Crash Bandicoot and the fake crystals (my FIRST fic ;^) )

Everything Is ok on the earth now… Cortex was Beaten two times, N. Oxide was Beaten too… Aku Aku and Uka Uka's conflict were fixed but…
SOMEWHERE IN AUSTRALIA…
Uka Uka: Bwaahahahahah!!! Finally we got it!!!
Cortex: That's so easy! Ah!
Uka Uka: If we (and when I say WE I intend you Cortex) can't stole the crystals we'll CREATE them.
(Suddenly a door squeaks and in the dark appears Tiny and Dingodile)
Tiny: Sorry boss, Tiny can't beat Crash.
Cortex: MORON! Do you think I don't know it???
Dingodile looks at his flamethrower; It's broken, burned and full of petrol
N.Brio: (appearing from the open door whit a torch) W-W-W-What's this? (Going after Cortex Brio hits Dingodile's Flamethrower.)
Cortex: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
KA-BOOM!!! (Lab explodes and one fake crystal fall in the woods )
CASH'S HOUSE
Crash: ZZZZZZZ…
(The crystal falls on crash's nose waking him)
Crash: OUCH!
Coco: what's happening Crash; Another coconut from the sky?
Crash: Don't be silly! It's a… a… a… a…
Coco: Aw! Crash! what's that?

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Coco: Oh my god! This is a crystal
(coco runs into the house while crash scratch his head)
Coco: Crash! there are 25 crystals in the safe!
Crash: …
Coco: That crystal is the 26th one!!!
Crash: …
Coco: Crash! This crystal is impossible!!!
Crash: …
Coco: Crash! Stop scratching your damn head! We must understand what's happening
Aku Aku: What's happening children?
Coco: Look this!
Aku Aku: Oh!!! But this is…
Coco and Aku Aku: A fake crystal!!!
Crash: I'm sure that this is a Taiwan thing… let me…
Coco: (Slapping Crash's Hand) Put that hand away!
Crash: Ow! O.K. I'm just kidding… what are you talking about?
Aku Aku: There are only 25 crystals in the earth, It's very strange… an excess of crystals can cause a total chaos… This must be a fake one… but it's too powerful to be fake… mmmhhh…
Crash: ehm…
Coco: Absolutely agree Aku Aku
Crash: ehr…
Aku Aku: This must be…
Crash: EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Coco and Aku Aku: (shouting) What is it???????????????
(Crash falls on his back for the shout)
Crash: I think it's a Cortex production…
CORTEX LAB (DESTROIED)
Everyone (except Uka Uka) Is picking up crystals
Cortex: Ah! Stupid alchemist!
Brio: I-I-I-I'm not a-a-an alchemist… I'm a-a-a-an…
Cortex: MORON!!!
Brio: (thinking…) Argh! He ends everything whit "MORON"
Tiny: Tiny find something
Cortex: Finally!!! the last one! Give me that moron!
Tiny: Cortex forget the magic word (Tiny means please of course; Note of the editor)
Cortex: GIMMIE THAT MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone: what… YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!! That's a piece of wood!!!!!!!!!
Tiny: Sorry boss

