The One With the Winter Dance

by Godeerc VanDrey

with Creedog VanDrey

Category: Friends

Genre: General, Humor

Rating: PG

Language: English

Summery: The last part of this series! Assorted mayhem occurs when the LHS student council prepares for the Winter Dance. I wish there was more to this summery.

A/N: Okay, I’ve finally gotten to the last part. Goodness knows when I uploaded the last part. Not to long ago, maybe a month or two, which is getting to be amazingly good for me. I was looking at my other stuff, and it was uploaded last Christmas! Christmas is approaching now. It’s entirely likely it’ll be Christmas when you first read this because it’ll take me forever and a half to finish this.

Scene 1: The Choir Room at LHS, Before School

(Annacaye and Jessica singing)

Annacaye: (breaking out) And I… will always love you (dances a bit).

Jessica: (interrupting) Annacaye, you’re getting jiggy with it.

(A/N: Please momentarily disregard the fact that this is 1986.)

Annacaye: So?

Jessica: Mrs. Brothers will teach us the choreography later. You can’t just make up your own dance.

Annacaye: Why not?

Jessica: Annacaye, we talked about this. Remember the Christmas Concert?

Annacaye: The audience loved it.

Jessica: If, by the audience, you mean your mom.

Annacaye: There were other people there? (Jessica sighs) You’re just jealous ‘cause you can’t jig. (Jessica groans) C’mon, show me some stuff. (starts shaking her hips) C’mon.

Jessica: Oh, brother. (embarrassingly dances)

Annacaye: A little more. Strut yo’ stuff.

Jessica: (loosens up) You’re jive-talking.

Annacaye: Hey, no problem wit’ dat. I’m jus’ an Irish sistah. (dancing “freely”)

Jessica: (who is dancing quite freely as well) I tell you, Annacaye. Are you crazy in the head?

Annacaye: Well, on a scale from one to ten, I’m a (drops on her knees) superstar!

Jessica: (still boogeying) You’re telling me.

Female voice: (taps Jessica on the shoulder) Jessica?

Jessica: Ah! (jumps)

Mrs. Brothers: Jessica, it’s okay, Honey. I’ve already got choreography. Maybe you should study your music like Annacaye.

Jessica: Annacaye’s not… (Annacaye is sitting on the floor reading her music and practice pitches silently) What?

(Mrs. Brothers walks away)

(Jessica looks over Annacaye’s shoulder and sees that she’s reading a love note)

(OPENING CREDITS: As I promised the New Friends scenes)

(“So no one told you life was gonna be this way,” James, Phillip, Matt, and Daniel fall out of a van when the frozen door opens)

(“You’re job’s a joke,” medieval-dressed Halley is squirted with water by Eric the Villain on stage; “You’re broke” Christopher passively pulls the fire alarms after an electrical flash inside a room)

(“You’re love life’s DOA” Katie shakes her hips like no one’s business)

(“It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear” Adrienne is wide-eyed at her picture on the football stadium screen)

(“When it hasn’t been your day…” James in pain after Monica steps on his foot)

(“your week…” Justine lays in a sheetless bed kicking her little brother)

(“your month…” Annacaye looks envious at Irish dancers before throwing grapes on stage)

(“or even your year…” Rachel walks out burnt after a chemistry explosion)

(“I’ll be there for you” Matt writes on the chalkboard while James and Daniel play chess; “when the rain starts to pour” James, Matt, Chris, Daniel, and Phillip runs off as Amber approaches)

(“I’ll be there for you” Zorro-esque Adrienne, Patrick, and Marda knock a Godfather-esque drum major over onto his trophies; “like I’ve been there before” Annacaye dances with her mom)

(“I’ll be there for you” Chris looks condescendingly at Halley, who is holding a curly-haired toddler; “‘cause you’re there for me, too” Chris, CJ, Daniel, Halley, and Amber laugh together, while Katie looks confused, and the rest look annoyed)

(A/N: I know it was supposed to be the second verse, but I got too inspired)

Scene 2: A Classroom

(Student Council is meeting)

Rachel (with large nose): Okay, on the agenda, we have the Winter Dance this Saturday. Ticket price is going to be three dollars. It will start at 7:00 and end at 10:30. Why so early?

Mrs. Roll: Rachel, Honey, in addition to the teachers going crazy after three and half hours, if we go any later, we might have more couples making out in the closet like we did last time. If I ever find those two.

