Desire is the Death of All Things

By: Haruka-chan

 

Chapter 4: Circus of The Damned

 

The sun was shining bright, she could see the pink and red with her eyes closed to the sun, opening them slowly she was slightly blinded, but soon turned away to find the vast greens of the land, the workers maintaining the land. Sitting up completely she inhaled the warm breeze that hit her lightly; she smiled she loved it here, it was better then England, of course she can ever say that in front of her father, but it was how she felt, she loved the bright sun, the warmth of the air, the smell of exoticness, after all this was her homeland.

 

Turning herself in the carriage, she looked to her right spotting a young man about the age of nineteen or so, he was smirking at her, he was slightly different looking from the rest of the workers, but none the less a worker, or was he? She felt like hiding behind her hat, but something kept her from doing so, she continued to watch him, as he watched her. Her heart was beating at a rate much faster then she thought it was possible.

 

What was happening here? Why was he standing there smiling at her like that? She tried to turn away but he held her in place almost as if he had a power over her body. Her cheeks burned from something unknown, bringing a hand she placed it over a cheek and felt the cool skin against her burning cheeks. Dear god she was blushing, did she find the young man attractive? No couldn’t be! “My Lady are you feeling alright? You’re turning awfully red.” Said the governess who sat across from her in the open carriage.

 

“Fine, Miss. Caroline, just a bit flustered from the sun, I suppose that heat is quite irritating here.” She answered turning away and then the turning back only to find him gone. “How much farther to the house?”

 

“No that far, we should be arriving soon, do try to relax darling.” Said Miss. Caroline, who has been the governess as long as she could remember, her mother passed a while she still a child, it seemed that she was very ill during the pregnancy and after birth her body could take no more. Then came Miss. Caroline who has been her governess she can remember.

 

“Miss. Caroline did you happen to see a young man, back there?” she asked suddenly.

 

Miss. Caroline stopped her knitting and looked up, “A young man? No I don’t believe I have, why?”

 

“No Reason I suppose I was curious, I thought I saw someone back there, but it must this damned heat.”

 

“Now, now young lady watch your mouth, a Lady never speaks such foul words, and those sort of things is for street rats and whores.”

 

She nodded her apologies and looked out towards the field once more, soon she will be reunited with her father, that’s all she looked too. But for some strange reason her mind kept going back to that young man, maybe being a young lady of 17 has finally caught up with her. Shaking her head lightly she ordered herself not to think of such things. ‘I suppose the hormone are finally acting as they are supposed to. This is quite an irritating feeling.’

 

They arrived at the small but grand mansion, it was quite a view and she already found herself smile at the thought of living in that wonderful house where she can see the green vegetations and the beautiful hills and valleys as she did when she was a child. She wondered if her old bedroom was chanced since she left for London nine years ago. The man in the white cotton pants, and shirt with a turban on his head came towards the carriage and opened the door for them. As she was stepping out with her large dress, she realized just how resentful she was towards the bloody things.

 

“Natalie, my darling you made it all right!” said her father as he walked towards them; his arms wide open for her to embrace him, once she got herself of the damned carriage.

 

“Father!” she ran as gracefully as she could to the awaiting arms. “Oh how I missed you, finally I can be at your side.”

 

“Yes, my dear those are my thoughts exactly, now come along we must have tea and discuss everything you’ve been up to since you left for England.” He led her inside.

 

“I wouldn’t have left if you didn’t wish for me to.” She said stepping inside, which was of course as grand and beautiful as the outside.

 

“I do hope everything is to your liking my dear.” He disregarded her comment; it wasn’t so very unusual to do so after all.

 

“Everything is beautiful Father, but all that matters is you and only you.” Natalie smiled and took her father’s arm. “I have finished all the wonderful books you have sent me, and I have loved the fabrics as well, they were so beautiful and rich in color.”

 

“Yes the fabrics were to my liking as well, I knew you’d love them as well, considering your fascination with them since you were a child.” He laughed.

 

It had been almost ten years since she had seen her father, when he demanded that she leave for England, he remained on business for the queen, and it had been a while since she saw him and of course her dear brother. Oh what joy being here brought her, if only she could express herself openly, if only she could truly embrace life here in this world and not feel as if she owed her mother her life.

