I Want You To Want Me
- A Crush -
|
I want you to want me There he goes again, trying to get Lavender�s attention. There they are, flirting behind Harry�s back. Ron, you�re such a jackass! Why are you trying to steal your best friend�s girl when there�s another girl who�s completely head over heels for you and you alone? Ron looked over his
shoulder, obviously checking to see if Harry was anywhere near. His gaze
rested on me for a while and I quickly turned my eyes down to my homework. The
NEWTs were coming up soon and all I could think about was Ron! How silly, how
foolish to think of Ron � when he obviously wasn�t thinking about me. Harry came into the common room. Lavender bounced away
from Ron and over to Harry, planting a kiss on his cheek. I saw the
crestfallen look on Ron�s face and wanted to kick Lavender. How could she be
so blind to the great guy right in front of her? I wanted to kick Ron. He
shouldn�t be trying to take his best friend�s girlfriend! He shouldn�t
be so blind to my love! Everyone can see it � everyone except him. Well
then, I�m just going to have to try harder! I want you to want me I put my quill down and went to the Girls� Dorms, looking for Ginny. I found her in her room, reading a transfiguration textbook. �Gin,� I started. She looked up. �Wanna go shopping?� The Weasley�s face suddenly broke into a large grin. �Sure Mione, just lemme get my bag.� We went out into the new muggle clothes shop in Hogsmeade and immediately started to browse. �Look at these prices!� Ginny exclaimed, �They�re fantastic!� �I know!� I remarked, equally excited. I picked up a few shirts, and a couple pairs of jeans. Ginny also bought several outfits, and still had plenty of money left over. As we made our way back to Hogwarts, I decided that Gin was gonna be the only person I�d be able to ask so I may as well ask then. �Hey, Gin, would you mind giving me a makeover?� The redhead stared at me, flabbergasted. I was afraid she�d refuse� or laugh at me for even requesting such a thing. �Hermione Granger, what has gotten into you?� I looked at the ground, feeling my cheeks flush. �I shouldn�t have�� �Well, whatever it is, I like it!� I looked up, happy that she wasn�t going to ridicule me. �Really? You will?� �Of course! I�ve been waiting for this day forever!� I grinned back at her. We had finally reached the castle and made our way to Gryffindor Tower. �So why are you acting so� girly all of the sudden? What brought on this change in you?� I was afraid she�d ask. Should I tell her the real reason? I don�t think I�d be able to lie to her� and she wouldn�t tell anyone � would she? Maybe she�d even be able to set us up! �Well�?� Ginny spoke, breaking my train of thought. �Ron�� I replied, my cheeks flaming. �Ron? What the � oooooh� realization dawned on her freckled face. I couldn�t lift my eyes up if my life depended on it. If I did, I may have noticed the knowing grin on my friend�s face, but I didn�t. �I see,� she said, �Well, Hermione, we�re just going to make you so irresistible he won�t be able to refuse!� I smiled slightly, but I was still embarrassed. We went straight to Ginny�s dorm, just waving our greetings to the boys. There were a couple of girls in her room whom she called over immediately. �Janet, Rosa, Hermione here wants a makeover,� Ginny announced to the girls. A dark haired, brown girl and a blonde came bouncing over. �First things first,� spoke the darker girl, �do you wanna go natural or colorful?� �I�d like to keep it natural looking� -ish,� I replied nervously. The girls contemplated my hair and eye color and my skin tone. �Well, you don�t really need a foundation�� the blonde said. �And a bit of gloss is all you really need for your lips,� Ginny added. �Cosmetica Mirrior� the brunette chanted. A small mirror appeared, reflecting my face. The girls poked different sections of the mirror with their wands, all of them crowding round so close that I couldn�t see. Finally, they backed away and the image in the mirror was me � only my hair was slicked back in a ponytail, erupting in fizz at the end, two tresses left behind to frame my face; my eyes had a pinkish-purple shadow at the corner and were heavily lined in brown pencil; and my lips were a slightly redder shade, shining heavily with gloss. �Wow,� was all I could utter. �Do ya like it?� Ginny asked, her face glowing with apprehension. �There�re only a couple things I would change �� �Yes, yes?