(To Third Eye Blind's "Jumper")
It's almost the fourteenth of February So try and guess why I'm so Depressed
I wish you would send that Valentine
My friend
You should see the junk mail and all The bill's that I've been getting in and
If I get one more thing from Ed McMahon, I'll kill my mailman...
(Talking) Something like that
(Colin Quinn) You said you got candy when you sang Halloween Carols. What do you want from these songs, Valentines?
(Jimmy) Valentines, candy, maybe a little loving. Everyone needs a little love Colin, you know?
(To Sean Mullin's "Lullabye")
She said she likes hard candy
I said "Yeah who doesn't?"
Her favorite ones are the hearts with All the words on them like
"Hug me" and "Kiss me"
and "Miss ya" and "Cutie Pie"
And I said "If I get those things than maybe tonight you'll be mine"
She said "You're a complete idiot"
'Cause it's almost midnight on Valentine's Day
And I haven't gotten one damn candy
I took her hand, brushed back her hair, and I sang to her
I said "I know a place, it's open up all night" Valentine Valentine
Valentine
(Talking) You can just call people up on the phone
(To New Radicals "You Get What You Give")
It's 3 o'clock in the morning
A wasted Valentine's night, right
My ex-girlfriends getting a phone call
Tonight
I got tequila in me
Don't hang up
It's your ex-boyfriend Jimmy
I am drunk
Had sig Long Island Ice Teas
I love you
Won't you come back to me please?
(Talking) Don't act surprised when someone throws a pebble at your upstairs bedroom window and serenades you with this.
(To Madonna's "Ray of Light")
I got myself a Whitmann's Sampler Chocolate
It comes with a diagram
That describes every one
And it's sealed in a heart-shaped box
And it's sealed
And it's sealed in a stay-fresh box
And it's sealed
Will you be my Valentine?
Will you be my Valentine?
Will you be my Valentine?
