ROBBIE

November's Column-----Chris's x's girlfriends and the girls Chris said yeah that was nice but I got to get going now.......

        And in the beginning there was Stephine, Chris's first girlfriend that I know. She was short with blonde hair, HUGE knockers adn really annoying (or os I think.) She was in my biology class and when her and Chris broke up Every freaking day she would come ask me "So hows Chris?" My reply of "Ummmm fine" went from tolerence in the beginning to a mixture exasperation, annoiance and extreme hatered in about 5 mintues.

        Then there was Jacqui She was cool so I'm not going to say much about her other then this .... Two mere days after they broke up sh edecided too date one of our former friends who by the way habitually has sex with assorted barnyard animals. She then proceded to cry about this next little incedent...

       Chris kind of got with one of our friends it wasn't anything there serious but I'm not going to go into details (this isn't a porn site...well yet at least) anyway she came over to his house because they were going to be "friends" after they broke up (horrilble freaking idea) and she some how through her unexplainible powers of womenly perception found out what happened. Exactly what happened. She then proceded to cry for several hours ( side note she is dating our goat-fucking Ex-friend at this time.) Yea none of us really got it either.

        In the recent months chris has had 2 really bad experinces, REALLLLLLLY bad. The first was Betsy, what's with betsy that made her so horrible you ask? well hold on a goddamn second and I'll tell. God only 4 paragraphs and already your impatcint little ass is asking stupid questions. Anyway they went on 2 dates 2 right. " yea yea 2" Chris replies form over my shoulder that his reading over. So after two dates she had lied too him made a horrible mess on his fingers and his bed (too this day I still refuse too touch his bed)[use your imagniation to figure out where the mess came from. Hint : It's dirty and I said "EEEEWWWWW"]
and made this freaky little note book dedicated too the greatness that is Chris(ushually this would pump his already over inflated ego but in this case it just scared the crap out of him so he sleeps with the door too his bedroom locked with the bedroomClub registered treadmark.) Lucky for chris he managed to get rid of her before she got down on one knee and proposed. If just barely.

        The next little "incident" I call heater but her name is acutally Heather. SIGHHHHHHHHHH. Well chris met her the same night as Betsy and after that littel shindig called her with the intetions too hook her and Chad up and him with her friend. But then Chris had to give her a ride home. but she didn'y want too g home so she directed him too a little park where she attacked him like Lion near dead from starvation that just happened too come across a gazell with 2 broken legs on the African Savanna.( Roarrrrr) anyway she some made it like it was his fault and felt the need to discuss it with him afterwords (Why?) but Chris the Clever little cub scout he is quickly nixed that and now she's calling chad every saturday night, so I Just answer it and pretend too be a Chinese drycleanrer. ( When the hell will she give up)

        (note too the ladies I'm sure some of you are saying too yourselfs "Damn that Chris is a bastard son of a semi-retarted Lemur." Well he really isn't he just wants a challange but never seems too get. So we here on the side lines just sit and laugh with the occasional pointing to emphasize the humor of it all.

       The morale of this little tirade: Chris is good with the ladies...too damn good seeing as no matter hard I try I couldnt get one if my life depended on it.

       P.S. For those of you who know me you probabley realized that is was fairly tame and devoid of my ushual nastiness that your all so fond of (and damnit you'd better be,) but I assure you me next colume will chopped full of meanness and will probabley offend at least 3.71 of you so I dont want to hear it.

       P.P.S. of all the 'idtys it the world the best is clearly nudity.

                                               FIN