I. The One With the Mystic

by Creedog VanDrey

Category: Friends

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: PG

Language: English

Summary: Season 7. Godeerc gives the gang their first set of glimpses.

A/N: Welcome to the Godeerc the Mystic Series. This is a new type of fic. It’s sort of fantasy, but really falls in a kind of Could-Have-Been category. It features a new Character, Godeerc VanDrey (you’ll notice that Creedog wrote this), who is a mystic (I’ll explain later), and he gives the gang “glimpses.” Just read it. It’s very popular among my regular fans.

Scene 1: Central Perk

(the gang is sitting on the couches, drinking coffee)

(a man of about thirty years with dark brown hair wearing a dark blue monk-like robe)

Godeerc: (to a waitress) Excuse me, is this Central Perk?

Jessica: (turns around) Yes, it is? Godeerc?

Godeerc: (surprised) Jessica! I… didn’t realize you worked here.

Jessica: Yeah, I do.

Godeerc: Um… well… I’m looking for… (sees the gang on the couches) them. It was nice to see you. I’m sorry I can’t talk, but I’m here on business. And, well…

Jessica: How ‘bout some coffee?

Godeerc: Coffee would be wonderful. (clears his throat) Decaf, please.

Jessica: (quickly) Coming right up.

Phoebe: (as he approaches) Ex-girlfriend?

Godeerc: Not exactly, but we go back a while, and wasn’t prepared to see her again.

Phoebe: I know, she’s a babe, isn’t she?

Godeerc: You must be Ms. Buffay.

Phoebe: Ooh. You must be psychic, too. (points) Pieces!

Godeerc: Nice shooting. You are Phoebe Buffay, a masseuse. Unmarried. You are the daughter of Frank and Lilly Buffay. You have a twin named Ursula. She’s a waitress.

Phoebe: And my sign?

Godeerc: Sagittarius?

Phoebe: Lucky guess.

Ross: Okay, am I the only one who’s a bit creeped out?

Godeerc: I should explain myself, Dr. Geller. My name is Godeerc VanDrey. I’m a mystic.

(blank looks)

Godeerc: Yeah, that never gets me anywhere. I’m of a special type of mystic known as a glimpser. Basically what I do is take suggestions for ways that you’d like to change your pasts. Then I induce a vision, known as a glimpse, so you can watch me do it, and then the aftereffects. And since the metaphysics carries over, you’ll find yourself with your same memories, but your physical presence will change as if the past had occurred. I’ll receive periodic insights and I’ll be able to clarify most things.

Joey: Oh, I get it. (Chandler gives him a challenging look) Oh, okay. Haven’t a clue.

Chandler: Seeing that I don’t, I was skeptical.

Godeerc: Okay, I’ll show you. Dr. Geller, what’s one thing in your past you’d like changed?

Ross: (looks at Rachel) I wish the whole “On a break” thing had never happened. (to Godeerc) Okay, we used to date...

Godeerc: (motioning for him to stop) I understand completely. (Ross is surprised) Pretend I took a crash course in your life stories. Here it goes.

Scene 2: Rachel and Monica’s Kitchen, 1996

(Ross and Rachel during the “Maybe we should go on a break” scene)

Rachel: Maybe we should go on a break.

Ross: That’s a good idea. We’ll get some frozen yogurt or something.

Rachel: No, Ross, a break from us.

(Ross storms out)

Scene 3: The hallway, directly following

(Ross walking out devastated, met by Godeerc, in normal clothes)

Godeerc: Dr. Geller?

Ross: Yeah, that’s me. Do I know you?

Godeerc: No, but you work at the museum, right?

Ross: (sad tone) Uh-huh. I do.

Godeerc: I know I’m going to regret this, but what’s wrong?

Ross: I just broke up with my girlfriend. It was a serious relationship.

Godeerc: So what, “Let’s see other people,” or “Let’s just be friends”? What?

Ross: “Let’s go on a break... from us.”

Godeerc: A break? I’m really no expert, but it sounds like she just wants time to cool off.

Ross: You really think so?

Godeerc: Dr. Geller, here’s some advice: Go home. Get some rest. Do not do anything you’ll regret. Right now, it sounds like a good time to let things settle out a bit.

Ross: Okay.

Scene 4: Ross’s Apartment

(Ross wakes up in an empty bed)

Ross: (looks to his side, seeing no one) Rachel... (phone rings; he gets up and answers it)

Rachel: (on phone) Hey, Ross, it’s Rach... Can I come over? I want to talk.

