Seen Double
by
Godeerc VanDrey
Category:
Buffy, the Vampire Slayer
Genre:
General, Humor
Rating:
PG
Language:
English
Summary: Season 4.
A/N: Okay, this is actually my second Buffy fic, but it was posted first, because my other story needed
developing. Okay, a little about
myself. I am usually a Friends writer,
but my passion for the show has faded to religious Thursday watcher, whereas my
Buffy fix has expanded to daily servings.
I am surprised by the potential of this fic
idea, since I am starting up again from a long break from writing. It won’t be near as good as my better Friends
fics, but I assure you it rivals a moderately good
one. I will be writing in script format,
which I’m used to. (Plus, block format
for me isn’t as good.) I will try to
expand the parenthetical (actually a word) notes to give you as much visual
clarity as possible.
Read on. And
beware of Sonriso, the punctusmiley.
(FLASHBACKS)
(Oz
leaving after the Veruca incident)
(Oz
returning and second leaving after the capture by the Initiative)
(the
various scenes of Adam)
Scene
1:
(
(Tara
looks up at
Tara:
(OPENING
CREDITS)
(COMMERCIAL
BREAK)
Scene
2:
(Tara
and
Tara:
(time
lapse)
(
(the
phone rings)
Scene
3: Giles’ House
(The
Scooby Gang assembled)
Buffy:
Okay, Adam’s reeking major havoc on the town.
We just got a report from Oakshire Nursing
Homes about some freak attacking some residents.
Xander: He’s going after old people. Funny, if I were a super humanoid cyborg-demon, why would I go after the sickly?
Buffy:
I don’t know. He’s screwed up in the
head.
Xander: And not just metaphorically.
Giles: Xander, do you always feel the need to add
jokes?
Xander: It’s my nature.
Anya: I kind of like it. Except when
we’re…
Xander: (covering her mouth) That’s enough.
Giles:
The task on hand, please.
Buffy:
Going after super-dude Adam with advanced fighting skills and superhuman
strength. So, I’m guessing I’m not going
to be doing this with cat-slapping and play-bites.
Giles:
What?
(Buffy
and
Giles:
All right. (shakes his head in confusion)
Buffy:
Buffy:
Well, can you?
Xander: Yes, I see were all sure of ourselves here. (he gets looks) It’s a
disease, I tell you.
Buffy:
You sure you’re up to it?
(she
is cut off by a blasting of light)
(COMMERCIAL
BREAK)
Scene
4: Giles’s House
(the
smoke clears)
Buffy:
Is everyone okay? (her voice however sounds like multiple voices in unison)
Yikes.
(she
jumps up, and there’s two of her)
The
2 Buffy’s: A demon clone! (pointing to one other)
Giles:
(similar voice) What happened? (two Gileses get up)
My gosh.
(there
are three Willows, three Xanders, two Gileses, and two Buffy’s, but only one
Xanders: (looking at double Buffy) Cool! (they each poke the Buffy on the
left)
Buffy
on left: Hey!
Other
Buffy: Xander…s.
Watch it. Hey, we’re not talking
the same anymore.
Gileses: Changed destinies. You will
talk the same until something changes the destiny of one of them. Fascinating.
Left
Buffy: Also, annoying. (looks around)
Right
Buffy: Already got it covered. (tosses a glass globe to the Giles on the left)
Left
Giles: Buffy!
Right
Giles: That was a priceless artifact.
(the
Buffy’s cock her head)
Left
Giles: Okay.
Right
Giles: Maybe not.
Xanders: And that wasn’t more annoying?
(Buffy
kicks toward the Xander on the left, then to the
right)
Left
Xander: Hey!
Right
Xander: Watch it!
Left
Xander: Ah man, we’re not talking the same anymore.
Center
Xander: Hey… I’ve got an idea.
Right
Xander: On three?
Center
Xander: Yeah, how’d you know?
Right
Xander: I’m you.
Left
Xander: Awesome.
