. I have met her on several occasions when there have been no other fans around (running intoher outside the hotel we both stayed in, etc.).. She happens to be a very nice young woman, and I happen to think the world of her as a person, not just as an artist.. So yeah, I was a bit peeved at seeing the "kind" treatment you showed her in your story...
Needless to say, once I saw that, I didn't care to see the rest of it. Why bother? It all went down the toilet at that point.
I'm sure you'll probably delete this, or not bother to reply. Frankly, I don't care. Yeah, I'd like to hear your cheesy reasoning for portraying her as a dumb, alcoholic Australian bimbo, but more than anything, I just wanted to tell you what I thought.
Frankly, I'm sick of hearing the pathetic stereotypes that because's beautiful and sings, she must be some sort of slut who uses her body to get ahead.
Your untruly,
Sherri� Austin's #1 fan
---Author's response:
Ouch! Well, my first response was to create a video with the voiceover "HOW TO SPEAK AUSTRALIAN." It then shows an animation of Sherrie singing, and subsequently getting pushed off the stage by Shania Twain. The voiceover says, "TALENT." Then we see the Foster's can and, "BEER." However, I am not one for such spite, and anyway, I haven't yet figured out how to add sound to videos. Maybe Jeff Goldblum could explain it to me.
She doesn't look a damn thing like Shania! Anyway, applause is in order for this reader for paying such careful attention to the plot. For example, she asks what Sherrie was doing on Spiceworld in the first place, because in order for her to be there, Mr. T must have thrown her. That certainly explains why David Nimmo was there. Also, her presence indicates that she is there to be photographed nude in order to further her career. My hat is off to this reader for still being awake at this point in the story. Yes, I admit that the site was way over the attention-span of the average web surfer, so I deserved the "first twelve pages or so" remark. Since she paid such careful attention while reading, maybe she noticed the warning at the top of the site regarding its length, along with the recommendation to stop and bookmark it when you get bored.
However, before I offer my rebuttal, let's get one thing straight: I actually LIKE Sherrie Austin. In fact, I own a copy of her latest CD, "Love In The Real World." I saw her video for Never Been Kissed on CMT, and had to buy the CD. Maybe Ms. Eye For Detail here recognized all of the pictures that I used in the site as the same photos from the CD, which would lead one to believe that I own it, or maybe it's just my imagination.
Looking back at the site, I believe it was page 12 or 13, it appears that I was a bit hard on her. My reason for including her was not to put her down as an artist or a person. I just needed another cheap gag to tie the mess of pictures I had scanned from magazines and CD liners together, and thought it would be cute if there were three photograph sessions going on that day, all being shot by someone named Austin. So, Austin Powers did the first one, Sherrie Austin was the second, and of course, Stone Cold Steve Austin was the third.
If you want to get even more technical, I intended Sherrie to be the one doing the photographing,NOT the posing. I had Jennifer Love Hewitt and Drew Barrymore for that. I did not indicate this directly in the dialogue, so the reader may be excused for missing that, even though the other two photographers named Austin were indicated as such.
Sorry to get so technical about this, but if someone is going to pick apart a storyline that I wrote, I feel obligated to reply in the same manner. I feel like I'm in a Babylon 5 chatroom.
So, my point is, I can't believe someone got so worked up about a stupid little site I wrote mainly to kill time and stretch my legs as a programmer. It was not my intention to "bash" her. And, yes, the Foster's comment was a very cheap shot. I actually have a very limited knowledge of the REAL Sherrie Austin. One can glean from reading the site that the extent of my knowledge, other than I think she has one of the most underrated voices in the business, is that she used to be on The Facts of Life (Pippa McKenna was her character, I believe) and that she is from Australia. I took that and ran with it, so I could get on with the story and use the nude pictures of Sable.
This was a first website I ever made from scratch, and I'll be the first to admit that I had way too much happen at once. Poor Sherrie was a creative casualty along the way. Again, I was somewhat harsh with her likeness, and for that I apologize. And should Ms. Austin herself see it (shoot, this 'friend' probably pointed her to it already) and write me a hostile letter, I will take the Monty Python way out and replace that page with a single jpeg that says "scene missing."