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WEEKS LATER
AT THE LAB…
N.Gin : Master Cortex, I've found the crystal
Cortex: Where is it idiot?
N.Gin: Is in…in…in…in…
Cortex: oh man! He's crashed again! EEEEHHYYY! can someone press ctrl+Alt+Del????
N.Gin: NOOO! IT'S IN THE BANDICOOT HOUSE
Cortex: WWWWWHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! AGAIN THAT MARSUPIALS????????
O.K. THAT'S ENOUGH TINY! DINGODILE! PINSTRIPE! BRIO! PAPU! JOE! MOE! TROPHY! ROO…
N.Gin: Oh no!
FIVE HOURS LATER…
Cortex: pant pant des… anf anf… story that pant pant Bandicoot…
Tiny: Tiny can't…
Cortex: MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRROOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
N.Gin: Hey wait! aren't you fainted?
Cortex: eh? What? Ah yes! Pant…
N.Gin: That's better!
Cortex: pant… where are everyone?
N.Gin: You said attack!
Cortex: anf… ah yes! Pant…
N.Gin: Ah! I forget… I need an upgrade! I'll Buy Windows BE (Borg Edition; Note of the editor)
Cortex: No! not now Dr. Gin It's time to prepare something…
N.Gin: What? Lunch?
Cortex: No moron!!!! The crystals!!! Start reading them!
N.Gin: But…
Cortex: Oh man!!!!!!!!! USE LINUX IDIOT!!!!!
N.Gin: O.K.!!!!!!!!!
CRASH'S HOUSE
Coco and aku aku are examining the crystal while Crash walks in circles, hungry.
Crash: Oh! I'm so hungry!!! What time is it?
Coco (without looking him): 11 am!
Crash: AGH!
Aku Aku (without looking him): Be patient child!
Crash: Are you guys ignoring me?
Coco and Aku Aku (without looking him): No!
Crash: OK
Coco and Aku Aku (without looking him): Fine!
RRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLEEEEEEEEE
Coco and Aku Aku: Is that your stomach?
Crash: No, It's only a lot of bad guys directed to our house
(SILENCE)
Everyone: WWWWWWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT?????????

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Everyone enters house and start breaking anything Koala Kong grabs Ripper Roo and use it as an Aries to break the door Crash Bravely Put his body on the door to stop Koala Kong and shouts at coco to run away but Coco it's paralyzed.
Crash: RUN!
Coco: …
Crash: RUN! PLEASE!
Coco: …
Crash: RUN!RUN! RUN AWAY!!!
Coco: …
The door slams and splats crash; Aku Aku pulls coco away and takes the crystal.
Crash: AAARRRGGGHHH
Tiny: tiny splat crash
Koala Kong: NO! I splat it!!!
Tiny: It's the same for Tiny. Tiny have the copyleft!
Koala Kong: copyright! IDIOT!
Crash: aaaaaaahhhh…..
Tiny and Koala Kong lift up the door
Tiny: Crash Disappeared!
Tiny looks up and see crash pasted on the door.
Tiny: OH!
Coco: oh man! My poor brother! I must help I'm
Aku Aku: not now child! We must wait!
Coco sits on the ground; she feels so guilty!
Coco:SOB!
AT THE LAB
N.Gin: Here we are! BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
Cortex: Shut up MORON! I'm trying to think! What we can do? Those idiots will never return with the crystal; figure whit the bandicoot; ah!
With great surprise of cortex the bad guys
Cortex: BWAHAHAHAHAH!
Crash: Please Cortex don't laugh at that manner; you are irritant (copied for Monkey Island J)
Cotex: Okay! Ahem! Where's the crystal?
Crash: Which one?
Cortex: The fake one?
Crash: R U talking about one orange one?
Cortex: yeah
Crash: Normal looking?
Cortex: (with a little emotion) yeesss!!!
Crash: Very bright?
Cortex: OH YES!!!!
Crash: Whit awesome powers????
Cortex: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (emotion at the stars)
Crash: NO!
Cortex: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! STUPID BANDICOOT! DO YOU THINK I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF WORK!!!!!!! IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!
Crash: Ihihihihihihi! Stupid!
Cortex: If U don't wanna talk… I'll make your friends talk… BWAHAHAHAHAH!
Crash: You promised that you will don't laugh at that manner!
Cortex: O.K.!!!!!!!
Crash: Well; what's your plan corty?
Cortex: Corty?????????????????????????????
Crash: OK! Just nicknamed you!!!!!!
Cortex: GGGRRRRR….
CRASH'S HOUSE
Coco's laptop: Failed to hack! Failed to hack! Failed to hack!
Coco turns off her laptop and sighs; suddenly Aku Aku appears.
Aku Aku: Don't be sad child! He'll come back!
Coco: SOB no! he'll not Cortex hates him so much!!!
CORTEX LAB
Cortex and crash are drinking a tea and eating some wumpa fruit biscuits.
Cortex: Mmmh… Delicious!
Coco: Cortex probably killed him!
Cortex: some sugar my friend?
Coco: Crash Is probably suffering!
Crash: AHAHAHAHAH! Good one Cortex!!!!!!!!
Coco: sigh!
MORE SOON!
Cortex: well! And now…
Cortex looks the outer space while crash is looking at the N. Gin pics; He see a pic of a beautiful woman standing in front of N. Gin's Gas Station
Crash: Who's she?
N. Gin: Eh! What? Don't watch those pictures! (while his human part begins turning red N. Gin hide the pictures from crash's eyes)
Crash: you like it uh???
N. Gin: NOOO! I… I… I…
Crash: You are red like tomato!
N. Gin: GGGRRRR That's enough! Master!!!!! Lets close him in a cell!!!!
Cortex: No!!!!!!! I need to talk whit him!
Crash and N. Gin: WHAT???
Cortex: yes and… ALONE!!!
N. Gin leaves the main room smoking from his bomb talking of Bad bosses and stupid things.
Crash: What is it corty… ehrr… Cortex???
Cortex: Do you never think to be a bad guy
Crash: YES!
Cortex: ???
Crash: In dreams!
Cortex: AH! Listen… I think it's useless to fight right?
Crash: Right
Cortex: It's useless to damn everything right?
Crash: Left… HER! I say… Right!
Cortex: I know we have our problems
Crash: you rejected me!
Cortex: Yes but… years ago! Why don't we forget…
Crash: My decision is unremovable! Sorry
Cortex: OK! YOU STUPID BANDICOOT I GIVE YOU AN OCCASION; YOU WASTED HIM! I GIVE YOU ANOTHER ONE; YOU WASTED IT! DR. GIN! COME AND JAIL THIS IDIOT
N. Gin: That's talking master!
N. Gin shots but Crash avoids the shot and the ray hits Cortex.
Cortex: MORON! I'M NOW A FREESTE FROZE! ARGH!
Crash: AHAH! NICE SHOT N.GIN! AHAHAH
N. Gin shots again. Missed
Crash (singing): Gimmie baby one more time…
N. gin Shoots Missed
N. Gin: ARGH! STAY QUITE!
Cortex: M-M-M-M-MORON!
N. Gin (shhoting): GRRR…
Crash: OH! AWESOME ACCURACY!
N. Gin (Shooting like a mad): SHUT UP!!!
Cortex: NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
LAB EXPLODES IN A GREAT RAIN OF DETRITS ICE BITS
KKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM
Cortex: AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
N. Gin: Sorry Master Cortex! I-I-I-I-I…
Cortex: YOU ARE AN IDIOT! NOW CRASH IS FREE!
N. Gin: Sorry! I…
Before N. Gin Can ends his phrase an ice block (whit Crash in it) falls from the sky
Cortex: OH! GOOD!
But Cortex's smile turns early into an angry expression.
Cortex: Oh fine!
N. Gin: EHEHEH…
Cortex: we have the bandicoot… BUT WE DON'T HAVE THE JAIL!!!!!!!!

