ICY ANTICS

 

Rating: PG
Genre: Comedy
Setting: A park
Main Characters: Me, and my Muses

 

Part 1

 

Location: a park, mid winter, with a lake.

 

Eiko: Ok, so you got that! I’m  going to the store! You four, just sit here quietly and calmly and wait for me!

Skye: But its really, really cold! Can I go with you?!

Eiko: Sorry Skye hun, but there’s a huge sign on the door saying “No Pets”

Skye: *Indignantly* I’m NOT a pet! I’m a muse!

Eiko: Yes, but the storekeeper won’t get that, and we’ll all get in trouble. So just stay here like a good little muse, ok.

Skye: Ok, I suppose.

Eiko: ^_^, good boy. *Gives him a scarf and gloves* There, that’ll keep you warm! *Walks across the road to the store*

Skye: *Puts a glove on his head, and wraps himself up with the scarf, which is too big for him*

Kharg: you look so stupid Skye

Skye: grrrrrrrrrrowwwwwwl

Darc: I’m really cold right about now!

Benji: ummm…you don’t suppose when she said “stay here” she actually meant the park, not just this spot.

Kharg: Good point. I think she meant stay here in the park. That means we can run around!

Skye: *uneasily* I dunno guys. What if she comes back and we’re not here? She might just leave us here. And…get…. NEW muses!!

 

*Kharg and Benji exchange glances*

 

Benji: oh stop being such a baby Skye! We know where she lives, we can just wander back home if she isn’t back by tonight!

Skye: But….

Kharg: Mreh, don’t listen to him! Come on! I’ll race you to the lake!

 

*Kharg and Benji run towards the lake, which is completely frozen over due to the extreme cold*

 

Darc: *looks at Skye* Don’t worry! We’ll be fine. *chases after the other two*

Skye: *all alone curled up in the way to big scarf* er….guys *whimper* Eiko? *pitiful mewing* I’m all alone *sniffle*

 

Meanwhile, at the frozen lake.

 

Benji: You wouldn’t dare

Kharg: How much are you willing to bet?

Darc: believe me, he’ll do it. I should know, I’m is brother.

Benji: oh really. Well, how about making this a bit more interesting.

Kharg: I’m listening

Benji: *thinks a moment* Darc, are you willing to ice skate as well?

Darc: what sort of wuss do you take me for! I can beat Kharg at ice skating blindfolded

Kharg: OBJECTION

Benji: Does this look like *shudder* a court of law? How about this then! I propose a fight between you both, on the ice. First one to slip over is the loser.

Kharg: sounds good to me!

Darc: *nods*

 

A few minutes later, after both Muses have gained their balance on the frozen lake: a big crowd has gathered round, and thinks nothing of a talking Tiger commentating on the match.

 

Benji: And here it is, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the final showdown between two lifelong enemies! In the pretty much desolate corner with just a few dead shrubs, KHARG and in the other desolate corner, containing no shrubs but a snow covered tree DARC!!

 

*cheering and applause*

*Kharg and Darc pose enthusiastically*

 

Benji: the rules are: first one to fall loses! Let the match begin!!!

*more cheering and applause*

 

*Kharg and Darc skate towards each other, both intent on knocking the other off their feet. They collide pretty heavily, both spin out of control. Darc flies across the ice to land in a snow bank. Kharg skids over and slides on his bottom across the ice.*

Benji: And we have a TIE! Well, that was a short lived battle, but I forgot to mention that watching it costs £1 per person. I will know steal your money through telepathy. Its nice doing business with you. *uses psychic powers to steal money off the crowds. They get angry and chase him across the park*

 

*meanwhile, Skye, feeling all sad and alone has trailed dejectedly after the other muses. He gets squashed by crowds going the other way, and sees Benji jump up into a tree smirking evilly at the crowds who cannot reach him because he is too high up. Kharg and Darc have recovered sufficiently to start battling again. After a few desperate attempts to stay on their feet whilst fighting properly, they decide that that is a stupid course of action, and are now just skating backwards and forwards randomly punching each other and making each other spin out of control and fall into snow banks.*

 

Skye: ……. This can’t be good.

*an obnoxious kid starts pelting Skye with snowballs.*

Skye: *squeaks*

 

Meanwhile, at the store

 

Eiko: so, that’s 4 bars of galaxy chocolate, and a bottle of vimto.

Storekeeper: £1.90 please

Eiko: *hands over a £2 coin*

Shopkeeper: that’s 10p change. Would you like a bag?

Eiko: yes please *cute smile*

*Eiko takes up her shopping and leaves the store. She crosses the road, and, surprise, surprise, her muses have vanished.*

Eiko: dammit!!!

*wanders the park and finds her muses around the lake. Se sees Kharg and Darc fighting, Skye getting turned into a snowman and Benji laughing and clawing and anyone who tries to get near him.*

 

Eiko: *groans*

 

Skye: *whimper, sob growl*

Obnoxious Kid: haha! Kitty got turned to ice! *suddenly gets hit by a very large snowball, which shatters spilling icy cold snow down the back of its neck*

Obnoxious Kid: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! MUMMY!!!!! *runs away*

 

*Eiko saunters over to Skye and picks him up, brushing the snow away from him*

Eiko: Eiko to the rescue *victory dance* KHARG! DARC! GET YOUR LAZY MUSLI BUMS OFF OF THAT ICE THIS MINUTE!!

*Kharg and Darc walk sheepishly off the ice to Eiko*

Eiko: good. Now its just Benji! *Turns to see the mob has got hold of Benji who is screaming loudly, and seem to be building a small tiger sized bonfire with a stake on it* dammit!!! Looks like their planning to barbecue him!!! *thinks quickly of the best way to save her muse, as she strangely likes him for some reason* I know! *snaps fingers* FREE CHIPS!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN FREE CHIPS OVER THE ROAD?

*the crowd, overhearing this, run away, leaving Benji half tied to a stake, in their fruitless search for free chips*

*Eiko runs up to him, scoops him up in her arms, and runs for home before the mobs realise that there are no free chips*

 

Much Later

 

*Kharg and Darc are wrapped up in blankets, shivering because they had got completely soaked in their fighting, Skye is curled up on a hot water bottle with a cup of hot chocolate, and Benji is sitting by the fire purring*

 

Eiko: I hope you have all learned an important lesson today!

Benji: sure did! I learnt not to actually tell people that you are going to steal their money, because they take it very badly. Yep! Honesty is definitely not the best policy!

Eiko: NO! that’s NOT what I meant! Oh never mind! Muses, cant live with them! But need them to write stories! it’s a tough life! *storms up to bed*

 

Benji: so, when she said “you aren’t allowed to eat that chocolate I brought each of you because you disobeyed me” do you think she meant only eat? I mean, we could always melt it down and drink it…

Kharg: I like that plan

Skye: *groan* here we go again!

 

THE END