SERIES : the Correspondences
PAIRING : Buffy/Angel
RATING : PG14
SPOILERS : I Will Remember You
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these characters.
Nor do I own “again” (Janet Jackson), “the Dance” (Garth Brooks), “She’s Every
Woman” (Garth Brooks), “Wild Horses” (Wild Horses).
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18
FRIDAY EARLY MORNING
The
man found the girl in the warehouse surrounded in blood. She was barley
breathing; he raced her to the hospital. It was just before sunrise when she
was admitted and given immediate transfusions. She had no identification on
her, just a letter clutched in her hand. They tried to remove it, but she was
gripping tightly to it. On the front was written ‘Angel.’
“Where
is she?”
“Right
in there Ms. Lockely.” The detective walked in, hoping to see some normal cause
of the injury and luckily it was but the girl looked very familiar. “We’ve
tried getting the letter, but we don’t want to rip it, it says ‘Angel.’”
“Okay,
leave the letter there, I’m going to go run some stuff through the system and
try and get a name. Try to save her.”
Buffy
was groggy. She listened to the voices, and she heard hospital beeps. She had
been saved; she did not want to be saved. Why did they have to find her? She
wanted to be with Angel. She wanted to be done with the suffering. Suddenly,
she felt something being taken out of her hand.
FIVE DAYS LATER
“Ready?”
Cordelia asked her.
“No,
I’m not Cordelia.” Buffy said. “I want to die.”
“Buffy,
you can’t, Angel started something here and we need to finish his work.”
“Cordelia,
I want to die. Angel paid for his crimes a hundred times over and what does he
get for it? Nothing. They gave him nothing. I want to die.”
“Buffy,
we are going back to the office today, and I can’t be stopping suicide
attempts.”
“Then
don’t.”
“Buffy,
don’t say that when the doctors can hear you. They won’t let you leave. You’ll
feel better once we’re home and you can take a shower and a nap.”
“He
was human, we could have had children by now Cordelia. Why didn’t he tell me?”
“Buffy...
it would have killed you.”
“He
did that anyway. We could have had five happy years.”
“Buffy...”
Her friend began to cry, as she held her. Cordelia had to take care of Buffy;
it would be her last act of friendship to Angel. He would take care of Buffy,
as Angel had taken care of herself, when she was poor and sad. “Let’s go.”
“Okay.”
Suddenly she fell over, and a searing pain ripped through her head. “Cordelia?”
When
the pain had stopped she said, “We have to go pick something up first.”
“Okay.”
Cordelia
ran to the place where the vision had told her and picked up the letter and
smiled. Buffy was in the car alone and
she feared for her life so she ran back. Buffy had been so quiet, so distant,
not her usual self.
They
got back to the apartment and Buffy went to the bed. “Buffy? I don’t know if
you want this now, but my vision, told me to get it, and I saw it in your
hands, I think it’s for you, plus it says Buffy on it.” She handed her the
envelope. “I’m going up to return a few phone calls, I’ll be down in a few minutes
with some coffee, okay?” Buffy nodded. Cordelia had already taken all the
weapons off the walls and knives out of the kitchen so Buffy should be fine for
a few minutes.
She
didn’t know what it was. Correction, she did, but how? She opened it up and read
it.
My love-
I have managed to get this to you,
after I got yours. Oh Buffy, there was no other way. I had to, please
understand that all I have ever done was out of my love for you, for your life.
Seeing you in the hospital again tore me up inside.
I die so you can live. I know you
don’t understand all that happened but you can get answers. Take the jewel to
the Powers that Be, to the Oracles, they want it, they need it. Take it to
them, Cordelia knows how to get you in. Be strong love, I don’t suffer anymore.
I have at last atoned.
Eternally
yours,
Angel
She
broke down just as Cordelia came down. “Buffy?”
“Cordelia,
we have to go see the Oracles, they need this thing.” She took the jewel out
from the desk and it glowed green. “You can get me there?”
“Yes,
but...”
“No
questions, let’s go.”
They
were in the car, Buffy was quiet. “Buffy, I know the letter was from Angel, I
saw him in my vision, what did he say.”
“That
he has finally atoned for his crimes and that they Oracles want this thing.”
“Okay,
we’ll go.”
