COAUTHOR: Evil Willow
SERIES: Black Dove
PAIRING : Faith/Spike
RATING : NC17
SPOILERS : Revelations, after that
it’s alternate universe
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these
characters. Nor do I own “Black Dove” (Tori Amos), “Cruel” (Tori Amos),
“Closer” (Nine Inch Nails).
NOTES & WARNINGS : bloodplay,
S&M as well as mentions of child abuse and rape
=====================================================================
The walk back to her place was oddly calm. They simply
enjoyed the serenity of the evening, holding hands. *Just sex.* She thought to herself.
*Maybe if I say it enough times, I’ll believe it.* She had to believe it. She
didn’t want to get her hopes up, for no one would ever want her for anything
else.
“What are you thinking?” He asked.
“How much fun we’re gonna have making up.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.”
“No, you’re not. You’re lying.”
“And what makes you so sure?”
“I can’t smell your arousal and if you were thinking about
what we’re gonna do, you’d be smelling.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“So what were you thinking?”
He wanted to know. She seemed semi-distant and he wanted to
know why.
“I was just thinking about when I was little.” Even as she
said that, he detected the slightest tinge of fear.
“What about it? Where did you live?”
“Boston.”
“I was in Boston once, in the early twenties.”
“At which time my mother wasn’t even born.” She sighed.
“Being friendly with vampires really dates a person.”
“But I’m young at heart. And I was only twenty-three when I
died.”
“Really? I’d have guess late twenties.”
“Do I look that old?”
“I don’t know… it’s hard to tell.” She said as she opened
her apartment door.
“Now, if I come in, am I gonna be thrown out again? ‘Cause
that was not so much fun.”
“No, I’m not gonna kick you out, as long as you don’t kill
people in my bedroom. Besides being illegal, it’s also very gross. Got it?”
“Got it.” He said closing the door behind him. He turned
around and saw she was already naked. “Bloody hell you’re gorgeous.”
“Don’t say stuff like that, Spike, just fuck me.”
“Why not? It’s true. You’re bloody amazing.”
“Spike,” she said sauntering over to him. She pressed her
breasts into his now bare chest, “you don’t need to flatter me to get into my
pants.”
He kissed her gently as he slid two fingers into her
drenched pussy. “I’m not *trying* to get in your pants, Luv, I’m already in
them. I only speak the truth.”
“Stop.” She said pulling away.
“Why?”
“Because this is just sex.” She stated, standing away from him.
“We’re not engaged, we’re no in a long-erm relationship, hell, we’re not IN a
relationship at all!” She climbed on the bed and spread her legs. “This is what
you want,” she said pointing to her cunt, “so why don’t you just take what you
want and leave the pretty words for some other girl.”
He stood, stoic, watching her watch him. She had been burned
badly in the past. He wondered if she’d ever have the courage to tell him about
it, or if she’d even have the courage to tell herself about it. She clearly was
*not* over it. He understood that situation well. Drusilla had never gotten
over the tortures Angelus had forced her to love. The only thing was she’d been
crazy before he’d done those things. Faith hadn’t been. She must have been a
little girl. He suddenly felt the urge to kill, violently, whoever had dared to
touch such an innocent.
*SHUT UP!* His demon roared inside. *Pussy whipped! Shut up
and FUCK HER! Rip into her throat.* Spike suppressed the urge, for as much as
he wanted to kill her, he also wanted to keep her, perhaps even more so.
“Well? Either we’re gonna fuck or we aren’t, but stop
wasting my time.” She said.
He looked at her eyes, she was scared, and she was alone.
She was a hurt little girl in a woman’s body, forced to grow up and face the
world’s demons when she hadn’t even faced her own yet. He picked his duster up
and threw it at her. “Put this on.” He said.
“No.” She refused. “We’re gonna fuck. Make-up sex,
remember?”
“Why do we have to make-up when we’re not in a
relationship?” He challenged and she opened her mouth as if to protest, but
then realized he’d tricked her.
“I’m not in the mood anyway.” He blatantly lied. His dick
was so hard he could probably pound through a foot of concrete, but that’s not
what she needed.
