date:072902
time:8:31am
feeling:bored
music:catch 22 - 1234 1234

this morning i was talking to kelley again. i talked to her for like 3 hours, from midnight to 3. it was cool. i feel comfortable talking to her, i could talk to her for hours. man, it sucks that shes in hawaii and that shes staying for another 3 years. well after talking to kelley i went to sleep for about 2 hours and then woke up for summer school. i hate physics man. its such a drag.

hmm..i gotta start on my project for physics. we have to write a freaking 10 page report plus do a presentation. i dont know what im gonna do yet. i'll just make it up along the way.

whatever..

date:072802
time:9:29am
feeling:bored
music:dashboard confessional - hands down

"my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me, so wont you kill me, so i die happy. my heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or busy, or wear as jewelry, whichever you prefer.."

nice one jesse

date:072602
time:5:09pm
feeling:bored
music:finch - new beginnings

i just got an unexpected call from my friend kelley. im glad she took the time to call and say hi all the way from hawaii. i havent talked to her in a long time. i remember almost having a relationship with her but i dont really know what happened, but we stayed friends after she moved. it was nice talking to her. i hope i'll be able to talk to her more often.
i miss you kelley

today in physics we had another hardcore test. it wasnt as hard as last time but it was still hard. i think i did pretty good on it. i got to study a little before the test, plus during the test Hiep helped me out with some answers. thanks hiep!..im glad we only got about a week left of summer school..

well tomorrow im suppose to go to a cg 'party' but i dunno if ill be able to make it cuz im suppose to go to driving school. i hope trisa goes to her yearbook meeting so i dont have to go to driving school, i really want to make the party. ill just have to wait and see..

date:072502
time:2:47pm
feeling:bored
music:hey mercedes - eleven to your seven

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROX!!

date:072302
time:8:49pm
feeling:bored
music:big big furnace - phones are for squares

saw her again today and gave her a nice big hug..damn i wanna talk to her but i'm still afraid to call. ok, i'll talk to her once i get some one on one time with her, if thats possible...

im so bored right now, i dont have anything to do and i dont know what to do with my site, and i dont really have anything else to write about.. any suggestions? send me an email....

date:072102
time:11:15pm
feeling:wide awake
music:phantom planet - always on my mind

man ive been sleeping all day. i didnt do anything at all.. i just finished watching a movie with my mom and dad here at my house. it was "a beautiful mind." it was a pretty good movie.

this weekend was a busy one. first on friday i had a physics test and that just ruined the day cuz i think i did really bad. ohh well. right after school we went to long beach because the next morning we were celebrating my lolo and lola's 70th wedding anniversary. the ceremony at church was cool. the whole family was part of it, even i had my part in reading the responsorial psalm. after that we had a recepiton at this restaurant and that was cool too. i talked to a lot of relatives i havent talk to in a long time and of course there was a lot of picture taking. after that we just went to my cousin's house and skated for the rest of the day. it was cool.

dude, i can't get her out of my mind....

date:072102
time:9:02pm
feeling:tired
music:rhcp - otherside

dude.. trisa never stops. i told you she'd never change. i know she's gonna do all this stuff on her site or whatever saying that its my fault all the time and i start all the arguments. whatever. then shes gonna say stuff about how mom and dad say stuff about my grade and not hers and what not cuz she always has to bring that stuff up when someone asks if we get along. i dont know why. but whatever.. i tired to her. having to add little statements in the end to keep the arguement going. "if i said or did that to other people they wouldnt get mad." yeah, other people wouldnt cuz they dont really know you and they dont have to freakin deal with your stuff every single freakin day.

i just want to get out of the house sometimes but i cant. thats why i cant wait to get my licence... its not that i dont like being at home, its just that im always there and i/we never get to go anywhere and have a break from having to talk to each other.

whatever..