� �Er, um, may I?� �Of course, it�s your face after all!� I moved my wand, uncertainly, to the mirror and tapped my hair. It instantly became the image I had in my mind. The tendrils that curled out were left alone, and my hair was still slicked back and tied, but the fizz had transformed into perfect, shiny ringlettes. I tapped the reflection of my eyes and the liner decreased into a thin, barely there, band of color under my lower lashes. �Ooh, nice choice!� The darker girl exclaimed. �Yes� I love it! But �� �But what?� Ginny cut in. �But how do I get that look?� The girls grinned. �You just tap the mirror and say �Make me look like the princess within.�� �I�ll remember that.� �Here,� the fair-haired girl handed me the mirror. �Take it with you and cast the spell whenever you want.� �Wow, that simple?� The girls nodded. �Thank you so much!� Hermione hugged each girl in turn. �But it�s getting late� I think I should go now.� As I left the 6th year�s dorm, I threw another �Thanks!� over my shoulder. In my own dorm, I placed the mirror in my desk drawer and took the clothes I had bought out of my bag to decide which ones I would wear tomorrow. I chose a white �Angel� tank top to go along with a �muddy� denim skirt. But something was missing�. Shoes! Fishing in my trunk, I pulled out a pair of dusty, brown snakeskin imitation boots. And I thought it was foolish of my aunt to buy me these! I shined them up and they looked brand new. I was now very thankful for Hogwarts� new rule that allowed us to wear muggle clothing when we weren�t having classes � and tomorrow was a half-day due to some discovery Dossimer the Diligent made. I�ll shine up my old brown shoes I don�t know when I fell asleep, but I woke up very early the next morning. I got dressed and tapped the mirror saying, �Make me look like the princess within.� I checked Parvati�s mirror to find that I looked exactly as my reflection in the conjured up one. �My goodness, Dearie, don�t you look ravishing!� my reflection commented. I smiled and bounced out of the room to go down to breakfast. I sat in our usual spot at the Gryffindor Table, waiting for the others to join me. Harry, Ron and Lavender came in a few minutes later and sat down next to me. �Nice hair,� Lavender commented. I thanked her and waited for the boys� appraise � one of them in particular. However, they just nodded �good morning� and started to stuff their mouths. A few bites of toast later, Ginny and her friends came down. Ginny looked from my glum expression to Ron pigging out, then loudly declared, �Wow, Hermione! You look fabulous today!� Ron looked up from his eggs and gaped as he truly saw me for the first time that morning. He made a few incoherent sounds and continued to stare. �Well, thank you, Ron, Gin.� I said, nodding to both of them. I smiled, blushing slightly, knowing that Ron�s gaze was still upon me. I tried to pay attention in my classes that day, as the teachers were going through NEWT requirements, but I just couldn�t get my mind off Ron. I saw the way he looked at Lavender during Potions and it broke my heart. �Mr. Weasley, please tear your love-struck face away from Miss Brown�s and Pay. Attention!� Snape snapped. Harry looked at Ron, believing that Snape was only trying to humiliate him� but when Ron flushed beet red, I saw that Harry, too was turning crimson, only not out of humiliation, but out of anger. Ron kept his eyes on the black board for the rest of the period. I knew Harry couldn�t blind himself from Ron and Lavender�s flirting sessions for much longer. It was inevitable that he�d face the reality of his best friend and girlfriend�s overly friendly behavior towards the other. Harry did not talk to Ron directly for the next few classes and it showed on Ron�s face how embarrassed and sorry he was. My heart went out for Ron� and then I was terribly annoyed with this. He wasn�t deserving of my sympathy! He shouldn�t have this hold on me! Ron gave me a pleading puppy-dog face, begging me not to be mad at him as well and my rage melted and I was keeling over him once more. By the end of lunch, it seemed that Harry had decided to put his fury aside and was talking, somewhat forcefully, to Ron again. We walked out onto the sun-kissed grounds, shedding our robes. I noticed that quite a few of the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff boys were looking at the outfit I was wearing underneath. So did Ron apparently. �Hermione, isn�t that skirt a tad� short?