The One With
the Junior Bridesmaid
by
Godeerc VanDrey
Genre: General, Humor, Romance (not listed because of
previous chapters)
Rating: PG
Language: English (some Spanish, though)
Summery: Christopher and Halley’s
wedding, which is hardly uneventful.
Joey flirts with all the bridesmaids, then
experiences problems at the reception’s buffet.
A/N: And now for the third and final chapter to this story. The wedding of Christopher and Halley. I know how long you have waited for this. (Possibly not very long.) I have done a lot of work on this and I promise you I will try to make it funny, and to keep the mushy parts to a minimum. (Hopefully it will stay sweet, though.) This part will bring in more characters, including the Junior Bridesmaid, one of the last of Creedogmon’s characters, Virginia Frend. (I know she had a different name, but this one protects the identity of the original better. I may actually add the ninth character. We’ll see. You would know what I’m talking about if Creedogmon would re-post his fics. (C: Hey, I’m working on it.) Anyway, here it is.
Scene 1: Central Perk
(Chris and Halley on the couch, surrounded by everybody
else)
Matt: So, today’s the big day.
Christopher: Yeah. (smiles at
Halley, who blushes and smiles back)
Adrienne: Halley, you ready to go? Rachel and Monica are more excited than you.
Rachel: C’mon. We
are going to make Chris very happy about marrying you.
Monica: Yeah, but if we don’t hurry, we can’t accomplish
that.
Christopher: No one could make me not happy about
marrying her.
Jessica: Get them out before they start to sicken the
customers.
(Monica grabs Halley and pulls her away)
Halley: Can I at least kiss him good-bye?
(Monica debates it; Rachel unclasps Monica’s hand)
Monica: Make it quick.
(Halley kisses Chris, but doesn’t break it)
Monica: Not quick enough. (pulls
her away and out the door, with the rest of the girls following behind.
Ross: (sits down beside Chris) You’re
very lucky. Today,
is your wedding day. I know how you
feel.
Joey: Ross, you and Carol broke up.
Ross: Not the best time to bring that up.
Christopher: That’s all right. I won’t let go. I can’t break the Holmes tradition.
Matt: The what-tradition?
Christopher: No one on my mom’s side of the family has
ever gotten a divorce.
(OPENING CREDITS for regular cast)
(Second verse for guest stars)
(Christopher shows a bored Halley a software box, John Cusack
and Sarah McLachlan
appears as credits)
(James, Matt, and Daniel sing enthusiastically in
Monica’s bedroom, Ryan Seacrest, Brendan
Fraiser, Keifer Sutherland)
(Anna flirting with Ross at the museum, Angie Everhart)
(Justine kisses
(Phillip browses a souvenir store holding a model
penguin, Vince Vaughn)
(Jessica drops a tray at Central Perk, Debbie Matenopolous)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
Scene 2: A Church Narthex (the meeting area outside the
sanctuary)
(
Joey: Nice. These
church things are nice.
(when Ross and
Ross: (looks down)
Ross: They’ll forgive you. It’s Monica I’m worried about.
Monica: Hey, guys!
(
Monica: Pretty good, by the way, that plant looks very
nice with your suit.
Joey: You could always go back and put on the right
shoes.
Ross: You’ll just have to make it through the ceremony
with tennis shoes. We all make mistakes.
Joey: (laughs) Yeah, but this is a big one. (continues to giggle)
Ross: Hey, it’s Annacaye. (goes
over to her, where they kiss)
Old Lady: Hey, hey, you two. Break it up, break it up. This is the house of God. Let’s be decent.
Annacaye: Sorry. (the old lady
walks away; they resume)
Old Lady: (from elsewhere) Don’t
think I can’t see you. (Ross and Annacaye stop, frustrated)
Scene 3: Back of the Sanctuary
(Christopher, in tuxedo, with a red-headed man, a pregnant
brown-haired woman, and a small brunette girl)
Christopher: Hey, Destiny. So, you ready to be a flower girl?
Destiny: You’d better believe it. Mommy’s drill sergeant has had me practicing
marching for weeks.
Jed: (the red-headed man) She’s
a little feisty. You mind if I get a
couple of pictures of you and Halley after the wedding?
Christopher: Sure, but give us a break after the
photographer’s done. Thank for the
recommendation. (pause) You didn’t want to do it?