 

II

 

He watched her with hungry eyes as she slowly undressed, unbuttoning each one with time, she pulled off the shirt, and then worked on her pants when those came off as well, and she stood in her white under garments. She unclasped her bra and her breasts were free, she then pulled her panty down her leg and soon she was free of it all. She stood naked in front of the lake; her tanned skin glowed under the moonlit night. It certainly was a beautiful night. She raised one leg then slowly dropped it into the water.

 

"God what a relief" she said as she stepped into the water completely.

 

The tropical whether was something she wasn't very used to. It seemed it was always summer here in India, and the air held a scent of exoticness. But the view before him was even more exotic then anything he had ever laid eyes on. Her moonlit hair stuck to her face as the water ran down her face to her luscious neck down her collarbone to the contour of her breast and back down to the water again.

 

Integral looked up at the clear sky that seemed to smile down at everything. The strangest thing about this place was that it seemed the creatures never slept almost like the vampires. She smiled and closed her eyes. What a place where words couldn't describe the strange warmth inside. Even the moonlight was iridescent on the water. Was this a land that was different and separated from the rest? The peculiar thing about this place was the familiarity she felt, as if she had been here before, or perhaps known someone who was from here, yet she didn’t know of anyone who she was close enough to actually feel an attachment to other then her father.

 

She ran her hand over her arms and shoulders. She knew that this was her mother's homeland, and of course the strange dream about a young girl that look strangely a lot like her. She wondered if she was here before, she couldn't remember much of her life before she turned 6. Her mother had passed away when she was young and she grew up learning about vampires and adoring her father.

 

"Father..." she whispered. She wasn't afraid to say his name and show just how much she missed him and craved his presence. She wanted her father back more then anything. Integral opened her eyes and saw the blur of the world around her.

 

“Is it not you who said that dwelling in the past will bring nothing?” he asked.

 

“I suppose even I’m not above such things, I can’t help but think of him” she thought

 

"How much do you miss him?" she heard the voice in her head.

 

"Much...if he were here..." she couldn't finish her words for it would have sounded so selfish.

 

She knew that her father is in peace now that he didn't have to sit behind a desk and give orders, lose soldiers in battles, and hold back desire that make one weak. Maybe it was the fact that she was born with a weak genital, for if she was a man acting on her desires wouldn't make her seem weak or shameless.

 

"Giving into what you want isn't shameless" she heard.

 

"Oh isn't it?" she asked.

 

"I don't find-" he couldn't finish she started to laugh

 

"I know you don't feel shame, you probably don't feel anything" she said bitterly apart of her wishing that she had a will to not feel anything but then there was a part that wished HE could feel. She closed her eyes listening to the water flow it was so lonely.

 

 

The splash in the water is what made her look up to see who it was. She saw the red coat blow around the figure and the ruby-amber orbs that stared down at her.

 

"Alucard" she said.

 

He seemed hurt and slightly angry, but then he started to laugh.

 

"What is so bloody funny?!" she asked. "Get out of here" she exclaimed her hands over her chest.

The merriment was still there in his laughing gaze and surprise at her action, he had seen her in the shower too many times to count so why was she so worked up, well of course she didn't know that he was or maybe she did but did nothing.

 

For a moment Integral forgot why she was so mad. Alucard walked towards his master and cupped her face.

 

"Are you doing this because you think that I don't have a weapon to use on you?" she asked.

He said nothing leaning towards her. "I am your weapon," he said. She turned her head away. "Why do you reject what you yearn for?" he asked.

 

"You have some ego if you think that I desire you!" she hissed.

 

And then he was crushing her head to his, his mouth forcibly slanting greedily over her mouth as if he was drowning in a sea of passion.

 

Integral gasped loudly against his mouth, the fire burning in her as she was forced to confront the onslaught of his desire. The movement of her mouth allowed Alucard access into her succulent mouth, drawing at the exquisite honey he found there and eagerly taking what was being offered to him. He would have laughed at that one if it were not he was enjoying himself. She moaned when his tongue delved deeply into her mouth, lightly tracing her teeth and causing her insides to want to explode with flaring heat as she felt his large hands skimming over her backside and buttocks, learning her rounded shape, as if he was planning on committing the soft curves to his memory.