� �Ron, it�s only four inches above my knee.� �So? You�re flashing your ankles!� he turned away as if my attire was too sluttish for children to see. �Honestly! We�re not living in the 18th century and you are not my father so stop acting like it!� �Don�t be so hard on him Hermione,� Harry put in, not wanting us to bicker. �You know he loves you.� Harry grinned as Ron tackled him but I couldn�t help but feel that Harry�s words were only trying to convince him that there wasn�t something between Ron and Lavender. The day passed by quickly enough. Ron had left to go somewhere and Harry and I were left to walk the halls in search of something to do. Just then, I remembered that I had left my Transfiguration book back in the classroom. �Harry, I need to get my book,� I informed him. �Alright, let�s go.� As we opened the door, I knew at once that both our hearts had shattered for inside stood Ron, Lavender�s legs wrapped tightly around his waist, both of them necking away at each other like mad cows. Neither of them had heard us enter the room. I had frozen, my heart, which had dropped down to my stomach, filled with dull pain. Harry, on the other hand, regained control of his limbs, walked over to Ron, and cleared his throat. Ron turned, mortified to see Harry. However, Ron saw more of Harry�s fist before he blacked out on the floor. Harry straddled Ron and started to punch him from the left and right. My body suddenly awoke from its trance and I moved forward to pry Harry off of Ron. Lavender started to walk over as well, and as much as I detested her for the moment, I let her help me. �Harry, stop it!� �You�re hurting him!� Harry, who was much stronger than the both of us combined, shruged us off, taking no regard to our pleas, and kept on pummeling the unconscious Weasley. Suddenly he stopped and looked down at the palm of his hands. In shock, he got off Ron and walked away. Lavender and I quickly rushed to Ron�s side. �We better take him to the infirmary,� I said. The two of us dragged the redhead all the way to the hospital wing and waited, in silence, for Madame Pomfrey to tell us that he was okay. �Well girls, Mr. Weasley�s had quite a beating,� the nurse started. Both of us flinched. �But he�ll be on his feet again tomorrow morning.� I let out the breath I didn�t know I was holding and made my way back to the Common Room, too wary to check on Ron. When Ron had returned to his normal self � in a physical sense only, it appeared Harry was not yet over the little � incident. Ron was shunned out of the boys� room, and it appeared the only 7th year boy who was on his side was Neville Longbottom and he certainly didn�t have the courage to stand up to the other three boys. Ron was left to snooze on one of the couches. I moved closer to the sleeping boy, sympathy swelling inside of me. I hate how he can make me forget about every bad thing he ever did, just like that. But he did, and I had temporarily blanked it out of my mind. All that mattered now was trying to calm the boy�s sorrowful expression. Didn�t I, didn�t I, didn�t I see you crying? I saw a slight shimmer at the corners of his eyes. Oh, God. He�s crying� Not knowing what to do, I placed my arm securely around his huddled body, wrapping him in a Gryffindor sheet. I want you to want me �Oh, Ron,� I
whispered softly into the collar of his shirt. �I can�t bear to see you
hurt like this�� A muffled �Mmm�
came from deep within his throat. Soon, the gentle rising and falling of his
chest lulled me to sleep. I woke up early the
next morning and quickly fled the scene. I�ll shine up my old brown shoes When I went down to the
Great Hall, dressed in tight jeans and a red spaghetti-strap top, I sat down
next to an ashen-faced Harry. He
wasn�t talking, obviously there was a lot going on in his mind, and I could
swear there was a hint of red tainting the white of his eyes. Oh, he doesn�t
hate Ron! He�s just mad� and betrayed� and he has every right to be!
Ron was acting like a complete ass! So was Lavender for that matter. Just then, an even
paler Ron joined the crowd in the Great Hall. I waved for him to come sit with
us, not wanting him to feel that I was excluding him. He gingerly made his way
over to where we sat and warily smiled as he took a seat on my other side.