(A/N:
Sorry if that sounded too much like Bill
and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.)
Left
Buffy: If we get this figured out,
Right
Buffy: I hope it never happens again.
Tara:
Willows:
What?
Tara:
Just a sec. (brushes the hair behind the
Left
Right
Center
Left
Right
Center
Left
Buffy: So, why did affect all of us?
Center
Right
(A/N:
Sorry if this is confusing; it’ll simplify in a minute.)
Center
(a
knock on the door; both Gileses go to get it; Left
Buffy elects one of them; Left Giles opens the door)
Riley:
(enters) I was passing by and I saw the flash, Mr. Giles. Oh, sorry, are you having a (slows down)
party? (sees the multiple versions of the Scooby gang) What…?
Riley:
Oh. (walks in; and walks up to Right Buffy) Hey. (grabs hold to kiss her, but
she resists) Buffy?
Right
Buffy: Sorry, it just feels weird.
Left Buffy: Really? Let me try. (grabs
Riley from Left Buffy, and kisses him, though he is too confused to kiss back)
You’re crazy.
Right
Left
Riley:
What?
Center
Left
Riley:
This is a lot to digest. Who’s the other
Buffy for? (pause) Oh. Angel.
Right
Buffy: (Angel’s Buffy) Sorry.
Riley:
It’s okay.
Left
Giles: Just a moment. The “Amorus Disiperus” spell? Tell me you safeguarded against the web
effect.
Oz’s
Tara’s
Xander’s
Left
Giles: It will spread to anyone that is involved with the spread.
Anya’s Xander: So, this could go on forever?
Right
Giles: (takes the book from Left Giles and reads) Well, it is very finite, but
in theory, yes.
(A/N:
Are you imagining this?)
T
(Tara’s)
X
X
O
Tara:
Y… you don’t see a lot of
T
X
C Xander: Cordelia.
Anya: Xander, how many girlfriends have you had?
A Xander: Sorry. I
don’t like
Anya: Well, I don’t like either of you.
C Xander: Feeling’s reciprocal. And not on purpose.
A
Buffy: Cordelia!
She liked Wesley, too! (C Xander scowls)
Angel’s gang is having to deal with two Cordy’s, what
are they going to do?
C Xander: Go crazy?
C Xander: Yeah, so?
A Xander: You were making fun of her.
C Xander: So…?
W
& A Xander: Oh.
(A
Buffy steps up)
A
Buffy: Sorry, I’m bored.
Riley:
Giles, what about you?
Left
Giles: Well, I still have feelings for Olivia, so I don’t know…
Right
Giles: Jenny Calendar.
(a
mourning silent pause)
J
Giles: Well, she didn’t have any others.
O
Giles: Neither does Olivia.
A
Buffy: So that wraps up the “web.”
(the
door is opened, and Angel and others run in)
(COMMERCIAL
BREAK)
Scene
5: Giles’s Place
(Angel,
Wesley, Gunn, Fred, and two Cordelias run in)
(A/N:
I’m a little unsure of the early seasons of Angel, so I don’t think Angel and Cordy have hooked up yet, nor Fred and Gunn, so we’ll leave
them be)
A
Buffy: Angel! (she runs up to him) What happened?
Angel:
(panting) Two Angeluses… attacked us. (giggles) Even
worse, we have two Cordelias.
X Cordelia: We both got window seats, you doof.
O
T
Angel:
So… that explains the reason that Buffy is hanging onto my arm when she is
involved with Riley. (looks at A Buffy on his arm, who is uncomfortably
smiling) Riley.
Riley:
Angel.
A
Buffy: No more fights.
R
Buffy: Yeah, he’s a vampire. Be careful.
A
Buffy: She doesn’t love you anymore.
Ignore her.
A Buffy:
So, no other Angels?
Angel:
No, just Angeluses.
I haven’t had time for stuff like that.
X Cordelia: Oh, so you were just playing that girl.