Ross: Uh... sure. Come on over. Please…

(time lapse)

Ross: (answers the door) Rachel.

Rachel: Ross.

Ross: So, you wanted to talk to me?

Rachel: Yeah. Ross, I want to apologize for last night. I just needed time to cool off.

Ross: Really? That’s fine. Listen, I shouldn’t have brought up Mark. I trust you completely. I just get…

Rachel: (motions it off) I would really appreciate it if we could let things go back to normal. Ross, I still love you. I do. Would it be okay if I’m your girlfriend again?

Ross: (smiling) Absolutely. I love you, Rachel.

Rachel: (smiling) I love you, too. (they hug tightly, and kiss)

Scene 5: Central Perk, Present

(the gang looking like they just came out of a trance)

Joey: (jerks) Whoa! What just happened? I was like, seeing things.

Godeerc: That was a glimpse. You saw how things changed.

Ross: Wow, so I never slept with Chloe?

Godeerc: Never even met her. Well you did, but you weren’t on a break at the time.

Chandler: Whoa, did one of us hook up with her? (Monica slaps his arm) Oh, c’mon, Honey, it’s gonna be Joey. (to Godeerc) It’s Joey, right?

Godeerc: Four years ago? Yeah. But still stay away. She’s still polygamous and all that, and it’s… ew.

Rachel: What happened after that?

Godeerc: Well, part of the glimpse is physical representation. Rachel, are your hands sore?

Rachel: (rubs them) No. Why? (notices something, looks at her hand) Oh, my gosh. I’m engaged! (looks at her other hand) No, I’m married!

Ross: (looking at his own hand) Physical representation. Does this mean we got... married?

Godeerc: Yes. Shortly afterwards, you proposed. You were married about the same time as when you would have married Emily.

Ross: Emily... So, she never happened, either?

Godeerc: You don’t even know her besides some British chick that Rachel took to an opera.

Rachel: I took her to the dumb opera?

Godeerc: What else would you have done?

Rachel: Joshua… I would have been engaged. Wow, happily married within a month. How happily? (like an answer, a baby waking is heard beside Ross on the couch; he turns to look)

Godeerc: (to Ross) Well, pick up your daughter.

Rachel: (nervous) We... we have a baby? That’s... that’s... (Ross picks up the infant, and holds it next to Rachel, who becomes speechless) that’s a pretty, little girl. My cute, little daughter.

Ross: Our cute, little daughter. (he smiles at Rachel, who smiles back, and holds the baby)

Rachel: Like a football... What’s her name?

Godeerc: Emily Catherine.

Rachel: We named our baby Emily?

Godeerc: Ross did suggest it awhile back. And like I said, Emily Waltham was just your boss’s niece that you took to the opera.

Monica: (looking at her hand) Chandler, look, my engagement ring’s different.

Chandler: So it is. (looks at his own hand) Whoa, I don’t have mine.

Monica: Funny. (read the inscription on her ring) “My Sight, My Faith, My Love.” That sounds like something Richard would put. (realizes) Oh, no. I’m engaged to Richard!

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

Monica: What happened to me and Chandler?

Godeerc: Well, there is no you and Chandler. There never was.

Chandler: How is that possible?

Godeerc: Where’d you guys hook up?

Chandler: And Ross and Emily’s wedding... Oh, no, there was no London! No drunk guy. No “looking for comfort.” No “I’m still on London time.”

Monica: But, what about the baby issue?

Godeerc: I guess you got over it.

Monica: (whiny) But I don’t wanna get over it. I’m marrying Chandler because we’re gonna have a baby. Wait, does the Richard here and now think we’re engaged?

Godeerc: (nods) Yeah.

Chandler: (shaking) We’re gonna have a baby?

Monica: Honey, calm down. Not until you’re ready. (mouths “soon” to the rest of the gang) Can you put Chandler and I back together?

Godeerc: My pleasure.

Scene 6: A Wedding Hall, 1998

(Chandler and Monica)

Monica: (hugs Chandler) I cannot believe Ross and Rachel are getting married today.

Chandler: I know. My best friend. Two of them.

Monica: My best friend too. Then my brother, of course.

Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, you and Ross are siblings. That would explain the weird brother-sister vibe you’ve got going on. And the same last name thing. (Monica shoves him) Jealous of him?

Monica: A little... I mean, after breaking up with Richard, I kind of miss having no one.

Chandler: I understand. It’s even worse when the last serious relationship you were in was with Janice. (shivers; Monica laughs)

Godeerc: Ma’am, you wouldn’t happen to be the sister of the groom, would you?

