The One In
Sea World
by Godeerc VanDrey
Category:
Friends
Genre:
Humor, General
Rating:
PG
Language:
English
Summery: Season 6. While on vacation in
A/N:
And yet another fic from great and powerful Godeerc
VanDrey. Where do I get all this free
time? Well, I’m sure you don’t mind. Wow. I
am being really obnoxious and self-righteous.
I’m so sorry. Okay, this is
another fic from my Altar Ego Phase. The new and wonderful character in this fic is Marie. You
never realize how interesting your friends are until you make them into fanfic characters, and you make them with a caricature of
their personality, and they’re such interesting characters. Anyway, in this fic,
Marie plays a marine biologist whose working at Sea World for the time being,
and turn out really intriguing. (Well,
she does if I can portray her right.)
So, with out further adieu (whatever adieu is), The One In Sea World.
Scene
1: Entrance to Sea World
(The
gang plus Ben enter Sea World)
Ben:
Thanks, Daddy. Mommy Carol and Mommy
Susan wanted to stay in the hotel. Why
would they want to stay in the hotel?
Ross:
Because, Ben, they like to have fun alone.
And Joey, please stop thinking about it.
Joey:
Man.
Rachel:
Pheebs, check out this guy.
Phoebe:
(looks) Wow, nice.
Monica:
Who?
Rachel:
You see him over there?
Monica:
Aw, he’s not too bad.
(Ross
and Joey look at him)
Joey:
What are we doing first?
Ross:
Ben wants to go see Shamu.
Phoebe:
How we going to get tickets? That’s like
the most popular thing to do here.
Monica:
I ordered them in advance. We have
exactly forty-two minutes until show time.
(OPENING
CREDITS)
(COMMERCIAL
BREAK)
Scene
2: The Shamu show
(the seven of them watching the show, one seat behind
“Poncho” zone)
(Shamu
crashes into the water, and then two dolphins do the same in synchronization)
(the gang is splashed)
Rachel:
I thought we were out of the “Poncho Zone.”
Ross:
You think?
Ben:
Yay! I’m wet.
Ross:
Well, at least my kid’s happy.
Joey:
Yay! I am totally soaked.
Phoebe:
And mine.
Ben: Daddy,
can we go see Shamu?
Ross:
Maybe. We can probably sneak in to meet
the trainers after the show.
Monica:
This idiot will shut up in 3... 2... 1... (slaps
Scene
3: The water tank
(the gang quietly walks in; there is a lady at the edge of
the tank)
Ross:
Miss?
Marie:
(the trainer, in a wet suit; she has long, straight brown hair, and glasses)
Hello? How’d you get back here?
Ross:
(holds up an access card) The manager gave us
permission. My little son wants to see
Shamu.
Marie: Shamu’s been moved to his tank, but I’ll show you the
dolphins.
Ross:
Thanks. I’m Ross Geller. This is my son, Ben.
Marie:
Well, hello, Ben. My name’s Marie
Dublin.
Ben:
Hi, Marie.
Ross:
And these are my friends Rachel, Joey,
The gang: Hi. Hello. (etc.)
Ben:
Make the dolphins jump.
Ross:
Now, Ben…
Marie:
No, really it’s no problem.
Ross:
Thank the nice lady.
Ben:
(smiling) Thank you.
Marie:
(suddenly yelling like an army officer) Rocky!
Snipes! Here, now! (two dolphins obediently pop out of the water) Now, listen
here. (doing hand signals as well) I want a clean
divide, jump, and one-and-a-half barrel roll, head-first landing, a cross,
Rocky you’re on top, and pop up in each others places. Now go! (claps
twice)
(the dolphins dive and swim away; in unison, they leap from
the water, spin while airborne, dive, swim back, crossing over each other, and
popping up together)
Marie:
Okay, but Rocky, don’t think I didn’t notice that eighth of spin extra you
did. Spines,
got to go lower or you’re going to hit Rocky one of these days. (turns, friendly again) What did you think, Ben?
Ben:
That was cool!