(Rachel diverts her eyes and nervously fixes her hair)

Tyler: By the way, are we really publishing the date list?

Mrs. Roll: The what?

(Rachel diverts her eyes and nervously fixes her hair)

Tyler: Um, the packet says that the school newspaper is publishing a list of all the couples.

Mrs. Roll: Who suggested that?

(Rachel diverts her eyes and nervously fixes her hair)

Halley: Rachel did. She wanted the whole school to know that she was going with Chip Matthews.

Rachel: And that you’re going with… that guy.

Halley: Yeah. “That guy.”

Rachel: You got a dress?

Halley: Yeah.

Other girls: Yeah. Uh-huh. Of course.

Jeff: You bet.

(they look at him)

Jeff: C’mon, I’m kidding. Last time was just a prank.

Scene 3: Mrs. Oldsbright’s Trigonometry Class

(Christopher, Matt, James, and Daniel quietly chatting at their desks)

Matt: Chris, you going with Halley to the dance on Saturday?

Christopher: Yeah.

Daniel: Well, of course he is. He asked her months ago.

Matt: Yeah, they’re serious. Been going out for months now.

Christopher: We have not. (pushes a few buttons on his calculator) It’s been… 109 days, 2 hours, 13 minutes, and 54 seconds. 56… 57… 58… Well, I guess it has. We just agreed at the beginning of the year to go to dances together and stuff. I’d be surprised if we got married or anything.

Daniel: And, of course, Jim Bob over there is going with Amber.

James: One of the perks of having a girlfriend. You can have one of my old ones.

CJ: (scoots over) Not Cammie. I’ve already asked her. (scoots back)

Daniel: Dibs on Megan.

James: One, I thought you were going with Allison. Two, why?

Christopher: It’s a joke. Besides, she and Luke are attached at the hip.

Matt: The hip?

Christopher: Touché. They like to double date with Rachel and whoever the heck she’s dating at that point in time.

Daniel: Where do they go? I’ve never heard of them going places together.

Christopher: Well, according to Halley, who’s in Student Council with Rachel, Megan and Luke go to the second row seat of Luke’s mom’s minivan and Rachel and Boy-of-the-Week go to the third row. But sometimes they mix it up by switching.

Daniel: Switching…?

Christopher: Rows. (pause) Well, Halley thinks it’s just a rumor, but…

Mrs. Oldsbright: Christopher, what did you get?

Christopher: (quickly presses buttons on his calculator in his lap) Is it 4x + 9 = y?

Mrs. Oldsbright: Right. How’d you get that?

Christopher: Well, square rooting and solving for y.

Mrs. Oldsbright: Very good. It’s nice to see some people are actually paying attention in class. And aren’t dating my daughter!

(CJ falls out of his chair)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

Scene 4: The Football Stadium

(the Marching Band preparing to play)

Marie: (the “Pitmaster,” senior member of the band’s front ensemble) Okay, unload the truck.

(several students run into a large moving van-like truck)

(a few of the girls roll field keyboards down a ramp)

(a few of the boys at the bottom catch them and shove them across the field)

(the keyboards roll into perfect position)

(some of the people on the truck throw miscellaneous instruments: cymbals, tambourines, maracas, which are thrown to ground students, who throw them in the air, and the land delicately on carpet squares atop music stands)

Marie: (evaluating the flawless set up) Very good. You s’mores are catching on.

Mr. Cord: (talking into a megaphone) Okay, you saxes, get onto the field! Tubas, get your instruments off the truck! Cammie, get off the truck!

(Cammie Oldsbright is riding on the trailer bed of CJ’s pickup)

Jed: (a pit member) Hey, Chris, you don’t think now that the big competition’s over, everyone’s just gonna go crazy, are they?

Christopher: Nah.

(in the background, the three drum majors are dueling with their swords)

(a girl is being chased by another girl with a flag)

Christopher: (watching them pass with Jed) Wasn’t that your girlfriend?

Jed: Yeah. She’s crazy like that. Chasing people with flags and all.

Christopher: Jed, the girl who was being chased was Tessa, your girlfriend. The girl chasing her was Miranda.

Jed: Really?

Christopher: Yeah. Tommy Peterson dates Miranda.

Jed: He’s crazy, right?