Monica: Yeah, I am.

Godeerc: And you’re the best man, sir?

Chandler: Well, I do consider myself very highly. The best? I guess you could say that.

Godeerc: You’re definitely Chandler Bing. Drink? (holds up a tray)

Chandler: Don’t mind if I do. Or, really, I do mind if I don’t, if you really think about it.

Godeerc: Absolutely. By the way, is it noisy in here, or is it just me?

Monica: No, all the hustle and bustle. (sighs dreamily) But you gotta admit; it’s giving me a headache. Let’s go check out the honeymoon suite.

Chandler: Yeah. That sounds like fun. But let’s not touch the bed. I watched a forensic show once. (shivers)

(time lapse)

(the two sitting on the bed, drinks in hand)

Chandler: (intoxicated) And, then, she cut off my toe!

Monica: You called me fat! (also intoxicated)

Chandler: Well, you DID get skinny.

Monica: Why, thank you. (flaunts herself, but laughs)

Chandler: Yeah, you’re totally hot now.

Monica: So are you.

Chandler: Really?

Monica: No, I was lying. (Chandler gives her a puppy dog face) Oh, okay, you are very cute.

Chandler: Thank you. You know what we’ve never done?

Monica: Bungee-jumped?

Chandler: No, we haven’t. We also have danced naked in Central Park wearing flowers over our heads and praising the gods of joy.

Monica: Phoebe has. She lives with a duck.

Chandler: No, that’s Joey and Chandler. Hey, I remember Chandler. He’s a funny guy. (pause) You know, I don’t think we’ve also ever kissed, like really.

Monica: If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to take advantage of a drunk girl, but, luckily, there’s not enough blood in my alcohol to make me… not knowing of that fact. I know I really want to kiss you. (kisses him) Now we have kissed. Know what else we’ve never done? (whispers in his ear)

Chandler: (smiles) Ooh, I like doing that. But do we do that?

Monica: Well, no, but why not? (without waiting for answer, kisses him) Ross and Rachel will get their turn with the bed.

Godeerc: (who’s been sitting a chair, watching) I’ll be leaving now. (exits)

Scene 7: Central Perk, Present

(the gang sitting around the couches, again de-trancing)

Godeerc: Well, what do you think?

Joey: I think I’ll never get used to that “glimpsing” thing.

Monica: Hey, if I’m engaged to Chandler again, I’m happy. Though are alcohol and a one night stand really required for us to get together? (pauses) Well, come to think of it…

Chandler: I’d be insulted, but come to think of it… (looks at hand) And yes, there’s the ring. You da man, Godeerc.

Godeerc: (calmly) Thank you.

Monica: (noticing something) Phoebe, you’re pregnant!

Phoebe: (who is indeed about six months with child) Oh, wow, I am. Cool! (silence)

Ross: So, don’t you want to know why?

Phoebe: Oh, yeah, that’d be nice to know.

Godeerc: (thinks) Rachel, remember you wanting a bonus night on Monica and Chandler’s engagement night?

Rachel: Yeah, (pause) but how do you know?

Godeerc: I have my ways. You’d be surprised.

Rachel: Just one question, how does me wanting a bonus night get Phoebe pregnant?

Godeerc: Well, Ms. Green, or Mrs. Geller should I say, (each one smiles) why did you want a bonus night?

Rachel: ‘Cause I was wishing that I had “the One.” I didn’t have anyone.

Godeerc: But you did.

Rachel: (looks at Ross and smiles) I did, didn’t I?

Monica: But Phoebe didn’t.

Phoebe: So I had a bonus night. With who?

Godeerc: Who was available?

Chandler: The only people at our engagement night were the six of us. (all heads turn to Joey)

Joey: What? Why are you all looking at...? (gasps; shakily points a finger at Phoebe’s stomach) That’s... that’s mine?! (Godeerc nods)

Phoebe: Wow, must have been some bonus night. (looks at her hand, finding it bare; her face turns to anger) Joseph Francis Tribianni! Why am I still single if it’s your kid?!

Joey: (trembling) I don’t know. I could never abandon you. Could I?

Godeerc: You go MIA for about a week, but come back willing to work things out, but Phoebe tries to kill you.

Joey: (scoots away from Phoebe) Uh, can you fix that?

Godeerc: Without a glimpse. (simply) Breast pocket.

Joey: (grasps his chest, and smiles; turns to Phoebe) Uh, Pheebs?

Phoebe: (cold) Uh-huh?