“Come
in Great Warrior. We’ve been expecting you.”
Buffy
was stunned to say the least. “Who are you? I don’t understand.”
“We
are the Oracles, servants to the Powers, as are you, a servant. That which we
serve and that which you serve are one in the same. Did you bring the jewel?”
The female said.
“Yes.”
She held it up and it flew into her hand.
“Good,
now we have a question to pose you.” The male said.
Just
then Buffy looked up and saw Angel walk through the door they Oracles had come
through. “ANGEL!” She ran to him but was stopped by the male.
“No
touching. A statement, a question, an answer and then you will leave.”
“ANGEL!”
“He
cannot speak, do not speak to him. He is aware of the implications of his
speech,” the female said.
“I
don’t understand.” Buffy said confused.
The
male paced over to her, “Please...” he took her hand and led her to the center
of the room where there appeared a globe. “Look into it. You remember these
events.” She looked and saw everything Angel had draw in the pictures,
unfolding.
“I
know of them, I do not remember them.”
“Do
you want to?” He asked.
“What?”
“Do
you want to?” He asked, his patience wearing thin.
“What
would I have to do?”
“Simply
touch the globe.”
“What’s
the catch?”
“Smart
girl, brother, like I said, she is not quick to decide. She learned well.”
“The
catch is that he will forget.”
“What
kind of sick joke is this?” Buffy asked getting frustrated. She looked over to
Angel; he was not looking at her.
“You
see this?” The male lifted the jewel up. “This is filled with blood.”
“It’s
not blood.” She said.
“Not
human blood for certain. Do you doubt the occurrence of those events?” He said pointing
to the globe.
“No
I don’t.”
“So
you remember?”
“No,
I believe.”
“Do
you believe you remember?”
“NO!
I believe they happened in my heart.”
“How
can you be sure?”
“Because
Angel wouldn’t have drawn me with a tattoo he didn’t know about.”
“Is
that all?”
“Why
would you have asked me if I wanted to remember if it never happened?” She
asked.
“She
has you there brother.” The female said walking over to Angel. “Do you know how
those events transpired?”
“Surely
not, I don’t remember.”
“He
went to fight in the sewers, you above in the light. His blood mixed with that
of the Morha demon. Morha blood is the blood of eternity. It also reverses the
effects of eternity.” The male said.
“What?”
“My
brother means that it gave him his humanity back.”
“That’s
how it happened? Why don’t I remember?”
“Because
later you went to fight the demon and he almost died, almost caused your death,
he came to us and asked us to change him back.”
“You
turned back time.” Buffy said.
“I
told you brother she was smart.”
“Yes.”
The male said to his sister.
“You
said you had a statement and a question, what is the question?” She asked.
“I
must finish with the statement. The blood of eternity, capable of creating
immortality and reversing it.”
“What
are you saying that I could be immortal?”
“Indeed.”
“And
he could be mortal again?”
“Or.
Indeed.”
“With
that blood?”
“Yes.”
“But
he died, he jumped in the hole, why is he here now? Why can’t he speak?”
“Because
he is a reflection of your memory, a shadow of the past.”
“So
why tell me this about the blood, what’s the point?”
“Because
he has atoned for his crimes, and he walks with the great warriors. But if you
mix his blood with that of the Morha, he may only leave this room through that
door which you came through.”
“I
could take him human?”
“Yes.”
“No
curse, no clauses, no conditions, human? To age and have children? To be a
normal human male, no consequences?”
“Correct.”
“Or
I could mix it with mine and be immortal.”
“Correct.”
“Why
would I do that?”
“That
is the question. What do you want to do with the blood?”
“It
is mine to do what I want with?”
“Indeed.
You may take twenty-four hours to decide.”
“No,
I don’t need it.”
“What
is your answer?”
She
turned to him. “Can he hear me? Can I talk to him?”
“Indeed
you may.”
“Can
I have a few minutes?”
“No.
We are on a tight schedule.”
“Angel,”
she turned to him with tears streaming down her face. “Angel, I’m sorry, I love
you so much, but I...” she turned back to the Oracles. “I want to take it to
those children who drank from the vampires, they should be waking up soon, I
want to save them, I want them to be children, can I do that?”
“Indeed
you may do anything with it.”
“How
much will I need to save those children and their parents?”
