Recipes


Spiced Vinegar Marinade

2 cups water
1 cup wine vinegar
1 tsp salt
2 onions
1 carrot
5 peppercorns or � tbs coarsely ground pepper
2 whole cloves
1 bayleaf
2 juniper berries (optional)
Crushed red pepper or cayenne if desired
Put all the marinade ingredients into a large pan.
Bring to a boil, then lower heat and simmer for 15 minutes;
set the marinade aside to cool.
Shave beef into thin slices; add to marinade and refrigerate.


Cat Poop Cookies!

Here, by (believe it or not) popular request, is the recipe
for the infamous and disgusting cookies that look like cat poop
(rolled in Grape-Nuts�, which makes lovely faux kitty litter).

Chocolate produces dark logs; and gingerbread, light brown.

Amounts may need adjustment, especially on flavoring.
The heaviness and slightly bitter taste is necesssary
so that the cookies will retain their shape during baking.
If you use white flour or sugar, they may be tastier
but they won't look like "the real deal".

Chocolate:
� cup honey
2/3 cup (1�1/3 stick) butter, margarine or lard
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla or peppermint extract
2 cups whole wheat flour
1/3 cup cocoa powder
Grape-Nuts� cereal
Gingerbread:
� cup honey
� cup molasses
2/3 cup (1�1/3 stick) butter, margarine or lard
1 egg
2 and 1/3 cups whole wheat flour
Spices: ginger, cinnamon, cloves (maybe � tsp each)
Grape-Nuts� cereal
Mix-ins:
Coconut (tapeworms)
Chocolate chips (poop chunks)
Butterscotch chips (diarrhea)
Peanut butter chips (diarrhea)
Cooked spagetti or ramen noodles (roundworms)
Corn (self-explanatory)
Peanuts (more chunks)
M&Ms (decoration?)
Microwave honey until it bubbles (about 1 minute).
Add butter* (and molasses if baking gingerbread recipe).
*Using lard produces a more realistic texture and softer cookie.
Add egg, blend well, then mix in all other ingredients
(including optional textures).

Chill 1 hour in freezer or refrigerate for several hours.
Roll dough logs of random length and diameter of cat turds.

Roll logs in Grape-Nuts and bake at 350� until done
(approximately 20 minutes � watch closely).

Serve in disposable cat litter box
on a bed of Grape-Nuts with litter scoop.
Dribble melted chocolate or pudding over box and scoop.
Brown sugar works well for "clumps";
mixing it with the cereal sweetens cookies a bit
while allowing them to retain a repugnant appearance.

This was a great hit at our Halloween Party,
where the table was already decorated with plastic flies.


Cream Cheese Mints
(makes 40 to 50 pieces)

3 oz cream cheese, room temperature
2� cups confectioner's sugar
� to � tsp mint or other flavoring (I like the oils better, available at pharmacies
4 to 6 drops food coloring
Granulated sugar

Mix cream cheese and confectioner's sugar in bowl, blend well.
Add flavoring, then food coloring a little at a time until desired color is achieved.
Mix well. Knead in bowl until it is pie-dough consistency.
Pinch off a marble-sized piece, roll in granulated sugar and press into mold
or on waxed paper with the bottom of a sugar coated glass.
Separate layers of mints with sheets of waxed paper.
Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve; they will keep a month or longer.

I've made really neat decorations using this recipe,
such as carrots for carrot cake, etc., omitting the flavoring.
Enjoy!

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