FEAR AND TREMBLING

(So You Have to Give a Speech.)

 

by

Creig R. Kronstedt, Ph.D.

 

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt - A. Lincoln

 

Lincoln gives good advice, however, many of us misunderstand the meaning of the above quote.  He was not advising against speech, but rather against speaking without thinking first.  Lincoln, you will remember, was a skilled debater and speaker.  He left us with perhaps one of the most eloquent speeches in the English language, The Gettysburg Address.  That speech was not written by a staff of speechwriters at the White House.  It was rumored to have been scribbled on the back of an envelope by the President on his way to Gettysburg.  While that apocryphal story is no longer believed to be true, there is a great deal we can learn from Mr. Lincoln.

 

The keynote speech at Gettysburg was presented by Edward Everett, a well-known orator of the time.  Everett's speech lasted several hours and yet few people even remember that Everett also gave a Gettysburg Address.  Lincoln perhaps from his debating days knew intuitively that quality was more important than quantity and that brevity is superior to verbosity.  Incidentally, Lincoln's speech was not well received at Gettysburg.  Sometimes our audience is just not ready for the kind of message that we have to give.  However, that does not mean that we should not give it.  Imagine what would have happened if Lincoln had felt that way.

 

 

Why do we fear speaking to large groups?

 

No one likes to fail, and failure in front of a large group of people magnifies the effect.  If we felt sure that we were going to get praise and acceptance, we would not hesitate to get up in front of a group.  It is our expectation of failure that makes giving a speech such a frightening prospect.  This is precisely why I tell people not to read or memorize a speech.  Any deviation from the original plan is perceived by the speaker as a mistake.

 

There are a number of ways to cover a mistake while giving a speech, but the best way I have found is to ignore it. We all know that the world is imperfect and there is no reason to assume we have to be perfect. I have listened to any number of professionals speaking publicly or on television and heard them make errors. Most people are not listening so intently that they will hear minor bloopers, but I do. One evening on television, I heard a doctor talk about giving his patients 'subscriptions' for flu medicine. Whether or not he was aware of his error, he never indicated it.

 

 

A verbal high-wire act.

 

To many of us, giving a speech is as threatening as performing on a high-wire. The comparison seems appropriate. There you are in the spotlight. All eyes are upon you. Before you stretches the glistening wire. At the other end lies applause, praise, and ego fulfillment; but that wire is so long and so thin. One fumble, one miss-step and you will go crashing down to ignominious defeat. Perhaps the high-wire would be preferable to giving a speech. At least if you make a mistake on the high-wire you are only dead, but a failed speech means you must sit back down, humbled, defeated, and still alive.

The analogy, though compelling, is not accurate. A good speaker does not limit his options to only one narrow path. The podium is not high in the air and a miss-step does not leave one hurtling to the ground. Few besides the speaker even notice that a miss-step has occurred. Neither our lives nor our reputations are at stake. With a little practice, even the most tongue-tied among us can become adepts.

 

 

We are all novices.

 

People who have confidence do not have big egos, they simply recognize that we are all human, and we all make mistakes. As I grew up, I realized there were many things in this world that I didn't know. I felt dumb and inept. I sought the answers from others, but the more I questioned them, the more I realized how little they knew. At each level of education from high school to college to graduate school, I kept looking for the person who had all the answers. Finally, in graduate school, I realized that I had gone about as far as I could. I had not found anyone with all the answers. 'Everyone was just as much in the dark as I.’

 

About that time, I realized that others were coming to me for answers. Suddenly, I was the 'expert' who was supposed to know. I must admit that in the heady afterglow of earning a Ph.D., at times, to impress people or sometimes to ease someone's fears, I even pretended I did know everything. The point is that no matter how much others may put on the air of superiority and knowledge, they are all human and none of them really 'knows' anything with absolute certainty anymore than anyone else.

To err is human.

 

One of my cardinal rules for speech making is that I always expect to make an ass of myself at least once, while I am standing before a group.  Perhaps the worst time was when I tripped over a wastebasket as I was pacing back and forth in front of a class. That was also when I learned that the audience is almost always on your side.  The people were more concerned about whether I had hurt myself than they were about having a laugh at my expense.

