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How to Irritate People!
First of all, irritating people is an artform.  You must be a dedicated student in the art of irritating people before actually trying any of these procedures.  A failed attempt at irritating people will of course make you look like a fool.
There are of course various levels of irritating that can be acheived.  From mild, to extreme irritation, so you must get to know the levels before you can begin.
Level One: Minor Irritation.
Minor irritation occurs, when your subject is mildly irritated.  Sounds simple enough really.  To cause minor irritation, one must do something mildly irritating.  This of course can be many things, such as slurping soup in a public restaraunt, to calling someone Kelly.
Level Two:Extreme Irritation.
You will know when you have reached the level of extreme irritation, when the subject threatens to beat you to death with your own shoe.  Major irritation can be caused by, crashing your car into theirs, or calling someone Kelly.
Now most people would like to avoid spending money when irritating people, so obviously, crashing your car into theirs would be out of the question.  So try to pick something a little less costly, like say, calling someone Kelly.
Now here are some examples of how to irritate people properly.  Use them wisely, and try not to flub them, as this could cause you embarrasment, and will entertain your target, rather than irritate him or her.
Irritating in a public place. Run around like a maniac screaming like a siren.
Go to the toy department and grab a toy gun.  Run around shooting people with the toy gun, then ask them why they arent dying.
Slurp your soup really loudly in a expensive restaraunt.
Go to any restaraunt OTHER than McDonalds.  Ask for a Big Mac, or some McNuggets.  When they tell you they have no such items, demand to see their McManager.
Call someone Kelly
Sit on a bench in a mall.  Politely ask everyone that passes you if they have seen Mrs. Poontang.
Tell smokers that smoking is bad for them.
Stop people on the streets, and give them directions to places they dont want to go.
Stop people to tell them what time it is.
Ask anyone "Is it hot enough for you?"
Phone the pizza delivery place of your choice, everytime they ask you a question, act paranoid.
Steal the hubcaps off of police cars, and use them as frisbees.
Eat a LOT of garlic, then go to the dentist.
Call someone Kelly
Tail a cop car.
Go to a corner store, buy lots of junkfood, pay for it all in pennies, count them out one at a time, lose track of how many you have counted at least five times.
Pretend everything someone says to you is sexually oreinted.
Irritating people on the internet or a chatline. Call someone Kelly
Ask everyone you meet what their asl is.
Pretend you have talked to someone before, many times
Ask everyone you see to have cyber sex with you.
Fill your website with popups to porn pages.
Act paranoid everytime someone asks you a question.
Use loud popups with gross colors.
Write a top ten list and post it on your website.
Write another top ten list and post it on your website.
Go into a sex chat room, and try and cyber everyone in the main room.
Go into any chat room and flood it with a request to be banned.
Use a proxy and repeat last step.
Call someone Kelly
Go into any chat room, find the topic of the room, and discuss anything but the topic.
Go into a lesbian chat, and try and make them all turn straight.
Put as many pictures of your cat as you possibly can on EVERY page of your website.
Use keywords for your website like: lesbian, hot sex, girl on girl, wild naked women, etc... Then devote your website to basket weaving, or any other boring topic you can think of.
Place ads on your website.
Devote a full page on your website to the time you got so constipated you were vomiting feces.
Beg operators of chatlines for ops.
Get ops in a chatroom, then kick/ban all other ops.
Make the background in every room of your website pink.
Call someone Kelly
I hope these tips come in handy.  In time, you should be an expert at irritating people.  And if all else fails, fart in a busy public place, that should do the trick. Or call someone Kelly.
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