THE PLATINUM MARMOSET

The professor was pacing round his study. He was muttering to himself in anger. It was enough to scare even the toughest explorer. Of course, the explorers he was waiting for were not even on the verge of tough, with the exception perhaps of Rocky Dinahmite. Yes, the Explorers were a renowned bunch of, well, explorers, in the Village. They spent their time as pawns in the professors crazy quests, bizarre explorations and strange experiments. Well, actually I lie. They may have been on the far side of dense, but they weren’t stupid enough to partake in the Professors experiments. So really, they were just pawns in his crazy quests and bizarre explorations. They first gained their renown in the famous (in the village at least) quest for the golden kiwi. While the kiwi was still alive they found it and, well, killed it. But then, no one seemed to care so they got away with it. But I digress. You may be curious as to who the Explorers are. Unless of course you live in the village or had the sense to read their profiles or their first story. Well, for those without this sense, or with memories with the same holding capacity as a sieve trying to hold water, I will remind you. Firstly is the veteran, Colonel Custard. He has lost his memory, and it is impossible to hold a coherent conversation with him at most points. We assume that he was in the army because of his uniform, and we know his name because, well, it had been written inside his shirt. Next, the explorer with no gifts for exploration, Cleopatra Bones. Her weapon of choice is a whip, and her favourite strategy is the “run away and double back” strategy. Unfortunately for her, this tactic is known by absolutely everyone, even those in the remotest part of the jungle, where they haven’t even discovered the microwave yet. Its even known by the animals. The next explorer in line would be the infamous Rocky Dinahmite. He enjoys blowing things up. His dynamite supply is endless, by some miracle. Although his attitude seems tough and macho, he in fact collects pictures of cute little bunny rabbits and pets puppies, although he doesn’t let on. Next, Dolla Bucks, perhaps the most hopeless explorer there is, is a complete coward. He is also a multi millionaire. Naturally this means if he gets to keep being an explorer they get cool things like computer games and TV, and free t-shirts. Next, the teenage explorer Sally Strongarm. She had an obsession with the Quinto the Questor books and spent her time trying to be more like Quinto. Last, but not least is the youngest Explorer Tina Tinkle. She is 6 years old and before becoming an Explorer spent her time getting chased by the dog.

Now you know the Explorers. So back to the story.

The professor is getting angrier by the minute, still pacing around his study. He is waiting for the Explorers to show up so he can tell them about a new quest. They are at least half an hour late. Eventually, incredibly angry, the Professor runs out of his house to go to the Explorers HQ to see what has happened. We have a while until he gets there, since the HQ is on the opposite side of town. Its not very practical, but the Explorers didn’t want to have their HQ incredibly close to the Professors house in case he crept in during the night and experimented on them. Plus there was the fact that he snored. Very loudly.

So picture the HQ for a moment. It is surrounded by trees, since Sally insisted that all HQ are surrounded by trees. Inside there is the main room, and branching off from that is various bedrooms and a bathroom. The kitchen is part of the main room. And sitting on the chairs in the main room are three of the Explorers. Sally, Cleopatra and Dolla. Colonel Custard is in the background shouting at a lamp for plotting mutiny, and Tina is curled up in the corner, hugging the dog. Rocky is pacing the floor, even more angrily than the professor was.

“Where is he? He was supposed to be here half an hour ago!”

“he’s forgotten probably”

“that b$%*$&£! I’ll kill him!”

“watch your language! Tina is in the room!”

“what’s b$%*$&£ mean Sally?”

“none of your business!”

For you see, while the professor had thought that the Explorers were meeting him at his house, he had in fact arranged to meet him at the HQ. There is suddenly loud and angry knocking at the door.

“open up you slackers!” Cleopatra crossed the floor and opened the door

“your late” sally commented. The professor glared at her.

What followed was a huge argument between the Explorers and the Professor, in which Rocky smashed a teapot. Finally the whole thing was resolved however. The professor, pretending nothing had happened, told the Explorers of their next quest.

“Through long and gruelling research I have discovered the existence of directions to a priceless treasure. The Platinum Marmoset. This is a priceless statue that was worshipped by ancient civilization.”