(A
Buffy looks at Angel)
Angel:
She was nice, but things never became like that between us. Not important right now, we’ve got two Angeluses reeking havoc all over LA.
A
Buffy: Two?
Angel: That’s what gets me. I never loved anyone as Angelus. Darla was my lover, but it was never that way. I can’t think of any others, unless it’s Drusilla, who I was obsessed with, not in a psychotic-romantic way, but vampire emotions are tricky.
T
Angel:
Yeah.
(radio-like
sound is heard; Riley grabs his radio)
Riley:
It’s the government frequency. Adam’s
come out for play again… we’ve also got a vampire squad looking for an
all-you-can eat buffet at the
X Cordelia: With froth and cinnamon? To die for!
Cordelias: Totally!
(the
Buffy’s walk toward the Cordelias, but each Giles
grabs one)
J
Giles: Their destinies do not need to be changed.
R Buffy:
So I… we can punch her… them anyway. (has a confused look because of the
changed pronouns)
A
Buffy: I know. They totally need new
pronouns for these kinds of situations.
Riley:
(still listening) The teams have retreated.
Looks like we’ll have to go in two squads. We’ve got enough people.
A
Buffy: Other Buffy, Riley, Anya, and Anya’s Xander, go after
Adam. Angel, Cordelia’s
Xander, and Xander’s Cordelia, come with me, we’ll fight the vampire party. Gileses —that hard to say—, Xander’s
(
R
Buffy: Go with Tara and
Riley:
(listening to the radio) We’d better go.
There’re reports of more attacks.
(COMMERCIAL
BREAK)
Scene
6: Graveyard
(R
Buffy, Riley, Anya, and A Xander
enter to Adam and his minions during a plan)
R
Buffy: Well, what do you know? Planning
some evil take-over-the-world-killing-spree plan, or have you opted for
something new.
Adam:
Get her. (his vampire and demon minions attack, only to be resisted by Buffy
and Riley’s counterattacks, and Xander and Anya’s futile attempts, and finally, intense combative
fleeing)
Scene
7: Library
(T
Willow, Tara,
Cordelia: Okay, I’ve been waiting forever to ask you this. There’s a Tara’s
Cordelia: Are you like…?
Cordelia: How’d I get stuck with the boring study group?
Wesley:
Cordelia, would you rather have gone out and fought
demons and Adam with the rest. Speaking
of which, who is this Adam?
(A/N:
I don’t know what he’s like in Angel, so I’m portraying him as he was in BtVS)
Cordelia: Well, we are going to check the books way over there. (points to the
other side of the library) (with intent between the lines) We won’t be needing
assistance. (Wesley follows her to the other side of the library)
Scene
8: Center Street Coffee House
(A
Buffy, Angel, X Cordelia, and C Xander,
kneeling in front of the coffee-house look in)
Cordelia: (whispers) So, Xander, after you screwed me
over for
Xander: Okay, she came onto me, and somehow it just happened. And she’s not technically a demon
anymore. When Giles broke her necklace
in the other world, she lost of her sweet powers.
Cordelia: Buffy, Angel, you two have been really quiet. Oh, is this because of the whole insane
break-up thing?
Buffy:
Cordelia, I’m starting to realize why when I had
mind-reading powers, everything that you said, you had just thought, and vice
versa.
Cordelia: (thinking) Well, sorry for speaking my mind. (aloud) Well, sorry for
speaking my mind.
Buffy:
Shush! (she looks in; vampires are running around attacking people) Angel, Cordy, Xander, ready? Go.
(she
and Angel run jump through the windows and immediately begin attacking)
(Xander and Cordelia stealthily
enter through the door, and begin reluctantly stabbing at vampires)
(Xander notices that his stabbing is as girly as Cordelia’s, so he extends his arm back to get a good stab,
gets a vampire behind, misses the one he stabs at, but turns around just in
time to see the vampire he unknowingly stabbed turn to dust)
(they
give up and run out)
Cordelia: Do you think you and demon girl were this pathetic over at the
graveyard?