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Cortex: OK Idiot! Sit here and watch the bandicoot!
N. Gin: Hey but… the idiot is N. Brio
Brio: Noooo… I-I-I-I am the moron…
N. Gin: oh yeah
Cortex: SSHHHHHHUUUTTT UUUUUUPPPPP!
N. Gin: Yes master!
Cortex: must go now; wait here!
N. Gin: Yes master!
Cortex: well!
N. Gin: Yes master!
Cortex: * cough! *
N. Gin: Yes master!
Cortex: shut up… * sneezing *
N. Gin: Yes master!
Cortex: MORON! Stop talking and lend me something to cover myself I've gonna take a not-so-cutting edge-fever! * sneezes *
N. Gin: Yes master!
Cortex: aaawww…
N. Gin: Yes master!
Cortex: Shut up! Stupid borg
N. Gin: Yes… * beeps *
Cortex: are you OK.
N. Gin's system: All systems deactivated.
Cortex: What? OH NO!
Brio: O-O-O-O-OH MY! This means…
Cortex: I think so…
Brio: ooooooh! Poor N. Gin! I-I-I-I can't be-be-be-believe it!
Cortex: Ooooohhhh… but… why??? * sob! *
N. Gin: You guyyyys…. I'm trying to sleep!!!!!
Cortex (super angry x 1000): WWWWWHHHHHHAAAAATTTTTTTT???????
N. Gin: ERROR!
Cortex: STUPID… IDIOT… MORON… UMBELIVABLE… STUPIDITY… FUTILE… BORG… OF… ELECTRONIC… BITS… SALES…
Brio: Oh my god! He's starting again! * slaps his head *
Crash: Wozzup?
Brio: Nothing he-e-e-e-e-e's going on crisis!
Crash: does this happens usually?
N. Gin: uf… every 2 weeks and when he can't beat Crash
Crash: terrible! OK! I think it's better going far away from this right?
Brio and N. Gin: Yeah! Thanks man!
Crash: Bye!
Brio and N. Gin: Bye!
Cortex: STUPID… MORONS… CRASH… FREE… CAPTURE… BANDICOOT…
N. Gin: aaaaahh… he has flashbacks!!!
N. Gin and Brio: So unprofessional!