*Ponce! Wanker! Poof! Angel!* He shut the internal voice
off, he was sick of thinking and rethinking everything. He had a plan, and a
good one.
“Put it on.” He repeated, lighting up a cigarette. He sat in
a chair opposite the bed for a few minutes before she put the duster on, half
in tears. He could tell she hurt, she was confused and he didn’t know how to
make her see. He wasn’t sure he wanted to, or could.
“Why don’t you leave?” She said softly.
“‘Cause you’re wearing my jacket.” He snuffed the cigarette out
and looked at her. “Why can’t you take a compliment?”
“What? You’re sitting there asking me why I can’t take a
compliment when you don’t even want me?”
“What makes you think I don’t want you?” She looked at him,
exasperated, and motioned at the bed. “Just because I don’t wanna fuck you
doesn’t mean I don’t want you.” He stood up and sat gently beside her on the
bed. “And for the record, if it were ‘just sex’ then I’d have no problem
finding those handcuffs, chaining you up, and fucking the hell out of you,
willing or not.”
He caught the slightest presence of fear, and knew his
suspicions had been right. That’s why she didn’t like to be dominated, someone
ELSE had…
“Why not? That’s what,” she stopped herself. She’d never
spoken about it, not since the council had laughed in her face when she’d
finally left home and told them about Mike.
“That’s what… what Faith? You can tell me.”
“Just go.” She closed herself and went to stand up, but
Spike caught her arm and pulled her back down. Their lips collided in a gentle
and sweet kiss; a feeling she’d never experienced before. She looked in his
eyes and they were not cold, and for the first time she believed that it was
not just sex. “That’s what Mike did.”
“Who’s Mike and how much can I kill him?”
“He’s my step-father. Or he was, it’s possible he’s either
dead or divorced by now. My mom had a problem holding onto men.”
“What did he do?”
“What *didn’t* he do?” His hand reached out and caressed her
cheek, his thumb wiped away a tear. She leaned into his touch, it felt so
right, so natural, as if she were made to l… made to be with him.
Spike leaned back and pulled her into his arms. “Not
everyone wants to hurt you. *I* don’t wanna hurt you.”
Faith eyed him suspiciously. “You don’t wanna hurt me????
This sympathy’s a new one on me, seeing as I didn’t think demons were capable
of sympathy.”
Spike didn’t get angry at this response, as she wasn’t
saying it cruelly, just matter-of-factly. “I can be sympathetic, ‘cause I know what
it’s like,” he said with a sigh.
“Know what what’s like?” Faith asked, curious.
“Being hurt by someone who’s your family. Someone who’s
supposed to protect you, not hurt you,” Spike said, staring at the opposite
wall, rather than at her. Faith saw the deep hurt in his eyes, though, and knew
instinctively he was thinking and speaking of Angel. Or Angelus. Whatever.
//They were in the sewers again. William fuck up number one
hundred.... ah hell, he’d lost count. It wasn’t as if he’d INTENDED anyone to
get outta the bar alive and send the cavalry after all of them. But that’s what
had happened, now they were running for their unlives again. Because of him.
Again.
They finally lost the scent of the humans, and knew they
were safe for the moment. William almost wished they weren’t, because now
Angelus could turn his attention to the punishment phase, and he dreaded that
part.
Angelus turned to Darla, and said, “Love, I need a moment
with Spike here. He needs a lesson.” He leered over at William, and the smile
widened as he caught the scent of William’s fear.
“I should think SO,” Darla said angrily. “I swear, Angelus,
why I haven’t ordered you to just rid us of the idiot and the lunatic is beyond
me! But I warn you, my patience is wearing thin, and it won’t be long until I
do just that. Get your childer under control or you’ll have to choose: me, or
them.” She added with a growl before walking on down the tunnel, dragging
Drusilla with her.
William knew the drill. He bowed his head in a gesture of
submission, “Sire I’m--”
“SILENCE!” Angelus roared, and his fist impacted with
William’s nose, sending him backward. He hit the wall with a grunt, feeling his
skull crack and the blood begin to trickle from head and nose. Wouldn’t be the
last of it either, he knew. He stayed sitting against the wall, as he didn’t
want to appear rebellious or challenging toward Angelus.
