JOKES

Laughter is considered the best forms of medicine. It's cheap as hell, easy to swallow and makes you want to take in some more. It's available all the time and it's can be taken anytime of the day, with as much of it as you want. So enjoy this selection. I know how the guys just like to dis all the other guys mothers (Frankly I find it taste less to do but nothing beats a good laugh), so i have made it easier to memorize. For i always say, "If you want to do something you better do it right.

YO MAMA SO FAT
YO MAMA SO UGLY
YO MAMA SO STUPID
YO MAMA IS SO FAT
  1. Yo mama so fat she hitch-hikes on dump trucks
  2. Yo mama so fat she uses hoola hoops to hold up her socks!
  3. Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
  4. Yo mama so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
  5. Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise.
  6. Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!
  7. Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
  8. Yo mama so fat, everytime someone say "Kool Aid" she bust through the wall.
  9. Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
  10. Yo mama so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her...
  11. Yo mama so fat she use a pillow for a tampon.
  12. Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world.
  13. Yo mama so fat they wrote a book about her, It was called Moby Dick.
  14. Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy.
  15. Yo mama so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
  16. Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
  17. Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
  18. Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
  19. Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
  20. Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
  21. Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
  22. Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
  23. Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
  24. Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
  25. Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
  26. Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
  27. Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!
  28. Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
  29. Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
  30. Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
  31. Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
  32. Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!
  33. Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
  34. Yo mama so fat she got more chins than a Chinese phone book!
  35. Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
  36. Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
  37. Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
  38. Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
  39. Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
  40. Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
  41. Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
  42. Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
  43. Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on theother side just to get her through
  44. Yo mama so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
  45. Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
  46. Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
  47. Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
  48. Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
  49. Yo mama so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!
  50. Yo mama so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off!
  51. Yo mama so fat her belt size is equator.
  52. Yo mama so fat her blood type is RAGU!!!!!!
  53. Yo mama so fat she got the part in Raiders of The Lost Ark as the big rolling ball.

YO MAMA IS SO UGLY

  1. Yo mama so ugly she went into an hunted house and came out with an application
  2. Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
  3. Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
  4. Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
  5. Yo mama so ugly they put her in the monkey cage to make the monkeys stop jacking off.
  6. Yo mama so ugly even Freddy Krueger has nightmares of her.
  7. Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
  8. Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
  9. Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
  10. Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
  11. Yo mama so ugly that she scared the shit out of the toilet.
  12. Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
  13. Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
  14. Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
  15. Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
  16. Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
  17. Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.
  18. Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours... for a quote!
  19. Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
  20. Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!
  21. Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
  22. Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
  23. Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
  24. Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
  25. Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.
  26. Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
  27. Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
  28. Yo mama so ugly your dad's breath smells like shit because he would rather kiss her ass.

YO MAMA IS SO STUPID

  1. Yo mama so stupid, she saw a sign that said "WET FLOOR", So she did
  2. Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
  3. Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
  4. Yo mama so stupid she got a peep hole in a glass door.
  5. Yo mama so stupid she went to the drug store and asked for marijuana
  6. Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read
  7. Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
  8. Yo mama so stupid she looks at a can of juice for days 'cause it says concentrate
  9. Yo mama so stupid that when she was driving to disneyland she saw a sign that said Disneyland left, so she went home.
  10. Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company
  11. Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
  12. Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
  13. Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
  14. Yo mama so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone and got ran over by a parked car!
  15. Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
  16. Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
  17. Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
  18. Yo mama so stupid that she ran into an automatic sliding door.
  19. Yo mama so stupid that she tried to drown a fish.
  20. Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
  21. Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
  22. Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
  23. Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
  24. Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
  25. Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
  26. Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
  27. Yo mama so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too.
  28. Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
  29. Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
  30. Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
  31. Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
  32. Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
  33. Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
  34. Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics.
  35. Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
  36. Yo mama so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course
  37. Yo mama so stupid she couldn't read an audio book
  38. Yo mama so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.
  39. Yo mama so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus
  40. Yo mama so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg
  41. Yo mama so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "guess" so she said Levi's
  42. Yo mama so stupid that she sold potato chips on the corner and said free lays.
  43. Yo mama so stupid on a job application it said "who do you contact in case of an emergency" and she put "911"
  44. Yo mama so stupid she thought Forrest Gump was a national park.
  45. Yo mama so stupid when she walked into Walgreens her dumb ass said, "These walls ain't green!!"
  46. Yo mama so stupid she thought Manual Labor was the president of Mexico.
  47. Yo mama so stupid she put a quarter in a parking meter and she yelled "were's my gumball." Yo mama so stupid that when she looked in the mirror, she said stop copying me!
  48. Yo mama so stupid she thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.
  49. Yo mama so stupid she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.
  50. Yo mama so stupid she brought toilet paper to a crap game
  51. Yo mama so stupid she asked for a price check at the $.99 store
  52. Yo mama so stupid she got hit by a car and said, "I love what you do for me, Toyota!
  53. Yo mama so stupid she waited four hours for a 24 hour store to open.
  54. Yo mama so stupid she went to Dunkin Donuts, bought a dozen donuts then went back 30 minutes later and said,"hey,guy i want a refund these donuts got holes in 'em!"
  55. Yo mama so stupid she walked into an antique store and said what's new!
  56. Yo mama so dumb she locked herself in the bathroom and pissed her pants.
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