Xander: I don’t know.
Scene
9: The Graveyard
(A Xander and Anya in same reclusive
position as C Xander and X Cordelia
were in)
(COMMERCIAL
BREAK)
Scene
10: Giles’s House
(the
Gileses pass each other while pacing and reading
books)
Gileses: Hmmm. (they look up to each other and exchange books)
(
X
Xander: Oh, no you’re not going to get all religious on me, are you? “We all exist to further the action of the
Great One, and His teachings, and His love.”
O
Xander: Oh.
X
Xander: Mates?
X
Xander: Will you please stop with the mates thing?
X
Xander: You know you just lost me, right?
X
O
(they
do; Xander recoils back,
X
O
X
O
X
Xander: Is the scary picture gone? I
had creepy visual worlds. I’ll be having
nightmares because of this, you know.
(the
Gileses sitting down, drinking tea and reading,
conversing)
J
Giles: And the Watcher’s Council?
O
Giles: Firing us because we “had a father’s love for the child.” That should be a good thing.
J
Giles: A true indifferent Watcher would not be able to emotionally support a
Slayer.
O
Giles: They start out young. You’d have
to.
J
Giles: Especially ours. Buffy didn’t
start until she was fifteen. She needed
major catching up to do.
O
Giles: Don’t look at me. Look at
J
Giles: No better than you did.
(they
laugh)
Xander: Hey, Giles, having fun talking to yourself?
Gileses: Quite. (the look at each other and snicker)
Scene
11: Central Street Coffee House
(Angel
and Buffy have slain all the vampires)
(Buffy
looks around)
Buffy:
Angel, how many did you slay?
Angel:
Four, I’m pretty sure. Why?
Buffy:
‘Cause I slew five. So, between them, Xander and Cordy slew one?
Angel:
They’re not Slayers.
Buffy:
No, no. I’m impressed. How much you want to bet it was an unintended
slaying?
Angel:
Hundred bucks?
Buffy:
What?
Angel:
Sorry, I do have got a job now.
Buffy:
Shouldn’t have let you go.
Xander: Are they gone yet?
Buffy:
What do you say we give the other me and Riley a hand with Adam?
Angel:
(little enthusiasm) Sure.
Buffy:
And try not to hurt Riley. I don’t care
as much, but I think the other me might.
Angel:
I know. (secretly scowls)
(COMMERCIAL
BREAK)
Scene
12: The Library
(Cordelia and Wesley are making out against the bookshelf)
(Tara
and
Willow:
(smiles) Can you blame me?
Scene
13: The Graveyard
(Buffy
and Riley on their last leg fighting Adam)
Buffy:
Ugh, why do all the evil ones have to be so strong?
Riley:
(bruised up) It’s in their contracts, I think.
(Adam
charges, pinning Buffy; Riley is helpless to save her)
A
Buffy: Hey, Buffy, need a hand.
Adam:
(looks up, confused) What?
(A
Buffy gives him a square kick in the face, freeing R Buffy)
R Buffy:
Thanks, I’ve been wondering when you’d get here.
Riley:
Angel.
Angel:
Riley.
Adam:
Two Slayers. How interesting.
R
Buffy: Not as interesting as this.
(the
Buffy’s charge, and each kicks toward Adam’s head, in mirror image)
(Adam
grabs each one’s foot and throws them in the air, and they each land gracefully
in mirror image)
Riley:
So, this is the girl you ditched?
Angel:
I wanted her to have a more normal life with a more normal boyfriend. (he looks
Riley over) I guess my plan failed.
Riley:
I’m more normal than you.
Angel:
Moot issue.
Buffy’s:
A little help here.
Angel:
I’ve got the legs.
Riley:
Why do you get the legs?
Angel:
Because after this is over, you get Buffy.
Riley:
(smiles and nods) Oh yeah.