Pity and understanding flooded me once more. He had made a mistake� and now,
he was paying the price � the very heavy price. Ron stirred the
porridge in his bowl before quietly excusing himself. I looked at Harry,
trying to telepathically tell him that I was sorry, but I had to chase
after Ron. The dark-haired boy nodded and turned to talk to Seamus. Ron was hunched over, his shoulders shaking violently, sitting
in one of the mushy chairs that were by the fireplace. Instinctively, I
swooped down next to him and embraced him. His large arms fell on top of my
shoulders, and mine clutched tightly around his back in response. Didn�t I, didn�t I, didn�t I see you crying? How long I held onto
him like that, him sobbing and muttering incomprehensible words into the
corner of my neck and shoulder. �Ron, Ron, Ron,� I called, trying to hush
him down. He looked up, his beautiful blue eyes bloodshot. �I can�t
understand a word you�re saying,� I smiled slightly. Ron pulled away,
however, he was still very close. �I-i-i-it�s jus� tha� ev�ry one�s sh-sh-shunnin� me� makin� me ou� t-t-to be some sort of � of bad guy o-o-o-or sum�in,� he stuttered. �Well, Ron, you were
making out with your best friend�s
girlfriend back there.� ��Ermione, n-n-not
�elping!� �Oh, sorry, Ron.
But� but why? Why Lavender� of all people?� Ron thought about the
question for a moment. Then he looked straight at me, so suddenly and fiercely
that I had to look away. �I-I-I�ve liked Lavender forever, Hermione. Long
before Harry even kn-n-new she existed! And � an � and I�ve been trying
to get with her f-f-for as long as I can remember. A-a-an� Harry comes along
n takes her. Where�s the fairness in tha� Hermione?� �If you liked her so
much, why didn�t you just ask her out before
Harry?� I asked, starting to get really annoyed with Ron�s answers. �I did!� he barked,
�I did and she turned me down flat!� �Oh, Ron,� I
gingerly stretched my arm closer to his, but he jerked away violently. �But
then� why�d she � er� kiss you� while dating Harry?� I asked,
placing my hand back in my lap. �I don�t bloody
know! Why don�t you ask her?� he snapped. I was about to ask
�Why�d you kiss her back?� but knowing Ron, no matter the words, the
answer would ultimately translate to the much loathed, typical answer:
�Because I�m a guy.� I sighed, thinking of something to say when Ron
stood up. �If you�ll excuse
me Hermione,� he was straining to keep the stuttering waver out of his
voice, �I may as well collect some of my things while those blokes are out,
if I�m never to step foot in that dorm again�� Feelin� all alone without a friend you know you
feel like dyin� I sighed heavily to
myself as I watched him leave. I picked myself up as well and headed for my
dorm. All I wanted to do was cry. Ron had been practically in love
with Lavender� All he sees me as is a friend � at the most! I�m more
like a study buddy for him aren�t I? Why? Why can�t I be that
�special� girl to him? Is that too
much to ask? Why can�t he see all that I have to offer? I mean� I�m not
� that ugly� am I? Well right now I
think I look like shit� at least that�s how I feel. I want you to want me I want you to want me Is that really so much
to ask for? I want you to want me Why is it that I�m so
� invisible� to him? I want you to want me Please Ron, I�m
praying for a miracle� Please, please,
be mine? I want you to want me Forget it. It won�t
come true. Nothing will happen between Ron and I. May as well give up hope
now� and move on. After all, tomorrow�s the last day of school. I'll put
him out of my mind for good. I may never even have to see him again. So why do those words
bring tears to my eyes? I raced out of the
girls� dorms and into the 7th year boys� ones. �Ron!� The crimson-topped
figure turned towards me. �Hermione, I�d really rather be �� Before he could say
another word, I leaned forward and kissed him. After a few moments of
stillness, I moved away. His face was one of shock. �Hermione�� he
started, about to pull me closer. �Good-bye Ron.� I dashed out of the
room and let my feet take me into the depths of the castle. I suddenly came to
a stop in front of a somewhat familiar portrait hole. I gasped. This was the entrance
to the Slytherin Common Room. A fire burned inside me and I knew exactly what I wanted. And Hermione Granger
was going to get it. |
Read the sequel I Don't Want You To Want Me
Go back to Song Fics Page