 

The kiss went on and on, staggering them both with its intensity as tongues clashed and hands explored each other without even being conscious of the thought, it was no wonder Integral couldn't stop herself. When Alucard' head dipped to taste the soft skin at her throat, Integral responded by pulling away, the flowing mane of her pale-blonde hair shimmering like silk underneath the midnight moon, her arms loosely clasp around his broad shoulders. Neither realized that they now stood thigh-high in the waters, so wrapped up in their world for two.

 

"You will stop this at once" she said unable to pull her arms away from his.

 

It was the touch of Alucard's hand on her breast, his thumb and forefinger confidently circling the aroused nub that nearly caused Integral to yell at him in frustration. Alucard's head shot up at the sound of her voice, blue and reddish gazes clashing and connecting. Slumbering fires of desire curled in his blazing red eyes as his lids lowered lazily over his eyes. He cupped the full orb, molding the breast and testing its weight in his hands and instantly liking the way her breast overflowed in his palm. Was it any wonder why she leaned in further into his hand, enjoying the exquisite feelings that he was arousing in her. She shook her head lightly this was wrong, what in the bloody hell was she thinking letting her pet vampire touch her this way. She pushed him away and stood looking at him. Her eyes narrowing now back to the anger look she always carried with her.

 

"You virulent idiot!" she screamed.

 

Alucard simply watched her; she was bearing all her emotions were flowing out of her like a scent. He neared her once more when she stepped back.

 

"Your disgusting Alucard! Hasn't that rage in between your legs stopped after all these years?" she asked.

 

He smiled "No it only grew, and it won't stop until I consume all of you" he said flashing his fangs.

 

"You force me to take action against your threat" she said grabbing her shirt, but before she could put her hand through it Alucard grabbed her around the waist making her drop her shirt and stare up at him with surprise and anger.

 

"What are you trying to prove to me Alu-" his lips clamped down on hers. He was determined to hear her call his name in pleasure, to call his name as if he was her lover, he knew he would have her one of these days, of course he will wait until she gives herself to him; let him turn her beautiful body and mind into marble and keep it for all eternity. She couldn't believe that he was this bold, what was she going to do? She always threatens to put him back to the dungeon but she needed him to take care of Hellsing. It was no wonder he wasn't afraid of her, he knew that she needed him.

 

Integral pushed at him finally after he pulled away she slapped him hard. She picked up her clothing and rapidly started to dress. She was furious at her own weakness and at his stupidity. How could a servant get so out of hand that he starts granting his master's desires without permission?

 

When she was fully dressed she pulled out the gun and looked at him.

 

"If you ever touch me again I'll kill you for sure!" she said in a calm and steady voice.

 

Alucard smiled and was about to say something when she had a wry smile on her face and shook her head.

 

"I don't care what your about to say, and if you must know yes I can live without you! I have no need for insubordinate vampires!" she said turning and walking slowly towards the manor.

 

He stood for a second taking in what she just said, he didn't think she was capable of saying it, but she proved him wrong again. He tried to get into her head but she locked her mind from him and he knew that this time he'd gone too far, but also felt powerful from tasting her, in a sense he had won as well. He was going to set her wings free and make her, his.

 

II

 

Victoria sat next to the window watching Vikram look at her as if she was going to jump on him at moment and suck him dry.

 

"Would you relax I won't touch you," she said rolling her eyes.

 

"Why did you become one of those creatures?" asked Vikram.

 

"I really didn't have a choice in the matter really, I was attacked by one, and my whole team was turned into ghouls. Alucard my master in order to kill the vampire who killed my comrades had to shoot through me to get to him, and he asked me if I wanted to die; at that moment I didn't know exactly what he meant but I agreed out of my free will" she said.

 

"I suppose not all are turned because they want to," said Vikram.

 

"Of course not! It's just the circumstances at that very moment was thick, it was either I die a painful death or feel nothing at all for eternity and other then that my master is a very noble ma-vampire,” said Victoria.

 

“So you chose to be a monster to live longer,” said Vikram with an eyebrow raised.