“Get up, Spike,” Angelus ordered.
William winced. Spike, was it, then? Meaning Angelus was
pissed, and moreso than usual. Most of the time he was Will, or William. But
when he’d made Angelus regret siring him, that’s when he was Spike.
“GET UP!!!” Angelus screamed, and William obeyed quickly.
Angelus stalked over to him, and grabbed him by the throat, lifting him easily
off the ground. Bloody hell, it hurt, but he didn’t fight back. That would just
make Angelus angrier, and he was angry enough as it was. “You’ve forgotten the
most important lesson I ever taught you, Spike,” Angelus growled. “DON’T REVEAL
OUR TRUE NATURE TO THE MORTALS!” He
lowered William until his feet were touching the ground, then grabbed his hair
and slammed his head back against the wall. “Why is it” slam “so” slam “hard”
slam “for you” slam “to understand?” One more slam against the wall before
dropping him and stepping back to admire his handiwork.
William fell to his knees, feeling dizzy from the blood
loss. “Please, Sire--”
“SHUT THE HELL UP!” Angelus cut him off and punctuated his
remark with a kick to the ribs. William cried out as he felt two of them crack,
which earned him five more vicious kicks. He mentally cursed the idiot who had
invented steel-toed boots.
He was crying now, and hated himself for it. Angelus
laughed, and grabbed him by the hair, dragging him to his feet again. “What’s
the matter, Spike?” he asked with a cruel grin. “Did I hurt your feelings?” He
punched William in the mouth. “You’re a disgrace to the Aurelius line.”
William kept his head down, to hide the fresh flow of tears
at that statement. That had hurt more than any beatings ever could. All he ever
wanted was to prove himself worthy to be Angelus’ childe. He didn’t know why he
couldn’t do anything right.//
Faith watched Spike, she could tell he was lost in a memory.
He was silent for a good five minutes, then she gasped in surprise as a single
tear rolled down his cheek. She brushed it away with her thumb, which pulled
him back to reality. “What did he do to *you*?” she asked.
“What didn’t he do?” Spike replied bitterly. “The worst part
is that that’s not him out there,” he gestured toward the outside.”I hated
Angelus for being a bastard, but I hate Angel even more for not being able to
be Angelus. How fucked up is that?”
“I’m not one to talk on that topic,” Faith replied with a
grin. She paused, thinking for a moment.
She wanted to ask him. She needed to know for sure. “Spike?
Is this just sex?”
“If it were, I don’t think we’d still be here. We’d
especially not care to talk about the shit we’ve been through. It’s creating a
awful lotta trouble for just sex.”
“Then what is it?”
“I think we’re in a relationship, Luv.”
“I’ve never been in one.” She curled up in his arms. “How
are we doin’?”
“Not bad, but we need to work on our communication skills.”
“Well… since we’re in a relationship, we *can* have make-up
sex, right?”
He laughed, “yes we can Faith.” She pushed him back on the
bed, and straddled him, his jacket open, exposing her naked body. “But first,”
he said, “you’re about to witness history.”
“History? I never was a very good student.”
“This is an easy lesson.” He took a deep breath, “I’m sorry
Faith.”
“How is that history? And why?”
“Because I’ve never apologized before, at least not to
anyone sane. As for why :For making you feel unwanted and for whatever that
bastard did to you.”
“Don’t be. I’m five by five.”
“No Faith, you’re not.”
“I get by. But don’t let him take anymore of our time, this
is make-up sex, remember?” She leered.
“Right. So what do you want? Top?” He asked before flipping
them. “Or bottom?”
“How about we try something new this time?” He rolled off
her and she reached under the bed, bringing the manacles with her.
“You’ve already played that game, Luv.”
“But you haven’t.” She said, clicking one onto her wrist.
“Have you?”
She woke up with his arms wrapped around her. She glanced at
her wrists, thankfully they weren’t bruised. She’d been afraid they would be,
as she’d yanked on them a lot the night previous. But their little bondage
games HAD been fun, she had to admit. Spike was different, he hadn’t made her
scream and cry. Well, he HAD made her scream, she grinned at the memory.