Christopher: To date Mandy? He’s half past insane.

Tessa: (runs at Jed) Save me!

(he grabs her and pulls her out of the way from an incoming flag by Miranda, which bangs a keyboard)

Christopher: Tessa, one, he can’t. Two, he doesn’t need to.

Marie: (seemingly on the verge of insanity) Step away from the xylophone! (tackles Miranda)

Tommy: (walks up) Hey, Jed, get away from my girlfriend.

Jed: Tessa’s my girlfriend. Miranda’s yours.

Tommy: (thinks) Oh yeah. (sees Marie holding Miranda down) Marie, give me back my girlfriend.

Miranda: What are you talking about? I’m Tessa’s girlfriend.

(Christopher rolls his eyes; Tessa looks at Jed questioningly)

Scene 5: The Mall

(Jessica walking with her mom)

Mrs. Williams: Jessica, Honey, what kind of dress do you want?

Jessica: (looking around) Ooh, that one. (points at one)

Mrs. Williams: In your dreams, girl.

Jessica: Not just mine.

(her mom shoves her, almost without smiling)

Jessica: How ‘bout this one?

Mrs. Williams: Wow, I like this one it’s nice. It’s even elegant. It (looks at the price tag) cost more by first car!

Jessica: Mom, on clearance (points to a sign), plus… (takes a large handful of coupons out of her purse)

Mrs. Williams: How much does it save me?

Jessica: Chris had a program to figure it out. However, it had some bugs, so it told me that a dress in this price range would cost from 8 to 14½ cents. I did it on paper, and I got eleven hundred dollars. Then I made Steve figure it out on paper and he got forty-one dollars. I think he’s right.

Mrs. Williams: Forty-one isn’t at all bad for this baby. Let’s get it.

(they find the right size and take it away)

(Rachel and Monica walk up)

Rachel: Thanks for shopping with me. You wouldn’t believe the dress I found. It’s perfect. And they have one more in my size. Look, there it is. (points to a rack of dresses, the one Jessica just took a dress from)

Monica: Wow! Those are beautiful. I wish they had them in my size.

Rachel: Excuse me. (turns to forcefully stop herself from laughing) C’mon. We could get them fitted. I know this great place. They’re artists, I swear.

Monica: Let’s not. Last time we tried, they couldn’t match the fabric and I ended up with a foot and a half of darker material on each side.

Rachel: It’s okay. They have that store.

Monica: It doesn’t have a lot of selection.

Rachel: They can’t fit much more. The store’s too small.

Monica: I know. (reaches into her purse and takes out a cookie)

Rachel: Let’s see. (fingers through the gowns) Hey! Where is it? It was here yesterday. Maybe it’s on the floor. (she drops to her hands and knees)

(Jessica comes up wearing a calf-length red dress, showing her mom)

Mrs. Williams: It’s beautiful. (they walk off)

Rachel: (pops up) It’s nowhere to be found. It must have been stolen or something.

Monica: Or bought.

Rachel: Oh, no it wasn’t. God intended for me to have that dress. I know it!

Monica: It’s okay, we could get a larger size and have it sized down by those tailors you always take me to.

Rachel: What? They’re terrible! I’d never go there!

(Monica looks appalled)

Scene 6: LHS Cafeteria

(Daniel, Matt, Amber, Christopher, Halley, James, and CJ sit down at a table)

James: This is an awesome trick. Watch. Listen carefully.

(the table silences)

(Amber breaks out into an overwhelming fit of giggles)

James: See, isn’t that awesome? (he’s tickling her from underneath the table)

Amber: (breathing heavily) Stop, stop it. (she’s turning red)

(James ceases)

James: Isn’t someone else really ticklish.

(the table jumps)

(Christopher looks scornfully at Halley, who looks smugly devilish)

Matt: Hey, Allison. Hey, Allison.

Daniel: Somebody hit Matt. His record’s catching again.

(two Allisons, about the same height, but not particularly similar‑looking sit down)

Allison Delcolm: Very funny.

Allison Rorick: Yeah. We just may not go with you two to the dance.

Matt: No, please. And for the record, I wasn’t making jokes about you two’s state of clonification.

(the Allisons tilt their head and lower their eyebrow condescendingly in sync)

(^_^ - Bye, bye, bye.)

Matt: Joke has passed. Officially not funny anymore.