“what? Like my parents?” Sally asked. The professor glared at her. He had a habit of not answering questions he didn’t like. He continued with the quest brief.

“the marmoset is located in the heart of the deep jungle.” Sally interrupted again

“is that the same deep jungle where the golden kiwi was?” the professor glared at her again

“I only need two of you to take this quest. Sally and Cleopatra. You will be teleported to the heart of the deep jungle, then you will be on your own. Bring back the marmoset!”

So, with their Explorer packs, Cleopatra and Sally were teleported to the heart of the deep jungle.

“let me see the directions the Prof left us.” Sally handed her the directions which read as follows:

When you have reached the jungle, follow these steps to the marmoset:

1) take the only path

2) follow the path to a village

3) ask a villager where the marmoset is

The girls looked at each other. Then they set off down the path.

An hour later, with no sign of any village Sally started to complain

“this is so boring! Why hasn’t anyone attacked us? Normally we would have been attacked within 5 minutes, but we’ve been walking for years and nothing! Why is this jungle deserted?”

Right on cue a bloodcurdling cry was heard from the side. Turning quickly the girls saw a horde of giant rabbits running at them, brandishing butcher knives. They exchanged glances, before breaking into a run. The rabbits were hot on their trail. Sally shouted at Cleopatra.

“this happened in Quinto the Questor once!”

“he got chased by giant bunny rabbits?”

“no! don’t be silly! It was giant centipedes!”

“so how did he escape?”

“oh, he didn’t. he was caught and mauled to death. At least he would of if he hadn’t woken up at that point…” Cleopatra rolled her eyes. An extraordinary accomplishment when running away killer bunnies through a dense jungle. At least it would have been if she didn’t actually trip. Unfortunately she did trip. Sally didn’t notice, but kept running. The bunny rabbits didn’t notice either, as rabbits are not incredibly intelligent, and even less so when they a giant. They jumped straight over Cleopatra’s head and continued to chase Sally.

Cleopatra sat up after a bit, and looked around. She could see the village just through the trees. She glanced along the path, then decided that there was probably no way Sally could survive a Bunny rabbit attack, and walked to the village.

Upon entering the village, Cleopatra became aware of everyone staring at her and pointing, and in some cases licking their lips. The next thing she knew, a cage crashed down over her head.

“dammit” she shouted. For the professor had sent her straight to a killer cannibal village. Four of these tiny little human eaters picked up the cage, and, staggering under the weight, dragged it to a nearby hut.

An hour later Cleopatra was staring through the window, at the killer cannibals heating up a cooking pot ready for her. It looked hopeless for Cleopatra. She averted her gaze and stared at the wall. The pictures on the wall depicted a small monkey, standing on an altar in a pyramid. The Platinum Marmoset! Unfortunately Cleopatra didn’t think she would ever get to it now. that’s when she heard the screaming outside. Glancing out of the window, she saw the giant bunny rabbits that had attacked earlier destroying the village. By some incredibly amazing miracle the guard holding the keys to her prison was squished right outside the window, and the key that he was holding flew right through the window. Cleopatra reached out to catch it. And missed. The keys fell down a drain just outside the cell.

The night turned into day. The village was wrecked. Giant bunnies slept around outside. Cleopatra stared gloomily at the wall. Angry, she collapsed against the wall. Which collapsed under her. She hadn’t realised that the huts were made of straw. With a little jump of joy she ran off into the jungle. Her gaze was held by a pyramid in the distance.

She eventually reached the pyramid, and, out of breath leaned against it. A voice rang out above her

“you took your time! I was just about to leave.” looking up, Cleopatra saw Sally standing just above her, holding the Platinum Marmoset.

“how did you…” Cleopatra asked, bewildered.

“meh, rabbits, they get bored with chasing people after a while. I figured that the Platinum marmoset would be in the pyramid. It was easy. I was just waiting for you to arrive.”

“you mean you didn’t think of trying to find me?”

“I did, but then I just couldn’t be bothered.”

Cleopatra stared at Sally.

“fine! Lets just get home before anything else happens.”

So both girls headed back home.

THE END