Angel:
After we’re done, let’s not repeat the history of any of our previous
encounters.
Buffy’s:
Guys.
Angel:
Go for the neck. (he races forward)
Riley:
(mimicking) “Go for the neck.” Maybe I will. (and he does)
(in
a fury of kicks, punches, jumps, and flips, the four slowly overpower Adam to a
struggling pin)
Buffy’s:
Oops, look what we did.
Adam:
Red Team!
Riley:
Dude, what are you talking about…? (he is kicked over by a vampire)
(the
rest are kicked over by vampires, which they counterattack and stake in
moments)
(they
turn around and Adam is standing tall)
Spike:
(comes from around a tomb) Yeah, you said to be here around
Scene
13: Outside the Library
(Spike
walking along, holding a book)
Spike:
Not going after two Slayers. I’m a one
Slayer at a time kind of vampire.
(he
turns the corner to look through an overhead window; he opens it and looks
inside)
Spike:
(jumps back) Whoa. Crazy witches, and in
a public place, too. (looks back in, evaluating) Wow, I feel bad for the bloke
that lost her. (he leans in, and the book drops through the window)
Scene
14: The Library
(
(a
loud crashing)
Cordelia: (from across the library) Sorry, everything’s okay. A bookcase just fell over.
Cordelia: (comes out from behind the bookcase) You find anything? We didn’t see anything.
Cordelia: Yes?
Cordelia: Silly me. (diverts her eyes)
Scene
14: The Graveyard
(the
Buffy’s, Riley, and Angel each have a hold on Adam)
(Adam
launches them all off)
Adam:
Two Slayers, a chemically-enhanced soldier, and a vampire could not defeat
me. I pity the day that we must fight
alone, Slayer.
A
Buffy: Afraid I don’t.
R
Buffy: I do. I pity you.
(Adam
jumps over a gate, and runs)
(the
Buffy’s high five)
Riley:
Xander, Cordelia, Anya… and Xander, you guys can
come out now.
Anya: Is he gone?
Angel:
Gone, but not defeated.
A Xander: Well, that just makes me feel all cheery.
C Xander: Light-hearted.
A Xander: Safe.
Cordelia: Safe? I’m glad it’s the other
one that likes me.
(C Xander beams at A Xander)
R
Buffy: Come on, guys, let’s get back to Giles’s house, they may have found the
reversal spell.
(COMMERCIAL
BREAK)
Scene
15: Giles’s House
(the
Gileses, W Xander, the
Willows, W Cordelia, Wesley, and
J
Giles: And the Council so hopped up on the “civilians.”
O
Giles: Buffy would not be alive today if it weren’t for her “civilians.” Slayer or not, it always helps to have
friends.
J Giles:
I completely agree. I myself have rather
enjoyed accompanying Buffy on her patrols.
O
Giles: Makes you wonder why Slayers aren’t chosen until another dies.
J
Giles: (excited) I was about to say that!
If Slayers would just be chosen every few days, or moons, or years, or
something, the vampire population would suffer greatly…
O
Giles: …and so many Slayers wouldn’t have to die.
(the
Buffy’s and the other walk in)
Gileses: Does nobody knock?
R
Buffy: You’re welcome.
A
Buffy:
T
R
Buffy: What?
T
(time
lapse)
(the
room is prepared for the reversal spell)
T
A
Buffy: Actually, just a second. Angel,
can I talk to you for a second… privately?
Angel:
Sure.
Scene
16: Back Room
(A
Buffy and Angel enter)
Buffy:
Listen, Angel, I really appreciate you coming.
It must have been hard to see me again.
Angel:
(solemnly, A/N: As if there were any other way.) Can’t say I don’t disagree.
Buffy:
I know, this version of me proves that I am still in love with you, so I’m not
going to hide it. Angel, I’m always
going to be in love with you.
Angel:
I will too, Buffy. Even Spike knew that
we’d never be friends again. We’ll have
to deal.
Buffy:
And I have. I’ve moved on.
