Funnie Mistakes

~InsultZ~

**Boy on the Bus
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!''

The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''

**Ugly Babies
How do you make ugly babies?
Ask your parents.

**Sugar, Honey, and Bacon
Three couples went to a restaurant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table.
"Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal.
"Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second.
"Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third.

**How To Know If Someone is a Nerd...
10. Likes people that oppress him: teachers, parents, principals, police, and authority figures.
9. Is overly enthusiastic about 'Dungeons and Dragons' and other role playing games.
8. Very familiar with megahertz, wears glasses and, can quote scripture.
7. Frequently speaks of martial arts, but still gets beaten up.
6. Says 'Whom' instead of 'Who.'
5. Is pleased when disruptive individuals are sent to the office, so that they can continue with their learning.
4. Prefers NPR to any music.
3. Gets upset when there is a test or quiz that he did not know about.
2. Rooted for Deep-Blue in the famous chess game.
1. Must be pulled off bridge when not accepted at the college of his choice.

** Yo Mamma is...
Yo mamma's so dumb she went to an airport and she saw a sign that said "Airport Left" so she turned around and went home

Yo momma is so fat that's the reason London Bridge is falling down.

Yo mamma's so dumb, she sat on her tv and watched her couch.

Yo mama is so fat, at high school, they had to take her senior pictures by satellite!

Yo momma is so fat, when she goes to the beach, she sells shade.

Yo mamma is so stupid, you threw a ball at the ground and missed.

**Fitness freak
My mother's such a fitness freak, she tries to feed low-cal charcoal to her potbellied stove!

**WayZ 2 CaLL pplz StoopiD

*A few fries short of a Happy Meal

*An experiment in artificial stupidity

*A few beers short of a six pack

*Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

*The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

*All foam, no beer

*The cheese slid off his cracker

*Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel

*Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear

*An intellect rivaled only by garden tools

*If he had another brain, it would be lonely

*Missing a few buttons on his remote control

*Too much yardage between the goal posts

**The Circle Flies
An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was stopped by a state trooper. "You were speeding," the cop said. "I'm going to have to give you a ticket."

"Yep," the farmer said as he watched the trooper shoo away several flies.

"These flies sure are terrible," the trooper complained.

"Yep," the farmer said. "Them are circle flies."

"What's a circle fly?"

"Them flies that circle a horse's tail," answered the farmer. "Them are circle flies."

"You wouldn't be calling me a horse's boutee, would you?" the trooper angrily asked.

"Nope, I didn't," the farmer replied. "But you just can't fool them flies."

**Cold Cream
Little Connie watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.

"Why do you do that, Mom?"

"To make myself beautiful," she answered. She then began to remove the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" Connie started. "Giving up?"