 

I have always remembered that wastebasket.  I know that I am not perfect and I don't expect to be.  I know that when I get up to speak before a group, I am taking a risk, but I have learned not to fall apart when some little thing goes wrong.  Expecting to fail at least once during a speech can take the pressure off being perfect. Most people admire you for having the nerve to get up before a group and are sympathetic.

 

 

Prepare a speech, but don’t read it word for word.

 

Writing a speech out in detail will help you clearly define what you want to say, but  there are any number of ways to say the same thing.  One of the things that bother a speaker most is getting the speech just right.  There is no such thing as just right.  When you have only one way to say something, you become inflexible. Saying something not in the speech or losing your place, or forgetting a part of the speech can make you feel like a fool, but since you're the only one who knows how it's supposed to be, the audience doesn't know that anything out of the ordinary has occurred. This is precisely why I tell people not to read or memorize a speech.  Any deviation from the original plan is perceived by the speaker as a mistake, and that's when they come all un‑glued.  There are a number of ways to cover a mistake while giving a speech, but the best way I have found is to ignore it.

 

Speaking is an active, flowing activity and one must be flexible.  Paying attention to your audience is more important than rigidly adhering to a prepared speech.  Sometimes you have to adjust your speech to meet the needs of your audience and you can't do that if you are locked into a prepared statement.  Doing a reading is just that, reading. Giving a speech is something else.

 

 

Spinning a yarn.

 

Everyone enjoys a good story and most good speakers are also good story tellers. Lincoln was one of the best. Here again, flexibility is the rule. Trying to remember exactly how a story goes is a sure way to kill it before it has a chance to grow. Spinning a yarn is not just a metaphor for telling a story, it is a description of how it is done. One first takes the amorphous fibers as they come and gradually weaves them together, twisting them over and around one another until they begin to form a thread. The threads are then spun into a yarn and the result often surprises the spinner as much as the observer. Stories and speeches should be born anew each time they are spoken. It is easy to identify the old, dead, retold stories and speeches by the effect they have on an audience.

 

Becoming a really good story teller may take some time, but one must begin somewhere and as the old sage said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step." The first step, of course, always starts at our front door and that is where we should get material for our stories and speeches. We are always most comfortable talking about things with which we are familiar and we always do those things best.

 

 

Engage brain before opening mouth.

 

When preparing a speech, I often practice giving it silently to myself as though I were before the group.  I use the same kind of intensity that I will use when I am actually giving the speech.  I often do the speech several different ways; revising it each time I do it.  Occasionally I tape record the speech and then listen to it to hear how it sounds.  If there is a part I don't like, I try it a different way.  Trying the speech out on yourself gives you practice in speaking and builds your confidence.

 

Once I have the speech the way I want it, I make a short list of the key points or topics that I am going to cover and need only look down at my card to move from one topic to the next.  If I am going to give a quote or tell a joke, I will put that on another card, but I keep cards to a minimum.  They distract from the speech.  They are too easily dropped or mixed up.  Once I have a list of topics (rarely more than two or three), I practice the speech using the cards.

 

"You are what you pretend to be."

 

Most leaders if they were willing to give up their secrets, would tell you that having the image of competence and confidence comes before actually having it.  It is another way of saying "practice makes perfect".  No one is born confident.  One learns how to be confident by practicing.  Your first speech will be your hardest, but each succeeding speech will get easier and easier.  This is why it is important to practice giving your speech in your head. Imagining that you are in front of an accepting audience doing the speech perfectly (in your imagination) is a great confidence builder.

 

Psychological research has shown that imagining an action in your head will improve your performance.  One researcher had one group of subjects practice shooting baskets for a half hour while a second group closed their eyes and imagined shooting baskets.  The imaging group was instructed to picture shooting baskets as vividly as possible and to never miss a shot.  Later both groups were taken out to shoot baskets.

 

Guess which group performed best.  The imagers!  Keep in mind that the real practicers were missing shots as well as making them. Therefore their practice consisted of learning how to make errors as well as how to make correct responses.  Mental practice sets up the proper neural circuits in the brain to perform the behavior correctly.  This technique is now used in many sports, but there is no reason that it should be limited to sports activities.  It is equally effective with public speaking.