“This
much.” The female took the jewel and handed it Buffy. “Is that your decision?”
“It
is.”
“Touch
the globe.” He said.
“No.”
Buffy said.
“What?”
“I
want him to know, not I. I have gone this long without knowing, I want him to
keep the memory.”
“So
be it.” The male said, as he turned to the door.
“Wait!”
The female said. “If you touch it together, his memory will be shared.”
“Sister...
that is hardly what was to be done.”
“Brother,
she is giving up so much, she deserves this.” Just then a light from above
flashed. “See, they approve. Touch the globe together.”
Buffy
and Angel met at the globe and touched it and she fell to the ground with the
sudden overload of senses. She felt everything that had happened in a matter of
seconds, every touch, every punch, every glance, every little thing, in a
second. He made no move to help her. The Oracles turned toward the door and he
followed.
“ANGEL
I LOVE YOU!” She screamed before she was thrown out of the room.
“BUFFY!”
Cordelia caught her. “What happened?”
“Nothing,
we have to go to the warehouse. We have to find those children, as many as we
can. This blood, it will make it them human again.”
“Buffy?”
“Cordelia,
let’s go.”
19
TWO DAYS LATER
She
had read the letters over again. She had found the others under the bed and
read them as well. She had finished going through the chest of things as well.
She found his sisters copy of Romeo and Juliet and read it aloud to an
empty room. She enjoyed reading it out loud; it kept her thoughts alive.
“For
never was there a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo.” She
put the book down, tears streaming down her face. “You got that right Mr.
Prince. Now that I’ve successfully depressed the hell out of myself...” she
walked to the bathroom washed quickly and flopped down to bed.
She was asleep in minutes, tears streaming down her
face. She loved her dreams; with them came the memories of a day that she now
remembered. That night she dreamt that she heard his voice, “Buffy... Buffy...
I love you... wake up... Buffy...” she awoke in a groggy haze, half expecting
to be completely off her rocker. “Buffy...” She wiped her eyes once more,
twice, three times and opened them again.
“Angel...”
no sooner had she cleared her eyes, but she had filled them with tears once
again. “Angel... is it really you?” Suddenly, she felt his lips catch hers and
his arms wrapped around her waist.
“It’s
me.” She sat up and grabbed him, holding him so tight, she wasn’t sure if she
could let go. He held her as well and rocked her to sleep.
THE NEXT MORNING
She
began to stir, and remembered the dream; it had been so real. She slowly opened
her eyes and found a pair of brown ones staring back at her. “Morning Goddess.”
“Angel!”
She pulled him to her and began kissing his face, his nose, and his lips.
“Angel, it wasn’t a dream.”
“No
it wasn’t.”
“What?
How?”
“You.”
She
sat up. “I don’t understand.”
“You
chose to save everyone else instead of me, others over yourself. The mark of a
true hero, a true warrior.”
“But...
how did you come back?”
“After
you left, they brought me to the Powers that Be and they sent me back.”
“Why?”
“Because
they knew you were so close to the brink of suicide Buffy. They couldn’t have
their best warrior ended like that, so tragically, at her own hand.”
“So
are you human?”
“No.”
“So
we’re back to square one.”
“Not
exactly.”
“What
do you mean?”
“Come
with me.” He stood up and took her hand. He walked them upstairs and opened the
door and they stepped out on to the roof where they had eaten.
“Angel... no... don’t...”
“Buffy, come with me.
Kiss me in the sunlight.” He stepped into the sun, direct sunlight.
“But...”
“Shh...
Kiss now, explanations later.” He pulled her to him and captured her lips in a
tender kiss.
“I
was so sad Angel, you left me again.”
“Buffy,
I had to, I had to do it, end it, you couldn’t, so I did.”
“I
couldn’t live without you Angel.”
“You
don’t have to.”
“So
what are you?”
“I’m
a half demon, like my friend Doyle was. I’m half-vampire, half-human. I can be
in the sun, no longer than four hours at a time, but I can be. I can eat food,
but I still need blood to survive. I have my strength and the face, but I’m
alive, I have a heartbeat and a reflection, and I can have children.”
“No
you can’t.”
“What?”
“You
may get to contribute, but I have them.”
“You
know what I mean.”
“Yes.
How much blood?”