Rachel:
You really seem to have a way with those dolphins.
Marie:
Yeah, I love dolphins. I’m really a
marine biologist, but this is my summer hobby.
Monica:
Nice, they seem to listen to you.
Marie:
It’s a gift. I just tell them what to do
and they do it.
Marie:
(laughs) Sort of. But they’ve been
trained to a demanding voice. It’s
normal conversation to them. Joey, I’d
tie your shoe. (Joey swiftly gets down on a knee to tie his shoe) And uh… What did you say your name was? Guy with the boy and too
much hair gel?
Ross:
I’m Ross. And you’re right. I should use less gel. (the
gang looks at him, amazed)
Monica:
How do you do that?
Marie:
Do what? By the way, could you pull your
hair back, I’d like to see your pretty face.
Monica:
(pulling her hair back) How do you… (notices her
hands) That! Get people to do what you
want?
Marie:
I don’t know. I’ve always been able to
delegate authority.
Monica:
Interesting. Want to go for a swim while
we talk about this?
Marie:
Yeah, I love swimming. (jumps into the tank; come back
up) You’re good. And you should come in;
the water’s great.
Monica:
Listen… (steps toward the tank) How stupid do you
think I am…? (
Marie:
Boyfriend’s got you. If
you really knew how to “delegate authority”, I’d get him to marry you. It worked on my husband, Curtis.
Monica:
I’m sure it did. But I don’t need to
force my mate into matrimony.
Monica:
It’s okay,
(Marie smiles)
Monica:
What did you do, curse me with your power?
Marie:
I guess I did.
Monica:
(sarcastic) Thanks a lot. Let’s go guys.
(they exit; Monica runs back in)
Monica:
I was just kidding. Thanks a lot.
Marie:
(smiles) You’re welcome, Monica. See you later.
Scene
4: Gift shop
(
Joey:
…and they’re shaped like Shamu, or a dolphin, or a seal…
Joey: I
know.
Joey:
(baffled) Whatever.
And I’d rather stay. This place
is da bomb.
Joey:
Suit yourself. And by the way, you talk
like a preppy girl! (just then a teen walks by talking
into a cell phone)
Girl:
Like, just a minute. (to Joey) Hey, I don’t, like,
insult your speaking style. (continues to chat on her
phone)
Joey:
See you later. Ooh! Mini stuffed animals!
Scene
5: At a manta ray exhibit
(Rachel
and Phoebe petting manta rays)
Rachel:
Ick! (yanks her hand out)
One just touched my hand.
Phoebe:
That’s the point. Quit being so girl. (jerks her hand out) It touched me! (embarrassed)
I was mimicking you.
Rachel:
Yeah right. (looks past Phoebe) Oh my
gosh. Pheebs,
major hotties.
Eleven o’clock.
Phoebe:
It’s two fifteen. (Rachel turns her head around) Leo DiCaprio. Nice butt.
Rachel:
That’s a girl.
Phoebe:
Oh, oops, now she turns around. Don’t
tell Joey I checked out a girl, okay.
Rachel:
Got it, but… (turns Phoebe’s head again)
Phoebe:
(her eyes widen) Wow. There’s some eye
candy.
Rachel:
C’mon. We’re going to go talk to them.
Phoebe:
What? (Rachel drags her to the guys)
Rachel:
Excuse me, could you tell me where the manta ray exhibit is?
Man:
(Victor, Russian accent)
Rachel:
Oh, why yes it is. You’re so perceptive.
Victor:
(catching on) Tank you. Ma name ees Victor Serapatov.
Rachel:
Rachel Green. And this is…
Phoebe:
Phoebe Buffay. (extends her hand)
Victor:
(takes it, but doesn’t shake it, instead kisses it) Nice to meet choo bofe.
Phoebe:
(giggles) Nice to meet choo too.
Rachel:
(annoyed) So, who’s your friend over there?
Victor:
Oh, yes. Garrett, come over heyr.
Garrett:
What is it, Victor? I’m trying to get us
tickets for our kids.
Rachel:
Kids?