If you'd like to see what all the fuss was about, click here. But you're on you own to get back to this page.
On to the next one. Received from a Mr. Peter evans:
Good work, Mr Creon...
But not quite good enough! Your knowledge of the story telling style of Mr. T impressed me mightily. Almost as much as the inclusion of the stupendous and deeply wonderful songstress Tori Amos. But the inclusion of the evil Geri Halliwell eroded away the foundations of goodwill like starved beevers gnawing away at a Long John Silver peg-leg-alike convention. Geri repeatedly assaults the bastions of good sense and taste with her demented outlook on life.
Comparing a Bolivian orphan's plight to her 'stressful' experiences in the music industry?
Repeatedly talking about herself on UN goodwill tours to the chargrin of all?
Releasing a terrible solo album?
Displaying a complete lack of knowledge on the concept of modesty?
I, a red head, despise her. And Chris Evans. So two out of three. The admiration of MR. T and Tori Amos deserves much favour, but just because Geri left the Spice Girls does not mean she can escape deserved derision and damnation.
Rectify the situation. Change your mind whilst there still is time and buy a copy of Kate Bush's 'Hounds of Love' to boot. If you love Tori, you'll adore Bush's work. (And 'It's Jo & Danny', and 'The Flash Girls' and Ani DiFranco and PJ Harvey...etc..)
In grudging but well meant approval,
Peter Evans
---Author's repsonse:
Kudos to this reader for recognizing the genius of Tori Amos! Also for a stupendous use of simile, like the "starved beevers" comment. LOL! Not to mention his alliteration, like "deserved derision and damnation."
However, I am inclined to disagree that Geri released a terrible solo album. Maybe it's just me. I guess I have a thing for redhead solo artists. I found her solo album "Schizophonic" to be daring, experimental, and altogether fun. The name of the album actually means "many sounds." I was overjoyed when I found the first single "Look At Me" among the karaoke selections at my local bar.
In addition, I cannot help but admire anybody who has risen to a certain level of success in their career endeavors, but knows that they are not on track with their destiny, and must cut all ties and start anew no matter how many friends must be left behind, how much salary given up, and how long it may take to climb the next hill. I made a similar decision in my own life several years ago, and sitting here now, I realize that I am further along in my career goals now than I ever would have been had I remained in my previous station in life. In the past year, Liam Neeson (Qui-Gon Jinn from The Phantom Menace, to name just one) made the decision to leave acting behind because he really didn't like it.
I spent almost as much time developing the character of Geri within the trilogy as I did Mr. T. Hmm...it's hard to tell which one is intended to be the main character. Many would consider Luke Skywalker to be the main character of the Star Wars trilogy, but George Lucas himself said that the main focus is the redemption of Anakin Skywalker.
So, think of Geri what you will. I like 'er. The Spice Girls sustained a great loss.
Here's an odd one:
From: [email protected] ([email protected] - Associate VP)
To: [email protected] (webmaster)
I just visited your great site and was wondering if you�d like to add some Mr. T pictures to it.
You may not know, but Allwall.com carries over 70,000 posters, prints, and photos including some Mr. T images. These eye-catching photos that your visitors are looking for will also earn you amazing commissions up to 25% on all sales referred from your site (this includes our custom framed merchandise, which regularly exceeds $100 per sale).
Why not enhance your site with these Mr. T images and earn money at the same time? It's completely free, so I�ve taken the liberty of pre-approving you an Allwall.com Associate ID:
Your Associate ID: ******
Your Associate Password: *****
You can use the above information at the following page to get more details on this profitable opportunity at:
http://www.allwall.com/associates/proginfo.asp
Thank you for your time and I hope that you take advantage of this terrific offer.
----------------------------------------------------
Melissa Hamilton [email protected]
Associate Development VP Allwall.com, Inc.