Angel:
And I will, eventually. Buffy, I didn’t
want to leave you.
Buffy:
(avoiding crying) No, don’t go into it.
I know what you’re going to say.
And I have started to realize maybe you were right.
Angel:
Sorry.
Buffy:
So, no new girlfriend?
Angel:
Nope.
Buffy:
The other version of me is going to regret this, and since I don’t really have
feelings for Riley… (puts her hands on Angel’s face and kisses him)
(after
a few moments)
Buffy:
I’ve been wanting to do that all day.
Angel:
So have I.
Buffy:
Well, thanks for respecting Riley. (pause) And don’t tell him, okay?
Angel:
Deal.
Buffy:
Oh, and after this reversal spell, if things don’t work out with Riley later
on, and you know, some circumstances strangely change, any chance we could get
back together?
Angel:
I guess we could. We’ll see, but I tell
you I wouldn’t be at all disappointed if we did.
Buffy:
(grouchy face) Do we actually have to do this whole reversal thing? I mean, I could just come back with you and
slay vampires there. I mean, we’ve done
the multiple Slayer thing and it works out until one of them dies or goes evil…
Scene
17: Living Room
(the
The
Willows: Oh, goddess Aphrodite, remove thy spell from this place. Return this place to its true form.
The
Willows: Amorus Reunertum!
(a
large flash)
(the
room is now occupied with only one of each person)
Cordelia: That was a strange feeling.
Kind of like taking a shower with hot air.
Buffy:
I know.
Angel:
I didn’t feel anything.
Tara:
Scene
18: A Bar
(the
twin Angeluses about to feed on a couple of
bartenders)
Right
Angelus: Dinner time!
Left
Angelus: Or a
(the
lunch forward to bite when they disappear, and the bartenders fall to the
ground, confused)
Male
Bartender: Okay, no more tasting the Purple Monsoon.
Scene
19: Giles’s Place
(the
Angel gang has left)
Buffy:
So, you think we got everybody?
Giles:
Wait, what about the web effect with the two Angeluses? What if they’re more?
(everybody
is speechless, pondering)
Scene
20: A Tavern Somewhere in
(two
Drusillas are poised for sparring)
A
Drusilla: I tell you, Angelus is so much better than your damn Spike.
A
Drusilla: William the Lovey-Dovey, more like it. So, what if he’s killed two Slayers? I killed that
A
Drusilla: Your little Spikey-poo will be falling for
some new chick before you know it.
A
Drusilla: Only because he had Darla. We
was jealous. Angelus is the reason the
way we are.
(a blue-greenish,
toad-like demon looks at them)
Toad
Demon: Okay, I thought the twin thing would be cool at first, but now, I think
I’ll leave.
(the
Drusillas continue to battle it out, pulling hair,
slapping each other)
(END
CREDITS)
A/N:
Okay, this is the point where I add an author’s note. (longish pause)
This
is my first Buffy fic. Sorry if the format’s not usual, but as I
probably said in the introduction, I’m used to writing Friends stories in
script format. Also, I find when I do
script format, I don’t have to worry about the
language of block format documents, which I can get really awkward and poor-writey with.
Anyway,
thanks for reading. I don’t live on
reviews, but I think they’re cool to read, so whatever you want. This is Sonriso; he
always gets the last word. Sometimes,
he’ll even dress up for you. He may even
bring his adopted punctusmileys: Estrella,
Ozzie (not after Oz), and Xander (after Xander); to talk to you.
^_^ - Estrellita, the Ozmeister, and the Xan-man couldn’t make it tonight, but they told me to say “Hi” to Owl and Tab. Anyway, I affirm you for reading this entire story. Be glad it’s one of Godeerc’s better ones.
Sonriso.
^_^ - Okay, I know, just
stupid sarcastic remarks. But can I
bring up “The Bet”?
Creedogmon: Never published, you
should be glad.
^_^ - Okay, enough
talk. “
©2002. Created