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Cortex: KIND OF IDIOTS YOU LET THE BANDICOOT GO!!!!!!!
N. Gin: But… master Cortex…
Cortex: MORON!!!
Brio (whispering to N. Gin): AGAIN!!!
Cortex: I'm sick and tired of be sick and tired! Into the Cortex Vortex!!!
Brio and N. Gin: WWWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTT??? NNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Cortex: yeeeeesss! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! Very good then! Go now!!!
Brio: It's all your fault!
N. Gin: OOOHHH YYYYEEESS!!! (imitating Brio) "Nothing… it's going on crisis…
Brio: shut up piece of electronic rubbish!
N. Gin: WWWWWHHHHAAAATTTT? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE???
Cortex: shut up! And… enter!
N. Gin: aaaaahh… good-bye my love! (smacks his pic…)
Brio: YUK!
N. Gin: shut up chemist!
Brio: O-O-O-Oh boy! Here we go a-a-a-a (laughs) again! I'm a…
Cortex: Shut up! (cortex indices the cortex vortex with an imperative gesture!)
N. Gin enters the vortex while Brio speaks with himself something! Suddenly the N. Gin's voice from the vortex says something and then stops * DING * The vortex ends his evolution progress and N. Gin appears like a ghost in the smoke.
N. Gin: WWWWEEEEEELLLLLL MASTER! I THINK I CAN START TO PULVERIZE!
Cortex: Here's our hero! AHAHAHAH!
Brio (looks the control panel): What? Boss! We must talk!
Cortex: not now!
N. Gin: YYYYYEEEEEAAAAHHHHH! NOT NOW!
Brio: you're mad!
Cortex: Why?
Brio: you setted… (looks N. Gin and stops talking suddenly)… nothing!
Cortex: are you talking of the suicide level?
Brio: WHAT?
Cortex: you said that… "stupid piece of electronic rubbish!"
N. Gin: W-W-W-W-W-W-WHAT???
Cortex: oh nothing you will explode in two days!
N.Gin: WWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAATTTTTT??????
Cortex: don't worry! Just BE the bomb… AHAHAHAHAH!
N. Gin: NOT… VERY… FUNNY…
Brio: aaaaaaaahhh…
Everyone exits the room save N. Gin; he stands in front of the vortex, like paralyzed… he tries top speak what he wants but the vortex eliminates his intelligence; he's only a doll… and his capricious boy is Cortex…