----------------------------------------------------
NOTE: If your Internet Service Provider prohibits paid advertising or if you are not interested in receiving money, you may still add our great images to your site by either waiving your earnings or selecting a charity for us to donate your commissions to.
Allwall.com respects your privacy. If you would not like to receive any further e-mails, please reply to this e-mail with REMOVE as the subject.
---Author's response:
I've gotten the attention of a corporate type. I wonder if her boss knows that she is reading Mr. T vs. sites while on the clock. And if she's actually read the whole thing, she has squandered hundreds of taxpayer dollars whilst goofing off.
Everybody wants to jump on the bandwagon. I bust my tail here making this site, and some deep-pocketed chick wants to take some credit for it. Are they implying that my selection of Mr. T pictures used in the making of the site are not up to par? Surely the curator of the Mr. T photo archive would be dismayed. Also, if anyone thinks I am going to go back and add MORE stuff to these sites, they're crazier than Murdock.
Here's a nice one received from a Mr. Nathan Callaway:
Now that's good work. You must have frigin read my mind...as a big fan of the Rock and Mr. T I have been mixing their lines to make the most helluva tough speech pattern ever...
In any event it rocked...it was a LOT of shit to tie together...good job
He's right, it WAS a lot to tie together, considering that I did the first chapter by scanning a bunch of pictures of celebrities I liked/disliked, and then tried to form a story with them around Mr. T. It left so many loose ends, I'm surprised that it only took two more chapters to tie them all into a neat little package. And I still found time to get as close as I ever will to giving Mike Myers the beating of his life. Being outsmarted by a Nickelodeon child star in chapter three--ha ha, bet he's embarassed, wherever he is.
---Author's response:
He's referring to the WAV files I mixed in the third chapter, which featured dialogue between the two TV icons, over sound effects. Here's one. Yes, I am quite proud of those. I still punch them up from time to time and always get a chuckle from them. I am also proud of
This was the nicest one I ever received, from a Chris Nephew:
Wow. You write the best ever Mr. T Vs. X sites. They actually make sense (sort of). If I had a real award I'd give it to you, but I don't so I've attached something else instead.
---Author's response:
Aw shucks. I got this one before part 3 was completed. He sent me a JPEG of the Rolling Stone magazine cover which had Gillian Anderson in a tight red dress, being taken down by a swamp monster. I was so moved, I made a special accomodation to use that very same picture in part 3. It's in there, near the beginning.
Received from a djpip21:
I pity the fool who doesnt like your site,shit hot mate read all 3 and they all made me laugh you must of had too much time on your hands to do them
---Author's response:
Yes indeed, as I've stated before, that was the main reason that I made these sites: I had way too much free time. While I didn't quite understand the dialect in this one, it sounds somewhat...Austrailian? Note "pip" in the name of the sender. When I began reading this, I was afraid I had drawn the ire of another Sherrie Austin fan. No, really, they're okay, but they will probably never look at us Americans quite the same way after we sent those whiny-ass Survivor people over there. I thought I may have to go the Bart Simpson route and write "Don't tread on me" on my ass and scan a picture of it...heck, why bother with a picture, I could do that right now and just sit on my scanner, it looks just like a copy machine.
From: ELEPHA4957
Subj: Cool Mr. T page
Woah. that was long but really cool and funny. Someday, maybe i should make a huge Mr. T triligy of my own. I know this is probobly an old page that you never hear about anymore but I think it's really cool
---Author's response:
Sure, anybody can do it. I didn't know any more about computers than the next person (assuming the next person is Bill Gates), but I just got in there and fooled around in the art and HTML programs until I figured out how they worked. Actually, this trilogy was born of an insert in GamePro magazine called "Internet for Dummies," so it was just right for me. There I learned the basics of HTML and went from there.
Yeah, it is pretty old. It's been a year now since I finished part 3. As I said above, I have a new one in the works, but work has been halted at least until I can finish my Master's degree. Rest assured the degree is not in Computing.
If you liked the trilogy, or even if you didn't, or if you didn't read it at all and just like to send hate mail to total strangers, feel free to write me. Be warned that your mail just may appear on this page.