Daniel: Anyway, my mom will pick you guys up a little after six thirty.

Allisons: (in unison) Okay. Jinx! Oh, my gosh.

Allison R., Allison M.: (at the same time) How is it… What in the… that we can… world is… speak at the same time? … happening?

Allison R.: Allison!

Allison M.: Allison!

Allison R.: Allison!

Christopher: Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Oh, I get the game now. (the table jumps; Halley looks smugly devilish)

James: James? Daniel? Mrs. Oldsbright? Oh, I get it now, too.

(dead silence)

(uproarous laughter)

(laughter dies, except for Amber)

(Amber points at James, who is tickling her again)

(the table jumps)

Christopher: Halley!

Halley: It wasn’t me.

(Daniel, from across the table, looks smugly devilish)

Christopher: O, Dear Third Commandment.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(A/N: The follow scenes will take place at the dance, in different parts)

Scene 7: The Dance

(upbeat music playing; lots of teenage boys and girls dressed semi-formally dance)

(a new, very exciting upbeat song comes on)

(amidst the dancing thrall, Annacaye starts to break dance on the floor despite her periwinkle dress)

(she gets up, proud)

Michelle (a blond girl in an orange-colored dress): Charlie, (to her date) let me show off.

Charlie: I’d be crazy to try to stop you.

(she runs off and outperforms Annacaye)

(^_^ - No, Michelle, don’t anger it!)

(Annacaye catches it, looks competitive, and pops her neck)

(when Michelle is done, she gets back down on the floor, and starts a more challenging routine)

(Michelle gets back down and starts doing something even more complex routine…)

Scene 8: The Parking Lot Outside the Dance

(Daniel and Matt are talking as Mrs. Ponille parks)

Matt: Remember, we gotta escort them in. (fixes his tie)

Daniel: Why? (fixing his own tie)

Matt: ‘Cause it’s gentlemanly or something.

Daniel: Cool. (looks back) Which one?

Matt: What do you mean, “which one?”

Daniel: (whispering) I don’t remember which one I asked.

Matt: You forgot which Allison? Well, let’s see. I asked… I don’t remember who I asked! We asked jointly!

(Mrs. Ponille lets them out)

Matt: (whispers aside to Daniel) Just extend your arm. The right one will take it.

(they extend their arms)

(the Allisons, one in purple, the other in violet, freeze and smile)

Allison R.: (whispers to Allison M.) Uh-oh. Did Daniel or Matt ask me?

Scene 9: The Dance

(Ross at the drink table)

Ross: (to a girl) So, you want to dance?

Girl: No. (she walks away)

Ross: (yelling to her) Well, nice talking to you. (hits his head) Stupid, stupid, stupid. More suave, Ross, suave. (tries to look cool, but instead flaunts himself like a chicken)

Scene 10: The Parking Lot

(Christopher and Halley riding in the back seat with a small girl in a child seat)

Halley: (in a white-blue dress) Hey, Virginia, can I call you Ginny?

Virginia: (babbles)

Christopher: I don’t like the look in you got in your eyes. You’re only fifteen, Hal.

Katmondu: Meow. (jumps over the seat into Christopher’s lap)

Christopher: Sorry, but I’ll be getting out in a minute. And how does the cat keep ending up in the car?

Katmondu: Meow. Purr.

Christopher: I have got to refresh my Cateeze. Again, who lets their cat into the car?

Halley: You. I watched you sneak him in. You really need to get over this attachment thing. I don’t want him at (pauses, as if to say “our,” but catches herself) your wedding.

(Katmondu licks himself)

Scene 11: The Dance

(Daniel, CJ, and Amber chatting, which James, Matt, Allison M., and Allison R. looking confused, and apparently Katie straining to understand the chatting)

(Christopher and Halley walk in)

Daniel: (to a small group) Así pues, le dijo a Will que dijera que ella era varón y hembra. Ambos… Es una… no sé la palabra, pero, ¿comprenden ustedes?

Christopher: ¡Hola! Mon Señor Daniel. ¿Cómo estás?

Daniel: Muy bien. ¿Y tú, Cristobal? ¿Y Halí?

Christopher and Halley: Bien.

Amber: (in a dark scarlet dress, which by the way, makes her normally cherry-red hair look fiery) Mi novio, Diego, aquí, es un duelo. ¿Conocemos lo que estoy diciendo?