Victor:
Eetz not like dat. We are instructors for a teen boys’ weight
lifting class.
Rachel:
Wow. Can I see your muscles.
(Victor stretches his arm, Rachel feels and practically melts)
A Small
Child: Daddy! Mommy’s waiting.
Rachel:
Good-bye.
Phoebe:
See you later.
Scene
6: The Gift Shop
(Joey
sitting on the floor)
Joey:
You’re free, Willy! (he makes an killer whale doll
jump over his leg) With your family, Willy! (moves
several more killer whale dolls across the floor) Dude! Dolphins!
Scene
7: Sea World Main Area
(
Monica:
Wow, are those fish pretty?
Monica:
I think they’re beautiful.
Monica:
(to herself) Yes. (to
Monica:
Look at that place. They have crystal
statues!
Scene
8: Outside A Restaurant
(Ross
and Ben eating hot dogs)
Ross:
What do you think, Ben?
Ben:
Can I have some more ketchup? (his hot dog is already
dripping with ketchup)
Ross:
Sure. (drops him a packet)
(Ben
smears it all over his hot dog, not to mention his shirt, which is luckily
covered with napkins)
Ross:
Oh, boy, Ben. (pulls of the dirty napkins, revealing
another layer of napkins, which Ross reinforces)
A Lady:
(college-aged) Excuse me, sir, could you point me into the direction of the
Shamu attraction? (opens her map)
Ross:
Sure, miss, if you go... (points to her map; while Ben
runs off) Ben? Ben?! BEN?! (runs off,
throwing his hot dog behind him, with hits the girl he was talking to)
(COMMERCIAL
BREAK)
Scene
9: Front Desk
(Ross,
looking very worried, comes up to the front desk)
Ross:
Excuse me, my son ran off. Would you
happen to know if he’s here?
Ben:
Daddy!
Ross:
Ben! Come here. Why did you run off?
Ben: I
got bored. You were talking to that
lady, and... (the receptionist looks at Ross
disapprovingly)
Ross: It’s okay, Ben. What
do you want to see next?
Ben:
The seals!
Ross:
Okay. (to the receptionist) I was not flirting. I was just showing a college-aged girl where a certain attraction was.
Receptionist:
A college-aged girl. I bet there was
some a certain attraction.
Ross:
He’s a four-year-old. He has a short
attention span. I was not talking to her
that long. (he leaves)
Scene
10: A Water Tank
(Phoebe
and Rachel going up to a man in a wet-suit feeding the dolphins)
Rachel:
Well, isn’t he precious?
Man:
(Jeremy) Yeah. Actually, I think this is
Princess, a girl.
Rachel:
Oh, well. She’s precious then.
Jeremy:
Here, hold out your hand. (Rachel smiles and does so; he plops a dead fish onto
her hand)
Rachel:
What? (Princess comes up and bites it out of her hand; Rachel screams)
Phoebe:
Rachel, what a girl. Here, let me feed
her. (Jeremy gives her a fish; Phoebe feeds it to the dolphin; she pets it;
says in a gentle tone) How slimy you are.
Jeremy:
Kind of rubbery, right?
Phoebe:
Yeah. Tell me, that fish was already
dead, right?
Jeremy:
Yes.
Phoebe:
So, it’s not anti-vegetarian, is it?
Jeremy:
No, but we can’t feed the dolphins just plants.
They need a lot of protein.
Phoebe:
Beans and peanuts have protein.
Jeremy:
Ever tried feeding that to a dolphin?
Phoebe:
(flirting) No, I haven’t. There’s
something interesting to do by my... twenty-fifth birthday. (Rachel rolls her
eyes)
Rachel:
So, you do this all alone?
Jeremy:
Feeding them? Yeah. My partner will come out every once in a
while, but he’s at home today.
Rachel:
Ah. So, does your wife works here? Oh, sorry, probably should have asked if you
were married first?
Jeremy:
No, I’m not. I just had my engagement
broken by my girlfriend.
Rachel:
Oh. That’s too bad.
Jeremy:
Every time.