“Just
a pint or so, to keep the demon alive, otherwise the strength will disappear.”
“What
about the curse?”
“Buffy,
there’s one more thing I have to tell you.”
“What?”
“The
curse wasn’t a problem before.”
“What?”
“Let’s
go inside, I’m starving.” She followed him downstairs. “Buffy, I don’t want to
say this, but I’ve known for two years that my soul was permanent.”
“How?”
“A
gift from the Powers That Be, two years ago, there was this major big demon
mess, and I ‘fought bravely’ and was granted permanent custody of my soul.”
“You
knew this, and you didn’t say anything?”
He
began making eggs and toast. “Because I didn’t want to make love to you until
you knew everything and still made the decision. I didn’t want any old baggage
there, and I didn’t want us to be together without knowing each other again.”
“You
almost died Angel.”
“No,
I was born.”
“Whatever,
technicality, you didn’t tell me, we could have been together again and you
didn’t tell me, let me believe that we couldn’t be together.”
“You’re
the one that’s always telling me it didn’t matter.”
“It
doesn’t, it didn’t, but we also decided to be truthful.”
“Then
tell me the truth. Would it matter?”
“After
all I’ve told you, about my changing, you think it matters? I was willing to
give up everything for you Angel.”
“Then
why were in such a hurry to fix the curse?”
“THAT’S
RIGHT ANGEL! I’VE ONLY PINNED OVER YOU FOR NINE YEARS OF MY LIFE BECAUSE I LOVE
THE SEX, THAT WE’VE ONLY HAD ONCE, MIGHT I ADD. RIGHT, I’M THAT SHALLOW!” She
left the room. He followed her to the bedroom.
“Buffy,
what are doing?”
“I’m
getting out of here.”
“Buffy...”
he took her arm.
“NO!
If you have that low of an opinion of me, you don’t deserve to touch me!” She
threw some things in a bag and stormed by him and left. He let her go.
20
THAT AFTERNOON
“Here.”
She handed him an envelope. “This is from Buffy, she came over to my place in
tears Angel, tears, fountains. She wanted you to have this.”
He
took it from her and handed her one in return. “Give this to her? Please.”
“Fine.”
Angel-
How could you insinuate that? I
would take you covered in slime with a tail coming out of your head, celibate
or not. It doesn’t matter. I wanted to see about the curse so we could have
that connection again, not because it was either that or nothing.
Then you come and
tell me this and expect it to just roll of my back? No, I’m not going to do
this Angel. Maybe this fight wasn’t about you at all, maybe it was about me.
Maybe I’m mad at myself for not remembering. It sounds absurd, but I promised,
and I let you down. Just like I let you down my cutting my wrist. Angel, I
can’t imagine my life without you. I don’t want to, not now that I can have you
in it. Now that everything is finally fitting into my life.
I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I may
be a woman now, but as there is a demon lurking inside you, there is the child
inside me who is scared and craving love she never got. I love you; the next
move is yours.
My
Love Forever,
Buffy
“Here
Buffy, this is for you.”
Buffy-
I’m sorry. It was never my intention
to hurt you this much, again. It seems that’s all I can do. Funny the people we
love the most and want to protect, are the ones that are the easiest to hurt.
Ironic how the world works.
Never did I mean to insinuate that
the physical was all you cared about. If that were true, you would have dumped
my sorry self a long time ago. And you didn’t, and you didn’t give up. Maybe
I’m mad at myself for giving you up so easily without a fight. I knew the curse
wouldn’t change anything, I was still immortal and you not, and I didn’t think
you should know. There was still too much baggage. I didn’t want the second
time we made love to be with secrets surrounding it, nor did I want lies in
between us. I wanted the moment to be right. I didn’t want you to feel you had
to be with me right when I told you. I wanted us to have a clean slate, and to
know each other again because we have changed. I wanted us to be sure. I wanted
it to be special.
I wanted to be able to plan ahead so
everything is perfect. So I can worship you like you should be, so I can see
your body, and you can see mine, so we can be together. I didn’t want you to
feel obligated to be with me just because it had been fours years since we’d
been together, and I wanted to be sure you remembered. And maybe I was nervous,
to test the curse. Nervous to be with you again, you make me so weak,
vulnerable, it’s not a feeling I can take that well, and maybe I wanted to be
ready for it. And perhaps I was wrong. I can’t imagine it from your side, I’ve
tried, but I can’t know, not really. I’m sorry. I love you more than words can
express. Please forgive me, I love you and am awaiting your call.