Christopher: Sí. Diego es…

CJ (navy blue tie): Es Diego. El ún y único.

Daniel: Ámen a ese, hermano.

Christopher: ¿Hablas “jive-charla,” Daniel?

Daniel: Sí.

Matt: (aside to James) Do you have any clue what they’re saying?

James: I speak some German, but no Spanish, yet.

Matt: English is it for me. I’ll take whatever to get the credits for next year. Hey, Katie, what are they saying?

Katie (in a pink dress, but not that pink): Well, I didn’t get one word of Daniel’s joke. I think it was a joke. I know he and Chris and Halley were just exchanging pleasantries, but they lost me after that. Five months of Spanish doesn’t teach you too much. Besides (points at her drink and smiles like a game show assistant) refresca.

(she walks away)

(Matt and James watch her)

Katie: I hope you’re not watching me walk away.

(she walks away again)

(a sultry song with a strong bom bom-bom rhythm starts)

(almost every guy in the place is watching her)

Rachel (in a red dress that almost looks like Jessica’s, but fits oddly well): (to Chip) You’re not looking at Katie, are you?

Chip (black suit with a devil-red and acid-green tie): Only to see what all these other loser pigs are. (she turns away and he admires Katie’s walking)

Scene 12: The Dance

(Monica, in a black dress, and a boy with bleached hair dance)

(Monica counts to herself)

(she steps on his foot)

Monica: Whoops.

Scene 13: The Dance

(Chip and Rachel are dancing)

(Chip is flirting with another girl)

Rachel: (sees him) Chip, what’s wrong?

Chip: Nothing, just had something in my eye.

Rachel: Okay. (she starts dancing again)

Scene 14: The Dance

(Christopher and Halley dancing)

(the song ends)

Disc Jockey: Okay, I hope you like that slow tune. Next up, a nice swing. Recommended by a young lady.

Halley: (huffs) I can’t swing.

Christopher: I know. I can, sort of, and I know a friend who wants to. Ten bucks says she’s the one who requested it.

Halley: Diana?

Christopher: Yeah. Do you mind?

Halley: Of course not. We just get dates to dance out of this deal.

Christopher: Thanks. Here she comes right now. (a short blond girl in an yellow, 20s-style dress walks up)

Diana: Halley, can I…?

Halley: You can have him for this dance, but I want him back in mint condition.

Diana: Okay, thanks.

(Halley walks away)

Diana: (as they swing dance) You don’t mind, Chris, do you?

Christopher: No. We just go to dances together and stuff. Plus, this is your thing. I just happened to have taken a swing class.

Diana: Oh, don’t give me that baloney. I can see a smitten boy a mile away. I can tell because it’s a look I’ve never gotten.

Christopher: Dare I bring up the Gan-man?

Diana: (shoves him) Shut up. (she does an aerial turn)

(at the end of the dance floor)

(a boy walks up to Halley)

Tyler: Hey, Halley.

Halley: Oh, hi, Tyler. Wanna dance?

Tyler: Can’t. (shows her his leg cast) Plus, I don’t give get-back dances.

Halley: What?

Tyler: Don’t give me that. Your boyfriend over there dancing with another girl.

Halley: He’s not my boyfriend, he’s my… uh…

(she watches Christopher and Diana do a complex move, though Christopher looks a little unsure)

(hands connected, they each put one arm over the others head; they release hand behind each others head, slide back, catch the outstretched hand, Christopher put Diana forward and she does an underarm turn, he pulls her back and they continue)

Tyler: Halley, you’re turning green watching him dance with his friend.

Halley: I’m not green.

(back to Christopher and Diana)

Christopher: I’m not green.

Diana: Chris, admit it, you hate seeing Halley talk to her ex.

Christopher: He’s not… okay, yeah he is. I don’t mind. She lets me talk to my exes.

Diana: (muffles a laugh) You don’t have exes. You told me the whole idea behind this whatever-you-call-it was that you would get some dating experience. Would it make you feel better to know she’s green as you are?

Christopher: (pause) Very funny. (looks around)

Scene 15: The Dance

(Monica is helping a boy walk get off the dance floor)

James: (dancing with Amber) Uh-oh, looks like Monica limped another one.

Amber: Wanna go check on him?

James: Yeah, we’d better.

