| Life in Residence, Quiet Hours, and How Stupid Smart People Are November 26, 2003 |
| So you've made it through high school, got decent grades, and plan to attend university. Give yourself a pat on the back. Now, you plan to further yourself and your education. You're gonna buck up more than ever before, focus on your schooling, and get some real work done. You're not going to be among those silly people who decide to simply enjoy life after high school and settle for making only what you need to get you by. You're going to university, dammit! And you're going for a 4.0 GPA that will land you a high-paying job with NASA, or Microsoft, or something else some smart people dream about. So why the fuck would you live in rez? In all honesty, who thinks of rez. as a place of study; a place for civilized students to discuss intellectual ideas and theories; a place for the elite of thinkers? Idiots, that's who. Logical thinkers think of rez. as a place of pizza, beer, and sleep. And these logical thinkers know the true priorities of the student living in residence. I mean, as I write this, it's 5:30AM on a Wednesday morning. I will make no money, little recognition, and will most definately sleep through class tomorrow as a result of writing this. There's no point. But it definately seems like a good idea after drinking wine all night. And I would absolutely love to crank my stereo up for motivation and entertainment right now. Thus, we are brought to the subject of quiet hours. What is the purpose of having quiet hours? Quiet hours are those special times in which we reserve some silence and tranquility for those of us who need to get some solid reading and studying and sleeping done. How can someone read across the hallway when assholes like myself are cranking "White Wedding" and laughing at websites like "www.homestarrunner.com" or "www.jesusdressup.com"? (I also recommend "www.badgerbadgerbadger.com".) At my school, The University of Lethbridge, in Alberta, the quiet hours last from 11PM to around 10AM. Those of you who know what "fun" is know just what these hours are; prime drinking hours. (Okay, well drinking 4AM and 10AM borders on alcoholism, but you know what I mean.) Now sleep is something I strongly support. I'm a big fan of sleep, and plan to participate in the activity shortly. I just woke up a friend to bum a smoke twenty minutes ago, and it's fairly understandable if she feels somewhat hostile towards me tomorrow. Nevertheless, she understands my position; I've been up all night, consuming a slight amount of alcohol, have .72 cents in the bank, and feel like a cigarette. Hence, she gave me a smoke. This is a person who fits the ideal personality of a student living in rez. However, there ARE those individuals with the ambitions to devote their university lives to books and studies. Good for them. Maybe one day they'll invent something cool, like a pillow that shakes to wake you up in the morning or something. (I don't know, I'm not among such persons.) But laying in the fact that they have chosen to live in residence is a contradiction; it's complete ignorance to the fact that rez. life is not an ideal location in which to study. It's stupid. Therefore, one can conclude that the smart kids who decide to live in rez.with ambitions of working for Bill Gates are actually dumber than those who live in rez with the ambitions of getting drunk in every club/bar/alley in the city in which their university of choice is found. Additionally, the smart kids who are living in rez and aware of these opposing positions are presented with a choice; 1. Go to a study area provided by the university where the focus IS on academics. (Often the fun-lovers in rez will take the occasional bit of time to do this) OR 2. Sit and bitch about how loud rez is, wait for quiet hours, and then bitch about it some more while trying to study. Thus, we see that not only are the so-called smart kids actually ignorant as we have discussed, but they are also lazy. This is shown by the fact that rather than take a short trip to a provided area, they sit, whine, and complain. We can then conclude that such smart kids are also assholes. Now don't get me wrong, I respect other peoples right to a peaceful, respectful environment. But I knew before I lived in rez that it would be what I made it, and there would be a strong emphasis on fun. I guess all in all I'm just too awake to feel like sleeping, and wish I could play some 80's music a little louder. Nevertheless, we have proven that smart people are stupid, lazy, and downright mean. We can feel a sense of accomplishment. And on that note, with my head held high, I will now give in to the yawns and watering eyes that a pointless essay at 6AM will prompt. Yours, -Stevo |