“Spike?” She whispered softly.
“Yes, Luv?”
“Hi.”
“Hi. You okay?”
“Five by five.” She sat up. “I’m gonna swing by Giles’ to
face the music. I’m sure B has just lied up one side and down the other about what happened. Then, I thought later tonight
I could take you to the house I found.” She kissed him lightly on the forehead,
before shuffling into the bathroom.
“Want me to come with you?”
“Oh yeah, that’d be great! I’ll just knock on his door and
ask him to invite you in. I think I’ll pass on that conversation for a while.”
“You play your cards right, Luv, and it won’t be a
conversation.” He whispered as she jumped in the shower.
******
Late that afternoon
She had been reluctant to leave the apartment, but she had
to face the music. Giles hadn’t been at his house, so Faith was on her way to
the school. It seemed rather deserted as she opened the door to the library.
Giles and B were talking. She was about to say hello when she heard her name, so
she listened.
“Faith is out of control Giles. We have to do something.
Can’t we just send her away? Send her back to Boston?”
“No.”
“Why not? She’s got parents. Send her the hell away. She
wants to kill Angel, but she can’t, so she’s killing humans now?”
*It was ONE human B.* Faith thought.
“We can send her to Boston and let the Council deal with her
there.” Buffy continued.
“The Council refuses to pay her parents anymore, Buffy.”
*WHAT?*
“What do you mean, Giles?”
“There’s something you should know, Buffy, but Faith must
never know. The couple who raised her are not her parents.”
“What?” Buffy asked.
*WHAT THE FUCK?*
“The Council knew she would be a slayer. They followed her
mother’s pregnancy and when her mother died giving birth, they decided to keep
the baby. They told the father the baby had died, so he wouldn’t think twice
about her. Then they hired a couple to act as her parents until she was
officially called.”
*They were hired?* Faith thought as the tears began to flow.
“So they weren’t really her parents?”
“No. The Council paid them so much money per month to keep
her until she was ready.”
Faith couldn’t listen to anymore. She took off running.
“FUCK THEM!” She screamed as she ran through the park. She couldn’t see through
the tears, and she ran right into a man.
“WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING BITCH!”
“FUCK YOU TOO!” She said as she grabbed him roughly and
snapped his neck. The adrenaline pumped through her blood and she felt a little
better. She ran off to find Spike.
******
Just after sunset
The sun had just gone down. He thought Faith would be home
by then, but she wasn’t. He went off to find her. He was walking through the
cemetery, when he sensed a familiar presence. “Well well well... Spike.”
*Fuck.* Spike turned around. His first reaction had been
fear, due to the wonderful flashback, but he recovered quickly as he remembered
who he was dealing with now. “It’s the great bloody Poof! Back from beyond!
How’s it goin’ Sire of mine?”
“What are you doing here, Spike? Just leave. It’s safer for
everyone.”
“Can’t do that Mate. You know me, glutton for punishment I
am.”
“I’m not giving you any more chances, Spike. It ends now.”
Angel said, pulling his stake out.
“Oh, so that’s it? Give me eternal life and just wipe it out
without a second thought? All for Betty, huh? That’s real smart, Angelus. Kill
your childe for the love of a slayer. I wouldn’t have come back had it not been
for you, Mate.”
“For me?”
“Dru left, because of you! You fucked her and poisoned her
against me, *again*.” Spike hated himself the moment he said the words,
sounding like the whiny, sniveling childe, again, but they were the truth.
“Don’t blame your shortcomings on me, Boy. Not my fault
you’re not man enough for her.”
“You won’t stake me, Angel, you couldn’t.” Spike challenged.
After all, if Angelus hadn’t ever staked him, it was unlikely Angel would. Too
much guilt and all to do that.
“Like hell I can’t.” Angel stepped closer, the stake
pressing into Spike’s chest. Angel inhaled and his eyes hardened. “She’s all
over you, Spike. I can smell her. Can’t have enough? Have to rape her and then
go after her again? Where is she Spike?”
“I did NOT rape the bird. Unlike *you* I don’t have to make girls
crazy to shag me.”
