Story 1: �Pub Troubles�
Bill Ward (drummer for BS) and Ozzy were in a pub (nothing new there then!) when Bill asked a very drunk Ozzy for a light for his fag. Being the good-hearted sort of chap he is Ozzy pulls out his lighter and held it out (on high flame) for his good friend Bill. Bill starts to smoke his fag and thanks Ozzy for the light. He then realises that as well as lighting his fag Ozzy had lit Bill�s beard! It took the entire bar staff, Ozzy and a few other drunks to actually put out the beard.
Story 2: �Drunk With Rhodes�
Ozzy and Randy Rhodes were very drunk and very naked. They decide to order a pizza, when the pizza arrives they start to eat. To Ozzy�s horror Randy starts chocking! Ozzy rushes to his aid, and attempts to thrush the piece of pizza out of Randy�s wind pipe from behind. Just at this moment Sharon (Mrs. Ozzy) walks in! (Remember that both are starkers!) She just walked back out again, very wise I should think!
Story 3: �Die Osborn Die!�
The Double O was staying at a 5* hotel in the USA, when out of his window he spies a group of people protesting. He turns to Iommi (Guitarist for BS) and says: �That look�s like more fun then being up here!� To which Iommi replies: �Ozzy! That is a group of people that are protesting about you. They want you dead man!� Ozzy turns to Iommi with a huge grin on his face: �I bet they don�t even know who I am, or what I look like!� �Probably not!� said Iommi as he left the room. When Iommi returned Ozzy was nowhere to be found! He rushed to the window that Ozzy had been looking out of, only to find that The Double O had gone down stairs and joined the protesting people! They had no idea who he was and so they had given him a sign and told him he could join them. Ozzy was walking around outside his own hotel with a sign that said �KILL OZZY OSBORN�! It took 3 security guards and Iommi to get him back inside!
So there you have it! Ozzy at his best! We all should love and worship this man, for he brings us good music, funny tales and interviews when he can�t go for 3 words with out saying F**K!
As the whole world knows he has his very own show �The Osborns�! Watch it coz it�s the funniest thing since that other really funny thing!
Respect Mrs Ozzy as she is very ill :-
!We love you Sharon!