My
Love Always,
Angel
21
THAT EVENING
He
went out demon hunting, he needed to kill. He needed to fight. It was early
still, but he decided to call it quits, he had this nagging suspicion he should
go home. So he did. He threw his jacket on the couch and sat in the chair for a
few minutes. He smelled Buffy faintly; her scent still lingered in the place.
She had only been there a matter of days, and already the place was full of
her.
He
heard someone in the other room, clearing the throat, and he turned around to
see her standing there in purple silk. “Are you coming to bed?” She asked.
“Buffy,
what are you doing here?”
“Well,
you did give me the key, unless you want it back.”
“NO!
It’s yours. Buffy... you never disappointed me.”
“Shh...
don’t talk Angel. Kiss now, talk later.” She walked to him smiling as he stood
up and pressed her heated body against his. “Angel?”
“Yes?”
“Would
you do something for me?”
“Of
course, anything, what?”
“Draw.”
“What?”
She picked up a wrapped box from the floor and handed it to him. He opened it
up and gasped. “Buffy, these are wonderful!”
“I
thought you’re going to need some.”
“Why?”
“Because
I want you to draw me Angel, I want to watch your face and your hands, and I
want to see you draw me.”
“These
are perfect Buffy. Let me go get some paper.”
“No!
Got it covered. Come with me.” She took his hand and led him into the bedroom
where she had an easel set up with a bunch of blank canvases.
“Buffy...”
“I
want you to use these pencils and all this other junk that I hope you know how
to use, to draw me.”
“Are
you going to pose? Most of these have been from memory, not from a model.”
“You
get the real deal this time, how do you want me?”
“How
don’t I want you may elicit a shorter answer.”
“Okay,”
she slipped the nightgown off, and it fell to the floor, he watched her
completely entranced, “How don’t you want me?” She asked as she began lighting
candles around the room.
“I
don’t want you gone. Otherwise, everything else goes, covered in chocolate,
whip cream, anything goes, but I don’t want you a vampire or demon, unless
absolutely necessary.”
“Deal.”
She took out a white satin blanket from a bag and let it fall down on the bed.
“What’s
that?” He asked.
She
turned and smiled devilishly at him, “Just the beginning Angel, just the
beginning.” She pulled out a red silk scarf and lay down over the blanket and
draped the scarf over her body. “Are you going to draw or just sit there
drooling?” She looked at him. “Angel?”
He
watched her lay down gently on the bed, fanning her hair around her face,
draping the scarf over her breasts and lower abdomen. He usually wouldn’t like
the color choice, but it suited her in this moment.
“Angel?”
“Hmm?
What? I’m sorry, what were we doing?”
“Where
were you?”
“In
my imagination again.”
“You
go there a lot.” She said.
“It’s
the only place where this could ever happen.”
“Well,
this is reality, are you going to be able to concentrate on drawing?”
“Yes.”
He sat down and went to work, looking up at her and drawing every curve, every
shadow. She looked divine in the candlelight. She had incense going too,
vanilla, the scent that was her every essence. Her eyes were sparkling as she
watched him. His whole body was tingling all over, he felt his pulse racing,
something he hadn’t felt in a long time. She rested her hand on her stomach,
with the Claddaugh on it and that was the center of the picture.
He
hadn’t used charcoal in a while, and she had gotten some different colors, but
he didn’t want too much color. He found the perfect color of her eyes, a blue
and green, and he colored the scarf in, lightly. Then he sought to find the
perfect blend for her hair and skin, and he created those too.
She
lay there, watching him work. He was so involved in the picture. Her chest was
gasping for air, and every inch of her body was tingling, trembling, her pulse
was racing. She had never felt so nervous; she had never posed for a portrait
of any kind, but wanted to do this. She watched him and he stopped for a minute
to take his shirt off. She smiled at him, and he smiled back.
“Angel?”
“Yes?”
“You said in the
letter that I make you feel vulnerable, is that true?”
“Everything
I said in those letters was the truth.”
“I
have a confession.” She said as he continued to draw.