*FUCK!* He shouldn’t have said that. He took advantage of
Angel’s shock to push him out of the way. Spike ran to find Faith.
He was heading back towards the apartment, when he smelled
blood, and heard screams. He followed both to the end of an alley. “HEY!” He
called to the dark figure.
“Hey, Lover!” Faith called back.
Spike walked towards her, as she flashed the blood-covered
knife. “Luv?”
She didn’t pay him another thought, as she plunged the knife
into the man’s gut once more. “That’ll teach ‘em! Wait ‘til they find your
body. A little present from Faith.”
She felt Spike wrap his arms around her. “Not that I’m not
incredibly turned on by a little bloodplay, but what are you doing?” She spun
around and he could tell she’d been crying, a lot.
“FUCK THEM! I DON’T NEED THEM!”
“NO. Of course you don’t… who again, Luv?” He asked.
“FUCKING BUFFY! THINKS SHE’S ALL BETTER THAN ME! AND I DON’T
FUCKING NEED THE COUNCIL EITHER! FUCK THEM ALL! I HATE THEM!”
“What happened?” He insisted.
“You know what they fucking had the nerve to do? They
FUCKING STOLE ME! THEY STOLE ME FROM MY PARENTS! THEY FUCKING STOLE ME AND USED
ME! All that shit that happened with Mike WAS ALL THE COUNCIL’S FAULT AND THEY
FUCKING LAUGHED AT ME, SPIKE! THEY LAUGHED AT ME WHEN I TOLD THEM ABOUT HIM
WHEN THEY PROBABLY KNEW ALL ALONG!”
“What are you talking about?” He had no idea what she was
screaming about. He wanted to know.
“And you know what the kicker is? I don’t even qualify to know!
THEY WEREN’T GONNA TELL ME! FUCKING B GETS TO KNOW! FUCK SHE GETS TO STAY WITH
HER FUCKING FAMILY BUT I DON’T! I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL THEM ALL!” She screamed
at the top of her lungs.
“Calm down, Luv. I’m always up for some killing, but what’s
going on?”
She stopped screaming and looked at him with those hurt eyes
of a child. He could tell she was going through the change. She was trying to
fight the evil inside her, but was finding it so attractive. He knew the
feeling.
“The Council. I overheard Giles telling B how they stole me
from my father when I was a baby. My mother died during birth, and the Council
knew I’d be called, so they rented me some parents. They paid them money to
raise me. All that shit with Mike never had to happen, Spike. It *never* had to
happen. They could’ve stopped it all. And they didn’t.” She was near tears, but
she shook it off.
She turned and calmly walked over to him, knife in hand. He
was nervous, he had to admit, he was a little nervous. She raised the knife as
she pressed into his body. “What does it smell like?” She asked, putting the
blade under his nose.
He inhaled deeply, “Fear.”
“What else?” She asked, grinding herself into him.
“Sex.”
“Mmm, he thought naughty things would happen with me. He was
wrong.” She cocked her eyebrow seductively as he watched her tongue snake out
to lick the sharp edge of the blade. “Oops. I hurt myself. What ever will I
do?” She said innocently as she stuck her tongue out. Spike leaned forward and
licked her tongue with his own. “You can take more than that, Baby.” She
whimpered as she thrust her tongue into his mouth.
He was never one to refuse blood of any kind, so he sucked
on her tongue as his hands started at her shirt. “Eh eh eh… tsk tsk tsk, Lover.
Not yet, Baby. I’m bored.”
“You won’t be in two seconds.” She tossed her head back and
laughed. “What?”
“Come on, let’s find someone to kill. I’m getting antsy.”
She announced as she brushed past him, dropping the knife.
Spike was more than ready to hunt with her. His plan was coming
along quite nicely. He had a beautiful goddess at his side, who was slowly
becoming dark. He’d known she had the potential long ago, and was thrilled to
see it coming to life. She’d do amazing things.
He watched as she pummeled the guy into the ground. She was
amazing. The third human that night they’d done together. “Wanna drink?” She
asked, holding the guy’s neck up.