 

“Yes-no! I mean I still have many things that I need to see, and learn about I didn’t want to die!” she explained.

 

“So it was like selling your soul to the devil so you could live longer” said Vikram.

 

“What? No! Why do you have to be so strange?” she asked.

 

“I’m not the strange one! I mean come on you suck people dry,” he said.

 

“I drink blood that people donate,” said Victoria.

 

“Yes to save other people’s lives!” he exclaimed.

 

Victoria looked at him “and your point is? I mean they are saving lives from becoming ghouls and vampires, but I however have to admit that my master would never kill for his own humor, he would only kill to feed and that’s why I admire him and maybe that’s why sir Integral admires him as well” said Victoria.

 

“Speaking of Sir Integral since when is she running Hellsing, can she handle such a job?” he asked curious about the woman.

 

“She has been running Hellsing for 10 years now and she is more capable then anyone, I have never met anyone such as her, she is such a steel I wish sometimes my stomach could hold it like her but I could never be like her” said Victoria.

 

“She is an interesting woman, though your master frightens me a bit, he seems to be attracted to Miss. Hellsing,” said Vikram.

 

“You really think so?” asked Victoria almost as if it was latest gossip, she almost felt human again, maybe she never did change much, her body may have but her sense of self just evolved.

 

“I saw him touching her as if he was her friend, of course Miss. Hellsing shot at him and told him he was growing to bold for his own good” said Vikram.

 

Victoria flopped down on the couch, “Oh that’s how they are though most of the time master behaves that way because he likes to irritate sir Integral once in a while, and I don’t think she really minds much.”

 

“She said that she will bring back my master…I have trust in her but I’m also worried for his safety he is a very easy man” said Vikram.

 

“Don’t worry yourself sick, I’m sure we’ll start looking for him soon” said Victoria with a smile.

 

Vikram looked at as she smiled at him, from afar she looked human if it were not for her ruby eyes she would be normal.  “Does the heat affect you?” asked Vikram.

 

“No not really but then maybe it’s my human mind that’s telling me that it is” said Victoria.

 

“If you like you could go down to the lake to take a bath, that’s where I told Miss. Integral to go, the bathrooms produce cold water but it’s much nicer to bathe in the lake” said Vikram.

 

“I’m glad you got over yourself and being the nice guy you are” said Victoria.

Vikram laughed “I suppose I will look pretty silly if I was afraid of a vampire and a woman slept with him just under her nose” said Vikram.

 

“I think sir Integral is awake even when she is asleep if she really does sleep” said Victoria.

 

“So Miss. Hellsing is this super steel woman?” asked Vikram.

 

“To me she is, compare to her I’m a raving coward,” said Victoria.

 

Vikram laughed again. “I will show you to the lake” he said.

 

Victoria nodded as she followed him out of the house and into lush green forest, under the night sky it looked a pale blue. Victoria has never seen such a beautiful place in her life, not that she traveled much; to be exact she never traveled before, this would be her first time out of England.

Everything was just so very green here in this land she came too, strangely though she felt a connection to this place, perhaps it wasn’t her connection she was feeling but her master’s.

 

II

 

Integral walked towards the two rapidly. Her body shaking; Victoria could feel the anger that surrounded her.

 

She instantly knew it had to be her master who pissed of Sir Integral because nothing can make her this mad unless Anderson was around somewhere.

 

“Sir Integral is everything all right?” asked Victoria and Vikram nodded in agreement.

 

“Everything is fine, please excuse me.” She said. ‘Everything is bloody beautiful’ she thought.

 

“Police girl we have company.” Said Alucard as he appeared just behind Integral with a smile.

 

“It seems they are welcoming us.” Said integral as she pulled out the gun that was in her pant pocket.

 

“I must get my-“

 

“Police girl it’s time you did some hand on hand combat.”

 

“What?!” she asked as she looked to her master in question.

 

Alucard how ever was very much lost in this own sadistic need to kill.

 

“Vikram do you have a weapon, if so I suggest that you get it out and prepare yourself.” Stated Integral.

 

“I’ll go and get my shot gun.” He gulped.

 

“Victoria go with him.”

 

“Yes sir Integral.”