Phoebe:
How many times have you had an engagement broken?
Jeremy:
Eleven.
Phoebe:
Why?
Jeremy:
Whole monogamy thing.
Rachel:
Well, listen, we’ve got a show to go to. We’ll see you later. (she and Phoebe run
off)
Scene
10: The Gift Shop
(Joey
still on the floor, with a variety of penguin figurines around him)
Joey:
(narrating dramatically) And just when the penguin
people thought their home would melt away, the Shadow came! (he
opens an umbrella) And the penguin people rejoiced. (makes
a high-pitched cheering sound while he makes the figurines jump up and down)
Scene
11: A Restaurant
(
Monica:
I know. What do you say we get a couple
of parfaits after our vegetarian hamburgers?
Monica:
Monica:
Thanks, honey.
Scene
12: The Gift Shop
(Ross
and Ben walk in and go to the swimsuit aisle)
Ross:
Well, which one do you think I should get?
Ben? Not again! (runs out)
(we see Joey listening to a Shamu children’s CD with
headphones, wearing Sea World plastic glasses, a Sea World cap, and dancing
with a large dolphin doll under one arm and a baby white seal doll under the
other)
Scene 13:
The Front Desk
(Ross
runs by again)
Ross:
Ma’am?
Receptionist:
Yes, sir. He’s right here. (Ben comes
out)
Ross:
Ben, why did you run off again?
Ben:
You spend forever looking at those swimsuits. (the
receptionist looks at him disapprovingly again)
Ross:
No, it’s not like that.
Receptionist:
I’m sure.
Scene
14: A Restaurant
(Rachel
and Phoebe in line to get food)
Phoebe:
You did look like an idiot.
Rachel:
How was I supposed to know you couldn’t pet the octopus?
Phoebe:
You didn’t have to put it out wrapped around your arm screaming bloody murder.
Rachel:
You didn’t react too well to that shark.
Phoebe:
It was a little shark! I didn’t even
know it was a shark. I don’t expect tuna
to snap at me.
Rachel:
Then stick to the canned kind.
Phoebe:
Tuna fish is not the same as the fish tuna.
Oh, no! Bad Phoebe, bad Phoebe! (starts hitting herself)
Cashier:
(to Phoebe, looking confused) Are you ready to order,
ma’am?
Phoebe:
(stopping) Oh, yes. I’ll have tuna
salad. Scratch that. Just a regular salad, with
Italian dressing.
(time lapse)
Rachel:
(after they’re done eating) You know where they get
Italian dressing, don’t you?
Phoebe:
(scared) No, where? It has a face,
doesn’t it?
Rachel:
Oh, I don’t know. Just
asking. You know where they get
perfume?
Phoebe:
No, and quit “just asking.”
Rachel:
From whale oil.
Phoebe:
Very funny. (Rachel just stares) Oh, no! (drops her
head, right into her salad; Rachel muffles a laugh)
Scene
15: Outside A Restaurant
(Monica
and
Monica:
Thanks so much for the CD’s. You didn’t
have to get both.
Marie:
Monica! (she’s sitting in an outdoor restaurant with a
black-haired man and a young infant)
Monica:
Hey! Who’s this?
Marie:
Which one? The big one’s Curtis, my
husband. The cute one’s my daughter.
Monica:
Can I hold her?
Marie:
Sure. Be careful.
Monica:
Oh, I always am. (stumbles) I’ll sit down. (sits down and Marie hands her the baby) Aw, what’s her name?
Marie: Dolphina.
Monica:
(laughs) No, really.
Marie:
I’m not kidding.
Monica:
(caught off guard) Oh, uh, uh...
Marie:
(laughs) I’m kidding. Her name’s Alicia
Lynn.
Monica:
Oh, that’s pretty. What made you want to
have a baby? I’m trying to get that one
over there ready for one.