“What?”
“Angel,
my body is shaking so much right now, I can’t even see straight.”
“Are
you okay?” That was a good question. She was. This was the most erotic moment
of her lifetime, he hadn’t even so much as touched her, and she felt as if they
had made love a hundred times over already. “Buffy?”
“I’m
perfect.” She smiled. “I’m just... I...”
“What?”
“I
want you Angel, I want you so much, I can’t wait, it’s like I’m going to
burst.”
“I
know, I’m almost done, I hope you’ll like it.”
“I
think I will.” It was true, every glance he took, made her feel like a queen,
she had never known what it was like to be worshipped, until these moments with
Angel.
“Done.”
He said taking a step back.
“Can
I, can I see it?”
“Yes,
it’s for you.” She stood up and walked over to him and he wrapped his arms
around her as she looked at it and just the feeling of his hands on her bare
skin made her tremble and sent shivers down her back. He wasn’t as cool as she
remembered, but he wasn’t warm like her either.
“It’s
beautiful Angel.”
“I’ll
have to get some spray stuff, so it won’t smear, but it’s done.” She looked in
the bottom right hand corner and he had written something there. “That’s the
title.”
She
smiled and read the calligraphy, “My Goddess.” Under the title was one single
letter, A.”I didn’t know you knew calligraphy.”
“Well,
like I said, there’s a lo...” she turned her head and pulled his head down to
hers and caught his lips in a passionate kiss. “A lot you don’t know.”
“I
want to find out.” She turned around and pressed herself up to him and enjoyed
the feeling of his skin on hers. He picked her up and carried her to the bed,
she sat back and he crawled over her. “I feel like I’m seventeen again being
with you for the first time, it’s odd and kind of exciting really.”
“Buffy?”
“Yes?”
He began a trail of kisses from her neck to her navel.
“Are
you sure you want this to be now? I mean, we’ve waited this long...”
She
pulled his head up to hers and looked deep in his eyes. “Angel, I’ve waited too
long for new memories of you, I’ve slept too many nights disappointed because
Riley wasn’t you. I want to forget those nights; I want new memories with you.
I want you to touch me in only the way you can, and make me feel the only way
you can. I want you Angel, so bad it hurts.” He continued his kisses down over
her breasts. “Angel?”
“What?”
“Do
you want this? I don’t want you to, if you’d rathe...” He silenced her protests
with a kiss.
“I’ve
never wanted anything else.”
That
night, they made love. The connected in the only way that truly satisfied the
ache they had felt for five years. They worshipped each other, and memorized
every inch of the other with kisses and caresses. One moment they were tender,
the next they were animals, they brought each other beyond the bounds of
reason, beyond sanity, beyond all logic. They crashed together and they rose
together and the picture he could have painted would show them working as one.
Neither knew where the others body began and their own ended, and as they lay
after several hours of love making, they both had never felt more alive.
“Angel,
are you still awake?” Buffy whispered against his skin. They were entangled in
each other, arms draped over the other, as close as they could be.
“I
can’t sleep. I know I want to, but I can’t. I don’t want to, I want to live in
this moment forever.”
“You
can.”
“What?”
“Draw,
draw us together like you have before. I love seeing myself through you eyes.”
“Maybe
I will.” He kissed her forehead. “I cannot find the words to express how much I
love you Buffy.”
“I
know, I feel exactly the same.” They fell asleep, two content lovers, wrapped
within the embrace of their soulmate.
22
ONE WEEK LATER
My Goddess-
I can barely stand this time apart
love. I need you next to me. I feel empty without you here with me. I think of
us every day that we are apart. What it felt like to be inside you once again.
You once said you felt at home in my arms, and I feel at home when I am buried
within your warmth.
Enclosed is another gift. I cannot
stop myself from drawing. Every minute I find another memory I want to have.
I’ve gone through five notebooks and four canvases since you left. You must
come home to me soon my love. I am empty without you.
Your mother came by this morning,
she said she was in town buying some pictures. She said that if I hurt you once
more that she would see to it that I die a horrid and unnatural death. Xander
said something similar. You are such a lucky woman to have such wonderful
people in your life, and I am the luckiest to have you. I don’t care what you
think, I don’t deserve you, what could I have possibly done to deserve a
Goddess? I may be your Angel but you are my queen.
