"! no!" I cried with laughter. He wouldn't stop tickling me and he knew I was very ticklish.
"Oh come on, you know you love it!" he laughed, tickling me more. "I won't stop until you give up!"
"Ok ok, I give up!" I cried. He stopped, and just stared at me.
"What?" I asked.
"I can't believe that you're my girlfriend! You're too good for me! I love you so much!" he whispered.
"Aww, ! I love you too!" I said back, kissing him, so in love, not believing how lucky I was.

Those were the days� I loved more than I could possibly say. He was the perfect guy for me. He was just so caring and loving, so special, he'd always have that special place in my heart, but maybe that's the only place he'll end up being�

"So how was it yesterday?" I asked .
"Oh it was wicked babe, me n just tore the place down, we were the life and soul!! Such a shame that you couldn't come!" he said a little too enthusiastically for my liking.
"Yeah, well you know, family and stuff, anyway, er, , got to go, see ya honey�" I said with a pain in my chest.
"Ok then babes!! Love you!!" He said putting the phone down.
"Do you?" I asked the phone as if he was still there listening to me. I then sighed putting the phone down gently, a tear falling out of my eye.

There was no doubt about it, I was jealous of . She always seemed so close to and it made me feel isolated. They were best friends and used to go out ages ago, but assures me there's nothing but friendship between them. On the outside all I can do is put on a brave face, but every time I see them together I get a sharp pain inside me, and it was getting all too regular now. People tell me how much loves me. I know that keeps saying that. God knows the magazines keep saying how wonderful our relationship is, but I don't know. I love so much, and I just feel as if he doesn't feel the same. It's stupid this, I know. I mean before I was with , helped through his darkest moments, and she has always been there for him, so I should be happy that he just has such wonderful friends. But now it feels as if I'm dating both of them since '' is always around�

Since this feeling inside me has got stronger, me and , one of 's band mates, have got closer. We talk all the time and I guess it's easier since we're on the same wavelength. Why I don't like him in the way I love I don't know. just has that, that special something that I live on. Like a drug. I need everyday. We speak every night and I just feel as if his love for me is getting smaller by the minute, as if I'm losing his heart. I cry every night he's not here, wondering if he's just having a laugh with , glad he's not there with me.

I know I can't live like this anymore� and it's going to be as hard as hell. But I know I have to do it. I couldn't stop crying, my vision was getting blurred, but it didn't matter because I knew the way to 's house like the back of my hand. I had my bags with me, bags with all my stuff. I had to leave. Everything I had back at home reminded me of him. Everything he touched, sat on, slept on, all reminded me of him.

I wiped my tears, and nervously rang the doorbell to 's house, hoping that this would be quick and fly by. As he opened the door I saw the delight on his face as he saw me, slowly turn into a frown when he saw my red eyes and puffy face.

"Have you been crying babe?" asked.
"Can I come in?" I asked, barely audibly.
"Yeah, yeah sure, come on in." He said with a confused look on his face. I walked in, just standing in the hall. He closed the door, still with a confused look in his face. "Babes, what's wrong? What's with the bags?" He asked me.
", I'm leaving." I whispered.
"What? Where? Why?" he rushed.
"Don't ask why , I don't want to make this any harder for any of us�" I said turning to leave. He grabbed my arm.
"Why are you doing this to me? Why are you leaving me? Don't you love me?" He asked, I saw the tears brimming in his eyes, not being able to take it all in.
"No," I said, not looking at him.
"What?" he asked.
"I don't love you anymore�" I said still not looking in his eyes.
"I don't believe you! Tell me that you don't love me, look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me!" He cried.
"I�" As I looked in his eyes I knew that I couldn't say it. I loved him way too much to say it.
"See?" he just said.
"Ok , I love you, more than life itself, but I can't go on like this!" I cried.
"Like what? I love you so much! Give me a reason why you're leaving!"
"Because�" I saw anger and hurt in his eyes.
"Well?" He shouted.
"Because�" I said again.
"Spit it out!!!" He screamed.
"!!!!" I screamed as loud as did. The redness of anger drained from his face and he suddenly calmed down.
"But we're just friends," he whispered. ", nothing is going to go between us, there is no me and . I am so deeply in love with you like you wouldn't believe, and I know that she has no intentions of going in between us, she'd hate you to think that! You're the best thing that has ever happened to me! Me and broke up ages ago, we weren't made for each other, but you and me are!" he cried. I knew that from the look in his eyes and face that he was telling the truth, but I couldn't shake my jealousy off.
"," I said putting my hand on his face. He placed his hand over mine and kissed it. "I know that you're telling me the truth, but it's just that I can't stop feeling isolated by your tight friendship, the tight bond that the two of you have. There is no proper reason for me feeling this way, but it's just there. I can't keep staying in a relationship where it's you, me and . The way you act together, just gives me a painful feeling inside me, and I can't get rid of it. Asking you to choose between her and me is wrong because it is unfair. I need to go, clear my head, fall out of this feeling inside me for my peace of mind�" I whispered.
"But what about my piece of mind? I can't live without you!" he murmured.
"I'm sorry, goodbye , tell and the rest that I love them and will miss them. I will always love you!"

There was just a plain look on 's face, as if he wanted to say so much but couldn't. I kissed him lightly on the lips, tasting the salty tears that came from his beautiful deep blue eyes. I licked my lips, savouring every last bit I had of him, and turned away, opening the door, and not looking back, not knowing that I had left crying on the floor�

Baby, silly for me to feel this way about you and her
Cuz I know she's been such a good friend
I know she has helped you through

Talkin late on the phone
Every night you've been callin
Private moments alone
Could your heart soon be fallin
And I know she's a friend
But I can't shake the feeling
That I could be losing your heart

I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Although she's just a girl that is your friend
I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend
She shares a special part of you

You said that she's one who helped you see
How deep you're in love with me
And intentions were not to get in between
But I see possibilities

And you say that you feel
I'm the best thing in your life
And I know it's real
And I see it in your eyes
There's no reason for me, to even feel this way
I know you just enjoy her company

I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Although she's just a girl that is your friend
I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend
She shares a special part of you.

Alicia Keys - girlfriend