How can you tell if your child is a hacker?

-he never sleeps

-the FCC is always at the door

-he has 5 cell phones

-he always has nice shit but it doesn't work

-he speaks in some jive language

-he has friends in every 3rd world country

-he has no phone bill

-he has seven lines but pays for none

-he asks for a case of Coke for Christmas

-he never lets you use your own credit cards

-he doesn't talk much but types fast

-he is paranoid and doesn't leave the house

-he speaks its in acronyms

-he comes home with garbage bags marked AT&T

-he is extremely sensitive to light

-he has no respect for anyone

-he gets straight A's in school without attending

-he has spare parts for all electronic objects

-he has logs of other peoples chat

-the power goes out he fixes it

-he has his own radio station

-he always has bad lag

-he watches space shuttle launches with unusual
 interest for a young kid

-he drives an AT&T truck

-he drools at passing TELCO vans with
 4 or 5 lineman's handsets

-he is way to interested in the stock market

-he has a car with a license plate that
 rotates between 6 or eight plates

-he can tell mom what number she dials from across the room

-he is either very obese or very skinny with thick glasses

-he has manuals with 75, ROLM, Plexar, ESS5 and SWB on it

-he has the neighbors phone bills, credit
 reports, and credit card bills

-he knows who is moving in next door before they move in

-he has taco bell, burger king, pizza boxes, empty
 bottles and full ashtrays everywhere

-he has 10 pay phones in his room

-he cards pizza's every night

-he has 5 corpses of Bell men in his basement

-he is more interested in CERTGIV and NASAGOV than girls!

-he only has one shirt

-he reads bar codes faster than the supermarket people

-he never calls people by their full name

-he can hear frequencies the dog normally hears

-he says he was talking long distance with a
 friend but you never get the bill

-he can name what city someone is in by their telephone

-he detects police better than radar

-he doesn't ever hit red lights

-he gets 10,000 catalogs in the mail

-he is always ordering 65537 MHz crystals

-he has his own fleet of nuclear subs

-he can memorize card numbers in a single glance

-he argues about everything

-he always needs more solder

-he has burns from solder on his hands

-he eats captain crunch cereal all day

-he has more friends on IRC than in home state

-he writes with all 00000001 0000010 00000101

-he refers to the president by his social security number

-he got accepted into every college, after
 dropping out of high school

-he carries boxes in his pocket to school