 

 

Mirror, Mirror on the wall.

 

Some public speakers practice their speeches in front of their long‑suffering spouses. While such practice does provide one with an audience, it is not an accurate measure of performance. Spouses are hardly a hostile audience; unless, of course, they have had to listen to too many of these speeches. A more effective and more immediate form of feedback is to give your speech in front of a mirror.   The speech is not just words. It is the total impression you give to your audience. You are an actor. Getting up before an audience makes you larger than life. You are putting on a show and if your audience likes the whole show, they will let you know. I once taught an entire semester in a room which had a mirrored, back wall. Believe me, by the end of the semester I was very aware of the image I was presenting to my students.

 

When Cary Grant was asked if he had always been so suave and debonair, He replied that he had been shy and awkward as a child, but that he had practiced acting sophisticated in front of a mirror.  He ultimately became what he had pretended to be.  Watching your facial expressions as you speak will give you the proper expressions when you face your audience. The speech is not just words.  It is the total impression you give to your audience. You are an actor.  Getting up before an audience makes you larger than life.  You are putting on a show and if your audience likes the whole show, they will let you know.

 

Most of us have a bit of actor in us; this is our chance to be a star.  The experience can be exhilarating and the applause is intoxicating.  And you get it even if you are not Sir Laurence Olivier.

 

Use of the dramatic pause.

 

The dramatic pause is a tool used by actors for effect.  They use it to emphasize what they have just said or what they are going to say.  You may use the same tool to advantage.  Occasionally, we need time to take a breath or to think about what we are going to say next. The inexperienced speaker fills this space with words or sounds like "Ah", "Um", or "You know".  Commas should be seen and not heard!  The basic rule is, "If you have nothing to say, don't say anything".  The pause will give you time to think and will give the audience time to think about what you have just said.  If you remain composed and thoughtful the audience will not know whether the pause was planned or unplanned.

 

Once, in the middle of a speech, I totally lost track of where I was. I paused, looked pensively upwards, as though I were consulting with my muse; and furiously reviewed the entire presentation, mentally. After about thirty seconds of mental wheel‑spinning, I calmly looked at my audience and said, "Clearly, not everything has an obvious resolution, but perhaps a look at the next issue will help us," and I continued with my speech.

 

The speaker (you), by simply standing before a group, acquires an enormous amount of authority and power.  You have the position of a leader and can do little that is perceived as wrong, as long as you remain in control.  The audience is looking to you for guidance and wants you to succeed at least as much as you do.  Therefore, they are in your corner.  They feel your aloneness up on stage as acutely as you do.  They feel uncomfortable for you.  It is your job to put them at ease and they will in turn put you at ease.

 

Remember you are among friends.

 

If a group asks you to speak, they have already indicated that they would like to hear what you have to say.  I make it a point to like my audience.  I play to them and make them a part of what is going on by really talking to them instead of at them.  I pick out several individuals in the crowd, because it is easier to talk to individuals.  The more I concern myself with them the less I worry about myself.  If I make them feel comfortable, I feel comfortable.

 

When we converse with friends, we are not intimidated because we recognize that we cannot make a mistake.  Since we have not planned our conversation, there is no such thing as a mistake.  If we view a speech as a conversation with a friendly audience, we come to recognize that we cannot make a mistake in front of an audience, because they don't know what we are going to say until after we say it.

 

Feeling the empathy of the crowd will make them seem less like adversaries and more like friends.  The speech then becomes a conversation with friends in which you do most or all of the talking.  The audience responds by nodding, laughing, smiling, or clapping.  If you establish and maintain a strong rapport with your audience, you are no longer alone, but rather, enjoying the company of friends.

 

I do not speak to teach, but rather to learn.  I believe that the only way to operate effectively in this world is to share what little knowledge we have with others. I expect that if I tell people what I think, they will tell me what they think and they will show me where I am wrong in what I think.  The more we risk, the more we are able to learn.  If we are afraid to take risks and make mistakes, we can never improve ourselves.