date:071802
time:9:20pm
feeling:tired
music:finch - perfection through silence

man.. im so freakin tired of my life. how everything seems to go wrong for me. how i never seem to get girl, how i never seem to have anyone to talk to, how i dont feel like i have any really close friends, how everything' just so fucked up sometimes. im so tired of my sister always bitching at me. thats all it took today to flare up all these emotions...i feel i like shes doing it on purpose just to make me mad. she doesnt know when to stop, her ego makes her think that shes to good twin thats always right, that our parents like better, i dont know.. and the way my parents act i think they do favor her, i dont really care about what they think about her (or me), she just freakin pisses me off sometimes. everyone that knows her thinks she's such a nice person. its like she puts on a nice act all the time in front of other people. maybe she's just like that toward me, but why? why me? i dont think things are ever gonna change.. you guys dont know what i have to deal with. sometimes i want to say something but i just hold it in. i tend to do that a lot with my emotions. i dont know why... i thnk thats why i started this journal thing, but i dont think thats helping much. maybe i should just trash this whole site... i swear one of these days im gonna lose it and i dunno..

i'm gonna fucking explode..

date:071802
time:2:57pm
feeling:unsure
music:happy hour - stay and miss me

im trying to put music on my page but the code wont work. anyone that can help please contact me.

date:071702
time:4:03pm
feeling:unsure
music:days away - know my name

"..i wondering why a girl like her is sitting here with me. ever since last saturday, ive been thinking about what to say. and all i can do is hope for the best. i'll sit aloe this time and spend an hour by the bhone. i wish you could call to save me..."

i saw her today at school. i havent seen her in a long time, well i did just for a a short time on friday to give her the gift and balloons i got her. im glad she said she liked them. i was (and still am) afraid to call her. i wouldnt have known what to say. i hope i could find the courage to talk to her soon. until then, i dunno..

date:071602
time:3:22pm
status:(still) thinking
music:the starting line -

new starting line cd, "say it like you mean it" in stores now. get it..now

date:071502
time:8:27pm
status:(still) thinking
music:taking back sunday - ghost man on third

"it's times like these,
where silence means everything.
and no one is to know about this.
it's times like these,
where silence means everything.
and no one is to know about this...

it's a shame, i doubt they won't get to notice.
it's a shame, i doubt they even care
no one is to know about this.
it's a shame, doubt they won't get to notice.
it's a shame, I doubt they even care.
don't let me down...

date:071402
time:3:52am
status:thinking
music: silence..

i got back from moreno valley like around midnight. it was one of my relative's birthdays, it was pretty cool. i saw some people i havent seen in a long time and i had fun skating with my cousin. the only thing was that it was really hot there. but it was cool. after that we went down to long beach to my cousin's house and chilled for a while then we went home really late because having filipino parents, even when they say that we're leaving you end up staying for like another hour or two.. eh..but its alright. i managed to get a few minutes of sleep in the car.

ohh yeah, im sorry i couldnt go meliza. i really wanted to. maybe next time. i hope you guys had fun.
...what's this thing i hear about all 2nd year cg going to the beach on friday, but josh and me not knowing about it??.....ohh well, we're the ones always getting left out, we're kinda use to it. we're always the last to hear about events.

man its like 4 in the morning. i dont know what im doing up so late or early. i havent slept at all tonight.

date:071202
time:8:13pm
feeling..:optimistic
music:nfg - the minute i met you

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAREN!!!!
i hope she likes what i got her. i would have gotten her some other stuff i had in mind but i cant drive so. yeah. i just hope she likes it. i gave her this stitch doll from the disney store and some balloons. (thanks for driving to the store and getting the balloons for me jaypee!) but jaypee forgot the rose. its cool. i still dont know if it would have been "appropriate" to give that to her right now. if jaypee bought it for me i would have given it to her. oh well. i'll find the right time. i hope..

:sigh:

ohh yeah thanks for the ride joy (and mark), even if you made me wait at school for like 45 minutes all by myself.

im sorry meliza if i dont go tomorrow. you know i would be there if i could. HAPPY BIRTHDAY again. hope all you guys have fun..

date:071102
time:8:05pm
feeling..:frustrated
music:astoria - start again

i need to get out of this house. i want some time to myself. sometimes i just feel like going somewhere, anywhere to just sit down and listen to some music on my cd player and think. but right now all i have is my room.....i just need a few hours by myself.

i dont think anyone will ever fuckin understand me, understand how i feel everyday..

dude, that sucks.......