No word. There is no word to
describe what I feel for you inside Buffy. Come home safely and soon.
Eternally
yours,
A
My Angel-
I loved the picture; for once you
are in one, although I fail to recall that position, perhaps something you want
to try? Tell everyone not to worry about me, and don’t you worry either. I look
forward to seeing those drawings, perhaps one day you will extend your model
base and draw some fruit or a landscape. I too have enclosed a gift, although I
have no artistic talent, I’m very good with an automatic camera. Hope you enjoy
them almost as much as I’ll enjoy showing you when I get home.
I too am empty. This time apart, so
soon after getting you back in my arms, makes me so sad, but it makes me
appreciate you even more. I have a confession my darling boy. You asked me at
some point during our night, if I was okay because you thought I was crying and
I said I was fine. I lied. I was crying. You awakened emotions and feelings I
had given up on. You brought them to the surface and I couldn’t feel my own
body. I had no other outlet for how much I felt, and so I cried for us Angel.
To feel you filling me once more was a dream come true and I look forward to
our next encounter.
I do not wish to leave you, there
are so many things I want to say, so many things I want to tell you, but I must
sleep. For only in my sleep am I able to make love to you once more. I replay
every kiss, every touch and every moan. No word. I like this, so appropriate.
You are so completely my Angel, and I your queen, that I will agree on. Until
we can be together again my love!
Eternally
your Goddess
EPILOGUE
When
approached with this project by my brother, I wasn’t sure if I could take on
such a big task, and truly be able to do it justice. I was working on a deadline;
I had one year to get the story of my parents together in time for their
fiftieth anniversary.
I
can remember as a child, staring up at the picture above the fireplace and
feeling the love with which my father painted her. I can remember walking into
his studio and seeing painting after painting hanging on the wall, a shrine to
my mother, the one he calls his Goddess. I remember before I went to school and
Mom was at work, I would sit in the studio with Daddy and watch him working on
another memory, so he told me. Sometimes it would be a picture of my mother,
other times it would be me, or myself and her. As I got older, and our family
grew it would be my brother, or our two sisters, or any combination.
I
close my eyes and I can see all the paintings that adorned the walls of the
house so vividly. Pictures of where he grew up, beautiful pictures of green
valleys and awe-inspiring mountains. I remember our family trip to Ireland,
when he took us to his old home and we walked the streets that were once
cobblestone. He took us to the cemetery where our aunt was, and our
grandparents, and it was there my mother and my father began to tell us the
story. My siblings at the time were too young to really understand the
implications of what he said, but I did, and I became intrigued.
When
we got home, I was inspired; I began reading of my own heritage. It opened so
many gates for me and I found that I had no artistic talent, mine was a talent
of words. So it was after years of college, and journalism and English degrees
that my parents anniversary was approaching and my brother asked me to recreate
the greatest story ever told, of two star crossed lovers who defeated the odds.
Everyone knows the story well, the curse, the breaking of it, the coming back
from Hell, and the break up. What people don’t really understand about my
parents, is how they found their way back to each other. This is what I
attempted to reconstruct, by talking with my parents at length about their
past, by reading their letters that they still write today.
I
went to my mother’s office every afternoon for a month and read all the letters
and picked certain ones to help my cause. For this, I had to dig deep into my
parents past, and detach myself from it. I had to look at it from a narrator’s
perspective and so when I now read the letters about the night I was conceived;
I can appreciate their love even more.
One
can go to the library and find numerous books on Angelus, the Scourge of
Europe, and the gypsies that cursed him. One can also read about the greatest
slayer that ever lived, the only one to out live the prophecy. Likewise, one
can get a book about the exceptional painter, Angel. And one can pick up a
paper and read about B. Summers Incorporations, and what clients they are handling
now. And now, one can read the story that links them all together throughout
time and history.
In
closing, I would like to thank my brother, Alex for bringing this project to
me, and my two sisters Willow-Anne and Kendra for the love and light they bring
me. I would most of all like to thank my parents for giving me such
inspiration, you two are truly divine. I can only wish I can find a love as
great as yours, I should be so lucky, everyone should. And we can certainly
answer the question once posed by my father. Indeed their love can stand the
test of time.
-Briana
Summers
~el Fin~