Jed: I knew you were going to invite me and Tessa and
Destiny, and I wanted to watch, and not have the whole “What angle would be
best?” “The lighting is just too low in here.” “Man, that bridesmaid is hot;
I’m definitely getting her picture!”
thing going through my head.
Christopher: Understood.
Hey, Tessa, you’ve got another one on the way. (motioning
to her stomach)
Tessa: (none too excited) Yeah. I don’t know how we’re going to survive if
it’s anything like Destiny.
Scene 4: Narthex
(
Christopher:
Christopher: You too!
And I see you’re as into fashion as Rachel is. Buckets are the newest footwear trend in
Christopher: It’s a bit dark, but the bulb can be replaced. I’d suggest not wearing your bucket to the
wedding. It’d be almost as bad as if you
had worn tennis shoes or something.
Scene 5: Outside the church
(Ross kisses Annacaye against the wall)
Old Lady: (coming up suddenly) Now, what did I tell you?
(Ross and Annacaye throw up their hands in defeat)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
Scene 6: The altar
(Christopher, groomsmen, minister, and bridesmaids at
the front)
(Destiny comes down the aisle, tossing flower petals,
smiling like an angel)
(as she gets to the front, she
takes the rest of her petals and throws them in the air; still smiling at the
congregation)
(her smile turns evil; and she
sprints to the groomsmen and spank each of them as she passes, runs over to the
bridesmaid and grabs the legs of the maid of honor; who stumbles)
(Destiny unhooks herself, and takes her place at the end
of the line, and smiles angelically again, but that does not stop the teenage
junior bridesmaid from scooting back from her)
(Christopher the whole time muffles a laugh)
(Monica can be heard to whimper within the congregation)
(a boy and girl, presumably
twins, march down the aisle, each holding a pillow with a ring; they are
dignified and synchronized, but each one is subtly flirting with guests as they
go by)
(the Bridal March is heard on
the organ)
(Halley comes down in a wedding dress)
(A/N: Okay, I may be a guy, but I have to describe it
anyway. At this point, it gets pretty
sentimental. Read: “mushy.”)
(the dress is traditional,
full-length, white, and laced, with a long train; the sleeves are
quarter-length; her face is veiled)
(her hair is pulled behind her
ears by a two locks of braided hair; her long, brown hair is curled at the
bottom, but her bangs are wide-curled forward; she is carrying a bouquet of
multi-colored roses and carnations and such)
Congregation: (ooh-ing and aw-ing)
(Halley marches to the front ever so slowly; Christopher
looks absolutely star-struck)
(she reaches the altar)
Minister: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here... (the whole speech thing, which wouldn’t be heard because the
camera would drown out the talking with music, and would focus on the bride and
groom)
Rev. Brown: Does the Groom wish to say anything to the
Bride?
Christopher: Yes. (just gazing)
From the day I was born, I imagined my perfect life, and my perfect wife. From the day I met you, I was in love. Hopelessly. You are the most radiant beauty in the
world. Never passes a day that I don’t
long for more of your beauty. And this
day, may it be eternal that I possess such beauty, and am possessed. You are everything to me, my friend, my
partner, and my love. Te amo y te amaré por siempre. Halley Electra Demallora, mi
amiga, mi cónyuje, mi amante, alegría de mi vida,
Sombra, I hope that we may forever be as one. And
forever I mean.
Rev. Brown: And does the Bride wish to say anything to
the Groom?
Halley: Yes.
Never in my life have I been this happy.
You are alegría de mi vida, too. You are caring and
compassionate, and I could not have been luckier than to have met you, to have
fallen in love with you, and to have you fallen in love with me. A love so perfect, a love
so grand, and love so everlasting.
Eres como la lluvia que
maleablemente se cae, refrescando mi alma.
I hope to never lose you, to never leave you, to never not be with you.
‘Cause I don’t think I’d ever be happy if you
were here with me, in body or in spirit.
Christopher Todd VanDrey, I accept your love and give mine to you. (weeping)
Te amo, Llovizno.
Christopher: (weeping) Te amo por siempre, Sombra.
Adrienne: Wow.
Jessica: Uh-huh.
I’m definitely getting boyfriend.
Jessica: Don’t even start.
Rev. Brown: Do you, Christopher, take Halley, to be your
lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or
for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to
cherish; and promise to be faithful to her until death do you part? Do you?