(they walk over)

Monica: (sees them) Hey, James. Hi, Amber.

Amber: Hey, what happened?

Stewart: (the boy, who’s in pain) Pain.

Monica: I stepped on his foot.

James: I feel for you, man. (examines his foot, which is swelling; touches it) I think it’s broken… (feels around more) several times. Monica, call an ambulance.

Monica: (whines) Oh, no. My family’s gonna get sued. Are you a Baptist?

James and Amber: (offended) What?

Stewart: No, I go to Church of Christ, but I’m actually a practicing Neo-Satanist.

James: (pulls out a cross) Be gone, demon!

Stewart: (makes a semi-reptilian noise and flees, limping)

Amber: Where’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer when you need her?

(^_^ - Blooper alert!)

(a couple walks in, played by Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Sarah Michelle Gellar)

(Amber watches the boy, star-struck)

Scene 16: The Dance

(Chip flirts while Rachel dances with him)

Rachel: (looks at him) Chip?

Chip: (who was mouthing things to a girl, begins to yawn) Sorry, I didn’t get much sleep last night.

Rachel: Sure. Wanna go home?

Chip: I may.

Rachel: I’ll drive you.

Chip: I’ll drive. You don’t have a license. And that’s never stopped you before. But I’m not feeling well.

Rachel: I could… take care of you.

Chip: (smiles) Thanks. Some other time? I promise. (Rachel smiles) You need a ride home?

Rachel: (looks, then frowns) No, my dad’s picking me up.

Chip: Okay, see you later.

(Rachel giggles and turns)

(Chip motions, and a girl walks up to him and they leave together)

(in the background)

Ross: (at the punch table, to a girl) So, wanna dance?

Girl: No.

Ross: Okay, (she walks off) nice talking to... (he tips over the table with the punch bowl on it and it falls on him)

Scene 17: The Dance

(Amber, James, and Matt talking)

Amber: You see, James. I saw when you wanted to help out the person Monica limped that you’re a great guy. And that scares me because I know that there’s going to be a lot of girls that will want to date you, too. You’ve had so many girlfriends, I don’t feel that thing inside me that tells me it’s going to work out.

James: I see. I’ll admit that I’ve sampled a lot from the platter.

Matt: Caught lots of fish from the sea. Checked out several volumes from the Encyclopedia of Love. Gone the way of the promiscuous raccoon. Fallen off a horse and gotten right back up on a new one. Tried the three porridges, the three chairs, and the three beds…

James: Hey, it didn’t need that much reinforcement.

Amber: And because of all this, I’ve decided to break up with you and get together with Matt. He’s hasn’t had a date in his life.

Matt: (offended) I have too!

Amber: Shhh, Honey, I’m trying to let James down easy. (to James) I’m sure you’ll find someone wonderful.

James: Yeah, I know. You know, Allison’s been eyeing me for awhile.

Amber: You see… (beat) What?! You can’t be over me yet.

James: I know. It’s gonna be another ten minutes at least. Maybe fifteen if I’m hit by a nostalgia wave.

(longish pause)

(Amber looks appalled)

James: (smiles) I’m just kidding. I had a great time dating you. To tell you the truth, I kinda have been sensing the tension between you two. I even tutored Matt in the finer skills of dating you.

Amber: What? (starts laughing uncontrollably as Matt tickles her)

James: (like a coach) Perfect, Matt, perfect. Exactly where I told you. I always knew you’d catch on quickly. (pats him on the shoulder)

Amber: (turning red) Stop! Stop!

(Christopher and Halley walk up)

Christopher: Matt, what are you doing? You’re encroaching on complete Jim Bob privileges. We can’t all tickle her. We can all make fun of her and make her blush and stuff, but tickling a major no-no.

Amber: No, it’s okay, I dumped James for Matt.

Christopher: (mildly angry) You went through a spontaneous single displacement reaction? Your covalency is something that you must cherish.

Amber: What did he just say?

Matt: Beats me.

Christopher: Okay, I’ll get used to this, but who’s Allison D.’s date now that you to have covalented?

James: (desperately) That’s not a real word.

Matt: How did you know that Allison D. was my date? I didn’t even know that.

Halley: How did you not know that?

Matt: Well, I knew it was one of them.

Christopher: Oh, brother.

(Tommy and Tessa, and Jed and Miranda walk by)

Christopher: Guys, you not with your correct dates.

