Nick Burns (NB)-Jimmy Fallon Nick's Dad (ND)-Billy Bob Thornton
1-Dammit! I can't print this file! Has anybody seen the computer guy, I paged him like five times!
2-Who? Nick Burns? I called about twenty minutes ago, and he told me to go soak my head.
3-I don't like that guy.
1-Well, where is he? Every time I try to print this file, the computer shuts down due to insufficient memory!
NB-Maybe the computer shuts down 'cause you have 32 megabytes of RAM and you're trying to run a program that takes 128 to function smoothly, X-Lax! *jingle-Nick, the computer guy, he'll fix you're computer, and then he's gonna make fun of you, cause he's Nick Burns, your company's computer guy!*
NB-Okay, okay, who 9-1-1ed my pagers? I was trying to have lunch with my dad. Sorry about this Pop, it shouldn't take long.
ND-Oh, don't worry, son. I always wanted to see where they trained for the Special Olympics!
NB-Good one dad! Okay, wha'ts up geniuses? [all start talking] Woah, woah, woah! I didn't install dual-processors in my brain! Okay, one at a time.
1-Okay, well, I'm the one that paged you.
NB-Okay, well, what's the emergency?
1-Um...there's not enough memory to print, and I need a hard copy so I can get out of here early.
NB-Oh that is an emergency! Gee, we'd better hurry up so you can get home to eat Snackwells and talk to your cats.
ND-Thats a good one son!
NB-Thanks Dad.
ND-It reminds me of a saying we had in the 70's-you should try reading the manual instead of sitting around fiddling with your Wang!
NB-Wang! Nice one dad!
1-Well, could you help me print this file?
NB-Yeah, what other programs do you have running?
1-Uh..how do I find that out?
NB-Go to your applications folder.
1-Okay, where's that at?
NB-Your control strip.
1-What? Which...
NB-It's by the tool bar.
1-Okay...which tool bar?
NB-MOVE! Geez Louise, your I-Mac is slow. It's slower than Starr Jones on a treadmill. Was that so hard? See what I'm talking about dad?
ND-You're right son. These guys are about as quick as an Intel-Pentium-I!
NB-Who's next?
2-Hey Nick, how's it going?
ND-Oh, is this the guy that goes to the Dudes with Boobs web site?
NB-No. You've Got She-Male is back here. This is the guy who refused to open his e-mail because he was afraid he'd get anthrax.
ND-What a bonehead!
2-Hey Nick is that your dad?
NB-Congratulations! Oh, wow, you figured that out without having to use a Lifeline.
2-Oh...that's like the show huh?
ND-You know, I think I can help this guy. [turns computer on] Done!
NB-Was I right about thse guys?
ND-That guy's about as dense as a line coat from Duke Nukem 3!
NB-God you are on fire! That's hilarious dad! Hey, can I use that in the chat room?
ND-Oh no, that's mine.
NB-Okay. Let's check on Skeeter. Okay, what's your problem?
3-I can't hear through the speakers while I'm transferring my MP3's to my new I-Pod.
NB-I-Pod? Gee that holds 1000 songs.
3-Yeah, so what's your point?
NB-Well, how many albums does Frankie Goes to Hollywood have?
3-Hahaha! They had two! Now, why don't my speakers work?
NB-Well, hit your Hot key through your control strip there.
3-My...my Hot key?
NB-MOVE! Okay, it says the firewall is functional. Lets check the contorl panel.
ND-Hey son, I think...
NB-Hey Dad I'm working! Let's check the output speaker here...
ND-Son, I...I
NB-Dad, please give me a break, let me try this
ND-MOVE! Okay, it's not your fault. This jughead here left his quarter-inch adapter in his headphone jack.
3-Wow! Not so smart, are we Nick? [Wham's "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" plays]
NB-Hey, you like Wham! huh?
3-I was dubbing that for my girlfriend!
ND-Did you meet her at the Dudes with Boobs web site?
NB-I'm outta here! You wanna go home or something?
ND-Uh, you know what, I've got a better idea. Let's go see "Monsters, Inc." and look for glitches in the animation.
NB-Let's get out of here. Oh, by the way everyone...
NB and ND-You're welcome!
*Jingle-Cause he's Nick Burns, you're companys computer guy!*