Christopher: I do.
Rev. Brown: Do you, Halley, take Christopher, to be your
lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better
or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to
cherish; and promise to be faithful to him until death do you part? Do you?
Halley: I do.
Rev. Brown: Then, by the power invested in me by the
state of
(Christopher kisses Halley A/N: Think Wedding Singer again)
Annacaye: How romantic.
Ross: I know. (leans over to
kiss her)
Old Lady: Hey, watch it, big boy. This ain’t your wedding.
Ross: How the heck did you get behind us?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(A/N: Sorry if it’s seems short so far, but this next
part will be quite long to make up for it.
This is very a lot of the funny stuff.)
Scene 7: Fellowship Hall: the Reception
(Christopher and Halley greeting people)
Tom: (Christopher’s dad) So my
big boy got married finally. But I have
to admit, Mark beat you to it.
Christopher: I wasn’t getting married at sixteen.
Christopher: Same difference. He’d been dating her since he was forteen.
Samantha: (Christopher’s mom) Way to go, Christopher.
Christopher: (hugging her) Thanks, Mom.
Samantha: So, we’re teaching you to cook, right?
Halley: Yes, Mrs. VanDrey.
Mark: (Christopher’s brother, a very
built dark blonde) Hey, man.
Christopher: (hugs him) Hey, how’s it going?
Mark: Pretty good, were the twins okay?
Christopher: They were great, but Aaron was flirting
with Sara.
Mark: I try to explain to him, you can’t date your
cousins.
Christi: (Mark’s wife, a blond-haired lady) Hi.
Christopher: Hi. (hugs her) You spending time with my dad recently?
Christi: Yeah, we all went fishing last week.
Christopher: He loves you.
Christi: Well, I’m not a preppy girl.
Halley: Excuse me?
Christi: I’m kidding. (hugs
her) We’re not the terrible in-laws just yet.
Halley: (challenging tone) Ditto.
Scene 8: The refreshment table
(Christopher and Halley have cut and exchanged slices of
cake)
Joey: Wow, how sweet. (pause)
You’re a lovely cake, aren’t you? (cuts a huge slice;
and walks off and eats it) Whoa!
Weenies!
Christopher: Thanks, but you might want to back away
from the table a bit; I don’t think it likes being frisked.
Christopher: Hmm, strange guy.
Halley: Nice, but strange.
Scene 9: Dance floor
(the band playing and couples
dancing)
(the music stops, and all but
Christopher and Halley leave the dance floor; the song “What the World Needs
Now” plays; and Christopher and Halley dance slowly, and whole romantic scene
goes by)
(time lapse)
(a swing song is playing, and
it ends)
Band Leader: Okay, everyone,
clears the dance floor. We’ve had a
request from the Best Man. Apparently he
and some of his friends have a show for us.
(Matt and Rachel, James and Monica, and Daniel and
Phoebe assemble onto the dance floor)
Band Leader: One, two, three, one two three! (swing music plays)
(the three couples take off in
an elaborate swing presentation; complete with turns, flips, throws, and
everything)
(the song begins to close, and
after being spun, the girls spin back into the arms of their partners, and are
caught, Monica leaning in James arm, Phoebe with her leg held high into the air
by Daniel, and Rachel being held by Matt’s arm atop his knee)
(pause)
(Rachel slips and rolls off Matt’s leg; right onto her
face)
Scene 10: The restroom
(Joey comes out of the stall looking sick)
Joey: Oh, man, who knew eleven pieces of cake could make
you puke? (runs back in)
Scene 11: The reception
(Joey comes back into the room; and eyes the line of
bridesmaids)
(he walks up to one of them)
Joey: Hello, I’m Joey Tribianni, what’s your name?
Bridesmaid: Get lost.
Joey: Can I have your phone number, Miss Lost?
Bridesmaid: In your dreams.
Joey: Oh, dream I can do. I think maybe you should be the one dreaming.
Bridesmaid: Later. (walks off)
Joey: Get Lost.
I’ll have to look her up in the phone book. No woman can get away from the sly Joey
Tribianni.
(he moves on to the next
bridesmaid; he coolly leans against the table)
Joey: So, what’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place
like this?
Bridesmaid: I was a bridesmaid.
Joey: I know. I
saw you up there. You shouldn’t have
been. Some people didn’t even look at
the bride because of you.
