Oh my goodness. The world has gone mad. P.J. knows what manga is, I just read Volume 21 of Ranma 1/2 where Ranma is hitting on Ryoga, and J.E.F. (Jay) is giving us his philosophies on life.
*::faints::*
Well, as you can guess, this was just too much. Way too much. And way too priceless.
So, we decided that this deserved its own section on our site.
Be warned: This may cause excessive coughing.
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J.E.F.'s first philosophy: The Colors of Emotions
*::he's talking to us; we're just standing there::*
"See, right now, you're all black and white," he tells us, "Because you're not laughing or smiling or nothing. You've got no feelings. You're just black and white."
*::Trangie, The Candy Holic, and me, ~*!fireblaze~*!, are just staring::*
"But if I make you laugh, then you're not black and white anymore."
*::Trangie, The Candy Holic, and ~*!fireblaze~*! raise our eyebrows::*
"Cuz when I make you laugh, then you're COLORFUL! Color! Color! Color!" *::he waves his hands around and has this weird grin on his face::*
Now, this is just too much for us. We three girls just burst out laughing.
"See!! You're colorful now!"
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Philosophy number two: Interrupting Cute and Romantic Moments
"OK. If you liked someone, and your best friend liked the same person, and the person you both like likes your best friend, what would you do? Would you get all pissed off at your friend and stop being their friend?" J.E.F. asks us.
"No," ~*!fireblaze~*! replies, "I wouldn't stop being their friend just because of that."
"But what if your friend starts spending a whole lot of time with your best friend and forgets all about you?"
"Then we'd get all jealous and interrupt their moments!" Trangie (I think) answers.
"Yeah!" J.E.F. says. "And I'm gonna to tell you HOW to do that."
*::everyone blinks::*
"When they're about to go close.. like, about to hold hands.. then you have to walk right in between them, with a bag of popcorn. Then you ask them, 'Hi, guys, want some popcorn?' with this big smile on your face!"
*::everyone starts to laugh::*
"And when they're in the movie theater, and they're sitting VERY close to each other, then you move in the seat in between them and smile and say, 'Wow, this is the BEST seat in the house! You don't mind if I sit here, right?'"
*::and he does the actions, too::*
"And when they're sitting on a park bench, and they're also sitting very close to each other, and they're about to like, kiss.. then you interrupt them, and go, 'Um, can you scoot over, please?' And you have to get in the middle, too. Then you say, 'Wow, it's a nice day, huh? When you sit in this seat, you get the best view!'"
*::also does the actions::*
"Don't forget about when they're about to hug, too! See, they're stretching their arms out to each other, and they're about to hug.. and then you come running right in between them, and they end up hugging YOU! (*::does the actions::* And then you have to act all annoyed and go, 'What's up with this? Why are you hugging me?'"
"I'm not done yet!" J.E.F. keeps on going. "There's more! You know the song about sitting in a tree and kissing?"
*::nods::*
"Well, when your best friend and the person you like are sitting in a tree and about to kiss or they're kissing already, then you get an ax, and cut the tree down!"
*::blinks::*
"And when they're on the couch, moving closer and closer and closer and closer to each other, then you run into the room, squeeze in between them, turn on the TV, and turn up the volume, and shout 'Go Raiders!!'"
*::again, he does the actions::*
*::The Candy Holic, Trangie, and ~*!fireblaze~*! are presently laughing their heads off::*
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Philosophy number three: Don't Disrespect the Birds
"Don't disrespect the birds," J.E.F. says, "Or else they'll give you 'presents.'"
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Philosophy number four: Life's Lemons
J.E.F. has this huge grin on his face. "If life gives you lemons, give them to someone!"
(Hey, if you know what LEMONS are, in terms of fanfiction, what goes through your mind?) ~.^
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Number five: Life's Tomatoes
"If life gives you tomatoes, then throw them at someone!"
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These philosophies are COPYRIGHT of J.E.F. If you steal, well, you know. Heads will roll.