Joey: Phoebe, if that really is my child in there, you know I would do anything for him. It’s a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. I’ve always felt we shared a special bond. So, Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me? (A/N: Imagine The One With the Red Sweater for Phoebe’s response)

Phoebe: Hell yeah, it’s your kid. (grabs his face and kisses him; he sits down beside her) So, what happens now?

Godeerc: Well, that’s the future. I can’t promise these results, but you and Joey do marry. It’s not a marriage of love, per se, but you do become monogamous and, yes, involved (tilts his head to imply something). Your friendship and the baby keep things together. I cannot say it’s the best path of life for you two, in terms of finding one’s soul mate, for example. (checks his watch) I can’t stay a whole lot longer, but I’d be willing to try to fine tune some more.

Phoebe: Nah, we’ve already messed with fate enough for one night. I can live with Joey. Plus, you never know what’s around the bend. It what you described what is going to happen?

Godeerc: It’s a prediction based on some pretty high-level information. Telling you it one of the biggest exclusion.

Monica: Wow! That was amazing. In about half an hour, you’ve changed our lives. Kept Chandler and I engaged, gotten Ross and Rachel together… kudos by the way… and gotten Joey and Phoebe together… sort of…

Ross: Yeah, I always said under the right conditions, Rachel and I would be… Rachel and I, and well, you set the conditions. I can’t thank you enough.

Rachel: Yeah, it’s gonna be weird having a daughter named Emily, but… (looks at her baby)

Godeerc: You’re all very welcome. I’ve been watching you for a great many years, and I can say I’ve enjoyed showing you that life can be happy. May we meet again. (he leaves amidst thanks from the group; bumps into Jessica) Oh… hey, here’s my card… (gives it to her) Call me and we’ll catch up, okay?

Jessica: (smiles) Sure.

(he leaves)

Phoebe: You don’t have to be a mystic to see what’s gonna on over there…

Rachel: (rolls her head back, closing her eyes) Wow, guys that was strange, but I really can’t believe how happy I am right now. (she erects her head and looks at her baby, but finding her arms empty) Where’d Emily go? (looks around)

Monica: Phoebe, you’re not pregnant anymore!

Phoebe: Whoa, I’m not.

Rachel: My wedding ring! It’s gone!

Ross: So is mine.

Phoebe: Mine too.

Monica: I’ve still got mine.

Chandler: Ditto.

Rachel: I don’t believe it. He just left and all that stuff just disappeared. He didn’t change the past. He just showed us what it’d be like if he did.

Ross: So, no marriage? No baby? Damn…

Rachel: I guess not. So, this means Chloe had happened again.

Ross: No! No; it cannot be back. Just when I’d gotten rid of it. Rach...

Rachel: Uh-uh. This means you slept with her.

Ross: Rach! You care more about the fact that it happened rather than the fact that I didn’t choose for it to, and would much rather it didn’t.

Rachel: You always have… and it’s not like you weren’t in control of it.

Ross: I wasn’t. Rach, I didn’t want something like that to happen before. I didn’t want it to have happened afterwards. I was drunk, so I didn’t know what I wanted when it was happening. If I was sober, would I have wanted it? No. Rachel, a moment ago, you were overjoyed with the fact that you were married to me, and that we had a baby. If that makes you happy, why don’t we fix it ourselves? We don’t need a mystic for that…

Rachel: No, Ross. I understand that Chloe wasn’t your choice, but I’m sorry, but the fact that it happened just scares me.

Ross: You had a baby. You loved it.

Rachel: (cold and sarcastic) Well, if I have any babies with you, maybe I’ll think it over. (^_^ - Hehehe)

Phoebe: (sweetly) So, Joey, you would ask to marry me if I was having a baby... even if it wasn’t yours?

Joey: (a bit scared) Uh... yeah.

Phoebe: That’s nice. (leans closer and flirts)

Joey: Listen, guys, I’ll be in my apartment.

Phoebe: Whoo. Sounds nice.

Joey: (to Chandler, whispering) Help me, please.

(END)

A/N: Nice, that was really fun. I am so doing another one of these. I’ve got to get a new idea first, though. But when I do, it TOW Mystic, Part 2. (A better name will be provided.) Anyway, I really enjoyed writing this fic. Though, I think it’s a bit shorter than most of my other fics. My usual is about 15 pages per story, but this one’s only about twelve. I think I’ll go back and add some content. Thank you for your reading. Please review if you enjoyed it.

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(^_^) – I am Sonriso, the Mystiquito. Good-bye… and good luck.

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