Jed: No, it’s okay, Chris. We switched.

Christopher: You went through a spontaneous double displacement reaction?!

Tommy: What?

(Miranda looks around and drags Jed towards the snack table where she picks up a plastic knife and smiles evilly)

Matt: Well, I let the boyfriend and girlfriend who actually stayed together dance one last time.

(they walk off)

Christopher and Halley: (in unison) He’s not… She’s not… my boyfriend… my girlfriend.

(they look at each other)

Halley: Christopher, where are we?

Christopher: I’d say the dance floor, Halley.

(another teenage boy walks in alone)

(he’s got dark hair and is wearing a suit)

(^_^ - Serious secret plot-forming going on.)

(he goes to Jessica, who standing and watching)

Boy: May I have this dance?

Jessica: (look at him) Uh, sure… Who are you?

Godeerc: My name’s Godeerc. I don’t know where my parents got it. I’m going to change it to Gregory or something. So, the dance? You looked pretty lonely all by your lonesome.

Jessica: (smiles) Sure.

(they dance)

(Creedog: LOL.)

(GV: So what? You’re dancing with Halley.)

(Creedog: You said I could hook you up with someone because you hooked me up with someone. A deal’s a deal.)

(Christopher waves as he walks by and Godeerc nods to him)

Halley: Who’s that? He kinda looks like you.

Christopher: We’re related somehow. And some people look like you, too. (as a boy with Halley’s hair color and some resemblance walks by with a date)

Halley: (repeatedly hits him) Martin does not look like me!

Christopher: (laughs) I’m kidding. Besides hair color and stuff.

Halley: Hello, highlights. (pointing to a tress of her hair)

Christopher: Got it.

Halley: I’m just glad I don’t have to share a room with him anymore.

Christopher: You told me you never had to share a room with him… (sees her expression) As fetuses doesn’t count. (sighs) You know, in movies, twins are a lot closer.

(Halley just raises her eyebrow)

Scene 18: The Dance

(Rachel and Monica looking at Jessica and Godeerc dance)

Rachel: So she’s the (mumbles) that took my dress.

Monica: I guess.

Rachel: Well, she’s getting hers. I spread the rumor that (whispers in Monica’s ear)

Monica: (eyes widen) She’ll do that? But when Stacy Krugmann spread that same rumor about you, it made you popular.

Rachel: Well, for one, it was true.

Monica: Well, yeah. It never worked for me.

Rachel: (to stop herself from laughing, goes into a coughing fit) Sorry, (inhales and exhales) something must have got caught in my windpipe. (pause) So, you think the rumor will spread?

Kendall: (a dark redhead with glasses; with a super-dorky persona pops up behind Rachel) Nope.

Rachel: What you mean, (mimicking him) “Nope.”

Kendall: Your rumor-spreading Bozo told the rumor to Jessica, who denied it. He got so confused, he started telling everybody that not only does she not; you don’t.

Rachel: No! Why?

Kendall: I told him to. (he slips away)

Rachel: Dang! Why do nerds have to be so sneaky?

(Annacaye tackles Michelle while Charlie looks from the sidelines, terrified)

(COMMERICAL BREAK)

Scene 19: Student Council, the next spring

(Halley proposing something in front of the council)

Halley: I know we planned to have the dance on Friday, but I suggest that we move it to Saturday, so that the students will be able to see both the play and attend the dance.

Rachel: And this has nothing to do with the fact that you are in the play?

Halley: Hey, they rescheduled the freaking prom for you last year. And you weren’t even attending this school yet!

Rachel: Well, sorry. Daddy was taking me to see a horse show.

Cleo: (under her breath) And bought her two of them.

(in the back)

Mrs. Roll: (aside to Christopher) By the way, why are you here?

Christopher: My calculator passed the math test.

Mrs. Roll: You did or your calculator did?

Christopher: Minor details.

Mrs. Roll: Any other ulterior motives?

Christopher: Her birthday’s Friday, too. She didn’t want a dance on her birthday.

Mrs. Roll: Oh well.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

Scene 20: Halley’s House, That Saturday

(at her party, Halley looks dejectedly out the window, where it is snowing)

Christopher: (walks up to her) Wow, that snow’s coming down pretty hard.

Halley: (still staring) They canceled the dance.

