Chapter excerpt from Gossip Girl:
I Like It Like That
there's no place like home
"What island are we going to, anyway?" Blair Waldorf asked her mother. Eleanor Waldorf Rose was perched on the edge of Blair's bed, watching her daughter get ready for school while they discussed spring break.
"Oahu, dear. I thought I told you. We're going to that resort on the North Shore, so the boys can learn to surf." Eleanor cupped her hands around her almost-seven-months-pregnant belly and frowned at the cream-colored walls as if trying to channel the baby�s preference about wallpaper. She was due in June, and Blair would be off to college soon afterward. Today Eleanor and her decorator would discuss her plan to turn Blair's room into a nursery.
"But I've already been to Oahu," Blair wailed dramatically. She'd known for weeks that they were going to Hawaii for spring break, but until now she hadn�t thought to ask where. She kicked her antique mahogany dresser drawer shut and stood in front of the full-length mirror on the back of her closet door, primping. Her close-cropped brown hair was neatly tousled; her white cashmere V-neck was just deep enough to suggest a hint of cleavage without her having to worry about being sent home by Mrs. M, the headmistress, for dressing like a slut; and her new turquoise Sigerson Morrison flats looked so excellent with bare legs, she decided not to put on tights, even though it had been an unusually frigid March and she was going to freeze her ass off. "I want to go someplace new," she added, pouting into the mirror as she applied a second coat of Chanel lip gloss.
"I know, sweet pea." Her mother slid off the bed and squatted down to eyeball a particularly dangerous-looking electrical outlet in the skirting board near the window. Once the decorating was finished she would have to hire someone to baby-proof the entire house. "But you've never been the North Shore. Aaron says the surfing is the best in the world."
To Blair's dismay, her mother was wearing beige velour track pants with the word Juicy printed on the butt.
Hello, inappropriate?!
"So do I like not exist anymore?" Blair demanded. She dragged her baby blue shearling Dior saddlebag out of the closet and dumped her school stuff into it. "First you�re kicking me out of my room, and now I have no say about where we go for vacation?"
"The boys are buying some surfing things for our trip right now. You might want to have a quick look on Aaron�s computer. See if there's anything you want," her mother answered distractedly. She was on her hands and knees now, circuiting the room, checking for any dangers that might be lurking from a baby�s point of view. "You know, I was thinking apricot for the color scheme�so it�s girly, but not too pink? But now I�m thinking maybe a greeny yellow might be even nicer. Endive."
Blair had had enough. She didn�t want to go to the North Shore of Oahu, she had no interest in buying surfing equipment, she didn�t want to talk about color schemes for the stupid baby's nursery, and she certainly didn�t need to look at the word Juicy on her mother's wide-load, pregnant ass for a moment longer. With a final spritz of her favorite Marc Jacobs perfume, she left for school without even saying good-bye.
"Yo, Blair. Come here a minute!" her seventeen-year-old stepbrother yelled from his room as she stomped by.
Blair stopped and poked her head into the room. Aaron and her twelve-year-old brother, Tyler, were sharing Aaron's natural-fiber desk chair�all brotherly�while they ordered surfing gear online with Cyrus Rose's credit card. Tyler had stopped combing his hair in an attempt to grow dreadlocks just like Aaron's, and he looked as if he had some sort of foul hair fungus. Blair could hardly believe this was the room she was going to have to live in until she went off to college. Aaron�s hemp bedspread and natural sea-grass carpet were littered with old reggae album covers, beer bottles, and Aaron�s dirty clothes, and the room stank of his herbal cigarettes and those revolting soy hot dogs he was always eating�raw.
"What size are you?" Aaron asked. "We can order you a wet shirt. It keeps the board from chafing."
"They come in cool colors," Tyler added enthusiastically. "Neon green and stuff."
Like Blair would ever be caught dead in neon green, let alone a neon green wet shirt.
She could feel her lower lip trembling with a mixture of horror and overwhelming sorrow. Here it was, only seven forty-five in the mrning, and she was already on the verge of tears.
"Found 'em!" Cyrus Rose, her eyesore of a stepfather, boomed from behind her. He waddled down the hallway from the master bedroom, wearing only a red silk bathrobe tied with a dangerously loose knot. Hid bristly gray mustache needed a trim, and his fat face was red and oily. He waved pair of enormous orange swim trunks at Blair. They had a little blue fish printed all over them and would have been kind of cute on anyone but him. "Love these. Boys are going to order me a wet shirt to match!" he announced happily.
The idea of spending Easter break watching Cyrus make a fool of himself on a surfboard was enough to drive Blair to real tears. She slunk away down the hall to the foyer, yanked her coat out of the coat closet, and hurried off to meet her best friend. Hopefully Serena would think of something�anything�to cheer her up
As if that were even possible.
� Cecily von Ziegesar
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