ADDIUNCE: jerry!! jerry!! jerry!!

JERRY: Welcome!! tonight, we have a very interesting episode for you. So lets get started, plz give a warm welcome to !!!!

(you walk on stage, and sit down)

JERRY: so , i understand you have something you need to tell someone...
YOU: yeah....
JERRY: whats their name?
YOU:

ADDIUNCE: *squeals*

JERRY: actually shes here tonight, but before all that, we have another person to see you
YOU: *raises eyebrow*
JERRY: plz welcome !!!

(out of nowhere you grab a , comes and sits on the sofa)

JERRY: , plz tell us y your here tonight.
: because i saw and snogging at the mall.

ADDIUNCE: ohhhhhhhhhhh

: THATS A LIE!! i was at home, watching the teletubies video collection!!!
JERRY: ok ok, whats the problem then?
: the problem, is that ive been in a sexual relation ship wiv and now shes engaged to him.
JERRY: ok, so lets bring out as has something she needs to tell her anyway.

( walks onto the stage)

: WHAT IS UP WIV YOU ?!?! I SAW YA GETTIN IT ON WIV MA OUTSIDE!!! YA NO WHO I FEEL BOUT IM!!!

: WHAT? then y did u ask me to marry you if you luv ?
: because i new i could neva actually ave im, thats y. and sed they'd neva ook up in respect of ma feelins.
: what bout my feelings then?
: dont worra babea u still ave me

ADDIUNCE: *squeal*

: god u r sick!!!
( runs across the stage and wraps his arms tightly around you)

:
YOU: um.. i cant....im..uh..married....
: married?
(you nod)
: what the, i dotn understand? who to? when? WHY WASNT I INVITED TO COME???
YOU: the ova day....in scotland.. i got married to .
: WHAT?!?!?
JERRY: was the wedding nice?
: (steps out onto stage) well, we gad sx bout (starts counting in is head)um......

HALF AN HOUR LATER....

: 19 TIMES!!!!
JERRY: it took ya half an hour to figure that out?
: hell ya!! i was tryin to remeber the good bits!!!
JERRY: which were?
: ALL OFF IT!!! ahhhhhhhh (starts thinking bout it again...)
JERRY: ok, so lets get this straight. has just married , who has been secretly inluv wiv him for sevral years. Now shes engaged to , who was spotted by kissing , and on top of that, has reveled that she and is in a sexual relation ship?
ALL OF YOU(cept jerry): tahst right!
JERRY: makes you wonder if these people are aware that they are clinicly insane. Maybe this country should spen more money on health funds, or maybe Vegas should just ban impuse marriages. Maybe i should quit this job and become a singer. Thanks for watching, its been a....nice night?
Goodnight!!!!

(chessy background music plays, and screen goes black)