“Sure, Pet.” He vamped and dove at the man, viscously
attacking his throat. Blood spurted everywhere and splattered his face. When he
was done, he looked up at her standing wide-eyed.
“Poor Baby is all dirty. I’ll have to bathe you.” She
grabbed his hand and dragged him back to the apartment. As soon as they were in
the door, she was ripping his clothes off. She tore them from his body, as he
did likewise to her.
She walked over to the stereo naked, and he saw the blood
splatterings all over her. She was so sexy covered in it. She put on a song he
knew well as she listened to it so much. As the music started, she cranked up
the bass. Her body moved as she strutted towards him, effectively backing him
into the bed. “You let me violate you. You let me desecrate you. You let me
penetrate you. You let me complicate you.”
She threw him back on the bed and began licking his face and
neck off. “Help me! I broke apart my insides. Help me! I've got no soul to
sell.” Her hands slid down his body and caressed his hard cock. “Help me! The
only thing that works for me. Help me get away from myself.”
Just then, she dropped herself down on his cock and squeezed
him tight. “I want to fuck you like an animal. I want to feel you from the
inside. I want to fuck you like an animal. My whole existence is flawed. You
get me closer to god.”
She laughed at the absurdity of the phrase, but it was true.
He made her *feel* like a god, and not a victim. “You can have my isolation;
you can have the hate that it brings. You can have my absence of faith. You can
have my everything.”
She began moving up and down on him, riding him hard and
fast, changing the angle of penetration every so often to take him in deeper.
“Help me! Tear down my reason. Help me! It’s your sex I can smell. Help me you
make me perfect. Help me become somebody else.”
He rolled her nipples between his fingers while she set a
fast and steady pace. She moaned and he was growling. And he picked up the
song. “I want to fuck you like an animal. I want to feel you from the inside. I
want to fuck you like an animal. My whole existence is flawed. You get me
closer to god.”
She sought his hands and their fingers interlocked as she
rode them both towards climax. “Fuck…” she moaned and he growled back as the
bass kept thumping. Her heartbeat was almost beating with the music. “My clit…”
she whimpered.
His hand broke away from her grasp, and slid down between
their bodies to twist and scrape along her swollen clit. “Good Spike.” She said
looking down. She hit him. She growled and vamped out and she laughed. “So
predictable, Baby.” She whispered, feeding him her breast. He bit down and they
both screamed as they came together.
//through every forest, above the trees
within my stomach, scraped off my knees
I drink the honey inside your hive
you are the reason I stay alive//
*******
The Next Afternoon
She was missing. He knew that much. Where was she? Just then
the bathroom door opened and she walked out naked. “Hey, Baby!” She said,
starting to towel off.
“You okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” She shrugged, flipping her head over to
wrap the towel around her hair.
“Cause of what we did last night.”
“I don’t care anymore. No humans ever did anything good for
me. I expected way too much. I’ve learned my lesson.” She stated
matter-of-factly. She seemed calm.
“Goin’ somewhere, Luv?”
“Scooby meeting about you. Angel is *very* mad.” She said.
“And that’s a direct quote. I figure I’ll go and tell them I won’t be taking
any more orders from the Council, or them for that matter.”
She sat on the edge of the bed and he crawled behind her.
His hands slid around her body to cup her breasts. “You know, if you call war
on them, you won’t be around long.”
“What are you suggesting? They can’t kill me. I’m human.”
“Since when did that ever stop the Council if they thought
it would get them what they want?”
“That’s true. So what should I do?”
“Why don’t you wait a while. Play nice, they still *think*
you’re nice. Apologize, suck it up and say that it was trauma from the rape.”
He nuzzled her neck, his tongue grazing her pulse point. “Then we’ll have our first
night together in our new place.”
“Oh yeah? What’ll we do?”
“We’ll fuck in every room, Luv. Make the place ours.”
“Sounds like a plan.” She stood up and started getting
dressed. “Okay, so I’ll go be a scooby and get some stuff for our place. You meet
me there after sunset.”
“Sounds good, Luv. I’ll see you later.” She kissed him
sweetly before she left.
Onto the Last Parts of Black Dove
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