 

“I do not wish for you to be alone, you will come with me.” Stated Alucard so suddenly that even Integral had to be a bit surprised.

 

Snorting and giving Alucard an ill smile she stated, “Alucard I will give the orders, it seems suddenly you have forgotten who holds you bound.”

 

Alucard stepped forward towards her, his hat touching the top of her head lightly, she felt those familiar chills run down her body as she did when he had kissed her, yes there was always sexual tension between them, but nothing more, she will admit that much, but his sudden protectiveness was disturbing, yes Alucard was bound to look after and not harm her, but this was different…it almost seemed as if he cared for her. Shaking of the feelings and thoughts that fled through her body and head she stared him off.

 

Alucard smiled and then chuckled lightly, “It’s a shame that you think I do much of what I for you because of a bound, do not mistake me Integral…my master. I do not want you to be harmed in anyway, you cannot be touched by anyone but me.” He stated as his arms closed around her waist.

 

“Don’t speak to me as if I belong to you,” she said with stern eyes, her hands making their way up to separate their bodies. “Release me, and stop this game before you do something you regret for the rest of your undead life.”

 

Alucard let her go and watched as she glared at him holding the gun pointing at his heart. “From this moment forward, don’t be so bold! I’m growing impatient! I will not tolerate your idiocies.”

 

“As you wish my master.” He said disappearing slowly into the night.

 

Finding herself alone, she sighed standing guard, watching the surrounding area, again having that heavy feeling as if she was here before hit her hard, already a headache working its way to hammer her head, she waited for something to happen.

 

“Sir Integral, we’re ready.”

 

Came Victoria’s voice as she and Vikram came ridding in the jeep, jumping up in the passenger seat they headed towards where Victoria guided the ghouls would be. Once they got there she would have been surprised by what she saw if she wasn’t doing this job for over ten years now. There where the cemetery of the near by village was about five to ten ghouls with bright golden eyes, not quite dead yet not quite alive walking with what seemed bones of those who have been buried, though much of the people cremate the dead, there were still many that buried the bodies of the dead. 

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” said Victoria as she watched the ghouls coming towards them, and Alucard nowhere to be found.

 

Integral made a note of how much he seemed to like showing just when they were about to have their heads cut off, she cursed the damned monster and then looked towards the servant boy who seemed like his throat went dry and any moment he would bolt out of this seat and run for the door. She pointed her gun at the nearest ghoul, concentrating on him, her mind repeated ‘here I stand, god be my salvation, and in the name of god may all darkness be damned to eternal damnation, deliver me now…amen.’ and she pulled the trigger with the silver bullet and watched as it went straight for it’s heart or what used to be it’s heart, once more she repeated her prayer and released another bullet and watched as this one blew the head off, and soon the body turned to dust.

 

Victoria watched Integral for a moment before she too was shooting the heads and heart of the ghouls, the small army of the ghoul nothing but dust on the ground of those who past on to the next life. “Damn, I can’t believe they were just eating the dead like that it was just gross. But Sir Integral

I have never seen this done before,” she said pushing some locks of her hair out of the way, “Hey Vikram are you all right?”

 

He said nothing as he nodded it had to be questioned if he was even breathing, but that wasn’t Integral’s biggest worry now, so the reports were true, there were grave raiders, those who were turned into ghouls in search of food dug up the dead, or was this some sort of new ritual? She sighed and reloaded her gun. “Looks like we have our work cut out for us, we’ll have to take care of this, before we have no control over the situation.”

 

Victoria nodded as she watched Vikram look like he wanted to puke, she truly did feel sorry for the poor guy.

 

Integral sat and waited for the young man to get a hold of himself, the cool night hair pushing the ever growing scent of rotten bodies and blood into her, her own body was reacting to the sickening smell, but it was the feeling of something entering her mind that alerted her, that it was indeed time to retreat.

 

“This is the circus of the damned, I welcome you Integral Hellsing. I hope you enjoyed the show, for this is just the opening act!” that nauseating laughter filled her mind, before she pushed it out. So there was a reason for her being here, and she was so very keen on finding out what, or who was summoning her to this land of exotic danger. “Drive Vikram!”