I am so frustrated over this. Charismatic bretheren, listen! Listen to me! Any one of you who believes that the gift of tongues is the process of the Holy Spirit taking over and speaking through you is HORRIBLY mistaken.
1) It should be under the gift-holder's control. "The spirit of the prophets is in submission to the prophets" also applies when dealing with tongues, because they can be used as it! You shouldn't behave like you're channeling something - that's just strange and, quite frankly, dangerous. How do you know with absolute certainty it's God speaking when it's done in such a way? When I do it I think "let us pray/prophesy/etc. about [insert topic here]", open my mouth and just say it when I want. You should NOT have to go "God, pretty please can I speak in tongues right now?", you just DO IT. Otherwise, like I said - what the heck is really speaking through you? Can you really tell if you're out of control? "For God is a God of peace and not of disorder." What differentiates the tongues of a Christian from a shaman's if they both lose control? And even moreso, control is implied by Paul in 1 Corinthians because he commands us to speak only a few at a time in turn. How can you do that if you can't control it?
2) No, I do not advocate the "teaching and practicing" of tongues. It's something you are supernaturally enabled to do by God's Spirit. But it's an enabling, not a channeling. As I study the Scriptures I find it pretty clear that it is your own personal spirit speaking, in the tongue of angels. It's used for prayer and prophesying, and anything else a Christian might do with words, such as rebuking demonic forces, binding/loosing, breaking spells, etc. Please do not try to tell people to just "let loose and let the random sounds flow"! OI!
3) Stop putting such an unhealthy focus on it. Along with the other things. it makes the Charismatic Movement look foolish and irrational as a whole. Stick to the Word people! It says tongues are the lowest gifting on the scale (unless you can interpret/have someone interpret - then it's prophesying and it's top-rank important). Order, please, order in the churches - keep quiet if you have no interpretation, like Paul says; otherwise you look nuts. We don't need to shame Christ's name in this way!
4) Spirit Baptism - this is aimed at people who are against it as well, and maybe it will help. You get the Holy Ghost in you AT CONVERSION. You are thusly saved. If you recieve anything else it is "extra". Not as in superfluous, but as in "you-won't-die-without-it". Unless God knows otherwise, then who am I to question Him, our Master. But there is no second-class status, only first class and, if you accept it, a nice pillow and a glass of wine. So-to-speak. Those who don't ask for it, won't recieve it. It helps greatly, but not every believer is desiring such a thing - God's not gonna force it upon them. If you want it's in His will that you can have it, just ask.
5) Acts makes it clear that not EVERY Spirit-baptized individual will recieve tongues. So you are still saved otherwise.
6) A slight bit off topic but - stop, please stop putting experiences over the Word! Flopping around isn't Spirit-led revival, it's Satan - test the Spirits, please! And yes, I have the balls to question things, it's my God-given duty.
On a side note, I don't really think each person gets their own private dialect of tongues... it's clear that there are the "tongues of men" and the "tongue of angels", the common type these days is the latter. It kinda sounds like a mixture of Hebrew and German. However, each person having their own distinct personality, there may be differences in the way you speak it. Just like with your native language.
Tony