Bridesmaid: Only the hormone-crazed, insensitive guys
who haven’t a thing better to do that hit on the bridal ensemble. Did you watch me the entire time?
Joey: You know it. (she walks
away)
(Joey moves on to the next bridesmaid, who is a bit shorter
than the rest)
Joey: Hi, miss, how are you today?
Joey: Name’s Joey Tribianni. And yours?
Joey: That’s a nice name.
Joey: Yeah, I’m a new friend, but we’ve gotten pretty
close in the last few months.
Joey: That’s great.
Christopher: (over to the side) Is
it just me, or is Joey flirting with
Halley: Oh, no. I
don’t think he knows how old she is.
Christopher: How hard is it to tell a fifteen-year-old
from a twenty-five-year old?
Halley: You’ve always said I still look in my early
twenties. (pause) That wasn’t just to get me to marry
you, was it?
Christopher: Yes and no.
Halley: Yes AND no?
Christopher: No, because it’s true. Yes, because it worked, didn’t it?
Halley: Yeah. (kisses him
briefly)
Christopher: Well,
Joey: Hey, just talking to
Christopher: That’s great. Oh,
Christopher: Oh, yeah.
See you round.
(leaves, with Joey looking very
embarrassed)
Scene 12: Outside the fellowship hall
(
(Christopher and Halley walk out;
Halley: What are you doing?
Christopher: Really?
What’s the position called?
Christopher: Got’cha.
Christopher: Wow, you okay?
Christopher: Wow, you must stretch your frontal thigh
muscles a lot, ‘cause if you’re not used to that, it can really hurt.
Christopher: Well, I think we can go for a few more dances before the night is
over. Mrs. VanDrey? (offers
his hand)
Halley: Mr. VanDrey? (takes his
hand, and they walk in)
(
Scene 13: Reception
(Christopher and Halley continue dancing)
Monica: I don’t know how she does it. My feet are killing me.
Phoebe: It might have something to do with the fact she
took off her heals before she even came to the reception.
Monica: (looks to see that Halley is indeed wearing
flat, cloth-like shoes) Well, I’ll be.
(Rachel enters; her left cheek is red from a bruise)
Monica: How’s it going?
Rachel: Well, my face is sore, I’ve a red mark larger
that
Monica: Okay. (Rachel groans) But my feet are in
terrible pain. (faking it) Ow, I’m in terrible pain. (rubs her feet; not faking it) Wow, that feels good. Hey, James...
Scene 14: Outside the building
(Ross and Annacaye)
Ross: (looks around) I don’t see her anywhere.
Annacaye: Me neither.
Who is she?
Ross: One of Halley’s great aunts or something. No need to talk about that now. (he kisses Annacaye, but hear footsteps)
(the old lady comes into the
light)
Ross: Ma’am.
Old Lady: Oh, don’t mind me. Now that you’re outside, I’m fine. Go get her, Tiger. (she
walks off)
Ross: Yes! (kisses Annacaye,
but stops) Ugh...
Annacaye: I know.
Ross: Now, I’m not in the mood.
Annacaye: Me neither.
That old lady is a curse.
Scene 15: the Fellowship Hall
(the kids running around)
Jed: (the red-haired guy) Tessa, want to dance?
Tessa: (the pregnant brown-haired girl) I’d love to, but
you’ll have to concur with her. (point to her stomach)
Jed: C’mon. I’ll
hold you up. (he picks up Tessa by the arms) You’d
better be glad you were such a skinny girl to start out with.
(they dance, not without some
difficulty, but with joyous smiles)
(Aaron, the small five-year-old blond-headed nephew of
Christopher is walking around)
Aaron: (to a bridesmaid) Want to dance?
Bridesmaid: (groans) What is it
with men? Do I have an invisible sign
that says, “Hit On Me”? (walks
off)
Aaron: I guess that’s a “no.” (to
the flower girl) Want to dance?
Destiny: I can’t.
Aaron: I’m five, do you think I can? I want to play tricks, and if people are
going to watch, I need to do something cute.
Destiny: You are way smart for your age.
Aaron: Tell me about it.
(the start to dance
unskillfully, and when everybody is looking at them; Aaron sprints away and to
the microphone)
Aaron: (into the microphone) Hey, Dad. Can I sing the song you always sing to Mommy?