date:071102
time:6:18pm
feeling..:hmm..
music:sublime - status

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELIZA!!. hope you have a cool birthday. sorry i wont be able to go on saturday. i hope you like what we gave you.

man, i need to go call jaypee so he could buy me some balloons for karen tomorrow. or maybe ill just go myself if i could find a ride. eh. i hope she likes the gift and the balloons im gonna get her...

date:071002
time:10:07pm
feeling..:?
music:taking back sunday - summer stars

just got back from kim's house. we watched 'a walk to remember'. hah it was pretty good i guess. chris and the guys made killed the sad moods though. they could make anything sound funny. i was gonna get a ride home from joe but he left early so i just got one from jaypee. everyone decided to come along just because. i think theyre gonna go back to kim's house after they drop me and josh off to watch 'black hawk down.' i had a pretty good time. and the food was good too. kim's mom cooks good food.

man tomorrow's meliza's birthday. i still need to get her a gift for saturday. hmm..i dunno. and its karen's birthday on friday. i gotta get her something. i hope i see her at school, i havent seen her in a while...

date:070902
time:6:59pm
feeling..:?
music:taking back sunday - youre so last summer

date:070902
time:2:44pm
feeling..:?
music:nfg - the minute i met you

Which Peanuts Character Are You Quiz

date:070702
time:8:39pm
feeling..:?
music:taking back sunday - cute without the 'e' (cut from the team)

Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happened / A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins / I won't ever ask if you don't ever tell me. / I know you well enough to know you'll never love me / Why can't I feel anything from anyone other than you? / Why can't I feel anything from anyone other than you? / And all of this was all your fault. / And all of this... / I stay wrecked and jealous for this / For this simple reason / I just need to keep you in mind / as something larger than life..

date:070702
time:3:10pm
feeling..:tired
music:the get up kids - im a loner, dottie, a rebel

yesterday's show was cool. i glad my dad let me go, he almost didnt.. we got there around 9 and just stayed outside with some other people for a while cuz the band that was in there was a little too hardcore for us. when we finally decided to go in there were 2 bands left before happy hour went on. the first one, bluntside, wa pretty good. but i dunno about the band. i think they were called one last time. happy hour was awesome. nick was awesome too being his first show with them. it was a fun night.

ohh yeah thanks for the ride camille and allen..

date:070502
time:10:04pm
feeling..:i need a ride to the show
music:penfold - june

eh..another week of summer school over. i think we should of had a four day weekend. well we had a test today in physics. it wasnt too difficult but i forgot some stuff and had to guess on a few. eh ohh well, im just hoping he grades on a curve. im glad the day went by pretty fast for me. karen wasnt at school today though. i hope everythings cool with her. maybe ill give her a call tomorrow if i could remember her number and see if everythings alright.

oh yeah. if anyone's going to the show at the epicentertomorrow and could offer a ride please call me or something. later..

date:070402
time:6:45pm
feeling..:
music:happy hour - taken away

be there!!

date:070402
time:3:22 pm
feeling..:
music:yellowcard - avondale

"if you're gonna rip my heart out could you use a knife that's dull and rust in color.."

date:070302
time:8:35 pm
feeling..:content
music:the vandals - and now we dance

eh more physics homework. its ok. hmm. karens back in school today. i think 2 more absences and she cant go back to summer school. i hope she doesnt have anymore drama. hmm. what else.. cris and josh are up to their usually stuff. messing around with RO supplies and what not. just being their funny selves. ive had a lot of cool times with them and my other cg 'brothers' and even my cg 'sisters.'

ohh yeah. happy belated birthday joji (2 days ago) and happy birthday johanna, brody, and apple (4th), omar (5th), meliza (11th), maryjane (17th), and my dad (20th). and happy birthday to anyone else that i forgot about.

bleh..no warped tour for me... =(

date:070202
time:3:15 pm
feeling..:disappointed
music:the starting line - best of me

eh. hardcore homework for physics. its ok. we dont usually get homework anyway. it was a boring day today.

man tomorrow's warped tour. i really wanted to go. i guess my dad doesnt understand about me going to shows and stuff. i hope he lets me go to the epicenter on saturday. man. i dont think he will, eh i never get to go out anyway. whatever.. ohh yeah,.thanks for the ride home matt.