Curtis:
Oh, something just told us it was time. (Marie mouths “me” to Monica and points
to herself; the baby starts to cry)
Marie:
Oh, honey. (Monica gives her back to Marie) What do you want? Is it your diaper? Are you sleepy? No, we just changed you, and you’ve had a
nap. Are you hungry? Here, you go. (pulls
out a blanket and wraps it around herself, and pulls the baby under it) There
you go, honey.
Monica:
So, Curtis, what’s your favorite part of being a father?
Curtis:
Well, Alicia always reminds me of Marie, so it’s like having two wives and two
daughters all the time.
Monica:
Ah, what about Alicia reminds you of Marie?
Curtis:
Her personality. She a
brave little girl. Always looking
around, always doing something. And the
way she looks at you, you just want to give her the world.
Marie:
(who has pulled Alicia back out) Was that nice,
honey? Are you full? Do want to take a nap?
Monica:
I can see how she’s like Marie.
Marie:
I know, I think she’s going to grow up to be just like me.
Monica:
I think she already has a part of you.
Marie:
Really? What part?
Monica:
(whispers) How high? (Marie gets a confused look,
looks down to the sleeping Alicia, and looks back, frightened) It’ll be all
right. Well, maybe we can get in touch
sometime.
Marie:
All right. Where’d
Monica:
(looks around) All the baby talk must have scared him away. Well, bye.
Marie:
Bye. (still looking at Alicia thoughtfully)
(COMMERCIAL
BREAK)
Scene
16: Front Desk
(Ross
walks by)
Ross:
Miss, where’s the exit?
Receptionist:
Right around the corner. Do you want
your son?
Ross:
No, he’s right here. (looks down) Ben!
Ben:
(from inside the booth) Daddy!
Ross:
Ben, what are you doing in there?
Ben: I
got bored.
Ross:
You were right there! How small of an
attention span can one kid have? C’mon, Ben, time to go.
Ben:
Okay, thanks, nice lady.
Ross:
Yes, thank you, ma’am.
(he meets up with Monica,
Rachel:
No way, he was so looking at me.
Phoebe:
You wish.
Monica:
C’mon, you two. He was looking at me. (
Rachel:
Well,
Monica:
And you noticed her?
Monica:
You want to retie your shoes?
Monica:
It’s gone! It’s gone! (practically weeping)
Ross:
Where’s Joey?
Joey:
(comes up holding shopping bags) Here I am.
Listen. I went to the gift shop,
and got some stuff.
Joey:
(avoiding eye contact) I might have. (up beat again) But, here. I got you
this. (gives him a stuffed lobster doll)
(ENDING
CREDITS)
Joey: I
know. And, uh...
(discretely puts something in
Ross:
Uh, thanks, man.
Monica:
Yeah.
Rachel:
Uh huh.
Joey:
And for Pheebs. (searches around in his bag) Where’d
it go? (starts pulling out assorted mini stuffed
animals)
Joey:
Oh, those are for me. Hmmm, I know I got
you something.
Phoebe:
(cynical) I’m sure you did. Maybe you
should go back into the store to get “another.”
Joey:
Here it is!
Phoebe:
(cheerful) Okay. (he gives her tie-dyed purple dolphin
stuffed animal; she is very impressed) Wow.
Thanks, Joey. (rubs it against her cheek,
squeezing it; her face becomes very surprised) Yes, Joey. I will! (hugs Joey)
Joey:
Huh? (she squeezes him tighter and the dolphin, which
in her hand is right by Joey’s ear, asks, “Will you marry me?” in a
high-pitched voice; Joey faints)
Phoebe:
Aw, that’s so cute.
Ross:
Okay, I’ll figure out what going on later.
For now, let’s go. C’mon,
Ben. Ben? Ben!?
(END)
A/N:
Whee! That was fun. I have been working on this one for a while,
and am finally ready to put it out.
Well,
anyway. Thanks for reading. Review if you please. On the way? I have The One With
the High School Days in the works. For
now, that’s all I can think of. I have a
lot in the works. See my Author Screen
or other stories for more upcoming fics.
^_^ - Bye-bye. Look, it’s Shamu! (o=^=< Okay, maybe not.
©2001. Created Monday, December 17, 2001.