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CRASH'S HOUSE

Coco's laptop system: Failed to access data! Failed to access data! Failed to access data!
Coco: SOB! Try again!!!
Aku Aku: MMMMMHHH! I can't ear him presence…
Coco: WWWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAATTTTTTTT? NOOOOOOOOO!
Aku Aku: Yes….
In the woods crash is walking on bushes so he can't see the ground
Crash: BOY! How… AAAAAAAAH!
Crash falls into an hole and knocks his head on a rock…
Crash is lying on the ground… IS THAT HIS END???
N. Gin: … a … very … very … not … funny …
Brio (Tinking): Don't worry my friend! I'll save you!
Brio turns completely and enters his lab
Brio: Magnesium, Helium… ooooooh…
A little potion fells into a bowl and explodes into a green smoke…
Brio: COOF! COOF! No! I miss something (Taking a book from the bookcase) A-A-A-Ah yeah! Sure! (laughs) I forgot the most important t-t-t-t-thing… Bandicoot (laughs) fuuuuuurr! Eheheheh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh… O-O-O-O-Oh my god (laughs)…
N. Gin: not… very… funny… master… Cortex… (looking the floor) MOVE… NOW… GO… OUTSIDE! MUST… GO…
Cortex: Hey hey hey! What are you doing, my little borg??? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Are you "ezcaping" from the "prizion"??? HAHAHAHAH! (going outside) I'm sooooo bad!
Brio: Must find fur! Aaaaah but… H-H-H-H-How???
Cortex: "Prizionnn"!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! "prizion" ohohohohohoh!!!! "prizion"
Brio: AH! I MUST g-g-g-g-g-go now!!! (taking his jacket) To the b-b-b-b-bandicoot's house!
Lawrence: SHUT IT!
Brio (pushed out): OUCH! HEY! WHAT???
Lawrence: Nothing! Just wanna push persons smaller than me! (Dropping out from the scene)
Brio: ????
THE WOODS
Aku Aku and Coco decide to seek crash so they go to the woods and after two hours they see Crash but…
Coco: CRASH!!! CRASH!!! CRASH!!! OOOOOOOOOOOH…
Aku Aku: Oh coco! Please calm down!
Coco: NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Aku Aku (Making a spell to relax Coco): Aaaaaaaahhhh! I cant believe it… Crash!!! Please!!! Wake up… ooohh… any spell will be futile
CRASH'S HOUSE
Uka Uka: For the last time Crash Bandicoot give me the crystal!!!! * growls *
SILENCE…
Uka Uka: What? But… where are everyone?
Lawrence (pushing Uka Uka): SHUT IT!
Uka Uka: what??? What??? What???
Lawrence: Nothing! Just like to push persons smaller than me (drops out the scene)
Uka Uka: Ooooh… To do list: Destroy Crash Corner Message board…

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THE WOODS
Aku Aku and Coco are transporting Crash to their house But Brio Is looking…
Brio: HANDS UP MARSUPIALS!!!
Aku Aku: WHAT?
Brio: GIVE ME SOME OF YOUR DAMN FUR!!!!
Coco: WHAT?
Brio: I MUST save N. Gin!!!! Cortex is mad…
Aku aku talks to brio then he tells the story to Coco and she says that they can grab Crash's fur because he's over…
Brio (cutting some fur): Sorry for your brother…
Crash: OUCH!
Coco: aaaah… I can quite hear his laments…
Crash: OUCH! NO!
Brio: me too!
Crash: GET IT! GET IT!
Brio: aaaah… very sorry!
Crash (shouting): LET ME IN PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone: OH MY GOD!!!!! CRASH!!!!!!! ARE YOU OK???
Crash: Of course I… (falling) Aaaaaaaaahhm!
THUND!!!
Everyone (rolling their eyes): Are you sure?
Crash: gggggggggggggh……
CORTEX LAB
N. Gin looks out the window; it's raining (guess why :))
N. Gin: AW… LOOK… RAIN… WET… REMEMBER…
N. Gin had a flashback; he's on the gas station, two racers run away along the road it is a rainy day, suddenly a woman appears N. Gin thinks that she's the prettiest woman on the earth.
He walks along the wet patio of the gas station and see she; but he see his reflection on the petrol pump and think that he's too ugly for that woman so he takes a photo of her; The woman see the flash and walks in the flash origin direction; N. Gin tries to run away but she stops him.
Woman: Hey!
N. Gin: NO! DON'T LOOK ME!
Woman (giggling): OK!
N. Gin: I'm so ugly
Woman: no… you aren't
N. Gin (looking her): no???
Woman: no!
N. Gin is surprised! He expected that the woman ran away from him but she approaches to him
Woman: hey! What's your name
N. Gin: G-G-G-Gin!
Woman (giggling): Your name is G-G-G-Gin???
N. Gin: no… only Gin…
Woman: What a nice name
N. Gin: really?? You think its nice? I think that's horrible!
Woman (giving him a big smile): no! not at all
N. Gin: And yours?
Woman: P…
AND HERE ENDS THE FLASHBACK!!!
N. Gin: P… P… P… P…

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