Christopher: I know. By the way, Happy Birthday.

Halley: (gives him a grave look)

Christopher: Halley.

Halley: People are going to hate me.

Christopher: Oh, come on. No one keeps a grudge for that long.

Halley: (frantic) It’s going to be our wedding, and people won’t come because planned a dance on the date there was a freak April snowstorm. Rachel’s gonna have my neck. She’s going with Chip. Or was, until I came around.

Christopher: Have some cake.

Halley: I don’t want cake.

Christopher: (enticing) It’s chocolate. (shows her a piece)

Halley: I don’t care.

Christopher: It’s triple chocolate.

Halley: (looks over) Gimme. (takes a fork and starts to eat it)

(ENDING CREDITS)

Christopher: So, “our wedding”?

Halley: (laughs) Yeah. I said that without thinking. I mean, it’s not like we aren’t. Or aren’t not going to. I mean, it’s just us doing stuff now, and… well, you know…

Christopher: Yeah, I know. It the Powers-That-Be wanted us to get married, I’m sure they’d give us a sign. (forks a piece of cake) Hey, I got the “e” and the “y.”

Halley: Ooh, give me the “y.”

Christopher: (cuts out the “y” and goes to put it on Halley’s plate) Here.

Halley: (starts to bite it out of his hand, but pauses)

(they look at each other, wide-eyed)

Christopher: (draws his hand away) Well, uh…

Halley: (swallows the piece of cake) Yeah, um… ooh, other party guests! (points)

Christopher: Let’s go talk to them.

(they walk over)

(END)

A/N: Wow. That took too long. Anyway, I had a snow day today, so I got to finish this up. Anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this one. It’s been on the schedule forever, so I’m glad I finally got through it. I went through another inspiration shower, so that’s why it’s so long. On a word processor, it’s 23 pages. I’m going to start making sure I’m over fifteen. Fifteen is my normal amount, but I’ve found that they read to quickly, so this one was longer.

^_^ - Not to mention you were over-inspired.

Granted. Anyway, big thanks to Creedog, who this story would not have been possible without his desire to include every person he has ever known in caricature.

Anyway, let’s see what’s in the works:

The One After Five Years: Another New Friends fic. This one will be Christopher and Halley’s five-year anniversary. I’ve not gotten all the details ironed out, so I’ll need to get some ideas flowing in my journal. All the Friends are invited, and they have conversations about children and so on.

Creedog: Will you never give up on Halley and me?

GV: Nope.

The Musical Episode: Some crazy idea I have. I’m going to do a musical episode that will recap the entire series of Friends. Of course, it will be added on to as is “The One With the Aphorisms.”

^_^ - Huh? (chuckles) You’ve never updated it!

The One With the Auras: I have to work on this one. I don’t want to abandon it, but I don’t have inspiration. Well, I did, but it’s pretty bland now, so I’ll have to start looking at it. When I’m done, of course. Oh, by the way, it’s about Phoebe talking about auras and how things go crazy afterwards as the gang thinks about what Phoebe has said. One, that was a really bad summery. Two, that’s a good summery, so it’s a bad fic. Uh-oh.

The One with the Sweet Dreams: Pretty much ditto to the above. Something in the back of my head is telling me these are just rotten fish. Stinkers. Not-to-be-written’s. I just need stuff on my plate so I don’t give up. Too many metaphors.

By Creedog:

VII. The One With the Final Glimpse: This is no longer as ominous, but this is the last of the Godeerc fics. No! Don’t cry! I’ll write more, but they won’t be part of the series. In fact, I want to write more. I think you like them. Anyway, this one will be very dramatic. Not comedic. Well, maybe some comedy, or it will be too short. We’ll just have to see.

Non-Friends fics:

The Mystic in the Hellmouth: Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. I don’t know what I’m going to do with this.

The Krisreo Varaqué Series: A Star Wars fic. Novel form. Not working out so far.

Sinner’s Conclusion (name will be changed): Will be a very scary Hellfire and Brimstone fic. Just something I needed to get out. Will be profound! Warning!

Everything else is just in the planning stages, so I won’t mention them. For goodness’ sake, Sonriso, close the fic with a corny line!

^_^ - Everybody dance now! You can’t tell because I’m just a face, but I’m getting seriously too jiggy wit it! Annacaye would attack me if there were anything to attack.