(answer cannot be heard) Yes? (begins
to sing, “Wicked Game”)
(Mark grabs the microphone and Aaron runs off, laughing
like a loon, when Mark is pelted with a water balloon)
Ashley: (the light brown-hair daughter of Mark sitting
high atop a stack of tables) Got’cha, Daddy! (throw
another one at Rachel, who is knocked backwards in her chair) Score! (throws another one, causing a waiter to drop his tray onto
the parents’ table)
Destiny: Amateur. (throws a
ball, knocking off Ashley, who lands in Mark’s lap.
Ashley: So, hi, Daddy.
You’re not mad, are you? (you can tell from his
dripping face and the shade of crimson that it is, that Ashley’s wrong, very
wrong)
Destiny: Play time. (pulls out
a small whistle, and blows on it, but no sound comes out)
(suddenly, a fury of barking is
heard as several large dogs enter the Fellowship Hall; barking and eating off
tables, and creating general chaos)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(CLOSING CREDITS)
Scene 16: the Dance Floor
(most of the younger ones are
sleeping; Christopher and Halley still slow dancing on the dance floor; as are
Jed and Tessa, and Ross and Annacaye, and a few more couples; an orange cat
walks up to Christopher and Halley)
A cat: Meow.
Christopher: Hey, Katmondu. You coming back after the
dog herd?
Katmondu: Meow.
Christopher: I’ll take that as a “yes.” (picks him up and he and Halley pet it)
(CREDIT: Kate Winslet as Adrienne Kyles)
Jessica: Sure.
(CREDIT: Lauren Hillebrand as Diana Owler)
Jessica: Yes, I give dances. I’m just glad you’re not hitting on me anymore.
Adrienne: Yeah, you’re being really sweet. I’ll even dance with you next.
(Jessica and Adrienne nod)
(CREDIT: Kirsten
Storms as Virginia Frend)
(Jessica and
Jessica: (as
(the scene fades out to a
close-up of Christopher and Halley dancing with White Paws, and holding the cat
between them, they kiss)
(END)
A/N: Ta-da. Part #3, completed.
Wow, this one was fun to write. I
almost thought I wouldn’t have enough material, but it all worked out. It was a sweet fic and a funny fic, at least
in my opinion. You can tell me yours in
the review. I don’t mind people not
reviewing my work, I seldom do, but if you can, please
do. I enjoy seeing what you think. It also assures me people are actually
reading my work.
Oh, okay, since you asked, alternate titles: The One Where Chandler Wears Tennis Shoes, The One With Christopher and Halley’s Wedding (though this is one of the series names), The One With the Pesky Old Lady, The One With the Bad Flower Girl, The One With the Bad Ring Bearers, The One Where Joey Eats Too Much, The One With All the Bridesmaids, The One With the Swing Routine, or The One With the Random Cat
In the works? I have three stories in the works. I’ve got this technique of putting people I
know into fics, relating them to an idea, and writing a story about it. It’s a great system, and I can produce many
fics from it. This is my current era of
work. Later on, I may move on to the
fantasy fics I don’t have the inspiration to write.
As I look back at all my work, I see definite
phases. There’s the Romance Phase, a
common starting point for Friends authors, because they’re so easy. (TOW the
Mistletoe) Then there’s the Realism Phase, where I learned to mimic the show’s
story line. (TOW They Switch Places) Then there’s the phase I’m in right now,
the Altar Ego Phase, where I use acquaintances as characters and build a story
line around them. There’s the Fantasy Phase, which I may get the inspiration
for one day. There is also the Series
Phase, which because of the amount of time and work needed, passed by with only
one fic. (TOW Silver Friendship) I may get back into this phase sometime in the
future, and with it a full-length J&P story.
I know I have promised to do certain fics or second
parts to certain fics, but for right now, I don’t have the inspiration. Later on, I may do them, but for right now,
you may have to wait.
Also, I would like to apologize to anyone who is
unknowingly in this story, which would be anyone excluding Creedog
(Christopher). Actually since I first
wrote this, a couple of people have found it.
But not Halley.
Creedog is very happy about that.
^_^ - Good-bye! I
hoped you like the show. C&H
4eva! It’s great being a punctusmiley.
><
©2002. Created Wednesday, January 2, 2002. Updated October 16, 2004.